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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
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The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
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Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
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Post categories
Isabel
August 4, 2018 at 5:56 pm
Hi I’m 19, almost 3 months pregnant I left my ex because he hit me and it’s going to be 3 weeks and he already has a girlfriend we don’t talk unless it’s about the baby is there any chance that we’d ever get back together or is it done for good? The reason we broke up was because he hit me obviously and things werent all that great with us we would argue all the time
Chris Seiter
August 5, 2018 at 2:08 am
Hi Isabel….your focus should be on “you” and your baby to come. Abuse is a serious matter and you should avoid any environment that is not safe for you.
Chris Seiter
August 5, 2018 at 2:08 am
Hi Isabel….your focus should be on “you” and your baby to come. Abuse is a serious matter and you should avoid any environment that is not safe for you.
Des
May 5, 2018 at 5:44 pm
So my person and i broke up on the 18 of April. He took my virginity when i was 15 and we grew apart. Started dating again in 2015 and then October of 2016 found out he cheated and got someone else pregnant. Btw Im 22 now he’s 24. Will be 25 a few days after my due date the 22 of Nov. When he found out I was pregnant he was so happy i know his whole family and they love me. They want to throw my baby shower and all. But my first ultra sound was the 16th of April and we planned on going he was taking me but then he said his mom had an housing appointment at the same time as my appointment. I will not lie I was pissed. And let him know it hurt my feelings Its a big moment. Any ways he got put out the next day and i was still mad and was not being his loveing supportive girl he needed at that time. So on the 18 i tryed to apologize to him but he didnt want to hear it and just told me to contact him about the baby. And it hurt me more so i told him there would no baby for him to worry about and that i was going to plan parenthood. The same day EMS came and took me to the ER due to my hurting and me falling out. I love him so much always have but now so much more I want him around so bad he use to hold my belly while i slept and talked to my belly I was so happy I have genetics testing on the 14th of may I told him he said okay so i hope he shows up but its and hour in between so OB at 11 then the genetics at 1:15 idk what we can do in that hour time help
Chris Seiter
May 5, 2018 at 11:17 pm
Hi Des…your health and the baby’s health is top priority and I know you and your partner will team up to make that your joint priority. It sounds like anger got in between the two of you for a spell, but you both can rise above all that as you embrace the future. Find balance in your emotions as this period you are in certainly can be stressful, but it can be a most beautiful time as well with balance.
Des
May 5, 2018 at 11:25 pm
He also did atmet he was scared at 1 point
Chris Seiter
May 5, 2018 at 11:54 pm
That’s good. That means he is make an effort to confront some of his fears. Once you speak them, they are not so scary.
Des
May 5, 2018 at 11:23 pm
Do I apply the no contact rule. I really want my family so bad. And that hour in between what do i do
Chris Seiter
May 5, 2018 at 11:53 pm
I don’t think No contact is the right recipe for this situation. Just go slow with the communications so neither of your stumble and get each other upset again. There is a lot going on in your life…bring a child into the world is a sobering responsibility. So it can take time for some guys to process all this and when emotions are flying around, it makes it more difficult. The hour in between will be just fine. Talk about what it feels like to have life inside you.
Courtney
April 23, 2018 at 1:09 pm
Hi,
I have an interesting situation. I am 19 weeks pregnant and will be a first time single mom. I met the dad a month before getting pregnant (unplanned) thru a mutual friend and we were friends with benefits at the time. When I told him I was pregnant he was really scared…he’s 23 and I’m 27. Then he found out about someone else I was messing around with (before I knew I was pregnant) and he got jealous (said “but you’re my only special friend”) and told me he just wanted to be friends. It’s been 3 months since then and we meet up 1-2 times per month to update and catch up. A couple weeks ago I made the mistake of going to his place after catching up and he made a move. I pulled away at least 5 times, asking him what he was doing. His response was “sorry I’m being a guy”. I caved, cuz I’m horny af in my second trimester and now idk how I feel about that decision. We used to hang out and communicate so much more before he found out I was pregnant, like daily talking and seeing each other every week. Now it’s so much less and he bails on me all the time. It’s really starting to piss me off. He also hasn’t told any friends or family about the pregnancy. I’m scared he is going to be like this when the baby arrives and I need support. I don’t want my baby to be disappointed by his dad. I also don’t know what to expect for my relationship with the dad…should we continue trying to be friends? He’s made it clear he doesn’t want to be in a relationship (I can’t see us together either). But with all these hormones, I’m feeling like I might get attached or develop feelings. He is coming to my 20 week ultrasound this week (he asked about it), and I’m scared it might lead to ya hooking up again…Please help!
Chris Seiter
April 23, 2018 at 9:07 pm
Hi Courtney….first of all, congratulations. I think there are some positive here. Maybe the whole thing is a bit confusing and overwhelming to him. So perhaps we give him the benefit of the doubt. He seems to show efforts of being engaged and accepting responsibility. Honestly, neither of us really know if he will be there for you over the long run. Relationships can be hard enough, even without breakups and children coming into the picture. I think your primary focus should be on your own self healing and your physical healthy and the health of your child. Hormones are just a natural product of the cycle our bodies experience for any number of causes. I know feelings can get mixed up when we are having a “friends with benefits” situation. You both have your needs…physical and emotional. So its your call on what you want to do on the sexual side of things. The future is always moving. Sometimes it takes us to places we don’t anticipate. Maybe over time, he will have a change of heart. Or perhaps you will decide that you do not want to have any sexual interaction with him as it creates emotional difficulties. I don’t know. But its seems that the two of you will be connected in life in the future given he will be the father of your child so the pragmatic thing to do is seek to maintain a functional relationship. It does not have to involve sex if you don’t want it to. Over time, you will know what is best for you, and this what matters most.
Aura
April 16, 2018 at 3:44 pm
Hey this is Aura me and my ex broke up yesterday, well things haven’t been going good in our relationship because of his trust issues after he found out that I cheated on him last year.. we been together for three years btw and were planning on our future anyway we had our biggest breakup yesterday whereby he literally said he was done and wants nothing to do with me and I told him that I don’t want us to separate because I am a week pregnant with his child but it didn’t seem to bother him he said he’ll just pay maintenance for the baby well the point is I don’t want him to be there financially I want my child to grow up with both her parents because I didn’t have that opportunity and I know how much it hurts.. but he seems so serious about this breakup. I haven’t spoken to him since yesterday I though perhaps I should not contact him for two weeks then go give him the results and sonars since he thinks perhaps I’m making up this pregnancy to get him back but no I’m actually pregnant
Chris Seiter
April 18, 2018 at 2:59 am
Hi Aura. 3 years is a a good amount of time, as that builds traction. I think he is rolling thru some emotions and trying to figure things out. I agree No Contact would be useful to you and during that time, focus on YOU. This period should probably be more than 2 weeks. I think you should check out my ebook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro”or “The No Contact Rulebook”. Both of those are massive guide books that can give you some insights into how to proceed. You can learn more by going to my website’s Menu/Products link. It has much more advice there than I can offer in this setting. It helps to have a blueprint on how to proceed.
Chrissy
April 14, 2018 at 12:37 am
I have a long story. My ex and I were together for 22 months before breaking up. We were living together for 8 months. He has a 6 year old son from a previous marriage. I was 9 weeks pregnant when we broke up and we planned the pregnancy. His son has behavioral problems and his behaviors had gotten worse and worse as time went on. We had just started taking him to counseling (because I set it up) and the counselor stated that she thought he needed an inpatient evaluation to determine what is fully going on with him. She suggested that this take place if he has another incident of being aggressive towards himself and others. That same day that she told us this, his son (who was completely aware that I was pregnant with his sibling) attempted to attack my stomach where he knew the baby was to get back at me for taking a treat away from him that he got by lying to his father. I freaked out and said that we needed to follow the counselor’s advice and get him immediate intensive treatment. When it came time for the appointment with a crisis team almost 2 days later my ex told me that he was going to make sure that anyone was aware that he never saw his son attack me but only saw me attack his son (I pushed him down before he could make contact with my stomach). He told me that he was going to deal with the problem and that I had no say in anything. It was a very high stress situation and I guess that I was the one to break up with him. He packed a bag and moved him and his son out. Meanwhile I was also dealing with my mother needing to get major surgery to remove cancer the next week. I ended up moving out about a month after the incident happened. We never even really got a chance to talk about everything that happened when things calmed down. About a month and a half later I attempted to get my ex to speak to me about everything that happened (I was feeling like maybe if we could both understand where the other was coming from that we could attempt to fix things and get our family back together). But I was also still angry and hurt by what had happened and he kept saying that we can focus on the baby and that’s it. So of course I continued to try to get him to talk about us. And he would agree to talk and then blow me off. I invited him to two ultrasounds. The first one he never called or showed and then used his son as an excuse. The second one he texted and said he couldn’t come because of his son again. I have been no contact now for 3 weeks. I think that I just want to have some sort of civil but open relationship with him for the sake of our child that will be here in just over 4 months. The relationship was broken. It really was. He abuses alcohol and marijuana and it was a constant reason for our fighting. And because of his substance use he would also hide things and lie to me about going to the bar or obtaining the marijuana. So I know that I shouldn’t want him back but there is a small part of me that wants him to realize all of his mistakes, want to sober up for his family and want to try to fix things with us. What do you guys think?
Chris Seiter
April 14, 2018 at 3:07 am
Hi Chrissy…clearly a lot of things are going in your life. The tug or pull of an ex can be strong. It can sometimes even override the rationale, logical side of your mind. I think that is the part you should listen to more. Focus on your needs and the baby to come. Staying and being healthy physically and emotionally is important, particularly now. The good side of you want everything to be civil and that is a good goal to have, but don’t allow it to overshadow what you already know about your ex…his faults and the seemingly unhealthy environment that exists with him.
Chrissy
April 14, 2018 at 12:52 pm
Thanks Chris. It definitely hasn’t been easy. But I know that you’re right and I need to focus on myself and my baby.
Dineo
March 4, 2018 at 11:53 pm
He broke up with me the day I found out and told him I was pregnant. He pretty much said he wants no contact until baby is born. I haven’t contacted him since then ( I was 7 weeks pregnant and I am now 8 months). He has 2 other children that I helped raised for 5 years and he doesn’t want my child and this NC rule doesn’t seem to be working because he has been quite since that day!
Should I contact him after the baby is born? Or should I just give up? He left me broke, no place to stay, no food to eat – I remember being hungry crying for help and he simply ignored me. I’m OK now – God has been great but I’m still not sure if I should ever contact him again.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 9, 2018 at 10:48 am
Hi Dineo,
Actually that’s not an nc rule because he’s the one who asked you not to contact him and basically he ghosted you.. Do the diligence of letting him know about the baby’s arrival and the chance to be a father if he wants but move on from him..
Sarah
February 23, 2018 at 10:01 pm
Hi my boyfriend broke up with me a week ago and said we will never ever get back together and its been almost two weeks now and I just found out I’m pregnant! What do I do? Should I tell him?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 27, 2018 at 10:37 am
Hi Sarah,
Yes, tell him..
Bella
February 11, 2018 at 7:56 am
My boyfriend broke up with me last week because he said his business needs to come first at the moment and he doesnt have the time to spend with me that I deserve. So I am 1 week into no contact but I’ve just found out I’m pregnant I’m so upset because I cannot keep it for medical reasons. Do I break the no contact to tell my ex or as I’m not keeping it keep silent about it x
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 15, 2018 at 1:05 pm
Hi Bella,
Yep, you should contact him.
Ashley
January 23, 2018 at 7:02 am
Hi i am 7 months pregnant and my ex of 3 years up and left for a younger girl…he was so involved in both me and the baby and wanted everything with us and now i cant understand why he would all of a sudden choose a much younger girl. How do i go about getting him back?
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 24, 2018 at 12:17 pm
Hi Ashley,
You can still try the advice above even if he’s with the other girl..
Bella Rose
January 18, 2018 at 11:43 am
Hey , Im 20 years old & I’m 26 weeks pregnant. It’s been exactly one month since I broke up with my boyfriend due to him consistently partying. I didn’t think he’d let me break up with him , I thought it would be an eye opener. I begged him back for a month straight, but he’s ” comfortable ” where he is at now because he can do whatever he wants whenever he wants without being ” pressed ” or have any drama. He said he will be there for the baby but honestly I want us together too of course. I started the NC , it’s only been 2 days but I need some advice and a little confident boost in knowing if you think we’d be work out. I know I should’ve never broke up with him. It was stupid. Also I know he’s talking to other girls & might even be having sex with them. PLEASE HELP
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 20, 2018 at 1:37 am
Hi Bella,
It wasn’t stupid because even if you didn’t break up with him, it wouldn’t change his partying ways. The only thing you did wrong is you begged because breaking up was actually showing you have standards and that you value yourself and your baby. If he’s not going to change do you still want him back? If yes, just try the advice above and keep in mind, that the advice above is not for him to change, it’s just to help increase your chances of getting back together.
Sam
January 4, 2018 at 5:10 pm
Help!!! My bf is in the army and we have been together for 17 months. I was 27 weeks pregnant and he came home for leave. I was weeks away from getting married and moving with him and he came home and broke up with me on day 3… of 14. He told me he needed space. I was so confused I cried and had a fit. I literally did not see it coming. A few days later he told me he hasn’t changed his mind… I contacted him Christmas Eve and it was the same story… 4 days later I asked if I could talk and he let me come over. He seemed so mad at the world and was blaming everything on me and said he didn’t know what he wanted which later turned into he would NEVER be with me again… I ignored him for 4 days and didn’t hear a word out of him, finally I asked if he had made it back to base. He answered me a couple of times and started to ignore me. I didn’t keep trying after that, I let it go. We have only been broken up for 16 days. We have had a couple of fights which have just made him mad but what am I supposed to do? This baby was planned and now he’s leaving me. I’m trying to ignore him but I’m now29 weeks pregnant! I was supposed to leave and marry him! He’s already been trying to talk to other women. I’m so lost. Please help me!!!
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 6, 2018 at 12:03 am
Hi Sam, .
Try the advice above and check this one too:
Getting An Army, Military Or Navy Ex Boyfriend Back
Clara
December 24, 2017 at 4:23 pm
Hi, I’m 20 years old and 10 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago saying that it was what he “needed to do.” Although he says he loves me very much and his friends said he’s not himself. I’ve been implementing the no contact rule and we haven’t spoken much at all since the break up. I think that he is scared and angry because I didn’t get an abortion like he wanted. I know we care about each other very much so I’m not convinced this break up is what he wants. Do you think this is his panicked reaction? Maybe a way of him trying to gain control in a situation he felt powerless in. I don’t want to hope in case he doesn’t come back, but is it possible that upon reflection he might? Just feeling a bit hopeless.
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 26, 2017 at 7:57 pm
Hi Clara,
Yeah, he’s probably scared because he’s not ready for the responsibility..
JJ
December 21, 2017 at 2:14 pm
Oh, I wasn’t considering blocking him, just didn’t want him to think I did because I think that’d make things worse.
How long exactly is the no contact period and what’s something that’s worth considering ending it early?
We were discussing therapy and I guess it’s worth mentioning that I have a bit of a hybrid situation. He has cheated before, I haven’t (yet he thinks I have), and I’m currently 11 weeks pregnant. We talked about reconciliation, but a good conversation on the phone turned sour and I later found this site. I’ve been giving NC a try for going on 2 weeks now, but all this week he’s text me at the beginning and end of the day variations of “Good morning” & “good night”. I haven’t responded since he hasn’t asked anything about the baby, but just curious as to how long I’m not supposed to respond?
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 25, 2017 at 6:43 pm
if he asks for you back you can break it, and you can talk to him only about the baby only.. that means not replying to his goodmorning and goodnight texts if he’s not asking about the baby.
JJ
December 19, 2017 at 2:26 pm
During the no contact period and if your ex texts you, should you turn your read receipts off?
I keep mine on so people know not to freak out if I don’t reply (if it doesn’t say “read at xyz time” that means I haven’t seen it). My ex text me this morning after a week “Good morning”. I can see that it says good morning, but if I open it and don’t reply he’ll know I saw it bc it’ll show the time I opened it. Just curious if I should take them off or leave them as is and open the texts? Also concerned that if it only says “Delivered” and I don’t answer when he calls (I’m sure he’ll call later if I don’t reply-which I won’t-) he’ll think I blocked him. When you block people it doesn’t notify them. The line will keep ringing and your texts will say delivered on the blocked person’s end so they won’t know the difference.
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 20, 2017 at 9:09 pm
Hi JJ,
you don’t have to block him.. you don’t have to read the messages too.. your posts in social media, will show you’re ok.. do posts that don’t disappear after 24 hours.
Alex
December 18, 2017 at 4:29 am
Hi, I have been doing a lot of readings here including the comments and replies and the actual content written. My ex boyfriend is 35 no kids or wife and I I am 26. We broke up couple months ago it wasn’t a pretty break up but it wasn’t a nasty one either but have spoken on and off and seen him couple times (which I now wish I haven’t). I recently found out I was pregnant but wasn’t sure if I should tell him as I have not been in contact with him in any shape or form for 2+weeks but I did and his first response was it’s not possible as according to him the timeline didn’t match second is it mine third what u gonna do about it coz I need to be prepare for what you will come at me for later and messing everything up for me using this. Then we ended the call with him suggesting me to abort it. I later texted him asking if he can and will talk and have a conversation without being so hostile. He replied there is nothing to talk about beside he is really busy and unavailable until further notice and that we can’t and won’t be together.
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 20, 2017 at 7:16 pm
HI Alex,
are you keeping your baby if you don’t get him back? Because that’s the first priority for now..
Nam
November 20, 2017 at 4:18 pm
Me and my boyfriend broke up about a month already. At the beginning, he told me that we will meet again. After that we got in problem of miscommunication . 3rd and 4th person try to get involved. That’s make him stop and blocks me everywhere. He closes his account. This is a third week that I haven’t communicate with him. I found out that i’m pregnant. I called him from another number and left voicemail. He has right to know what is going on with me and his unborn baby. I’m going to leave him a letter with the paper test result to confirm about pregnancy. Anything else should I do, please advice me?
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 22, 2017 at 2:51 am
Hi Nam,
Get a personal therapist, because it’s going to be emotional hard in the coming weeks..and it would be best for you and the baby to have professional help
Velka
November 10, 2017 at 2:38 am
But how about when my ex has a new girlfriend and found out she’s pregnant, too? I’m just a month ahead. We broke up and when I moved to city he’s in, we met and thought we were back together. Little did I know that he has a new girlfriend and was out of town. When I found out I was pregnant, I told him and hoped that we would get back together. He told me he has a new girlfriend and got her knocked up, too, but he doesn’t want his new girl to find out about mine. Though he assured me that he will cover all expenses for the both of us, the problem is, I’m still in love with him. If I do the NC, he still has someone else. I don’t think he loves her that much because he wouldn’t cheat on her for me. The way we treat each other is the same way when we were together, like nothing has changed. He just didn’t want to let his girl know because she has suicidal tendencies and doesn’t want to stress her out. I don’t know why but I’m taking this whole situation well and wanted to help him also. I don’t want to him to choose between me or her. What should I do?
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 12, 2017 at 11:58 pm
Hi Velka,
You have to remind yourself what you standards are and how much you really value yourself because what we allow, we get. It will really be hard to move on and just co-parent, but it doesn’t mean staying in that situation of hoping he will choose you is easier.
Louise
August 28, 2017 at 9:39 pm
Hi, I’d been with my partner for 9 years…we have a 6 year old child together and am currently 8 months pregnant with our second child. The last year my partner had to move away to complete studies…and I have not handled my stress well and have not been supportive with his problems. We had an argument around 8 weeks ago where I spoke disgusting to him and he said how I acted triggered feelings in his head and he can’t do it anymore. (There is no cheating or anyone else in the picture 100%)
I have had bad depression the past few years and have been awful to him and feel that this is mostly my fault…but this is also his fault for failing to communicate any issues.
Presently we talk for the sake of our child and child to be born…we even went out on a family trip for the day…but he said that he has no feelings to me…they are dead and buried…that we will never get back together and that whilst he loves me he is not in love with me.
I’m working on bettering myself and making a good future for me and my children….but I love my ex so much and feel that I have no chance of ever having a future with him now because of how he says all of these things calmly when we are having conversations…no arguing.
Do you think I should forget about him in that way?
Any advice will be appreciated
EBR Team Member: Amor
August 30, 2017 at 8:52 pm
Hi Louise,
Focus in healing and improving yourself for now and get a therapisr for yourself.. Do at least 30 days limited nc and after continue healing and improving whether you decide to build rapport with him or not..
Susie
July 13, 2017 at 5:27 am
My person (doesnt feel right to say ex) and I have been together for almost a year. 11 months and 2 weeks to be exact and found out that I was 8 weeks pregnant earlier this year. It was a complete shock as I have been told I was infertile and was in recovery from brain cancer surgery at the time.
5 months on and 25 weeks pregnant he’s told by my OBGYN there’s no way an abortion is possible and breaks up with me, telling me we will get back together once “the problem” (our baby) is gone.
Promised he will stay faithful to me and isnt going to find someone else until I give birth and we’ll find a way to get back together.
It makes no sense to me because he is still telling me he loves me, still wants to hang out and see each other, be friends and get back together in a short time. If he wants all that and has plans to rekindle our relationship, why bother ending things in the process?
We’d been together for 2 months (known each other for 3months) when he decided to stay by me through brain surgery – knowing that I might not make it through but backs away at pregnancy.
Susie
July 15, 2017 at 10:41 am
We’ve tried having 3 abortions none which have worked. Its an unwanted pregnancy for both of us but I have since grown to the idea of a child
Its more that he is scared of his parents reaction and having to put his dreams on hold than actually having a child
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 18, 2017 at 8:03 pm
ok, I understand. If you’re continuing the pregnancy, then focus on that because worrying will not help the baby nor you if you want to get him back. follow the advice above, if he’s just scared that means he’ll probably change his mind later on and be a father, if not. You still have your baby with you. It’s hard to look at the brighter side, but that’s your best option because that can help you make right decisions.
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 14, 2017 at 2:47 pm
Wait are you going through abortion or not? Do you really want a guy who doesn’t want your baby?
Leanne
July 11, 2017 at 5:00 pm
Me and my recent ex have been together for 3 years moved in together 7 months ago. Saving to buy a property. I was a student teacher now qualifies and have successfully accepted my first teaching job. We have been having a rough patch for the last few months and both know that things are not the same anymore. Infact he said to me that things just don’t feel right anymore. He went out drinking and seeing friends a good 3 weeks before our break up. However the day before we broke up I found out I was pregnant. I told him this after an argument the day we broke up. (3weeks ago) He has moved all his belongings out of the house while I was at work and won’t meet up or talk to me. I confess I have been slightly crazy, messaging him and calling him with little response at first and now nothing. We have broken up previously for about a month and he said how he hated the fact I pushed and pestered him. But I couldn’t help myself even though I knew I shouldn’t and it was the worst thing I could do. He won’t even talk to me about the baby. I’m about 8weeks pregnant and have no idea what to do for the best. He says he doesn’t want to be with me and that we will never be together. He will be there for his child and that’s it. However my friend told me that he was planning on proposing to me this year. So as you can imagine I’m confused and heartbroken. How do I go about getting him back and sorting everything out? I get the NC rule but I’m worried that I will do it and he will still be stupidly stubborn or that I have already pushed him too far with my crazy texts and calls. Any advice would be great!
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 14, 2017 at 1:07 pm
Pushing, begging or chasing wont help either..it’s still better to do nc than do those..