1,044 thoughts on “How To Handle Every Situation During The No Contact Rule”

1. 

   Sofia

   March 4, 2017 at 1:07 am

   I have long gistabce relatinship
   My bf broke up with me 3 weeks ago or less
   I texted him everyday since break up first and he ignored my last message (one week ago). Since that moment I starte NC rule and after a week he texted me and asked about my study (before he told he can help me with it after break up)
   Should I ignore him? Is he texting me bcz feel guilty? (He used to help me before)

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   March 4, 2017 at 5:46 pm

   Hi Sofia,

   That can be the reason but whatever it is, stick to nc. Be very active in improving yourself and in posting in social media.

2. 

   Lila

   March 3, 2017 at 12:37 am

   Am I allowed to comment on a mutual friends Facebook post that he liked during NC? We have over 100 mutual friends, so there’s also a chance that he’s bound to see something I comment… should I try my best to not comment on mutual friend fb posts??

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   March 3, 2017 at 8:13 pm

   Hi Lila,

   it’s ok as long as it’s not his comment and his post.

3. 

   EG

   March 2, 2017 at 3:06 am

   I had a long distance relationship, everything was good, we had an argument and i said ‘i’m done’ then 10 minutes later i called her to say im sorry, at that time she didnt wanted to talk, the next week she called me but she didnt talk, during the weekend she went out with friends and posted some pictures partying, i was upset, i didnt say anything, she called me at 2 am and i just said ‘If the only thing that you wanted to do was partying and meeting other people you could have just told me’ so she finished the call.
   We spent 2 weeks blocking and unblocking each other from social media sites, i sent her 2 messages saying ‘we should talk, we are grown ups, i love you, this argument shouldnt be a reason to give up on this beautiful relationship’ she just ignored me while i was in a business trip for 2 weeks (also i told her i was going to her city once i get back to my country)

   When i came back to my country, i waited until the weekend to take a flight to her city, so i did, when i was there i texted her and said ‘Hey, how are you? I would like to talk to you, could you get out please?’ ( i was in the gate of her complex for almost 3 hours)
   She just sent me a text saying ‘I dont want to see you and we dont have anything to talk about, respect my choice’

   I took a cab and went to the airport, one week later i had my bday, at 3 am she started sending me voice messages (she was drunk singing a sad song, she was in a bar or something) i just blocked her number, she called me once, twice and then i just turned my phone off. I didnt answer.
   The next day she sent me a package with one of the gifts i got her when we were fine with a picture of us all ripped and destroyed (she has a lot of things such as clothing, music, photos so i think she could have sent everything right? Unless she got rid of everything) so i thought she did it because she got mad because i didnt answer. (It wasnt pride or ego, i was just hurt and i didny want to say anything lead by anger because she didnt even went out just to say ‘im done’ or whatever, she knows that for me, travelling like that is really complicated due to my work and i did it)
   Now its been almost 2 weeks and i havent heard from her, should i try to contact her? Im kinda confused
   Extra details (i dont wanna talk bad about her, but also i dont wanna lie, she is arrogant and likes to show of a lot)
   Thank you

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   March 2, 2017 at 11:35 pm

   Hi Eg,

   You should try the no contact rule. Even if you haven’t talked for weeks, it was not focused in improving yourself and being active in social media.

4. 

   Sam

   February 28, 2017 at 1:35 pm

   I hae blocked my ex after an argument. He has aot of anger and i can’t deal with how mean he gets when he doesn’t get his way. Since i have blocked him he has rang me a number of times on no caller id.. Deep down, I do want him to change and value me more. Do i leave him blocked? Also he does have my email incase he has something to say..

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   February 28, 2017 at 9:10 pm

   Hi Sam,

   do what makes you have more peace of mind.. As you say, if it’s really important, he has your email add.

5. 

   Brittany

   February 27, 2017 at 11:20 am

   My ex have had a very difficult on/off again relationship and I have tried several times to do no contact during our off times. Usually after a few days he texts and calls constantly until I pick up. I have even blocked his number and Facebook for a short time just to get some distance. This time I am trying very hard to commit to the no contact for a full 30 days to break the cycle of on/off again, however, he keeps contacting me from different numbers because I have him blocked. I asked him respectfully to just give me some space and when he wouldn’t I told him I was going to block his number for awhile because I needed time to myself. What do I do now?

1. 

   Brittany

   February 28, 2017 at 8:49 pm

   Amor, if doing no contact won’t help , what do I do?

2. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   March 1, 2017 at 7:32 pm

   it’s not that it won’t help totally but if you keep breaking it at some point it won’t anymore. That’s why this time stick to it.

3. 

   Brittany

   February 28, 2017 at 3:14 am

   Amor, he has been texting – just from a different number. I haven’t responded but I’m wondering if blocking him was a bad idea and what to do if he comes to my house because he has no other way of reaching me. Also, I’m confused by your remark – the more you do it, the less it can help you. What are you referring to?

4. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   February 28, 2017 at 6:08 pm

   The more you do the no contact rule, the less it can help you because he would start to think that it’s just your pattern, that you would talk to him eventually after some time. If he comes by the house, that’s not your fault anymore, just be civil and be clear on what you want.

5. 

   Brittany

   February 27, 2017 at 8:05 pm

   Amor,

   That is how he is trying to contact me. He is texting me from a different cell phone number than his usual number because I have that one blocked. I believe he downloaded a phone app that you can use to text and gives you a different number (similar to what many kids with iPods use to communicate). And I am confused by what you said “the more you do it, the less it can help”. What does this mean?

6. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   February 27, 2017 at 7:40 pm

   Hi Brittany,

   with on and off, it’s advised to do 45 days. The more you do it, the less it can help you, so stick to this one. Just don’t answer any anonymous call. If it’s important, that person would text.

6. 

   Katy

   February 24, 2017 at 4:27 pm

   Please help. So my ex and i broke up 4 months ago we had a relationship of 6 months in the beginning of the end of our relationship we would try again the whole time but it didnt work and the last month he didnt want to anymore i begged cried, he blocked me everywhere. So i went no contact two months but i was stupid his mother kept sending me messaged i rplied we kept contact and he didnt contact me and now i understand he knew everything about me i think it is to late now. ….. i told his mother today that i dont want contact anymore for him and me… but i just messed up

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   February 25, 2017 at 2:51 pm

   Hi katy,

   just try as a last resort.. do 45 days..be very active in improving yourself and in posting in social media..

7. 

   Alex

   February 24, 2017 at 1:15 am

   Hi Amor,

   My ex of 6 years, 2 of them living together broke up with me on January 28 and moved back to Spain (where he is originally from). I sent him one last text saying that I will lways love him a day after that.
   Now, I have been doing the NC for 25. Yesterday, he sent me a very long text where he said that he has been thinking about me every single day and about our two dogs.
   I already know what I want to say, my question is: Is it OK for me to reply to his text? Or should I wait 5 more days until NC is over?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   February 24, 2017 at 2:26 pm

   Hi Alex,

   wait, it would be better if you finish the 30 days and text on the 31st day.

8. 

   Patrycia

   February 23, 2017 at 7:58 am

   In the NO CONTACT … is it better to read the text and not respond or just not open them. This is more for Facebook when my ex can see if i read the texts

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   February 23, 2017 at 9:01 pm

   HI Patricia,

   if it’s facebook, better not to.

9. 

   Daisy

   February 22, 2017 at 4:30 pm

   My ex and I broken up last month because we had our moments. But I already knew I was loosing him . He doesn’t wanna fix nothing because he likes this new girl and wants to date her. But the girl he likes to hop in and out of relationships. My cousin goes to the same school as them and she told me the girl doesn’t like him like that but my ex really like her. I get pissed when I seen him on the girl snap. I contact him and goes completely off. Sometimes he replies or he’s doesn’t . An i tell him that’s she’s going to do him wrong. Because the girl is a hoe. We broke up because I promised him a lot of things to buy and I would buy some but not a lot . I feel bad and really want him back so the stuff I promised to buy I bought and get it shipped to his house. He says he’s not interested in me and I need to move because im never getting him back . But I only made 1 simple mistake . An I’m really hurt and getting depressed .,

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   February 23, 2017 at 12:07 am

   Hi Daisy,

   Do you want to try the no contact rule? And you need to check the link below:
   The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends

10. 

    Alisha

    February 16, 2017 at 1:15 am

    Hi.. my 2.5yr relationship ended with my boyfriend a few days ago. He was having many insecurity issues. He always talked and argued about my past relationship during our conversation.. but he always tried to make me happy and make me special at times.. He was of the opinion that I and him are very diffrent.. so after few months of him continously saying that he doesn’t want this relationship.. i decided to agree to him and just left. I started following the no contact rule. I just want gim back but a a new person without all the negative memories and impressions he has about me. He always said that i should stop calling him and it irritates him when i request him to stay. He also said that he could not bear me even for a minute. So i jst stopped doing all this and went cold. On the second day of no contact he text me around 30 messages about how he feels that we should be friends he wants to take care of me and my family but doesnt want a relationship. I did not reply to any of message.. I just wanted to know can things work out between us? I dont want him to leave i want a relationship which is postive and happy. And am on the 5th day of no contact.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   February 16, 2017 at 6:56 pm

   HI Alisha,

   the danger of what you’re thinking is that you want him to change, but that doesn’t depend on you because you can’t control him. But I understand what you mean is that, that’s what you hope happens. So, now the best you can do is influence him by sticking to no contact, improving and healing yourself. Because he has to feel, he’s going to lose you and you’re not into being friendzoned.

11. 

    Tanya

    February 14, 2017 at 11:44 am

    Hi
    I’ve started the NC with my ex we broke up only Saturday I haven’t texted or called him and I turned my phone off he can’t contact but Valentine’s Day has arrived should I go see him? Would that be a mistake?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   February 14, 2017 at 8:59 pm

   Hi Tanya,

   nc means no initiating, no replying, no social media stalking. You can only talk about important unavoidable matters like children

12. 

    Miss Lost

    February 10, 2017 at 6:00 am

    Hi there,

    It’s been 4 months since we’ve broken up, 3 months since we last saw each and almost 6 weeks of no contact. We were together for 2 years and I love him deeply -like no other man before. Unfortunately somewhere along the way things completely changed. He became verbally abusive and stopped trusting me because of my past (I’m talking a good 18 years ago past.) I finally got fed up and extremely upset so we broke up but kept contact. Post break-up he would come off as indecisive sometimes giving me false hopes of getting back together until one day he sounded convinced enough saying it was truly over. I lashed out and did something that caused him pain. I came clean about my actions to him (sidenote this “thing” I’m referring to has nothing to do with me being involved with another person but I did put his biggest secret out there) he said though he loved me and could never be angry enough to hate me over it but that things just would never be the same after that. I regretted everything and still feel ashamed for so many reasons. I just don’t know when or how exactly we lost it. I never had a connection before like the one I had with him. I miss him so much and it’s hard accepting this is truly over. His birthday is this coming Saturday which is causing to think that much more about him. I need help coping or simply looking past this relationship. I don’t know why I’m still so attached even though I know we’re just not compatible anymore 🙁

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   February 10, 2017 at 5:45 pm

   Hi Miss lost,

   you mean moving on? Check this one:
   How To Get Over An Ex Boyfriend When You’re Still In Love With Him

13. 

    Miss G

    February 2, 2017 at 11:52 pm

    So my ex is a very insecure jealous person. he got mad at me at work because I went to a male co-worker he doesn’t like but I had to. he broke up with me because of that. I’m not allowed to talk to any guys, have no contacts ,talk to no one on social media and I had to leave my motorcycle club.. his issue is just men. Can’t talk to no man at all co-workers nothing. And me going to this co-worker that I had to for the job I had no other choice he broke up with me because of that he said he can’t do it no more. other than his jealousy insecurity issues he is the perfect guy and I love him. I’ve been doing no contact for 3 days now and I doing the right thing what should I do? Also he is very stubborn and has a big ego kind of a show off.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   February 3, 2017 at 4:18 pm

   Hi Miss g,

   realistically can you really agree to that for long? that’s not healthy.. it’s not a healthy relationship if it’s like that and the more you allow him, the more he will do it.. that’s good that you’re in nc, start being active in improving yourself and making new friends. but what im concerned is, are you hoping he will change? because if yes, have you talked to him about it?

14. 

    Jenny Knight

    February 2, 2017 at 3:21 am

    Is it bad if we went into mutual no contact? I’d been communicating with him for 3 months after he broke up with me (big mistake) and was very emotional. He told me he was dating his friend from high school two months into that 3 months and I feel like the fact that I kept talking to him and bringing up our relationship caused him to completely lose feelings for me and have stronger feelings for this other girl. So I finally decided to initiate NC but I told him so we both agreed. Do I still have a chance to win him back?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   February 2, 2017 at 7:28 pm

   Hi Jenny,

   what did you exactly told him?

15. 

    Lily

    February 1, 2017 at 2:45 am

    Hi,
    Im on 14 days of NC . We were in a 1.5 year relationship, i left his stuff yesterday athis apparment thinking his brother would be there and we could do the switch of bags, however his brother told me he left and only my ex was still up there. So i left the bag in the lobby, texted the brother to tell him his stuff was here and then I
    Left. His brother confirmed me he got his stuff and that he would bring my stuff to my locker at school soon. Today , I bumped into him three times, i was in shock every time . So Idisnt speak. He saw me every time, the second time he tried to make contactbut I just stood there and didnt say hi. The third time, i decided to look at myphone… im trying to do the 21 days NC. We work and go to the same school. I do not know how to do this.. im mix up on if I am doing the right thing.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   February 1, 2017 at 2:37 pm

   Hi Lily,

   I think you should extend to 30.. Just be civil and polite when you bump into him..are you actively improving yourself?

16. 

    Lulu

    January 30, 2017 at 8:14 pm

    Hi amor,
    So i just went through my breakup because he finallt confessed that the past 5 month were a complete lie and he had feeling for another girl which happens to be his ex (best friends now tho) “kinda complicated ” so I ended things with him but he still wants me in his life as his friend for as he says he needs me…needs my support cause no one ever supported him like that whatsoever so I started the NC today..but I am 100% sure that he will most likely contact me within these days and if not maybe in a week or so..and so if he does really reach me out via whatsapp or calling how am I suppose to act? i mean i can ignore his calls and act as of im not there to reply but do I ask him afterwards what he wanted by calling? and if he texted by whatsapp do I just open the text and not reply ? tho hes a virgo/ kinda stubborn guy Im kinda a bit scared if I ignored him much and not reply at any of his attempts he might feel humiliates and just stop reaching me for good..what to do?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   January 31, 2017 at 2:56 pm

   Hi Lulu

   you can open the messages but dont reply. He has to think you’re not his friend because he already friendzoned you… Be active in improving yourself too

17. 

    Frida

    January 28, 2017 at 5:54 pm

    Hi
    Hope you get my text and reply. I just sent it and i don’t know if it’s delivered

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   January 29, 2017 at 10:06 am

   Hi Frida,

   yes it did went through..
   you can’t change other people.. That’s why you need to know your standards, your non negotiables. There’s a chance that a person will change to make another person stay, but that is because they know they have to or the other person will not care and walk away if they dont.

18. 

    Frida

    January 28, 2017 at 5:51 pm

    Hi’?
    I’m i have a burning question. Please help me.
    My ex and I broke up 4 months ago. I’m currently doing no contact and I’m on the 17th day of it.
    I am so mad at my ex boyfriend and i feel like talking to him and putting some sense into his head for all the wrong things he has done. I do love him but he’ll never change his ways.
    He has been lying to me ever since we were dating and I don’t even know why he has the need to lie to me. He is keeps things to himself and he lies and I don’t think he’ll ever change and it really hurts me. I know most of what he has ever told me have always been lies and that just makes me so angry coz it’s hard to know when he is saying the truth or not.
    I’ve made inquiries from people but they say he doesn’t talk about personal stuff with people. He doesn’t give out his phone to his friends yet he’ll want to go through other peoples phones. I have a feeling he is hiding so much that’s not good. Like talking to other girls in a sexual way. I know he has done that but how do i control myself and no one has ever even told him the truth about he does. He has an ego and he always doesn’t seem to care or get affected by most things. I am so tempted to contact him and tell him what’s on my mind.Is there hope for us if i don’t even trust him? I really need your help. Can he change and stop lying and also stop hiding things from people and doing whatever he does in secret?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   January 29, 2017 at 10:06 am

   Hi Frida,

   yes it did went through..
   you can’t change other people.. That’s why you need to know your standards, your non negotiables. There’s a chance that a person will change to make another person stay, but that is because they know they have to or the other person will not care and walk away if they dont.

19. 

    Maria

    January 18, 2017 at 6:45 am

    Hi Amor,
    So about 2 weeks ago I bought the Ex Recovery System in hopes of getting my ex back. My ex and I have been friends since middle school and started dating in high school. As of right now we are both 22. We dated for 2 1/2 years before he initiated the break up, which was 2 years ago. He said we were fighting too much and his feelings were going away. I made the mistake of begging him not to leave. We remained friends, but still continued be intimate. His feelings would come and go, but I still love him, I always have. I read about the No Contact Rule and decided to give it a shot. I am now on Day 7. He tried to contact me on Day 2 and on Day 4. Will any of this help me? Or am I wasting my time with the No Contact Rule? Thank you for your time!

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   January 18, 2017 at 7:45 pm

   Hi Maria,

   i’m not sure, I understood your question.. did you mean you just want to move on or break nc and talk to him? If it’s the later, dont.. focus in improving yourself instead .

20. 

    WinterBlues

    January 7, 2017 at 2:11 am

    I am uncertain of what to do, I didn’t exactly follow the NC rules. So, on December 1st my boyfriend and I broke up after 2 years of dating. Prior to this, about 2 months prior he kept saying he needs a break and that he doesn’t know what he wanted. I was willing to give him a break – while occasionally texting and maybe seeing eachother once a week. But still he came back to me with “I don’t know what I want, but I still love you” .. being both in our 30s and knowing that I wanted a family, I didn’t like being toyed around especially since we were getting serious and plans were made to come to my country and meet my family. So I felt I had no choice but to end the relationship, I told him – I love you and I am willing to support you as your girlfriend through this and he stated “I don’t want this relationship but I still love you and I don’t want to let you go.” He also stated that he feels very confused and depressed with work influences and wants to just enjoy time with his friends without me. And as an aside, I am not a clingy person and have always been supportive of him enjoying time with this friends. Naturally, I was confused and felt I had no choice but to end it to protect my heart from further heartache as this boy is clearly confused. Now 15 days after NC – I texted him and asked “are you happy” and he responded with “No, I am not, I still love you and want to work things out” … we texted back and forth with eachother and met up and talked, I asked him what that text meant and he kept saying the same things “I don’t know what I want still, I think I want you in my future, etc” Which again, really confusing and I said, you need to figure yourself out and until that happens I can’t be with you. We were no contact until he sent me a text on christmas telling me that he loves me and to wish me a merry xmas … I was so tired of being toyed around – I just responded with “you too” and now there has been no contact ever since. I don’t hear from him nothing. I asked a mutual friend if he has talked to him about us, His friend tells me that he tells him that he felt I was very cold of how I responded to him at christmas and stated that he was sad when he saw I unfriended him on facebook – but still has not made he effort to call or text me or at least put some action toward making this happen. I am very sad, I love him – during this NC I really went into a great depression, I am now slowly getting out of it – I have been hanging out with new people, going on road trips, and putting more effort into my career. Can this not be salvaged? Should I just let it go? Any thoughts?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   January 8, 2017 at 5:47 pm

   Hi Winterblues,

   I think as a last resort, restart the count of nc after this and do 30 days and just focus in healing and improving.Move on without fully moving on.. and then after nc slowly rebuild rapport and attraction with him but don’t be too available.. if it doesn’t work, then move on..