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90 thoughts on “How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Beg For You Back… It’s Easier Than You Think”

  1. Avatar

    Charlotte

    April 4, 2017 at 12:17 am

    Hi Amor,
    My ex and I ended on pretty bad terms, he said he would like to stop all communications with me because his new girlfriend did not like it and he wanted to focus on this new relationship. I went no contact for 2 months then reached out to him via text many times but he never responded.  I accepted the hard truth and tried to forget the relationship but could not. A year went by and I reached out to him the other day, asking how he is doing. He responded a day later and asked about my well-being too. 
    Is it a good sign? Is he just being polite?
    I responded with a simple ‘glad to hear you’re good, I’m doing well too’ and did not ask about anything else. Was it an appropriate response? How should I initiate the next conversation? I really want to ask him if we can still be friends and if I can text him from time to time? Is that too emotional for starting a conversation?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 4, 2017 at 5:28 pm

      Hi Charlotte,

      Don’t ask to be friends, just be friendly. Remember you’re starting out now as strangers. Consider it as a restart and that he has moved on.

  2. Avatar

    Chrysanthemum

    March 29, 2017 at 9:42 pm

    My ex and I have become really good friends in the last couple of days and he actually looks for me to talk to me about the silliest of stuff etc and things aren’t how they used to be with me hunting him down- that was sad- anyway I don’t want to get too excited and start acting batshit crazy so how do I get to that point where he feels compelled to ask me out and sees me as valuable in his life

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 30, 2017 at 4:23 pm

      Hi Chrysanthemum,

      have you done the no contact rule? If yes, how long, when and how much did you improve?

  3. Avatar

    Kelly Lim

    March 29, 2017 at 2:52 pm

    Hi! I have been doing no contact with my ex fiance for a week now and he was calling me last 2 days for total of 3 times but I didn’t pick up the phone. He just asked me if I’m in the office and if we could talk. He told me last monday before we started no contact that he cannot commit to me and he wanted to cool off. He needed space and wants to be single again. I don’t know why he wanted to talk but I feel scared that he is going to drive closure. Would it make him even more agitated if I ignore him? Maybe the glass is half full and he wanted to reconcile but me ingnoring him will just push him further away for the lean chance he thought of? We have broken up last Jan but still see each other until last week. He called it off because he felt I’m controlling and becoming demanding.

    1. Avatar

      Kelly Lim

      March 30, 2017 at 6:13 am

      Thanks! Well, in my mind I thought we have broken up because he called off the engagement and even untag himself in the FB photo. He asked for cool-off which is like a euphemism for break up?

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 30, 2017 at 6:56 pm

      ok, if you take it that you’ve broken up, start nc rule after this.

    3. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 29, 2017 at 3:30 pm

      Hi Kelly,

      since you’re not really broken up, talk to him.

  4. Avatar

    Swtluv

    March 29, 2017 at 2:57 am

    A week ago my ex broke up with me. His reasons were because I deserved someone better who will take me out and give me the attention. He said he loves me very much and that’s why he has to let me go. That we will still keep in touch and he can still come over and visit me and my family. However, Idk if the result of the breakup was due to stress. Back in February he told me that he was sorry for being a bad bf because he doesn’t take me out and all due to school. He said school has been challenging for him (he has a year and a half left and is majoring in Public Health). A few days after that he said he didn’t feel like he was where he should be in his life. That he has so many thoughts and he feels disconnected with everyone and has been isolating himself including me. One day I showed up to his place and he looked stressed out. He said he had been playing catch up with school that’s why he has not be texting me or calling me since he’s been very busy. That he cannot juggle school and everything else at the same time. And he said he wasn’t going anywhere. Well the following week we spent time together and went on a date. Two days after that I texted him and since he didn’t reply back I got mad at him. I realized I should have backed off, but it’s now too late for a few days after that he broke up with me. I know he is not good with stress and doesn’t know how to handle things when stressed. I feel bad cause I feel like I put on more pressure on him which caused the break up. I don’t know if the ages matter but he’s 27 and I’m 33. Is there any advice that I can get maybe in getting him back? If there’s even a chance? We’ve been together for 4 years. Two days after breakup he called me to ask me how I was doing? And that was it. I texted him this past sunday and his response was short. Any thoughts? I’d appreciate it.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 29, 2017 at 2:17 pm

      Hi Swtluv,

      do you want to try the no contact rule?

  5. Avatar

    Maiken

    March 28, 2017 at 8:12 pm

    Hi Chris!
    My boyfriend broke up with me on March 23 because a friend thought it would be funny to send my ex a text message that referred to when we actually dated,so my ex told my boyfriend (now ex) that I wanted him back and he got really upset and he wouldn’t believe me and wouldn’t even hear me out.. I spammed him with calls and texts but no response. It had been 4 days without him talking to me, but we go to the same school and we crossed paths yesterday and I straight up gave him a quick hug , kissed his cheek, and told him to talk to me. So after school (yesterday), we talked in person and I explained everything that had happened, and for some reason he didn’t trust me. He told me that his mind was set and he’s not taking me back. Obviously, I was balling my eyes out and for a moment we just sat there in silence, but then he moved and sat next to me putting his arm around me and comforting me.. my friend was on her way to pick me up from his house so I told him that this was my last goodbye (very dramatic.. but thats me), I then asked for a one last kiss and he said that it wasn’t a good idea and I said “ok” and started walking off, but then he grabbed my arms and kissed me. We got to the front of the door and I told him that he should really think about this and then he shut the door. I made a promise to myself that I would follow through the “no-contact rule”, and today will be the 1st day without talking to him. Do you think there is another reason why he broke up with me? we had a perfect relationship (barely fought) and also, do you think theres a high chance of getting him back? Not to sound cocky, but I know that I was a very good girlfriend to him, I would surprise him with his favorite foods, always support him, always be loyal to him and always be there for him. Also, he is a sophomore in high school and I am a senior. hope to hear from you. Thank You

    1. Avatar

      Maiken

      March 30, 2017 at 6:44 pm

      Hey Amor,
      Yes my friend did send him a long text message apologizing and admitting it was her. It has been 3 days of fully not talking to him, and I’m already going crazy. It’s really tough because I see him at school.

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 31, 2017 at 6:22 pm

      ok, since you already did everything you can, try limited contact.. approach like this one:
      it’s almost the same situation:
      EBR 032: What To Do If You Work With Your Ex Boyfriend

    3. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 29, 2017 at 12:28 pm

      Hi Maiken,

      did you friend who thought of the idea talked to him too?

  6. Avatar

    Allison

    March 28, 2017 at 5:23 am

    Hi Chris!
    My ex and I had a smooth 1 year relationship. When we fight we talk about it and later forgive ourselves. We understand each other and know what the other is thinking or feeling about. Last week he had an issue in college and it made an impact on him. He asked me to give him space so I did and after one week he called me for the first time again, telling me the good news that he got enroll in his college again BUT HE BROKE UP with me.
    The following day I asked him again if it was official because I cant accept the fact our “beautiful” relationship suddenly fell apart. He told me the real reason while he was literally crying and between those reasons he kept saying “i love you so much, but i have to do this. It pains me as well that I’m letting you go”. So he really broke up with me yesterday and said he still wants us to be friends…
    I understand his situation even though its hard for me but I love him and respect his decision. Right now im starting the NC rule…
    Do you think I still have the chance to make him change his mind? If so I need some advice, please.
    Thanks you so much!

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 28, 2017 at 6:14 pm

      Hi Allison,

      what is the real reason?

  7. Avatar

    Ali

    March 27, 2017 at 10:12 pm

    Hi, I was wondering if Chris could possibly write an article about ex boyfriends that go out of their way to avoid you/avoid you at all costs. My ex is currently go to great lengths to avoid me (even moving further away on the street when he sees me), even though he ended it with me 6 months ago because he’s young and I think how much he liked me scared him and he said he felt like he needed to be single. In my opinion he isn’t over me as I still seem to cause a noticeable emotional reaction but I might be reading too much into it. Everything I do to try and repair our interaction doesn’t seem to work and he’s had me block for 2 months but when I see him (which is a lot as we live in the same small town) he seems sad and uncomfortable

    1. Avatar

      R

      March 28, 2017 at 10:47 pm

      I second this request 🙂

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 28, 2017 at 5:46 pm

      Hi Ali,

      I’ll forward this to Chris. For me, if you bump into him, smile.. if you can greet, greet him..

  8. Avatar

    Abb

    March 27, 2017 at 7:00 pm

    Hello there!

    My boyfriend and I broke up 2 months ago after dating for almost 5 years.

    After 30 no contact, we started texting. Then we met up, we had a great time. He saw how much I changed for the better. I told him I really want to show him how I changed, because I really wanted him back! He said that me meeting him was his way to give me ‘small’ second chances. But he also said he only wants to meet up like once a month.. Isn’t that weird? I texted him a few days later, but that’s a week ago, and he still didn’t reply. What do I do now?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 28, 2017 at 5:38 pm

      Hi Abb,

      how long have build been building rapport when you told him that? That and his reply, showed he has more power over you.. the power has to be equal..but right now, it looks like you’re just chasing him..

  9. Avatar

    Ann

    March 26, 2017 at 6:37 pm

    Hello there. I’ve read the book twice and now i was reading the articles on this site.
    I did the nc rule more then one month, just because I wasn’t ready after only 30 days so i went on 50 days, after that i had send him a text messege, he responded an hour after says that he was very happy to hear from me, telling me about himself and what he’s been up to , asking me the same and at the end of his text telling me that he is still ok with the decision he took that he doesn’t want us back together.
    What are my chances in this situation..?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 28, 2017 at 1:46 pm

      Hi Ann,

      why did he say that? did you ask?

  10. Avatar

    U

    March 26, 2017 at 6:19 pm

    Hello,

    My ex and I broke up a little more than a week ago. We had hung out that day though we both weren’t in the best moods. That night, he called me and ended things. He said he couldn’t see a future with me and that it was near impossible because I wasn’t of the same ethnicity. He gave me a couple other reasons but I felt like they weren’t the real reasons he was leaving. I ended up crying and he ended up crying so we both were just crying on the phone for a while before he hung up. We haven’t talked since then and we are no longer friends on social media though I think he is still following me on Insta. Currently trying NC and am on day 9. I’m worried and scared he’s going to move on. What do I do?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 28, 2017 at 1:44 pm

  11. Avatar

    Jessie

    March 26, 2017 at 10:00 am

    Hi,
    I had a 7 year relationship and the guy cheated on me. I lost my virginity to him in my 20’s. After an year i got into relationship with my my very close friend, who had known all of my past except the physical relationship part. He had had a secret crush on me, but didnt let that to me and just remained a good friend until we got close after the breakup. I was waiting fr the right time to tell him abt this physical relationship thing and fortunately or unfortunately he came to know about it while he saw a mail to my ex which i had sent while i was trying to fix it with my ex two years back. we were pretty close for an year until my parents wanted to get us married. His parents said they are fine with it if my bf is happy to take it to next level. But after few weeks i started to sense that they werent interested in the marriage. We planned to go for post graduation and after that planned to get married. In few days i saw my bf starting to avoid me but he was with me. We started having arguments for small things. and he told me that he couldnt my past affected him so much and he couldnt get that out of his head. he started trying to impress me thinking that he was not better than my ex. I could see the efforts he took to make sure i stayed satisfied, i assured him i love him more than anything which i still do. My bf is a bit immature kind highly emotional, and unstable too. we planned to go to the same place have a live in while we study there. And in one small fight we had his parents took advantage and just told that this is not going to work. they made sure he doesnt talk to me,, they even emotionally cornered him that they would go to the extent of suicide. But even then we kept going back to each other. Either of us would start talking back but i saw he was going away from me eventually. With few fights his parents again came in and wanted us apart. i started the no contact period but in 5 days he contacted me and i couldnt see him being hurt i just started talking back to him. we went good but he didnt want me coming to the same university where he is going, he said we could meet on the weekends or even stay together. But not the same university that he would get distracted if i was in the same class with him as we have opted for the same course. thing is i was not ready to compromise on the university as that was the best university and it had been my dream to take it up there. this time his father called me and blasted me that i am not coming into his life again, and he wont come out to study with me. My bf told me not to respond to his parent’s calls, but by mistake i did. It looked like he doesnt want to give up on me nor his parents. and now all of a sudden he again started this blocking stuff in the name of trying to move on. He responds to my texts but with “leave me this wont work, i dont want you” stuff. Something that he is very sure is that i will be waiting for him, last time when he stopped contacting me, he had planned to take time convince his parents and get back to me. but he never admitted that his parents are trying to bring us apart, he says it is his decision and since we work for the same company he comes back to me each time he sees me and when i initiate a conversation. of late, he had been trying to irritate me by going on dates and he does all that would irritate me, thinking i would hate him. Everytime he blocks me he would leave a channel for me to contact him. This time i texted him in fb and he sounds serious about breaking up. I want to make him realize what he wants and how to make him stand up for what he wants. and he is that type of guy who is not ready to compromise his ego for anything.

    1. Avatar

      Jessie

      March 31, 2017 at 1:12 am

      HI Amor,
      Thank you so much.

      I think I did a terrible mistake, before the no contact period the last that I spoke to him was like that I spoke with my ex, that was just too make him feel jealous, but the fact is I never spoke to my ex. After that conversation we never really got to talk, n I think my bf thinks I m still in contact with my ex, which I don’t actually n now m in day 4 no NC

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 31, 2017 at 9:11 pm

      send a clean slate text..clarify that, thank him and tell him that you understand now that this is the best decision and then restart no contact

    3. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 26, 2017 at 5:12 pm

  12. Avatar

    R

    March 26, 2017 at 8:11 am

    Any tips on how to manage jealousy during NC? My guy has started touring with a beautiful, fun, amazing girl. Just amazing. Like out of his league amazing. I wanna be friends with her amazing. But I’m reeeeeeal jealous &I feel like I’m nothing compared to her. He used to say I was the most beautiful girl he’d ever met, now I feel worthless. I’m starting by banning fb/insta stalking. Any other tips/self esteem boosts? Thanks!

    1. Avatar

      R

      March 28, 2017 at 10:50 pm

      Okay that’s cool, thank you. What sorts of things do we post? You’re amazingly helpful btw.

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 29, 2017 at 1:10 pm

      You’re welcome! Post your activities by yourself or with your friends.

    3. Avatar

      R

      March 28, 2017 at 3:27 am

      Thank you so much for your thoughtful response, Amor. Oh the social media chestnut… I’m not so good at social media. I get anxious about the amount of likes and don’t like posting selfies cos I care too much what people think. Is there any work around? Thanks again.

    4. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 28, 2017 at 6:08 pm

      the posts are for him to see your improvements..so, it doesn’t really matter how many likes it gets. If you dont see him often like in work, that’s the the only option..

    5. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 26, 2017 at 5:04 pm

      Hi R,

      definitely dont social media stalk him. You had memories, they dont yet. Unconsciously he’s going to miss you and check on you, so you have to make your posts public so that he can see your improvement

  13. Avatar

    Abby

    March 25, 2017 at 11:22 am

    My ex hasn’t contacted me, it has been 2 months. He broke up with me because I had a “guard with his family” (not true). I cut off all contact with him, I needed time to heal. I recently found out he is seeing someone else, and it pains me. I honestly can’t and don’t want to reach out to him, especially when he just gave up. It was so sudden and we had a very good run in the relationship

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 26, 2017 at 1:17 pm

      Hi Abby,

      you mean you’re moving on?

  14. Avatar

    Christina

    March 25, 2017 at 2:27 am

    Hi, Chris! Thank you for all your articles, they have been super helpful so far in understanding what may have been going through my ex’s head before the breakup. There’s one thing I’m a little confused about though. How do I show him I’m an ungettable girl and have him chase me and let me set the pace when I’m the one that is supposed to be initiating all the texts immediately after no contact? Does all of this apply more once he has started initiating conversations? (I’m only on day 4 of texting after 6 weeks of no contact, and he’s responding very positively, but I have no idea how long it’ll be before he starts texting me first.) Thanks for the help!

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 26, 2017 at 1:05 pm

      Hi Christina,

      you have to keep improving yourself and being active in posting and you have to the one ending the conversation at high point..

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