5 Powerful Methods To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Regret Losing You

1,759 thoughts on “How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Regret Letting You Go”

Lindsay

February 3, 2014 at 3:43 am

So, my ex recently broke up with me (about two weeks) we were living together and have a 19month old son. For the longest time he would talk about marriage with me and having more kids, our relationship wasn’t great, but we were there for each other and always tried to move forward. After having an argument, we decided it would be best to split up, but after thinking about it for a day, I decided I wanted to work things out. When I brought my feeling up to him, he said he could be in a romantic relationship with me anymore, and wanted to shift our relationship to a friendship ( mostly for our son, I guess) after a week I moved out, but while I was still there, we did have sex and would act as if nothing was really going on, things were actually pleasant at times. So when the day came to leaving he helped my pack up, when I got to my new city, I texted him asking how he felt and he said relieved. It pains me and angers me, especially because we had sex and he was really engaged, we even cuddled a little after (I asked him about it, and he says he only did it out of needs) of course I haven’t started the “no contact phase” but I’m starting now. Obviously we have to keep contact for our son, but I plan to not call him about anything until he calls me. He is now talking to a friend of his, who was his best friend (a girl) they haven’t spoken in a couple of years, but they got back in touch when we broke up. Any advice? Thanks
Sabrina

February 3, 2014 at 2:45 am

Hi chris! Im on 2months NC already, my exbf is still with his new gf for 3months, i havent contact my ex because of his gf snooping around. His mom isnt responding to my messages. I just heard of today that he is awfully thin now that you can see his cheekbones protruding, in short he became the worst version of himself while he is with the new gf. He is not like this, he used to be smart sexy, great bod.. Is depression starts kicking in him?

Thank you chris

admin

February 3, 2014 at 6:09 pm

You realize you can contact him right?
Sabrina

February 4, 2014 at 12:36 am

I do, know but it was always me who was trying to reached out to him before i did the NC, practically begging and did all the effort.

Robyn Foster

February 2, 2014 at 9:32 pm

Hey Chris great website,
My ex dumped me 2 weeks ago very randomly we were ok just a few problems that were on the mend. we were together for 3 years. He dumped me through his sister on text then before i had a chance to call him he blocked my number and blocked me on Facebook and instagram.
i saw him when i was on the bus and he was walking on the street and he wouldn’t stop staring
How can i do 30 day no contact if he has blocked me?

admin

February 3, 2014 at 5:58 pm

You can still do 30 day NC but is there any way you can get a hold of him after it? Facebook? Email? Something? Anything?

Tess

February 2, 2014 at 6:43 am

So, this guy and I were never really together as such but we talked everyday via text and spent at least two nights a week with each other not always having sex but just spending time together. This was in July, his ex of five years had left him in about May and his dad had dies in April so said he did not want a relationship. Then we got close and talked about the future, we had a little fight as I was feeling really upset one night as he seemed distant and sex had stopped. He text me saying he did not want a relationship, still wanted to see me as friends and I told him I really really want to say yes but I will be the one hurt. So I stopped talking to him, after one day he texts me asking if I was enjoying the sun and about his day??? Should I text back as I can see us together we get on well, same values everything I have been looking for?
Suzie

February 1, 2014 at 3:02 pm

Hi Chris,
Great site! It has been so helpful to me during this difficult time. I broke up with my boyfriend on the 7/01/14 so not very long ago. After a few days of feeling elated I realised what a terrible mistake I made, but then decided it was for the best and tried to move on with zero contact. He contacted me on the 28th and he was quite angry because I had never given him a full reason for the spilt. He was going to make a hair appointment with me so he could pretty much trap me into a confrontation but I was wise to that and refused so unfortunately we ended up in a bit of a text argument involving him giving me abuse and me telling him he was out of order for that abuse and told him to re-read everything he sent and imagine it was someone sending him these messages. He was quickly apologetic and so I gave him what he wanted, closure. So now I am in this tricky situation where he actually feels better about the break up, yet I want him back. I feel really stupid now but was so off guard that I had no idea what to do apart from give him what he wanted. I told him that I just felt it was time to part, which isn’t entirely true, I just didn’t see the point in getting into it or hurting his feelings. He’s coming for a hair appointment in 2 weeks. I wanted enough time to prepare myself. This break up is my fault really. I never asserted myself or set boundaries with him and rather than do so through fear of rejection I ended it!! I feel that I have been very insecure and to be honest quite immature. My instinct is to very calmly tell him that I am sorry and can see where I have gone wrong without any expectations. I feel like I should explain where I have gone wrong too without coming across as weak, easier said here than done. What do you think? Any hints or tips would be gratefully received.
em

February 1, 2014 at 3:02 pm

what steps should i take if my ex is ignoring me?
Lucy

January 30, 2014 at 1:49 am

Hi Chris,

Thank you so much for writing these guides. So I’ve been seeing this guy for about two years, but we really had two separate relationships. Although he was never fully committed, the first time we talked daily and he acted like a boyfriend. I did not act like a girlfriend. I wasn’t totally sure about him or if i even wanted a relationship in general. Our ending of things was pretty mutual (but initiated by me). Only during our time apart, I realized how much I missed him and wanted him in my life.

We did end up seeing each other again, but things were different. I felt like his guard was up more and also things totally fell apart at his job and he was in a really bad place. I made things really easy for him and was so available partly because I was so happy to have him back in my life and partly because I knew he didn’t have much to give and I was willing to wait it out. For a while. But a girl can only wait for so long. So he basically told me that while he was content with our situation (kind of a glorified friends with benefits type thing) he wasn’t in a place for more. So I ended things. He said he wanted to be in my life at least as friend. I said it was too hard for me right now, but hopefully someday. I deleted him from facebook, have gone 20 days no contact all all (not like i’m counting or anything).

I know that I want him in my life and i feel like he will be receptive when I do break NC. but I do have a few concerns.1) I am scared that if I contact him too soon, not enough will have changed. I think we both have some work to do in our lives. 2)I think it would be so easy to fall back into our old pattern routine and I can’t go back to that.

I am not sure if we have just had bad timing or if he’s always just been unsure about me. But I would prefer to think it’s the latter. I would love to know any thoughts you have and how long you think i should wait before trying to start over. Really start over. As new and improved people.

Thanks so much!

admin

January 30, 2014 at 6:08 pm

1. Then don’t contact him too soon.

2. That is something that you both need to talk about when the time comes. To see if you can improve the routine.
lucy

February 2, 2014 at 4:22 am

How much time would u recommend in that type situation?

Could you write a post on guys who are in a bad place in their careers, and what girls should do in that situation and if their ex truly believes they deserve better? Thx!
Nats

February 3, 2014 at 2:35 am

Something similar happened to me too. I think my ex is in some kind of depression mainly bc of his job. He pushed me away saying he has nothing to give right now, that he has to figure out what to do with his life. BU was 2 months ago, 20 days of NC. I also think he will be receptive when I brake NC, what worries me is getting stuck in the friendzone. We were together 7 months after 6 years of friendship.
Lucy

February 3, 2014 at 10:46 pm

Nats,

I honestly think when guys are unhappy with their careers they have a hard time being in a relationship. Girls can make a relationship a priority no matter what is going on our lives, but I think guys are different in that respect (of course my biggest fear is he will meet “the one” and the other stuff in his life won’t matter and that will throw my whole theory out the window). But that is the question, how much time/space do we give them? Chris?? haha

Sandy

January 29, 2014 at 7:06 am

This had to be probably the most powerful article to have impacted me. I’ve been so anxious, depressed and sad. My bf or ex, just asked for a break. I know it’s all due to my nasty attitude/character due to my fast paced-stressful job and life at the moment. And tho he asked for a break, I’m the type of girl with the mindset of a man, not being a chump and waiting around during a break and taking it more like a break up. That’s what they usually lead to. But I do love him dearly and I plan in putting all of this in consideration. Going out and focusing on myself. No contact rule, the whole shabang. I’m really relieved to have read this, my hopes are not high because those are false expectations. But I do have hope that this will help me grow out. Thanks Chris.

admin

January 29, 2014 at 7:01 pm

Your welcome!

Really?

The article reached you on a deep level?
Sandy

January 30, 2014 at 8:13 am

Yea? Why not?

Sometimes, some words really do speak loudly. And yours are very clear. Hey, if I don’t love myself properly, it’ll be hell of difficult to get anyone else to love me. So during NC, I rather just focus on myself. 🙂

Rachel

January 28, 2014 at 6:26 pm

2 months on! A lot of two and frowing!
So its been a real emotional time! Ive tried NC, Ive tried LC and we talked blah blah blah!!!!! He screwed up by going on a dating site! Now he is off around the world! ( This bit I dont mind i think it will do him good, as he is leaving his job in the military, travelling and then going to uni)

However emotionally its had its toll on me! Because I was left dangling again!

I had to give a bit of an ultimatum… I know you do not recommend this but i just cant deal with not knowing.. I basically said to my ex.. its not just about meeting up and talking. The question he really needs to be thinking about is.

What do you want to be the outcome of this conversation?

I then went onto say that we can date and go with the flow, we obviously still care about one another ( Which he said he still loved me and was in love with me)
I did say that if you did not want a positive outcome of this ‘conversation’ then we would have to go NC, so that all of this can stop messing with both our heads and its can give time to get over the love and that we can focus on ourselves.

This is horrible!! and I feel like we are breaking up all over again…

Its hard when the guy says ” Lets give it some time…. or we will see in a few months!” then keep txting you etc! Why do guys do this? and is there really any hope?

thanks all the best

admin

January 29, 2014 at 6:41 pm

You should really check out my latest guide on commitment 🙂

mathgirl86

January 27, 2014 at 10:21 pm

Hi,
My ex and I were together for 2.5 years, he broke up with me almost a year and a half ago. So a lot of time has passed but I still want him back. I wanted him back every day since then, but I feel like I messed up everything during this time and there’s no hope. The relationship was very passionate, we loved each other very much but also we fought a lot. We both did some really stupid things, I don’t want to go into details. But I always took responsibility for my mistakes, tried to work on my faults, and I feel like most of the time I was the one who was trying to really make things work. Anyway… after the breakup, he asked me to stay friends. I was really heartbroken, I couldn’t bear the thought of losing him, so we continued talking and meeting as “friends”. He felt terrible too for quite a while, and said multiple times that he still loved me, but didn’t want us back because of our problems. (His main problem was that he felt that he couldn’t talk to me openly about anything.) Well I behaved really really awfully for months, alternating between being angry and telling him to go to hell, and crying and begging him to come back to me because I love him. Also we hooked up a lot (last time we did it was 3 months ago – I know I’m horrible but I just can’t resist him). So really, it couldn’t have been any worse. After some time, he said he was interested in someone else and he didn’t love me anymore. We’ve been talking and meeting regularly ever since, but both are getting less and less. Sometimes things looked really good, we would talk every day for weeks, and have a really good time in person too, but then he would disappear and we wouldn’t talk for weeks because he feels like he can’t talk to me or something. I don’t get it.
We both tried dating others but neither of us had a relationship since then.
Now the situation is this: we met last time before Christmas, since then we haven’t talked much, which made me quite upset. I know it’s wrong, but it’s like, he wanted us to stay friends and yet he keeps disappearing. I tried my best to make him feel like he can talk to me about anything and he can be honest. I managed to stay kind and normal even when he was telling me about how he kissed another girl. (After which I didn’t sleep for a week and pretty much wanted to die, but I didn’t tell him that.) So really I tried to show him that I’m a good friend to him, but he just keeps getting away from me, and he doesn’t behave like a friend to me at all. And so I lashed out again, writing him emails about how he should really decide if he wants to stay in touch with me or not, and that I don’t get what his problem is with me, etc. I don’t know what to do now. I feel like I blew all my chances. Too much time has passed, and I think that by now he’s absolutely sure he doesn’t want to get back with me, ever. I know he loved me very much too and possibly still has some feelings for me deep down (though he hasn’t shown any sign of it in a long time), but he just doesn’t want to be with me. I really, really want to get back together with him, I know what went wrong and I know I could change that if I got a chance. I would work really hard to create a new and much better relationship, I really feel like we could be great together. But he’s a really complicated person, he’s very closed off, it’s very hard to know what goes on in his my mind and what he feels. I have no clue how to proceed from here. Should I not contact him for a month? Would that make any difference at this point? I feel like I’m way too weak to pull that off anyway. Do you think there’s a chance that we might get back together even after all this time and even after how I behaved?

admin

January 28, 2014 at 6:06 pm

There is a chance but I would say the best piece of advice I can give you is to make sure you are in the right place emotionally and physically.
mathgirl86

January 30, 2014 at 4:29 pm

Thanks. 🙂 Now one minute I think it’s a really good idea to give him some space (and I mean we shouldn’t speak for months), and I think I can do it, but the next minute… I feel like I’m going crazy. I have a thought in my mind right now… that tomorrow I should hop on a train and visit him (he’s at home in a different city right now) unexpectedly, and talk to him… in my mind it goes this way: he’s very surprised about my visit but in a good way, he’s moved by it, and we can talk honestly, and he agrees that at least we give it a try to rebuild a connection between us, maybe I even sleep over and we talk through the night.
Yeah well in reality I’d be surprised if it went that way. But I never tried this exact thing (travelling this distance for him after we broke up)…
I’m mental. This is not a good idea, right…? ^^
(Sorry that I write here so much but it feels good now to ‘tell’ all these thoughts to someone, and my friends are all fed up by this topic, which is understandable.)
admin

January 30, 2014 at 6:24 pm

No don’t do that… trust me showing up unannounced can be dangerous if you aren’t official with the person.
mathgirl86

February 1, 2014 at 3:32 pm

You know it’s strange that when I try to think about us in a rational way (well obviously I can’t be really objective when I have all these emotions, but enough time has passed that I can be somewhat rational), I feel like there’s really nothing that’s in the way of us having a great relationship. But at the same time, he thinks there is. We felt the same great love for each other, and we both were aware about the problems we had, but I always felt that they could be solved if we worked on them, but he gave up in the end. We tried to work through our issues a lot during our relationship but I feel like it was me who was doing the work, he just said he wanted to fix things but never really did anything. Now it’s the same. He totally gave up on the idea of us, because of the bad things. Now I know those things shouldn’t have to be that way. I’ve changed, I could do a lot of things differently, a lot of time has passed so we could really forget everything and start over. We should just communicate honestly. It seems so easy when I think about it, this is the only thing we’d need. But this is the thing that he is just unable to do. By now he even refuses to try, to sometimes sit down with me, talk to me about things… No matter what I do, how hard I try to show him that he can be honest with me and I’m there for him, I can’t accomplish anything, I just push him further away.
What can I do about this? Do you have any advice? I really feel like this is the main problem, that he is just very, very closed off emotionally. I was the only one who could really get to him (and let me tell you it was extremely hard) and now even I’m pushed away, and he feels like we can’t talk about anything which I don’t get because we could if he just tried…
So I just don’t know how I could establish a close relationship with him ever again when he made up his mind that he just can’t talk to me and that’s it.
anon

February 4, 2014 at 10:23 am

Same here. Was in long distance relationship since Oct 2006 till we fell out v badly on 11th Jan. Good times were good. Bad times were nightmare. We were able to talk to each other about sort of stuff that friends talk about (ie tv progs, pc games etc just not important issues). We could be getting on well with each other one minute, then fell out next minute cos of innocent remark that I made (ie I said to him that its pity CAB couldnt advise him with his financial situation. his reply was “dont you think Ive already thought of that? Im not stupid so why treat me as tho I am”). I know that we could start over and have better relationship if we could just sit down and discuss these important issues in calm and rational manner without him flying off handle
mathgirl86

February 4, 2014 at 10:16 pm

What I’ve learned is that I can’t make him be better at stuff like this. I used to talk to him for hours, or write super long emails about my thoughts, with no result. He would just sit there and say nothing at all. Or say “I don’t know what to say” (oh my god how many times I heard this…). Or at best, a sentence. That’s it. And a lot of times I tried to “analyze” him, because I just couldn’t understand him and he wouldn’t say much, so I’d try to figure out why he was behaving that way or something. I feel like a lot of times I just made things worse with this. At times he would come to the realization that yes he should communicate better, but not much changed even after that.
As for your ex, well there are people who have short temper, I am one of them but I’m really working on it, the problem is when they just lash out but are not willing to discuss anything later. I can get upset quickly, sometimes because of stupid things, but still I am able to talk about it and then it’s ok.
So I guess what I’m trying to say here is that we can only work on ourselves. I am working on myself so that one day I can be a better girlfriend, to him, or to someone else… But he also has to realize his shortcomings on his own and try to do something about them. I can’t do any more than this, I give up, seriously I spent almost a year and a half after the breakup trying to make him understand that he can just talk to me about anything and we could work things out. And I did the same thing during our entire relationship. I know I am capable of a serious relationship, I had more than one before him, while I am his only serious girlfriend yet and even that’s only because I never gave up on him (I probably should have). I know that people can be honest with me and talk to me about anything, because I’ve always had close friends who trusted me the most, who could share their deepest feelings with me. If he can’t that’s his problem, I’m done trying to make him see who I am and who I could be in his life. He is totally unable to open up about his feelings, never had really deep connections, deep conversations with anyone. Whatever, I’m done.
mathgirl86

February 1, 2014 at 3:09 pm

Yeah you’re probably right. I didn’t go.
I was reading all your articles and I was wondering if you would consider my reason to get back with my ex a good one. You write that it’s not a good reason to just think that I’ll never find anyone else. Well… with me the thing is, guys usually find me attractive, I also have the brains (I’m currently doing PhD in maths), a lot of guys ask me out so it would be probably easy to find someone who would date me. Actually I had to turn down a couple of guys since the breakup. There was nothing wrong with them but I just can’t feel anything for anyone except for my ex. So I think that I won’t find anyone else who I could love this much. I had relationships before him, but I never felt this way. It’s really hard for me to fall for someone, honestly this much love and passion that I felt because of him scared me, I didn’t think it was possible to feel like this. So this is my main reason for wanting to get back with him, because I still feel this way about him, and it’s really unlikely that I’d feel like this about anyone else. Is this good enough?
Also, we are very similar in a lot of things, we loved spending time together, neither of us was this happy before. I’d say we also want the same things out of life, although he’s still young (younger than me by 4 years) so it’s not a priority, but I know he wants to have a family too. He loved me a lot, he could even imagine me being his wife. He’s not someone who would fall for anyone either. I think it’s really unlikely that he’ll find a girl who he could love as much as he loved me, and even if he did, girls usually turn him down because he’s very closed off, quiet, and passive (which was annoying for me too but I love him anyway).
So I don’t know. I kind of just want to convince myself here that I shouldn’t give up. What do you think?
I hate this situation so much. I really feel like we could be the best thing ever, when I think about how we felt about each other and how much we’re alike. But we messed up and also I feel like he’s not really ready for a serious relationship. He just didn’t know what to do with all those emotions, he couldn’t handle the problems, the fights… of course I could have done a better job too. But I feel like I could do a much better job if I had another chance. I just don’t know if he could. Maybe I just need to give him time, maybe in some years he could handle this, and he would realise how great we could be, and how it was a mistake to let me go.

Wow sorry that I wrote so much again, words just keep coming out of me.
I wrote him some emails on Monday, since then I haven’t heard from him, which kind of makes me angry, but whatever, I’m trying to do a NC anyway. I feel like this will be the best for now, to leave each other alone for a while, I hope I can do it. Although I don’t know what to do if he contacts me, but I don’t think he would care if I didn’t reply, sadly…
admin

February 1, 2014 at 7:20 pm

PHD in math hahaha.

Math was always my worst subject.

Want to take a guess what my best one was?

WRITING!!!

I think your reason is good enough.
mathgirl86

January 28, 2014 at 11:24 am

The thing is, I always knew what would be the right thing to do, and I knew that what I was doing was pretty much the exact opposite. But it’s just so hard. I’m a very emotional person, and I get upset very easily. I just can’t hide how I feel, even if I manage to hold it inside and not say anything, it still shows on my face. I would be a terrible actress. I can’t control myself, and to pull all these things off that you recommend, I should control myself in every second. How do I get the strength to do that? :/ I promised myself like a thousand times that from now on I’m gonna be cool about everything etc but I always gave up when I didn’t get results instantly. I really don’t know what I’m expecting from you to tell me, but… seriously any advice would be appreciated. 🙂
Also I’m afraid that after all this time, even if I try NC, 30 days would be way too short, and I just don’t know how I would hold on for months, and what if after that he wouldn’t even want to talk to me… And when we meet it’s not like I can consider that a date, even if he kisses me I can’t take that seriously, given that I pretty much made him sure that he can have friends with benefits with me. How do I undo all this damage that I’ve done? :/

venus

January 27, 2014 at 12:31 pm

Chris,

thanks for writing these guides, they make sense to me.

my ex of 5 years broke up with me a month ago. New Year’s Eve we were at the same party together with all of our friends and we had to separately tell all of them we broke up (everybody thought we were going to get married soon). I held up very well that night, very pleasant and upbeat. our interaction were limited but we exchanged friendly hellos.

the next day I made the mistake of emailing him, apologizing for my contribution to the demise of our relationship, told him we make a good team and had something special and that I hope he reconsiders. and that I looked fine the previous night but all I really wanted was to be with him. (really regret this one!)

now he ever wrote back and we have had no interaction since. it has been exactly a month now. should I continue NC and hope he gets in touch at some point? anything else I can do?

our break up: happened very suddenly. we have dated 5 years, 2 of which were long distance and we see each other about once a month. he hates his life, no job satisfaction and extremely stressful and couldn’t see a way out (he works for his family). we have been fighting a lot lately, mostly from him blowing up at random things (he had always done that but much worse lately) and I would get fed up and yell back at him. up till even just 2 hours before the break up he was talking long term, and then later he randomly blows up and I blow up at him and he simply said let’s just be friends. then went on to talk about how he doesn’t see when he can move back, and how he doesn’t know his plan (he doesn’t have control of his career basically), and doesn’t want to drag me on, and that he thinks these fights are not fixable and doesn’t want to work on them anymore. he said he still loves me and has been trying to figure out a future together and the pressure is really weighing on him. he just doesn’t want to deal with it anymore.
P

January 26, 2014 at 5:34 pm

I am on day 3 of the no contact rule and I just have a question. My ex and I had a child that passed away at the hospital and we are pursuing a law suit. What if he contacts me to give me an update or asks something about the case? Should I still ignore him or should I just give minimal responses?

admin

January 27, 2014 at 7:10 pm

I am so sorry..

I think in that case you have to break NC.
Anna

January 29, 2014 at 2:27 am

so that means I’ll can never get him back :(?

Anna

January 25, 2014 at 10:22 am

Hi Chris! I have broken up with my ex for two to three months. At first I was extremely emotional and had done many things out of control. I am fine now, but I still want him back. We still stay in contact, have short talks once or twice in a week. I wonder if it will be odd if I suddenly ignore him for following the no-contact-rule from now.
We live in different countries so it may be extra hard for me to get this long distance relationship back!
Kay

January 25, 2014 at 6:59 am

Hi Chris

Love your website! Very helpful and insightful! My fiance of 4 1/2 years broke up with me 4 months ago, after financial issues set into our relationship, forcing us to live in different countries for 7 months. But even before that, the relationship (due to financial issues) was strenuous. As we were, in spite of it all a very close-knit couple, who adored each other, the separation made it harder on us we didn’t deal with it appropriately. I was staring a independent career in the film production industry and setting myself up took time. He felt that us not having enough cash prevented him to move forward with his own dreams. In any case, after one too many fights, he broke up with me. But I think he had been thinking about it for a while. He moved to French Polynesia while I was in europe. Happy photos of himself are tagged on our friends facebook (he blocked me) and he seems to be having the time of his life. he tore himself apart from me completely only months after tellng me he would die for me. A few weeks ago before Xmas I sent him several emails. He didn’t answer. It was emails regarding some logistics we had to sort out as we had business interests in common. For the most part however, I applied the NC rule. It was only after I sent him a mail saying that some money owed to him had been sent, that he answered back saying that he had been busy with work because of the xmas season (he works at a hotel) and would get back with me as soon as he had more time. And thanked me for keeping in touch with him. I didn’t reply. about 10 days later he wished me Happy New year and wishing all my dreams come true and wishing my family was doing well. Not sure what to make of such an email. Did he do it cause the money had not arrived to him yet and was wondering without daring asking? Does he feel guilty about the way he treated me? Is it regret? I have no idea. I only replied “likewise” and left it at that. I have not written since nor heard from him. He seems to have moved on, with all those pictures he is tagged in, but at the same time, given the relationship we had where he missed me so much when we were not together he ached, it surprises me. Not sure where to go from here. By the way, he is not at all the type to be receptive to the nice texts…..

Any advise? Thanks

admin

January 27, 2014 at 6:50 pm

Not receptive to nice texts. Not even when you were dating?
Kay

January 28, 2014 at 4:14 am

Yes when we were dating he loved them! But since we broke up, even when I wrote him about matters of business between us, he was very short and felt that it was a way for him to getting him back. If I sent him any kind of text even hinting at memory lane, he would immediately take it as some type of trap and it would hardly show him I moved on. He has been very distant and cold since the break up well that’s up until the last two emails where he apologized for being too busy to answer my mail and that he would as soon as he found some time, and then the other where he wished me well in 2014 and hoped my family was well. But I felt he was just being polite because I had arranged one of our business affairs for him….So don’t really know what to think and how to proceed. Any tips on how to deal with a stubborn angry dude?
anon

February 4, 2014 at 10:59 am

Same here. I was in long distance relationship since Oct 2006 till we had nightmare falling out on 11th Jan 2014 with him storming out and telling me to leave him alone. I did 3 weeks of no contact till 2 days ago when I then sent positive text saying that I was just thinking of him and he can always get in touch anytime about anything. No reply. Then sent him text yesterday reminding him of good times. His instant reply was “what aspect of leave me alone is alien concept to you? Now leave me alone”

Charlie

January 24, 2014 at 4:46 pm

Hey Chris! Great website!

Well something has stuffed up! I think a bit of both of us! Well we spilt up November really suddenly. Didn’t speak for a month face to face, even though he kept texting me and I was LC. We met up chatted, and decided that we would meet up later to discuss us. I stupidly slept with him but don’t get me wrong, amazing sex, which I did regret. We have spoken a couple of times on the phone.

However I found out he had signed up to a dating website,(for sugar mommies specifically lol) and I found out as he had left himself logged on! I pulled him up on it and he said he wasn’t chatting to anyone (lie as I had seen it) he didn’t remember signing up, said he was drunk with his mates (lie) and that he hadn’t paid for it (lie)

I was laughing at him down the phone, and he ran away didn’t speak until I txt him saying that I thought it was better that we let nature takes its course. I still remand friendly but felt that I had the upper hand as he was begging for me to understand and that he was embarrassed. He told his bro who just laughed at him.

Over the week we txt and started sending some txt about sex and that it was good. We then arranged to meet up for a coffee and so that I could help him plan his uni and travelling after he leaves the army..

We then thought in a midst of a horns txt it would be good to meet up for sex that weekend( bad idea I know) I felt like it wasn’t right etc.

Ad eventually he thought it was a bad idea…. But he decided to send that too me right before an interview when I was stressed. We then had a fight over txt saying he was stringing me along and that he never gave me space to get myself sorted. Even though he said I would. He struggles to communicate and chooses to do it through txt. He then said he didn’t want to talk on the phone and that I needed to have a good weekend( I’m pretty angry right now to be honest after what he did with the dating website and he is using it as a punishment)

I said to him not to bother contacting me unitil he can learn to communicate properly and not hide around his phone. I’m so so angry shall I go back into NC and I guess his anger shows he cares but is too coward to speak about it .

admin

January 24, 2014 at 6:34 pm

Ya just jump back into NC.
Charlie

January 25, 2014 at 9:44 pm

Ahh I’m a Moran. He tried to guilt trip me with a happy memory snap chat and we both apologised for our txt fight… But then in the morning I Sid again that we should not speak and said that we needed time out… I then stupidly called left a message saying it would be good the chat rather than txt!

This has all be a totally head screw.. I’ will openly Admit I’ve done a lot of it myself but so has he! It’s like I felt I was getting friend zone and he is wanting his cake and eating it!

Is it too late now?.. Or will NC work! I’m kinda glad its come to this as I an rally focus on me now! But it still doesn’t take the pain away!

Kellie

January 24, 2014 at 3:11 pm

Chris I really need your help. My ex an I have a daughter together and we have been broken up for a year now. Only a few months ago he was flirting like mad and I pretty much had him like putty in my hands again. I’m not really sure what happened but he seems to being pulling away a bit now. It could be that I was busy last time he wanted to see us and catch up I am not sure.

Anyway I started NC, well LC in my case and I had to break it at around day 16 to contact him about our daughter. I got no reply but it was more just needing to inform him of something. Yesterday his parents came to visit me and bought us around some presents. Then his mum handed me a present from him – he gave it to her to give to me because I didn’t catch up with him last time he wanted to and he is away for work and wouldn’t prob see me for another month and he didn’t want to wait.

His present was beautiful so I sent him a text saying “I just wanted to say thank you :)” which ended up being at day 22 of NC/LC but he didn’t respond and I know he saw the text as it shows me.

What do I do now? How long do I wait to contact him again? Do I need to do another month of NC which will take me up to when he is back home again and will no doubt want to see us? Please tell me if you think I can turn it around with him?
Help!??

January 24, 2014 at 11:52 am

Hey Chris,
I feel my ex is moving on 🙁 I’m trying to show him I’m happy but it doesn’t look like it’s doing anything or even affecting him. What do I do? I have been in no contact for 3 months and we went out for three years and now he acts as if I just don’t exist he just stares sometimes and that’s it. I don’t want him to move on, I still love him. What should I do at this point?
Cotton

January 24, 2014 at 2:31 am

Please Chris delete my last comment in this guide under Bebita for personal and private reason, I will resubmit again
Thank you
Aimee

January 24, 2014 at 12:13 am

Hi Chris,
I read the majority of the posts and found them very helpful and after seeing my ex-friend? at school after 6 months of no contact I’m still confused as to why if he wants me does he not man up and actually say hello to me in person instead of stripping me with his eyes like he does every time we see each other on campus? I am either getting the laser strip stare or the death stare no variation between the two no smile or hello.. He emailed me about something school related and then followed up with a message in french about us being friends and I made a joke of friends don’t give mean stares and he never responded back..
Backstory: We never got around to dating he pursued me and I would laugh at his games but we became close spoke everyday saw each other quite often. I cut ties with him after his incessant mind games on one hand he would tell me everything about his past, future aspirations, fears and yet he would shy away anytime he felt we were getting too close and go with “we don’t really know each other.” Hell he had a hard time calling me his friend and knowing what he told me about his past I sort of got that he had issues but not so many of them..Anyways I cut ties with him and blocked everything its been 6 months since we’ve seen each other and I been on top of my stuff and while I appreciate he notices me it drives me crazy he won’t say hello or wave with the laser stare..
Chanel Smith

January 23, 2014 at 10:35 pm

Chris,
My ex and I broke up 8 months ago. He moved on in 2 weeks and told me he was going to marry this girl. I lost hope and was devastated. He continued to reach out to me so my father contacted him and told him to leave me alone. I completely cut off communication and never reached. The day I felt as though I had “moved on” he walked into my work the next day crying that he loved and missed me but “didn’t know what to do.” He was still with the same girl. I told him that we should move forward with our lives and he should not contact me until he was single and knew what he wanted. We did continue to have conversation off and on and saw each other twice, but it seemed like games to me and confusing. He made it clear to say he wont come back unless he approaches my father and decides to marry me. He is still with this chick and still reaches out every once in awhile, which sometimes I respond. I decided to block him on my phone last weekend so I have absolute no contact. How long should I do this? I am so confused. Please help me Chris!

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