The Definitive Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

8,583 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

sandra

January 31, 2014 at 5:34 pm

okay here’s the thing , i broke up with my ex on bad terms , really bad ones . there were a lot of fights at the end ,we are both overly jealous . the thing is that i felt really guilty because i know he did his best to make it work.. he even ended up saying in the end that he regrets the moment he loved me , that i lost his trust and that he doesn’t want me in his life so i accepted it and stopped talking . we see each other every day at school , it was strange since we have a lot of mutual friends , i even was obliged to talk to him sometimes then we decided to make peace . he said he was going to start from the begining with me and we talk sometimes , but i don’t really know how to get that close to him again . sometimes he does strange things . there was this time when i wasn’t looking his way and he started screaming hello :p i don’t really know if we have a chance together after all what happened , he is not the kind of person who would get attached . also i don’t know if he finds me attractive . i went on a diet and have a nice body ( i always had a nice body ) but he said i got too thin . he is the kind of boy who loves curves and doesn’t really love skinny girls , then he asked how many days i didn’t eat and i told him i was actually eating more than usual but in vain and we started laughing about it .. now i don’t think i still attract him that’s the problem .. he used to say i’m the sexiest girl he ever met but now it’s no longer the case so what can i do to attract him again ?
Heba

January 31, 2014 at 9:01 am

Me and my ex were together for 1year we had alot of breakups during this year and it was from my side. Buh he use to always come back to me. this time was different we had a fight and i sent him a message which i regregt and after that he told me that we can’t be together anymoret this was the first time he breakup with me i tried to get him back but it didn’t work and after 3months later i found out he got married. I really love him i know it’s my fault because my actions push him away. Now i want to get him back buh i don’t know how . Sometimes i tell myself he didn’t love me because if he did he won’t hve get married that soon then i remember how i use to breakup with him and he use to come back to me and tell me he loves me even the day he breakup with me he told me that the love and the care he hve for me will always remain. I’m really confuse i want to move on Buh i can’t i really need your help…

admin

January 31, 2014 at 6:49 pm

Are you going to do NC?
heba

February 3, 2014 at 4:17 pm

Yes i’m going to do NC, not because i want it buh he got marreid an i don’t know if itz good idea to contact him now.
Krissy

March 10, 2014 at 6:51 am

Clue #1 he’s not into you- he’s now MARRIED! Jesus what is wrong with you women?! Have some dignity and self respect for gods sake!
So NO, you SHOULD NOT contact him. EVER. that ship has sailed.
Spend more time working on forming an intelligent and coherent though. And your spelling, grammar and punctuation. Better yourself.

kate

January 30, 2014 at 8:27 pm

Hello..Ive been dating my bf since 1 yr bt he’s been abroad since 5 months.the prob is he doesn’t like to keep in touch everyday and I’m always the one who starts the conversation on Skype first. He doesn’t video call me at all.this makes me insecure and angry. We always fight. The last Time we fought was 12 days ago and I didn’t contact him at all. He wrote me twice bt didn’t reply. I want to stick to nc. Will nc work in my case though we didn’t break up? I just want to improve my relationship.
Amy

January 30, 2014 at 7:48 pm

Hi chris,i really need some advice i have read your pages but i dont know if it would work with me,i am still in nc it has been a few weeks now and he still hasnt been in contact when we first broke up he got with someone else but while the was with her he was speaking to someone else on a dating website and is now with this girl. I was with him for a year i feel like ive lost him for good and hes moved on what should i do?please tell me thanks.
Samira

January 30, 2014 at 7:23 pm

Love the articles!

I have been in mostly NC with an ex for about 3 weeks and he poked me last Friday. I let it sit for a few hours but gave in and poked him back. A friend of mine is saying that he’s testing the waters to see if I’ll still respond to him, and shouldn’t have done anything. So I guess I messed up. There has been no further contact, but I did notice he liked a few pics of mine as well as my responses on our mutual friends posts. He also has a girl he’s been dating for…29 days, lol. I am still continuing NC as well as working on my own grind. Do you think he was being friendly or was actually missing our interactions?
Sarah

January 30, 2014 at 4:17 pm

Hi Chris!
Nede your opinion 🙂
Me and my ex broke up 2 months ago,
I initiated the break up and he said that he didn’t feel the same anymore he either. After some days i realised that i wanted to be with him and give it one last chance and i told him that i thought that it was to bad to let it go since thing was ok we just lost the passion/spark but we both said we still love each other. I said we needed a break right now but i would like to meet him again after some weeks and try to find the spark again. He agreed and said he wanted that to and then we didn’t talk or see each other for 3 weeks. We starter to go for coffee and one time to the movie and thing has been good since then every time we have gotten together.
In this time i have meet a new guy that wants to date me and i have been putting him off because of my ex since i still want him back. This sunday when we was together i said it was Nice to hang out with him (appox. 1 each week) and he said he likes it to very much and i said i would like to maybe see him a bit more often, but he said he didn’t know if he was ready for that and i said i didn’t want to pressuring him in any way and left it at that. Yesterday i told him that i had meet somebody else that i think is fasinating and that i want to find out more around that and that i coulden’t see hun anymore. He said he understand that, but that he still want to see me even though, but i said that i don’t want to do that since i don’t feel that is right and then we said goodbye and he said “maybe our roads will meet again in the future” I have two questions i hope you can clear up for me:
– What do it mean when he said he still wanted to see me?
– Do you think i still have a chance to get him back?

I want my ex back more then anything, but i’m not going to sit around and wait for him and that is way i have decided to accept to date this other guy and in some way move on even when i’m not, or not emotinally at least. I hope this will make him face the world without me and make him see what he had. At the same time i told him about this other guy he also told me that there are no new girl what so ever in his life. I don’t know way he said that?

Hope you can answer me and tell me if i have done the right thing or messed up my chance to ever getting him back
PS! I have not and are not going to make contact with him until at least 3-4 weeks. If we wants to talk to me or see me he have to make the contact. I didn’t say i didn’t want to see him or hear from him and he knows that.

Thanks in advance 🙂

admin

January 30, 2014 at 6:25 pm

Right now I think you are on the right track with the not contacting him for 3-4 weeks.
Sarah

January 30, 2014 at 9:45 pm

Thank you 🙂
But what do you think he mean when he said he still wanted to see me even though i was going to see this other guy? Why would he want that? And what about the last comment “maybe our roads meet again in the future”??
He has also called and sent me text asking if i want to meet him this two last months not just me

What do you think this or he means?

MJ

January 29, 2014 at 7:34 pm

I followed your advice, which ROCKS btw, I survived the 30 days w NC. Yesterday, I sent him the first text. A little something about an inside joke we shared. He hasn’t texted me back. What do I do?

admin

January 30, 2014 at 5:47 pm

Hmm… be patient, if he doesn’t contact you back you may have to try something a little later.

Megan

January 29, 2014 at 4:20 am

Hi!
Thanks for your website! It’s so insightful!
I was dating a guy for 6 months and it was really great. I know that we were both in love. The reasons we broke up were somewhat unclear but our issues were that he works and lives 2.5 hours away 5-6 days out of the week and he was a bit insecure about me. We have a 20 yr age difference and he says he thought I would find someone younger and more available. I never gave him any reason to doubt my commitment to him and us but this is what he said. He told me he had never in his life had a relationship with a women that was truly his friend and that I was the only person he had EVER opened up to about very personal things. He was very romantic and caring and attentive and after 5 months he began ignoring me, barely contacting me at all and eventually nothing. I gave him his space but eventually told him this wasn’t fair and ended it. Barely any contact for 3 months except for occasional random texts he sent saying he missed me, holding me, etc. then I found out on Facebook that he was back with his ex only a month after be broke up, all the while texting me! I confronted him in a text and he apologized but then he started drunk-dialing me and professing his love for me, how amazing I am, he made a mistake, and she doesn’t know him like I do. I listened and was sympathetic but questioned why if she wasn’t what he wants and I am then why aren’t we together. He just kept saying he made a mistake. He only texts or calls me when he’s not with her BTW. I made the mistake of meeting up with him and he poured out his feelings in general, not about me except that he needs me to be his friend forever. We spent the night cuddling only and then he went out of town to be with his son and the next day with her and then nothing from him for 4 days and then a text saying he misses his friend. I didn’t respond til the next day with something about remember when we had this funny experience. Anyway, I know he’s not a bad person but his behavior hasn’t been great. I love him and want him back. Please tell me what you think and if there’s any chance for us if I start the no communication thing now and carefully follow with your truly brilliant advice! Please help! Oh and by the way, I have started working out 🙂

admin

January 29, 2014 at 6:59 pm

I think there is a chance but obviously it isn’t set in stone. So, don’t expect it to work 100% of the time but I do think your situation can be improved with what I talk about here.
Megan

January 29, 2014 at 7:15 pm

Thank you for responding! One thing I was unclear about the NC is if he calls and texts me and I don’t respond for a month, which I feel I need, he’s going to start asking me if I’m mad at him, blowing him off, etc. Also, it’s my BDay in a week and I know he’ll call. Do I ignore him still? It’s only been 2 days of NC. if I finally respond to him in a month, he’s going to ask me why I’ve been blowing him off. What do I say then?
admin

January 30, 2014 at 5:45 pm

That you just needed time for you.
Krissy

March 10, 2014 at 8:30 am

“Truly brilliant advice”?! You’re joking right? I suppose someone yelling you to change you appearance and personality to accommodate a cheating man, who will obviously NEVER be faithful to you, is considered “brilliant advice” for a bunch of nitwits who chose to ignore the blatantly obvious truth and continue to make excuses for a person that clearly is a piece of garbage.

Lea

January 29, 2014 at 1:20 am

I need a really good advice!
I was with this guy for 5 months, we started out while I was ending my long relationship, didn’t had any interest about him, but ended really in love for the first time. Everybody knew that we were together, but we never labeled it, and it was the best relationship ever! after less than a month he invited me and my friend to come to the seaside with him and his sister. That was the best summer vacation, and the balance between us was perfect. He already told me some planes for the next summer. He understood me, my needs for some alone time, when i need attention, when i’m bord etc. The best part is that we have very similar thinking and attitude. The problem started when i didn’t wanted to express feelings in public, objectively i look a lot better that him people comment that and he sees it. When we came back after a month spent at the seaside, things didn’t change drastically, maybe the only problem is that where i was, there was my girl friend with me. He started calling less than usual, and then i started to notice one of his friends, who is 100 percent my time, and we kissed. when that happened he tried being better to me, but i didn’t see it. We kinda moved apart from each other step by step, but halfway i realised that i want only him. he started kissing in front of me with others, i forgived. after some time, i started texting and calling but not too pushy. Here is the tricky part: one time he is happy and in the mood like me, we plan to meet up and few days later, he is cold. This lasted on and on until he blew me of in front of his friends. i tried the nc rule but i ran into him 20days ago. Please tell me from male perspective what’s the problem and how can i fix it?
Leigh

January 28, 2014 at 10:16 pm

Chris, my ex took FIVE days to respond to my first text after NC…is it worth even trying again?? His reply was neutral and only 3 words.

admin

January 29, 2014 at 6:48 pm

FIVE days? Are you serious…

Well, I would say that it is worth trying. However, don’t be afraid to walk away if things don’t go your way.
Leigh

January 30, 2014 at 1:32 am

Yup. So, in all honesty, my initial text wasn’t the greatest…it in fact didn’t really REQUIRE a response (I wished him well and said I regretted some things I did), there was no question. Does that make ANY difference? Or is it just plain bad anyway?
admin

January 30, 2014 at 6:04 pm

Remember, you need to make a text so good that he has no choice but to respond to it.
anon

February 5, 2014 at 10:04 pm

I sent my ex positive text on Monday after 3 weeks of NC reminding him of good experience we once shared. He did respond tho it was v negative being “what aspect of leave me alone is alien concept to you? Now leave me alone”.. Where do I go from here?
Leigh

January 31, 2014 at 3:13 am

In your opinion, since I initially didn’t send a great text, does that make it even a little less bad that he waited 5 days? Or is it bad anyway? Sorry to ask, but I just dont want to text again if it is just another chance for him to ignore. But, if you think it’s worth it, I will send a good one.

Victoria

January 27, 2014 at 4:41 am

My boyfriend broke up with me about a two weeks ago. It was a year that we’ve been going out. But, he ended it. There was a lot of issues that we’ve dealt with. But, once we broke up I feel like I screwed up my chances to gettin him back, I begged and told him I’d fix everything. Now I feel like I just won’t get him back at all. I’m afraid…I love him a lot, and I don’t seem to like anyone else at all. But, he told me he still cares about me, and he still would like to be friends with me, but it’s been really hard for me to just talk to him…that’s why I’ve just been ignoring him. He got tired of me begging, so he blocked all communication with me, which I’m really glad he did. I’ve been doing great on not talking to him, but I still feel that I messed up my chances already. Can I still get him back? Email me.

courtney

January 28, 2014 at 3:15 am

that is almost what happened to me! i would love to know how it has worked out for you? fingers crossed they both understood it was an emotional time for us and we haven’t damaged the chances just yet

N

January 27, 2014 at 12:07 am

Hi
First of all thanks for this website, its very informative and has given me hope that I can get him back

Me and my boyfriend were together for almost a year and a half and then completely out of the blue two weeks ago he ends the relationship saying that I’m not his ‘forever’ girl but really wishes I was. He claimed that he had been having a few doubts for 2 weeks before deciding to end it. We had been really happy up until this point and we had both commented in the past of how easy our relationship was. Even a few days beforehand was telling me he loved me and was acting completely normal, even talking about holidays this year, possibility of buying a house together in a few years, along with inviting my friends to his birthday party. Needless to say I was in complete shock, we have a very close mutual friendship group to which they were all stunned also.

At the time of the breakup he offered an explanation of that we don’t have enough common interests which is simply not true as we have a healthy balance of shared and separate interests. Obviously I haven’t reacted well to the breakup, we have since spoken (over email as he wouldn’t see me face to face) to which he has said that he just doesn’t think I’m the girl he wants to settle down with and he doesn’t know why it’s just a feeling. He has also been very stubborn and selfish and has not offered any words of comfort or compassion to me which is out of character.

I don’t seem to be getting a clear explanation and I feel like his decision was made so quickly that he doesn’t know why either. I am lost as to how this happened, esp as his behaviour did not change and why he led me on believing that we were both happy and that we had a future. I’ve not just lost my boyfriend but one of my best friends also, it’s the agony of the day to day things I miss the most.

Do you have any advice with regard to:
1. We have a very close mutual friend group which I already feel is disrupted by the break up and I don’t want to make it worse by being upset in social situations (also with the non contact phase)
2. We rock climb at the same centre, what if I accidently bump into him – I don’t want to give up my hobby because of him
3. It’s his birthday in 2 weeks, do I say happy birthday even in the non contact phase? His birthday party, he has said I can come to. I’m obv not going but all of our friends will be there which makes it hard to keep distracted that night
4. We still have things at each other’s houses. Do I wait until the no contact phase is over it just get it out of the way asap? He wouldn’t accept my set of his house keys back at the time of the breakup, which I find odd.

N

January 30, 2014 at 9:28 am

I’m 7 days into NC and I’m started to crumble. It’s our mutual friend’s bday on Saturday and I’ve had to say no to going out, basically bcos I know he won’t and I want to keep in NC but really want to see him too ahhh I’m torn! What should I do?! I also haven’t decided of what to do of what I mentioned above, any advice?!
N

January 30, 2014 at 5:15 pm

Ps I actually really want to go out for my mate’s bday, I shouldn’t have to give up what I want to do bcos of him! should I just go, turn up looking amazing and be strong?

Anna

January 26, 2014 at 8:35 pm

Hi, I need your help.

Me and my boyfriend broke up 2 weeks ago. I really want him back. We had a great relationship. Since we broke up I went through a week of asking him to come back. I was on day 4 of nc when I got a text from him saying he was going out and will probs kiss another girl. He has also deleted everything on social networks where he had said he loved me. He’s acting as if he hates me and wants nothing to do with me. He’s the one that ended the relationship so I don’t know why he wants to be so hurtful. Will I continue with the nc I honestly love him a lot
Meg

January 26, 2014 at 6:07 pm

Hey Chris,

Interesting site, I hope I can find something to help me. My boyfriend left me a week ago saying that ‘he didn’t feel the same anymore’ and absolutely no hint of unhappiness on his part either. The previous week we were in Paris and a few days after we had our anniversary. It’s been a really tough week because we recently relocated to a new city far from home. I’m trying to keep it in mind that whatever his reasons are, they must be drastic because he’s broken up with me in a foreign country, only a week after I started my job.

We have an agreement not to see each other for a month to give each other time and space. He’s moved out temporarily for 2 weeks and after that I was supposed to be away for 2 weeks on a work trip. The work trip has been pushed back a week. What should I do? Can I contact him to say he should stay away for longer? Also, whatever is going on, it’s an internal battle for him. Before reading your site I offered that he could talk to me whenever he wants (not that he will)….but if he does, should I respond? Won’t he take my silence as my anger for leaving me/revenge/abandonment?
Samantha Kay

January 26, 2014 at 9:02 am

My ex boyfriend broke it off 2 years ago due to cultural differences and his family being non accepting of it. I saw him yesterday driving with a friend and texted him but he never responded. We loved each other a lot and both have remained single since the break up. I find it difficult to speak to or see him as I get very emotional when I do, and he doesn’t like to see me cry which is partially why he refuses to meet up. I’ve matured a bit since then and may try to contact him within 2 weeks or so. Is there any chance of getting him back?
Chloe

January 26, 2014 at 7:42 am

I’m currently on a break with my boyfriend, we live together however I’m currently staying with my parents. We’ve only been on the break for about a week because he said he was unhappy, it’s not me it’s him. Should I still follow the same methods? Or is it different when you have your own home?

admin

January 27, 2014 at 7:03 pm

Yes, I would follow the same method.

Kate

January 26, 2014 at 4:09 am

My boyfriend told me that he wanted to take a break so he could sort out his mind and get everything straight. he told me that if i move on he would understand but then wasnt very clear that he would actually come back to the relationship. i’m very tempted to call him and ask is this a break up or not because i refuse to be left here waiting like a puppy dog. you’re either in a relationship or not…there is no middle ground. i’m so confused because i love him so much and we had so much fun together and we made each other extremely happy. Help!! :/
Bella

January 26, 2014 at 1:41 am

So I need your help.
Me and this guy were together for 8 months, had an amazing relationship, and everyone knew we were together, and we were only with each other but we never put label on it. For a while I was fine with that I didn’t need a label to know what we were. But then we went on a mini vacation where he called me his ex girlfriends name. He freaked out and apologized about it and I looked past it until I saw they were texting and told him how upset it made me but he kept doing it so I ended things with him. Then about a month later we got back “together” and everything was great. Then I started feeling like I wanted more. I wanted a label on what we were and he still didn’t so I ended things with him. (Now this is where it gets a little messy) his brother and I have mutual friends and his brother started hanging out with me and my friends. One night a week after me and him ended things I ended up having to bring him to his car and he laid into me telling me he had feelings for me and wanted to be with me and that his brother was such an idiot for letting me go… All this crazy stuff. And telling lies about his brother and stuff. Just a lot. He ended up kissing me and I didn’t know what to do I was so confused and shocked. I felt awful that that even had a chance to happen and felt guilty and still loved him so I told my ex what had happened. He was furious about what happened and stopped talking to his brother. Me and him remained friends for a couple weeks, actually talked about moving in together and I tried starting things up with him again where he then told me that everyte he looked at me he saw his brother. So I decided we shouldn’t move in together and we ended up having a few drunken fights and now he hates my guts. Has said he wants nothing to do with me and when he sees me it ruins his day. And he forgave his brother. But it sucks so much because we really had an amazing relationship. And now I don’t know what to do.
Such a sticky situation but please help!!

admin

January 27, 2014 at 7:02 pm

Are you currently in NC?

sarah

January 25, 2014 at 10:01 pm

hey! my boyfriend and i haven’t broken up or anything, but we’re constantly fighting (and i’m constantly feeling not good enough/ugly). when we do fight we go a while without talking until i text him and apologize, even if i don’t have anything to apologize for. i can’t remember the last time he texted or phoned me after a fight to apologize. i remember one time we fought and i broke up with him to sort of shock him and make him realize he may lose me – but he just sort of said ok and i eventually apologized and asked for him back. so we’re in a fight right now and we’re currently not talking – i know he’s probably waiting for me to text him and apologize. i dont wanna give in yet again but i also don’t want to fight with him anymore. dont know what to doooOOO
anymous

January 25, 2014 at 9:41 pm

Hello, bit of a problem. I miss thought that my ex wasnt like every normal guy. I thought he was different. So I kept calling and crying to him. At one point I yelled. We broke up a month ago but I spent that month, annyoying him by calling, thinking he just needed reason. Should I just begin no contact period right now?

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8,583 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”