How To Get Him Back After A Year (Or More) Apart- Ex Boyfriend Recovery

494 thoughts on “Getting Him Back After A Year (Or More) Apart”

Jamie

September 21, 2015 at 4:47 am

Hello. So my boyfriend and I broke up about a year ago. Then on the same day that we broke up a year later he came over to my friends house- because I was over there. Then a few days later my friend was having a party and at 3:30a.m. she texted him and asked him to come over, and so he did. We sat in his car and talked then he started to kiss me and it ended up with us hooking up. Then he dropped me off. It was two weeks before he actually talked to me again. Yesterday he came over again- because I was staying at that girls house again. We went for a drive and talked, he started to kiss me. He called me heavy and too ugly for him still. I do not know what to do. I want my ex boyfriend back but he will never ever talk to me. He uses me (I feel) and won’t talk to me after that. Everyone is telling me to move on but I have been single for a year waiting for him because he is the one, I can feel it. I turn every guy down just for him (and the respect of myself) because I know he is the one. How do I get him to just talk to me so we can start off as friends. and Why do guys have sex with someone and not talk to them after? I am mentally exhausted of trying to fight for him back for a year and now even more exhausted trying to figure out why he is using me? Someone please help me.
Megan

August 30, 2015 at 1:45 pm

Hi Chris,

I’ve been broken up with my ex for around 3/4 years.
We were very on/off & the crunch came when he moved in with a friend (we were off at the time) & he was quite non committal. I kind of got fed up of waiting around. Without an argument I changed my number.
I’m not one of these clingy, over-emotional girls but I’ve never really gotten over him.
I’d really like to contact him but am of course massively apprehensive.
I’d appreciate your help.

Love from London!
Thanks

Megan

September 1, 2015 at 10:05 pm

So I emailed him with a reminder of an inside joke we had, I saw something on TV & thought of him & hoped he was well. I kept it pretty chill.
It’s been over 24hrs & nothing. Feel kinda vunerable having ‘put myself out there’ a little but also relieved that I did it.

Ricki

July 18, 2015 at 3:36 am

Hi Chris

Me and my husband have been separated for almost two years, in the first year he didn’t speak to me at all except for see our daughter. I reached out almost begging for him to come back home to try to make things work I had hit rock bottom cutting off friends and family, then finally I excepted our fate that things were over, I went out started living life and found a friend to occupy my time as o started thinking about divorce. Once my husband found out about my friend he turned me into the “bad guy” and that’s why we couldn’t work things out, but slowly started to come back around but I had to cut my new friend completely off which I did because I still want our marriage to work, this was in January of 2015 now we have been getting closer seeing each other more he even bought me a new wedding set of rings for himself and me but only wears his ring when we outlet together at times. He still hasn’t moved back in and when I talk to him about he gets irritated. I feel like the only reason is because my friend came over and sat on the couch because he’s told me before get rid of the couches, but unfortunately I’m not in any place to buy new furniture… He continues to come back home to hang out but only sits in kitchen or bed room. I don’t know what to do I’m beginning to feel like friends with benefits and all I want for him is to come back home it will be two years not living together in September I can not continue to live like this, but can not talk to him about it because I don’t want to push him away. Please help o don’t know what to do
Tia

June 25, 2015 at 4:14 am

Hi, Chris
i broke up with my ex 4 years ago impulsively because i felt like he wanted to be with and an ex. I didn’t see any text however we were hugging and he stopped to say hello to her. I do feel like it was a good call but i never spoke it over with him and I’ve always felt like that was the wrong move. After the break up we did speak but after a month we did not talk for 2 years. in that 2nd year i had reached out and asked how things were going and his response was positive, we actually were able to get a very bit of little closure. I contacted him again he ignored me and all the attempts , he finally responded and was irate he told me he’d never want me again. I have not spoke to him since April of 2013 but seeing this post made me wonder if there is any chance. Thanks, Tia
Suria

June 23, 2015 at 8:40 pm

On off with ex for 25 years since 1990. At first we were together as a couple for 4 years and were serious and I messed up was young naive only eighteen, had trust issues and things got really bad in the end don’t want to go into detail but even had a court injunction against him.
4 years later he contacted me kept calling and calling in 1998 but I didn’t speak to him until 1999. So we met a few times and then eventually I slept with him and it became a friend with benefits situation until I found out that he got married in 2001 and was still married so I confronted him and he admitted it and said that she had found out about me and he maybe getting divorced.
I ended it after 8 years but he still wanted to stay friends but I tried for a few day’s to be friends but couldn’t handle it. Things were ended on bad terms but a month later I got a call it was a new number but I had a feeling that it was him. I was busy at the time and didn’t get round to calling that number when I eventually did a month later he picked up and was very distant and kept denying that he had called so the conversation was very brief and ended quickly. A moment later my phone rang, I thought that it was him so got all excited but it was a womans voice and she was angry and telling me not to call as they are engaged and he does not want anything to do with me, I kept saying to her that it was him that called me but she wouldn’t belief me.
He contacted me now after 6 years on Facebook and we messaged and talked on the phone a few times he seemed to be really concerned with how I was doing and if I was with anyone at first, we even arranged to meet at one point this February but I had to cancel due to health reasons. We carried on contacting each other and the conversations later became sexual and he insisted that we could have a friends with benefits situation but then became distant when a health issue with me came up. I asked him if everything was ok and he said he had too much going on and was balancing life, at this time I knew that he had started a new job so we were still friends on Facebook but he insisted that it should only be platonic so I agreed with him. Previously during one of our conversations I suggested that we could go to an outdoor cinema this August as it was a film that we mutually liked but nothing was planned in concrete. I had noticed that he was making plans with other women on Facebook but not with me so I got angry with him and said and did things to upset him. He then deleted me from Facebook, I panicked and called that evening he eventually picked up and I apologized so we agreed that we were still friends. That morning I was angry still so sent him an angry message but, which I then later regretted. I came across your website and tried the NC rule until his birthday when I sent a birthday message with no reply back from him I sent sorry mementos saying how bad I felt. He replied back on Friday saying what happened happened but that he didn’t want to be contacted as he had a lot on. I again got angry with him and on the Sunday said that I will not take disrespect from him. He replied back annoyed saying that he was sorry that he had contacted me and forgave me but wants to be friends and nothing more and needed space. I replied back saying that he should reflect on why he kept coming back and that being friends was enough for me although I would really like to give it a try and start fresh with him as I am older now and know were we went wrong and he is the only one I have been with.
I would please really like your professional opinion do you think that there is hope and should I contact him or wait for him to contact me?
Shelby

June 9, 2015 at 9:12 am

Hi Chris! Thanks for making such a helpful website. This upcoming Saturday I will be seeing my ex after about 5 years of being broken up. I haven’t seen him since 2010 and haven’t spoken to him since around that time (give or take 3 months after the break up). I would say we ended things on neutral-bad terms and I broke up with him since the relationship was fizzling out and I was moving to another city. He didn’t want to break up and one of my close friends who is also friends with him told me that for a few months after the break up he was still into me and hadn’t moved on. Since then he’s been with other people and I have too, and right now he actually has a girlfriend. I think they’ve been together for about 4 months. Anyway, as I mentioned i’ll be seeing him at a party on Saturday night, and I’m so nervous! I don’t know what he’s like now and what his interests are. I don’t know if he’ll be happy to see me or act like a jerk? I would love to get to know him again and maybe work towards starting a relationship. At the party, would you recommend my approaching him, or do you think I should let him come talk to me? If we do start talking, should I apologize for being rude to him after our break up? Should I ask for his number? Is it too forward to ask to see him again after since he has a girlfriend?

Thanks in advance,
Shelby
Rene

May 28, 2015 at 2:09 am

Hey so this is my story and i hope you can help! 🙂 So my ex and i had been best friends for two years and throughout those years there were feelings there but we didnt really move on them until last summer. He’s shy with relationships so i had to work a lot to get to where we were, which i thought was worth it. Well he and i only lasted a little more than a month but our relationship was great until the last week of it. He started ignoring me and i didnt know why and people began to tell me he was planning on breaking up with me and talking bad about me. Well i had already been going through a tough time family wise so when i heard this i thought it’d be best to break it off first so i wouldn’t get as hurt. He really fought for the relationship and i believed him when he told me his reasons and that he hadn’t talked bad about me, but i had reached the point to where i just thought it was for the best to end it. I did and right after i wished i didn’t. But it’s been a year since we’ve talked, we go to the same school. Ridiculous i know but he’s stubborn and I’m terrified he hates me. But i am dying to have him back by my side, although I’d prefer another chance with him it would be okay if we were just friends. I know I’ve really hurt him and i plan to text him this summer but i need your opinion. I plan to start out small like you said but i was wondering if its a bad idea to bring up the past and my reasons for breaking it off. I don’t want to just say negative things but how i do miss him and i wish i had talked to him rather than listening to others and how i had been struggling with other things at the time and this is a big reason for me being stupid. Breaking up with him was the worst thing ive ever done, he’s the greatest guy I’ve ever met and i just dont know what to do. Thank you
katy

May 18, 2015 at 12:20 pm

Hey,
I DON’T KNOW WHICH TOPICS I CAN USE IF I HAVE TO START A LOT OF CONVERSATIOS. We’ve been apart for 1 and a half years now, and i contacted him every now and then so that he won’t forget me. He doesn’t seem interested at all, but I want to talk more with him. The problem is I can’t think of massages. I don’t want to annoy him or be to obvious. I just want him back in my live.
Do you have some tips apart from the steps you describe when you talk about priming.
Thx
Bonni

May 4, 2015 at 11:48 pm

I dated a guy who I’ve known for years, from my hometown, he waited years to ask me out and always wanted to be with me. We started dating in March of last year very slowly and then I had broken up with him in October (7 MOs) because I was talking to another guy and I got confused of his feelings for me. He was very shy and not expressive of his feelings towards me. I ended it very much on impulse. Ever since I ended things with him I have regretted it and only want to get back together. He will still talk to me, we agreed to be friend…. if I text or call him but he is extremely passive and distance. He never initiates the phone calls or text , only I do. I am really nervous to tell him how I feel. I saw him in person this past March because my family does his taxes. He smiled and winked at me like it was old times. He has asked me once over the phone to get something to eat and he’ll say give me a call or I’ll call you back later. He NEVER follows up on what he says, he’s very flaky now. I just want to talk to him in person and tell him exactly how I feel. I need your advice/ help what to do. Should I NC for a couple months and then reach out to him again. I just think it was the biggest mistake ever that I broke up with him and I feel like Ive made mistakes too. Hold a lot of guilt. Do you think I could still get back with him?
Thank you, Bonni
Bonni

May 4, 2015 at 11:25 pm

I dated a guy who I’ve known for years, from my hometown, he waited years to ask me out and always wanted to be with me. We started dating in March of last year very slowly and then I had broken up with him in October (7 MOs) because I was talking to another guy and I got confused of his feelings for me. He was very shy and not expressive of his feelings towards me. I ended it very much on impulse. Ever since I ended things with him I have regretted it and only want to get back together. He will still talk to me, we agreed to be friend…. if I text or call him but he is extremely passive and distance. He never initiates the phone calls or text , only I do. I am really nervous to tell him how I feel. I saw him in person this past March because my family does his taxes. He smiled and winked at me like it was old times. He has asked me once over the phone to get something to eat and he’ll say give me a call or I’ll call you back later. He NEVER follows up on what he says, he’s very flaky now. I just want to talk to him in person and tell him exactly how I feel. I need your advice/ help what to do. Should I NC for a couple months and then reach out to him again. I just think it was the biggest mistake ever that I broke up with him and I feel like Ive made mistakes too. Hold a lot of guilt. Do you think I could still get back with him?
Thank you, Bonni
JC

May 2, 2015 at 1:05 am

Is there hope after 1.5 years of chasing?

I finally get the reasons for nc, and giving him space. but is it too late.

He broke up, after 6 years together. We are cordial, but when I text him to reach out, he responds with a “I dont know what we will talk about, but you can call anytime.” 🙁
Lulu

April 8, 2015 at 5:12 am

Hey Chris
I was just wondering me and my ex have stayed in contact over a year we’ve even going for meals spent time together etc since we split he’s in the military and we’ve stayed in touch whilst he’s away by email….he’s constantly giving me mixed signals saying he loves me and has strong feelings for me but we werent working out due to arguments of jealousy he tells me he’ll be jealous if I move on but yet the says I should move on its confusing and I feel whilst I’m in contact with him it’s playing with my head what would be the best course of action here granted I have told him how I feel about him on numerous occasions I feel like he has the control at the moment when we’re in contact I get snide remarks however about going on dates etc as soon as he says it I find myself telling him how I feel about him and how I’m not interested in that. how do I better this situation?
Camilla

April 4, 2015 at 1:42 pm

Hey chris
I have read your advices the last year and a half. And im very greatful that you let us in that kind of knowledge.
Here is my story : my ex wanted a break in may 2013 and in august 2013 i decided to move out because he was totally ignorering me. We have noe children together. 6 month after the break up he got a new girlfriend and she moved in with him very quick. I did the no contact , i didnt contact him beside when it was because of our child. Then in september 2014 my child didnt want to go to his fathers place because of the new girlfriend. The new girlfriend was treating my son terribly. I contacted him and told him what my son has told me and he broke up with the girl. He became nicer to me and brought me some gift. ( that wasnt really a gift , but something he saw i needed ) than after christmas he got back together with the girl. Then he stopped beeing Nice and just ignored me again but he still smiles everytime i meet him when he pick up his son . I get the feeling that he tried to get back to me in the time when he was broke up with the girl but i didnt saw the signs. Now i have made an apointment with him to meet next week. He agreed , my question is now is it wise to tell him that i still care for him and that i would love to try again ?
Peridot

March 31, 2015 at 12:38 pm

Hi
My ex boyfriend and I dated for 3 years, we broke up at the end of 2011.About six months later he started dating again .I was single for almost 2 years after the break up.We were each others first real everything,so I think I was deeply hurt.We broke up partially because of the distance,he had moved away for work and I was still at home unemployed.Also we were very young(21) and I think I did not know how to handle everything and I put alot of pressure on him,which I have deeply regretted for many years.
Last year he got engaged to the girl he started dating just after he broke up with me.When I heard this,I knew it was the real end.Even though I had a boyfriend at the time ,there was a sadness in me because I knew that it was over,for good.I knew there was no point in having any hope .
Over the years we have fought , I was just so angry with him but in 2014 I had decided to try and be civil with him and we were.
Then in December their engagement was called off. I never contacted him even after I heard this.We work in the same field,so about 2 months ago I needed some help and he was the only person I knew who could help me.I contacted him.It was pleasant and civil and he was very helpful.
We have been instant messaging for the past two months almost every single day but when I try to arrange a meeting ,it just never happens.
He has indicated that he just wants to be friends ,I just don’t know if I can be friends ,I want more… I just don’t know what to do next.I cannot ask to meet again ,as I do not want to come across as desperate but I don’t know if he will ever ask me … We live in different cities but we are in each others cities every now and then.
I am lost. I would really appreciate any advice as to the next step I could take… I don’t want to pressure him into anything though and I don’t want to be the rebound either.We have been separated for 3 years but when we talk it feels like we never left …
Lacey

March 31, 2015 at 2:14 am

Hi can you please help me my hearts broken I was with my ex for two years he was military has it’s we broke up on and off cuz he couldn’t deal with it I always supported him. Well we broke last year in the summer so it’s been a year of being apart I have stayed in contact with him trying to see him trying to talk to him but he’s very withdrawn he would ask if I was seeing anyone and when I told him yes when I really wasn’t he said he was heart broken cuz he caused it he still sends me texts that we should get married I’m beautiful etc even up to a week ago well out of nowhere yesterday I felt like a ton of bricks hit me a girl tagged him on fb saying in a relationship my heart hurts so bad he didn’t even ever mention he was talking to anyone what do I do and why was he still saying that stuff to me if he’s been talking to this girl is this all from his it’s or what do I still continue our friendship I’ve struggled with it for a year not wanting to just be friends with him but thought it may help him and didn’t oressure him into dating again …. Please any advise I’m so sad I feel like we were meant to be we talked about marriage having kids moving in etc and it’s like he forgot all that and now he’s with someone else and I bave trouble even saying hi to another guy because I still love him …. Please help me shoukd I just realize it’s over or is their hope thank you
Lacey
Lacey

Peridot

April 1, 2015 at 9:46 am

You should consider talking to him and find out whats really going on.Either way finding some sort of closure is extremely important for you to move forward…
Lacey

April 4, 2015 at 6:27 pm

Thank u I appreciate it yea I’m so confused by all of it he sends texts that r so cute then the next minute he ignores me now he’s with another girl and my heart hurts
admin

March 31, 2015 at 10:32 pm

There is hope but remember this website is perfect for women no matter what. Even if things don’t go well this website will be here to help.
Lacey

March 31, 2015 at 11:49 pm

Thank you what do u recommend should I do no contact or should I stay in contact with him even tho he has a gf
admin

April 2, 2015 at 11:22 pm

Do NC for a little but make sure you get back in touch after that.
Lacey

April 4, 2015 at 10:24 am

Thank you do you think a month or less than that?

Elle

March 14, 2015 at 9:44 pm

My ex and I dated for four years. We started dating in high school and broke up after our sophomore year of college. We went to different schools that were about five hours away and it was always hard for me to go and visit him because I’m an athlete for my school so could never really leave. We didn’t ever really fight about anything other than missing each other and getting mad about when we could see each other and who would go visit who. After our freshmen year he tried breaking up with me because he said he was sad all the time because he missed me way too much and it was hard being with me but not physically being with me. When he did this I got upset and he ended up saying that he was just scared because it’s been so hard and he doesn’t actually not want to be without me. When we went back to school for our sophomore year everything was pretty good and breaking up was never brought up again. His birthday happened right after sophomore year and he was going to stay at school for the summer so a bunch of us went to his school for his birthday. Also I should mention that I had planned to come live with him and train with the coach at his school for the second half of summer so that we could be together at least for a little. He really liked this idea but in hindsight I should have known because he freaked out a little and said he wasn’t sure he wanted me living with him, so I told him I’d make other arrangements to stay with another guy friend that lives there. He said he wanted me to stay with him after that but not if I didn’t want to after all of that. His drinking has always kind of been out of hand especially when he his with his buddies from school. He was so drunk on his birthday and a couple of things happened that I was not happy about. After his birthday his friends had told him that he was pretty disrespectful towards me. He called me when he found out what he had done crying and I told him that I hate being with him when he’s drunk and something would have to change because I couldn’t do it much longer. He started crying begging me not to break up with him and that he promised he would be better just to give him until the end of the week because he had to do something first. Three days after this conversation he called me breaking up with me. The night before he broke up with me I was drunk with my friends arguing with him about why he couldn’t come home for my brothers graduation party and that I missed him. He told me he had to go with his fraternity to a baseball game and that’s why. I was upset because I felt like i always came second to his fraternity. When he broke up with me I basically lost all my dignity in that conversation begging him not to break up with me. He said it was unrealistic to be together anymore. Later that day he texted a mutual friend to see if I was doing fine. He texted that friend for a few days seeing if I was okay until finally our friend said that if he wanted to know he would have to ask me. Four days after he broke up with me he texted me asking if I was doing aright and that he was sorry the timing was so bad. A few days later I called him to tell him that I had all of his stuff and his birthday present because I really didn’t want his stuff anymore. He kept asking if I hated him but I told him I didn’t. He said he would be in town in a few days and he would meet up with me. When he was in town he never called or texted to meet up so I ended up texting him to meet up. We arranged a time but he says his phone died and he went to the baseball game with his friends so he wanted to meet up today. I told him what time I got off work and wanted to meet up but he never answered. When I got off work i texted him that I was done and were we still on because I had plans. He never answered. I called him thirty minutes later to see what was up. He picked up the phone and said “oh yeah I probably should have told you but I already left town I just had to get back and made up some lame excuse”. I was really pissed and upset so I ended up texting him that I didn’t deserve all this shit he was putting me through and to be cut out after everything with basically no explanation. He never answered until the next morning when was at work just saying “Elle I’m in columbia”. I ended up sending him a letter just about just all of my feelings in this. A week after sending the letter he texted me and said I’m not trying to cut you out of my life I just need space. I never answered. Later that day he texted me that he was coming in town and wanted to meet up. I didn’t answer so he face booked the exact same message to me. I thought about it for a day and agreed to meet up with him. He tried giving me the runaround about meeting because the meeting he was coming in town for was cancelled. I said this was his deal and that if he wanted to see me he can make it happen but to not contact me until he figures out what he wants. He ended up driving four hours to come have dinner with me and nothing got accomplished other than he wanted to still be friends because I mean a lot to him. We tried being friends for two weeks after that but it was too hard for me. I did NC for a month after that and heard nothing from him. Before I did NC we had a fight. I texted him just seeing how he was doing he was really into the conversation but I cut it short. I wasn’t expecting hearing from him but the next day he texted me saying that he saw something that reminded me of him. We talked on and off for a little. I still went to Columbia to train because I had made prior commitments with that coach but I stayed with another friend.I didn’t tell him I was there. After a month of being there I told him I had been there for awhile and was seeing if he wanted to meet up. He said he did and wanted to get dinner. We got dinner and ice cream and it felt like a date. Nothing happened and it wasn’t awkward at all. The next week was my last there and I told him that and wanted to see if he wanted to meet up sometime before I left because we probably would’t see each other for awhile. He said he definitely did and called me to get lunch one day. We got lunch for thirty minutes and he dropped me back off. A little later I texted him saying it was good seeing him and I wished we got to see each other a little longer. He said next time would be longer. Summer was basically over now and I decided that when I moved back to school in the fall I would really try and move on. When I moved back we didn’t speak for like three weeks and out of the blue he texted me seeing how everything was going. We talked a little I always cut it a little short. He started initiating the conversations but we still were not talking that much. Maybe once every other week. Then in November he began texting me everyday and we started talking like we used to before we broke up. I began having issues with my sport and told him about it because he knew my past history with the sport. Finally we get to Thanksgiving still texting a lot so I asked if he wanted to hangout and we hung out but he wouldnt come in my house (he was very close with my family) we ended up sitting in hs car in my driveway just talking for a few hours. Any time a family member would walk past the car he got really excited and wanted to talk to them. When we were talking he told me he was happy I leaned on him with everything that was happening with me. I asked to see him one more time over Thanksgiving because I wanted to see what was going on with us. He told me he knew this talk was going to happen sooner or later. He told me after we broke up he drank a lot because that was the only way he could not think about me. He said he’s trying to clean up his drinking and that he missed me a lot but he made a decision and feels like he has to stick with it even though its not really what he wants. He said he still felt the same way about me. I started crying because it was what I had wanted to hear for so long but the situation was just so shitty. He just kept hugging me but that was all. We went back to school and I wasn’t hearing from him as much but i was still hearing from him.
I figured he was stressed out with finals. As it got closer to winter break we began talking more. I turned 21 over break and invited him to my party but he didn’t come. I told him I wanted to see him over break so we made a time to hang out. He hadn’t been in my house since we dated so I thought he was just going to pick me up but he asked if he could come inside. My whole family was over for a function and he said it was fine he still wanted to come inside. We ended up watching a movie but he was kind of acting toward me the way he used to. We were kind of cuddling but not as much. While we were hanging out his best friend texted me to come out but I said I was with my ex. I knew they were together earlier that day. His best friend texted me back saying “………. no way”. I didn’t think anything about it though. After that my ex texted me seeing if i wanted to take my dog to the park one day. When we did he was acting like my boyfriend. We barely saw each other that day because he had to do stuff with his parents. I wanted to see what was up after we talked at thanksgiving but didn’t get the chance so when he dropped me off I told him to text me when he was free because I wanted to talk about something. He never texted later so I just texted him and he was like pushing me to tell him what I wanted to talk about. I just told him that I missed him and wanted to see him one last time before I left and see whats up after thanksgiving. After I said that he was pretty honest and said he had plans for tonight and he had to talk to his parents about failing a class but he would see me before I left. He texted me that night saying that he was leaving the bars and wanted to see if he could come over to talk. It was pretty early in the night so I didn’t think he would be drunk. He came over and wasn’t drunk so I thought it would be fine to talk about what I wanted. We went to my room to talk and I told him how i felt about him. He told me he thinks about me every day and knows he wants to be together. He reiterated that he feels like he has to stick with his decision because of his friends talking. He also said that if we were in the same town there would be no doubt and we would definitely still be together and that if the circumstances are right again he hopes we would get back together. When we were talking he held my hand and asked if it was okay and I said yes. Then he kissed me and asked it that was okay and I said yes. We ended up sleeping together but before it happened I made him promise like four times that he wouldn’t because a jerk and stop talking to me. He said come on you know I’m not like that I promise he then joked promise you won’t be a jerk and stop talking to me because some girls are like that. I felt good about my decision. After he left he texted me not to worry he wouldn’t be a jerk and stop talking to me. The morning after it happened his best friend called me and said I heard you hung out with him last night wink wink. I texted you no way the other night because he said he needed to stop talking to you. His best friend went on to say that my ex had said something along the lines of with a heavy heart I need to tell you I slept with Elle. And that he went on to tell his best friend that he never gets laid so having sex with me really needed to happen and that he realizes now that he’s done this he can’t hurt me again and that wasnt his intention and that basically his life is a mess right now. We talked a lot still not as much as I wanted. I don’t know if it was me making up stuff in my head because of what happened but it had felt like something changed. I asked if he had said all of that stuff so I would seep with him he told me no and that I listen to my roommates too much (he didn’t know his best friend had told me all of those thing). He seemed genuine when he said those things so I thought it was bro talk because I know how stubborn he is and that it was probably a pride thing. I knew he was going on a ski trip with his buddies so I just thought it was that. I came bad home two weeks later and he was still home so I asked if he wanted to hang out and he said yeah. When we were hanging out everything was normal we were joking around and talking about what we wanted in our lives for the future (no relationship talk though). We kissed a lot but that was as far as anything. I went back t school and he began texting me a lot for a few days. Then all of the sudden when he went back to school it was like he fell off the face of the earth. We talked maybe two or three more times in January. I called his best friend, who is also like a brother to me, because I was upset and he basically told me that my ex still liked me but he probably couldn’t give me anything until he was good and ready. I was crying on the phone and his best friend ended up texting him that he should talk to me because I was upset. My ex went on to say that my communication was terrible because he didn’t know i was feeling like this and that he needed to be more honest and effective with his communication (about what, I don’t know). He told his best friend that he was going to call me tomorrow but he wasn’t dealing with it tonight. I didn’t hear from him all day and had a feeling he wasn’t going to call me. I sent him a long text at the end of the day just basically calling him on all of his shit. The tone wasn’t mean or threatening but it did shed light on things he probably thought I didn’t know about and explained why i was upset. I don’t regret saying what I did I think I needed to stand up for myself and the things I said needed to be said. He never answered that text and its been almost two months. I haven’t tried talking to him. In the first month I changed my profile picture to me and a guy friend to see if I could get some kind of reaction (immature I know but I was desperate). Nothing happened. I changed it back to just me. He had always talked about changing his name when he went to school because he thought people would take him more seriously. Last week he changed his name to that more sophisticated name and subconsciously I think I knew he was trying to start over and get his shit together. I was sad because I just thought he was trying to move on without me. Right before I went bed I was looking at his profile and locked my phone. I woke up at 4:30 and unlocked my phone and it said we were still friends. I got up at 6:30 and unlocked my phone and somewhere between 4:30 and 6:30 he had unfriended me. Since it happened at such a weird time I figured he was drunk and sad because he had kept my brothers and cousin. A few days later i blocked him because I was sad and didn’t want to even be tempted to look at his profile. I haven’t opened up about anything to any of our mutual friends because I think things get really messed up when other people get involved and I want him to wonder about. I saw his best friend last weekend and it seemed like he was fishing for my ex because he was bringing him up every chance he got. I didn’t react to any of it or give him any indication of what was going on. I did say that I deleted all of my social media apps but didn’t tell him its because I didn’t want to see anything of my ex because I’m trying to protect myself. I did say that I deleted snapchat because i didn’t want to see this girls mystories anymore but not because my ex was in a lot of them. I thought it was too coincidental because the morning I said that the this particular girl texted me about something from high school and I haven’t talked to this girl in months. I wasn’t planning on talking to him until summer but I don’t know. I’m still so in love with him and its almost been a year since we’ve broken up. I know I deserve so much better but I can’t help how I’m feeling. Do you have any advice to try and rekindle something? or do you think me and him are beyond the point of anything ever happening?

admin

March 15, 2015 at 5:16 pm

You have a shot but you really need to stick to the ideas throughout this site.

Also, did you type this all on a phone?

If so, you have my respect.
Elle

March 15, 2015 at 4:34 pm

He also re added my mom after deleting her on Facebook and just re added her and deleted her a few hours later… so weird

Elizabeth

March 14, 2015 at 7:01 pm

What does it mean if your ex tells someone “she probably hates me”. Is this a good sign? Like, he is interested and is fishing for a counter statement. (ex. “No, she doesn’t hate you!”) Or could that just mean that he feels bad but nothing more.

admin

March 15, 2015 at 5:09 pm

He probably thinks he wronged you.

Shannon

March 13, 2015 at 1:49 pm

My girlfriend (well now ex) just broke up with me after 4 years (and 3 weeks before I was going to move across the country to be with her). Granted 2 of the 4 years was long distance (first year and last year). She lived on the West Coast and I on the East Coast. We thought we’d be together forever, even got multiple tattoos (each other’s name and the date we started our relationship). She’s 4 years younger than me, I’m 29 and she’s 25. We started dating when she was 21. Now that she’s back at home and enjoying her life, she now told me she’s not ready to be tied down to anyone and that she needs to figure out her life. This isn’t the first time we’ve split, actually the 3rd. Each time saying she wasn’t ready for a relationship because she needed to figure out her life, each time I did the NC rule and a month or two later, she’d text me and we’d be back to square one. This time I really want the NC rule for much longer. I think she needs more than 2-3 months to figure out what she wants to do in life and if I’m the one she wants to have in her life forever. I do believe she is my soul mate and I want to give her this space to make sure there’s nothing out there in life she is missing. But do you think it’s possible to get back with a person you had a long distance relationship with?

admin

March 13, 2015 at 9:33 pm

You might want to check out my other site, Ex Girlfriend Recovery.

Kiley

February 21, 2015 at 9:27 am

Hi Chris,
My ex and I dated march 29th 2013 we were great every weekend I use to ask him to come spend time with me since I lived 30 minutes away and hardly gotten to see him we have known eachother since we were kids and well we broke up in may of that year I was very heartbroken but we decided to stay friends hanging out and chilling and one thing led to another in December we started hooking up we called it “hanging out” and well this went on until around April 29th 3 weeks before I moved in with him and his sister and everything was fine until he said I don’t want to date I just want to be what we are (basically friends with benifits) but I agreed just friends nothing else well then I decided well I better leave anyways and go do what I have to do to better my life so I left and moved in with my mom dated her friends son that went to jail in July found out he was a felon so u dropped him and then in August my ex who I lived with with his sister tells me he needs a place to stay sure why not I love the guy I am willing to let him stay his sister took me in and my mom and I are going to let him stay well since then I have fallen back in love with him he gives me these wonderful feelings like when we were dating he started on me (the “hanging out or hooking up”) the night he moved in ever since then we hook up sometimes and act like just friends around people so I don’t get this at all I the him I love him every day and yeah we argue like a couple but I tend to act like a child and just yell because I thought he is in love with my sister which he clearly isn’t but I mean I love him a lot I would do anything for him Vought him a PlayStation 3 and but him anything he wants when I have money when he gets money he spends some on me too but what I don’t get is I want to know how he feels yeah he says ” just friends” but why are we doing things together we haven’t done anything for about a week well almost a week I care a ton about him I want to be with him again every time i see his face I can’t help but turn red every time I hear his name I instantly look up when he enters a room (our room) I always smile when he smiles I can’t help it but smile I love this guy I really want to know how to win him back. Please help me figure this out how do I win him back I want to be more and I can’t help what my heart wants and I am having this feeling he wants to be more but sometimes I feel like its just me please let me know soon I would really appreciate this. Thanks 🙂

admin

February 22, 2015 at 4:50 pm

March 29th 2013.. Man you know the exact date.

Would you say your relationship was one sided with you being more into him than he was into you?
Kiley

February 21, 2015 at 9:31 am

Also we broke up because we both agreed to better our lives in 2013 I still need help though I really want him back.

kennie

February 20, 2015 at 3:32 am

Hi, me and my ex have been broken up for almost Two years already. I broke up with him out of anger, it was the first time we had a fight. Anyways we worked together and I quit and he got a girlfriend two months after our break up and I started going clubbing every weekend (my way of getting over the breakup) & well after a couple months of not talking he tried reaching out to me & my siblings invited him over & he came and talked with me all night, then we started hanging out but stopped because I told him I still had feelings for him and he said he wasn’t ready for a relationship so I stopped talking to him, and 5months later I messaged him out of the blue & well right now we have been hanging out, but i don’t know what he feels for me.

kennie

February 20, 2015 at 3:40 am

And him and that girl just lasted a month together, I think he went out with her to get over me. I was his first real gf.

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