I Want My Ex Back But He Wont Even Talk To Me

402 thoughts on “I Want My Ex Back But He Won’t Talk To Me”

Hannah

August 5, 2018 at 3:25 pm

What if he unblocked you after 8 months, but still refuses to speak to you or respond to you?

Chris Seiter

August 5, 2018 at 6:16 pm

Hi Hannah!

That is a positive sign that he unblocked..but clearly you need to turn to your ex recovery plan to deal with trying to get him to be more response. Go to my home page and tap into those resources!

Denisha

August 5, 2018 at 3:58 am

I’ve talked about my situation earlier this month. Based on the things I told you do you think that It’s late or that I waited too late to apply these strategies to get him back and that I should just give up the relationship or should I just proceed with the process? Although I feel stronger, I just don’t know and can’t really tell if he wants me anymore and I’m not sure what I should do at this point because I feel that he is really trying to be with this girl because he hasn’t reached out to me to give me his number for us to even get on speaking terms. I just kinda feel I waited to late to try to make the relationship and maybe he just made up his mind that he doesn’t want me anymore.

Chris Seiter

August 5, 2018 at 6:52 pm

I am glad you are feeling stronger Denisha. That is key! No one knows the future and you can’t control his decisions. But you can continue doing things to become the best version of yourself and embrace an ex recover plan as I describe it on my website and in my eBooks. In time, you will know whether you wish to invest any more of your efforts to try to get him back.

Sara

August 3, 2018 at 12:30 pm

Hi Chris.

I’m not sure what e book you are taking about but no I do not have it.
Sara

August 2, 2018 at 3:08 pm

Hello,

I think I have read just about every article one here. They are really great! I was blindside by my ex about a month and a half ago. He constantly told me how much he loved me and how amazing I was. He’d even post it online. He said I was the love of his life and would be with me always. We were extremely happy. The only issue we had was I would get upset sometimes because at times I would think time spent with his friends was excessive. I’m big on communication so I even brought it up and he said sometimes we would agree to disagree but it was nothing he’d would ever leave me over. Keep in mind this maybe happened two or three times. It wasn’t a daily battle. Then on a family vacation (his family) after a great time and him talking about what we’d do when we got home, he got drunk, I got annoyed and instead of fighting I walked away. His mother then came over and started yelling At me and again I walked away. Wasn’t about to fight with my bfs mother. Well he broke up with me on vacation and I flew home alone. After I got back he showed up. Said it wasn’t about the trip but he could see this relationship going the same direction his last one did. He left without being willing to talk. I called him a few days after. He answered but said he couldn’t talk and he “might call me back” he didn’t. A week or so after that I wrote him a letter “his cousins idea” and she gave it to him. I have been on no contact since (almost at a month). I have never heard from him. It kills me because we had an amazing relationship. I mean every day he told me how much he loved me and how lucky he was. And it all changed I feel because he didn’t communicate how much the friends thing bothered him. Had I known I would have adjusted. I can see where he is coming from. Everyone around me says if he wanted to be with me he would. And if he wanted to talk he would and I should move on. I really love him and saw an amazing future together. Even his parents would say how happy he was. I just don’t know what to do. Give up or keep trying.

Chris Seiter

August 3, 2018 at 12:41 am

Sara…I can’t remember. Do you have my ebook that deals with breakup matters like this?

Denisha

July 29, 2018 at 11:36 am

Hi, Chris although I’m working on myself I just wonder did I wait too late to not only work on myself but to do the strategies and follow the principles to get him back. I want to be with him and I miss him a lot and so much and sometimes I wonder do he even feel the same about . Every since that week his sister hasn’t brought up anything about his relationship. I do believe that he was clueless and didn’t know what he wanted or what was best for him. Do you feel he is still clueless about what he want or is it just that he is sincerely happy because he hasn’t tried to reach out me? Will he ever give me his number and reach out or did Is it too late to try to get him back?

Chris Seiter

July 29, 2018 at 3:43 pm

Trust me Denisha….it is never too later to work on yourself and improve “you”. I talk about that in my ebook in the Chapter about the Holy Trinity. Denisha, have you picked up one of my eBooks that deal with having a game plan or have you taken my quiz and watched my free webinar. There are a lot of answers there!

Tierra L Maynard

July 29, 2018 at 11:35 am

He broke up with me the night he landed from our 7 day vacation (his family was there and they took a later flight than me). There was a petty argument and he broke up with me. Part of me was worried because the next day when I sobered up I called and didn’t get an answer. The phone would ring, so I knew he didn’t block me and it lasted for 2 days straight with absolutely no communication. In the past we break up and there is a day we go with talking but not the way he carried things this time. So I sent him a text telling him I would come get my stuff. I did this and he said nothing. When I got there he wasn’t there so I left, then passed him so I turned around. He drives pass his house just to avoid me. That made me feel utterly disrespected so I waited for him to turn around.
He pulls up and parks. I proceeded to ask him how we got here after a beautiful vacation and all we been through and he says nothing. He just told his family on vacation how much he was in love with me and wanted to marry me. I say well you can get my stuff and I will wait in the car. He went and got my stuff and put it in the car and I said so I can’t get a bye or anything. He says bye. And He continued walking into his house closing the door in my face. I looked over at his car and realized that he still had my parking sticker and a gift I bought from vacation. I knocked on the door and no response. I threatened to call the police because I needed my stuff and he didn’t respond. So I tell him that I will call them and wait in my truck. It got hot and then he puts a note outside his door. I walked up to the door and read the note and it stated ” you have 10 minutes then I’m calling the police. I didn’t fight I just got back in my truck. After maybe 15 more minutes waiting for the police he came outside and just stands on the step looking at me. I walk up and tell him I’m leaving on my own will because I’m better than this. I’m a good woman that has never cheated or lied. He on the other hand has lied and I believe he cheated. On top of that he has a bad drinking problem but I kinda balanced him out. However, if I’m not with him and he gets the urge there is one liquor I told him was forbidden because he turns into a different person (which he had been drinking the night of the break up). Now he has blocked me. I still love him more than words could begin to describe but his drinking becomes too much at times. I just don’t know if he loves me enough to cut back as much as he needs too in order to have a healthy relationship.

Chris Seiter

July 29, 2018 at 3:47 pm

Hi Tierra….there is a lot going on her with your story. I am sorry he blocked you and is treating you so rudely. It is best to have a plan of action on how to deal with all of this behavior. No Contact is one solution, but you need to understand how it all works. Go visit my home page on this site and tap into some of the wonderful resources and products I make available to help people. You first focus should be on your your healing and recovery from all this chaos.

claudia

May 10, 2018 at 4:57 pm

So turns out he just got into a relationship and well….. it’s weird because the girl is well…… she tends to cheat a lot and it’s known. so I don’t know what he’s thinking but… . I guess he doesn’t care anymore.
Claudia

May 5, 2018 at 3:30 pm

Well Chris,
I really don’t know what happened but I read an article here about making an ex miss you and well I did the accidental phone call and I apologized and hung up quickly but I guess that was a huge mistake because my best friend, who is friends with my ex, said he got a text from my ex that said to tell me to leave him alone because it’s getting annoying. Now I wasn’t a text gnat, I would text him and he’d respond sometimes and sometimes he wouldn’t but if he didn’t, I was fine with it and I wouldn’t text him back until two days later or more but with a new conversation. I really thought the call would make him miss me a little but to actually make him text my best friend to tell me to leave him alone?! It’s almost like he wants to avoid his feelings or something because why couldn’t he call or text me and tell me that? I just don’t know why guys are confusing.

Chris Seiter

May 5, 2018 at 11:27 pm

Yes Claudia…us guys can be confusing. I think its because we are a different species! But seriously, it sounds like he needs some space and therefor NC would be in order for at least some period of time. He may not be emotionally ready yet to reconsider getting back. He may have other things go on in his head or life.

claudia

April 28, 2018 at 8:53 pm

Hi Chris ,
Sorry about all the questions but what if texting just isn’t the way to go to get my ex back? Yes, he did text me when we were dating but that’s because we were dating. Before we started dating, we would talk a lot in class or he’d call me on the phone. He really isn’t a texting person and he told me himself in the beginning of poor relationship. Also, he’s stubborn and keeps his mind set on a decision. So, with my situation now, he always answers after the first text sent but then stops or responds but then stops and I’m not sure if the text being interesting is the problem because 1. he’s either busy or 2. he’s either busy that he forgot about the message because he can be forgetful so…… I’m just trying to figure that out. I haven’t gotten my texting bible in the mail yet but I’m trying to figure out if texting would work? what do you think? I know i can’t just randomly text him but i mean i dont know how to get a conversation out of him.

Chris Seiter

April 28, 2018 at 11:30 pm

Hi again Claudia. Only one way to find out!

Madison

April 26, 2018 at 3:46 am

You say throughout this and many other articles that your ex will go crazy if he thinks you’re doing well without him, which in turn will drive him right back to you…but with my ex, his thinking I would be better off without him was a big part in him deciding that we needed time apart. in this case, it seems him seeing me doing great without him would trigger his negative self talk. “See, you really ARE doing better without me. I would just hold you back”. What do I do in this circumstance?

Chris Seiter

April 26, 2018 at 3:07 pm

Hi Madison…perhaps that is how he might process it. Or he may had said those things, but was just search for words at the time and really isn’t sure what he wants. If there is still a spark there, men usually react with some jealousy and desire when they see you getting alone well without them.

Lisa

April 25, 2018 at 2:01 pm

Chris!
Help I’m so nervous. I wrote some discussion down below about going to dinner with my ex for the first time . The meeting is finally set – up for tonight . He’s meeting me halfway between where we live and he had asked if he should come completely to where I live in case things goes well and he can stay the night . I was floored because I thought we were trying to meet up as friends and I haven’t seen him in 7 weeks! So I told him it’s best we still meet half way this time and catch- up
And that I was looking forward to it. My question is , how
Am I supposed to act tonight??? Was not expecting him to request to stay over . Nor do I want to show him I’m that “easy! “ and second question, do I bring up
How he made me feel at all bc shouldn’t he know that ?
Thanks

Chris Seiter

April 25, 2018 at 11:52 pm

Oops…i got to this message late Lisa! I agree….best not to encourage him to stay over. So you played that right. Guys can be stupid, stupid about some things. That’s a given. So I guess….not much value in bring up how stupid he was to suggest such thing. Keep it to positive exchanges. Let me know how it went Lisa!
Lisa

April 26, 2018 at 12:23 pm

so the night went so much better than expected. I went in feeling cool calm collected confident . He was the one after a lot of tAlk about life bringing up what happened. He cried, explained he was so sorry and it was stupid and he felt not ready and that he rushed things and etc etc . He said he hasn’t stopped thinking about me and he thought he hurt me so bad how was he going to fix it so he didn’t know what to do. He asked me if we could have a second try at a relationship where we could go slower etc. that he still is serious about me and he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about me. Kept apologizing. Asked to see me Saturday. I agreed. was not expecting that at all. I didn’t shed one teAr. I told him EVERYTHING that I felt as far as breakup etc and that I had no tears left to shed for him. he was apologetic saying I didn’t deserve it and would like to prove to me the man im “supposed to be with ” So I guess , it went ok. I’m still not putting my eggs in one basket obviously and told him that as well but there was a VERY genuine guy talking to me tonight who I still had a love for…. so I guess we will see ???. I acted exactly how you told me cOol, calm, collected, confident, and just fun. Didn’t bring it up at all. He’s like “I’ve missed you” so he wanted to talk about it so we did. I’m a little confused with how I should take this now moving forward….. suggestions?
Chris Seiter

April 26, 2018 at 2:44 pm

Just go it easy. It is not unusual with breakups to have false re-starts. Our emotions can rush us back together. Tell him openly that it is best the two of you just ease into things, taking it real slow. Avoid relationship talk. Try to enjoy each other’s company. Simplify things. Don’t try to figure everything out. Make no demands on each other. Tell him let’s just be nice and kind to each other and if we can’t do that, then lets take another break.
Lisa

April 26, 2018 at 2:57 pm

Ok, good idea! What about the whole chase thing ? Any suggestions with that? I shouldn’t be texting all the time etc right ?
Chris Seiter

April 26, 2018 at 3:22 pm

Right…you are seeking a balance. I talk about this in my ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro. I refer to it as Tide theory!
Chris Seiter

April 26, 2018 at 3:22 pm

Right…you are seeking a balance. I talk about this in my ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro. I refer to it as Tide theory!
Lisa

April 26, 2018 at 6:45 am

Hi Chris,
We met up…. I kept it cool calm and classy 😉 he was the one after a lot of catching – up that started tearing up saying he missed me and let’s tslk about what Happened. So we did. He apologized a lot . Then he said “I don’t want this to be the last time we see eachother. Can we just go with the flow and continue to see one another?” So- I guess I have it from here but he did invite me for dinner at his place Saturday night. Is it ok to stay the night or too quick???
Chris Seiter

April 26, 2018 at 3:04 pm

I am glad things are heading in a better direction for you Lisa! There are so many dynamics into whether you should stay the night. Play it by ear and go with your gut. If you hold out, it may frustrate him, but if he truly loves you, it will increase your value. Then again, it may serve no purpose and risk resentment coming into play. Perhaps when it comes to that point, you openly discuss the merits, but not make it a complicated conversation. Just get his take on it. That might prove to be an interesting and enlightening conversation.

claudia

April 25, 2018 at 1:25 pm

hi so I sent a memory text to my ex about a show we liked and how a new episode is coming out but he never answered… :/ I thought I was off to a goodstart with progress but I don’t know I guess it takes a lot of time. now I’m just deciding on getting The Texting Bible and hopefully I can figure something out by reading it. But I don’t know why sometimes he answers and sometimes not.

Chris Seiter

April 25, 2018 at 11:56 pm

Hey there Claudia! Thanks for dropping by again. Yeah…this breakup stuff is a process. Sometimes it is a series of little failures (or what feels like failures), but I think of them as psychological breadcrumbs. He got the message and I bet it made a little mark. The Texting Bible is a massive ebook with lots of texting ideas, samples, and guidelines. Also, there is a lot of other information in there on related breakup topics to keep you centered.

Just go it slow and remember not to overreach with the text frequency.

claudia

April 22, 2018 at 10:53 pm

Hey Chris,

So I contacted my ex today after waiting awhile because he responded negatively before when I told him I accepted the breakup. He actually responded positively and I used the “guess what happened ” text and he responded with a joke. And I had a plan to leave him hanging when he responds to my text because we were talking for a while but he never responded to my previous sent text and I think maybe I need to work on my conversation to keep it interesting in the middle because I can keep it interesting in the beginning and I know how to end it with a cliffhanger but I think into the conversation I didn’t have it as interesting that he stopped replying…. just wanted to update and see if you had anything to add or if I should change something

Chris Seiter

April 23, 2018 at 12:23 am

Hi Claudia…it does sound like progress is being made. Just go easy and don’t worry to much about the technicality of the conversation flow. Sure, ideally, you want to end it on a high note, like I talk about in the book (the Z effect)

Olivia

April 21, 2018 at 2:54 pm

My boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me 8 days ago. He told me he doesn’t feel the same anymore and that “I’ll move on in months to come and forget about him” and “times a healer” and I’m truly, truly broken. I’m so in love. It hurts to exist. We were speaking about marriage and were genuinely trying to buy a house, when I asked him why he did all this he said “he thought it was what he wanted at the time”. He told me that we can’t have any contact because he doesn’t want to give me false hope. I called and left 2 voice mails a few days after as I just wanted him to understand how much I was hurting (I know now I shouldn’t have done this) and have been reading your website for a couple of days as it seems to be the only thing that gives me positivity right now. Please help me, I 100% know he is the one for me, he is my soul mate and my saviour. What do I do?

Chris Seiter

April 21, 2018 at 11:49 pm

Hi Olivia…the good news is 4 years is a good amount of time for a relationship to get some positive traction…so that counts for something going forward. Most guys will say things like that. Do they mean it? Maybe at the time. Will they always feel this way? Not necessarily. I know it hurts, but that can be managed and it is important you have both a plan going forward to heal and focus on becoming the best YOU. If you wish to optimize your chances, go take a look at any one of my ebooks at website Menu/Products link. They are designed as comprehensive Companion Guides to help people manage their breakup situation and optimize their chances going forward. Perhaps he is the one for you. But that won’t be clear for some time, so the pragmatic thing to do is to start your healing process and come up with your plan going forward. The ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro would probably be the best fit for you.

Mira

April 20, 2018 at 9:36 am

Hi Chris, i am a lesbian, she broke up with me 2 months ago, i did NC for 33 days, i feel i am better and i decided to just to be her friend, before we start our 1 year relationship, she is my best friend for almost 1 and half year, so i don’t wanna lost her as a friend, and i text her and said i accepted we have broke up and just wanna be her friend, but she ignored my text, few days after i text her again ask about a restaurant’s name that we went before. but she ignored that text too. she didn’t even read it.

Just fyi, the reason she broke up with me is because i am too needy and clingy and i used to be a text terrorist which can spam her 100 – 300 text in few hours time, because she always ignore my text, the only way to make her reply me it’s when i raged at her, if i don’t spam she will never reply me!!!!!!anyway she told me even we broke up we are still best friend. 2 weeks before NC i give her a new phone and i told her i am going back to my hometown and we might lost contact forever, and she told me it’s pointless to have the phone if couldn’t contact me, but she accepted the gift. and few days after she ignore me again, and we quarrel and totally no contact after that.

So i couldn’t understand why she ignore me now. i don’t care she move on or not but why cant we be friend? she been ignore my text for a week now, and she didn’t even read it. is she really heartless and not interested to be my friend anymore? or she is testing me? i am confused, i just wan her back as my friend.

Chris Seiter

April 20, 2018 at 4:10 pm

Hi Mira. Thanks for stopping by and for your comment! I hear you Mira…breakups can be painful. Sometimes the harder we try…the worse we can make things because our emotions are flying all over the place. Consider picking up on of my ebooks as they are designed to help people optimize their chances of ex recovery (website Menu/Products). But what is also discussed in my ebooks is the importance of your own healing as you move forward. One such resources is the No Contact Rule Book ebook is full of things you can do to get through the pain of what you are going through. Once you are lifted out and away from your own suffering, you will see things more clearly and that actually helps you with better connecting with the one you wish to be close to. It also gives the other person a chance to pull back and see you in a different light.

claudia

April 18, 2018 at 10:09 pm

Hi,
I did NC for a 45days and I really learned to love myself more and actually enjoy being alone with myself instead of before when I always wanted someone there for me. So, i contacted him and he answered positively but then after a while he stopped responded so I waited 3days to contact again because I don’t want to seem desperate and I contacted him and he answered and we had a longer conversation which was great but then he stopped responding again and so I waited a week to text him back and I told him “I just want you to know I accepted why we broke up and I want to be friends that’s why I am texting you and I really hope that we can be.” and he answered and say”yeah we are but I mean what is a friend to you? are we just gonna awkward text each other or am I going to block you and avoid you on Snapchat like you did to me?” and I answered and told him I never blocked him, I took time for myself and deleted the app because social media just makes me procrastinate a lot and I also told him well yeah it’s going to be awkward at first but I want to work on it and it’s gonna take time. I hopefully plan to talk like befote as friends and build our relationship back up like before because we were best friends before we dated. And after i sent that text well he didn’t answer back so……. well it’s been two weeks without contact and I thought maybe he needed space but what should I do now? I’m confused and he’s really special but no one seems to support me in getting him back

Chris Seiter

April 18, 2018 at 11:27 pm

Great job Claudia..you should be proud of yourself. You are your own best friend. I did a podcast with a therapist who talked about learning to date yourself, treating yourself as you should be treated, doing things for yourself. Have you picked up my ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro or the “The No Contact Rule Book”…as they may help you work through this period and minimally optimize your chances. Its good to have a companion Guide that can help show you the way as things unfold. Also, I offer Coaching Services…but back to your question.

Maybe he does need space….obviously neither of us know that for certain or what he is really thinking. However things unfold, taking small steps is important. I am thinking he is holding on to some resentment, which not unusual. So more space might help clear that away from his mind. Whatever happens as you have learned, you have many paths that lie before you and you don’t need him to ultimately be happy. Time is the arbitrator in such matters and if he doesn’t want to revisit the relationship, that is his choice…you only have some much influence.
claudia

April 19, 2018 at 1:25 am

thank you Chris but one more quick thing. do you think I should just give him more time then for now(and how long do you think? it’s been 2 weeks of NC) and then contact him again but with a quick interesting story or question that’ll make the conversation short so that he could be the last one to say something instead of me being the one and then being left on seen or just wait for him to contact me? I just want to know where to start in this because I’ve read a lot of success stories and you’ve given me hope I never thought I’d get from anyone.
Chris Seiter

April 19, 2018 at 5:11 am

Hi again Claudia…love you name! Yes, that is what I cover in my ebooks…text messages that are clever and interesting or creative, etc. The number say on average people have about a 40% chance more or less of getting their ex back. Of course those chances are optimized if you are following a well organized plan. Yes, keep the convo short. I talk about peak points in conversations and how to bail out gracefully. My wife was an expert at this with me! I am thinking 21 day NC might be your sweet spot, but remember as I talk about in the No Contact Rulebook, there are no hard and fast rules. Think of it as guidelines, subject to modification depending on a host of variables and outcomes. keep me posted Claudia!

Lexie

April 18, 2018 at 1:54 pm

I was engaged to my fiance’ after 9.5 years of dating. I told him I wanted to be married and he finally proposed 6 months ago. 4 months into our engagement, we already started planning a destination wedding and had all our family and friends pay for hotels and flights, we starting fighting over him not feeling appreciated and respected and he left. He’s been gone for 3 weeks now. He contacts me only to fight about what I’ve been doing (going out with my friends) while he does not tell me what he is doing aka going out too. It’s been hurtful because we haven’t had a fight this long before and I am living in our place all alone. He basically ghosted me and only surfaces to fight or when he absolutely has to. I’ve given him space and try and not be a doormat to his behavior. I just don’t know what else I need to do. I know he’s talking to girls and now says we are on a break. I am scared the grass is greener and he will continue to see me as someone that took him for granted and fights with him all the time. He is playing a lot of games with me. Please help.

Chris Seiter

April 18, 2018 at 10:40 pm

Hey there Lexie! The first thing I read, I liked. 9.5 years puts down a lot of relationship roots. Sure, there have been major bumps along the way, but few people just give up on each other after that amount of time. Stick with the blueprint plan discussed in my ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro (i.e. website Menu/Products link). It will help you along the way. Read up on the No Contact Principle, which I cover in detail and some of the texting strategies you can employ. Don’t worry about the grass is greener because it seldom is and you can’t control what he does. Focus on your own healing and being the best version of yourself. All that is covered in my ebooks and much more!
Lexie

April 25, 2018 at 2:05 pm

Chris,
A lot has changed since I last wrote you. My fiance’ texted me wanting to talk, we talked things through and I apologized for my part. He started crying and said he didn’t want to move on. We spent the whole weekend together to “see how things would go.” The whole weekend he was acting like we were back to normal, professing his love to me and said all these things that we were going to improve to make the relationship work. We had amazing, fiestier sex than we had before all weekend, tells me how much he loves me, etc. We talked alot over the weekend about our relationship. We discussed his marriage issues (He’s 36 years old), and one min he says he wants to be married, the next we paints this awful image of divorce like he already knows we are going to fail. At one point, He says he wants to have a family and be with me, but not be married. After the weekend, he tells me he is leaving to go out of town and doesn’t know if he can do this. I caught him with a 2nd phone over the weekend, so I know he is being unfaithful and probably going out of town with another girl. I am devastated because I feel so used and deceived from the weekend we just had. He is playing games with me. I know he will eventually surface, but I don’t know what to do or be like. I don’t want to be a doormat, but I also don’t want to push him away or make his new lifestyle easier for him. What is going on with his mind and what should I do? Please help.
Chris Seiter

April 25, 2018 at 11:49 pm

Hi Lexie…first of all, remember you are special. Remember that. You are a special, lovely woman with a big heart. So like I discuss in my ebook (Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro), you should adopt the No Contact Principle. But do it strictly for yourself. I want you to treat yourself beautifully. Date yourself. Seek to be the best version of yourself. Heal yourself. Avoid thinking about him. Create new routines. If you have not done so already, go buy my book. “The No Contact Rule Book” because it will help you immensely with self recovery and teach you all the benefits of the No Contact Principle. And then once you have found the balance in your life and feelings…and you will….then ask yourself, do you really want to invest any more time and energy and love into this guy. When you have full perspective, you will know the answer!

Lottie

April 18, 2018 at 4:02 am

I was with a guy who completely adored me. We had been talking for 4 months, I wanted to take things slow though because we live in different states. He introduced me as his girlfriend to his friends the last time I saw him. I kind of freaked out the week after and asked for space for a few days, I was also finding it a distraction from my studies. I was out that weekend, got drunk and my guy friend kissed me. I told my boyfriend and he was devastated. I assured him it was a mistake, that I only have feelings for him. One weekend later on spring break he tells me to ‘be good’ and ‘not get with other guys.’ It was like a self-fulfilling prophecy, the first night I kissed someone else. He said he could forgive me but it would take time, then a week later he changed his mind, ended it saying he cant be with someone who treats him like this. I left him alone for a week then tried to reconnect, realising I’d made a huge mistake and completely taken him for granted. He told me we can be friends but that he can’t be in a relationship with someone who cheats. I have since tried to prove to him that what happened was totally out of character, that it wasn’t about wanting to get with other guys I just felt so much pressure boiling over that led me to act out. I’ve apologised profusely, sent him his things in a care package but he is adamant that things cant go back to the way they were. It’s awful but it’s taken these screw ups to realise how much he means to me. I called him yesterday to ask if he would meet me (as friends) if I drove down for the day and he refused and told me it was a terrible idea, but immediately after the phone call asked if I was okay. I was super emotional and told him that I wasn’t and he said what I did was ‘unforgivable’ but maintains he wants to be ‘friends.’ I regret my actions so much and would do anything to have him back in my life. I’ve never seen him so cold before though it’s as though he has completely switched his feelings off for me. Is there anything I can do to win him back over?

Chris Seiter

April 18, 2018 at 5:13 am

Hi Lottie….first you need to have a game plan. I have you looked at any of my ebooks (website Menu/Products link). Once you learn more about the world of breakups, you will better your chances. So got a look at some of these resources. That is the first step. Things are still very emotional now. But from the sound of it…based on his described actions…you guys have a real shot.

Sophia

April 16, 2018 at 8:28 am

Hi, me and my ex had a majorly messy break up in which I begged and he got so annoyed he didn’t want to talk to me again. I got sexually assaulted since and my family told him and he messaged me but has been completely off. Now I have taken a pregnancy test and it came out positive. I had forgotten to take my pill about 4/5 weeks ago and he will probably be mad. Should I tell him? I don’t want him to think I’m naking this up to get him back which I’m scared he will think.
Thank you for your help.

Chris Seiter

April 18, 2018 at 3:25 am

Hi Sophia! First of all, make sure you are getting all the emotional support you deserve as a result of these difficulties you have gone thru. That is important. He has zero reason to be mad at you for what happened. Just take things slow with your ex. Chances are that he will eventually find out about your condition, so no rush on telling him. That time will come. Right now, focus on YOU. It is tough to go through a breakup, so I think you should take some time to heal. It also helps to have a sophisticated game plan. I have ebooks and resources here on the site (website menu/Products link) you can take a look at. You take good care of yourself Sophia.

AQBC

April 12, 2018 at 9:14 pm

Hi Chris. A little over two weeks ago I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone and could sense something was wrong. He is going through a really difficult time right now where his ex wife is interfering with our relationship and trying to legally keep me away from their child. We are in a LDR now and had plans of me moving in with him over the summer. The last time I spoke with him I told him “if we needed to step back for now I would be willing to do so” until everything settles down with her. He said “let’s wait and see what happens” I could tell he was stressed out about the situation entirely. We said our “I love yous” and I could still feel his stress. I texted him shortly after to tell him that we should take some space for ourselves while all of this was going on. That way he could have the time to deal with what he needs to and I can deal with my own problems too. We have a very good and strong relationship. Or so I thought. I haven’t heard a word from him in over two weeks. The only thing I’ve seen from him was a song he posted on FB that was very heartfelt and directed, (lame, I know but that’s how we always communicated. Through music.) I have only reached out twice, in respect for him and his space. I’m just having a hard time understand how he could easily stonewall me like this. He didn’t even respond to my initial message saying we should take some space. I guess what I’m asking is, will he ever reach out to me? Should I have done what he said and “wait and see?” The space has been beneficial for me personally. I’m just confused on where we stand and if we are even together at this point.

Thanks in advance.

Chris Seiter

April 12, 2018 at 9:50 pm

Hi AQBC!! There seems to be a lot going on in his life which clearly is contributing to some of the confusion/chaos and uncertainty. The LDR also brings some added challenges. Yes, I think you will hear from him. Use this time to focus on YOU. I know you want him in your life and that story is still being written, but also teach yourself to move forward with him, if that is the path that unfolds. Take a look at some of the resources I offer on my Products Page (via website menu). Having a comprehensive blueprint on how to deal with all the various things that might happen will benefit you. There are some other things there that might be a fit. Best of luck to you my friend.
Chris Seiter

April 12, 2018 at 9:50 pm

Hi AQBC!! There seems to be a lot going on in his life which clearly is contributing to some of the confusion/chaos and uncertainty. The LDR also brings some added challenges. Yes, I think you will hear from him. Use this time to focus on YOU. I know you want him in your life and that story is still being written, but also teach yourself to move forward with him, if that is the path that unfolds. Take a look at some of the resources I offer on my Products Page (via website menu). Having a comprehensive blueprint on how to deal with all the various things that might happen will benefit you. There are some other things there that might be a fit. Best of luck to you my friend.

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