How To Keep Your Ex Boyfriend Once You Get Him Back- Ex Boyfriend Recovery

231 thoughts on “Keeping Him Once You Get Him Back”

Aimee

February 22, 2014 at 4:12 pm

Hello i really need advice on my ex boyfriend! I am 17 years old I followed your site on 30 days no contact and the first text and stuff i finally got him back! We was together 2 weeks and he ended it with me today saying somethings missing and he just wants to be single and doesnt want a relationship i dont want him to loose any intrest in me anymore so what should i do?stay friends with him?:/

Aimee

February 23, 2014 at 8:27 am

He also told me he will never love me as much as he use to..can i change how he feels if so how?

Amy louise

February 21, 2014 at 6:33 pm

Hey chris,me and my boyfriend got back together for 2 weeks,he told me today our love wasnt as strong as it use to be and he wants to be single for now and doesnt want a relationship what should i do?shall i just be friends with him for now or what?please give me some advice?
Sarah ann

February 20, 2014 at 11:23 pm

Chris i am back with my boyfriend now its been a couple of weeks and he has told me he doesnt love me as much as he use too what should i do?:/

admin

February 21, 2014 at 6:17 pm

Take things slow… just work on communicating and take things one day at a time.
Sarah ann

February 21, 2014 at 10:14 am

He also said its lost something please give me advice what should i do
Sarah ann

February 21, 2014 at 3:40 pm

Hes now finished it can you tell me what i should do now please

lily

January 28, 2014 at 2:09 pm

Hello Chris, thank you very much, all your articles are very constructive and helpful！My boyfriend has come back to me after 3 months’ parting.He was unhappy and took “a broke” from me because he thought I was needy and pushed him away. The first 7 weeks I emailed him much and he never replied. Then I tried to go into the No Contact for a week, he begun emailed me and I replied back，and I went to No contact again for a week, he emailed me again. I answered him and complimented him and told him I had a life, visiting friends from city to city， 3 days later， he unblocked and called me on Skype. We have an inter culture LDR over 4 years, I’m from East Asia and he is from the America.Now he calls me twice a day on video and tells me I have changed for better, not feel me needy any more. Long-distance,long-term and inter-culture relationship is not easy, maybe we are middle aged so more mature to handle this.
reesa

January 24, 2014 at 1:22 pm

Thank you for your time and effort to put a guys perspective on relationships in detail for free.Very much appreciated.

You said that in the initial stages of a relationship a girl(like me) must be careful not to show herself as “overemotional”(especially in the negative stuff) as guys will mistake it for being a “psycho” and withdraw.Tell me please,how long must this guarding and carefulness last, after first meeting a guy.
Thank you for your time and effort for strangers.

admin

January 24, 2014 at 6:31 pm

Until you know for a fact he will be comfortable if you let some of your emotions out.

It is like a gut feeling you get.
Reesa

January 25, 2014 at 6:44 am

Thank you for your very prompt reply.:)

My problem is I thought he would be okay when I expressed myself(about a failed exam) but after I texted he didnt respond back.Like you adviced Im going to wait a month before contacting him.But this time, what signs should I look for,that he feels safe enough to handle it, before expressing an intense emotion?How can I help him

3)I would like your advice regarding emotions, how to express it in a way that he can take it without disrespecting the authenticity of my own feelings?

Thank you so much

Vivian

December 25, 2013 at 3:11 am

Hi Chris,

So this is my situation now: I am hanging out with the ex again after our breakup in August. He dumped his rebound and told me that this doesn’t mean that he is going to date me. But since then, we have been going out to dinner, movies, hiking, etc. We are sleeping together which I know you advise against, but I really don’t feel like we are friends with benefits because we do have dinner and NOT sleep together afterwards. We have agreed that we are sleeping with each other exclusively. He has told me that he’s not looking for anyone to date. We text each other all the time. So, it’s like we are dating but we’re not, because he says we are not. Also, he doesn’t want anyone to know about us. I think it might have to do with him looking “bad” since he just broke up with his rebound. Also, we have done this many times before, broken up and got back together. I am afraid to bring anything up, like asking him where this is going because I know he will get upset and not want to see me anymore. But sometimes I feel like he is ashamed of me because we kind of have to sneak around and he is hot and cold a lot of the time. What do you think is going through his head? And should I continue just putting up with this and not saying anything? And if so, how long should I wait?

Thanks!

admin

December 26, 2013 at 5:47 pm

Well, how long in all have you been in NC?
Vivian

December 27, 2013 at 12:34 am

Hi Chris,

I had completed about 45 days of NC and then initiated your plan in your e-book. It worked and that caused him to dump his rebound and start going out with me. So the situation I described above has happened about the NC period.

Thanks!
admin

December 27, 2013 at 7:25 pm

This is great.
Vivian

December 28, 2013 at 3:55 am

haha thanks, yes it is great because it worked after 45 days of NC but this is what’s going on now…

So this is my situation now: I am hanging out with the ex again after our breakup in August. He dumped his rebound and told me that this doesn’t mean that he is going to date me. But since then, we have been going out to dinner, movies, hiking, etc. We are sleeping together which I know you advise against, but I really don’t feel like we are friends with benefits because we do have dinner and NOT sleep together afterwards. We have agreed that we are sleeping with each other exclusively. He has told me that he’s not looking for anyone to date BUT he wants ME to date other people. We text each other all the time. So, it’s like we are dating but we’re not, because he says we are not. Also, he doesn’t want anyone to know about us. I think it might have to do with him looking “bad” since he just broke up with his rebound. Also, we have done this many times before, broken up and got back together. I am afraid to bring anything up, like asking him where this is going because I know he will get upset and not want to see me anymore. But sometimes I feel like he is ashamed of me because we kind of have to sneak around and he is hot and cold a lot of the time. What do you think is going through his head? And should I continue just putting up with this and not saying anything? And if so, how long should I wait?

SEATO

December 18, 2013 at 12:04 am

Hi this is Preety from India. Plz try to help me. I am wid this guy since 2 years. He loves me but he disrespects me a lot. Whenever something happens he expects me to say sorry and never admits his mistake. Then in anger,I don’t take his calls for 2 days and then the third day he convinces me and we start talking. My question here is he does not like me to sit on whats app or facebook but he himself goes. Plz tell me the steps to follow because it is becoming the never ending process. For your information, I am the only girl in his life but still I feel that I always do the chasing. I want him to say sorry and run after me.

admin

December 18, 2013 at 6:33 pm

So, maybe you should focus on flipping the script and getting him to chase you this time.

Vivian

December 17, 2013 at 8:47 pm

Hi Chris,

I keep trying to ask him what our status is in our relationship and I know that I’m shooting myself in the foot. I couldn’t help it. I know I’m pushing him away. My question is how can I fix the damage I’ve made? We are still in contact almost every day. I really would hate to go back into NC. I actually completed about 45 days of NC and then successfully got him to speak to me again and he broke up with his rebound. BUT he says he doesn’t want to be with anyone right now, though he is okay with going out with me and having fun. Again, I keep bringing up our status and it’s annoying him and I know I should stop and I will try, but is there anything else I can do to fix the damage?

Thanks!

admin

December 18, 2013 at 6:29 pm

What damage are you talking about specifically?

hasmig

December 16, 2013 at 8:04 pm

Hi i have big problem i love my exboyfriend but he dosent trust me at all all the time he thinks that i cheat on him and im not but maybe because of my past i was cheater he thinks like this but when i was with him i never cheated but maybe yes i lied but for him this is a big think and also he block me in whats up and block my number what can i do help me he left because he thought that i cheat on him and im not

admin

December 17, 2013 at 6:32 pm

Did you tell him that you didnt
hasmig

December 17, 2013 at 8:41 pm

Yes i did but he dosent belive me and i send him alot of msgs that i didnt and i love him but he just block and answer my msgs
hasmig

December 16, 2013 at 8:12 pm

And also im so jealous if he talk to a girl i will make it for him a hell and also all the time i think that he is with another girl and i always ask him and he told that he get bored of it i want him back i want him to love me i really suffer im thinkin about him all day thinkn wht if he is with someone else i want to call and check but the no contact rule and also im so jealous on him i was keep telling him that if he like someone else and he told me no and also he told me that he get bored of this all the time im thinkin about him if he with someone else what can i do i really adore him and i want him to love me back

izell

December 15, 2013 at 11:55 pm

Hi chris i’m back for the third time. My (ex) bf well, i’m not quite sure about what his past text messages really mean. We were already having some convo as I mentioned before and some of those were kinda sweet (well atleast for my own understanding). There were things that he said I should do it only for him. there was also a time when he said some sweet things and he said he can be like that only to me. He also said that he is happy whenever he thinks of me and has so much to pay me (not money matters). And one big thing i am really thinking about is the last time when he said ‘it must be me’ and ‘we are no longer in the courtship phase.’ Btw, we haven’t had exchange of i love you’s ever since we talked and meet again until now.

After those, i asked him what he really means about it and told him i can read between the lines but i don’t want to assume or be the first to take a move. But so far i haven’t got a reply yet from him regarding that. Chris, i really want to know what is it all about. I’m puzzled but yes i do admit that im still inlove with him and maybe just maybe we are having the same thoughts and feelings… i hope you could help me with this. Thank you!

admin

December 16, 2013 at 6:28 pm

Have you attempted the NC rule yet?
izell

December 17, 2013 at 1:26 am

I am doing it from time to time. When it is necessary to text him then i break nc rule and start again after that. Btw, he answered my question yesterday and he said he misses me that is why he is sweet and it means something but he can’t return yet and he said he loves me… and so i told him that i will continue to take care of his trust to me until he comes back..

As a man, what can you say or suggest about it? Thaks!
admin

December 17, 2013 at 6:54 pm

Did he say why he can’t return… I mean if you love someone nothing should stop you.
izell

December 18, 2013 at 2:09 am

Not really but i think it has something to do with his daughter who is going to be taken to canada by her mom… i’m just not sure when is it… that was also the reason why we broke up. Though they are no longer committed for years already. He said before that he needs to be a good father first. We keep the communication open but i let him make the first one to text me…

Vivian

December 13, 2013 at 8:38 pm

Hi Chris,

My ex told me that he has thought about us getting back together but he thinks of all the reasons why we broke up, such as fighting over stupid things or him not going out with his friends. How can I show him I’ve changed? We are not back together but we do go out.
Lily

December 13, 2013 at 10:15 am

hi chris! You helped me a couple of months ago to get my bf back and im so glad I bought the ebook. But, recently, we’re fighting a lot and he’s being an awful communicator.6 months ago he lost his dad and hes been ploughing on but now it’s just hitting him- he’s using me as his ‘punching bag’ hes fine around others but when he sees me he shouts and gets snappy. He says he loves me and thinks im beautiful but barely touches me- I really dont know what to do. is it worth keeping him? I love him a hell of a lot and I know hes going through a hard time- but Im now going through a hard time because of it- I honestly feel like Im in a 40 year marriage or something where couples grow apart rather than being 20 and 22.
What should i do?

admin

December 13, 2013 at 7:47 pm

🙁

Well, have you tried communicating him with a very very calm demeanor?

Brit

December 11, 2013 at 9:01 pm

Hey Chris!!!

Me , again! I was just reading your atricle “How to keep your ex boyfriend…”

I found it very interesting , and sort of helpful , since now I think I’m on that stage. I did everything you said. The NC… Which took 2 months I think. Only because I gave in , and it ended up being to early. I didn’t do the whole texting thing. Oops lol. Anyway now me and Adam have been talking as “friends” for 2 months or so. We hang out all the time. When we are together we hold hands , kiss etc. we act like we are back together. He calls me to say goodnight. All that good stuff. He even started to use the word love when we talk. Not the direct ” I love You” but he will say things like , “My love for you is unconditional” and ” I got mad love for you pretty lady” things like that. We still haven’t discussed anything about us fully getting back together. I don’t want to bring it up , because I don’t know how he feels about it. He started to visit me at my job again , which is a very good sign because he wouldn’t even walk pass after we broke up. I guess I need your help and advice as to where I go from here? What should my next move be? You’ve been such an amazing help for me through out this whole thing. Now , I’m afraid if I rush things again I’ll mess everything up. I don’t think I can handle that again. I barley got thru it the first time , untill I found and bought your ebook.
I mean I got us this far , it’s clear he still has feelings for me with the way he acts around me! What now?!
I helped him get a new job , so now he’s pretty focused on that how do I still keep him interested without being over baring

admin

December 12, 2013 at 2:03 am

Have you read my guide on getting him to chase you?
Brit

December 13, 2013 at 5:59 am

So re-read it. I’m going to try and be less avabile , play the “quiet card” and try and learn how to do the QBT. We’ve been talking less and less now that he started his new job. Which I don’t think he’s ignoring me. Why do we have to play a game for our love to be real? I mean I get you want what you can’t have. I just don’t want to have to play a lifetime game of blackjack to prove to this man I love him. I mean even if he ends up with someone else , I will be devasted , but it would bring me some type of joy to know he is happy. I feel like I’ve been on this secret mission for the past 2 1/2 months , hoping the sun is going to come out soon 🙂 Even then the sunrise is the past part , may be worth the wait to watch it
admin

December 13, 2013 at 7:32 pm

I think that is a very smart idea!
Brit

December 14, 2013 at 6:05 pm

Not so sure anymore… Last night he said again that wrote just friends. If he wanted me in his life he would make time for me right? Everything changed within a week and now he’s doing the same thing all over again. I think I’m ready to give up. Love shouldn’t have to be this hard. Maybe our timing is just wrong and is I let go fully and be his friend without the benefit part he will see what he lost?
Brit

December 12, 2013 at 3:42 am

I have indeed more then once! I don’t text him untill he texts me, don’t call. I’m getting better at being patient with the whole thing. We have come a long way already. I don’t want to do anything now to mess it up by asking him where we are at , even more now that he just started his new job. Which means me feeling more like he’s drifting away again…

Anne

December 9, 2013 at 6:50 pm

Hi Chris! So I successfully completed NC, and my ex actually texted me after seeing me in a starbucks- long story short we have started dating again, he came to a dinner party of mine, we went out for cupcakes and bike ride. Now, moving forward is what I am struggling with, can I ever bring up getting back together again? How to I remain interesting and the catch in his eyes? I guess things are definitely progressing, since we see each other at least once a week….but any tips on moving things forward?

Any advice here would be appreciated!

admin

December 10, 2013 at 6:37 pm

Just keep having fun and doing thing to create experiences the both of you remember.

Congrats on getting him back.

Brunette

November 28, 2013 at 8:40 pm

Hi Chris.
I completed the 30 days of NC, got back in touch with him through several texts, to which he was replying very positively. This has been going on for 3 weeks now. In his last text he brought up the subject of meeting several times, but I didn’t give him a firm answer because I wanted to keep him wanting that a little longer. After that, he ignored my last text sent yesterday though I know he read it.
I just don’t understand what to make of all of this? What could be going on in his mind right now? And should I continue texting him, or go back to NC? And for how long?

admin

November 29, 2013 at 2:15 am

You should have met him!

Try to get that date.

Seriously confused

November 27, 2013 at 7:08 am

Hi Chris,

You have a super website and I love your book. You probably know this but it really works 😉 It worked for me… Well for the most part. My ex and I ended up meeting. He initiated the kissing, but I stopped it because he mentioned how he he doesn’t want to hurt me (because he can’t be consistently present, etc). I didn’t want to have a heavy conversation on the 1st meeting so I suggested we talk later. He knows I am against the FWB concept.

We planned a 2nd date, which was great & we spent the night together. We had a great night/morning together, but now I’m in a limbo because I don’t know where we are… :/ is this where I just go with the flow or “talk” about things? I am not a fan of the latter. Also, I’m afraid of entering the FWB zone. We are supposed to see each other again next week. I just want to be ready either way.

One more thing… We are both actively online dating (doesn’t make sense, I know). I signed up during my NC period and found it fun so I kept it as an option. I’m not sure when he did it… I came across his profile. Yikes.

I’m so confused! Help!

admin

November 27, 2013 at 8:28 pm

Hahah thanks for the kind words.

Well just don’t sleep with him and you won’t be friends with benefits.

Jacqi C

November 26, 2013 at 8:51 am

Hi Chris,

I came across your website yesterday and I’m intrigued. I’m wondering if this could help me? I was with a guy for 10 months. From the moment we met we had such a deep connection and it was lovely. He treated me with respect and was the perfect gentleman. He would cook me dinner when I got home from work. We went away on a holiday and he met my family. All my friends and family were mesmerised by him, we appeared to have that soul mate connection. In the last month he left his job and started treating me differently. He was wanting space, so I gave it to him. I would only go to see him if he asked me to. But he was snapping at me constantly, everything I did seemed to annoy him. I didn’t argue with him and tried to please him, which also annoyed him. Then he broke up with me. He said he couldn’t understand what it was that was annoying him about me, that there is nothing wrong with me, but the connection is gone. I was so devastated. I tried contacting him with texts to no avail. He told me that I need to move on without him and he wants to be alone. The last time I contacted him was about a week and a half ago. I really feel like it’s over, but the hardest thing is I just don’t understand why. Have you come across behaviour like this before? Do you think your advice could work in a situation like this one?

admin

November 26, 2013 at 8:14 pm

Of course! This is so common. My advice is just ot stick to the basics that I talk about on this site. Remain patient and calm.
Jacqi

November 27, 2013 at 12:24 pm

Well I’m thinking of extending NC till Christmas Day. What do u suggest as a nice Xmas text?
admin

November 27, 2013 at 8:31 pm

Do it a day after Christmas.

anonymous

November 24, 2013 at 2:49 pm

Hi chris! Its me again. How are you? 🙂 thanks for yet another insightful guide!

one of my guy friends; he told me that men usually decide at very early stages in a relationship if they want to marry the lady. Is it true? Well. For the case of my guy friend here. He admitted to being a serial cheater on his girlfriend; who is now his wife. He said he knew from the beginning that he wanted to marry her but was just too playful with other ladies. Till he was done fooling ard, he then decide to settle down with her.

But how can ladies know for sure right? Some men may string and date a lady for years not wanting to commit to her. And instead end up marrying some lady he just got to know for a few months.

Would love to hear your opinion on this!

admin

November 24, 2013 at 8:25 pm

Your welcome.

its impossible to know for sure.. BUT I think men strinigng a girl along for years while dating her is rare but agin it does happen.

S

November 24, 2013 at 10:36 am

Hey Chris,
I completed NC of 30 days wid my ex who hs been dating anodr girl whom he liked since his school days. However from the time i m talking to him after NC, he clearly misses me bt doesnt explicitly tells it. Bt also says that he is goin to marry this girlfriend of his whom he hasnt even met since 5 mnths(they are in long distance)( while he used to meet every now and then when we were in relatnship). What shud I make of it? Is he still interestd in me? If dat is so why did he tell me he’s marrying his current gf(marrying maybe 3-4 yrs from now). M confused right nw

admin

November 24, 2013 at 8:04 pm

How long has he been dating this girl?
S

November 25, 2013 at 4:46 am

almost 5 mnths

Just me

November 22, 2013 at 10:43 pm

Great article Chris!
We had a chance to talk a few times and i truly believe your statements on being faithful and being honest.

But.. (and this is obviously my point of view)
I was a lot like you, but i’ve learned, the hard way of course, the old saying “never say never”.

I cheated on my ex bf (and it took me 33 years of my proud life as a very faithful girl to do so).

I obviously hope that you’ll never have to make this mistake, just saying that it may happen to the best of us. I use to despise cheaters, then i realized im only human.

It was just one time and i never did it again and i’ll regret forever, but that does’t change what i did)
——————
Second thing: i’m totally with you when you suggest to be honest, but i still struggle with communication, as i am very much like a guy really. I fear my emotions and i almost never fully express them.

It took me ages to realize how bad i am. Some guys find it liberating as im obviously not over emotional, but some others find me quite cold (which is completely wrong).

In my last relationship communication was an issue also because of that. We were both scared to death to express our emotions, and now that we are communicating again (after the no contact rule) we are still stuck at this stage.

I KNOW he feels the same way i feel. Sometimes he can’t keep it for itself and it clearly shows how happy he is to be talking to me again. And same goes to me. But after that we both back off again.

Ah well. I’m not even asking for any advice right now, i’ve already read your guide and i know what i’m supposed to do, let’s see how it goes.

I feel like an Idiot to be like that, many people describe me like a man incarnated in the body of a woman. Maybe they are right.

Can you please write an article on how to get your ex back if a woman is like me (or better like a man)?

Every time i read something about the topic it’s all about emotional women…what about those who don’t show their emotions at all, and for this reason they lose their men from the beginning?

Thanks! 🙂

admin

November 23, 2013 at 7:20 pm

So, are you saying that you have trouble showing your emotions?
just me

November 24, 2013 at 10:23 pm

yes, absolutely correct.

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231 thoughts on “Keeping Him Once You Get Him Back”