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Oanh Vu
June 7, 2016 at 8:14 am
He cheated me and dated with another girl but he still kept dating me for a long time. Then he became mor distant with me. Now I discover that he is going to get married with the girl and he say sorry to me. But I still love him. I have no chance. Right?
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 15, 2016 at 7:51 am
Hi Oanh Vu,
you don’t deserve him.. If he’s like that he will probably do it to his soon to be wife.. Be happy you dodged a person like him.
Jules
May 30, 2016 at 10:51 pm
Hi,
Broke up with my bf of a year and a half 16 days ago. Every time we broke up we would always cave and get back together after a few days but this time I kept no contact. After 10 days no contact he texted me “hope you are doing well xoxo” I ignored it. He hasn’t texted me again but I’m scared he’s going to give up and not try to win me back. This is the longest we have gone without talking. This weekend is his birthday and I don’t plan on wishing him a happy birthday either. Is it a good sign he has even texted me once in that time?
Thanks 🙂
Jules
May 31, 2016 at 7:05 pm
Because we both know the timing of the relationship isn’t right. He is separating and I am divorced. Both have kids. But then we would get scared of losing each other completely and would make up. This time when he told me timing was wrong again, I told him he was right and told him I was moving on. I thought that was what he really wanted this time. I was clear it wasn’t what i wanted but i told him i respected his decision and didn’t fight it. I want him to step up his game and make the changes needed to make the timing right. I’m hoping my distance will give him the “balls”. But like many women i see on these sites, we start to get scared that ignoring them makes them forget about us and then we cave….so I think that is my current paranoia right now as well since i haven’t heard from him in a week.
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 1, 2016 at 1:20 am
a week is still early,and there’s a chance that he’s still checking you online so, increase the chances of him regretting leaving you by being active.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 31, 2016 at 6:29 pm
Hi Jules,
why do you always break up? Yes, it’s a good sign 🙂
Noname
May 27, 2016 at 10:01 am
My ex broke things off two weeks ago but about 3 days ago I said I need space and he’s taken that on board but even further by avoiding me (we work together). We have mutual friends but he just isn’t around anymore and has moved department due to job change. I feel like he’s just got new friends now so doesn’t need me anymore, in the past he’s contacted me by now but now he’s keeping away. He loves me but only reason for breaking up is the situation (I won’t go into detail) doesn’t allow it. He said if thins were different he’d have married me by now and I’m perfect… How do I get him to miss me and reach out to me? I don’t want to lose him all together I at least want him to try be my friend (I want to see that I do
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 30, 2016 at 5:44 am
Hi No name,
it depends on the situation and what you need to change.. of he sees you’ve changed from what he doesn’t want then there’s a chance he will be ok to be friends again at first
Lisa
May 24, 2016 at 3:32 pm
Thank you for all the replies!! It’s amazing that you respond to everyone!! I told my ex soon after breaking up to not talk to me unless he wants to get back together. He said sorry and said he’d give me space because he “needs to work on himself.” Soon after, I told him I’m ready to be friends and I’ve been failing NC rule after 1-2 weeks of NC. Do I wait another 30 days? 60 days? I’m worried because now if he doesn’t reach out during the NC period, he won’t not even notice that I’m ignoring him or if so, he’ll know it’s because I still love him and this won’t be effective. How should I approach this?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 27, 2016 at 7:06 am
Hi Lisa,
you’re welcome 🙂 Restart count and aim 30 days. If he sees you’ve been busy through your social media posts, he will think you’re moving on and increase the chance of him missing you.
Elle
May 24, 2016 at 1:32 pm
Hi I’m posting a follow-up cause I think my response got lost in the mix. Please refer back to my original post for details 🙂
I started texting my ex again, not too much. The conversations are short. I’m not sure what he’s thinking. I want him to ask more about my life but he hasn’t. Should I ask about his? Also, somewhere in the middle of NC, I removed him on Facebook. I know he noticed because of mutual friends saying he commented on it. I don’t know if that diminished my chances or not, because he has no insight on what I’m doing with my life.. I also told him I had time to meet up if he wanted, which he seemed open to, but in the end told me he wanted to go somewhere else with a guy friend and said maybe later this week. Does that mean he’s not interested? Should I ask our mutual friend to help me gain some insight on my ex’s feelings?
Also, when we dated, I would not say we texted that often, we weren’t particularly affectionate over text. We also rarely called each other. He was more of an in-person guy, or it was just the lack of strong feelings for me that made him like this. I’m not sure if anything will change this time around or if the texting method will be useful.
Elle
May 25, 2016 at 1:57 pm
Should I just asked his friend to find out if my ex has moved on? I think I’m getting exhausted with the emotions and effort of something that isn’t fixable (his feelings towards me, even though he told me he still likes me when we broke up)..
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 27, 2016 at 9:52 am
I mean it’s alright to aak your sx how he has been or how his day has been but don’t make it the first text in the day because sometimes that’s a boring topic of he didn’t anything much..
with his friend, just make it casual.. ask it in between the conversation..connect it to what you’re talking about so you don’t sound like you’re just there to ask about your ex
Elle
May 25, 2016 at 1:54 am
How do I ask his friend without seeming nosy/desperate? When I tell him that I wonder how my ex is feelings/thinking, he just tells me that he wants me to not dwell on those things and to focus on myself.. I think if I asked him to ask my ex about me he would do it..
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 24, 2016 at 11:39 pm
Hi Elle,
yes, you should ask help from you friend. And yes too about asking how he is.. Use topics that he loves talking about when you saw each other in person, so that he would be more interested in texting..
Queen
May 22, 2016 at 2:08 pm
I have asked you before Amor, same name, from different column article.
Guy A : From last year my ex has been seen to block his instagram & restricted facebook from me. But he didn’t block my whatsapp & facebook & calls, I can still do it, I can send to him 1 off random messages after no contact since last year. But he didn’t reply anything, ignored & all seen immediately. It’s been a year, he seems to be on okc as single and the photo look like he was depressed, fatter & eyebags no sleep. I guess he is open to new girls but not to me, we broke up cos my dad given him a headache. He has since moved out from the same apartment that we lived & I don’t know how to find him to bump into him or know his friends as he is anti-social. He just workout & sleep & work. I don’t know what is his activities anymore. He didn’t open up to me or reach to me, I had given him time and space & much improve myself! How am I to reconnect if he don’t answer my text/calls or have opportunities to meet. He is acting like a brick wall ! He is 25 & I am 25.
Guy B: Secondly, I have met this other guy online to form a long distance relationship, we hit it off & he want to marry and move with me to any city in the world! Then suddenly he get jealous that he see I added new people on FB he said to me after short silent. On that small fact alone he said I am a liar-bad, and immediately block me off both FB & Watsapp, when I called him he doesn’t answer, so I send him a sms to rectify situation. We never argue before and this guy infirst small thing he blow me off. Before this he was very intense with me and had told his mom he going to bring me to her in that seriousness. He is 30 & I am 25. So I wonder why everything dissapear again when I am even preparing to uproot myself to new city. He is so jealous, I have no form to contact him now except by sms.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 26, 2016 at 10:30 am
Hi Queen,
so, who do you really want to get back with?
Kelsey
May 21, 2016 at 10:39 pm
My ex and I broke up 6 weeks ago, he said that he was just not feeling it anymore.. and of course we were fighting a decent amount and never really solved our problems we just waited for them to go away and let them subconsciously build up.. So then I let a week pass and told him we need to get together and talk and I tried to tell him all the ways we could work it out and fix things but he still was cold and distant, but he told me we could still talk and that “Communication was good..” so of course I felt like my chances were not completely gone. So then he decided to take me to one of my appointments that I could not drive myself to and he ended up kissing me, but then pulled away saying that he was now confused. So then a week later he took me to another appointment and I told myself that he would not kiss me again and of course he did! While kissing I attempted to get answers out of him and he said at the time that he would be very sad if he lost me. I asked if it was wrong for me to fight for him and he said no…SO then I let him finish out his college finals, and I thought this was the whole reason he was feeling distant is because he was stressed with school and I was also stressing him out.. So once school was over I attempted to see him again to see if he would kiss me again and to see if there was anything left to hold on to and to fight for. But basically he ended up having a reason for not coming and of course I got mad and fell back into my old ways and pushed way too hard. He thought it was all about the ring that I was attempting to get back (my excuse to see him) and he flipped out saying how ridiculous it was that I was obsessing over the ring, I then explained myself and he said he is sorry for flipping out and I said “Honestly, I did want the ring back, but I mainly wanted to see you” and he did not respond. So now it has been 5 days no contact and I dont know what is going through his mind.. Does he even notice im gone since he hasnt even responded? does he feel like he lost me, and does he not care? is he just mad and thats why hes not responding? did I ruin my chances of NC being effective because I did not do it right after the break up?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 26, 2016 at 8:58 am
Hi Kelsey,
have you talked again?
Karine
May 18, 2016 at 4:53 pm
Chris, what if while one uses NC rule, the ex looks for another lady to recover or takes a revenge ? 🙂
A month is a very long time to keep silence.,, men who are not deep in love can easily change girlfriends or even have fun while no contact rule is being applied on them.
After a month silence I would never accept anyone back!! 🙂
This is my second comment on your site, I really like what you write but at the same time I have so much to say and disagree too :))
Overall, this is the best site for advice. Thank you
Karine
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 24, 2016 at 6:21 pm
Hi Karine,
nc is not a cure for all. It will depend on the situation if you should do it and for how long you should do it
Scarlett
May 16, 2016 at 11:25 pm
Hi!
Wil this no contact work on a very new ‘dating’ situation? I’ve only seen this guy once, although we txted a lot a while back. Um and I did sleep with him, which was great although not exactly hard to get lol.
Anyway, we txted the next couple of days, then ignored 2 of my texts. So, I stoped txting him. That was 2 weeks ago. I plan to not txt him at all and let him get in touch with me – when he does (if I guess…) should a U carry on with the 30days if it hasn’t been that long? I dont want ti reply straight away, I know that if I dont play this right I will end up as a friend with benefits…. And despite yhe beginning of us, I do want more with him 🙂 thanks!
Ps. One of his txts was that he had bought me some food Id been talking about, so he obviously does actually want to see me again. Or did 🙁
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 24, 2016 at 7:58 am
Hi Scarlett,
I think 30 days is too long, but what’s sure is that you shouldn’t text him again. Try to read this two blog posts and decide which one you would follow.
How To Get An Ex Boyfriend Back If You Slept With Him
EBR 006: How To Turn Friends With Benefits Into A Relationship
Marlene
May 15, 2016 at 5:16 am
Hi. My ex and I had a terrible argument a couple of weeks ago. He subsequently blocked me on social media so I have no choice but to accept a NC scenario, yet I noticed that he has not blocked me on the IM apps that we used with each other, therefore keeping a line of communication on. He periodically unhides his normally hidden “last seen” status for a few seconds then hides it again. I wonder if he is spying on me, wondering why I haven’t sent him pleading texts and emails. He does this during the day and at odd hours (we are both light sleepers). Why would he do that?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 15, 2016 at 9:30 am
Hi Marlene,
maybe you’re right.. but whether you’re right or not be active in yourself for now.. improve yourself and be active in posting it social media even if you’re blocked.
Gakec
May 14, 2016 at 8:20 pm
Hi, I just need some guidance and appreciate any help. My BF and I have only been seeing each other for 4 months and recently (2 weeks ago) got into our 3rd big argument. All of which have stemmed from my possessiveness and anger issues. I quite honestly never knew I had these issues until I started dating him. We fell in love with each other and on top of that, we are a little over an hour away in distance. Two weeks ago we got into a heated argument (about me controlling him again) on text message and haven’t seen each other since. No clean breakup, nothing. He reaches out to me via text every 3 days to check in and to see how I’m doing. I have not taken the initiative to reach out but have answered his text messages. He recently reached out via email this time because I think he deleted my text messages to reassure me that none of those things happened that I accused him of since the breakup and he thinks about me every day. Not knowing what to say I of course take control of his email and explain to him that isn’t so and why I felt that way and that what he said wasn’t the problem rather it stems from my possessive tendencies which is the root of the problem. No word back. I emailed again asking if what I explained made sense and still no word. If in another 3 days he emails again, can you advice me what to say or what not to say? I’m just digging myself in a hole. Thank you, your advise has been great based on what I’ve been reading.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 15, 2016 at 8:39 am
hi Gakec,
it’s hard to advise because it will depend on his reply to you..
stan khmelnytskyy
May 12, 2016 at 4:20 pm
So my scenario is very special and I completely understand if you cant help me. I am a 19 year old Male In college. My ex broke up with me out of the blue on 5/8/16 (Sunday) She was my first every thing. Sex, lover, gf….etc about 6 months ago My ex’s mother visited a psychic… and the psychic told her that I was going to abuse her daughter. Beat her dog. Sabotage her school. That I was currently cheating on her with lots of people. That Her daughter wasn’t my first partner.(way more to the Psychic story, It happened twice. Second time My Ex’s mom brought her to the “psychic”. I guess after all of that Her mother was convinced. So comes Friday morning( 5/6/16) she randomly wakes up in the middle of the night wakes me up and tells me that she loves me.. That same morning she was going to her parents house. (they live 2 hours away) I had school. Saturday every thing is fine accept that she said she had a headache towards the end of the day. The next morning (sunday) She does not send me any cute txt, Good morning, no emojies, etc. My gut feeling starts firing off. Then couple hours later out of the blue she sends me this text msg. “Stan I’m sorry to say that I have been doing some thinking over the past 3 weeks and my feelings for you have changed. I do not mean to hurt you or do you wrong. Do not contact me. Do no show up to my apartment. Do not call me. I will mail you your stuff by end of this week. Idk what happened over the weekend. But she treated me like a monster. None of the things that the psychic said were remotely true about me. The next day She Sent me a msg saying that She fells really bad about how she ended things and that she hopes that I am ok. I really really love her for she is my first love. I even avoided having sex with girls in high school so I can have it with my first love. Another thing that confused me is that I could tell if some thing was wrong right away. If she was having second thoughts about her feelings for me I would know. Could you please shed any advice for me. I could really use it right now. Also your thoughts on this break up. I have never felt this kind of pain before. If you are a female: could you possibly tell me how she is feeling? Btw we dated for 1 year and 4months.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 15, 2016 at 4:46 am
Hi Stan,
you dated for a year and the reason she broke up with was the psychic? or you just think it is?
Ch
May 11, 2016 at 8:18 pm
My ex broke up with me two months ago. I did not contact him during 2months but today I decided to send him a tex. ´´hey..I watched a moved and it reminded me of you´´. His answer was: ´´Thank you for thinking of me, hope you are doing well´´. I feel like he was not happy about hearing from me.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 15, 2016 at 2:12 am
Hi CH,
Maybe he just doesn’t know how to respond to a remembrance text but what’s clear is that he’s not really into getting back with you but it looks like he’s open to start being friends again.
Peter
May 10, 2016 at 5:02 am
As a guy who has been on the receiving end of a 30 day no contact I actually think your assessment of the “guy who thinks she’s disinterested” is slightly wrong. For me after 2 weeks of not talking I just assumed it was over and started moving on. Then 3 weeks later she contacted me but those 3 weeks gave me clarity to the fact that I deserved better than being ignored for over a month. In this case the mustang turn into having no car.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 10, 2016 at 9:53 am
Hi Peter,
thank you for the feedback! 🙂 that’s good that you cleared it up but actually your answers shows you’re not a problem boyfriend! 🙂 and that you know you’re giving your best in the relationship because if you are the problem, then you would have been worried..
but that’s a good point to make it clear too, that the problem gf has to show you that she’s improving herself when she’s not contacting you, for you to kind of give it another shot of talking to her? feel free to correct me if I”m wrong 🙂
Elle
May 8, 2016 at 10:57 pm
This is the second time my ex and I have broken up, for the same reason. I have always had stronger feelings for him and he has felt guilty that he doesn’t reciprocate it in the same manner. We dated for 5 months, broke up for 1.5 months, and then dated again for another 10 months. The first time we got together, we kept in contact, seeing each other and hooking up, with me trying to persuade him to just give it more time. Now, after we’ve broken up, I’ve been trying to see him less, only once a week or so, limited contact. He was scared that he couldn’t love me the way I loved him, and felt his feelings should be as strong by now. He also felt it was unfair. After a month of on and off contact, I told him we shouldn’t contact each other anymore, and it’s been about 5 weeks since we’ve contacted each other. Should I keep hoping and waiting for him to come back, or should I make the first move again?
Elle
May 9, 2016 at 6:22 pm
We just kept seeing each other and I kept telling him that he was giving up too soon, and that if we like each other we should just keep going. Now after NC am scared he’s already moved on to contact him now too. Should I ask him if there’s still a chance? When we ended things he left it hopeful, like we maybe will get back together someday. I am working on some things but it’s hard to say if its for myself or for him.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 10, 2016 at 3:59 am
nope.. don’t ask him.. treat this as a restart.. he’ll think you’re chasing him.. he has to think you’ve moved and you’re just being friendly because after all, you had history so, you just want to start over as friends.. and then continue to what you were doing nc to improve yourself.. aim to be the ungettable girl.
read this blog post for that. The Ungettable Girl
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 9, 2016 at 8:05 am
Hi Elle,
how did you persuade him? for me it’s just letting things flow naturally.. build rapport through conversations and then later on he will be more comfortable while you continue to do balance by continuing the activities you started during nc to improve yourself…hopefully when you become more confident and he’s more comfortable with you, he’d be attracted
Maria
May 7, 2016 at 3:55 pm
Hi Cris, I asked for you advice few years ago and you helped me to realize that he didn’t worth it at all, thanxs. Now there is a new guy, but I still being unlucky in relationships matters, let’s go to the point, I met the guy, I date the guy for almost 2 months, We slept togeter in our second date (That one was very clever of me- Sarcasm), I broke up NC rule after a week, cause someone in his family has died, after 2 days, ’cause I want to see him and I wanted to he cheers up, I invited to my b-day party after that I started over to the NC rule until today (14 days), I want to Apply a 40 days NC, but I don’t know what the heck I am doing, I guess he is nost that into me from the beginning and worst after sex, so I don’t even know why I am doing this. I need a piece of advice. Thanks 🙂
Maria
May 13, 2016 at 3:06 am
Hi Amor, don’t get me wrong, I know what I am doing, that is why I asked for your advice, the thing is that I am a little hart broken, ’cause I don’t know if he even cares, he have not contacted me yet, he does not chase me, from my perspective Wehad something with a lot of potential, we laught a lot, we shared goals, points of views, tastes, so for me there is something to fight for, but I am scare and hartbroken, cause I don’t want to be the fool that fights for a lost cause, don’t want to get my hart broken again. That is why I come to you asking for advice.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 14, 2016 at 11:49 am
ok I understand.. that’s really the risk of being in a relationship.. You can’t avoid being hurt because that’s part of love.. but as you see, if he doesn’t appreciate you then it’s time to walk away.. You are compatible but he’s not the only person you’ll be compatible with, there will be another that will show you that he loves you. You deserve that.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 9, 2016 at 1:44 am
Hi Maria,
If you don’t know why you’re doing it, the more you should keep being in no contact to reflect because that means there’s not enough reason for you to fight for him…Why continue the relationship if you don’t even know what is valuable in it?
Sunny
May 5, 2016 at 8:28 am
Hi, I and my BF broke up 2 weeks ago (I know we are still in love) He is 24 years old American boy living in my country. He was very committed during the relationship, treated me very well but he always wanted to be with me like 24/7, made me a bit tired and angry coz I’m a “romantic” type of person and like to be alone. Anyway I was very happy with relationship but I was always very jealous of his old photos with exes… I know it’s stupid but I guess it’s a difference in cultures. In Vietnam, love and marriage is very important and very rarely or no one keep their exes pictures on social network (Facebook,..) Anyway, we had a lot of fights because both of us were young and very stubborn, competitive, with every small matter we both wanted to be a winners. …. Finally he said Breakup, he wanted to concentrate on his work, earning money and travelling. Yesterday I met him as he asked me to help him translate with the motorbike fixer, we had coffee time and talked. He just said things like he didn’t want to get back in relationship, that he’s going to move house to live with friends, that he’s going to go Cambodia or Phillipines… Everything is just so horrible. I went back home and he suddenly came to my room, he stood in front of door and said “thank you for the motorbike” he was so happy about the fixed motorbike that wanted to come to me and say “thank you” I don’t know why he wanted to be alone and treated me like that. As for me I don’t really understand the situation and why We had to break up.
Today is my first day of NC rules, but he just messaged me asking about how to buy avocado in the market and ask the price per kg (Because in VN it’s very easy for locals to overcharge foreigners). I don’t know should I answer and help him ????????????
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 8, 2016 at 3:32 am
Hi Sunny,
I think he wanted the break up because you were having a lot of fights. if he doesn’t want to get back with you then that means he’s friendzoning you.. are you still in nc?
Maya
May 4, 2016 at 6:26 pm
Hello,
I have been with my exboyfriend for 7 months. I thought everything was going great, we both seemed very happy, very close with each other, rarely argued. I had to go out of Country for 3 weeks. He drove me to the airport, was upset that I was leaving. We were making plans for the upcoming summer, how much fun we are going to have together. 3 days later he became cold in his messages so I started questioning what is wrong. After many messages he said that he needs a break because he is stressed out. I was in a panic mode and kept asking what is going on. He became silent. Two days later he said that it’s best if we go separate ways. We met upon my return and he explained to me that he lost all his feelings towards me and he is not ready for a relationship. I don’t think there is another lady in the picture. He looked visibly upset and tired. When he told me he has no feelings I walked away. But I still love him very much. I texted and emailed him a few times apologizing that I walked away but haven’t heard from him. I have decided to stop contacting him. It is my third day with nc. Will the nc rule work if he is already not talking to me? I am heartbroken. Everything was going so well, I don’t know what has happened 🙁
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 8, 2016 at 2:12 am
Hi Maya,
I hope you’re still in nc now and yes, there’s a chance it work even if he’s not talking to you.. that is if you’re active in improving yourself.. making a new life, like moving on.. Be active in posting in social media because in that way, it can increase the chances of him missing you and for him to see you’re not chasing him..
but of course for you to heal and gain emotional stability too.. you’ll probably know the real reason either during nc, or when you’re back to rebuilding rapport..the important thing is, he thinks you’ve moved on so that he will be open to talking again.
Angel
May 1, 2016 at 5:14 pm
Hi brad. Thanks soo much for the really good article. I had been with my ex for about 4 years. He couldnt find job here so he decided to come back to sydney. Before goin back, he asked me to marry him on this summer vacation and I said yes. He then went back to sydney and lived in his family house, for the period of three months everything was okay, we kept missing each other, he got a job, and he even begged me to visit him soon but I couldnt cuz I was studying as well. After 3 months apart things becoming more stressfull for him, he had to move out from the family house n it was difficult for him to find the house. I was helping him as well. He got so distant to me and I was feeling so sad. I kept asking him what happend n cuz this is my first relationship I didnt know that it was normal for a guy to have little space when they re stress out. Then he found the house. He was going to move out on wednesday and at the same time in the morning he wanted to go and play football with his friends, I said its better not to play for today cuz im scared he would be tired. He got annoyed so at the end I let him playing. After moving out to a new house, it was so difficult for me to be able to talk to him freely. Everytime we chatted he was online but reply me soo slow.. Then I asked him if he talked to his homemates, he said ya. Then I told him just talk to his friend firts I wont disturb. When I called him it was so noisy n we couldnt talk freely. N I felt he didnt get enough sleep as well. Sorry for telling you in detail cuz i cant analyze the situation. One week after moving out, he called me n said he was not ready to marry me, I tried to convince him it was only a cold feet. He apologised n then we came back to the old plan. The next few day he said the same thing, then I told him to take it slowly if he wasnt ready. After few days more he didnt pay enough attention to me. N he apologise after I got so angry, he said sorry for not able to pay enough attention and n he would try his best to pay more attention. But I could feel we just becoming more distant. I admit the point you mentioned about why he lost interest I did all of them. Then my birthday came, I asked him if he prepared anything to me, he said no sorry he had no time. Then he asked me what I wanted, I said I wanted to meet him. Then we decided to buy ticket for me to visit him. I found the cheap ticket. The next day I asked him if I should book it. Firstly he said wait. Then I said, why you said wait again why u became so bad. Then he said sorry cuz he was tired from work cuz he just got home. Then he asked me to buy the ticket. My mom had to oay it first cuz we wanted to book it early. The next day I asked him if he had sent the money, he said he went home so late n he said he cudnt but he wud send it tomorrow. Then the next day he said he had to rush home to do sth. I was askinh him if he wud actually send the money cuz I didnt know what to say to my mom. He said ofcourse he wud he wasnt a bad person. Then I got my period, I messaged him sooooo looonggg at that night, I said I was happy but sad at the same time cuz we were not like before. The next day I asked him again if he sent the money. N he replied me
“Im sorry I have no feeling for you anymore. I feel like everything im doing right now is you the one who asked me to do not what I want to do.” N he said he had been feeling this for long time.
I was so shocked. N tried to explain to him and beg unfortunately. I even asked him if he didnt love me why one month ago he still asked me to have phone sex n so on. He said it was only his desire. N i was so shocked n i asked him to take that word back cuz he wud regret it. I begged him for about one week for second chance. Then the last day I found out he was goin to have party in his new apartment. His mate was actually the one who arrange it. I asked him n he said he didnt know. N i told him I found out from his fb n I added one of his mate on fb n said hi to him. He was so angry n he said what for? He said if I kept checking his fb he wud change the password. I apologised n said it wasnt a problem bef n i didnt know. Then I asked hin for a second chance and he said “up to you, im not happy.” I asked him dont be like this. Then I asked him to give me. Then he daid “ya, I want to sleep.” Then he hung up. This is the first time he hung up on me and after he said he wasnt happy, I was so sad and I lost my confidence. Then Im doing the no contact rule. Two days after the party I saw his pic with to girls. But after couple hours the pic is deleted. I know he tried to hide it from his parents. The next day I saw him bein friends with the girls in the pic. Then the next day he started to like other girls pic. I was so broken heart. He was a good guy n when he was with me he neva did this. He changed his profile pic on fb but he is still using our ring. Is it a good sign for me? Or guy dont think that much. Idk I feel like im over analyzing the situation n so so. What do you think? Im going to do one month no contact rule, is it enough? Until now he doest initiate the contact, why? Is it bad? If he doesnt initiate the contact for one month, should I contact him first? Are we actually break up or taking a break cuz he said yes to give us chance but with annoyed tone, should I actually consider this as a break up or only giving space? What im supposed to do.. For me being friends with opposite gender is not ok. I feel insecure, am I wrong? Why is it important for him to be friends with other girls when he has me? Wudnt that only give him chance to cheat n make me his plan B cuz he knows i love him soo much? He changed after he moved to the new house n he said everytime we talked just make him so stress. So, is the new friends he have now is a bad impact? N the fact he is liking other girls pics, does he like them? Cuz if he is interested in other girl just after 2 days breaking up, I cant accept that. I will think he is not a good person. He loved me really much n took care of me not only emotionally but also financially. He understand me truly. But how come he changed in 4 months? But I knew I did all those lists that make him lost interest. But I didn that cuz this is my first real relationship n we get too comfortable for each other.. Please help me to explain what happend. Thanks.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 3, 2016 at 8:10 am
Hi Angel,
If I”m only going to base it on your story. It looks like the stress of moving out got to him.. and then you had fights and then he got comfortable having his only space and maybe he thought he wants to take more time in enjoying being single first.. since it coincides in you two fighting , it seems to justify his thought that it’s better to stay single for now..
if you’re going to ask if it’s ok to have female.. it’s ok but it’s different if he flirts with them.. his actions with the party is to have fun.. being with girls is part of having fun in that party.. for now, don’t take it seriously.. maybe it’s his way of getting his mind off the break up..
GIve him space and work to have your own life and improve yourself.. so, that you can handle being in your first relationship, especially it’s long distance..
Abha
April 29, 2016 at 12:14 am
Hi Amor
What to do next a nc again or something else.
I try to clear the view of my relation and the relation b/w my ex and his exes as you asked.
I dont understand him now his words i never cal u ,never msg u while i m not disturbing him and when he know the truth.
abha
May 2, 2016 at 3:37 pm
Oh ok..thanks amor
Abha
May 1, 2016 at 7:10 am
Ok thank you Amor..i am just waiting for your suggestion..and yes its really so much messed up.i am in my nc well its just 5th day..i complete it..and i will wait as you say..thank you
One more thing i want it clear.. What it means -don’t mind with his other friends or flirt …?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 1, 2016 at 3:07 pm
if ever he flirts with other girls don’t mind it and focus on your actions after nc..
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 1, 2016 at 4:32 am
Okay, for now, do another nc since everything is so messed up.. be focused on yourself ok? Do 30 days.. don’t mind his other friends or flirts after nc.. just focus on rebuilding the rapport.. but if you’re still blocked after your nc, that means you have to extend until you’re unblocked.. only talk about more serious matters when you get to the meet up stage when he is the best mood.