Six Ways To Know If You Are Close To Getting Your Ex Back- Ex Boyfriend Recovery

177 thoughts on “The Six Ways To Know If You Are Close To Getting Your Ex Back?”

Natalie

June 24, 2016 at 7:18 pm

Well I just wanted to say thank you… I absolutely had no hope for my marriage my husband had moved out and left me for another woman and I was in disbelief… He was subliminally throwing her in my face about how she was so great.

Well long story short we’ve reconciled
confused

June 24, 2016 at 12:34 pm

hi we were together for 6 months it was slow but fine he started to brush me off and then just did not reply to my message one day he did this to me early on in our relationship and i told him it wasnt cool he got better but then just slipped back and i dont want to repeat the same thing to him again so i have done the 30 days no contact he has not made any effort to contact me i am not sure what to do now do i message him or wait and hope to hear from him

no response

June 29, 2016 at 12:38 am

why no reply here…
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 29, 2016 at 4:00 pm

Hi confused,

sorry for the late reply.. hr’s ghosting you.. how old are you bith and are you in ldr?

Cara

June 22, 2016 at 12:48 am

Hi,
If my ex is texting me once a month or every other month and asks me if I’m seeing anybody or if I have a boyfriend , then asks if I’d like to go out does that mean he’s interested in coming back or just wants to see if I’m available or an option to him? He has done this to me about 3 times. Then he asks me out on doesn’t actually set up a real date. Why does he ask if I’m seeing anyone if he’s not trying to actually date me? Does it mean he might want to date me again in the future or is he stringing me along? Thanks in advance for your reply.

Cara

June 22, 2016 at 4:24 pm

Hi Amor, no I meant that he has texted me 3 times, once a month in the past 5 months asking me I’m dating anyone or if I have a boyfriend. (He essentially keeps asking me the same question. Sorry I didn’t mean to be confusing . Is this is a bad sign and does it mean he’s stringing me along and keeping me as a option? I know he was going through counseling likely due to his commitment issues, so I thought maybe that was why he kept asking.) But I’m not so sure that’s the reason. He stopped asking and has a mutual friend ask for him.
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 22, 2016 at 9:46 am

ok.. that’s good that it’s just once… Take it slow when he reconnects. So, that he’ll take you more seriously.. Continue on the activities you started nc and then slowly, slowly build rapport with him. Don’t sleep with him when he starts to initiate that during the first date.. texting first, then calls and then meet ups.

Tina

June 21, 2016 at 10:43 pm

My boyfriend just broke up with me on 4 days ago. We’ve been dating since December. When he broke things off, he told me that he didn’t feel like I cared enough about him and that he felt, in the last week or so that this was no longer a relationship but a friendship. The problem is he couldn’t be further from the truth. I told him that I was in love with him. But he says it doesn’t matter anymore, he’s made his decision. Now, what I don’t understand is that his actions just don’t seem to match at all. He has never been anything but caring and loving with me. I worry that perhaps he’s scared of a deeper commitment, and that because we were starting to leave the ‘honeymoon’ period and feel more comfortable with each other, it freaked him out. Another thing to mention – he was married and before they could even go on their honeymoon, his wife told him she’d made a mistake and that she only wanted to be his friend. Now he’s telling me that he loves me, but just as a friend, while mixing it in with constant comments about how he didn’t think I cared about him in a romantic way. I want him back, I hate to say it but desperately. We had even just planned a trip back to my home country for a two week holiday in August to visit my parents and sisters. I know that if he really truly has changed his feelings about me then I need to accept that. But it just doesn’t seem to add up. One minor complication – he’s my housemate. He moved in to the room downstairs a month before we started dating. No contact is difficult. Any advice?

Tina

June 25, 2016 at 6:53 pm

I have been trying really quite hard, but he has continued to act almost exactly as if nothing has happened – the only difference is there is no physical contact. And he still wants to come home with me this summer. I can’t think of anything else to do anymore. It’s actually breaking my heart.
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 22, 2016 at 8:59 am

Hi Tina,

You’re going to have to do limited nc.. and you have to start your own routine. So that you become less needy of him.

Mia

June 21, 2016 at 9:31 pm

Hi Amor and Chris,

This question has been eating at me since I began reading the post, but, what if he meets someone new while during this 30 day NC period? Should I give up right then and there? Or should I continue to hope for the best? I feel as though having known him in the few months that we did date that he wouldn’t move on so quickly from me (since we fell in love with each other, he being my first love, while I his first as well). But at the same time I can’t help but think like this, we had a break period from early May to last night where he sort of flatlined and told me that the romantic connection between the two of us was nonexistent and that he no longer felt love for me. He still does care about me though and did text me goodnight. I feel uncomfortable. (I’m 18 and he’s 20, we dated for 3 1/2 months)

Thank you so much! I apologize if this is a bit confusing.

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 22, 2016 at 8:14 am

Hi Mia

if you’re his first then that’s not easy to forget.. and one of the purpose of nc is to improve so that he will miss you

Lizzy

June 20, 2016 at 1:59 pm

Hi,
I’ve got a question about my situation. My ex broke up with me about 2,5 months ago. I haven’t begged for him or anything else since, but we have had friendly contact occasionally (from both sides) via whatsapp. Recently however we were quite drunk at a party and started talking about our feelings. I lied that I had a crush on someone else and that I was quite okay with everying because he told me he liked another girl we both know, but who had refused him. We agreed to be very good friends. Later that night I grew sad anyway and texted him I hated him, but apologised for being drunk the next morning. He accepted immediatly and didn’t ask for a reason.
Now I wonder, is there any way the NC would work now? Because he might just feel that I’m a very bad friend if I ignore him and forget me, I suppose.

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 21, 2016 at 8:40 pm

Hi Lizzy,

when was the last time you texted? If you want, then just tell him you need to take a time off from texting him and then you’ll reach out again once you again. We can’t guarantee that it will totally work 100% but I think you need it for a reset.

Didou

June 19, 2016 at 12:56 am

Hi! My fiancé broke up with me in September. I did all now he contact me every day late at night and he told me that he misses me and he loves me as if I’m into him. And if he was here he will hug me…. And we did video calls he says that I’m beautiful and every day I became more beautiful. he asked me if we can met when he come back home (his job in an other country) and drink coffee and have lunch. I said I have no problem. Now I don’t know what to do.

Didou

June 22, 2016 at 3:48 am

Hi
The problem is that I’m afraid he will not ask me to be officially engaged..and now every time he told me that he loves me and miss me I change the subject or I laugh like if I do not believe him…I don’t know how to act or what to say.
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 21, 2016 at 5:41 am

Hi Didou,

why? isn’t that good news? Just look your best and relax 🙂 Have fun and I think you should check this post out too:
EBR 043: How To Handle The First Date With Your Ex Boyfriend

Ivon

June 15, 2016 at 3:02 pm

Thank you for all the advice. I got through 21 days of NC before running into my Ex in town. Was friendly and looked my best. He said he missed me. I kept it short and continued with NC. Four days later I received an invitation from him and his parents to join them on their family vacation later this month with the activities being everything I had mentioned to him I wanted to do this summer. I think I am going to go for it. This is a good thing right?

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 18, 2016 at 4:47 am

HI Ivon,

yes, it is. Don’t ask for him back during the vacation. If he wants, of course that’s good.

Flora

June 13, 2016 at 7:08 am

Hi there,

I broke NC last sat night (after NC after 2 weeks with ex) when I whatsapp him in anger asking him y he cheated on me in the 1st three mths of our relationship when he could have easily walked out. and after that 3 hrs later i sent another whatsapp saying “Omg sorry tat was drunk texting hee” – surprisingly he responded saying he has been isolating himself and trying to change himself and he was sorry and he was bad and saying he was selfish and wanted to hug and love me still…i just ignored all tat and told him not to regret him decision if he did just do something so that he won’t regret his decision….and I said its up to u….u r the one who choose to break off with me and saying i’m better off with someone else…and he said it was for my own good and he felt he was stopping me from doing things which I am doing for myself now….lol then i said yup I thank him as I now finally divorcing my 2nd husband and also getting a house after that and things are good for me hee….he said he realised he not over me yet…and he needed more thing to prove that he has changed and tat he wants to concentrate on his career as he planning to buy a house in china and wants me to move over to stay with him….and i said that is if by that time we are still single….lol….anyway i think he is still confused…and we kept texting to and fro from yesterday (sunday till this morning) and I just ask him to have a great day…how do I go back to NC now? – if he replied my text later – do I just ignore and don’t reply him at all and start my Day 1 of NC for 30 days from tomorrow? Thanks

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 17, 2016 at 12:05 pm

Hi Flora,

did you restart nc?

VF

June 11, 2016 at 12:40 pm

What do you do if you and your ex were getting really close again (meeting a lot, talking all day) and then he suddenly pulls away? He’s still messaging and all but isn’t making plans to meet anymore. You give him space to let him come back on his own but something isn’t right. (Very doubtful he meet someone else)

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 16, 2016 at 10:44 pm

Hi Vf,

I think you should check this post instead Decoding The Mixed Signals From Your Ex Boyfriend

Beth

June 11, 2016 at 5:53 am

Ex boyfriend broke up with me about a week ago over something stupid. I’ll admit I was mad && upset at the time, then I found out he was trying to tell other girls lies about me so I told the girls the truth about what really happened. He deactivated his entire Facebook, he told my cousin that we was over for good, but later that night said he doesnt want a relationship but wants to talk to other people. He just got accepted into the Navy && hasn’t gone to boot camp yet. I truly love him but he doesn’t talk to me period, I don’t know what I did wrong. Please help me! Oh && he’s 21 && I’m 20.

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 16, 2016 at 10:15 pm

Hi Beth,

who are those girls he talks to? friends or flirts?

AL

June 8, 2016 at 4:08 am

I want to say a big THANK YOU to the EBR team especially Amor and Chris!!!! I got my boyfriend back 1.5 months after we broke up and we are stronger than ever! I did the 25 days no contact rule and took it slow after we started texting again. The no contact rule is really like magic and work on him super well! I am amazed of the strategy Chris wrote and also the suggestions Amor gave. I have followed every single things you guys suggested and it worked perfectly. The little tips here have made me learnt more how to be a decent girlfriend. I would definitely forward this brilliant website to those in need : ) Thank you again for saving our relationship xxx

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 15, 2016 at 10:58 am

Thank you for sharing AL 🙂

Claudia

May 30, 2016 at 5:55 pm

Hello!

I’ve greatly appreciated everything that I’ve read on this website! I’m on day 30 of no contact. The only time that I’ve had “contact” was when we passed at work (he sometimes works at my office), but I just greeted him with a lift of a hand and a smile. He responded the same way. (There was no other interaction. He was on the phone at the time.) I still haven’t heard from him, however. I’m afraid that I’ve lost my chance since most people seem to hear from their ex during the 30 days of NC. Any recommendations at this point? I’m thinking about giving it until next weekend, but I don’t know! I’m afraid to reach out and have him not respond because that’s what he was doing before I started the NC. I’ve definitely progressed in my personal recovery, and I know I can live without him, but I just don’t want to! 🙂

Chris Seiter

May 31, 2016 at 5:17 pm

I actually get this question a lot. The truth is that you haven’t lost your chance yet.

I know it seems like that since he hasn’t reached out BUT I have found that people can still get their exes back even if they didn’t reach out.

You will have to be the one to reach out to him. Why don’t you work with me or Amor on a text message?

Catherine

May 30, 2016 at 10:42 am

Hi, Amor!
I had a lunch date with my ex on my birthday. How can I get a second date with him?

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 31, 2016 at 4:02 pm

Hi Catherine,

you have to build more rapport and the second date should be with friends.

Life's complicated

May 30, 2016 at 4:46 am

Sorry left out some details, he has been texting me quite heavy for an introvert I would say its on and off for the past 2-3weeks for no reason and sometimes just to ask silly questions or even good night and giving me a miss call but the next day when I asked him he said probably he accidentally pressed his phone
Life's complicated

May 30, 2016 at 4:43 am

Dear EBR,

I have been following EBR for a few mths, already did NC and by ex and I seems to be having some progress. He kept finding excuses to message me and we finally met up on 26th May at his place because he was not well. Had an injury on his leg. We had a good time I saw him smiling and all and then he told me or rather asked me this question I found really strange. He said it would be nice if he could marry 2 women the one his mom wants him to marry and I. I jokingly rejected this idea but he told me it was only a thought. Then he explained why he decided last minute not to go home for fear that his mom would force him into marriage. His plan was to not go home. I told him to just tell his mom directly but he told me its easy to tell her just he cannot anticipate her reaction. The conversation was left hanging here as the atmosphere was tense and I did not want to push things too far. I know his an introvert and to even let me in to his personal space was something difficult and to tell me so much was more tough. The next I messaged and called just to check he was alright as he usually has this (period of remorse/guilt? after meeting up with me he would disappear a few days then come back in place or perhaps need some time alone; perhaps due to the fact his an introvert or perhaps he felt guilty to his mom as he promised her never to contact me). 30th May I decided to ask him out, but he rejected the idea and did not give any reason. He did not open the last message and left it as a delivered status. I’m quite sure he read it though. Just perhaps did not want to reply.

My question is does it make a difference to open and leave the message under seen and there’s no reply rather then just leaving it delivered and not replying? Does it mean he probably wants to reply but not so soon?

I have came this far and I would really like to know how to continue to tackle the situation. If his mom is the obstacle how should I approach him.
Lyra

May 29, 2016 at 10:38 pm

Hi Amor!
Yours and Chris’s help and insight is absolutely fantastic so far. Thank you so much! I had followed NC for 21 days. Then slowly increased texts using tide theory. Gone on a few “small” dates (we live in the same building). He asked me to hang out with his friends twice but I turned him down because I was trying to use push-pull and most of the time I had met him the day before he asked me to hang out with his friends. Nevertheless we have been texting regularly and the texts are quite positive.

My question is about sexting. I have been trying to use seduction on him. So this friday when I met him at his place in the evening (initially he invited me for dinner but I had to step out right after dinner as I had a performance) but we got back together after the performance as he wanted to have a last drink. We were flirting (tickling each other) and then he started kissing me. He did not try to initiate sex but the kissing was passionate. So I left his place after we kissed about three times. But now the issue is after those kisses he started sexting me. We used to sext each other when we were together and the sexts he sends now uses the same metaphors we used to use when we were together (we of course do not share photos etc.). Now I am confused if this is a positive sign and if I should continue sexting and use it as a seduction technique (but not actually sleep with him) or if this is too explicit (the are more explicit than the seduction texts Chris suggests) and I should give colder responses to sexts since we are not together. Is he attempting to be FwB with me in some way?

Waiting for your reply!!
Cheers
Lyra

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 31, 2016 at 12:06 pm

Hi Lyra,

don’t make it too explicit.. be a tease.. it’s a positive sign but you’re right, it might lead to being fwb with you.. so just be tease, it’s ok being coy to make him want you, but try to make him see too that you’re not giving it all because you’re not together

So Confused

May 29, 2016 at 3:35 pm

Thanks!

We’ve been out with friends once before and it was good… But I don’t think getting a group together now is possible. Would it work to to a low key, short outing with just the two of us?

So Confused

May 31, 2016 at 6:29 pm

I will do that! Thanks 🙂
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 31, 2016 at 7:44 am

try to add just one more person, so that he wouldn’t feel pressured.

DDSHINE10

May 29, 2016 at 2:19 pm

I love all the articles I have read and this one might just be my favorite. Everything has been going fine with him, he has been texting me first all the time. One of our most recent he asked me to stop by some time. I told him maybe and asked was he gonna take me to dinner or a movie. He says maybe. Trying to be funny. I responded make and said well lets shoot for next weekend and see what happens. This was last weekend. This past Monday, I asked if he had plans for this weekend. He didn’t respond back and I didn’t ask again. He then texts me on Wednesday, didn’t bring up my text and neither did I. We talked about the week so far and watched a basketball game together (over the phone, and I don’t like basketball). He reached out to me again on Friday but I missed his text so I texted him back yesterday, said hello and invited him to an outing I was going to with friends, He said he would try to come. I told him what time everything ended and he said ok. I guess this put us in the test phase. As the day went by he texted and said that he wasn’t going to be able to make it this time. Now usually, I would get mad but this time was different. See, in the past we would not have said anything and I would be wondering what the heck but I was ok simply because he let me know he wasn’t going to make and that made me feel good. I felt like now he is actually considering my feelings and I didn’t feel that before the break up. After all this though I still don’t know what’s going on. I just need a little insight and maybe advice on what to do next.

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 31, 2016 at 7:35 am

HI DDSHINE10,

very good that you didn’t get angry, he probably expects you to be.. The outing is a good chance for you to have fun and to inject a little interest in him if he doesn’t go. So, just hold on for now and continue to build attraction.

Faith

May 28, 2016 at 4:59 pm

Hello!

I love your website and I find it extremely helpful. I have a question related to my situation. My boyfriend broke up with me two weeks ago. We were in a long distance relationship for the past 9 months, since I left to do my masters abroad, and we have been together for about a year and a half overall. Now that I came back to spend the summer with him and my family, he was good for the first couple of days and then he started behaving differently, he wouldn’t ask me out for days, he would just text and exchange some interesting videos with me. I initiated that we go out for a couple of times, when we would plan what to do in the next days together, but then he would just not invite me. After his best friend told him that that’s not right, he invited me out and I started the topic by saying that i thought i would be seeing him more often this summer. We started talking and he told me how difficult the past year has been for him and that he doesn’t want to go through one more year like that (it takes 9 more months for me to graduate after the summer vacation). He also said he doesn’t feel masculine enough with me, since I’m the one giving more for the relationship, as he has financial issues and is not able to visit me. He was saying a bunch of things and he seemed very confused. He even said he didn’t know what he was doing and thinking anymore. He is an introvert who hasn’t even gone out since the breakup, and I am currently the only person he could go out with, since all of his friends are far away. But he hasn’t contacted me at all. I haven’t contacted him either, and I wouldn’t even know what to say after the no contact rule is over. I know he cares for me, but the fact that after three months I will be leaving again is unbearable for him, and that’s why he believes the easier way is to break up now that we’re not that used to being with each other after the period of long distance. I’m wondering how he is managing to handle not being in contact or not seeing me, no matter what the reason is for that, and how I can make him change his mind about our relationship. I think we should spend the summer together now that I’m hwre, and think about hard stuff at the end of that period. But he seems scared to do that amd would rather lose me now. Do you have any advice for me? Thank you

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 30, 2016 at 2:08 pm

Hi Faith,

yeah, his mindset is that why have fun now when you’re just leaving. Have you talked to hin how you should make the most of now and how would try to make it work once you leave?

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177 thoughts on “The Six Ways To Know If You Are Close To Getting Your Ex Back?”