My Ex Told Me He Loves Me (But He Still Won't Commit)- How Can I Make Him?

197 thoughts on “My Ex Boyfriend Told Me He Loves Me But Won’t Commit”

Scarlette

October 29, 2018 at 1:45 am

We were together for 5 years. I was 15 and he was 18 when we met, now he’s 24 and I’m 21. Not once did we break up during those five years. I didn’t really take him seriously in the beginning and I hurt him a lot. I was always too controlling in the relationship and I think he got fed up. I caught him talking to a woman, planning an affair, he was telling her he missed her and a bunch of other things. This broke me because we were supposed to get married in late September and this happened in the end of August. I confronted him about the messages that I found and he said he’s not happy and he doesn’t know what he wants right now. It’s been two months now since he left. We have a beautiful 8 month old little boy and he picks him up on the weekends. I miss him terribly and I want my family back. I want to start over with him and show him that I can change and that we can make it work. I love him deeply. He still tells me that he loves me but only if I say it first and he says that he misses me but he can’t be with me right now. He goes back and forth between saying that and saying that he’d rather start off on a clean slate with someone else instead of starting over with me. We still have sex with each other and he still kisses me on the forehead and things like that. He also calls me babe. I’m confused on how to move forward if I want this to work and if I want him to get back with me. Help please

Chris Seiter

October 29, 2018 at 2:45 am

Hi Scarlette!

So having 5 years is meaningful. It represents traction which can pay dividends later. I understand your confusion. He is being selfish and unfair to you. Perhaps a brief break from him could help if he continues to waffle about such an important matter.

Sofia

October 26, 2018 at 10:23 pm

Hey,

The guy that I was seeing for 8 months decided to break the relationship. He cried so much you could see that he didn’t want it but he is scared of commitment and promises also he is Muslim and I am not which makes him more afraid of the future. He said he couldn’t do something like that to his mom.He decided to break it but he still has the keys to my house he told me he wanted to keep them for a while and we talk here and there but nothing really stable around every 5 days, it’s been a month since we broke up. I wrote to him a letter to which he called me the next day to tell me he cried with it but I told him I didn’t want him to say anything about it I wanted him to sit on it a bit. I don’t know what else to do, he isn’t a person that will come back on his own. I miss him so much!

Chris Seiter

October 26, 2018 at 11:44 pm

Hi Sofia!

It might be best to come up with an ex recovery plan? Take a look at some of my books, guides, videos as I have a lot of resources that can help you!

Shania

May 14, 2018 at 2:18 am

Hi Cris so I talked to him and he said he didn’t know. I really miss him so much what else should I do. Is it to late for the no contact rule and if so how would I go about doing it knowing he’s helping me get money for a moped.

Chris Seiter

May 14, 2018 at 3:26 pm

Perhaps utilizing limited no contact would be our best course of action, Shania. But be sure to follow the ideas and tactics covered in my ebooks to get a fuller perspective of how you can optimize your chances.

Shania

May 12, 2018 at 6:03 am

Hey Cris I’m in a weird situation so me and my ex broke up 8 months ago. At first he said let’s take it slow and be friends. A few months later I tried to get him back. He said he doesn’t have feelings for me anymore. Well I opened up a little more again a few days ago he said he has a little feelings. I helped him buy a moped so we have gotten kinda closer. I was dating a guy that was pretty buff and he got jealous at least I think he did he mentioned going to the gym. He also said at first he has a new gf but then went back and said they were only casually dating. He’s made jokes about him sending me mixed signals. And when I told him I still had feelings for him after he mentioned the other girl he asked what I wanted to do. What could be going on through his mind. Do I try to talk to him or what ? Ty

Chris Seiter

May 12, 2018 at 6:24 am

Hi Shania! Getting some mixed message there, aren’t you? So he seems to have some interest, but if its really casual, be prepared for some disappointment. Now it might not go that direction, but it might be best to go real slow here to see where it leads. Maybe you tell him that and see what he says.

Angela

May 8, 2018 at 6:41 pm

My ex and I broke up March 19 (the day we were supposed to sign on an apartment together). We didn’t know each other a year at the time, but in December he asked me to break my lease and move in, so I did (we made it 3 months). I’ve lived with an ex before and he never did. I moved out (right upstairs in the same building with my sorority sister). I’ve been trying to do NC and avoiding him like the plague, but he keeps texting to small talk. I made it 17 days and he contacted again. I wait a long time to text back and kept it short and sweet. He moves into his new apartment next week and he said he will see how he feels after that. He said he still loves me, but is very stressed. I told him I understand, but I am not going to be around forever and asked him if he was okay seeing me with another man; he said no. I never begged or yelled to get him back so I thought he would come back around by now to commit! Try no contact again? I don’t know if he doesn’t feel the true loss yet because we still live so close or what?

Thank you!

Chris Seiter

May 9, 2018 at 3:14 am

Hi Angela….I think your chances are good. I do believe employing No Contact would be helpful, but give him a heads up. Let him know why your are doing it….hot to punish him…but to heal and focus on your own recovery and allow him to do the same thing. The idea is to increase your value in his eyes and drive him the point that you are not going to always be available to him. If you have not already done so, go take a look at my epic ebook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” (website menu/products section). It acts a a Breakup Companion Guide that is intended to optimize your chances. Let me know how things go Angela!

Myl

March 26, 2018 at 7:05 am

A few days ago, my LDR boyfriend and I broke up because he doesn’t feel like being committed to me anymore. It seems like he felt dissatisfied around the end of the relationship and that he felt drained by it, and in combo with long distance it is not worth it to him. When he was intoxicated, he sent me messages like “I love you baby” and “I am sorry that I’ve hurt you”, but with no intention of getting back together again. We’ve kept talking, he opened up about his personal issues, etc, and we had a fun interaction in a group chat, but at some point later he told me that all we are gonna have is an open relationship (so he can sleep around). His Hot and Cold behavior drives me crazy. Should I do No Contact now, or try to keep rebuilding trust and connection?

Chris Seiter

April 3, 2018 at 1:28 am

I think in your case I’d start NC immediately.

Sorry for the late response. We’ve had some changes to the website going on that took my attention away from answering.

Sian

March 14, 2018 at 8:50 am

Im only 17, my ex is the same age. Yesterday we started a conversation about how hes hurt me a couple of times in the past and how to move on from that. Out of fhe blue (he is the most honest psrson i know) he said he doesnt think hes ready fod a relationship, even a few minutes earlied he said that he doesnt wanna break up with me because theres no reason to, that he loves me and is happy being with me and sees me in his future. Of coufse i was completely shockrd, we were both in my bed after two weeks of not seeing eachother because of illness and he was holding me hand and when started crying he hugged me and stroked my hair and said he loves me. When i tried to kiss him he kissed me back. To me, we’ve been together for six months, its both our first relationship, we have so much in common and all our friends, even my parents who he’s close to say how well matched we are. He has said to me how im the first person to care and make him feel loved, he is for me too. Him saying ‘he doesnt think hes ready for a relationship’ was so out of the blue…the way he has interacted with me hasnt changed and i know him, i know if hes being dishonest which is very rare. When he got home last night, we started messaging and i was really upset, so was he but i needed to understand why this has happened so i’ll put some of the conversation here
Me: “i just dont want this to be true. I wish i never made us talk today about things that have happened, its all irrelevant now. Im just focused on us and how to fix this..i dont want this to be the end and correct me if im wrong but i dont think you do too..”
Him: I do still love you. we have both grown so much and really well. You said you want to fix and the fixing i think will just take time”
Me: “in hopes of rekindling and getting back together…”
Him: “yes”
Me: i dont want this to be the end of us but you need to figure out your demons
Him: I think there is still a chance of being together, and yes I need to find my demons
There was other stuff here about him not knowing what he wants but saying he still loves, still feels exacly the same
Me: I know i keep coming back to love but that’s the one thing we share, am i right? Can we keep that love alive?
Him: We can
Me: Is there anything you dont want me to do when we’re around eachother…?
Him: not that i can think of, just trust your instinct. Things should be pretty much the same
Other stuff happened and then we called to figure out how things are gonna work and generally i see that he wants time to figure himself out but wants to keep me close and keep me informed and even involve me…he promised me that this isnt my fault and there is a chance of us getting back together because he still loves me..the commitment thing i think is because we’re so well suited that he thinks he needs to figure himself out before he commits seriously which we both thought thats what was happening. He said hes been taking me for granted and he has hurt me, so i think he figuring out why hes not ready and why hes hurt me…but i honestly do believe him in saying he still loves me and nothings changed. I asked him if we still can call at night and if i can still say i love you and he said yes he woud like that..he said he doesnt know what he wants, a relationship with me or not but i cant lose him and i do want to be with him but i need help with how to communicate and act around him now we have broken up. He doesnt want us to tell friends and remove pictures or anything and he did say things are gonna be pretty much the same but i dont know that when we meet i should hug him of miss him, should we still spend the same amount of time together? Am i best letting him go…its just so bizzare and random that this has happened, he said he doesnt know why yet and five munutes before he broke up with me he was saying he doesnt want to. Please help me figure out what to do and how to communicate with him, i dont want to come across and needy and bombard him with questions anymore, we’re meeting on either thursday or tuesday and its wednesday today and i dont know how to go about talking about this stuff…i really do love him and i know he loves me and i want this to work out

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 15, 2018 at 3:29 pm

Hi Sian,

Start the nc rule, do at least 30 days and check this one:
The Friend Zone: What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Just Wants To Be Friends

Megan

February 22, 2018 at 6:51 am

My ex-boyfriend and I broke up a little over a week ago. It was rather harsh and out of the blue (he texted me after an argument). I gave him space for a few days before reaching out to admit my blame in the breakup. We talked through everything civilly but he said he didn’t know if it would ever work. However, he did not want to hang up the phone and went on to say that half of him wanted to get back together, half of him didn’t, and maybe he needed some time. We have been talking for 4 days now through text and FaceTime. The conversations have been overall positive. I am reading his book suggestions to better myself and he took my suggestions as well. He said he currently felt “indifferent” which concerned me, but he admitted he suppresses his feelings. The texting is mostly casual, but our phone calls have gotten deep. Last night he sent me a video about how each person needs to be happy in a relationship by themselves, and then when they are together they are a happy couple. He also has not removed his relationship or changed his profile picture on Facebook. He has not told his family, as I still chat with them everyday. He also talks to my family still. Overall, I think signs are positive (except for the “indifferent” comment). My questions: how do I show him he should be all in as opposed to half in? Do you think these signs are positive towards getting back together? Is there something I can do to help him feel emotionally supported so he can un-suppress his feelings? I don’t want to push… Also, any tips on how to rebuild trust? Should I be worried by casual texts?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 26, 2018 at 2:57 pm

Hi Megan,

If you already talked on what you can work but he doesn’t want to get back together, that means you have to start nc.. Keeping on talking to him will more likely make you friendzoned

Rachelle

February 19, 2018 at 3:43 pm

Me and my ex bf broke up just before the holidays, my reactions are usually late as it sinks in on me over time. We still hung out like we used to and called each other names like we still used to but i got bothered by the fact that he emphasizes our being “just friends”. He tells me that he loves me and we both love each other. He told me that by separating we can fix ourselves first. It is clear that his priority is to build his career and all that. So one night i called him and told him that i wanted a real relationship because its unfair to me to think that we are still together when were not . He kind of summarized it down as we needed space apart from each other. To me i get hurt just by the fact thinking that he might fall for someone else so i had to tell him i dont want to see him. Today he is about to pick up his stuff from my apartment and probably our last hang out. But i feel so deeply in love with him that i have to let him go like this. I of course want him back as the relationship has been perfect all this time. I just dont know what to do in a couple of days/weeks/months/years after this thinking that i still love him. Help me out please?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 21, 2018 at 12:08 pm

Hi Rachelle,

do you want to try the nc rule?

Amanda

January 26, 2018 at 1:15 am

Hi
So my bf and I broke up a couple months ago. It was a amicable breakup and the sole reason was times as we are in college and he doesn’t want the commitment nothing else was ever wrong as a matter of fact it was perfect. We stayed friends and he constantly tell me how much he still loves me. Recently, we started talking about us again and how he says I’m the one for him and he wants to spend the rest of his life with me etc etc BUT he still doesn’t want to commit now. I told him that he’s gonna lose me because I’m not gonna be around in 2 years when college is over and he’s finally ready. I don’t know what to do because I truly truly knows he loves me and I love him too much to let him go over him being a dumb selfish college boy. I just want to knock sense into him but I don’t know what to say to him anymore. Please help me thank you

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 29, 2018 at 11:34 am

Hi Amanda,

stop saying, start doing it.. Because no matter what you say, if you’re still there, you’re still there.. Nobody’s going to believe you if you say one thing and do another..

Erin

January 16, 2018 at 8:11 pm

When I met my now ex online he told me he was just looking for friends and wanted to establish his business before getting into a relationship. Once we hung out for the first time we clicked. We hung out frequently for months and we both realized we were getting attached even though he had not planned to. We wound up enexpectadly getting pregnant. He truly stepped up to the plate and was so excited about it. I have a 2 year old son and he made effort to get close to him . We ended up losing the baby and we were both very upset. He even made comments about trying again. He had told me he loved me a handful of times throughout our relationship . He started working a lot and making less time for me … blaming tiredness and feeling depressed. We kinda broke up without exactly saying the words. We never fought. Always got along wonderfully .. always had fun. Great connection so it was hard to understand what happened.

We were broken up about a month and he would randomly text me pointless things. Or he would see me on a dating site and message me. I would ignore for the most part since I fought so hard for us upon breaking up.

Last week he kept asking to see me. I denied it. Over the weekend he randomly called me wanting to hang out. I told him I was going downtown – he was too. He blew up my phone all night wanting me to tell him where I was. I finally gave in. He sat me down at the bar and cried to me about how much he loves me.. and misses me.. and how badly he wanted that baby with me…. he had a nightmare about me being on a date and he woke up in a panic and couldn’t get it out of his head…

Long story short, we cried together and went home together. The next morning he was saying how much he wanted me and us and “I didn’t realize what I had until I lost you” he was telling me he loved me over and over… he said he knew he had to change. He invited me over for dinner that night. Things were just how they used to be. Affectionate, flirtatious, natural…he insisted on deleting his dating app in front of me. Amazing weekend.

Fast forward to following morning… he literally changed his mind about everything. “I’m not ready to jump back into it so fast” “I’m staying single” “you should date other people”

But insists he didn’t lie about everything he said to me.

What the hell happened?!?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 18, 2018 at 7:04 am

Hi Erin,
I think it’s really what he said.. it was too fast.

Sasha

December 24, 2017 at 4:25 pm

My ex and I have been split for ten months. It’s been messy,especially as kids are concerned, oh and the woman he cheated with. I have literally gone NC for nine months,and only discuss anything to do with our children. Last weekend he bared all. Told me he loved me still, missed me, wakes up and wonders what the hell happened…oh and lies saying he didn’t cheat! Why even bother telling me now. He must know there’s not a cat in hells chance I’d take him back. The sad part is I do love him,and that infuriates me….how could I ever take him back after so much hurt?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 26, 2017 at 8:02 pm

Don’t.. If one of your kids is in the same situation, what would you advise?

Angela

December 14, 2017 at 9:47 am

Hi Amor

It’s been 2 months since I broke up with my ex boyfriend. I did all the wrong things, agreed to be friends, did the friends with benefits thing (which has now stopped) and I begged him to take me back. He says he still cares for me greatly but our careers are taking us different places and he may need to move. He is also under a grest deal of stress due to his current job. I tried NC, which technically he knew about, and failed at the 17 day mark, He says he wants to text me on Christmas day. I feel as though I can’t ignore him as he is one of those people who cut people out for good for ignoring him.

Should I sent him a short message back? I am also definitely in the friend zone. Should I friend zone him back? Also keen to recommence NC after Xmas. How long should I do this for? I’m also becoming the UG and getting my life back.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 15, 2017 at 4:12 pm

HI Angela,

how does he know about nc?

Farah

December 13, 2017 at 1:43 pm

please help
it is a long story stared on 2009 but i will try to Summarize it
me and my ex boy friend were engaged for 2 and a half years , i was healing from a past relationship and couldn’t marry him and i broke up with him shortly before marriage as i was afraid of intimacy and he became so much broken.
we stayed in contact for a year later then suddenly he got engaged to another girl for one more year and then broke up with her he was asking my friends and family about me during his engagement to the other girl ..3 months later he contacted me again (i was in another city for work ) he said he is confused about wanting to marry again and he has some commitment issues now.
we stayed in a strange relationship hot and cold and he is distant and can’t decide about me but when i try to end the relationship he say he still confused and lets have another try.
we broke up again on October 2016 as he was not able to make his mind about our relationship (then he entered into some short relationships and end them all ) then we got in contact in January 2017 .. we started to talk as friends and non committed relationship hot and cold again . my father passed away in march and he made a great support to me at this time.
after that we stayed in contact (note that he was in another city ) hot and cold again until finally on July 2017 he moved on to the city that i work in for a good Job .
we stared to meet and to have fun together eating together and he brought some gifts and i did too
i asked him to commit and to marry me as i felt this time was different but he was very mad and he said that he doesn’t know me and i don’t know him well
he said that he feels that he struggle to know what’s going on with me and he doesn’t have to ( i don’t talk a lot )
he said that he doesn’t want me to wait any more for him and to see my life and we don’t have to meet again or to talk again.
i was shocked and confused and weak at the same time and i told him that i don’t want to end it and why he changed like that and i also was looked very needy with no dignity
that happen 70 days ago with no contact and i can’t understand ??!!!!
is it hopeless ?? how can i fix this ? please advise
please note that we had no sex included all over the relationship for religious beliefs

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 15, 2017 at 11:41 am

Hi farah,

I think you should move on. You’re not in the same page about marriage

Wendy

November 30, 2017 at 10:46 pm

Me and my boyfriend are in LDRS. We hav been together for over one year. We broke up becoz he can’t give enough time for me. And we fought a lot becoz of that. After broke up. He recontact me within a days. He calls me and cares me. He checks if I’m okay or not everyday. Finally he committed tht he still loves me. But he doesn’t want to run into RS with me anymore. Wht should I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 3, 2017 at 3:15 pm

Hi Wendy,

Read this one:
If You Had a Long Distance Breakup Here Is How You Get Back Together2017

Eva

November 22, 2017 at 4:24 pm

Hey dear Team,

my LDR boyfriend over 15k km split up with me two weeks ago. We have an on off relationship somehow, because he has a huge problem to commit and cope with problems. He has a very unstable life and I seem to blow him away with my character.
The break up was nasty and left me heartbroken, but after 4 days of NC i had to contact him because he told my friend we still were a couple somehow, even though he made a public facebook post about the split. I confronted him and we cleared a lot of things. Suddenly we had a relaxed Ping Pong like talk over 7 hrs on phone. The next days the same good and easy talks.

Our relationship was already toxic kinda, many many fights, serious talks, him not fully committed, telling me he cannot accept me fully (or some parts that annoy him and he cannot handle) and he wants to be single and find a job first. He needs a lot of space and I was clingy.

After break up, I was completely focused on myself and getting better in the 4 days. Still now I do much for myself.
Now we talk again as if nothing happened, we clear our communication problems better, but I feel like falling back in old patterns and he is not ready to commit.

I am not ok with that, I feel uncomfortable somehow, because I am afraid things will repeat. But I also don’t know how to go into NC (because he is very ok right now again, even blows me kisses or talks a bit about future) without making it look akward and forced.
I also want to sort myself more, see if I really wanna have that RS. I want him to level up and invest more than ever, because he simply does only do that when he feels ok (which was rare for him as soon as he committed).

So wht shall I do? NC? How to not make him upset? Text less? More space? Because right now we basically are back in relationship without calling it like that, but only few things changed.
Would be really happy about your answer and sorry for the long text.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 24, 2017 at 11:25 am

Hi,
You have to tell him being friends is not workable for you right now and then thank him for everything and then start 30 days nc..dont tell him you’re doing nc..

Alana

November 20, 2017 at 2:08 pm

Hello,
Me and my ex boyfriend split up one week ago due to him not thinking I was able to trust him. He cried during the break up and told me he loved me but had to be selfish because he didn’t feel confident in his own relationship. I went straight into NC, didn’t beg or cry. After 6 days of NC I heard that he had moved on with another girl and I angrily messaged him and he replied stating that she was just a friend and he was struggling to move on, he still loved me and wasn’t happy without me in his life but couldn’t be in a relationship as he is struggling with work and college. We left the conversation on good terms and I have since been in NC again. Is this the right thing to do if I want to restore our relationship and keep him in love with me? Or should I just keep talking to him? Thankyou very much

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 22, 2017 at 1:08 am

Hi Alana,
One of the goals of nc is to have a restart.. so, yes, continue nc and then slowly rebuild rapport after.

Jennifer

November 10, 2017 at 1:34 pm

Hi, my bf of 4 years broke up with me out of no where the end of September. He is 34 I’m 29. He was previously married and fears failing again if he remarries. I want marriage and children in my future. I didn’t talk to him for 10 days after break up then he text me about getting his one small thing back. He started telling me he loves me all he does is think about me and this was harder than his divorce. We broke up one other timefor 6 months. He told me he was afraid he was making a mistake. I told him if he didn’t know I couldn’t be stuck and needed time to move forward. Then a few days went by it was my birthday he wished me happy birthday I didn’t respond he likes my pictures on instagram and the pictures my friends post of me. The day after my birthday he told me he made a mistake he loves me he’ll do anything it takes he wants me back. I asked him to meet and talk and he said he was anxious and needed to be alone. That weekend we started hanging out going on dates talking everyday. But I could tell he was uneasy unsure. He had written out a chart of our wants and needs and how to achieve them. After a week of goingon dates I askedhim to talk about what’s going on… He said he didn’t know he’s scared to fail he said all his friends say its tainted and not meant to be bc we broke up. He kept saying he didn’t know and that he had terrible anxiety and sadness when we brokeup but now that we are hanging outhe’s anxious if thisis right and if its not goingto work. He was crying and holding me… I left and ignored his calls. Then he text me that I was right he is afraid of failing like his marriage and he didn’t wanted to throw away all we had because he was listening to other people. I asked he what he wanted to do aboutthis he said he didn’t know. I am on a roller coaster ride. I’m not sure what to do. I’m going to do no contact but every time we agree not to talk he sends me memes or finds an excuse to talk to him. He assures me it’s not someone else but on the weekends he’s out with his friends and Sunday through Thursday is when he’s lonely and reaches out to me. We agreed to give each other space but I’ve asked him to do that before and he won’t. He asked for my therapists contact info the next day then the following day he liked my Instagram picture. Yesterday I saw he updated his bumble profile picture to a picture I took of him and his bio. Day 3 of no contact. Help!

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 12, 2017 at 11:48 pm

Hi Jennifer,
You have to stick in nc even if he messages you.

W

October 9, 2017 at 12:39 am

Hi, so that means it’s no longer a good sign anymore? But i felt like he is stuck in between getting back tgt and not getting back tgt. Maybe it’s like a 20 80 situation where 80 of him knows he have to move on for future good but 20 of him feels like maybe he have to give it a try thats why he asked me if i wanna go over and talk that day. I can feel that we somehow still love each other.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 10, 2017 at 12:43 pm

If he wants to get back, he had already done it..that’s why it’s better to act like he doesn’t

W

October 8, 2017 at 3:45 pm

Hi Amor, so i went to meet my ex boyfriend today and we have a long talk abt our relationship. He told me he actually still loves me but some things couldnt be changed. I asked him that some things couldnt be changed does he mean by the way i talk couldnt be changed? He said yes. He once told me the kind of main reason abt our break up was because he dislike the way i talk and he told me a thousand times alr but im still acting the same. So he thinks that i couldnt change. I told him quite alot abt my perspective towards relationship and i told him that it’s not easy for two people to fall in love so since we’re still in love after 4 months of break up why not try and solve the problem tgt with me. He kept quiet. He then told me he doesnt want to be in a relationship for now, he say it’s not the right timing, he is not ready yet. He say he wouldnt consider a relationship for now but maybe both of us take it slow, maybe after some time. I asked him if he means take things slow is because if we sudd get back tgt like this it’s abit weird as in we broke up for quite some time alr, and it needs to have a process before getting back . And he said yes. He said he likes going out with his friends more now and he feel like he have to commit time to me if we get back tgt now, he’s not ready. i asked him if he actually wanted to get back tgt but just not the right timing for now because it needs a process and he said yes again. He said we could go hang out , go play sports tgt, text, and i can even go over his place if i want to(but not that often). I asked him if we could go on a date first for now and slowly slowy dating more often like a process before getting tgt and he actually agreed to do so. He promised me that he’ll try hard during this process since he actually wanted to get back tgt but just not the right timing unlike the last time let things and feelings follow the flow. I actually asked him to promise me. He told me he will but he couldnt promise me abt the timing because he couldnt predict the future but he’ll try. He told me he is kinda tired for a relationship for now and wanted to chill and rest but he couldnt promise me how ling would he wanna rest. He said it’s all abt the timing. He told me we could text each other as he dont mind texting. But i told him his reply was kinda cold he said it’s because he dont really know how should he text me. Like in what way should he text me. Hmm, what should i do? Is it still a good sign? And we’re on the right track? Is there actually hope?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 8, 2017 at 8:59 pm

Hi W,

When your ex is being distant, don’t ask for a date.. That means there’s not enough rapport… But since you already talked, it’s clear that he has or is moving on and he can see you’re chasing him.. So, it’s either you do one last nc of 45 days, slowly rebuild rapport after it while you continue having your own life or just move on..

If you’re doing nc, approach it like he had moved on. That way you’re not going to ask or demand for time or to take you back.. You’re going to try to make him attracted to you, like you would do to a stranger that you’re interested with…

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