Popular posts
The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
Recent posts
Do Avoidants Open Up Emotionally?
How Secure People React To Avoidants
How To Know If An Avoidant Is Using You
Signs An Avoidant Will Come Back After Losing You
Why Avoidants Don’t Want Relationships
Do Avoidants Fight For A Relationship?
An Avoidant Will Feel Instant Regret If You Do This
Signs An Avoidant Is Hiding Deep Feelings For You
Why Avoidants Say Things That Don’t Make Sense
The Weird Things Avoidants Do When They Like You
Post categories
Moobi
February 9, 2014 at 7:47 pm
My boyfriend and i were dating for almost 2 years,our relationship was really close,we were serious and had plans for the future, the problem is that he is travelling to study in another country,we talked about this alot and we decided that we will still be together.Three weeks ago we had a really stupid fight and closed his phone,i kept calling and texting but after a couple of days he replied and said we broke up, i kept texting and after 3 weeks i called him, he picked up and said it’s not me it’s him, he complimented me and said he will never find a girl like me but he doesn’t deserve me and can’t be with me or anyone else.He even blocked me on whatsApp and changed his facebook password.I texted him sayin him hey,he said yes,i said sorry i texted you by mistake,he said no problem,then i texted him how’s life but he didn’t reply.I noticed that he’s putting sad statuses on whatsApp.Our 2 years anniversary is on Friday and it’s also my birthday.I want to get him back.
admin
February 10, 2014 at 5:45 am
Ahhh the good ole sad status.
Are you currently in NC?
Moobi
February 10, 2014 at 7:54 am
We were but i broke it when i said hey 3 days ago, is there still hope i can get him back?:/
Moobi
February 10, 2014 at 5:35 pm
oh .. and i just texted him ‘babeee’ i didn’t mean it, im just used to us being together :/
Lori
February 9, 2014 at 7:30 pm
When he broke up with me I said he was making a mistake, that I was going to miss him and that he broke my heart. To which he responded he will miss me too and also said he loves me ( was in love with me at one point). I told him I respect his decision although a mistake but that I was moving on… That was a week ago… Have not spoken since… Is there a chance of re-attracting him? He broke up with me cuz he lost physical attraction and chemistry cuz of my weight
admin
February 10, 2014 at 5:44 am
Yes there is. Stick to this plan and you should have a chance.
Bre
February 9, 2014 at 10:45 am
Hey Chris i’m starting to reconsider if i want my ex back i have gone into no contact for a couple days usually he resinds to my i love yous but the last one he did not, anyway our signs are leo and aquarius and they say it’s horrible we were together 6 months and had our first argument the first week of our relationship we argued every day about a lot of little things a lot of misunderstandments all we did was clash i can’t find a good reason to get back w/ him other than being deeply in love w/ him, honestly i feel like my tears and sad feeling is cause of rejection i usually do the dumping and i don’t think i’m really that into him i just don’t want to be alone.. Should i try anyway or just move on its hard i miss him i want to reach out but i know he won’t respond
admin
February 10, 2014 at 5:31 am
Hahaha well, the astrology stuff is interesting but I am not sure I buy into it all completely.
Have you thought of a compelling first contact text to send?
Bre
February 10, 2014 at 7:06 pm
Yes i have it written in my notes app and everything i’m just scared he won’t respond… it’s been 4 days and he hasn’t contacted me yet, i’m scared and i feel like if he goes the whole 30 days w/o reaching out i want to give up… I feel like he forgot i existed
Drea
February 9, 2014 at 4:52 am
Hey Chris. So, my boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me last week. It was very out of the blue, as we had made plans for Valentine’s Day this coming week already. We did fight every so often, but it was always small, and always quickly resolved. One of our main issues was that he did not think he was capable of falling love, as he had been both physically, emotionally, and sexually abused a child, and it was a defense mechanism. He did care for me and always made that known, and honestly that was enough for me because even though it did not fit the popular definition of love, I believe it did fit into a type of love category, if that makes sense. However, I was and am still in love with him. I know I can live without him and I’m not dying, but I want to be with him again because I love him and I want to be in his life as his partner.
When he broke up with me, the day before he got into an argument with my mom where he was trying to stick up for me in front of her, and she said things along the lines of “she could do so much better than you” and “you don’t deserve her”. The next day, he broke up with me saying he needed to work on himself, “it’s not you, it’s me”, that I deserve someone better who could really love me, and that he did not think he could give me all the good things I deserve. I tried to persuade him that this was not true, but he was not having any of it. He said maybe eventually, but he did not think he was ready to give me “what I deserve”.
Honestly, his mind seemed so made up, I do not know if I can ever get him back. Do you think I have a chance? I miss him, and I want to be with him again so badly. I hope to try your steps, but I want to know in your honest opinion if you think I even have a chance. Thank you!
admin
February 10, 2014 at 5:24 am
I think you have as good a chance as anyone else.
It’s worth a try if you don’t think it will be a waste of your time.
Mary
February 8, 2014 at 11:51 pm
Hi,
Just in case my comment below got lost. I did everything as outlined here (never broke no contact before 30 days were up, etc). He still wants to be just friends, but I still want him back. What should I do now?
Please advice!
Thanks
Mary
admin
February 9, 2014 at 4:51 am
He still wants to be friends?
What have your interactions been like?
Mary
February 9, 2014 at 9:13 am
He wants to build a friendship slowly. I contacted him on day 35 after NC, and met for coffee after we exchanged a few messages (I asked him to meet up). He was friendly, but he made it clear that all we’re ever going to be is friends. But I really want him back? what should I do?
Stef
February 8, 2014 at 12:18 pm
I really want your opinion on sth.. What does ”we can’t be together means”? everytime I try to bring the subject to us with my ex he brings that up but wont explain! What do you think? is there any hope at all?
admin
February 8, 2014 at 6:21 pm
Is that all he said? Just “we can’t be together?”
Stef
February 9, 2014 at 12:50 pm
yes..he once said that he doesn’t like it when I take it for granded when he says that we’ll meet.Can it be that the reason?? or is it sth else? if you can tell me I’d really appreciate it!
Sarah ann
February 8, 2014 at 11:49 am
Hey chris i did first and second text and they both went great i think but how long should i wait to text him again and what should i mention and should i carry the conversation going or end it? Thanks
admin
February 8, 2014 at 6:20 pm
Carry it a bit longer.
Sarah ann
February 9, 2014 at 11:18 am
So how long should i wait for the next text?
Sarah ann
February 9, 2014 at 11:23 am
And what should i mention in the message?its my third text to him?
Amy louise
February 7, 2014 at 5:10 pm
Chris,i tried my second text today and i got no reply! On my phone it tells me he has seen it! What should i do?i feel if i just leave him he will just get on with his life?
Amy louise
February 7, 2014 at 5:11 pm
Never mind he has got back to me,thankyou chris this feels great!
Steph
February 7, 2014 at 5:04 pm
I was seeing a guy for 4 months. Everything was great but he did initially tell me he wasn’t looking for anything serious. The more and more we hung out, things ended up getting more serious. I thought perhaps he changed his mind and wanted to pursue “us.”
During month 5, he started to be distant and partying more with other friends. He said he really really liked me but just doesn’t want to have a serious relationship right now in his life. We tried the “just friends” thing but it wasn’t working. We are still attracted to each other but he wants to do his thing and hang out with whoever he wants whenever he wants without feeling like he is upsetting me. I hear from our mutual friends how much he has told them he likes me and what a great person I am, but then he goes off flirting with other girls and partying too much. That’s why the “just friends” thing didn’t work. I was ok with him hanging with other people, but not flirting with them!
If he really thinks fondly of me and that I am such an amazing person, wouldn’t he want to keep me around, not push me away?? I think he assumes a serious relationship would involve me taking away his control of his life or something, which isn’t true.
Also, are these texts after the 30 day NC supposed to be all at separate times? Like “good times” one day. Then “jealousy” another day and “heart to heart” a feel days later?
Ashley
February 7, 2014 at 1:09 pm
Hey Chris,
I just had a question on timing – I did my no contact and then my first contact text and got what I would say is a mostly positive response (I say mostly positive just because he responded quickly and receptively but didn’t really ask how I was/like didn’t try to continue the conversation). I remained in control like you said but what I was wondering is – what if he doesn’t text me at all? Is it bad to always initiate the conversation first at this stage? And also, how long should I wait before I drop the “good times” texts – I don’t want to seem like I’m just randomly texting him sometimes like in an annoying way. Thanks so much!
Sarah
February 7, 2014 at 10:30 am
Hello there, I recently underwent a break up with my boyfriend of 2 years. I am 21 he is 20, he is also my first boyfriend, first relationship, first everything. He was amazing when we first started dating, but over the years his impatience and selfishness became more apparent. God knows I did everything I could for that boy and yet now that we’re broken up, he claims that he was unhappy with me for a year of our 2 year relationship and that he just suffered so he didn’t have to hurt me. I know that there is no way he could’ve been unhappy with me for that long because we got along great. We rarely fought and we had so much in common. I do admit that we might have spent a little too much time together and that hindered our relationship because he felt as though he couldn’t talk to anyone else without hurting my feelings. He never expressed this to me so I thought he was equally devoted all the while his hate for me grew.
Now that we’ve broken up, we talked and decided it was mutual, but that we might have a chance in the future. He claims to be much happier now even though its only been 4 days. He also lies to everyone he talks to making himself seem so amazing and like I was such a burden. Basically, I’m wondering, since he tells his friends that hes never getting back with me and that hes happy we’re done and that he never loved me… is there a chance I still have to get him back when he tells me we do have a chance, he still cares about me, and he’s not looking for a relationship… is this just a tactic guys use to look insensitive to their friends or is he lying to me so he doesn’t hurt my feelings.. should I Continue to pursue him or give it up? because I do still love him and I wasn’t ready for our relationship to end.
Anoymous
February 7, 2014 at 6:03 am
Hey Chris, great articles. I’ve read them all from beginning to end and it helped me cope with the breakup. My situation is a little on the unusual side. We had been together for nearly a decade before he blindsided me with the breakup. His reasons were rather vague and didn’t make sense to me. One being we argued too much, which I obviously did not agree with. I don’t think we argued no more than any typical couple over stupid things but if we argued so much then why were we spending so much time and having fun together? Another reason he gave me was he didn’t have feelings for me anymore. Perhaps true and I may have let myself go a little bit but there have been certain aspects to lead me to believe that the feelings are still there.
It has been nearly two months since the break. I introduced no contact but I slipped up to wish him a happy birthday. That’s the worst I did. I didn’t do any pleading or begging of being taken back, I didn’t call or text him nonstop, I literally backed off. I started over the NC and it has since passed. I have not contacted him in any manner since then; no texting, calling, emails, or social media stalking. Recently however, we both attended a gathering of mutual friends. It was quite awkward to say the least but I toughened through it. I knew he would be there but I essentially ignored him. I really did want to talk to him, just to open the door for communication but I didn’t want to push it. I showed up at the gathering with a new haircut, wearing makeup, and dressed nicely. Everyone had been complimenting on how gorgeous I looked. I really did focus on myself during the break and felt good about me again. The evening went well, there was no taking of sides with friends, no drama, everyone was having a good time. We even responded to each other a little when one of us said something funny.
The initial gathering took place at a restaurant and proceeded to a friends’ house. I was going to be there regardless but it turned out I guess he was undecided about showing up. As it turned out, he had texted a friend who was at the house asking who was there, this friend doesn’t beat around the bush and let him know of the people, including myself, who were hanging out. And to my surprise, he did show up. I told another guy friend about the day and his interpretation of him texting the friend was a sign of him seeing if I was going to be there. That’s one initial impression that I believe the feeling is still there.
Another being is, well, lets say we shared a bill together because I couldn’t afford it on my own. At any time he could have canceled it but still hasn’t. It drives me crazy wondering why not because if this were to be truly over, why hasn’t every tie been cut?
I am also in possession of several of his belongings, some items that one might find to be particularly important to obtain. Why has he not come to take them then?
One last thing I found was that he has been hanging with another lady. For how long I’m not sure. It was a little upsetting at first and still stings a bit but I came to the realization that there’s nothing I can do to stop him from whom he sees. Dating? Perhaps. Boyfriend/girlfriend? I’m not really sure. Rebound? More than likely. The irony I find in this though is that our names are pretty similar. For respectfulness, I won’t say our real names. Lets say my name was Cathy, her name was Catherine. See what I mean?
I initially wanted to reach out to him but decided to wait and see if anything would happen after seeing each other in person. It hasn’t been very long since that day but I guess I had hoped to hear from him, but alas I have not. To be perfectly honest, we’re both pretty darn stubborn, and I wonder if both of us being stubborn is preventing either of us from actually contacting the other.. Or even fear. I don’t hate him nor do I speak ill of him and the same seems obvious vice versa. So I guess it raises the question of what gives? Why has he not contacted me? Should I be the one to do the reaching?
admin
February 7, 2014 at 6:57 pm
Well, you are allowed to break NC to give him his stuff back and exchange things.
Anoymous
February 7, 2014 at 10:23 pm
Well, the 30 day NC already passed. I kept his things in a box in the closet. Would calling him and asking he come gather his things really such a good move? Obviously I don’t full understand because from my perspective it just seems like a push away. I mean I get it to an extent but I don’t want to push too much. From a guys point of view, how would that be taken?
Anoymous
February 7, 2014 at 6:04 am
Also, apologies for the lengthy story. I was trying to break it down in a nutshell.
Alana
February 7, 2014 at 2:29 am
What to do when your ex still likes you (I followed all the steps, we are in contact and he treats me the same way he used to when we were in a relationship), but is to shy and insecure to ask you out?
I mean, I think he still fears that he will ended up messing up with me… He is a little bit younger than me and when we broke up, he said that he didn’t want to make me sad anymore.
What’s the best to do in this case? I really want him back, but I don’t think he will have courage to do something, you know…
Sarah
February 6, 2014 at 7:10 pm
If the split was a few months ago and I initiated it and he’s on the rebound etc should I have a shortened NC period or stick to 30 days? Thanks
admin
February 7, 2014 at 6:22 pm
Stick to 30 days I think.
Lina
February 6, 2014 at 2:43 pm
HELP PLEASE!
my ex and I had arranged a trip which is in 2 weeks from now!I’ve only met him once last week since we started taking again in his house,we didn’t have the time to discuss very much about us but he kind of said that he’s not sure but introduced me to everyone as his gf.this tuesday I asked him to go out and discuss and then he just put me into friendzone again!he just keep saying that we can’t be together but wont explain why!he wont answer and I didn’t send another message ever since but I can’t do the NC rule again,the trip is in less than 20 days!any ideas?I want to be a couple on this trip not friends..what can I do now?
Lina
February 8, 2014 at 1:37 pm
I really need your help. Please answer! I’m running out of time and I don’t know what to do!
admin
February 8, 2014 at 6:10 pm
What specifically do you need?
Lina
February 9, 2014 at 1:52 pm
since he said that he wants us to go in this trip as friends I haven’t contact him again..But what should I do? start from the beggining again?the trip is 14 days, no time for NC rule.. I really want to be a couple with him but how will I approach him? please..I don’t want to screw things again..
Lina
February 11, 2014 at 1:57 pm
so what should I do..?
meliss
February 6, 2014 at 6:12 am
hi my name is melissa 21 years old my bf and i have been dating for 13 months. he has bipolar for 5 years now . we went on holiday together on 21st of december too durban when we got there he was acting all diff . he was irritable, depressed and got mad at me for every little thing . we recently had a fight on our anniversary 27th of jan . He was suppose too see me in the morning but hes dad gave him chores to do .so he said that he will come before 12 when it got too 12 i started worry where he is and stuff. so i made up lie and said we have to get your slideshow done for party it takes a whole day to do. he said he will be there soon all of sudden he sends me msg i must leave everything everything messed up hes not coming to see me, so i got worried and went to hes house . which i shouldnt have done . we got in big fight he said he doesnt love me and he wants all hes jackets back and he doesnt want me to be in the slide show he will do it in himself and he doesnt want my family and i . part of hes 21st birthday party. please help me i really love him and miss him ,i have made mistakes in our relationship but i want to make it right . i havent seen him for 10 days =(
admin
February 6, 2014 at 6:08 pm
Have you done NC for 10 days then?
Hannah
February 6, 2014 at 3:12 am
Just need a little advice..
my ex and I havent talked in a while, not as long as the NC period, butI finally send the first contact text out and received a great response. I cut it short and ended the conversation, he was texting me like crazy the following night and told me he’d like to replay a night. As I hear more from him, turns out he is suggesting a bed buddy, because he only wants sex right now, all physical and nothing more. What do I do?
admin
February 6, 2014 at 5:55 pm
Well, don’t sleep with him until he commits.
Mary
February 5, 2014 at 7:41 pm
This did NOT work for me at all. He broke up with me because “he can’t focus on a relationship”, “needs space and time to find himself”, and “he is not happy with himself and need to work on improving his skills”, etc… I did everything exactly as described by the articles in this forum (yes, I read all the articles). I followed no contact religiously for 40 days (no calls, texts, Facebook, NOTHING), I tried to go out and have “fun” during no contact, focused on my career and worked out all the time, I looked my best (everyone was complimenting me), took a new hobby, kept myself busy, etc. I had friends post pictures of fun times on Facebook, got a makeover, and looked hotter and more successful than ever. He did NOT contact me or reach out to me in any way at all. I did the initial contact and after exchanging a few text (with reminders of the good times we had, etc), we ended up meeting for coffee. He was sweet, funny, and polite like his usual self. We had a good time, but at the end he made it clear that he ONLY wants us to be FRIENDS, and there isn’t a future for us as a couple. He gave me the “it’s not you, it’s me” speech all over again. He’s said that he’s in the process of moving on, and that we should take the “friendship” very slowly, and hopefully one day we’ll become good friends. I am still madly in love with him and I feel like all the effort and refraining from contacting him did nothing but push him further away (at least right after the breakup, he wasn’t sure about leaving me). I am trying to move on, but I just can’t let him go as I love him very much. What would you advice me to do now? start no contact over again? I am lost and confused and I feel as bad as the day of the breakup all over again!! 🙁
admin
February 6, 2014 at 5:37 pm
So, what would you like?
To move on or to get him back?
sara
February 7, 2014 at 2:44 am
I wouldn’t waste my time on getting him back. You need to move on and forget about him. He obviously doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you. Sorry!
Mary
February 6, 2014 at 8:29 pm
My previous comment was deleted!!! I want him back of course. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t 🙁
admin
February 7, 2014 at 6:28 pm
Ok, you want him back. The reason I asked is that you sounded a little unsure when I read things.
Mary
February 7, 2014 at 7:07 pm
Yes. I want him back, but I’m not sure what to do since I did everything as outlined here, and it didn’t work to get him interested again. What should I do now in your opinion? Please advice.
Mary
February 6, 2014 at 5:55 pm
Get him back of course!
Mary
February 5, 2014 at 7:58 pm
Also, he mentioned he did not want to reach out to me to give both of us enough space to move on. He said that he does not want to disturb the flow of my life, but hopes that in the future we can be friends when we both healed and completely moved on!! It looks like a very desperate situation to me 🙁
Nathaly
February 5, 2014 at 7:37 pm
I NEED HELP! PLEASE!
Back in 2011 I got into a lot of trouble with friends… I was grounded for my whole senior year and was not allowed to do anything all my friends stopped talking to me and I really only spoke with Matthew Huddleston. He became like my best friend…. We stopped talking around November of 2011 and then he texted me for my birthday December 5, 2011 and we started talking again…
I ended up moving out of my house and to my aunt’s and Matt just wanted to see me… I kept blowing him off… I wasn’t sure if I like him or if like I felt attracted to him or anything…. I finally decided to see him again after 3 months of just talking and not seeing each other… and it was so cute and amazing… after that we started talking more and more and we weren’t dating but he would come over we would hang out… and kiss… and then for February 2012 he made me a cake saying will you be mine…. It was the most wonderful thing ever… I was so happy….
WE then started dating in April and broke up after like a month because my cousin’s boyfriend had this cousin and I decided to start talking to him… and nothing was happening but I was flirting with him… and so I broke up with Matt and told him I wanted to stay friends…. I was so dumb
This guy ended up being a jerk and then I left to Brazil… at my trip… I just thought about Matt like he was there for me he was so genuine
all the time and he was on my mind the whole month… I prayed… I wrote notes to myself saying that I would try to get him back… I just couldn’t stop thinking about him… I left all my mistakes in brazil.. all the guys I had slept with… everything… and decided to give myself another chance…
When I got off the plane I literally just wanted to talk to Matt, as I turned my phone on (and it gives me chills just thinking about this because it just told me our love was real) unfortunately he was calling me with sad news about one of his friends… but I wanted to be there for him… I didn’t sleep for like 24 hours… as I was getting things ready at my new apartment 1 hour away from him…. Two days after I arrived I woke up at 7 am I remember… and I ran some errands and then I was a at a target bathroom straigtening my hair and getting ready to go see him….
I got to his apartment.. and he was in the shower and he walked out without a shirt on went to get one on and I just hugged him… then we laid in his bed and talked about his friend who was so amazing… I didn’t meet him but I know he was amazing and such a good person, I know his brother and he’s quite a wonderful person too…
So we laid there and talked… and I mean we didn’t talk about getting back together… because he wasn’t sure… so we just started hanging out again… he would come to my apartment while he was working he would surprise me he would text me and call me and then I started going to see him too and staying at his apartment…. I remember one day I had been asking him to meet his parents and his dad came over!! I was in a towel!!! Lol he didn’t see me but then fortunately I met his parents that night! It was wonderful…. They’re all such good people so patient and its so inspring because I want to be a patient person I really do….
I met his sister too she’s just like him! We have had our bad moments recently but I know she is a good person with a great heart just like Matt and his parents… and he met my family… they LOVED HIM… like loved him… probably more than they love me lol…and I loved it because I know my family has a good judge of character and they could just see how amazing and ambitious he is…
Eventually we moved in together…. After a wonderful summer of hanging out and loving each other and being happy….
So this is where my problems started… I guess while we were broken up he was with girls and did some stuff and I hated it!! But I felt so stupid after I would fight about it… because he was just trying to live his life I had chosen to not be part of it… so that was the consequence…
We were working together at this mailing factory… it was the worse… the worse…. But we did it together and we have come such a logn way from then… we gained weight… btu we ARE WORKING ON IT!!!
SO I ALWAYS KEPT BRINING UP THE PAST… I kept beig nosey and checking his phone and always asking him who he’s talking to… I even annoyed myself and then thought how crazy I sounded… and I didn’t stop I coudlnt stop thinking that he might be talking to someone else…
Girls texted him and would talk to him while we were dating but he never flirted he never cheated NOTHING!!! But no… I kept going….
He started working at UGIES (UGI Energy Services) there was this girl he worked with like 30 something… I saw in his messages that he was messaging her and talking about me and about us…. And he was comforting her with her marital problems….. I just couldn’t take it… and he said he was sorry… he didn’t flirt or cheat or anything… but I just felt like a dumba$$ because he wasn’t talking to me about it… anyways again I WAS WRONG!!!
And I couldn’t let that go!! At all!! I even asked him not to talk to her!! That’s so selfish!!! And my arguing well it just got worse… I have such a bad temper and I am so rude its ridiculous… I really want to be better… I’m actually going to start going to therapy so I can be more calm and patient…. Because I want that for my well being…
Well the arguing continued and it ketpt getting worse… but I was still loving him! I still love him!! I know that I can tell him anything and that I can always count on him and that he know that I am here for him… I really in my heart feel he is the love of my life… it’s such an immense feeling that I can’t even explain thoroughly…
Well last Friday, he broke up with me. I saw on his messages that a girl messaged him and I wnet to click on it and it disappeared so I texted him saying do you know who she is and don’t lie… OOH MY GOD!! SO DUMB!! Like this was the tipping point for him he wnet off and broke up with me…. I couldn’t accept it because we had always gotten through everything I couldn’t believe he had broken up with me!!! Like our love is so great that I know we could get through it!!!
That night… I went crazy… I didn’t want to wake up the next day I just wanted to sleep forever and just try to talk to him the next day.. but no impulsive me talked and cried and yelled and disrespected him!!! I am so ashamed of it I am so embarrassed… that’s not who I am… I don’t want to be that person ever again… I was just so heart broken….. he yelled at me… because he was scared… I was so scary… I just want to cry thinking of that because I shouldn’t have let myself get that far… I apolgozied to him for it.. because he just doesn’t deserve that… he really doesn’t…
Saturday, Sunday, Monday, again I asked him to take me back… he said he isn’t going to change his mind and he wants to be alone… well we are still living together… we both don’t really have anywhere comfortable to go or anything… so I moved into the spare bedroom… and we are being friends… I mean our relationship started off of a friendship…. I can see that he’s happy being alone… and I mean I’m happy that I see him happy and I’m happy that I’m not arguing with him or being mean to him… because every time I ever did that I just wanted to punch myself because that hurt him…
MY family they all say… that I need to change and matt will see it… I am changing for me… and changing I am not changing who I am… I am just fixing my flaws… like being angry all the time or being nosey or not trusting… I don’t’ like that… and I don’t’ want that anymore… I really don’t’….
However… my heart holds hope that we will get back together… I read your article and it says that I have to think like we are never getting back together… and you know… my heart and I want to get back together… but I feel that he just doesn’t want anything with me ever again…and that hurts because I can feel that there’s still something there…. And I know he feels it too….
Oh yeah, I was also very like rude when he would want to see his friends… again because I couldn’t trust him… well I could I just didn’t because I was dumb… and even though he went to see his friends the night he broke up with me and I was heart broken I couldn’t’ stop thinking of how much I loved him… and how much I loved that I knew he was having fun with them…
It feels good that I can still see him and talk to him… perhaps not how I want it… but I am…. I just need help though… I mean I want him back but he doesn’t want me and I have to accept that I know…
But is it really that foolish of me to think that we could get back together? I know it has only been five days… but I feel good not arguing and not being nosey and checking his phone and wanting him to be happy.. like that feels good… and I know I can try harder and harder because he is worth it… but he doesn’t want that! He doesn’t even want to try anymore….
I know going to therapy will help but Im waiting for an appointment and I really need help… I went to call this doctor and the session is $200 for a phone call… I don’t have that kidn of money…
I love him so much… and today I am so much more calm than I have been the past couple of days… perhaps its becaseu I went to the gym this morning… which is another thing… we gained a lot of weight in a year and we are training right now… we were going to stop it since we broke up and I was going to move out but we decided we really want it so we are staying with the trainer…
I love that I feel calm today… but I don’t’ want to bring up to him that I want to get back together… I mean im sure anyone and everyone knows that because I mean I’m willing to give it another try… but he’s not…
And I know that we have plenty bad memories but we have good ones too… and he makes me so happy and he makes me laugh… I love it… he’s truly my best friend… and I am so in love with him…. I know I have to stop…. But I don’t want to stop loving him… I mean I’m happy being calm and like sleeping alone and praying more and more… because it makes me feel relaxed and just leave everything in god’s hands.. and I know he isn’t going to make me suffer… and right now yes it’s hard… but of course it will get better….
Please give me some advice, please… I need it… I just want to hear a complete stranger’s opinon when I put everything in a short summary ( I know this isn’t short I apologize)
admin
February 6, 2014 at 5:36 pm
Wow…
Hahahaha that was a lot to get through.
I think right now the best thing for you is to do some self improvement. Like get yourself in the right frame of mind or in the right physical state.
Nathaly
February 7, 2014 at 4:33 pm
Do you think we have a chance at getting back together?
Nathaly
February 7, 2014 at 1:27 pm
Do you think in time we would have a chance again?
Amy louise
February 5, 2014 at 12:50 pm
Hi chris,i really need some advice!
Me and my boyfriend was together for a year and we was honestly in love as daft as it sounds..but we split at christmas and did the biggest mistake ever,begged! Cried! I then went into nc, i am now at the end of nc today but lastnight he got into a relationship. Through out nc he hasnt texted me or anything he had been in a relationship 3 times now since we split! I honestly think this is the end for us.. Could you please explain why you think he is doing this and if they is anyway i could make him realise. Is this the end and should i text him now or not? Thankyou please reply!
admin
February 5, 2014 at 7:01 pm
Are you going to try NC>
Amy louise
February 5, 2014 at 7:33 pm
After my first text? I just replied with ‘im just about to go out,bye:)’ and got back a simple ‘bye’ how long should i leave it now to text him again? Keeping in mind he has a girlfriend
Amy louise
February 5, 2014 at 6:43 pm
Oh my god chris advice quickly please! I text him first text he repiled within minutes with a positive response paragragh on how he misses them times and will never forget them and stuff so i left the text for a few minutes then he text me again saying all the memories are cominng back what should i do now please?feeling happy but dont want to get my hopes up:))