5 Powerful Methods To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Regret Losing You

1,759 thoughts on “How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Regret Letting You Go”

lily

January 23, 2014 at 5:57 pm

hi i just wanted to say that today is my first day after the no contact period of 30days. i facebook messaged my ex and he replied instantly. i just told him how is he and what is he doing then he said that he’s okay and he said how about me, so i said im alright then he also asked what im doing, i just told him that im taking a bath. he replied 3 hours later, he said okay. but i didn’t see it immediately since i went to school then to church, so i’ve seen his message after 3 hours. i just said replied that hi, im home. what’s up? then we proceeded to have a chit chat for about 40 minutes with 5-10 minutes chat interval. we just talked about random stuff like he now knew that im going to the gym and we just kinda talked Buddhism and keanu reeves lol. he said he was watching a korean film and i said okay, you go ahead and focus on watching it. and after that, he didn’t reply. so i didn’t reply too…am i doing this correctly? sorry for the long and too detailed story…i just wanted you to really help me out…i’ve been here in your site like after the first week we broke up and up until now. what i can say is your site is really genuine compared to others out there that looks like they are just after some money. they promise fast and easy results which really feels like some bogus crap. meanwhile here, i can feel the sincerity of your advises and words. thank you so much chris! =)) btw, tomorrow, i’ll be trying the one whole day no contact period. wish me luck. =)

admin

January 24, 2014 at 5:22 am

Hahahahahaha just take it one day at a time.

Carolyn

January 23, 2014 at 12:31 am

Hi Chris….

My boyfriend broke up with me about 3 weeks ago. We were doing long distance but managed to see each other about every 2 weeks. I did not see the break up coming and obviously want him back or i wouldnt be on this site!!

He texted me “miss” 3 nights ago. We always used to say this as in I miss you. I replied “what?” because I wasn’t sure what he meant since we had been NC. He replied “sorry im drunk nvm”. I didn’t respond.
What does this mean!?
My birthday is this coming Saturday. I’m trying not to get my hopes up but I really want him to ask me back.

Please any advice you could give me would be sosososo appreciated!

admin

January 24, 2014 at 4:49 am

I take it as a good sign… just keep laying back for now. Don’t be too available for him.

Lauren

January 22, 2014 at 9:37 pm

Hello Chris,

My ex-boyfriend and I just broke up about 2 weeks ago. He got into a bad situation where a girl hit on him, but thankfully he told her “no”. I, of course, was distraught by this and I ended things with him. Since then I have been wishing I had him back. We have talked a few times and he has told me things very recently on how he thinks about me “literally all of the time”, thinks of our dates we have had, how he is not happy with his life, and he was supposed to marry me, etc. Well I thought this was a good sign, but I came to find out that he has been hanging out with another girl. My guess is that she is a rebound, but not a very good one because he has even told me that every single time he hangs with her that all he does is think of me and he is “consumed with guilt”. In my opinion and knowing him it looks like he wants to come back to me, but is too chicken to tell this girl that he is not interested. I am just curious to know if I am reading all of the signs wrong or if I am perhaps on the right path? In the beginning of the break up, I even kept telling him how I wanted my things back from him and all he does is tell me no and how I could never be out of the picture. I think that deep down he knows he is coming back to me. What do you think?

admin

January 24, 2014 at 4:41 am

I think you are reading the signs right BUT don’t get overly excited about them. situations like this are very very delicate.
Lauren

January 27, 2014 at 6:06 pm

I completely agree. For 2 weeks he has been rarely texting me, but over the weekend he has been spamming my phone. I went to dinner with my friend and in 1 hour he texted me over 5 times. If I do not respond to him in 20mins or less, I should expect another message from him. He has also been telling me what he has been up to this weekend. For 2 weeks he’s been hanging out with the guys and possibly a girl he doesn’t like, but now he’s telling me that all he does is sit around the house and go to the gym. I believe him too because if he were hanging out with a girl then there would be hours in between the times that I get his texts. He also has been driving me crazy asking me what I’ve been doing and if I don’t tell him specifics then he freaks out that I’m at the club or doing something crazy, which is definitely not me. I’m a committed to my school work kind of girl. Recently through his texts it appears to be a cry for “I want to come back”, but then today he came by because he needed help with homework and he was kind of nonchalant. He was almost too casual, but just the night before he was begging me to tell him what I was up to. Do you understand what I am saying? He’s freaking out in text, but today in person it wasn’t like that. He also could be hiding his feelings since he is a man, no offense. Again, I just want to make sure I am reading the signs right. You say in your blogs how men deal with their emotions differently. They man hang with friends to take their mind off of it, but eventually it does catch up to them. I think that his stage of having fun and pushing it away is over. I feel like now he is finally starting to address his feelings. If I am right and he does want to come back, I would like to know a way to encourage him to start fighting for me or chasing me. Perhaps you have a blog on that.

Kate

January 22, 2014 at 8:08 pm

My ex and I dated for a year and lived together for the last few months. He broke up with me because he didn’t want kids, and I did. He started seeing a girl very similar to me a month ago, and they recently became serious. His mom emailed me last week and has been commenting on my Facebook pics about how great I look even though he has a new girlfriend. My ex doesn’t have friends in the area and no money.

Do you think even though he broke up with me that he’s using a girl similar to me to fill a void? He cried during the break up and said I was his first love. I replied to his mom’s emails and just said I was doing great. Do you think she is telling him what I’ve told her? Why would she email me when he has a new girlfriend? We’ve been NC for two months.

admin

January 24, 2014 at 4:37 am

It is possible. Does she fit the rebound traits I describe?
Kate

January 24, 2014 at 11:34 am

He started seeing her a month after we broke up then they became serious within a month. I was very calm and rational during the breakup.

Do you think his mom is keeping me on the back burner in case things don’t work out with her?

katrina

January 22, 2014 at 10:19 am

Hi chris,
I hv gone thru almst every page u wrote to help us understanding men.
I hvn’t still broken up with my bf. But my problem is dat he z acting wierd frm last 1.5 yrs. He can do everything whn HE WANTS. Nothing is in my hands. He treats me very badly. He has blocked me frm last 2 mnths. Dat means i cant even contact him. I care for him a lot and nvr treats him badly. But his behaviour gets on my nerves and it lead to an arguement alwz. He didnt spoke to me fr 20 days while i was constantly texting and calling. He kept swtchng off his phn. It drove me crazy. He called me ysterday to hv sex. But i refused as he was ignoring me and treating very badly.
He swtchd off and after dat i kept on calling texting but he didnt not replied. Now i told him dat he should stop treating me dis bad and i m getting frustrated. But he z still doing dis. He z still contacting me but only according to his moods. Oh and BTW we live in a same area (2buildings away) so its kind of tough for me to avoid him. He can come to my house anytime. How can i avoid dis??? Plz help.
And also if i enter in NC period will he start treating me nicely???

admin

January 22, 2014 at 6:09 pm

He might not treat you nicely per say but he will get so upset that he is losing control that it may make him realize how much he cares for you.

Anna

January 22, 2014 at 3:31 am

I decided to wait a shorter amount of time for the NC period. I plan on texting him either in the next few days or something. What should I say when I text him? And after that? I looked at the guide on recontacting your ex, but I don’t know if it will work because he can be very stubborn. So I was wondering what you think I should say this time and next time.

admin

January 22, 2014 at 6:01 pm

What didn’t you like about the guide?

Help!

January 22, 2014 at 2:47 am

What if no contact doesn’t work?? I have been in no contact for three months and all I notice is my ex looking at me sometimes that’s all we r not in contact. Will he miss me? Am I doing something wrong

admin

January 22, 2014 at 5:57 pm

Why do you think you are doing something wrong?
Help!

January 22, 2014 at 8:14 pm

its just its been three months and i really want him back.

Emma

January 21, 2014 at 12:01 pm

I feel like when I show my ex I’m living my life with out him I feel like he is moving on. What should I do?

admin

January 21, 2014 at 6:13 pm

Thats ok though, you kind of want him to think that.
emma

January 21, 2014 at 9:30 pm

i dont understand

Kanne

January 21, 2014 at 3:09 am

I surpassed the 30 day nc rule. I went three months. I know for certain he is still attracted to me. I should add that when I to him I had found ft work which I had been looking for since I met him last year. He was happy for me and I said now I just want the guy to enter my life. He said he would. I didn’t take it at jealous. Next time I mentioned be ready to meet someone he ignored the statement.

How should I take this?

How do I get him to commit when we text only ?

Reply

admin

January 21, 2014 at 6:08 pm

Well, have you two tried setting up a date at all?
Kanne

January 21, 2014 at 9:18 pm

I have tried to meet up with him but our schedules have collided so far.
Kanne

January 23, 2014 at 2:07 am

I have tried to meet up with him but he has been busy and sick. He is going away for two weeks and I asked to meet up when he gets back and he said definitely. Not sure if that is a bs line or not.

What do you think? How do I get gone to commit or reconsider dating me when I am not sure he knows what he wants.

Kate

January 19, 2014 at 4:17 pm

Hey Chris,
What if I have been in no contact for three months? Can it still work? We dated for three years he broke up with me. I did the 1 month no contact but he never contacted. Is it over?
madison

January 19, 2014 at 8:02 am

I’m sorry I keep asking questions and I really appreciate your time and helping me . I have a question on the NC rule I haven’t heard from my ex in eight days ( not long for him )
he might be shocked I didn’t text him back after we broke up on the phone or he is being stubborn . I’m trying so hard not to contact him but I’m scared he will just move on and I’m scared I haven’t heard anything from him should I still wait 30 days or text him sooner ?

admin

January 20, 2014 at 12:47 am

Wait the 30 days.

kanne

January 19, 2014 at 4:57 am

I broke up with my ex in June, Long story shorter…. we have kept in touch ever so often. We hooked up for a while and then I called it off three months ago. I wanted more and he was clear he didn’t. Just recently (two weeks ago) I contacted him and right away I noticed a less sarcastic tone in his texts. He seems more mellow. He wanted to hook up and I was VERY clear that I didn’t want to and he is ok with that.I said we have been down that road and he said you never know, lets see what happens ( not the first time he has said that) He tried a couple of times to hook up but, I continually said no.I told him to go contact one o his “many woman” for some sex time. He said he is not worries about that, he is having fun with me. He got the idea that without a relationship, I am not hooking up with him. I asked him to hang and he said he is willing “would love to”.

Questions: 1) Is this BS line to wear me down to hook up with me?

2) What is your take on this scenario?

admin

January 20, 2014 at 12:45 am

1. Maybe… which isn’t a good thing but it isn’t a bad thing b/c it means he is attracted to you still. The key is getting him to commit. Thats what its all about.
Kanne

January 20, 2014 at 1:16 am

I surpassed the 30 day nc rule. I went three months. I know for certain he is still attracted to me. I should add that when I to him I had found ft work which I had been looking for since I met him last year. He was happy for me and I said now I just want the guy to enter my life. He said he would. I didn’t take it at jealous. Next time I mentioned be ready to meet someone he ignored the statement.

How should I take this?

How do I get him to commit when we text only ?
Kanne

January 25, 2014 at 3:05 am

Is it just me or are replies to questions not showing?

daniella

January 18, 2014 at 5:10 pm

me and my ex boyfriend broke up a few days ago. he left to UK for doing masters for only one year and he’s coming back.
we broke up because I asked him to promise me that he’ll stay loving me when he’s far away from he. he told me not to wait for him because he might not com back, he claimed that his dad doesn’t want him to be committed with any girl or relationship up to 5 years from now because they want to start a business somewhere. he told me he can’t promise me because he doesn’t know what might happen or change in his future.
8 months ago, he promised me that if he leave to UK we’ll stay together and in a maximum of 2 years when he’s done with masters we will get engaged to each other and we’ll get married after that.
he was an amazing boyfriend to me , he was always good to me, we’ve known each other for 4 years in the university. and we’ve been in a relationship.
why did he change now? I love him and I know he loves me too. what should I do to get him back? we don’t text anymore!
Shauna

January 18, 2014 at 12:57 am

Hi, So my boyfriend broke up with me last month because he says that he is not “emotionally stable” to have a girlfriend right now. We had dated for two years and about two weeks before it happened, out of the blue he started having anxiety and panic attacks. As a result he went and saw a therapist and after that he acted so different towards me, and then broke up with me. I don’t know what happened, everything was fine one moment and the next it wasn’t….I really want to date him still and I followed the no contact rule. Just yesterday I sent him a text and I never got a reply….Do you think I should just give up and move on? Thanks so much…you website has been such a comfort to me:)
Jeanette

January 17, 2014 at 11:34 pm

This is going to sound weird. I tried waiting months and sending random texts like all the experts say to get him to talk to me. Well one day I realized it had been 4 months since I contacted him. We ended things cause I pushed him and texted and called to much to fix it. I sent a couple of those off the bow texts and nothing. I did something different. I was honest. I told him I missed my friend and take responsibility in my part of everything that happened. I told him I would like to earn his trust back. He responded. We started texting. He even in a round about way I asked me if I had a boyfriend. He asked when I moved if I moved in with my boyfriend. I told I him I was kind of seeing someone a while back but not anymore. He told me his dad was not doing well and I sympathized with him. He did not want to let me go in text message. I kept everything on the friend level.

He asked me to come over to talk. He said he would probably be laying down cause he wasn’t feeling well. He wasn’t. He was really sick. I got there and we just slept near each other. He got up to throw up a few times but you could tell he felt awful. He was dosed out on meds. He didn’t even want to talk at this point. He made some comments on how bad he must look and kept his cap on the entire time.

I asked him guy advice on how to let this guy I know down gently and he did not seem that happy about talking about that.

I told him I understood what he meant about us being to different and how we were raised differently. He didn’t like that.

I hugged him when I left and told him I hope everything works out with his dad on his trip and I hope he feels better.

I did sympathize with him while I was there.

Does it seem like he’s opening the door to communicating. This happened on Tuesday. I haven’t heard from him but haven’t texted him. I was thinking of Monday or Tuesday sending this “Hey, I hope everything goes well with your dad’s chemo. I know its probably hard for you but it’s wonderful you are with them. I will be praying for you guys. You take care of yourself.”

Any advice on how to play this! Any advice would be appreciated.

Jeanette

January 27, 2014 at 2:32 pm

So I waited till that sunday and sent ““Hey, I hope everything goes well with your dad’s chemo. I know its probably hard for you but it’s wonderful you are with them. I will be praying for you guys. You take care of yourself.”

I got a “Thank You” response.

Thursday the weather was bad and I sent a “I wish I was somewhere hot right now. It’s too cold to do anything.”

Got no response.

Sunday I sent a “Hey you, how are you doing today buddy.”

He sent “Just yucky allergies.”

I waited and then replied a bit later

Oh never mind, Just watched Mortal Intrument with a friend yesterday. Totally a movie you would like. You should check it out;-) hope you feel better soon…take care.

Got nothing back but I ended the converstation.

His responses are short. Hes not initiating anything. I saw him that day he asked me over but maybe for him it was just hanging out. We are on the same dating site and I see him on there all the time. Is my situation hopeless. I know this is not going to happen over night.

What do I do?

I don’t feel I am re-atracting him or peaking any interest.

This is an update to the above.

Emma

January 17, 2014 at 9:07 am

My ex is going into month 3 dating his new gf… We have been keeping in touch just about every 3 days…he texted me before Christmas saying that he “still thinks of me and he hopes he didn’t make a mistake” … But since then he has done nothing to come back to me.. The last I heard from him was 8 days ago..so naturally I am starting the NC rule AGAIN… He travels for work and his in a different city everyday …I am worried about the whole “out of site out of mind thing…” I haven’t texted or call him.. And it’s hard! what is the typical time frame guys start feeling the lost during the NC time?? 🙂 thanks Chris
Abigail

January 16, 2014 at 6:09 pm

Hello Chris,

First of all let me just say that you are a wonderful person, and I appreciate all the time that you invest on us women. Your advice gives those who are lost in despair like myself something to look forward to. Anyways to start let me just say that, for me it has been a tough thing to go through without my ex. We dated for 11 months, and he broke up with me for selfish reasons. He played the victim card on me and told me that he loved me, but that he had to let me go cause he did not want to hurt me. I also found out on the day of the break up that he was interested on someone he had met at a party, I was away at work that day. His excuses were we were not meant to be, you and I are not into the same things such as, video games, music, blah, blah, blah. He said that he wanted out cause my job consumed me too much and so did my family. I think his decision was based on what his friends told him, he did make me look like the jerk and well I figured he is much more into the chick he’s with right now cause they both seam to share the same interests. I will admit there were mistakes and failures on my part as a girlfriend. We were suppose to get counseling for our relationship, but he said that the relationship was too damaged and that there was nothing to be done. He did ask me if I would ever forgive him for cheating. As a woman I feel he did it just to give it a chance with her, because he did say that he was not going to sacrifice his happiness just to make me happy. And that he wasn’t even sure about us since the beginning, then why the heck did he stay for 11 months?

Ever since that I feel betrayed, at times I try to convince myself that it will be fine without him. Who am I kidding? I love him very much, I feel like I have lost my best friend, and now that he has a new toy I feel like there is nothing else I can do. However, I read your post on becoming someone that he will regret letting go, and so far I have lost drastic weight, I changed my hair, I bought a new wardrobe. And I’m considering on learning an instrument. My question is you think he will crack someday? I mean we have been in NC since thanksgiving day. I know him too well and I think it’s futile to try and wait for initiation on his part, especially since he speaking to someone and I quote “who understands me and she comforts me”. As much as I tell myself “don’t expect him to come back” I feel like I am lying to myself cause that’s all I want. To me he is playing the angry guy, as well as the stubborn guy, what do you think?

Oneofmany

January 20, 2014 at 5:49 pm

I want to see the reply to this one. I can relate 100%

Isla

January 16, 2014 at 4:58 pm

What if you work together and were friends prior for several years? We were together for a year, he said he was selfish and didn’t like being in a relationship (he’s never in a long term or serious relationship before me, he’s mid-40’s) I have already cried and for us to try again (one week after the break up), he declined. After that he texted to be friends and I agreed because we have to work together. We have cordial hellos and good byes, nothing deep and very few conversations. He was on vacation for a week and I the week after. We’ve had no contact except for these light daily interactions. This has been going on for 4 weeks (5 since break up, 4 since I asked for him back). Does this count as no contact? I can’t avoid him completely at work but he’s not contact me outside of work and I haven’t contacted him. Just wondering if I can still use the system when we actually see each other 5 days a week at work? Thank you! 🙂
Annette

January 16, 2014 at 3:20 pm

How do you get back a ex boyfriend who has love addiction who is confused in his life and is afraid of commitment yet deep in side you know he is a good person. I know he cared for me and he is confused from his past hurts. I know this sounds crazy and any woman would run from him. I know deep inside he cared for me yet he moved on to another woman and yet he says he is not happy. Now he says he does not know what love is anymore. Yet I felt love with him. I am giving him his space. I hate playing the dating games at 50 yrs old. I believed communication is important. To show weakness because you care confuses me? What man would not want a woman who could make a change in their life for the better? How to make him not afraid of commitment again?
Maria

January 16, 2014 at 11:20 am

Hi Chris! Thank you again for these articles… I was just thinking I’m starting to finally understand guys and that’s definitely something!

The thing is, after me and my ex started talking again (sometimes in a friendly way, we screwed it up and ended arguing a couple times…) and he told me he misses me and that he feels regret sometimes but is not prepared for a relationship… I decided to ask him for a fresh start and try to know each other for real this time, no hard feelings or anything, just like we didn’t know each other.

We are in this whatsapp group we both talk and we have some common friends… and I don’t want to be rude again and leave the group but also I think I need to put him in no contact again.

Any advice? Do you think 15 days would be OK? Should I stop talking in this group as long as I’m in no contact?

Thank you A LOT!

Maria

January 19, 2014 at 10:31 pm

You must be busy to reply and all, but yet…

We talkd today, there’s this chick at his work who he likes and “they’re trying to know each other”. Also, he said that he sometimes thinks about getting back with me. Yep, no contact, amirite?

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1,759 thoughts on “How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Regret Letting You Go”