Popular posts
The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
Recent posts
Traits Avoidants Find Attractive
What Happens When A Narcissist Collapses?
How Do Avoidants Sabotage A Relationship?
Dismissive Avoidants And The No Contact Rule
The Power Of Silence After Rejection
Why Are Dismissive Avoidants Cruel?
The #1 Reason A Man Suddenly Commits
How Long Does Avoidant Deactivation Last?
How To Let Go Of An Avoidant Partner
How Do Avoidants Create Distance?
Post categories
amy
September 26, 2013 at 11:57 pm
My bf or should I say ex broke up with me two months ago but he calls me up sometimes n I call when I miss him to cry n beg him to acept me back,when he calls he’s all sweet n he still talks to me like we are stil in a realtionship.I really love him and want him back but am not sure if he still loves me.
admin
September 27, 2013 at 6:13 am
Well, part of the problem is that he knows he can have you whenever. There is no sense of urgency.
Gaby
September 26, 2013 at 4:00 am
My ex broke up with my through text at the end of August. We talked about it in person and he basically said he wanted time to do his own thing. He’s not interested in anyone right now, and doesn’t want to be in a committed relationship with me or anyone else. He wants to spend more time with his family. We were together for almost 2 years and this got rocky around month 14 when I caught him making inappropriate comments about other women. I lost a lot of trust and self esteem but we eventually got over that. Since we broke up, we’ve agreed to stay friends, although we rarely talk. Today he came to the rescue to help me with some car troubles, completely voluntarily (he texted me in response to a FaceBook status about my broken car). Before leaving he hugged me for way longer than necessary and was super awkward and shy. How am I ever supposed to figure out when to make the next move, if he’s completely done with me or if he’s trying to friend zone me? I’ve been really patient and have given him a lottt of space, have realized my faults, have taken care of myself and put my happiness above everything.
admin
September 27, 2013 at 3:36 am
Well maybe you should text him with some of the texting recommendations and see what happens.
Gaby
September 27, 2013 at 10:22 pm
I suggested we watch our favorite tv show’s series finale together and he’s really excited. I guess that’s a good sign! I just don’t know if I should make a move when I see him
admin
September 28, 2013 at 3:33 am
Yes it is and is the show breaking bad?
Gaby
September 30, 2013 at 9:59 pm
YES! It went really well! Now he will have to work for it.
ashley
September 23, 2013 at 3:11 am
My ex left me 2 weeks ago. He told me he needed space so I left and went to my parents house. The day after I left he texted me saying he didnt want to be with me anymore. Than he told me he had feeling for our neighbor. Well than the thing with the neighbor was over a few days later and now he says he with someone else and he wont tell me who. I think I have a right to know who she is since he thinks he is going to bring our daughter around her. He still talks to me and keeps sending me mixed signals. We do have a child together. All of our stuff is still at the house. I dont know what to do. I love him so much and all I want is our family back together.
admin
September 24, 2013 at 2:16 am
Priority 1- get your stuff if you haven’t already.
Priority 2- start up a LC rule.
You should also look into my E-Book as that might be helpful with a gameplan going forward.
ashley
September 23, 2013 at 3:23 am
We have been together for 7 1/2 years
admin
September 24, 2013 at 2:15 am
That is a lot of history that could work to your advantage.
ashley
September 23, 2013 at 3:36 am
He said he dont want to tell me who because he dont want to upset me, but he did tell me its no one I know.
ilene
September 22, 2013 at 10:02 am
So, two days ago my boyfriend (ex) and I got into it. It ended up turning into one of those “if you can’t show me some humility although I’m acting like a complete prick, it’s over deal”. My response was “Fine!” After hanging up, he immediately called me every minute for 3 hours straight. Left voicemails and text messages saying how sorry he was, that this is not what he wanted. I have not contacted him. Is this right? I still love him but I just feel like we fight a lot. Plus it’s been long distance as of late.
admin
September 22, 2013 at 11:03 pm
Well, yes techinically it is right but remember the point is to get him back. If you feel he is on the verge of saying “take me back” I would take him back.
ZR
September 18, 2013 at 9:04 pm
One of the best boys I’ve ever dated has broken up with me about a month and a half ago. During school we were perfect and tried being with eachother as much as possible. He’d always buy me things and wanted to hug and kiss me all the time. Once summer began he became very busy and I didn’t get to see him that often. He later joined a band, which I totally supported. He let me come to pretty Koch every practice they had, even events they’d do. During the summer I’d go out and hangout with friends. One time a random boy came up and proclaimed that he had feelings for me. I ignored it as much as possible because I really loved my boyfriend. The boy who liked me began spreading rumars saying we kissed, but we didn’t. He told my boyfriend this and he believed him and left me. One day we were texting and he admitted he missed and loved me. He invited me over and we got back together.
Once again the boy who liked me spread the rumars. This time my boyfriend truly believed him and left me again. What happened was I confronted the boy who liked me. I got so irritated and went for a walk. While on the walk I saw him and confronted him. People saw me talking to the boy and told my boyfriend. But instead of saying we were just talking, they made up lies and said we were kissing. My boyfriend didn’t believe me when I kept trying over and over again to let him know I was just taking to the boy. He left me once again.
I cried every single day, nonstop, for over a month. But rather then letting him know I was sad, I hungout with friends and always posted on facebook about me and my friends. I also constantly added pictures of me smiling. I tried to get him to believe that I was happier. Some days I’d really miss him and send him long texts (which I know, it’s a mistake.) a few times he mentioned how he still thought I was extremely beautiful and how we’d still be together if I hadn’t “cheated.”
I swear I catch him looking at me whenever he gets the chance. School has also started, and it seems that he alwas tries to walk the opposite way in the hall than I am. Which makes it seems like he just wants to pass by me and see me. One time I was walking, he noticed I was walking the same way he was and he purposely started walking in the opposite direction where he (what seemed to me) tried bumping into me.
He tells all of his friends that he hates me. But he still keeps contact with my bestfriend(s) who he obviously hated when we were together. Also, everytime I near him he talks about ten times louder than he normally does, and often laughs obnoxiously around me. I’m not sure if he’s honestly over me due to all of this.
admin
September 19, 2013 at 2:32 am
He probably isn’t over you yet and is overcompensating which is why he is doing the stupid obnixous laughing.
EclipseBreaking
September 18, 2013 at 6:04 pm
Hi Chris…
I really enjoy reading your website as it is very informative.
Here is my situation…
My boyfriend of 2yrs. just recently broke up with me(6 days). I am now embarking on my 30 days of NC, but while my boyfriend and I were dating he introduced me to Hapkido (a form of martial arts). I began taking the class and I am now a yellow belt. The problem is that I do not want to stop going because I really enjoy the art; and he is currently working on his black belt and I would not ever ask him to give up something he loves so much.
So there lies the impasse to the NC rule. I see him every Tuesday and Thursday night so the class puts us in the same place without it being a coincident on either party.
I have read your NC rules and while it gave a few excusable scenarios, my case is a little different. There are only 5 other individuals that attend the class apart from the 3 instructors; and the class room is not huge and there will be times that I may be asked to practice moves with him.
How am I to approach this situation under the NC rules?
Should I avoid eye, verbal, and physical contact unless absolutely necessary?
Your advice would surely be appreciated Chris!
admin
September 19, 2013 at 2:10 am
I wouldn’t avoid him entirely to the point where he goes “what a bit*h.”
If you are forced to talk to him though just be polite, pleasant and the happiest version of yourself. You want to be viewed as confident and full of life.
Kaitlyn
September 17, 2013 at 2:54 am
Hi my ex-boyfriend broke up with me 2 years ago but ever since we broke up we’ve been keeping in contact i see him everyday at school and he is super sweet and nice to me when we are alone like we never broke up but i don’t know if he still into me or not HELP
admin
September 18, 2013 at 2:52 am
Have you done NC? and you should really read the articles on this website TRUST ME!
Also, I highly recommend my E-Book.
M Masilela
September 16, 2013 at 6:02 am
Then he broke up with me for the second time and this time he said its for good.I still miss him and we are miles apart that means I don’t see him.will he ever come back?does he miss me because I’m taking time to forget about him
admin
September 17, 2013 at 1:00 am
Impossible to say b/c I can’t read his mind obviously though if I could I would def tell you;). However, NC increases your chances of making him miss you.
S.Mary
September 15, 2013 at 9:17 pm
Hey, I was wondering if you could make a guide on how to get your boyfriend back while in an LDR. I’m currently doing the 30 days NC. Two days in and he’s texted me today.
However, we are currently LDR so he cannot just “show up” where I am or touch my arm etc.
It definitely complicates things. Any guidance would be appreciated.
Also, how should a family member react when he contacts them ?
Thank you 🙂
admin
September 16, 2013 at 5:14 am
Already made it: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/the-complete-guide-to-getting-an-ex-boyfriend-back-in-a-long-distance-relationship/
niccolie
September 14, 2013 at 3:36 am
hi! need help! :/ my ex boyfriend and i are living in the same dorm. we recently broke up because of one thing. my cousin (who hates him,and also we live in the same dorm fyi)and i are not in good terms. because my ex boyfriend committed a mistake on our relationship and my cousin was angry about it. but my ex boyfriend already apologized and my cousin said it’s okay. but then my cousin is acting weird and he ignores both of us.and i was mad because why would he lie and say it’s okay if he will ignore him? he’s so plastic. so i started ignoring my cousin and my ex blames himself for that. he broke up with me because he wants me and my cousin to be okay. it hurts. because he said that he’ll let go of me because my cousin doesnt like him. i dont care. it hurts because he gave up that easily. then i tried texting him last night, he replied. and he is still caring and sweet. aaaargh! im confused!! what to do??
admin
September 15, 2013 at 1:23 am
Your cousin huh?
Thats a weird reason for breaking up with someone. Something is fishy to me there.
Oh well, I say do a NC or LC to start off with.
Natalie
September 13, 2013 at 10:00 pm
Well me and my ex went out for 4 months and half and we broke up 7 months ago, and he pretty much dumped me because he wanted me to change but then after 3 months hes been looking at me alot and i always catch him looking at me but people tell me he likes this girl so i dont know what to do? Anything what to do?/.
admin
September 15, 2013 at 1:04 am
When was the last time you had a conversation with him?
Tyra
September 10, 2013 at 2:19 pm
OK So I Broke Up With My Ex Like A Week Ago Because He Had Sex With One Of My Old Bestfriends & I Tried The NC Rule & It
Worked He Texts Me All The Time But Then He Texted Me A Picture Of Him & This Girl Hugging & Said We’re Cute Huh? & He Said He Liked Her & They “”Talk” But Then Yesterday He Told Me He Still Loved Me & Wants Me Back But Doesn’t Wanna Hurt The Other Girl. I Just Don’t Understand What To Do Should I Move On Or Wait???
admin
September 11, 2013 at 2:13 am
Why Are You Capitalizing Everything????
Hahah how long did you do the NC rule for?
Stephanie
September 6, 2013 at 1:07 am
Answer would be appreciated 🙁
My boyfriend and I of two years broke up 3 months ago. 4 months ago his dad got cancer and had to have his esophagus removed. Plus we recently moved into our own home (We’re 19, just turned 20) and neither of us were exactly ready for that. We have depression plus all the stress of newly graduating, moving out, cancer, college and whatnot got to us. We broke up. (he initiated it, I agreed) We wanted to work our kinks out. One month no contact I found out he went back to his ex and I called him up and said “Her or me.” The next day, he broke up with her and was right back at my door. Obviously I was scared to go back out with him, and I explained this. He said he would wait and he understood. He was being sweet and buying me flowers, taking me on dates, etc. Three days ago he asked me “Why don’t we give us a shot?” and I said I’d have to talk to him first. The NEXT day when he came over his story was different! He said he still feels his depression and he’s afraid of any strong relationships(friends, me, family, everyone) He just wants people to talk to but not to get close and that he still loves me. He’s still talking to me, we actually hung out at collage today and it was fun. I KNOW this isn’t an excuse, I’ve known him for 10 years but I just don’t know whats going on in his head. Can you shed ANY light?
Additional:
He has no friends..he says thats how he wants it for now until he gets his head together. I’m talking to him every 2 or 3 days, short conversations to
a)make sure he’s okay and his responses are light, happy, and joking.
b) Let him get his thoughts straightened out without my interference.
When we’re together he’s very touchy and will do anything in his power to make me laugh or blush. Frustrating.
admin
September 6, 2013 at 2:38 am
I think letting him get his thoughts straightened out with a NC rule is the way to go for you.
EmmyJo
September 5, 2013 at 9:00 pm
My ex boyfriend and I have been broken up since January of 2011. We have talked and hung out and things just seem different. People thinks he still loves me. He would tease me and things like that, things that he used to do when we were together. He would make suggestive comments, i don’t know if he was just being silly or what. He told me i still looked good and when i said something about still liking him he said he just wanted us to be friends. so that next day I apologized and he said he was sorry about what he said and when i asked what he was sorry for all he said was about what he said and that was it. any ideas?
samantha
September 6, 2013 at 2:49 am
I’m going threw the same situation. In my opinion he still likes you. I’m going threw it to and he is doing the same thing that’s happening to you and him. I would just let him go at his pace and I think he will come around eventually. If it helps I’m happy to help you or at least give you advise.
admin
September 6, 2013 at 2:34 am
You might want to try out some of the text messages on the site or pick up the PRO system on the site.
Kellie Hawk
September 5, 2013 at 2:14 am
Hi Chris, my boyfriend & I had been together for a year (our anniversary was on the 4th) & we seperated on the 12th. We were in a long distance relationship, & all summer I spent 4-5 days at a time at his house. We’re both in high school, so we have a lot going on for both of us off now. The issue (and the result of our relationship ending) was because I made him my priority & put everything else aside. My friends, work, family were all tossed aside so I could spend time with him. He would work for 8 hours a day, & I would sit in his room waiting for him because I would rather wait to see him for couple hours instead of doing something else at my house. When we broke up, he said that he needs to “remove the obligation of having to text me every day” & he wants to “drop the title of boyfriend & girlfriend because its “too much pressure.” He said we’re still dating, he just doesn’t have the energy to talk to me all the time. Since then, we haven’t talked except for the 21st of September, when he texted me saying hi. I responded, & we had a friendly conversation with no flirting & no mention of our relationship. Since then, we haven’t talked. My questions are, was he just being friendly, or do we still have a chance? When should I talk to him? SHOULD I even talk to him? What should I say? When we were together, we would talk about our future and getting married. He broke up with me A WEEK after our anniversary. He bought me a diamond ring on the 4th, so why would he say he needed space a week after our anniversary? I’m confused & looking for a male perspective, thank you for taking the time to read this.
admin
September 6, 2013 at 1:44 am
Whoa…
There is a lot going on here hahaha.
Ok first question: Have you tried a NC yet?
Second thing: you might really want to invest in Ex BF PRO. A lot of your questions are answered there. Actually, ALL of them are I think.
Kellie Hawk
September 8, 2013 at 9:01 am
I’m currently on day 17 of NC, & I’ve been getting urges to text him “I still love you & I miss you but you’re not my number 1 priority in my life anymore. I have a lot going on & I think if we talked about it then I could give you the space you need while we are together.” I haven’t texted him, but I have been extremely tempted.
I have not picked up EBR pro, for its out of my price range by a lot:
Thank you for replying:)
admin
September 8, 2013 at 4:49 pm
I want you to contact me here Kellie. I WILL make the book in your price range. Just email me and we will work something out.
Lydia
September 2, 2013 at 8:15 pm
I broke up with my boyfriend about a month ago. I havent seen or talked to him since, but i can’t seem to get him off my mind. I thought i was doing the right thing by breaking up with him because i thought i started to lose feeling for him. Well, in all actuality not seeing or talking to him made me realize that i still like him. The only problem is that i dont know if he would wabt to start things up again i dont think he hates me i just dont know if he’s willing to put himself out there again. I miss him a lot please help me try and win him back
admin
September 3, 2013 at 3:19 am
Have you read this page https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/how-get-your-ex-boyfriend-back/ (specifically the texting section?)
Also, you might want to check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO!
Courtney
September 2, 2013 at 4:02 am
I had a really hard time the first week of no contact rule and failed miserably. I wonder if there is still hope for me. My ex broke up with me after 8 years of dating. We are in our last semester of college and he decided to tell me that he didn’t feel like I brought the best out in him and he wanted to cut all ties. I was devistated more so by the idea of losing my best friend that I’ve known since I was in 8th grade. There are many reasons in my mind that he could still be the one, but I feel I have no power because I pushed and pushed to try asking more questions out of confusion. Long story short he has now been texting another girl non stop and flirting with her. They had just met right after we broke up and four days after still trying to talk to him… He slept with her. We were eachother’s first. He told me he had no one in his back pocket or looking to do anything. I heard from a mutual friend and I just told that person to stop and that I wanted to ask him. So he came over and explained that he was drunk and it was like an out of mind experience. He said one thing lead to another but it didn’t mean anything and how he regretted it and didn’t really want something like that to happen again. I realize he could have been trying to come off as the nice guy in order to try to spare my feelings, but I’m just not sure. I am aware that he continues to talk to her constantly and maybe more is going on still. I just don’t know. I know that I then decided to set my no contact rule and I’ve made personal challenges for myself within the time frame of all the things I used to love to do. What confuses me is the fact that he still likes my brothers stuff on Facebook, tried to endorse a skill for me on LinkedIn on day one of not talking. On day two of not talking he accidentally sent a text to me when he said he meant to send it to another friend. I know I need this time to figure out myself again, but I also wonder if there is even a remote possibility of him coming around with the fact that he’s shown he moved on so quickly. Can someone ease my mind a bit so I can finally get to focussing on myself?
admin
September 3, 2013 at 2:50 am
The new girl could be a rebound but let me save you the constant worry. I would go into NC and focus on yourself if I was you.
Tashay
September 1, 2013 at 1:10 pm
Hi , i find your page very insteresting . I wonder would this be the right thing to do in my case. I broke up with my ex n of course still have feelings for him. I made the biggest mistake of my life. I am going to try the 30 day rule. But theses another thing what if he doesn’t text me back or anything ddoing the 30day rule ? Please let me know. And i really appreciate your help thank you ! 🙂
admin
September 2, 2013 at 2:20 am
You might want to check out the success section. All of those women used the 30 day NC rule and had great success.
Alarna
September 1, 2013 at 12:10 pm
Hi please help me… My ex and I broke up about four weeks ago it was a nasty break up where he said some very horrible things to me. To be completely honest I thought we would never speak again and I was devastated. But I went for no contact..Two weeks past and I heard nothing. He then asked my mother and my sister to ask me to contact him as it was important. I then contacted him and he told me that one of his friends had passed away. I sympathised with him over the phone and then said goodbye. He then asked for me to call him again which I did this time there was no mention of what had previously happened between us no acknowledgement of hi wrongs no apologies nothing like nothing happened. This has now been going on for the past week every few days he will ask one of my family members to ask me to get in contact with him because he has no way of contacting me himself as he does not have my new number. Each time I call he just talks like before just about general stuff. This is the thing though I have no idea why he asks for me to contact him?! He has not recognised his wrongs or even apologised he has not mentioned anything. The fact that he cant recognise that just leaves me feeling like there is no point I then sent him an email saying that ‘whats happened between us has happened and that I want to move on now’ he then asked my sister to ask me to call him which I never and then sent me a reply email saying ‘I wanted to ask you if u wanted to come to my house and watch a movie’ I ignored him. I then told my sister and she said she would ask why he asks her to ask me to contact him everyday she said is it because u miss her and he said ‘ abit ‘ a bit we all know means a little Im so confused I think he may just be using me to transition into his next relationship please help me please I dont understand.
admin
September 2, 2013 at 2:18 am
He could be doing just that. Honestly, I would go into NC for the full month. Don’t let him use you to make HIM feel better.
erin
August 30, 2013 at 4:03 pm
I need help getting my boyfriend that broke up with me back I have read all your steps but my situation is a little more complicated and I need you to interprate more for me…
admin
August 31, 2013 at 2:19 am
Ok, hit me with it!