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369 thoughts on “How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If You Are Pregnant”

  1. Avatar

    Alex

    December 18, 2017 at 4:29 am

    Hi, I have been doing a lot of readings here including the comments and replies and the actual content written. My ex boyfriend is 35 no kids or wife and I I am 26. We broke up couple months ago it wasn’t a pretty break up but it wasn’t a nasty one either but have spoken on and off and seen him couple times (which I now wish I haven’t). I recently found out I was pregnant but wasn’t sure if I should tell him as I have not been in contact with him in any shape or form for 2+weeks but I did and his first response was it’s not possible as according to him the timeline didn’t match second is it mine third what u gonna do about it coz I need to be prepare for what you will come at me for later and messing everything up for me using this. Then we ended the call with him suggesting me to abort it. I later texted him asking if he can and will talk and have a conversation without being so hostile. He replied there is nothing to talk about beside he is really busy and unavailable until further notice and that we can’t and won’t be together.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 20, 2017 at 7:16 pm

      HI Alex,

      are you keeping your baby if you don’t get him back? Because that’s the first priority for now..

  2. Avatar

    Nam

    November 20, 2017 at 4:18 pm

    Me and my boyfriend broke up about a month already. At the beginning, he told me that we will meet again. After that we got in problem of miscommunication . 3rd and 4th person try to get involved. That’s make him stop and blocks me everywhere. He closes his account. This is a third week that I haven’t communicate with him. I found out that i’m pregnant. I called him from another number and left voicemail. He has right to know what is going on with me and his unborn baby. I’m going to leave him a letter with the paper test result to confirm about pregnancy. Anything else should I do, please advice me?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 22, 2017 at 2:51 am

      Hi Nam,

      Get a personal therapist, because it’s going to be emotional hard in the coming weeks..and it would be best for you and the baby to have professional help

  3. Avatar

    Velka

    November 10, 2017 at 2:38 am

    But how about when my ex has a new girlfriend and found out she’s pregnant, too? I’m just a month ahead. We broke up and when I moved to city he’s in, we met and thought we were back together. Little did I know that he has a new girlfriend and was out of town. When I found out I was pregnant, I told him and hoped that we would get back together. He told me he has a new girlfriend and got her knocked up, too, but he doesn’t want his new girl to find out about mine. Though he assured me that he will cover all expenses for the both of us, the problem is, I’m still in love with him. If I do the NC, he still has someone else. I don’t think he loves her that much because he wouldn’t cheat on her for me. The way we treat each other is the same way when we were together, like nothing has changed. He just didn’t want to let his girl know because she has suicidal tendencies and doesn’t want to stress her out. I don’t know why but I’m taking this whole situation well and wanted to help him also. I don’t want to him to choose between me or her. What should I do?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 12, 2017 at 11:58 pm

      Hi Velka,

      You have to remind yourself what you standards are and how much you really value yourself because what we allow, we get. It will really be hard to move on and just co-parent, but it doesn’t mean staying in that situation of hoping he will choose you is easier.

  4. Avatar

    Louise

    August 28, 2017 at 9:39 pm

    Hi, I’d been with my partner for 9 years…we have a 6 year old child together and am currently 8 months pregnant with our second child. The last year my partner had to move away to complete studies…and I have not handled my stress well and have not been supportive with his problems. We had an argument around 8 weeks ago where I spoke disgusting to him and he said how I acted triggered feelings in his head and he can’t do it anymore. (There is no cheating or anyone else in the picture 100%)
    I have had bad depression the past few years and have been awful to him and feel that this is mostly my fault…but this is also his fault for failing to communicate any issues.
    Presently we talk for the sake of our child and child to be born…we even went out on a family trip for the day…but he said that he has no feelings to me…they are dead and buried…that we will never get back together and that whilst he loves me he is not in love with me.
    I’m working on bettering myself and making a good future for me and my children….but I love my ex so much and feel that I have no chance of ever having a future with him now because of how he says all of these things calmly when we are having conversations…no arguing.
    Do you think I should forget about him in that way?
    Any advice will be appreciated

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 30, 2017 at 8:52 pm

      Hi Louise,

      Focus in healing and improving yourself for now and get a therapisr for yourself.. Do at least 30 days limited nc and after continue healing and improving whether you decide to build rapport with him or not..

  5. Avatar

    Susie

    July 13, 2017 at 5:27 am

    My person (doesnt feel right to say ex) and I have been together for almost a year. 11 months and 2 weeks to be exact and found out that I was 8 weeks pregnant earlier this year. It was a complete shock as I have been told I was infertile and was in recovery from brain cancer surgery at the time.
    5 months on and 25 weeks pregnant he’s told by my OBGYN there’s no way an abortion is possible and breaks up with me, telling me we will get back together once “the problem” (our baby) is gone.
    Promised he will stay faithful to me and isnt going to find someone else until I give birth and we’ll find a way to get back together.
    It makes no sense to me because he is still telling me he loves me, still wants to hang out and see each other, be friends and get back together in a short time. If he wants all that and has plans to rekindle our relationship, why bother ending things in the process?
    We’d been together for 2 months (known each other for 3months) when he decided to stay by me through brain surgery – knowing that I might not make it through but backs away at pregnancy.

    1. Avatar

      Susie

      July 15, 2017 at 10:41 am

      We’ve tried having 3 abortions none which have worked. Its an unwanted pregnancy for both of us but I have since grown to the idea of a child
      Its more that he is scared of his parents reaction and having to put his dreams on hold than actually having a child

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 18, 2017 at 8:03 pm

      ok, I understand. If you’re continuing the pregnancy, then focus on that because worrying will not help the baby nor you if you want to get him back. follow the advice above, if he’s just scared that means he’ll probably change his mind later on and be a father, if not. You still have your baby with you. It’s hard to look at the brighter side, but that’s your best option because that can help you make right decisions.

    3. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 14, 2017 at 2:47 pm

      Wait are you going through abortion or not? Do you really want a guy who doesn’t want your baby?

  6. Avatar

    Leanne

    July 11, 2017 at 5:00 pm

    Me and my recent ex have been together for 3 years moved in together 7 months ago. Saving to buy a property. I was a student teacher now qualifies and have successfully accepted my first teaching job. We have been having a rough patch for the last few months and both know that things are not the same anymore. Infact he said to me that things just don’t feel right anymore. He went out drinking and seeing friends a good 3 weeks before our break up. However the day before we broke up I found out I was pregnant. I told him this after an argument the day we broke up. (3weeks ago) He has moved all his belongings out of the house while I was at work and won’t meet up or talk to me. I confess I have been slightly crazy, messaging him and calling him with little response at first and now nothing. We have broken up previously for about a month and he said how he hated the fact I pushed and pestered him. But I couldn’t help myself even though I knew I shouldn’t and it was the worst thing I could do. He won’t even talk to me about the baby. I’m about 8weeks pregnant and have no idea what to do for the best. He says he doesn’t want to be with me and that we will never be together. He will be there for his child and that’s it. However my friend told me that he was planning on proposing to me this year. So as you can imagine I’m confused and heartbroken. How do I go about getting him back and sorting everything out? I get the NC rule but I’m worried that I will do it and he will still be stupidly stubborn or that I have already pushed him too far with my crazy texts and calls. Any advice would be great!

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 14, 2017 at 1:07 pm

      Pushing, begging or chasing wont help either..it’s still better to do nc than do those..

  7. Avatar

    Star

    July 8, 2017 at 12:51 pm

    My ex and I wer together for 2 years then fell out for 5 months he came back saying he had missed me we were both seeinvbother people in this time. We wer back together 6 months when we found out I was pregnant he was happy at first then at 14 weeks he changed saying he felt everything moving too fast and is scared of having another bsbyb, he has a four year old from a previous relationship. He was ok the first couple of eeeks then turned nasty towards me and my unborn baby saying horrible things will be change

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 9, 2017 at 7:22 pm

      Hi Star,

      Are you going to do the advice above?

  8. Avatar

    Marcia

    July 7, 2017 at 9:36 pm

    Hey I need advice I’m 7 months pregnant. Me and the father were friends at first and I never saw him as anything else. Until we slept together one night. At the time him and his girlfriend were not together as from his point it was a rocky relationship from the start. After he said they made up and that we could not have sex anymore I was fine with that. Only I did not stop. I told him did he see me as more than just sex and he said yes but that his relationship was always up and down and on it’s way to an end. I jist kept my distance which was difficult for the both of us. We eventually cut off all sexual ties but I then found out I was pregnant. He told me have an abortion or was hoping for a miscarriage. I didn’t get one is he didn’t talk to me for a few months. He eventually came around but sent mixed signals. I won’t go into all the ends and ours but he has recently moved to another state and I feel like he’s trying to run he’s 22 btw. I am the emotional texter and it’s only been getting worse. He told me this week he wants nothing to do with me and just want to care for our child. He says even though he said he loves me he doesn’t. Btw he is not with the girl anymore but not with me either. I have started limited contact before I read this cause I’ve been having preg issues. So if he ask how I’m doing I respond. He is coming back a few days and we will be together for my baby shower. How do I deal with this I know I pushed him to this with my emotional baggage. I want to sleep with him.even though I know I should when he’s here ima try my best. After he leaves I’ll be doing NC unless it’s baby related but do you think I have a chance or not. He always seems to give me empty promises and prolong stuff until this week when he just said he wants nothing to do with me and sorry for leading me on he doesn’t know what he wants and said he didn’t then.. I hate this situationship i put myself in.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 9, 2017 at 6:55 pm

      If you know you’re the one who put yourself in it, then remind yourself that you can get yourself out.. Follow the advice above.. And have professional help for your emotional well being, so that you dont harm the baby while you’re going through all of this because sadness can have a lot of negative effects on the baby..

  9. Avatar

    Emily

    July 4, 2017 at 5:25 pm

    Is it possible NC could be needed for longer than 30 days? Does it work if he doesn’t realize he’s being ignored? I did NC for about 6 weeks when he finally messaged me “hey.” I didn’t respond and a few days later he said he just wanted to see how I’ve been and said I don’t have to reply, he just wanted to reach out. Nothing about the baby. I don’t know if I should respond. I’m still really angry about him abandoning me and how he’s treated me since I told him I’m pregnant. Last time we spoke, he said he didn’t want to talk unless necessary and has been pretty nasty since I told him. He’s pretty unpredictable, I don’t know if he contacted me just to make himself not feel guilty?

    1. Avatar

      Emily

      July 6, 2017 at 3:42 pm

      I feel like if I respond positively, he won’t respect me and will know how easy it is to get me back. I won’t be a challenge. But being negative isn’t good either. If he just messaged me to appease his guilt, I don’t want him to get away with it. I’m really afraid of saying the wrong thing and messing up any chances of reconciliation.

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 6, 2017 at 8:06 pm

      Being ungettable doesn’t mean being rude.. It means having standards while being respectful..having your own life, loving yourself, being fun to talk to

    3. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 5, 2017 at 5:16 pm

      Yeah, you can extend it but in no circumstance that the nc is guaranteed to work. It just raises your chances

  10. Avatar

    Cheryl

    May 18, 2017 at 1:12 am

    Hi im 15 weeks pregnant and my ex broke up with me about a month ago. We were together about 7 months. This is our 1st real break up. When I 1st found out I was preg he was over the moon excited I was scared that he would abandon me. He would rub my belly and we started talking about how we were going to prepare for baby (anouncements, living situation, ect) For some reason that began to change in my 1st trimester I was really sick and had no desire to have sex that bothered him a lot. I felt bad because I knew I wasn’t satisfying him the way he should be but I couldn’t help it I was sick everyday. We began to argue and one night his phone kept ringing of course I questioned him about it. After that he became extremely distant. I knew something was up. I went out of town for about 8 hours on my way back he began to ignore my calls. I was mad so of course I texted him a novel of mess because I’m an emotional mess. After that we got into an argument and he said I don’t think this relationship is healthy for either of us. He then told me to find out how much and abortion would be so “we can take care of that” of course i was crushed i had already formed a bond with my baby so to me it would have been straight murder. I couldnt do it. He began to ignore me and our contact slowed down. I figured he was really stressed and needed space. Wish granted. I let him know about every visit he hasn’t come to any since we broke up. He doesn’t ask about the baby at all. He contacted me to get his Xbox . I agreed when he came over he was really flirty gave me the long hug and when he left gave me a kiss on the cheek and told me he loved me. Did not ask about the baby. Since then I gotten a few “good morning” text and a mother’s day text that said “happy mother’s day to the most amazing woman I know” wtf?! What should I do if I text him he may or may not text me back but it’s rare that I do text him.if I do It’s usually about the baby. Or I respond to his text. He is sending mixed signals and I don’t get it. In my mind it’s another woman. My heart misses this man so much. Should i hardcore do the no contact. Im scared he will lose interest if so how long?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 19, 2017 at 9:01 pm

      Hi Cheryl,

      You can inform him of your check up schedules, just leave the decision on him if he wants to come or not. No contact will not push him away, he may use it as a reason, but if he really wants to come, he would ask before you even tell him the schedule..

  11. Avatar

    Mama OJ

    March 27, 2017 at 9:52 am

    One week after starting NC in February my ex called and wanted to talk things through and I gave him the chance, but instead he just made promises that he never kept. So I went back to NC on the 8th of March and almost two weeks after that (on the 23rd) he called me and asked if he could send me money for a scan. I agreed and the next morning he called and asked if we could meet in town. He left me at the Gynea’s and said he had to rush somewhere and later that evening he called and asked if he could come see the scan print-outs and I agreed. He tried to get me to leave with him but I politely refused and when he left he asked me to remind him to send me money for vitamins and a chest of drawers. I had to call him several times before he sent the money and when he finally did it wasn’t the amount we had agreed on so I had to call him again and tell him. He claimed he forgot what we had agreed on and said he would send the rest. Two days have passed and he still hasn’t sent it. He started ignoring my texts and when I called this morning he brushed me off and said he’ll call me later. It hurts me that he seems to keep doing this to me and every time I make progress with NC he contacts me and that sets me back so I blocked his number from calling my phone, deactivated my Facebook acc and deleted my WhatsApp. Should I continue with NC or start over?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 28, 2017 at 4:49 pm

      Hi Mama Oj,

      I think you need to extend at least 2 weeks.It looks like he tried to regain power by having you ask him..

  12. Avatar

    Abigail

    March 20, 2017 at 1:32 am

    Hi my name is Abigail I’m 21 years old and my ex is 22. He broke up with me 5 weeks ago. I’m currently 15 weeks pregnant. We were together for 7 years (engaged the last). The day he broke up with me he said he “wanted to find himself, wanted to be free, and was confused if he still wanted to be with me or not.” I was devastated but was cool and calm because he’s been dealing with depression for 4 years and I think the news of our pregnancy broke him. I knew he was unhappy with himself because he got in a real bad car accident 4 years ago that changed his life. He lost his football scholarship, the chance to go to school, and hasn’t been able to find a job. When he broke up with me he said that he loves me and always will love me. When he decided to split I decided I wouldn’t contact him because he wanted space, but he calls me at least once a day to check on me. At times he offers to do favors for me like being me things when I’m sick and wash my car. I agree to let him do these things for me because I miss him so much and it seems like everytime I see him he still kisses me and tells me he loves me. He still wants to go to all our sons check up and I do invite him to them. I’m trying to be strong but his actions are confusing me. This was the guy I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I don’t know what to do?

    1. Avatar

      Abigail

      May 19, 2017 at 3:56 pm

      Hi Amor,
      Just found out he basically left me to be in a relationship with some girl he “always had feelings for in middle school” and reconnected with at bartending school. Unfortunately he was stringing me along this whole time and I feel disgusted because I had to find out through other people and he couldn’t tell me. He basically stays the night at her house everyday, they go to school together, and they work together. At this point I want nothing to do with him but I love him so much I don’t know what to do. I called him to confront him about the other girl 2 days ago. I’m starting a strict no contact with him. Not even going to answer texts regarding the baby. I don’t understand how he can just let go of our 7 year relationship, engagement, and planned family like we meant nothing. I want to say this is a grass is greener case. Should I just move on with my baby. Or is there a possibility of reconciliation. He says they’ve just been talking to each other for a month and a half but others tell me otherwise. He said the relationship is not serious and he’s confused and upset that he couldn’t be the one to tell me about her. But I feel like he was never going to tell me.

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 19, 2017 at 11:05 pm

      yeah, it’s a grass is greener.. Hmm.. he’s probably confused because of guilt and maybe afraid that you would not let him in his son’s life.. let time pass first. dont make decisions now because you’re still very emotional

    3. Avatar

      Abigail

      May 15, 2017 at 1:56 am

      So I’ve been in no contact for 2 weeks now. We have to see each other once a week because of our child birthing classes. We’ve been civil with each other. Today he called me. I didn’t want to answer but because it was Mother’s Day I figured he was calling to to wish me a happy Mother’s Day. Sure enough he called saying he bought me flowers and wants to stop by. He stopped by with flowers and said he loves me and wanted to do this since im the mother of his unborn son. He gave me a hug and kissed my forehead. I was very indifferent. He tried to linger the conversation on. Is this a good sign? Or is he just being nice. Do I continue the no contact?

    4. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 15, 2017 at 4:15 pm

      yes, you should continue the no contact but yes, that’s a good sign.

    5. Avatar

      Abigail

      May 4, 2017 at 4:10 pm

      Don’t no if the NC will really get me far. Starting next week I have to see him once a week for birthing classes. Not sure if this is considered a modified NC. But I should just be indifferent and civil when I’m interacting with him at these classes correct? No more trying to rekindle the speak for now.

    6. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 5, 2017 at 3:54 pm

      yup, just be indifferent

    7. Avatar

      Abigail

      May 4, 2017 at 3:51 am

      It’s been 3 months and he asked a mutual friend of ours how co-parenting has worked for them. He told our friend that he loves me and cares for me but isn’t in love with me anymore and hasn’t been happy for a while. I started to initiate the no contact rule a couple days ago but I feel like he’ll just lose interest in me. Is there still a chance? He’s been more distant recently.

    8. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 4, 2017 at 2:58 pm

      You have a child, so you’ll eventually see each other no matter what..just don’t chase him nor beg..use this as a restart..change your mindset and follow the advice above..

    9. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 24, 2017 at 2:22 pm

      Hi Abigail,

      Be indifferent. When you’re together in person, don’t be sweet, just be civil

  13. Avatar

    Beautilocs

    March 10, 2017 at 1:03 pm

    My ex boyfriend and I reunited after years of being apart. We were both coming out of marriages and decided it was best to work some issues out separately before jumping into a new relationship… we tried but ended up dating for a few months, got pregnant and decided not to have the child. It left us both scarred and it set ablaze a breakup. We both wanted the child but feared the inability to care for the child. Fast forward to 5 years later and “old trusty” Facebook reconnected us. It was like love at first sight all over again. We dated for months and swore we would never part. I was hard on my luck because I was struggling to work and pay bills due to caring for my special needs son. He gave up his one bedroom, got a place for my children (3) and I to live together. Originally the plan was for us to work together and pay the bills, save money and eventually get married. We even begin trying for another child. We were all happy or so I thought… 7 months (almost a year down the line) later, the struggle had gotten so real. My son’s autism turned for the worse. I eventually was forced to resign as a teacher. He was the only one working. Money was scarce. Anything bad that could happened, happened; from tires busting out on cars, to me loosing my car… more money more problems. Arguments grew because he would always get on the phone with his family and friends and divulge all our issues in our relationship. Not to mention money issues became more evident to his parents because his car note had gotten behind. Now I wasn’t just without info. I still received almost closed to $1000 a month in benefits. I would take every dime of that to help us. We finally decided to move closer to my family, get a cheaper rental and start over. We were able to find a beautiful rental way less. I took all my income tax, paid past due bills, paid for the move and the rent/deposit, utilities. I was only waiting to buy a car. March 1, we moved. March 3, we went out and bought a car. That same night he took all of his boxes etc and left without saying a word to me. I didn’t even know he was gone. I cried all night. Called and text, no answer. He called the next day to apologize and to say he was overwhelmed about everything. I realized (through our share cell phone bill) he had been texting his ex girlfriend. He exclaimed nothing happened etc. He was at his aunt house. That same day after months of trying, I found out I was pregnant. He was suppose to come home that evening. I caught him at the ex gf house. I lost it and tried to knock the hell out of him. Instead of leaving with me, he stayed with her. Came home the next day, admitted he cheated and he was sorry. I tried to remain calm and talk through everything. I cooked, washed his clothes, and gave him cash because I assume he was broke. He left for work the next morning and was suppose to pick me up from a dealership. I had to take the car back due to financing issues. My children and I sat in a parking lot, cold and hungry for 3 hours waiting for him. He stood us up and by 8pm I had to call my mom to pick us up. I am completely in shock at what he did. He answered my calls the next morning to explain he just couldn’t do it. He can’t come back because things isn’t going to change. I begged him to come home and went on about we could pushed through this but he wasn’t buying it. He could only talk or answer my calls when he’s at work. Once he’s off, he disappears and ignores my calls. My parents wants me to let him go and terminate the pregnancy (5weeks). He’s all like I need time to “recalibrate myself” and I want to be there for the baby. Hundreds of texts and phone calls… wondering if he’s really worth NC, if he’s really worth it all. He’s 36 and I’m 32.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 13, 2017 at 4:07 pm

      Hi Beautilocs,

      try it first.. try a 45 day one. Do it for yourself. Heal and improve yourself.

  14. Avatar

    051116jk

    March 5, 2017 at 3:19 am

    Hi! Im 5months pregnant. My bf and i broke up recently. Well everything was perfect til february. It all started when i moved into a nee hoyse which he wanted. He problematic with the financial like paying for our rent etc so helped him. And we had an argue before that i said i wont give him the his rights and surname to our child which is my really false and didnt mean it and now hes makin it as an excuse. The 1st time i found out that im pregnant i caught him cheating he chose us. And now its the same girl. He dont want to go with into check ups during his off becoz hes spending alot of time with the girl. They havin sex also coz i read it into his cellphone. Ive tried to centralized the baby and asked him to try to remember everything but he’s close minded. He has also different decision time by time. At first we broke up and let the girl heard it, then the other day he said it was all act since he’s trying to caught if this girl is the one who is trying to ruin us. Then he even made a letter and surprise during valentines since he has work he asked my friends for some help but also i found out that after his work he brought somewhere the girl for a dinner. Then broke up again. He said he will contact me for the babys sake and come with me during check ups but it changed again. He said he will help me thru expenses during giving birth. So now i did some agreement which stated that he will pay for the monthly check ups and meds, he will call and talk to our baby even its still in my womb, that he will come with me every check ups. Hopefully doing the agreement wont make the situation worst. Im trying to do the NO CONTACT and if he agreed on agreement i will just let him talk to our child and be cold as ice. But tbh i want him back. But how is theres someone in a picture already. Hope ull help me

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 5, 2017 at 9:09 pm

      Hi 051116jk,

      Do you still live together? The other girl doesn’t matter right now. What matters more is what you can control, yourself.

  15. Avatar

    Sofia

    March 3, 2017 at 7:50 am

    Hi im 38 weeks pregnant & my ex (nearly 20) and I (18) ended things yesterday. 2 weeks prior to that I found out he was chatting up other girls online for months and once i confronted him about it he admitted to hooking up with a couple of girls while he was out with his mates. I was so upset but because i loved him, i forgave him. Btw my ex recently moved 2 hours away from me to pursue his football dream career this was while we were still together and when i had no idea he was being unfaithful. He told me he had been feeling like there was a loss of love for me ever since he moved there as he wasnt seeing me as much as we use to, and he would always go out partying with his new mates because he had no one else to hang out with. Even though he hurt me alot with what he did i really wanted us to be together especially for our babys sake. So i tried getting him to work things out with me until he said he wanted to break up. I agreed only because i knew i couldnt force to keep him in the relationship. I felt that would just drive him more away from me so i agreed to the break up which became official yesterday. We both agreed to having no contact through this break up though he still wants to be apart of the babys life 100% and he will even be there for the birth. But until then we are having no contact whatsoever. He told me he is using this breakup as a way to see if itll make him miss me & if he really does want to be with me. I wont lie, deep down i hope he comes to the realisation that he wants me back but for now im working on being the best mum i can for my baby girl and im going to try and move on so im not waiting around for him. I never ever wanted my baby to be brought up with split parents but im hoping this no contact helps things. Do you think hell want to get back with me in his own time? Am I handling this situation the right way?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 3, 2017 at 11:05 pm

      Hi Sofia,

      get counseling too because that helps a lot for your emotional well being. But when you say you both agreed to no contact, does he know how long you’re going to do no contact?

  16. Avatar

    Mama OJ

    February 9, 2017 at 7:02 am

    Hi, I am 13 weeks pregnant and 30 years old by my ex (32 in May) who I had been in an on and off relationship with for 18months. He has lied to me a lot during that time and has been going between me and the mother of his two other children whom he had also lied about in the past. He is emotionally abusive one minute and nice the next. He broke up with me because I fell pregnant and refused to have an abortion. Two weeks ago we had a long fight over the phone and I ended it by telling him that I am done begging him to be there for us now when we need him the most and that if he isn’t going to be there for us during the pregnancy he shouldn’t bother once the child is born. 4 days later he texted me asking when I was going for a scan and if he could come with I asked why all of a sudden and he responded “just” and then two days after that he texted me again and asked how I was, I told him that I am okay and he responded with a “thumbs-up” emoji. The next day I texted him to ask whether he thinks I should buy a second hand travel system (cot, stroller and car seat) for the baby or get new ones. He said we will chat later as he was busy with a shutdown at work but he never got back to me. The next day (last night) I send him a picture of my supper and invited him to come eat with us but he never responded so after eating I texted him and told him I am sorry, I should have never texted him and again he just read the text and never responded. So I asked why he was doing what he’s doing and he pretended he didn’t know what I was talking about so I asked him why did he start communicating with me if he’s just going to ignore me when I text him? He then called me with his caller ID withheld and told me he will come and see me when he gets off work today so we can talk. I think he enjoys seeing me miserable and begging him to reconsider our break-up and hates it when I stop doing that. He knows that I love him and that I want him back regardless of all the pain and heartache he has put me through. I want to start no contact again today but I don’t know if I should let him come and talk first. And the other thing I would like to know is, should I respond to his random “Hi.. How are you?” texts during NC?

    1. Avatar

      Mama OJ

      February 9, 2017 at 8:19 pm

      So he never came for the “talk” but he called (again with his number withheld) to let me know he won’t be able to come as he is on standby at work. I knew it was him when the phone rang, answered cheerfully and didn’t say anything. I just listened to what he had to say and then said “okay, bye”. Except for that I have had no other contact with him today (first day of NC) Didn’t even check his profile (which I did a lot in the past).

      I honestly don’t know if I actually want him back or if I want to move on but either way I am going through with no contact for at least 4full weeks. Hopefully by then I will know whether I want him back or not.

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 9, 2017 at 9:34 pm

      If not, it’s ok to extend the nc period.

    3. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 9, 2017 at 6:16 pm

      Hi Mama OJ,

      He will keep doing that as long as he sees you keep talking to him like normal. For me you shouldn’t answer how are you questions, unless it’s about the baby. Focus on other things. Read, see family, go to classes for the baby, watch videos that help you through and after pregancy. Be productive.. but honestly for me, I don’t advise going back to an emotionally abusive person.

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    Natalia

    January 29, 2017 at 11:01 pm

    I’m in this situation, me and him were together for a year and on and off for a year, I won’t get into tremendous details but I told him when I was about 8 weeks, I let him know I didn’t know what I was going to do as far as keeping the baby because our relationship was already so complicated, a couple weeks later, I let him know I was keeping it, he started down talking me, accusing me of sleeping with his friends, after the argument is let him know we are more than welcome to do paternity testing, afterwards I immediately implemented the no contact, I only reached to let him no its a girl, he didn’t respond, it’s been 32 days….Should I just give up or is he just scared??

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 30, 2017 at 2:30 pm

      Hi Natalia,

      he’s probably scared.. you might have to do minimal contact

  18. Avatar

    Sabrina

    January 28, 2017 at 11:06 pm

    So, I have a sincere question… I fall into a few of these categories and am unsure how to approach this. My ex and I broke up in May after a few years together only to reconcile and officially end in October. We continued to sleep together and as of December, I’m pregnant. We had been trying for years & he even admitted when we conceived that was why he gave up on us. Well, I have sense learned that during the last few months of our relationship while we actually miscarried that he was talking to someone else. He is a man who starts one before leaving another. He told me recently they’re telling one another the love each other. He hasn’t told her yet I’m pregnant though. Obviously had I known he had already moved on I would have been far more careful, but to me this was the man I’d been trying to have children with for at least a year… so I allowed this to happen. I asked him why he would be risky if he knew he was moving on. Part of him admits he wanted a child the other he didn’t think it would happen, and lastly… maybe I love you both. I know he can’t love her or I and act this way. Hiding it from her is only going to cause them issues. He stated she isn’t his girlfriend. Honestly he is a mess.

    Part of me wants to be back with him since I know we ended because we had a rocky past I was struggling to forgive, hence the grass is greener – she doesn’t have any drama with him, well, until now. The other part of me knows I deserve way more then this man has to offer.

    So, he didn’t break up with me because I’m pregnant he ended it cause I couldn’t let go of the past and met a new woman who was fun and had not been hurt by him, yet. But I am pregnant and I am now dealing with a man who more or less has a girlfriend, even if he says he doesn’t. I’ve started to do the 30day no contact although I’m not sure it’s right for us. Last time I saw him I was weak and intimate with him – that doesn’t help… I also was very much living in the past because seeing him interact with another woman he met while we were still involved doesn’t allow me to live in the moment specially while carrying his child.

    Any wisdom is appreciated. Thank you!

    1. Avatar

      Sabrina

      May 18, 2017 at 7:24 am

      So, I thought I’d update. I finally took the time to do a real NC. I ended phone communication with him March 30th and texts April 9th. I reached out via email May 6th or so to share information solely about the baby.

      Durning NC he went from texting every few days, to texting daily to texting and calling to giving up to trying again for week to ignoring communications about baby.

      I broke NC on Mothers Day as to say thank you for the well wishes. I also text with him briefly that night. Where I went off on him for starting a conversation but not finishing it. The next morning I apologized and said that even though I don’t want to speak to him clearly we need to speak.

      We spoke for an hour and a half the next night. He wanted to be friendly, I kept reiterating that we are not friends, lovers, or partners. He wanted to know how I was, I stressed it’s irrelevance. He seemed sad, unhappy about not being involved in the pregnancy and not overly happy with his choices, although the last one he didn’t say… it was just the energy. He stated I wish things were different & I am sorry all with a very solemn tone.

      Since last writing I learned he had moved her into his home in the other area, bad mouthed me saying I got pregnant on purpose, and made me seem like a gold digger. All of these I brought to his attention as well.

      The next day I was kind and invited him to the baby appointment for Friday, because I felt it was the loving thing to do.

      Well, today he called. I tried to be kind and answer. Told him I’d call him back, he joked with me, but I hung up. When I called back he was on the phone with his “gf” and sent the call to vm. This hurt me. When he called me back I was asleep and then he text ignoring me and then “fine” so I called him. Big mistake!

      I was so emotional, so not happy, the conversation turned to me telling him to stay away, leave me alone, sign over his rights, etc. This first conversation post NC I was centered and in my strength. I know it’s normal for him having a gf to bother me, but it brings out the worst in me… all emotions, not centered & at peace.

      The first convo was great. It ended with him not wanting to get off the phone even though he was passing out on the line. He even said tonight he was looking forward to seeing me on Friday. He also admitted part of him could see a family with me. He also pulled the I will always love you card which I rebutted, love doesn’t do this… but before hanging up he told me “I love you” again.

      I can’t handle the having a girlfriend ish. I know being the bigger person and acting from a place of love is right, but man… the emotions from feeling it hurt… even after a month.

      I see him having distance from me is good. He misses what isn’t there. He felt left out of the pregnancy. Which I told him was his choice during the good convo. He had said to me the month prior he would go on a baby Moon with me but doesn’t want to deal with the consequences if I told the other woman, like I did before. He also brought this up in the first convo “I don’t want to talk about her” “That’s fine with me, me neither” “I feel like I cant tell you anything without you going back to her” However, if it’s nothing bad why would he care 1. and 2. I don’t want anything to do with her. Only told her he cheated cause she or he should have told me. But I digress, sorry.. during the first convo I really felt an overwhelming sense of sadness with his choices.

      He wants to be cool with me, but I don’t want friends so… I feel like I need to say sorry for last night. Express I am not in a place to be his friend. Let him come to the appointment, but keep my distance!

      It’s such a hard palaces to be in. Part of me wants to be a family, the other part wants to be away from him and have him sign over his rights. =|

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 19, 2017 at 9:41 pm

      have you decided?

    3. Avatar

      Sabrina

      March 16, 2017 at 9:58 pm

      Thank you Amor. As much as I would like to get back with him as the father of my child. He is not changing… and I don’t foresee it anytime soon. Sadly, his loss <3 thanks again!

    4. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 17, 2017 at 6:06 pm

      that’s rught3..its his loss! You’re welcome!

    5. Avatar

      Sabrina

      March 14, 2017 at 12:29 pm

      Thank you for writing back. Since this time I learned he was lying to me the whole time. The woman he cheated on me with Sept 15 is the same woman who made it look like he cheated in May which is the same woman he is with now. Turns out May he did cheat with her even though he said he didn’t and made her look like a crazy stalker in May.

      Idk, what to do. He isn’t committed to her. Before he told me had a gf in Feb I slept with him in Jan. I then stayed away… and when he saw me to talk this past weekend he pushed sex. I don’t feel raped, but he was like being more pushy then normal. I physically wanted it so I can’t call it rape but I definitely said no a few times, pulled away, and asked him why he wanted to sleep with me. He didn’t really answer. I won’t do this again! I Mt goes against who I am even though she slept with him while he was my bf.

      We spoke, he doesn’t plan on leaving her, he said she took the news about the baby well… which is normal. She has ALWAYS wanted him. He would end it and she just waits on a back burner for him. They work near one another and half to see each other, because of this she just pushes her way back & he takes her.

      I really, in my heart, don’t know. He says he’s committed to her, trying to treat her right, but he can’t be around me without wanting to be with me. He’s even said he’s polyamorous. He said that if he left her to come back to me he would just cheat on me again and he doesn’t want to hurt me. He thinks he will cheat on her again, but is trying to treat her right. He doesn’t say he’s in love with her. He says he loves us both.

      I really don’t know what to do… my pregnant part wants him back. I don’t think he will cheat. Because if I walk away he won’t cheat on her. If she would stop being obsessed and leave he wouldn’t go back.

      I have tried doing NC but makes me feel bad so I answered which always leads to a fight. He text Sat asking how’s it going? He then text Mon a picture and comment he thought I’d find funny. He’s back in our area not hers… so he’s got time to think. Tues am how are you? Tue pm pic of the pillow he bought me, “I’ll use this I’m bloated” Wed am I guess this line is blocked – I feel bad, say no… the chain of hated opens up because I’m mad at him. To where we saw one another and slept together.

      =\ idk what to do… it seems like NC could work, but do I really want him back? He’s also building his life so he can live in her area more then ours. This is where I would love your honest opinion. Thank you Amor!

    6. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 16, 2017 at 8:06 am

      then use nc to heal and reflect for now..

    7. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 29, 2017 at 11:06 am

      Hi Sabrina,

      yes its a grass is greener.. He doesnt see that the pregnancy outweighs what he thinks about you.. Its not it’s all your fault..it’s just that he has already associated you to bad memories..

  19. Avatar

    Veronica

    December 20, 2016 at 7:06 pm

    I’ve been in a relationship for five years. We have been trying to have a baby for the past year. I am now five months pregnant. He broke up with me a month ago. He made very good money but about 2 years ago he was laid off of work. I took care of the household for the past two years financially. Shortly after we found out we were pregnant he got his job back which requires a lot of traveling. We moved into a bigger place which requires his help financially although not much. One month after going back to his old job he broke up with me. He began being very mean and nasty toward me. I honestly don’t know what’s going on or if he has someone else but it was very strange and out of the blue. He has become so harsh and will not talk to me and blocked me from his phone. We live together and he has not come back home since leaving for work last month. His job will take him away for months at a time. But we’ve always made sure we see each other. But not this time. I am not only heart broken but it hurts because it seems like the interest in this baby has gone. He initially would call every night to be put on speaker phone to talk to the baby and now I’m getting nothing. Two days ago we had a long talk which turned into arguing but I got him to start calling to speak to the baby at night time because it’s very important to me that she hears his voice while still inside of me. I explained to him that it’s so much bigger than the two of us at this point but he’s just so nasty and seems so angry towards me as if I did something and I know that I did not. When I ask him why did he decide to walk away from me now while pregnant he gives 1 million different excuses which are lies. I really don’t know what’s going on all I know is that I want my family. I am doing the no contact other than in reference to the baby I just don’t know how long I can do it because at times I feel very sad and alone. Please help me at least deal with these emotions and figure out what I need to do here.

    Within the last 3 days he has called every night to read bed time stories to the baby in my belly. He told me last week when he calls do not make small talk with him as he is only calling to talk about to the baby. The problem is, he has attempted small talk but as much as I want to, I dismiss it and tell him we will talk to him tomorrow. I had a doc appointment yesterday and he asked to be on speaker phone for the first time. It was actually harder for me with him on speaker than me going alone because I wish he was there. I did find out that his assignment for this job ended and he is remaining in the rental property and refusing to come home. He has a million excuses about me as to why he won’t come home which is why I’m thinking it may be someone else. However he is a loner and a little strange so it’s hard to tell.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 22, 2016 at 8:03 am

      Hi Veronica,

      even if he’s a loner, if he really loves you he would want to be with you.. Aside from the advice above, be in counseling to have professional help.. Put the baby first for now..Be with family and friends and enjoy the preparatiob for the baby..he’s still co parenting with you, so dont worry about the baby not having a father because it looks like he’s still willing to do that..

  20. Avatar

    Adrianna

    December 20, 2016 at 5:10 pm

    Hi I just found out I’m pregnant and my ex doesn’t want to be with me cuz he wants to be with another woman and I told him he has a chance to be with me or her and I told him I would rather be with the baby dad and if doesn’t want to be with me that he will never see his child what I should do

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 22, 2016 at 10:21 pm

      Hi Adrianna,

      Do you want to try the advise above? Are you going to do the no contact rule?

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