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409 thoughts on “The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends”

  1. Avatar

    col

    June 18, 2014 at 8:50 am

    Hi chris
    I have been going through all your articles and followed them as best I can. This one has interested me as im thinking my ex has either had midlife crisis or its gigs. He left me and our 3kids with planned baby 4 due soon, for a girl 15yrs younger, he stayed in our home for(after I found out)2months before moving in to a flat with her and its been 2 and a half months they have lived together. we honestly had no issues I did everything for him and hardly argued. But what I am worried about is he only sees kids once a week for 4hours and when I told him I had started contractions he said I had an attitude. He also doesnt want to be at birth of new baby and hasnt phoned or txt anyone to find out if baby has been born (hes not as labour pains stopped). He is also isolated as none of his family have taken his side all on mine. How long roughly before this mess he has causwd will blow up in his face? Also he seems to be getting into debt as he is still paying mortgage for our home as well as his share of rent for the flat and everything else he has taken out a visa etc not sure if this girl is supporting him financially but think she is…..we were never in debt. Does this sound like gigs and do they come back to earth when they eventually see what they have given up?

    1. admin

      admin

      June 18, 2014 at 2:09 pm

      WOW… no offense but your ex is a total idiot.

      That’s horrible that he up and left like that.

      He is most definitely going to regret that.

    2. Avatar

      col

      June 18, 2014 at 6:12 pm

      Complete idiot……I know people might think after 3 kids I let myself go but I didnt and even being 9months pregnant ive still not let myself go, in fact people I work with most didnt even know I was pregnant till 2weeks ago. Im confused by his behaviour ive let him contact me ive not contacted him ive stayed positive. Also our house we put offer in just before he started seeing her and he still signed to buy it after I found out about them, it was our dream home…..this 25yr old also was meant to be moving to another country at end of june now she isnt going……he is a sun worshipper and liked to sit outside in garden after work now he is in a flat with no gardens etc, he also loved spending time with kids now has to be away for her after only 4hours with them……….its like he is living in a complete fantasy world…….I just would love to work out how long this fantasy infatuation gigs actually lasts before reality sets in? I dont know if I would take him back but would like to be the one to make the decision.

    3. admin

      admin

      June 20, 2014 at 7:20 pm

      And your 9 month spregnant?

      How is that possible for them not to even notice????

    4. Avatar

      col

      June 21, 2014 at 4:42 am

      Through stress I lost so much weight and bump is tiny not a good thing.
      Yesterday I was given bad news about unborn baby that hes not moving stopped growing and they are thinking about an emergency c section as its not safe. I have been left devastated…….
      What is your view on this my ex contacted me to ask me for help yesterday as he is suffering very bad hayfever (im medically qualified) and has contacted me a few times and just had basic chitchat…….when I got bad news yesterday his father phoned him his reaction “I dont want to contact her because she will get wrong idea” this isnt about me its about an unborn baby who might not survive, he still wont be at hospital he says……now surely id get wrong idea with him contacting me about helping him or other times hes contacted me? Its like he says one thing to his father but next minute he messages me? I dont get that? Is this some how him trying to save face with everyone but testing me to see if im an option? Im so confused and angry by his behaviour
      The man I knew would never be like this, right now I need him and he would prefer to stay with this silly little girl than man up aand be there for his baby………
      Im hoping for kids sakes the fact there is such a huge age gap they have moved so fast his financial worries and now pressure of whats happening with baby will end this fantasy world he lives in surely honeymoon phase has to end with all this baggage? The kids need their dad just now

  2. Avatar

    katy

    June 18, 2014 at 4:40 am

    Hi Chris.

    Thank you so much for all the work you do. I wouldn’t have survived my break up if you didn’t give me hope.

    Me an my ex were together for 10years.
    we had our ups and downs, bad towards the end.
    he and the girlfriend of our friend decide they are inlove.
    they lie to me and our friend (her ex) and lead both of us on.
    Before i started NC he was flirting with me and telling me he loves me etc.

    Just finished NC did about four weeks.
    Called him at work (he has no mobile) and all was fine. he didn’t say much, just asked if i was ok and that he misses his friend (me). I asked if we could hang out at some point and weather or not there was anything stopping that from happening. He said of course we can hang out soon and no nothing is in the way.At the end of the call he asks if he can call me and says that he loves me and always will.

    Anyway sorry for the long post.
    My question is, do you have any tips on how i could get him to want to hang out and do i have a chance of getting back with him?

    If i don’t, I at lest don’t want to loose him as a friend. I see him as family an i want whats best for him. If he believes he’s happy i can except that but i would be heart broken (even more) if he wasn’t apart of my life.

    1. admin

      admin

      June 18, 2014 at 1:54 pm

      OMG that sounds horrible….

      Honestly, I think the best thing to do is to prime him through texting.

    2. Avatar

      katy

      June 19, 2014 at 2:14 am

      He doesn’t have a mobile though. Only way to get hold of him is on the phone at work. I know it’s not ideal but I don’t think he minds.

      Should i wait a week to see if he calls me? Or should I just give him a call?

  3. Avatar

    nadine

    June 17, 2014 at 7:52 pm

    Is that person you?

    1. admin

      admin

      June 17, 2014 at 9:44 pm

      Correct!

      But you weren’t the first…

  4. Avatar

    Terence

    June 17, 2014 at 11:02 am

    Given you have such enormous insight into relationships– and all the more remarkable for being a man so young, I imagine that this “acquaintance” must be you !

    1. admin

      admin

      June 17, 2014 at 9:44 pm

      It is! Unfortunately you werent the first to guess correctly.

  5. Avatar

    Mary

    June 17, 2014 at 4:06 am

    Hey Chris I followed most of your advices and Worked really well, We met a couple of times, the lást one was pretty fun, we played pool, and we has a little Physical contact, I asked for another meet up, We agreed to take some drinks, but he blew me off with a lame excuse about not having cash, he apollogized but He did not call, I was the one who called him to confirm the “meet up” ( I guess that the soccer’s world cup has a lot to do with that excuse) Should I try to see him again? What happend there? I dont want to make fake hopes.

    thank You again 🙂

    Excuse my english.

    1. admin

      admin

      June 17, 2014 at 9:44 pm

      Do you want to see him again?

    2. Avatar

      Mary

      June 18, 2014 at 8:31 pm

      Thank You for your answer!!! I am not sure, all This work for nothing, he is no job right now, so his excuse should be true, on the other side, he should have called, man! he was a dush bag. What do u think?

      U know Chris, I think that I never had second shot With him, I guess It not worth it, but thank You for your advices.

      Hugs.

  6. Avatar

    Lindsay

    June 17, 2014 at 2:52 am

    I’m hoping that the person who found greener grass was you!

    Sure is a hopeful story for my situation, where I’m debating on blocking my ex and using NC to finally move on to what I deserve!

    1. admin

      admin

      June 17, 2014 at 9:43 pm

      It is… Unfortunately you weren’t the first person to guess correctly.

  7. Avatar

    Anonymous

    June 17, 2014 at 2:35 am

    It’s YOU!

    1. admin

      admin

      June 17, 2014 at 9:43 pm

      It is but you were a little late sorry :/

  8. Avatar

    Amy

    June 16, 2014 at 11:42 pm

    That person is you Chris! “

    1. admin

      admin

      June 17, 2014 at 9:43 pm

      Amy… YOU WIN!!!!

      message me at [email protected] to claim your prize!

    2. Avatar

      Amy

      June 18, 2014 at 1:00 am

      Omg omg omg omgggggggggggggg!!!! I sent you the email but with another email account. Thank you so much Chris!!

    3. admin

      admin

      June 18, 2014 at 1:28 pm

      Just sent you an email!

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