494 thoughts on “Getting Him Back After A Year (Or More) Apart”

1. 

   Awai

   October 18, 2016 at 6:55 pm

   I accidentally bumped into my ex last Monday. We were best friends during my junior year (he was a sophomore) and after his nasty break-up with his ex (about 3-4 months after), we got into a relationship. It didn’t last long cuz his ex told him that she still loves him and so on. She blew him off after that and he was all sad and stuff. It was my idea to break up since I saw how much he “still” loved her. After that I applied “The No Contact Rule” which worked like a charm cuz he contacted me in person on the 6 or 7th day, don’t remember actually but it was rather quick. We still didn’t talk but during my Senior year we “kinda” became friends again. He hooked up with his ex and pretty much me and friends knew that she was cheating on him and they would definitely break up again which actually did happen after I graduated.
   During my Senior year, me and our close friends did notice that he still had “feelings” or something for me cuz he would get easily jealous, even sometimes give me “nice” complements here and there. It was kinda weird and flattering at the same time.
   It’s been a whole summer and about 2 months since we talked at all (for the break up, it’s about a year and 3-4 months I think). So the thing was, I was picking up my friend who’s a senior now in that same University and I bumped into him. Actually he saw me and came up to say hi and ask what am I doing here. But that was about it cuz soon after he left. It was kinda weird since he was the one to make the first step…out blue.
   So many question is, he came up because he was curious or was it because he “really” wanted to talk but chickened out right after?
   If he still “does” has feelings for me, is it possible to get him back because I still think that he isn’t over his ex yet.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   October 20, 2016 at 4:41 pm

   Hi Awai,

   he’s more likely just curious.. if he’s not over his ex yet, then it’s better to stay away from him..

2. 

   Allison

   September 5, 2016 at 10:36 pm

   So the other day you gave me advice to read how to get my ex back after a yr or so apart. Well I started reading it and than when it gets to the really good part it says it cont. at the bottom of the page. But when you go to the bottom of the page there is nothing. I can’t seem to get to the rest of the advice. Is this because i need to buy something? I may be blonde but I’m usually pretty smart. Lol can you please help me?

1. 

   Allison Ramirez

   September 6, 2016 at 8:12 pm

   Is says “Some guys are really shy and won’t ask you out on a date even though they really want to. It is up to you to gauge the situation and figure out if the signs are there that your ex still wants you back. In the case that your ex doesn’t ask you out on a date I recommend calling and asking for one. I explain in detail how to do this at the bottom of this page.” But there is nothing at the bottom of the page? And if I click on the highlighted part (this page) it takes me to a different page that doesn’t make sense 🙁 He is shy and I’m not sure if I should ask him or give him space? He has only been single for about a month. We have been flirting a little but i’m not sure if he is even interested? I would love to read the rest of the advise just cant find it. Thanks

2. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   September 7, 2016 at 10:40 am

   yes, the link will take you to the article on how to get your exboyfriend back and then you can use the tactics there too attract him back.
   So, you’re question actually is how to build rapport when the guy is shy?

   You said he’s been single for a month but how long have you really been talking? Are you building up rapport or you’re taking it too fast?

3. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   September 6, 2016 at 5:41 pm

   lol! Blonde or not, you’re smart. Ok, wait. You clicked the link “this page” and then it took you to the how to get your exboyfriend back article right?
   Because I’m not sure if there’s something that the article didn’t answer or your internet connection cannot load the whole page.

3. 

   Sophie

   September 3, 2016 at 8:50 am

   I haven’t spoken to my ex for over 8 months. He’s contacted me several times via social media and text messages asking for forgiveness and wanting to be friends (I’m sure he means friends with benefits). I never responded because I felt that if he really wanted to work on it he’d have to step up, say it clearly and not just send messages (we broke up before and he also used messages. Unfortunately, he never did more than the simple “i miss u” messages and I’m starting to feel like I lost him. I do want him back, my I need him to have some courage because I’m still hurt by what he did before we broke up. He hasn’t contacted me for a month now. What do you think I should do? Me initiating contact doesn’t feel good at all as I still think he should do the work 🙁

1. 

   Sophie

   September 5, 2016 at 1:24 pm

   Thank you for the response! The thing is, we broke up because his mother doesn’t approve of me and it caused a lot of pressure on our relationship and led to many fights.

   I am active on social media but when we broke up I unfriended and unfollowed him everywhere on social media so he can’t really see anything (yet, he messages me several times via social media asking me to talk to him). As for looks and working on myself, I’ve always taken care of my looks and body and this never changed; he’s always found me very attractive. I have however worked on myself in terms of being more accepting and patient…which obviously is a process.

   I guess what I’m hoping he’d do is be courageous enough to take a stance and try hard. Yes, he’s been trying for 8 months but only via msgs. I’m sure he’s even doing it behind his mother’s back and pretending to be over me in front of everyone else. I don’t want to give in and talk to him without seeing that he has the courage to go after what he wants. So I don’t know what else to do besides wait 🙁 I hope you have ideas to help me 🙁

2. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   September 6, 2016 at 1:45 pm

   Oh okay.. how old are you both? That’s very good that you have improved. If you want him to do the work, of course that’s ok. But for me the best you can do is to be your best self and to give him good memories, have fun moments and basically make him want more and then don’t commit until you know that he can fight for you. Don’t give too much that he will be satisfied with the way things are, he has to want more of it to the point that he will really stand up for you.

3. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   September 4, 2016 at 3:26 pm

   Hi Sophie,

   correct ne if I’m wrong. What you want is for him to literally say he wants you back right?

   Ok, even if you havent talked to him for 8 months, you havent tried improving yourself, changing routines, changing your looks and being active in social media right? Try that for the next 30 days, let’s see if he messages you after this month

4. 

   Justice

   September 3, 2016 at 8:03 am

   Hi My ex and I lasted a year. We had a son but he left me when I was 6 months pregnant. He came back after the baby was born but nothing offical. We acted like we were together but werent. We both hurt each other. Id text him so much mean stuff and started talking to other guys because hr flirted on social media but he would check my phone and later confront me. We did sleep together basically livef together and worked together. Then I found out he was talking to an ex coworker dating her while we were still being physical. He told me he wasnt emtionally there for me and didnt want to be with me. But he lied and said he was using a guys car with his guy friend till I found out it was a girl. Now we dont talk unless we fight. He hasnt seen our baby. I know we had problems but I was suppose to marry this man at one point and love him dearly. Please help because Ive been annoying him constantly

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   September 4, 2016 at 11:13 am

   Hi Justice,

   read this one: Get Your Boyfriend Back If You Have A Child Together

5. 

   Kate

   July 24, 2016 at 3:10 am

   Hi,

   My ex and I broke up a year ago and I have been in NC for since the day of the break up. He doesn’t know what’s going on in my life nor do I his as we do not have mutual friends. Recently, I very stupidly (I know there are the unlucky few who have also been there too), accidently followed him on instagram! The embarrassment was just painful haha. Didn’t know whether to laugh or cry!

   I thought I’d play it cool and just leave it as unfollowing him would just look weird. He followed me back straight away. I’m not sure whether he has been in relationships since or if he’s dating etc. To be quite honest, I was busy working on myself to check up on him.

   Today, he liked my picture from several months ago. I haven’t liked any of his and I’ve just kept my cool. Been uploading pictures of me living my life and having fun as I normally would.

   I’m not entirely sure what this means….what should I do? Continue to play it cool and see if he messages me? I’m a very stubborn person so I’m reluctant to contact firsy and as I followed him, albeit accidently – I think i technically did make the first move.

   Just for the record, he broke up with me and I resisted the breakup. I went nc from that day but he said that in the future he wanted to be friends however made no attempt to contact me.

   Thanks
   K

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   July 26, 2016 at 5:58 pm

   Hi kate,

   if you’re really not comfortable, it’s better not to contact him, because it will reflect in your texts

6. 

   yulissa

   July 11, 2016 at 7:17 am

   hey umm so im 14 and me and my ex been broken up for a year and some months and me and him still keep contact like a lot , like we even hang out ….. one time he stopped talking to me for awhile and i texted him saying why he told me it was because he only wanted to be friends and i told him that i respected hes decision and that i wanted to be friends , so me and were friends for awhile when he asked me if i could help him on how to get a girl and i told him sure which turned out with him and me being friends with benefits i dont know how but it just happened , one day i was walking home and he ran up to me and told me that he’ll walk me there and the whole there he just staring at me like he loved me or something idk ( we we’re still broken up by the way ) and i kept asking him why he kept staring at me like that and he said like what so i ignored it , ok so now to present day … he has a girlfriend but he still tells me that he loves me and that he really cares about me but he has a girlfriend and one day he asked me how i felt with him going out with someone and i told him i felt fine but he like told me to be serious with and so i did and i told him that why go back out with her ( they broke up once and got back together) when i still have loads of feelings for you and he knows it to and he replied with its cuz im saving you for later in life and i was confused so he explained it to me saying that when i move and whenever he becomes a professional soccer player he would go to where ever i am and that he would take me with him and that we would spend the rest of our lives together and thats why he wont get back with me but like he says he loves and all of that and i dont know what to do if i should believe him or not so i need your help to help me decide if i should believe him or not and what i should do .

1. 

   EBR TEAM MEMBER: AMOR

   July 12, 2016 at 8:41 pm

   i never slept with him cause im only 14 so i dont know where you got that from and thanks ill try the nc for 45

2. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   July 13, 2016 at 3:53 pm

   oh sorry! friends with benefits commonly means sex without commitment

3. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   July 12, 2016 at 11:33 am

   Hi Yulissa,

   nope..he just knows what you want you want to hear…do active nc..you should do 45 days and don’t sleep with him again

7. 

   Julie

   July 5, 2016 at 4:36 pm

   My boyfriend of 2 years and I recently broke up, 3 weeks we were looking at apartments because, or so it seemed, that we were both very excited to be moving in together. Then the week after we looked at apartments he broke up with me, on a whim… the night before we even had a date night, he told me I looked beautiful, etc. fast forward a week later, he broke up with me.. he said he had doubts about moving in together and he needed “some space” “time to think”… fast forward another week later he invited me over for the weekend, we had a great time, and he was treating me like I was his girlfriend still. Things turned ugly by the end of the weekend and I saw on his phone that while we were looking at apartments he was calling another girl “cutie” “let’s go to the beach when I head back home in August”. I was hurt, and I did a very wrong thing, out of anger, by invading his privacy and texting the girl on his phone. He found out, and we got into a huge argument and he said that our friendship was over for good, that I am just another ex girlfriend, that he never truly loved me, etc. He did finally admit that he was at fault for cheating on me and he should have told me that he wanted to break up. He said that there were days where he thought we were perfect for each other and days where I felt like a stranger. Since this is as of recent, I want to be friends with him one day, when we both aren’t full of anger. but I’m not sure how long I should wait? I’m not sure if he said all those hurtful things because he was very angry with me? because throughout our dating we did talk about living together, having children, getting married, etc. but then he said he never truly loved me. Im hurt and I know he is hurt too.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   July 6, 2016 at 8:18 am

   Hi julie,

   do 30 days of nc to heal first and so that you can be more rational

8. 

   Anon1

   July 2, 2016 at 10:46 am

   I was with a guy for 4/5 years and we were very serious.. Spoke about a family, weddings, looked at houses. We had the best relationship. Yes we argued but always made up. When we met I was 17 and he was 18. But during his school time, there was a girl who was always around him, even after they left school she was always there. He told me they kissed but nothing more happened, I wasn’t pleased but it was in his past so i let it not bother me. So we had these amazing times together but she’d always be in the background telling him to break up with me and shed find him someone else, and at this point she was getting married. She’s already been out with my boyfriends friend and they split but my guy and her kept in touch. She then got engaged and invited us to the wedding but I wasnt invited as my name, I was invited as “… And guest”
   It made me mad but the reason behind it was because she thought we would have broke up by the time the wedding came around, which we didnt.
   I’d never met this girl, and after some of the things she said and did, I didn’t want to meet her.
   So fast-forward until recently, she was married 7 months then left him, got with my guy in June 2014 (we’d ended in the march/april time) I found it very difficult and still do now, I’m not over it but I’ve used this time to make myself better, I’ve now got an amazing career and I’m living very happily and healthy – also my looks and style have completely changed too, so I’m alot more confident.. 🙂
   She used to post alot of stuff on social media but for about a year it’s very rare and she posted about a baby.. I’ve kept in touch with his sister as we got on so well and she didn’t mention anything, I spoke to him after his grandad died and he didn’t tell me himself, like wouldn’t he be excited?
   So today, I found out that she is pregnant and its due very soon but I have abit of panic for him. This girl isn’t nice, she lied about something very serious and alleged one if his friends of 21 years had hurt her, however there was no evidence against him. But he stuck by her, and all if his friends have left him, he told mebl that him self, he told me all his friends had gone, and he had no-one.. I was heartbroken to know he wasn’t okay as I do love him but I also understand I can’t do anything because I don’t wantbto interfere. My fear is that she’s taken him away from his friends, their having a baby and hell have no-one, from what I’ve heard she’s very controlling. I just feel that as an outsider, there’s no love there. I know it’s tricky as I was so involved at a time but I don’t know what my next move can be.
   Thank you for your help, I don’t know where to go from here. X

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   July 4, 2016 at 1:44 pm

   Hi Anon1,

   let him be.. first, you’re not his mom.2nd, he’s an adult.. if he decided to stay let him be responsible for the consequences.. Because the truth is, he has to learn.. let’s say he’ll get tired of her then miss you..but they have a child, with her attitude, he has to learn first how to deal with her himself or you’ll end up being 2nd priority

9. 

   philipe

   June 30, 2016 at 12:32 am

   Hello,

   It’s been a Year and 3 months since me and my GF broke up, and since then we havent really talked to eachother, the last time we talked was 5-6 months ago, i have tried multiple times, i sent simple texts like asking how shes doing etc but nothing, and i havent tried to talk to her for a while now, is not that i dont think about her anymore or miss her anymore, because i do, i still love her, but i just havent tried because i think it will be just like the other times, i wont get any reply ,so i just dont do it, so what do you think i should do to talk to her? should i try again? and if so whats the best way of doing it?

1. 

   philipe

   July 7, 2016 at 9:19 am

   ok thanks, i asked if it was a good idea because ive been doing nc for a long time now, i havent talked to her or texted her in 2 months or so..

2. 

   philipe

   July 5, 2016 at 2:52 pm

   do you think its a good idea to try to send her a friend request on social media?

3. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   July 6, 2016 at 7:45 am

   nope.. not during nc
   you can do that after

4. 

   philipe

   July 1, 2016 at 11:30 pm

   yes im on social media, but not friends with her, although ive made my profile public so she can check it, and i have moved on and i think i show it and ive improved, but i dont know if she sees it or knows it, we dont talk, she doesnt reply..difficult to know, idk what should i do to talk to her, since has been a year i even though about send a friend request or something and see if she accepts, but i didnt yet because not sure its a good idea.

5. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   July 1, 2016 at 11:31 am

   HI Philipe,

   first are you social media friends now and have you been active in it? Have you improved yourself? If she ever checks it, would she think you have moved on and improved yourself?

10. 

    Deajana

    June 26, 2016 at 9:23 pm

    Hello! 🙂
    It’s very nice of you to help people like this! I also need your help badly! 🙂 Me and my ex broke up a year and a half ago. I must state that we loved each other truly and deeply. We had plans about the future, we were very committed to each other and would give anything for our time together! But we also had some disagreements about the place in which we would live when we get married about some views of the world etc… Nevertheless I did not mind much about these disagreements but he did. The main reason for our breakup was that I was not ready to accept to live in his hometown with his parents when we get married, and sometimes said some offensive words about that, which really hurt him. I was also often obsessive and jealous. So it was my fault. Since I realized all I tried to contact him but he never answered any of my sms, after some time and a lot of messages he even blocked my number, he blocked me on facebook too, thus making it impossible for me to contact him, since we live far from each other. Then I went to his hometown and arranged the meeting (I managed to make him believe that I was a business client in order to make him appear), so when he appeared and saw it was me and not the client he was angry, he told me that he is happy now that he has a new girlfriend and soon will get engaged and even married. But I know him really well and I know that he said some words in anger and not meant them really. After that I texted him a couple of times, but again no answer. Nevertheless, something tells me I should not give up. I am convinced that we can be extremely happy together again, since I realized my mistakes, matured a lot, and would do the impossible now just to make him happy. But here comes your role. Can you help me by advising me how to even make him contact me, or answer my messages, how to make him listen to me, to give me another chance at least for a talk? Is there some wise strategy? PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAASEEEEEEEEEEE help me! 🙂

1. 

   Deajana

   July 1, 2016 at 12:46 pm

   Thanks very much for the support!!

2. 

   Deajana

   June 29, 2016 at 10:01 pm

   OK, thanks very much for the suggestion! He probably does, unfortunately, but all I want is to show him that I regret everything, and want to make things better since he is the only guy I ever truly loved! But what after those 45 days, what would be the next step?

3. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   July 1, 2016 at 11:09 am

   you should initiate contact but continue the activities you started during nc.

4. 

   Deajana

   June 28, 2016 at 8:54 pm

   Hi, thanks for the reply! My last attempt at contact was a couple of days ago but again unsuccessful, I texted him but he did not reply. What do you think is the solution?

5. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   June 29, 2016 at 3:00 pm

   you’ve been trying to get him back for a year and a half? start active no contact..I think it may take longer than 45 days.. because if you’ve chased him that long, all he thinks about right now is that you’re obsessed with him

6. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   June 28, 2016 at 1:49 pm

   Hi Deajana,

   when was your last attempt of contact?

11. 

    AC

    June 23, 2016 at 3:54 pm

    Hi,
    I have an “ex” and I put that in quotations because we never crossed the bf/gf title. We were attached at the hip for three months straight over 5000 mins on phone calls etc. We have a great deal in common and got along extremely well until his “she’s just a friend” girls started becoming more and more a part of our scene. This happened a little while after I asked where we were going at the end of month three. He gave me the response that he wasn’t ready for a gf even though we had pretty much been playing that role. So I obviously tried to stick it out and we were off and on with what I call his “randoms” in between. It seemed to me he always chose other women over me. I still however would end up back at his place after months sometimes 6 months of not seeing or speaking to each other. This went on for 3 years. This latest episode was in Dec 2015 I hadn’t slept with him or spoken with him since the year before. I drunk text at 4am and he text back at 8 am asking if I was alright and boom we picked right back up with calling each other I asked him to accompany me to a family wedding he said yes. No sex though. Now I was aware that he had been seeing other people I had to but once I found out he supposedly had a girlfriend I asked him. He said “yeah, well I am working on it. getting too old to be with randoms. How about you? boyfriend? Potential?” I was floored I explained to him after all he put me through now…NOW he wants a gf? he claimed he thought I had moved on after all I had been through back then…and that we hadn’t talked so he didn’t know I still had feeings etc. And I came to the realization and told him that if I was the woman he wanted that with he would have sought me out or never let me leave. Cause he claimed I was always the one to put distance between us when we would fall out. Of course I would especially when you have sex with me but turn around the next two days and go on a date with another chick. A heart can only take so much rejection. So this was all in our mid to late 20’s he is now about to be 30 in a few days. Mind you yes the L word was exchanged between him and I and he stated at that time that “I scared him” I see that he has had a split with the girl or basically been putting her through what he put me through except she met the family as far as I am aware I never did anywho they are on the rocks off and on he stopped following her on IG but still follows her on fb even liked one of her photos from the other day. I have always continued to think about him I haven’t spoken with him since Dec 2015. I am wondering was she the actual rebound from me? Do I reach out to him for his birthday? I always felt we were the perfect fit for one another and it hasn’t worked for me with anyone since him and I see it hasn’t really worked for him with anyone either. What do I do? *Sorry so long just need advice and I am on a time limit to initiate a meaningful contact out of the blue*

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   June 28, 2016 at 5:38 am

   Hi Ac,

   I think he saw her as a gigs case coz you were friends with benefits.. it’s ok to reach out at his bday but you have to appear as an ungettable girl to him by being active in your life.

12. 

    Kitty

    May 10, 2016 at 7:38 pm

    Hello, just want to see if this really falls into this category. I just wanna know.
    See, there was this guy that I stopped seeing a month ago. We were just “dating” and didn’t get to call each other boyfriend/girlfriend. He decided that we should stop dating because I was too clingy but then I found out later on that he already had a girlfriend and that they broke up when he met me because they were in an open relationship but then got back with her because he doesn’t see us compatible. He still wanted to see me even without having getting under the sheets and all but I still couldn’t because I had feelings for him and I told him I have to stop seeing him. He said he didn’t want to because if he wanted to then he would’ve stopped seeing me already. But I insisted and he said it hurt him a lot and blocked me on Facebook so that I won’t get tempted to unblock him and message him. So he did. I haven’t contacted him for a month now even though I really miss him and although he said I can contact him again in many ways.
    Now my question is, do you think even though if I do all of these steps, will he still miss me? Even though he already has a girlfriend? I want you guys to be honest, because after all, he didn’t want me to cut contact, I just forced him to, he even cried. Hope you can answer soon. Thanks!

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   May 15, 2016 at 12:24 am

   Hi Kitty,

   move on from him.. if he can do that to his girlfriend,he would probably do it to you too..

13. 

    Linda

    March 30, 2016 at 9:59 pm

    Hi!

    So me and my ex broke up 14 months ago. I broke up with him, we were together for three years, from 17-20 years old.
    We never fought and our relationship was perfect. I guess I got bored towards the end and I felt like i wasn’t IN love with him even though I loved him.

    Since then we’ve been in contact, we slept together couple of times afterwards and we even traveled a bit around Asia together last year. I’ve been dating other people and so has he although he admits I’m the only one he could ever picture having babies with. About 7 months ago I got into another relationship, which hurt him deeply. (I thought he had moved on but his reaction showed otherwise). It was a long-distance one so it wasn’t really serious and I broke it off about a month ago.

    Last December I found out that my ex (the one that I was with for three years) has another girl, also long distance.
    She’s been visiting him two times and he’s visited her as well. They keep fighting a lot because we still stay in touch but it seems to be pretty serious between them and he seems to really like her.
    He changed his cover photo to a picture of them together and she’s even considering moving over here this summer.
    Although he says that he’s not ready to move in with her, she would find an apartment on her own.
    Their situation seems kinda hopeless as well since they don’t seem to have any real LDR -end solution which I know Chris talks about and is important,

    When I meet him there’s always this chemistry between us and I think I made a huge mistake.
    I really want him back but I don’t know what to do.

    I know you would recommend the No Contact Rule which I will probably implement but it would feel a little bit weird with so much time having passed.

    I think what’s best for me now is to wait it out and work on myself, see what happens.
    But I just wanted another person opinion as well.

    I’ve bought the Ex boyfriend recovery pro but i don’t feel like it covers this topic well enough.

    Thank you so much ! 🙂

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   April 3, 2016 at 9:20 am

   Hi Linda,

   Yes you need to wait it out and continue being present while not being too forward.

14. 

    Shaz

    March 11, 2016 at 5:51 am

    Hello,
    So 6 years ago (when I was 18) I got into my second ever relationship with Sam (who was 20). It lasted 2 and a half years and we were engaged in the last few weeks of the relationship. During the relationship we formed a really close bond and hardly ever had a dispute. One of the things that brought us so close together was my first LSD trip. He had done it once before with friends but it was my first time! I felt like he had shown me a whole new universe and we connected on a spiritual level. We tripped together a couple of times more after that and one time was when we decided to get engaged! That we were meant for each other.. He used to call me the one! The yin to his yang! Except for that last time… The last time we tripped I became distant and revealed mid trip that I had kissed someone at a festival a few months earlier.. I felt so guilty about it that my subconcius just couldn’t keep it inside. In order to move on with our lives I had to come clean. He cried and then i asked if he needed to come clean about anything and he revealed that he had cheated on me for a few months at the start of our relationship! I was furious.. How could he keep it in all that time.. when I couldn’t? How could he ask me to marry him? I broke it off with him immediatly without thinking about the commitment I had previousy agreed to and what it truly meant! Bottom line is that I should have forgiven him but by the time I realised it, 2 months had went by and he had already started seeing a a new 17 year old girl.
    We were in Uni together and went on a camping trip where we ended up sleeping together which carried on afterwards for a couple of month whilst he was still in his newly formed relationship. I came to realise what I was doing and asked him not to use me like that, then it stopped! I would see him now and again because of mutual friends but he started creating nasty rumours about me and i’m not sure why. Anyway an oppertunity arose where I auditioned for a different uni based in London around 400 miles away.. so I took it! I didn’t want to go though.. I wanted him and he knew.. he said he wanted me to but kept making excuses for his new girlfriend.. Deep down I think he just didn’t want to ruin my opportunities so I went on good terms.
    Then a few months after moving I became severley depressed over what happened and could not wish the same upon anyone so I messaged his girlfriend and told her about him cheating on her with me.. I told her to forgive him because he needs someone to forgive him.. and she did. They are still together. However he was so angry at me that he’s blocked me and we haven’t spoken since.
    I am nearing the end of my degree and have had a 1 year relationship during that time which was very abusive both physically and mentally which finally ended a few month ago.. even though I get e-mails from the guy every freaking day!
    I never stopped thinking about Sam the whole time.. I even cheated on my abusive relationship as I didn’t see it to be serious in comparison to what I had with Sam. I have tripped now 9 times and every time I remember the first time… I remember the promise I made and feel like the world will be destroyed if I do not keep that promise.. I use it to fuel my creative career and try to help the world in other ways just to take my mind off how much I need him.. This overall is a good thing for everyone but I don’t think I will ever be able to love a person truly unless it is with Sam!
    I don’t know what to do! Do I ask how he’s doing or will he be angry incase his girlfriend sees the message? Do I leave it and hope that I become sucsessful enough for him to recognise me again one day? I want to make a move before he ends up getting her pregnant.. I’m not into breaking up families.. He asked my sister how I was about 6 months ago and said he missed me.. Why can’t he tell me that? I’m really scared of being rejected by him or not getting any response at all. Maybe if we start talking then in 3 month’s time when I finish uni I could move closer to home again but I would only do it for him. I’m so confused.. I have changed since he last saw me.. I’m prettier and so much more interesting.. do you think I have another chance?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   March 11, 2016 at 12:09 pm

   Hi Shaz,

   when did you tell his girlfriend aboit the affair and when did you last talked?

15. 

    B.

    February 24, 2016 at 1:34 pm

    Hi, my boyfriend of 2 and a half years broke up with me two weeks ago. I did not mention the reason, but I can imagine it being that I will move in another country for my MA in a matter of months and he broke up 2 days before I went visit the Universities. The night before we broke up he came to my place, he was quite normal, we even had sex. I noticed a change since 6 months or so and I think he was just not able to find the right moment to tell me he did non want to continue this relationship. He tried to break up on New Year’s Eve too, but then I cried and he decided not to. Now, this time I decide not to do anything, I am tired of begging and crying. I know I am not an easy person to be with, I have a lot of problems with my family and he was the one with whom I always talked. I think this might be another reason he broke up, he is not used to all this “drama”. His family is basically perfect, their parents love him, he has a sister and a niece who love him to, he never suffered and he never talks about any personal problem because he says he doesn’t have any (which I hardly believe though). Anyways I had an amazing relationship with his family, they liked me and helped me a lot and we had a very similar lifestyle in terms of health, food and some beliefs. They even tried to call me when he told them we broke up, then they sent a message saying they just wanted to say goodbye and if I wanted I could call them. I would like to apply these rules to make him jelaus, but I don’t really have any friends to go to places like clubs etc in order to take pictures that could make him jelaus. I know it is a difficult situation, I don’t know how to act. At start I thought I would be free of doing what without attachments, so I did not really suffer much. But since I came back for these last months until graduation I cannot think about anything else, I cannot study for my last exam and my thesis. I feel like I lost the biggest part of me and my life, we shared so many things, so many holidays, I cannot even think about the fact that he could have someone else and have that persone meet with his family. Is it too late? Is it just impossible to get back together if I still want to move for my MA? Would it be possible, if I want to come back home once I graduate from my MA to get back together or will it really be too late at that point?
    Sorry about all the questions, I don’t really know what to do.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   February 25, 2016 at 10:33 am

   Hi B,

   if that’s really the case, then there’s a chance of you could keep or restart the connection when you’ve moved… because if that’s the reason, you can’t prove to him it will work of you’re not there yet.. how many days do you have before you move?

16. 

    becca

    February 14, 2016 at 11:10 am

    My boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me 2 years ago.. we had a really good relationship and got on well with each others family. Since the breakup, I’ve kept my distance and left him to it with his new girlfriend who was recently divorced. But in January, I saw his mom and she told me his nan had passed away, so later that night I sent him a message of condolence and the reply I got was quite positive.. so I carried on the conversation and HE bought up our past, saying he hoped I’d moved on and I’m happy so I said thank you, are you happy and he just put “yeah” so I said, good I’m glad, then carried on the conversation as bit more.. all of a sudden he ended it and told me he had to go..
    But during the conversation he told me he has no friends because he got rid of them all etc.. I’m now really worried about him not having freinds, his freinds were a massive part of his life when we were together and now he has no-one.. I’ve heard alot about his new girlfriend but I’ve never met her so didn’t want to judge.. but it seems like him having no friends could be to do with her from the stories I’ve heard about her previous relationships. I’m just not too sure on what to do now, thanks in advance, becca x

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   February 15, 2016 at 10:29 am

   Hi Becca,

   It’s nice that you still care for him after a couple of years.. But if he says he’s happy, you shouldn’t worry yourself about him anymore.. If he really wanted to have them as friends he’s mature enough to know whether to keep them or not.. You can be his friend if you want and if he wants.. but the truth is, it’s his life..

   let’s say you have the power to help him get his friends back but it is still his responsibility to nurture that relationship..

17. 

    Lee

    February 12, 2016 at 1:16 am

    I have anxiety, so i’m not sure how to talk to him. I broke up with this guy about 2 years ago on an impulse, we were really good together; inseperable. then we had a little fight, and I don’t even know. we go to the same school, So I have a chance to talk to him. It’s always been akwardness around him at school, and he still kind of avoids me. We accidently make eye contact sometimes. does any of this mean anything?
    My anxiety always seems to get the better of me, when I even think about trying to talk to him, so how can I get him back, or tell him I love him when I can’t even do something this simple. Is there anything else I should try?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   February 12, 2016 at 2:59 pm

   Hi lee,

   that means you have to work out your anxiety issues first. Find a therapist or heal by loving yourself first and doing things that make you happy apart from hin

18. 

    vince

    January 25, 2016 at 7:31 pm

    After a year of no contact, I got an email out of the blue almost just like the one in the second to last pic on this article from my ex girlfriend who broke up with me a year and a half ago. It said, “I think of you often. I would like to cultivate our friendship again if it wouldn’t “disrupt anything.” (we were friends through grade school, before the relationship). What does this mean, and what should I say back?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   January 26, 2016 at 10:41 am

   Hi Vince,

   It means she misses you and hopes you don’t have a girlfriend and she wants to be friends with you again. If you want to be friends and rekindle the relationship, take this opportunity!

19. 

    HotLilTeacher

    December 22, 2015 at 6:24 am

    Well I’m really confused then. We broke up 2 years ago. Without fail, he contacts me every 4 months or so and wants to discuss “our relationship” We talk about memories, how his daughter still remembers me, why we didn’t work out. Every 4 months for 2 years. Even when. He was in a relationship he did this. And then he drops off. This time he tells me he is talking to someone (2 dates or so). He invites me to his house to talk but I said no because he is seeing someone. I feel like he is stringing me along. I’m angry. Is this normal behavior?

20. 

    Amber

    October 12, 2015 at 7:39 pm

    Hi chris

    Basically me and my ex broke up 3 years ago, don’t really want to go into it but it didn’t end very well. We where bestfriends in school and it grew into something more, we where always very close.

    For the first year when we broke up we didn’t talk at all, but for about 2 years we’ve been speaking on and off, he has been the one who has mainly randomly been popping up and speaking to me, anyway in February time this year he contacted me out of the blue saying that he still loved me and wanted me back, this didn’t happen as he didn’t stick to his word, we met up a couple of times but it was very awkward for most of it so we decided to leave it but i still want him back.

    A couple of days ago i decided to get back in contact with him and we had a really good convocation but then he ended the convocation and we haven’t had a good convocation since, today i decided to send him a Facebook message basically saying did he want to try again what we talked about in February time but i really wish i didn’t send it because i didn’t get a response and looked desperate again :/

    I’ve read through what you’ve put and only just found this page after i sent that message to him, I really want him back but i honestly think i’ve screwed things up with him, i don’t want to be a Sarah! (i read the Sarah and Kia page/ emails) but i really need help, would be fantastic to hear from you if you could help me

    Amber