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177 thoughts on “The Six Ways To Know If You Are Close To Getting Your Ex Back?”

  1. B

    May 28, 2016 at 1:51 pm

    Hi Amor and Chris,

    I’m trying to figure out if a particular situation is even worth trying to recover due to the length of the relationship. I dated an amazing guy for the past month (I am 30, he is 33), and things were flying along. We had the best unintentional 10 hour date ever, communicated clearly and easily, and were aligned on almost all of our major goals. We both agreed we were only interested in seeing each other after the first date, and by his account we had both the best first date he’s ever had, best sex he’s ever had, and could make anything fun just by being together. We shared our creative projects with each other (my writing, his music) and talked deeply about our ambitions and challenges- sharing these types of things is a big deal in terms of intimacy for two introverts like us. He wasn’t ready to meet my friends or anything quite yet, but that was the only sign of hesitation I got from him. We both wanted something serious and had agreed we were working up to that together and enjoying the initial stages of dating without too much pressure.

    We saw each other this past Monday and had a great time hanging out as per usual. Tuesday he was radio silence, and we talked a bit here and there over Wednesday. Thursday I got a text from him asking if he could stop in quickly to talk. I had a bad feeling right away. He comes over and says that he had to break things off because “something was missing”. He couldn’t explain it, other then he felt like we would hate each other in a year. He said there was no one else and he hadn’t felt like this when we had seen each other Monday, but his gut was telling him to break up and that continuing to see where things went between us would only lead to me getting hurt. He said he would give me a week to angrily blow up his Facebook with messages about how he was a dick etc for doing this to me, but after that he thought it would be best if we removed each other as that would be for the best. I told him I wasn’t going to be sending him angry messages but that I would respect his request to delete him (which I did as soon as he left). He offered to try being friends in a year or so, which I didn’t respond to, and then we hugged, kissed briefly, and he left. Overall it was a positive break-up, although I was very upset- no begging, no crying, no angry words. I sent him a final text when he left to say I was sad and didn’t understand why this had happened, but I had enjoyed our time together. I said I respected his decision and appreciated that he had broken up with me in person, then wished him good luck in finding the person who had that ‘something’ he was looking for and good luck with his music. After that, I initiated NC immediately (which I do in any break-up regardless of whether I want the person back or not). He replied back to my text about a day later saying he was unsure if he should be replying to it or not, but he thanked me for being understanding of his unexplainable feelings and wished me well. I left it at that and did not reply.

    Here’s my question- we were obviously together for a brief amount of time, but I can’t help but feel like he got scared by how quickly we were falling into things. We also don’t have each other on social media anymore (I respected his Facebook deletion request and he isn’t a huge social media user aside from very occasionally updating his bands Instagram account, which does follow me). I don’t have the advantage of having mutual friends in common with him. We do go to the same yoga studio and the same music shows in our relatively small city, so I suspect I will see him around. Is there a chance of using Chris’s system to try and recover this situation, or does it not work for shorter relationships? Either way, I am dedicated to NC for my own sake and already have a laundry list of things I will be focusing on for the next few months while I take a break from dating, but I have this niggling feeling in the back of my mind that this would have been a great relationship and am curious if you have any success stories for situations like this. Thoughts?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 30, 2016 at 1:43 pm

      Hi B,

      if you’re right, there’s a chance that if you keep improving and being distant he will notice that amd remember the good times you had.. since it was short and sweet, it’s like you ended during the honeymoon period.. so, it’s better if you try nc

  2. So Confused

    May 28, 2016 at 8:44 am

    Really enjoyed this article… I think it covers some topics in more detail

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 29, 2016 at 12:23 pm

      Hi So COnfused,

      hmm.. it depends on the rapport and also on the budget. If you’re going out on a group date and you’re going in a theme park, it’s better if you go out two weeks or three weeks after the first date. If you he’s positive and he can go out a week after the first then better

  3. Cecilia

    May 28, 2016 at 4:43 am

    Hi Amor,

    This is my first time to comment on the website. We have only been together for a month and we broke up almosy 3 weeks ago. I have been trying NC for a little more than a week now, but I have made some mistakes including talking in a group chat and likening his post on Facebook. The think I want to talk the most is that he thinks I am tricky now, because before NC, I have done things to trick him to come out, like trying to find excuses to see him or make him come to a meeting where they were me and my friends. Now I think he really hates me and doesn’t care at all. I can totally imagine what it is like, because when I hate a person and think s/he is tricky, all I have for him for her is contempt. Before the “tricks,” I have done pleading. But I think the main reason he hates me and avoids me is that he thinks I’m tricky and can’t believe what I say anymore. What should I do? Do you think it is possible for him to have a different view on me by just improving myself? I don’t know if I should post positive pictures on Facebook because I sincerely think he won’t give it a damn. What he sees is just a tricky girl he wants to avoid. Thank you and looking forward to your reply.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 30, 2016 at 11:36 am

      Hi Cecilia,

      you were tricky to see him? have you apologized.. if that’s the case, just a week may not do it.. he has to really see that you have moved on.. and to be honest with your short relationship and distrust it’s a slim chance and if there is, it will be after some time has passed

  4. Fred

    May 28, 2016 at 4:36 am

    Great advice. I really enjoyed every sentence. There are so many creative ideas and thoughts that you shared….and in such a fun and positive way….that I really look forward to reading more of your posts! By the way….I love that movie, “First 50 Dates” as it has such an uplifting message.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 30, 2016 at 1:10 pm

      Thanks Fred! 🙂

  5. EBR Team Member: Amor

    June 15, 2016 at 6:15 am

    Hi Patricia,

    did you continue talking to him?

  6. EBR Team Member: Amor

    June 15, 2016 at 5:37 am

    HI Ayuda,

    did you proceed to contact now?

  7. EBR Team Member: Amor

    June 15, 2016 at 4:46 am

    HI,

    I did reply, I don’t know if it’s seen or not but I’ll paste it here

    it depends on his will power and his financial capability.. if his financially able not to rely in his parents, then there’s a chance that he might not agree with the marriage but if he’s not strong enough to say no, that will be hard

  8. EBR Team Member: Amor

    June 15, 2016 at 3:54 am

    Hi Cecilia,

    it was a positive sign but his actions could be just because he saw you’re not being clingy and because you haven’t talked for two weeks

  9. EBR Team Member: Amor

    June 15, 2016 at 3:43 am

    Hi Shoegal,

    you have to change your mindset first, because if you keep thinking like something is wrong or will go wrong, you will ruin the whatever good you have now.. Focus on just taking it slow and having fun.. build rapport with him and then make everything as natural as possible. Don’t make it a big deal so that you don’t get worried.

  10. EBR Team Member: Amor

    June 12, 2016 at 6:29 am

    sorry for the late reply.. if you both love that go for it! If you have something else in mind that you know you both will enjoy then choose that. the key is just to have fun and to create good memories

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