The Definitive Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

8,582 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

K

May 15, 2020 at 3:51 pm

Hello, I wanted to share my story here as well. I’ll try to keep it short.
It is currently lockdown and we were sent home from college forcing us into a long distance. My boyfriend and I were fine at school and doing well, we had our ups and downs but everyone does.
Over the long distance I started to doubt our relationship and then asked for a break. We ended up just staying together. Then I came to the realization that I wanted him in my life for a long time and so I was going to be alright. In about a month he broke up with me because I began to depend on him more due to depression from unseen events (recent suicide of a friend). I was upset and said things that I wish I could take back. His mother even had to text me to tell me to leave him alone and move on (although she is known for being crazy).
I left him alone for a week, said my goodbyes, and I haven’t texted him since. (its been about a week)
I hope to get him back, as our in person relationship was better than our long distance and I will see him this fall when we return to school.
We dated nearly 6 months, how long should my period of no contact be? And do you have any tips for me?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

May 30, 2020 at 10:50 am

Hi K your no contact should be 30 days and work on your Holy Trinity. Follow the program and read as many articles as you can to understand how ex recovery works and what is going to help you reach the Ungettable mindset

Anonymous

May 14, 2020 at 1:43 pm

Me and my fiancé of 2.5 years got into a bad argument that it became a little aggressive with each other. We are both very stressed during this time going through lockdown and I feel like we took it out on each other but did not mean it. We do not live together. Out of anger I cancelled our wedding the next day because I felt very much disrespected but at the same time it was the both of us who made the mistakes. I feel like I did not think everything through and now I am stuck. We were suppose to get married and he was suppose to move here in august but he told me because of this broken engagement he changed his mind. I got upset and told him to leave me alone and blocked his number but I dont know if it’s the right thing to do. I want to make him want me again and chase after e but he knows how to ignore me and make me chase him. I also don’t want him to move on from me when he gets used to not seeing me around. Are there any tips to fix this broken engagement?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

May 20, 2020 at 4:32 pm

Hey K, so the same advice applies you need to start the program following the No Contact and then start reaching out once completed!

Jas

May 14, 2020 at 11:18 am

My bf and I broke up after 5 years, we currently live together but he is looking to move soon. The breakup was a mutual decision, but it’s been so hard! We realized we had great times in the relationship but when it was bad, it was bad. There were a lot of issues we had in our past relationships that caused turmoil in ours, for example, trust. We decided we wanted to be friends and work on our individual growth and if we decided we wanted to get back together, we have to both be in a better mind state to love again. Also, he has a lot of priorities with his family that just came so us became a back burner. My question is, we don’t have a timeframe in getting back and it all depends on our growth and how we feel and if timing is right. I don’t want to lose him and I don’t want to be just friends long term. How do I make him realize the relationship we had? I can’t lose him.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

May 20, 2020 at 1:38 pm

Hi Jas, as hurtful as this may sound. Dont have a time frame for anything youre setting yourself up to get hurt or disappointed. Things need to happen naturally and organically. this is why we try to help you with stages through the process. Working on yourself, your Holy Trinity and gaining the Ungettable girl mindset is key in our program where you create this new you who is focusing on you, your happiness and what benefits you. During your NC this gives your ex some time to miss you and start thinking positively about your relationship. Only he can do this, you can not make him do anything. What you can do is use social media to remind him why he fell for you in the start and who you are. This is how we get exes to change their perception of us over time.

lara

May 12, 2020 at 6:38 pm

Hi. My situation is a little different since I can’t quite call him my ex. We were seeing each other very briefly, saw each other only 4 times and had great sex on two of those dates. He set up a date, probably just to “hook-up” and then cancelled the very day of via text telling me that he started seeing someone else. I’m not upset as we were way too early in our relationship though I did learn very interesting things about him and was hoping to redirect the nature of our relationship into something with more substance. I replied very positively and told him to reach out if he would be interested in being friends and he replied affirmatively that he would definitely like to hang out as friends and thanked me for being understanding. I think we could have a great connection, though he doesn’t really know me too well yet. Do you think there is any chance that I could get him to want to see me again? I intend on doing NC and it has only been a few days but wonder if it would be possible considering we haven’t really been able to build much substance in our relationship yet and he just started seeing someone. Thanks!

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

May 19, 2020 at 9:25 pm

Hey Lara, if you want to try and re attract him then you need to work on becoming the Ungettable girl so that he feels he is missing out by not being with you

Patsy

May 5, 2020 at 12:17 pm

Any advice on how to handle no contact while in lockdown. We were in amicable contact immediately after I moved out but I am now doing no contact. We had a good relationship before the breakup and I believe that this has happened because he got cold feet. I’m struggling with self growth during a period of time when I cannot socialise or even find somewhere to live. Any tips on things I can do while living under these restrictions?
We also have a lot of shared matters like bills, work, cancelled wedding etc that have been left unresolved how do I approach these topics when I end no contact?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

May 5, 2020 at 10:35 pm

Hey Patsy, so you can speak to your ex in regards to shared responsibilities but you stick to business. Things to do while in lock down would be things that you can do is reading, art, work out etc. Posting positive things showing you are learning new skills and not focusing on the negatives that this experience is giving you

candice

April 26, 2020 at 12:42 pm

my boyfriend did breakup with me on april 10 this month and i begged him to come back to my life . he told me that his feelings for me is died due to my lies over small things so now he can’t be in relationship with me . we was in long distance relationship for 1 year . we met once . and shared a lots of beautiful memories.
everyone of his friends told him to get back to me but everything failed . he told me atlast that you can’t force anyone to be in relationship so please leave me i want happiness in my life . i litterally cried begged everything but he told if you love me please leave me . when we had our last call he told me that he loved me truly he want to move on from me by going on rebound relationship he mentioned that his rebound relationship is not a true he just using that relationship to move on from me he told him by himself then only he can miss me and come back to me and he told me he don’t have feelings for me but he have care for me and he promised me he will come back one day . i asked him when you will come back he told he cant give me a particular time but it may be 2 month also 6 month also 1 year also but he definetly come back . because he loved me truly . after 4 days of breakup he asked my friend that how am i and whether iam taking care of myself . now he is in rebound relationship he seems to be spending his whole time with his new gf .will he come back ? i should apply no contact rule ?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

May 2, 2020 at 2:28 pm

Hi Candice, yes you need to go into a 45 day NC where you work on yourself and then when you are done with 45 days you start following the information with the being there method

Serena

April 25, 2020 at 7:52 am

My husband of 14 years (been together 20 years) has left me for another woman, he has told me it’s over 6 times now and I have taken him back every time. The longest he was gone was 5 weeks then he came back but only for 2 weeks and left again last week. We have 2 children together. He says he still loves me and doesn’t want to lose me but doesn’t make any effort to speak to me or message me. I have tried no contact but because of the children I have to see him and that always ends in either a conversation or usually an argument. I don’t know what to do but I want my husband back. Please help!

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 25, 2020 at 11:14 am

Hi Serena, if you still want him back then I suggest that you follow all the advice on this website to the word! 45 days NC where you do not speak to him unless you share children there is no need to speak. Work on yourself also known as the Holy Trinity and make sure that you are striving to be the best version of yourself and become happy in your life with out him. Start casually dating guys – do not commit to anything serious and date multiple guys to see how different people treat you. Also this is going to help you realise that your husband is not the end all be all. He cheated and has left you multiple times so he clearly has this impression that there is better out there. So the more time you spend investing in yourself the more he is going to regret losing you. Reach out to your ex after the 45 days NC and start following the being there method, but do not take him back at the first request you need to make him work for your time and attention

Jemma

April 24, 2020 at 12:13 am

I’ve been single now for less then a week after he broke up with me, saying he doesn’t see a future when three weeks prior we were discussing moving out together in August, marriage and he was telling me he really wanted children. We are both late 20’s. After the exchange of items a few days ago, we haven’t communicated. I’ll continue it for the 30 days and hope for the best but his birthday is coming up in two weeks. I don’t want to seem unthoughful… How does NC rule work with this? I don’t plan on posting all over his wall, but I thought I could send him a small private message that just says “Happy Birthday. I hope it’s a good one.”
What’s the ideal solution here?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 25, 2020 at 11:06 am

Hi Jemma, we do not recommend that you reach out with a birthday message. Stick to NC and follow the program

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 20, 2020 at 11:03 pm

Hi Michelle, no one can force you to follow the advice given in the ex boyfriend recovery process. But NC and the lighthearted text has been proven to work time and time again. With many different situations and personality types. It takes away the emotional pressure on exes when they hear from you again. He is not going to hold it against you for not reaching out on his birthday, he is just going to wonder why you haven’t reached out to him. If he sends you money, then you may reply a simple “thank you” or along those lines, short and polite but no further conversation
Jules Antonette Alamin

April 20, 2020 at 4:42 pm

He says he don’t want to make any communication with me and wants to cut everything that I could be connected of him. I am trying to start an NC rule but what if I will have no way to contact him after the NC?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 20, 2020 at 10:33 pm

Hi Jules, giving that you work your Holy Trinity and apply the information to become Ungettable you will be able to change the way he views you and mutual friends. Keep using social media as when he gets curious about what you are up to he will check your pages

India

April 19, 2020 at 2:59 pm

Hi,
Me and my boyfriend recently broke up. I’m hoping that I’m a few weeks after your no contact stage this will be really useful!
Many thanks,
India

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 20, 2020 at 12:30 pm

Hi India, its great you can stick to NC and work on yourself in that time, keep in mind sometimes it takes more than just no contact to get an ex back. You need to read and follow the advice to being Ungettable and prepare yourself for the texting phase

Amy

April 19, 2020 at 1:04 am

So my ex and I lived together and enjoyed 2 years together. He randomly brought up that we should go on a break and then boom my life turned upside down, he’s moving to another city, I moved in with my siblings and it has been shit. He says that he doesn’t see a future with me and still labels it as a break but also wants to hold to the possibility that maybe we would be better off without each other. Is there hope? What should I do.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 25, 2020 at 9:23 am

Hi Amy, I would suggest that you stop talking to him for a little while (No Contact) for around 30 days, and stop asking him where you stand, if he wants a break give him a taste of what life would be like without you in it. I would then focus on yourself and work on your Holy Trinity as best as you can, reaching out after 30 days to text your ex with something that is going to open the window for communication, this text needs to not be emotional or bring up the past or getting back together. You just need a short conversation that Chris explains in his articles and videos.

Rosario

April 18, 2020 at 11:03 pm

Hi there. I have a question I hope you can help with. I dated a guy for about 4 months and we spent a lot of time together and had a deep connection. However, I broke up with him and I regret it very much. I reached out to him 2 months later (about 3 weeks ago) to see how he was doing in the midst of covid-19 craziness but I didn’t think he’d respond because I know I broke his heart. Well it turns out he did respond and we’ve been texting and talking on the phone the last 3 weeks. I told him that I want to get back together and he says he doesn’t know, he’s confused, he’s hurt, he doesn’t know if he loves me anymore – all which is very understandable. He says he’s not angry but he is very hurt. I just came across your website today and am wondering if I need to start NC even if I was the one who broke up with him and reached out to him? I know there’s a chance I may be pushing too hard too soon and I don’t want to push him away. I think he’s still interested but I’m sort of paralyzed not knowing what is the best next step. Any thoughts or suggestions??

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 25, 2020 at 9:28 am

Hi Rosario, no I would not go into a NC as you have made the progress to get talking to him – I would have said that asking him to get back together so quickly is the issue, so the more you get him investing in talking to you and phone calls the better chance you have of getting him back right now. Try to get some skype calls in there so he can see you looking good. Do not bring up getting back together again, just talk and be happy and positive around him

Rachel

April 10, 2020 at 1:08 am

Dear Shaunna,

Thank your for your respond. I just read a blog entry of Chris where he said: “Sure we can be friends” and then start your no contact.” So should I just tell him: “Says we can be friends” and then ignore him or how should this work? Thanks.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 11, 2020 at 10:18 pm

Hi Rachel if you have already started your NC then stick it, there is no point reaching to agree to be friends and then re start your NC

Ramona

April 10, 2020 at 12:48 am

Hi there!

I am not replying to my ex for a few days now. He is constantly texting me and calling me and asking me why I am not replying back or picking up the phone. He says: I thought we agreed to stay in each others life and be friends. What happend to that? Should I text him and tell him or not? Also should I open the chat so he can see that I am ignoring him on purpose or just not opening the chat? Thanks!

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 11, 2020 at 11:00 pm

Hi Ramona good for you being so strong! Stick to your NC as much as you can do not explain yourself to him. he wanted the break up this is what it is like without you in his life

Eve d

April 9, 2020 at 1:17 pm

Hi. My case is a bit complicated. My ex and I enjoyed a perfect 3 years together until he decided he beeded to ‘go out and experience life without a partner’.
It has been 2 years since then, I tried moving on and he has/had a girlfriend for a pretty long time, for like a year or so.
The problem is even after these two years, I still can’t get over him, he is always on my mind, not even the exes after him helped with that.

Do you think I should contact him? Is this article relevant to my case too?
Thank you

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 9, 2020 at 9:39 pm

Hi Eve in this situation I would say that you would need to do the being there method, but do not hold hope for him to walk away from someone who he has spent over a year with. Just make sure that you dont go in full throttle, you are going to have tow work your way up the value chain

Rachel

April 8, 2020 at 11:16 pm

Hey, I have a question about the no contact rule. So, my ex boyfriend broke up with me but wants to stay friend. I told him that I have to think about this and will let him know. We are still texting right now. What should I do? Should I tell him about that I don`t want to talk to him for some time or should I try to be friends and get him back like this? Thank you!

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 10, 2020 at 12:13 am

Hi Rachel, you just stop replying, do not tell him you are doing a NC as that ruins the impact of him worrying why you stopped replying to him

K

April 5, 2020 at 7:05 pm

Hey I have a complicated situation… I still live in the flat my ex and I shared together… we moved in only a month befits we split… he’s been very kind and offered to pay half the rent until the end of the contract in dec 2020… I want to do the no contact rule (but we’ve been talking since we split) but I can’t just ignore him because he’s paying the rent!! And I’m not working atm too

i said the relationship wasn’t how I wanted it and was very upset….. but didn’t expect him to say if that’s how you feel there’s no chance for us… 🙁

It hasn’t been a clean break and he’s been undecided but finally said that he feel emotionally burnt out from the relationship and also has so much other stress with work etc And doesn’t want to be in a relationship… we are talking on phone and are friends and he’s being supportive.. we still laugh, and he messages me sometimes… but I can feel his interest waning and he’s moving on with life/new job… I don’t know what to do!! When I get a job I could do no contact I think as it’s a good excuse to be girl … please can you help with some advice!! Thx

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 8, 2020 at 3:54 pm

Hi K when you are having a shared responsibility you have would ideally follow a Limited no contact where you only speak about shared bills. You need to work on your holy trinity in that time and then start talking to him again in 30 days

SLynn

April 2, 2020 at 8:14 pm

I wish your no contact rule worked for my situation, but I just think that my ex doesn’t care whether I talk to him again or not. We were together for just over 10 years and I left because he said he didn’t see a future with me and had no intentions of moving the relationship to the next level. I’ve been no contact for 2 1/2 weeks now and he has just proceeded to erase me from his accounts and life without a care. While it’s possible that he may miss our relationship, it seems as if he has just accepted that I have removed myself from his life and is moving on. I’m assuming this is not normal?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 2, 2020 at 10:27 pm

Hey there, this is totally normal! Stick with it for 30 days minimum

alee jael

February 25, 2020 at 5:49 pm

Hi. My boyfriend broke up with me ans recently ended a 3-yr relationship. He said he was no loner happy and he did not deserve all the love I have for him. He wanted me to have a serious move on. But i texted him a lot times and reminded him not to forget all what we have. And apparently, he did not bother to answer all my texts and even calls, and yesterday, I decided to give him space and follow the no contact rule. I am in pain right now, please help. I want him back.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

February 26, 2020 at 9:58 pm

Hi Alee you need to complete and follow the rules of No contact and give your ex that time, wehre you focus on yourself and getting over the break up

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8,582 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”