I Want My Ex Back But He Wont Even Talk To Me

402 thoughts on “I Want My Ex Back But He Won’t Talk To Me”

Ashley

August 4, 2019 at 6:41 am

Hi,
I don’t normally turn to these kinds of things, airing my love life or “failed love life” for the world to see but I don’t know how to move forward. I know the answer is more than likely going to be that I need to cut my losses and move on but I just can’t let him go without a real chance at trying this again.

My ex and I had a relatively short relationship, only 8 months, and I’m not someone to rush into a relationship but he is the first person I’ve been with where everything just “clicked”.

I had been single for a long while, 3 years to be exact, and I certainly wasn’t looking to jump into another serious relationship unless I felt a real connection with someone. Small flings here and there, but nothing serious.

A mutual friend wanted to set us up, much to my dismay. He wasn’t looking for anything serious either, both of us not expecting much out of this set up being the cynics that we both are, but when we met, it was like I found the missing piece to the puzzle that is my life.

It was an instant connection that only got stronger the more time we spent together. He became not just a lover but my best friend and absolute favorite person. He travels for work so unfortunately from the beginning it was going to be a long distance relationship but it isn’t the first one I’ve been in. We took turns visiting each other and always keeping in contact even if it was a just simple good morning/good night text. Both of us being independent and not needing constant contact it worked out just fine for us.

Her kept asking us to move in together but I was adamant that we should take things slow and just let our relationship progress at a natural pace rather than try to rush into things before we were ready. He respected my decision on that but he also never stopped asking.

Our relatinship was progressing comfortably, meeting each other’s families, introducing me to his son, and even spending his weekends home with his son and I. At least until he was going to be going away for a undisclosed amount of time, with no idea if we would be able to work out any kind of visitation while he was gone. Before he left he promised we could make it work, that he wanted us to still be together. But not even gone two days and all I get is radio silence for a week.
I asked him honestly if he was having doubt’s, if this was him ghosting me and if so then I would move on and leave him alone but he insisted that wasn’t the case, that he was just stressed with work, and he would try harder to keep in touch.
Another week of minimal contact and I told him that I couldn’t continue our relationship if he wouldn’t talk to me when I already couldn’t see him in person. He apologized said he wished he could have treated me better and that he loved every minute of our time together but he didn’t feel he could give me the relationship that I wanted. Not even a week later and he was in a relationship with somebody else.
I took a step back did the no contact period to grieve and better myself. I didn’t contact him in any way for almost 2 months. When I did reach out to him it was casual and we talked on and off for 3 weeks. It was great, we were laughing together again, sharing old jokes and funny memories, even talking about when he was possibly going to be in the area again. His girlfriend found out we were talking and then accused me of stalking her on social media, creating fake accounts to harass her. She gave him an ultimatum to either stop all contact with me or they were breaking up. He contacted me to tell me to leave his girlfriend alone and the last thing that I said to him I said I was sorry for whatever was happening but I wasn’t harassing her and I would give him any proof that he needed but I respected his wishes and I would leave him alone. That was the last time I ever heard from him.

It’s been almost 2 months since we last spoke and I don’t know how to fix this or even if I can. I know I didn’t do anything wrong but he seems to believe that I did all these horrible things his girlfriend is accusing me of and wouldn’t give me a chance to prove my innocence.
I haven’t contacted him in anyway, and I’m pretty sure even if I tried he has probably blocked my number as he’s already blocked me on every other form of social media.

I know this is probably a lost cause, but I can’t simply give up on someone who means this much to me. Not yet. I’d appreciate any advice.
Ankita Roy

July 17, 2019 at 1:37 pm

I came in relation with my best friend…we had the strongest bond till 4 years and then we came in relation…i am a girl and i talked with my bf’s ex gf even after he told me not to talk but this got better everything went smooth until one day i told his mom i want to visit the terrace in your home which his misunderstood and he got too much scolding…he told me not to talk with him as we r in class 12 and we must study now…he will keep frndship with me after that if possible…but then i begged him for 2 days then he blocked me and told he never wants to talk with me…what should i do?
Miranda

July 10, 2019 at 4:49 am

Hey Chris,

We had been talking since March and he was kinda distant at first because his ex wife cheated on him twice and he left her in December but we took things slow and he asked me to be his girlfriend the first of June then told me two weeks later that he loved me and that my last ex was my last ex. He always told me how happy I made him and that he hasn’t felt something so genuine and real in a long time and even talked about stuff with our future together. A week after he told me he loved me he broke up with me out of the blue and said that he didn’t think he should’ve gotten into a relationship so soon and he needed more time to figure himself out. Just a few days ago we talked things out and he said he wanted to talk again and I was the one and all he could think about constantly then the next day he said he needed to stick with his original plan to end it right now because talking would get us right back to where we were and he wasn’t ready for that. I have left him alone and implemented no contact but noticed that he has unfollowed and unfriended me on all social media but I still love him and want him back. I don’t know what to do
Luke

July 7, 2019 at 5:39 pm

I broke up with my ex during a row about 2 weeks ago, at first I thought that was what I wanted because I didn’t trust him and we had some issues around communicating, it was also my first relationship. I practically ignored him for 3 days then felt I had made a mistake and let a lot of emotional texts out toward him which I think pushed him further away in which I apologised for what I felt I didn’t do right in the relationship. I waited a few days and he text me but when I replied said he just was worried about me but didn’t seem to talk much after that. Again another 3 days and I messaged him at which point he again didn’t seem to interested. We haven’t spoken for a week now and I have a feeling he is speaking to someone else, I have decided not to talk to him again for another week after reading your articles I’m just not so sure it will work as I did everything wrong in the first few days since we broke up. This is a gay relationship I’m 25 and he is 37 just for info.

Chris Seiter

July 7, 2019 at 7:16 pm

Hi Luke…. I think you are on the right track. No Contact periods usually run three to four weeks as there are a lot of moving pieces, with the biggest one being some healing and recovery on your end. Take a look at my Program, “EBR PRO” as it is designed to help you see the bigger picture of how to tackle all of this.

Maha

July 2, 2019 at 9:51 pm

My ex took me for granted i got really angry and i shouted on him n said things like u dont love me I’m breaking up n all i said soo many things he replied with soo many things but he never stopped me from leaving i never wanted to leave i was just angry he told me to leave now bcz i said I’m breaking up i called him 17 times he didnt pick up i told my friend to talk to him but he still said tht she was the one who decided to break up now even if she changed her decision i wont i called him again 2 times but he didnt pick up we are in the sem class in university he ignores me like i never existed in his life like he never loved me after the break up on the 4th day i called him again for 25 times but he declined my all calls. After tht i stop calling him n now I’m in no contact he ignores me soo badly in class it hurtss it hurts so much
Michael

June 10, 2019 at 4:22 am

My gf broke up with after 4 yrs together. We have had two short breakups prior. The night that ended it we were together in bed and I opened a msg on my phone that a male friend sent me which contained images of girls but not pornograpic. My gf went into a rage and I also denied and lied to her about what I was looking at because I care about her and didn’t want her to think that it was from another woman. It has been a month already and I have msged her, told her the truth about what happened and apologised. I haven’t heard from her in a month and not sure if she has blocked me or is ignoring me. We had a very good relationship and had talked about a future together but am worried that I have lost her forever. Please help.
Christine Burnett

April 13, 2019 at 7:34 pm

I’ve been dating this guy for 2 months, our conversations were always great between us and the chemistry between is undeniable, we have a lot in common and neither of us is involved with anyone else.
About 2 weeks ago… the last time I saw or spoke with him, we spent all day together and we talked intently like we usually do. Sine then he hasn’t called or texted and I’ve seen him 3 times through mutual friends but we didn’t speak much or hang out.
So I’m kinda confused, did I do or say something wrong?
I haven’t tried to contact him at all because I figured if he wanted to see or talk to me he would reach out.
Delphine

April 12, 2019 at 3:25 am

My ex broke up with me back in September 2018. We were together for 3 years. Very serious and loving relationship overall. We had however a few arguments because I couldn’t trust him…not because I had any reason not to, but because I had been betrayed in previous relationships and it had traumatized me. We were working together so post break up was very difficult. I attempted two NC. We slept together a couple of times (that was a mistake). My second NC worked well and my ex slowly came back/stopped ignoring me. I felt more happy, got a new job, traveled on my own for the first time in my life, and use social media to show how happy and good my life was. We started to date again at the beginning of February 2019. It lasted 6 weeks. We were texting everyday (mainly initiated by him) and were seeing each other once a week. We were sleeping together too. Our dates were great but I could tell he was still worried and had lots of fears in his head. I didn’t show any emotions or talked about us/the breakup during those 6 weeks. I was focusing on having a good time, making him feel comfortable and was showing him how much I have changed. He did notice the change but was still scared (so he said). 3 weeks ago we had another great date, everything was going well, then 3 days later I tried to invite him on a date and he sent me the following text out of the blue: “I’m really sorry but I just need to be single and focus on myself”. I was devastated, didn’t understand why he suddenly would send me that after our great dates and felt really disrespected…But clearly he has a lot going on, and unfortunately I can’t force him to be with me. Therefore I simply responded with: “I understand, thanks for letting me know.” Since that, we haven’t spoken and we haven’t seen each other. I feel very very sad and hurt. I don’t know if we will ever talk again. And I miss him a lot. Is everything lost? Should I just move on? All my friends are telling me I should move on…I feel hopeless.
Michelle

April 8, 2019 at 4:10 pm

I was with my ex for over a year.. he told me he loved me and I was his rock but the last 2 weeks I will admit I became needy he told me to stop or it was over .. I was devastated.. for a year he told me it was ok to need him until it wasn’t .. so I told him I would try but it didn’t work out he kept blaming me for stuff so I told him if he I was that bad I would give him what he wanted and end it.. that was 2 weeks ago.. my mom got sick he knew I was under pressure .. he didn’t even call me to see if she was ok .. I desperately called him once and he told me he couldn’t do it anymore and that we were never getting back together.. I haven’t called him since and vise versa .. is it really over?
Kylie B

April 4, 2019 at 10:51 am

I was with my ex for over 3 years and he moved in with me for the last 8 months of our relationship. We had ended a few times but never for more than a few days. About 2 weeks ago we had a huge argument which resulted in me asking him to move out there and then which he did. I tried to call him a few days after but he has blocked my number. We don’t have social media so cannot contact him that way. He is, by his own mothers words, very unforgiving and angry. He holds on to bitterness. Will no contact ever work in this situation in terms of a reconciliation? I miss him

Chris Seiter

April 4, 2019 at 10:26 pm

Hi Kylie…I do think you will benefit (and him too) with NC. Read about it on my site or pick up one of my comprehensive resources (EBR PRO) that can help you throughout this process!

Sarah

March 28, 2019 at 8:34 am

We had been together for a year. He broke up with me 2 weeks ago because I was uncomfortable with a situation between him and a girl he’d been hanging out with. He turned that into that I took all his friends away from him and I controlled him too much. I know well that I didn’t because I always made a point of not being THAT GIRLFRIEND. He was some what heartless about it and now won’t talk to me. The one time I did approach him and said ” what do you want?” In the sort of tone that made me wanna start crying. Since then I have texted him twice regaurding the fact that I need something of mine he still has back. And he hasn’t replied. I feel as though he broke up with me out of anger and possibly the influence of someone else because it was so out of the blue. I still feel that it was a stupid thing to break up over and can’t help but think surely he’ll come around. ?? Am I just being hopeful? And how do I find the closure I need in this situation/or get him back. ??

Chris Seiter

April 1, 2019 at 10:42 pm

Have you considered No Contact Sarah? It can do a lot for the healing side of this matter as well as potentially help with the ex recovery side of the equation. Take a look at my Program as it may help you in many ways.

Tracy

March 27, 2019 at 12:30 pm

Hi I’ve been texting him for the last 3 weeks he’s ignored my texts I told him I accepted the breakup nd it was for the best and time to move on do I try the no contact rule on him because every time I’ve tried I broke it

Chris Seiter

March 27, 2019 at 9:27 pm

Hi Tracy! It seems the No Contact approach would be the right fit. Pick up my Program so you can learn to do it correctly!

Mandy

March 5, 2019 at 3:26 am

I had a break up 3 weeks back and of course I am hurting real bad. We dated for 8 months and it was really good and we had a great time.i thought he was the one and he loved me a lot and initiated everything.He broke up with me because he is leaving the country for a dream job and all i wanted was for us to make most of our time in the next 6 months till he left and may be try long distance. I love him very much and do want him back but he won’t even talk to me until I initiate. I am trying no contact but there isn’t much time.

Chris Seiter

March 5, 2019 at 4:41 am

Hi Mandy….I am sorry your are hurting. There are alot recovery activities I talk about in my Program that could help. Indeed, the most important thing one should focus on after a breakup is their healing and recovery because without that, we are a mess. Take a look at some of my resources as I think they will help you a lot!

Shabby

January 27, 2019 at 6:47 am

My boyfriend or ex boyfriend ( now I guess lol ) has been dating talking since almost 10 months. It’s a long distance relationship and we haven’t met each other yet but we had a plan to meet up on my birthday which is on February 21st. We had small arguments but my bf was taking them too far and that caused so much problems into our relationship. Every time I wanted to communicate with him, he was telling me that I’m very petty and immature. in every arguments , he was cussing me out and calling me names and made me to do stuff I didn’t want to do but i did everything he made me to do in the past 9-10 months because I love him. He promised me that I’ll be his forever and he’s be only mine and suddenly, it’s been almost 3 weeks, he started ignoring me out of nowhere and I tried to speak to him but he refuses to talk to me. I asked him why are you ignoring me and he said that I’m a very petty person and immature and I need to grow up then he’ll talk to me normal. He asked me to leave him alone and I did! I stopped texting him and calling him but he was snapping me because he didn’t want to lose the streak we had. I messaged him and said there’s no point for us to keep a streak when you don’t want to talk to me and he deleted me off snap right after I said that to him. I don’t know if he broke up with me completely or not. At this point I’m just so confused and don’t know what to do. Any advices ?
Jessie

January 16, 2019 at 1:12 am

We broke up on our 4 year anniversary per his suggestion. There werent any initial clear reasons for the break up. We had been arguing a lot and we’ve “broken up” a few times before but never for more than a week and once before at the very beginning for about a month (We’re both in our 20s I’m away in college so it’s hard to keep a long distance relationship alive sometimes). But there had been some major blows to the relationship leading up; nothing along the lines of cheating or abuse. But he liked to drink, we both did and sometimes we’d drink and do damage to the relationship, there have been times where we would drink and then an argument comes and it just got volatile between us. We’d say things we don’t mean and Sometimes he’d get so drunk, he’d literally have a nervous breakdown bc he’d been using drinking as coping mechanism for so long so he often would get so drunk anything would trigger him & he couldn’t control himself. Every time he’d have an “episode” we followed the same cycle: I’d say I didn’t want to deal w/ this anymore, he’d say leave then but of course I wouldn’t or I would but come back after clearing my head. He’d say after he’ll stop drinking and I’d believe him and he would for maybe a week or 2. We would often get through an activity of drinking with no issues but he was easily triggered when he drinks so I never could tell until the night was over and had gone smoothly. Sometimes it was just too much but I couldn’t leave him b/c I felt like he just needed someone to love him inspite of his deep rooted emotional demons, he had a rough life but we both did. I believe We both love each other very much and had a great relationship but there were a lot of emotional issues which ultimately caused the break up. I didn’t always feel supported by him emotionally (he was a great boyfriend outside of that) and he always made me feel like my emotional shortfalls or feelings were foreign to him. we loved each other but couldn’t meet each other in the middle with communicating. The final blowout came on our anniversary. I wanted to stay home but he wanted to go out to the bar so we went. Drinking insued (lots) and the night was coming to a perfect close when some girl started talking crap to him ( I wasn’t actually standing there so I’m not sure what she even said) but he told me and I didn’t intervene I actually walked away from him and not for any particular reason but I just didn’t wanna have drama and I was drunk. Well that triggered him emmensly, we began to argue and he said that I never stood up for him which made me feel awful bc I had been by his side and looking out for him Since we met, and yet he said that’s how he felt bc of this one girl and he said I’d done it before but it’s said because that’s how I felt emotionally like he was never there for me. He left that night and drove home and I spent the whole night begging him to talk to me. We spoke the next day he said that he wished I loved him and I just felt so defeated bc none of it was true I had said and done things before that may have left questions but I’m human and I’m not perfect I never betrayed his trust or cheated and I was always there for him even before my own self sometimes. We didn’t speak after that and He broke it off officially a few days later, he said that he hadnt been happy in a while and every time we “worked things out” they’d crumble again which I guess is true but I felt like we never really worked things out to begin w more like glazing over them and the biggest obvious issue: the drinking. but he just won’t acknowledge that which sucks bc I think if we both stopped drinking we could truly have a beautiful relationship. He initially suggested a break or a break up but I don’t really believe in breaks or trust them so I angrily agreed to the break up. Of course I was devasted about 6 days went by he texted me to talk about our phone plan together and how we would break that down. I of course brought up the relationship to no response. A few days went by and I got drunk smh and gnatted him to the point he blocked my number I just kept begging him to talk to me and tell me how to fix it. I won’t be contacting him again bc now I just feel so emotionally drained from the whole ordeal I cried every day/night for literally 2 weeks straight. I love him very much and I know we both have some growing to do but I’m going to focus on myself. I do hope deep down there’s still hope for him, hope for us. Is there?

Chris Seiter

January 16, 2019 at 4:01 am

Hi Jessie…It is best to pull the focus on you and getting emotionally healthy.

Kris

December 28, 2018 at 7:32 pm

We were to get her just over 2 years.. I cheated.i lied and went on a date with another guy and kissed him… I came clean about it.
Now, he wants nothing to do with me. Hes told me it’s over for good and can never been intimate with me again or ever trust me again. He’s blocked me and won’t speak to me.
I’m a wreck. I know I made a mistake.
I broke NC 2x within the first 1.5 week but decided to respect his request for space and began NC 12/21..He stopped by my house yesterday to return my belongings.
I ran into him as I pulled into my driveway. And he made the comment the he had hoped He wouldn’t run into me. He didn’t want to talk and told me he was uncomfortable and things were still too fresh.
Along with my things He made sure to put in our both of our Christmas stockings , which felt like a slap in the face. And a clear indication he wants nothing to do with me.
What do I do? Will he ever reach back out or is he really done? Do I have a chance? Do I initiate contact after NC period or just put the ball in his court?
I want to work things out But i feel so hopeless

Chris Seiter

December 29, 2018 at 2:17 am

Hi Kris!

So we all make mistakes. Learn from the past, but move forward. Sometimes giving each other time and space is the best medicine, so I agree with implementing no contact, but do it in the way I teach it in my Program and all the other things too.

Amy carver

December 28, 2018 at 11:39 am

Hello me and my ex has been together for three year’s and I have four children all together one is his and she only one about a week ago I went to pick him up from work and he got into my car smelling like hevey weed I got very emotional and he was lieing to me about it so I got mad and as we was driving and agurment he was on his phone talking to his dad telling his dad I’m a MF and this is what he has to deal with all the time I got more upset cuz he was lying so I pulled my car over and to him to get out out and to give me my phone he started yelling at me too his lungs I said I Don’t care just get out he did and started walking and I drove off we haven’t talk till tonight and the only reason why is because I dropped him a bday gift off at his mom’s but didn’t see him or talk just left he texted said he thanked me and he asked what I was doing I said I was at a friend’s house and then he SAID HAVE FUN WITH UR NEW BOYFRIEND and I was at a girl’s house and he stopped texting me what can I do to get him to realize I love him And tried and I care . He won’t talk now and he won’t text he won’t even call his daughter didn’t spend Christmas with her didn’t call her nothing please tell me what I should do please to get him bk

Chris Seiter

December 29, 2018 at 2:23 am

Hi Amy!

Sounds like you could use an ex recovery plan. Do you have my eBook?

Rebecca

December 27, 2018 at 1:45 am

I am a wreck my bf and I have been together 11 years and we been through a lot together I supported him for so long. We had arguments a long the way but usually resolved in a day or two. Just over a week ago had massive argument I was at fault caused embarrassment to him and myself . He ended it. I tried to resolve but he couldn’t forgive me and said enough is enough. I not heard from him for over week. I’m struggling but trying the no contact but to be honest he already doing this to me. Any advice I’m trying to move on but finding it so upsetting I’m devastated. Do you think after 11 years no contact would work ?

Chris Seiter

December 27, 2018 at 3:42 am

Hi Rebecca!

Hange in there Rebecca…you are going to get thru this. There are a ton of resources on my site that can help you in the healing and recovery area. 11 years is a good amount of time….roots get laid down…traction is established….all of which can act as an invisible force that can pull you together. So, allow No Contact to settle things down and use it to heal and focus on reinforcing your value and all the other things I talk about in my Program.

Kelly Rose

December 19, 2018 at 12:31 pm

My ex and I dated for 3 years. a month ago I noticed a change in behavior, he started visiting less, texting less. When I asked him about it he said he is under a lot of pressure at work I tried encouraging him and be as supportive as I could, helping him job hunt. A few days I confronted him about ignoring my text not calling like he use to, telling him that he is different and doesn’t do the things he use to this all under a months time. he then said he knows and he needs to change and we can work on us. I agreed and asked if there is anything he would want me to change in behavior his response was no. Then in a just a few day he told me he needed space again I then told him lets take a full break of 30 days and he agreed. A few days after that I found out he has been flirting in a sexual nature with 3 other girls I know of in the course of our relationship. I never saw this coming and was devastated, however I pulled myself together and approached him about it and he cried telling me he is disgusted in himself and I told him if he can promise me to that those flirtation will stop and it wasn’t more then that I forgive him and we can work on moving forward. He agreed and kissed me and hugged me and apologized. The very next day he told me he wants us to break up and he cant forgive himself for what he did to me. I didn’t see this coming I asked him how can he simply just throw away the life we built the plans we made and he told me he just wants to be alone. My heart is so broken and I think this is the hardest break up I ever had to deal with simply because I didn’t see it coming because our relationship was so damn good, he was my best friend my everything and I’ve lost him. We have been broken up for 2 weeks and he blocked me and has not made contact since like I never existed in his life, like this 3 years never happened.

Chris Seiter

December 20, 2018 at 2:55 am

Hi Kelly!

I know you are hurting. Take a look at my Program. Its meant to help you in the hurt department, but also provide you a road map on how to proceed. You seem ot be a good candidate for implementing No Contact.

Angela

December 2, 2018 at 1:25 am

Hi, my ex and I were together for nearly 5 years. He has some issues from his childhood which he tends to block out with alcohol. At first I didn’t speak to him for 6 or so weeks (hoping he would stand on his own feet). Then out of the blue he sent two texts saying he still loves me and always will & that he’s met someone. He then came to collect his stuff and was very defensive and looked like crap (up all night drinking). After he left it it hit me and hurt. So I tried to contact him a few times and he blocked me (even appears to have changed his number). I’m devastated and want to talk to him. I’ve started no contact and intend to send a platonic Christmas card. What do you think ? He doesn’t have any social media at all or his friends. Thanks

Chris Seiter

December 2, 2018 at 2:24 am

Hi Angela….5 years is meaningful in that it is traction and can come into play later. Yes, no contact can help in many ways. Be sure to roll it out in the way I teach it in my Program. Hop on over to my home page to learn more about all the resources and tools available to you!

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402 thoughts on “I Want My Ex Back But He Won’t Talk To Me”