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8,583 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

  1. Sarah

    January 26, 2017 at 2:05 pm

    I am just wondering if this is applicable for the LDR… since we couldnt meet often and it wont be easy for me to visit him straight away

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 27, 2017 at 9:00 am

      Hi Sarah,

      check this one:
      The Complete Guide To Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back In A Long Distance Relationship

  2. Jane D

    January 26, 2017 at 10:19 am

    I don’t know if I found this page too late but I broke up with my BF 2 months ago (6 months of dating) and I was really needy and desperate and crying to get me back because I know he is the right one. I sent him many text messages and he never replied. After Christmas he told he has been so busy with two jobs. Well..that’s true. I still had sent him a text message once in a while but no reply but two weeks ago I begged to meet him me as I had something for him. We got to meet at the place where our mutual friends are working so we weren’t alone. It went well.. he hugged me when I gave one thing I had got him from my trip. A week earlier he told me still cares about me as a friend but he is so busy nowadays because I didn’t send so nice messages. We didn’t talk anything about that message when we met. It is two weeks and I didn’t hear from him even I still sent him two text messages. After that I found this page and decided to try NO CONTACT for 45 days as I was so needy after break up. I want to show him that I can “move on” without him. I have googled a lot of about NC and I can’t believe how attached to him I was. I want to try if this 45 days can change things. I don’t wanna give up yet. Now it is day 8. I am thinking that Valentine’s day will be in three weeks in a middle of NC. Does that mean that NC on Valentine’s Day either? Even no one “Happy Valentine’s Day” message?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 26, 2017 at 1:12 pm

      Hi Jane,

      yes, no valentines messsage too..

  3. Tash

    January 25, 2017 at 1:39 pm

    Hey. After 45 days what do you think I should do? How should I approach communicating with him? Do you think he really wants to let go of me

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 25, 2017 at 3:51 pm

      Hi Tash,

      think of it that he has moved on.. Initiate contact to slowly rebuild rapport.. check this:
      EBR 053: Deconstructing The Perfect First Contact Text Message

  4. Kitty

    January 24, 2017 at 11:08 pm

    I was friends with my boyfriend for a year but always really liked him. We went to the same place undergrad and went on a service trip together last spring. From the start my friends and I and everyone who knew him thought he was one of the most kind, respectful, and trustworthy guys. We started talking more this summer when I would come back to visit and things started to get serious. He officially asked me out in September and we decided to try long distance. We would see each other 1-3 times a month and communicate everyday. He was always super kind to me. He’d tell me how much he cared about me and how lucky he thought he was. He said that I was so special to him and he’d do anything for me. He’s in the navy and was supposed to move farther away for school in January. I was supposed to go to his friends wedding with him New Year’s Eve. In December he started being even more flirty, sending pictures, and making plans for the night in the hotel room NYE. After the wedding I was going to spend more time with him and go back to his family’s home. I thought we were forming an even deeper relationship. I would tell him how much I like him and he would respond saying the same thing and how happy he was he asked me out. I was going to tell him I love him NYE. A couple of days before he started acting strange. He called and said I wasn’t his priority anymore, he didn’t care about me, and he didn’t even like me when he came to my house in November. He said it was all a lie and he just liked the emotional high from making out. He said he didn’t even think it would work when he asked me out in September. Meanwhile he’d still been calling me babe and saying he couldn’t wait to see me and really liked me. I’m a pretty private person and I opened up and let him into my life. Now I’m the one who was left heartbroken and blindsided by the break up. How do I get him to want me back? I feel so hurt and he is acting nothing like the person I thought he was. It hurts even more knowing that he may not even miss me or the relationship if it’s true that he really hasn’t liked me for over a month. I’m on day 23 of no contact and I have been doing a lot to improve myself and have been really active. I even went on a solo trip recently. I still miss him though. He used to send me a song of the week every Monday and started doing that again a week after he dumped me. He’s just sent the song title and artist and nothing else and that confuses me. He also messaged me on Snapchat saying “I saw you were typing. I read your message the other day. Did you wanna say something?” I didn’t open that for a while and was really mad because he said he was deleting Snapchat for a while since he used it against me. I opened it on vacation and started typing back but decided against it because I wanted to stick to NC. He then sent back “its cool. Enjoy your trip! It looks lovely where you are”. Which confused me even more since he hadn’t viewed my snap stories. These chats and the songs are the only things I’ve heard from him. What does it mean and what should I do? I hate the idea of not talking to him and possibly never seeing him again. I want him to regret dumping me and want me back! It just hurts because I’m still attracted to him, love him, and I hate that I may never see him again. I really do believe that deep down he is a great guy. He was always very respectful, and was very family oriented and religious. My friends and I think maybe he was just really worried about going into the navy. He texted me the day after we broke up apologizing and I accidentally said that I could tell he really doesn’t care about me because he didn’t even say he wanted to be friends. And he said he does it’ll just take time if not forever for me to trust him again. I don’t know if that’s why he’s still sending the songs. I think I said that though because I’m really just afraid of losing him. What should I do? Also I wrote a letter to him, do you think it’s ok to send at the end of 30 days NC?
    Thanks!

    1. Kitty

      January 27, 2017 at 2:20 pm

      Ok thanks! I haven’t been responding because I’m still in NC. I meant should say something when NC is done?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 28, 2017 at 5:31 am

      oh that’s good..after nc, you can initiate contact..you dont have to mention anything about song.. but if the goal is to take your time.
      just dont initiate until you’re ready

    3. Kitty

      January 26, 2017 at 7:43 pm

      Thanks Amor! I just finished reading that article. Even though it scares me I think at this point I am ok with losing him because even though I still love him I know I deserve someone who wants to chase after me and love me back. So do you think I should ask him to stop sending the songs and that I was interested in being in a romantic relationship with him but I don’t think I can be friends with him right now?

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 27, 2017 at 11:08 am

      you dont have to ask him to stop.. you just have to stop responding

    5. Kitty

      January 25, 2017 at 4:46 pm

      Thank you so much Amor!!! I definitely want to finish out the no contact period for my own good first. Any advice how I can fix this so I’m not friend zoned? I feel like it’s hard because I don’t want to lose my connection with him but definitely want to be more than friends.

    6. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 26, 2017 at 11:54 am

      the reality is, you have to be willing to lose him. because you will be desperate to keep him if you’re not.. Aim to be the ungettable girl:
      The Ungettable Girl

    7. Kitty

      January 25, 2017 at 2:41 pm

      No it doesn’t confess my love and feelings. I talk about the good times we had together but thank him for the experience and overall it gives the impression that I’m stronger and have moved on. I definitely have been improving a lot and taking care of myself and am now on day 24 of no contact. I was actively posting positive things and pictures on social media. I definitely still love him through and really want him to miss me. I’m just confused why he’s sent these songs and nothing else. He didn’t even ask if I still wanted to get them. I’m afraid he is trying to be friends. Is that a good idea?

    8. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 25, 2017 at 4:04 pm

      more likely yes, he’s trying to be friebds because he’s still used to talking to you.. good and bad sign
      bad because he’s trying to friendzone you, good because you can use that to your advantage..yeah you can send the letter if it’s not showing that you want him back

    9. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 25, 2017 at 2:27 pm

      Hi Kitty,

      if it’s a letter confessing your love and feelings, nope. You would want him to think you’ve moved on and not chasing him..

  5. Tash

    January 24, 2017 at 12:40 am

    Hi thank you for your response. I’m trying really hard to stay strong, what can you advice me? I’m on day 14 of nc now, how long should I do it for? And what should I do? For some reason I feel as though he will never come back to me as his already chosen his family over me.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 24, 2017 at 1:49 pm

      I think you should do at least 45 days. Improve yourself. That’s the best step you can take.

  6. KC

    January 23, 2017 at 1:35 pm

    Hi! I recently broke up with my ex 3 days ago. We had a 6 months relationship together. He broke up with me because he needs time for his self and he wants to find his self worth. Before the broke up, I already have the feeling that he wants to end the relationship with me because he’s not initiating contact anymore with me and sometimes my message was seen zoned. He said sorry all the time because he can’t continue the relationship with me. I asked him not to leave me for I believe we can overcome this challenge in our relationship however he keepson saying that he can’t continue and there is someone more deserving for my love. I did not contact him since we broke up. He messaged me on the 3rd since we broke up and keeps on saying sorry and that I can continue my life without him. He told me that I can find a better boyfriend that deserves me. Also, he told me that I shouldn’t think of him because he will be fine. I don’t know if I will answer his message.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 24, 2017 at 11:56 am

      Hi Kc,

      nope, you shouldn’t him.. Be active in yourself and be active in posting in social media too.. If he had already moved on, then if he sees you have to, he might be more open to starting over as friends, and there’s a higher chance of him regretting leaving you when he sees your improvements.

  7. Jessica

    January 23, 2017 at 11:22 am

    Me and my boyfriend of four year 8 months broke up because I made a fake I’d to check his loyality…and then he found out,since then I am doing no contact and its been 2 weeks he blocked me from everywhere and in followed me on Instagram and then he is getting closer with other girls,I saw it in pics of other mutual friends….I think he don’t care now and he didnt contact me in these 2 weeks he is looking all cool and unaffected by our breakup.Will I be able to get him back?

    1. Jessica

      February 2, 2017 at 3:45 am

      Yes I am improving myself but on day 23 of no contact he used tactics to so that he can talk to me he called on my mothers cell phone and I told him I don’t want to talk to him and I will block his no. Too and then he replied he is in boys hostel and he has 300 friends and its just one no. And then he will call my mom again and again and then she will be disturbed.So its better I should talk to him……
      I broke it then and our conversation was of around 2 hours…..
      Should I start the no contact again or just extend it for 7 10 days more?
      Our relationship was of 3 years 8 months

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 2, 2017 at 7:31 pm

      you need to restart it..

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 24, 2017 at 11:38 am

      HI Jessica,

      did you mean you broke up two weeks ago? If that’s the count of your no contact period, are you actively improving yourself?

  8. TL

    January 22, 2017 at 6:26 pm

    I dated someone for 5 months and it was great. We hit it off right away but slept together too soon before getting to know one another. We couldn’t spend alot of time together because our schedules were extremely busy. He would often cancel our plans but I was so bust with work and school, and didn’t mind. Until the last time when I was stressed out about moving away for a grad program I wasn’t even sure I would get into. He canceled a week before I had to move by sending a text saying something came up maybe next week.
    I responded by saying I would be moving and asked why he had to cancel. When he did not respond I went to his house upset saying we need to be friends and get to know each other before moving forward. I was very upset. I left and proceded to send several other texts explaining the cause of too much emotion.
    The following day I apologized for overreacting and he said ok, good luck on your new adventure. I have not heard from him since. Its been 6 months. I liked him and wanted us to be friends and keep in touch. I have texted him a few times in the last six months expressing this and got no response. I thought about emailing one last time in case he blocked me or had a change of phone number. We had a great time together and this seems like a loss for both of us. I am afraid to email him but I can not stop thinking about him.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 23, 2017 at 3:06 pm

      Hi Tl,

      what about social media?

  9. TK

    January 22, 2017 at 11:31 am

    Hi, I could use some advice.. Is there someone I could contact please? 🙂

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 23, 2017 at 12:56 pm

      Hi Tk,

      you can comment here or you can send a voice recording in the contacts section if you want

  10. Tash

    January 21, 2017 at 6:37 pm

    Basically a lot has happened. My boyfriend of 8 years broke up with me after 8 years saying that we have no future together. This was end of August. He broke up with me via text and sent me a closure message, no phone call or nothing. Although him and I are from the same culture, his parents were against me. They had never met me before however they did not want him to marry me. They want him to have an arranged marriage. Anyway as soon as he left I realised I was pregnant, I told him but he still didn’t make an effort, no care. However irrelevant people got involved, people were telling him how unwell I was and eventually in December he called me, I miscarried last month. Before that, these so called irrelevant people were trying to get me into trouble, they were feeding him lies, they wanted us to break anyway, turning us against each other. I’m not sure if they still speak to him now. After the break up, I tried to do the nc rule however I only lasted 18 days and then broke up and texted him, he never replied to me once and he ever had, he would shout at me saying never to contact him, he blocked me for a while too until December he got in touch because of the baby, he said we could stay friends so I thought ok. We went for dinner, he got so emotional, he even cracked a joke. Before my birthday he gave me a birthday present too, my bday was in December too. The card was weird, it was meant to be funny, I didn’t find it funny but rather ugly. When I miscarried, he even met up with me and we went for dinner, evweyrhing went ok. The next day I texted him saying have a great weekend and he also replied saying thanks for dinner. After that I sent him one text few days later asking if he was ok and that there was this new restaurant in London, thought I’d tell him about it. I got no reply. I’m on day 11 of no contact now. Just don’t know what to do. I thought we were ok. However sometimes he’s ok and sometimes he gives me the cold shoulder. Can you please advice me? I’m going through a lot of emotions. What should I do? Why is he being like this?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 23, 2017 at 9:02 am

      Hi Tash,

      because he may have related you to the trying times that happened.. I’m sorry you lost your baby..but maybe for him, too much has already happened between you two.. There can be a chance if both of you have already moved on and improved..

  11. faith

    January 20, 2017 at 12:31 am

    I broke up with my ex for 2 months now. We’ve been together for almost 4years. I moved in with his family for almost 6 months. He said he needed space. We were both so open in our families and we were totally happy. We actually tried breaking up before but ended up together bcos we just cant resist each other. Then recently I got preggo and miscarried. (Were not married yet) then he decided to break up with me bcos I was nagging all the time (pregnancy symptoms) then he said he wants no strings attached. Our families entered the situation trying to fix us both but he said space is what we really need. He has this officemate that seemed to be close to him though he said he has no girlfriend and just trying to enjoy his life. I have no communication with him until 1 month and a half he texted me if we can talk in person. I was hesitant to reply but just did 3 days after. He did not replied after that. Now its been 2 months and few days left i’ll be moving in another place. Is there any chance for me to get him back?

    1. faith

      January 22, 2017 at 3:30 am

      Nope. I already moved out from their place when we broke up.that was november last year.then we had no communication after that.because he left me just 4 days after I miscarried. I was in total shock then. So emotionally it was a turmoil. And emotions just calmed down by the end of december. Just this january he texted me if we can talk in person of which I dont know what for.so I replied 3 days after but he didn’t replied anymore up until today. Now it’s been 2 months since the break up and next month I’ll be moving far away from the city. Is there still a chance? We’ve been together for 4 years and we’re so open with both families.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 23, 2017 at 11:33 am

      I think moving away is what you really need.. If he ever wants you back, he has to work more to get you back.. you’ve lost more compared to him.. dont lose your self respect too.. if you really want to try, heal and improve first..

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 21, 2017 at 2:36 pm

      Hi Faith,

      I dont understand.. you didn’t talk for two month but you’re just about to move out from his place? and did you improve yourself?

  12. Dcw

    January 18, 2017 at 11:32 am

    Hi my boyfriend of one year just broke up with me. We had lived together and spent everyday together and when I wasnt with him at work he would call me and we’d talk on the phone all day…I’m very blind sided by this. We’ve been closer than ever the passed couple of months and more involved in each other’s families and friends as well. He told me he got the job he’s been wanting and when he moves it’s not realistic for us to be together and I deserve someone who can be here for me and he can’t handle another two months of attachment and memories and family dinners. He also told me it was getting really serious and I think it scared him. It’s been a week and I haven’t done the no communication well…I’ve been texting him like crazy even when he doesn’t answer and last night he told me I’ve been immature about handling everything and he doesn’t feel the need to explain things to someone whose going to act how I’ve been…do i still have a shot?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 18, 2017 at 8:35 pm

      Hi Dcw,

      I think you do… Try 30 days an nuse that to improve and heal…

  13. M

    January 16, 2017 at 1:43 pm

    Hi
    My boyfriend broke up with me about a month and a half ago. I found this site and saw the non contact rule and I want to do it. The thing is that I’m in matric and he’s in the same classes as me and he’s in my friend group…. So he’s even there break times…. I stopped sending him messages or speaking to him directly, but I can’t exactly avoid him because I see him every day. I don’t know how to apply the non contact rule

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 16, 2017 at 8:31 pm

      Hi M,

      follow the advice on this way..it’s almost the same situation..
      EBR 032: What To Do If You Work With Your Ex Boyfriend

  14. Jess

    January 15, 2017 at 12:19 am

    My boyfriend broke up with me because of small arguments we had in the relationship. We didn’t contact each other for 3 weeks then after this period we started seeing each other again and it felt like we were dating. After a really good day together which was a month and a half after we broke up, I asked what he wanted from me. He said he doesn’t know what he wanted anymore and didn’t want to keep me waiting. We spoke and decided to end everything that day as he was confused and didn’t really see anything moving forward together. He was upset and told me he still loved me and cares so much but then he still let me go. What I want to know now is if it is officially over or if I should restart the nc period and try again in a month as he is still unsure?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 15, 2017 at 5:20 pm

      Hi Jess,

      when you didn’t speak for 3 weeks, did it seem like you were moving on? I think you should try doing a 30 day nc one last time and then focus in improving yourself and date others too, after that slowly rebuild rapport

  15. bailey

    January 11, 2017 at 11:58 pm

    Hi,
    I was really good friends with my ex before we started dating. We started dating over the first semester of college and things were pretty good. The only issue lied with my depression causing me to treat him incorrectly by not showing my feelings towards him. I was neglecting his emotional needs. We broke up a little over a week ago, since he said my lacking ability to show him I cared had caused him to lose romantic feelings for me. We have had a little contact since the break up and we plan on hanging out in a week, when college starts again. I am not taking medication for depression and am working on therapy to better my mental state. Once I am back to my normal mental health state, is there a chance of ever getting back together? thank you!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 13, 2017 at 12:05 pm

      HI Bailey,

      Yeah, I think there is but that’s good that you’re putting yourself first, because that’s the right approach. Heal and improve before rebuilding rapport and attraction.

  16. Maya

    January 11, 2017 at 6:25 pm

    I did the no contact for 3 weeks, and everything was going well. I was feeling better and my ex asked my friend how I am and where I am now. He looked a little bit lost and unhappy to our friends that we have in common. Then we’ve met (without first texting, or anything) and we had a nice chat for a 2 hours, he wanted me to stay around. And then in a moment I flipped out. I totally started all the bagging and crying and that ended up bad, REALLY BAD. He said that he wants us to be just friends, because he doesn’t want to get bad again. Then I texted him that I’m sorry for what happend and that now I know that we are done. After that we’ve met a few times and had a small chat, nice, nothing unpolite. I’ve seen him once on a date with some girl after that and friend said to me that nothing happened between them. But I know that things were going well during the no contact, and then I screwed up, EVERYTHING. I started no contact again, and after 9 days he texted me, to ask something about school. I answered shortly, busy but polite, and he said thank you, I will not bother you anymore. Why he asked me when he can ask anyone else that?

    Is there any way to fix this now??
    Help! 🙂
    Thank you

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 13, 2017 at 9:43 am

      Hi Maya,

      maybe because it was easy to ask you or just to check if you will reply.. Dont stop the improvements even after this no contact period and date others too..He has to think you’re moving on

  17. Maya

    January 11, 2017 at 6:18 pm

    I did the no contact for 3 weeks, and everything was going well. I was feeling better and my ex asked my friend how I am and where I am now. He looked a little bit lost and unhappy to our friends that we have in common. Then we’ve met (without first texting, or anything) and we had a nice chat for a 2 hours, he wanted me to stay around. And then in a moment I flipped out. I totally started all the bagging and crying and that ended up bad, REALLY BAD. He said that he wants us to be just friends, because he doesn’t want to get bad again. Then I texted him that I’m sorry for what happend and that now I know that we are done. After that we’ve met a few times and had a small chat, nice, nothing unpolite. I’ve seen him once on a date with some girl after that and friend said to me that nothing happened between them. But I know that things were going well during the no contact, and then I screwed up, EVERYTHING.

    Is there any way to fix this now?? I started no contact again, and once he texted me. He asked something about school and I answered short and than he said tnx, i will not bother you anymore. Why he asked me, when he can ask anyone else?
    Please help, thank you!!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 13, 2017 at 9:33 am

      Hi Maya,

      maybe because it was easy to ask you or just to check if you will reply.. Dont stop the improvements even after this no contact period and date others too..He has to think you’re moving on

  18. FC

    January 9, 2017 at 8:54 am

    We weren’t really in a relationship. But we were dating. I used to tell him the things I don’t like about him and he would say sorry. The last time I told him what I don’t like about him I was really harsh and asked about the status of our relationship. He did not respond. Then I waited for 3 weeks and nothing. Until he contacted me and told me and I did not respond. It was not about the things I told him. He just asked if I’m mad since I was not replying. Then we didn’t talk after that. After four months I contacted him. Asked him about something. Then after that he asked me out. But he is still back in his old ways. Not being consistent. Then I would tell him that then he would change for a while (this was before). We dated for 6 months and he introduced me to his family and friends. We hold hands and are intimate. I think there was a time he wanted to ask me if I want to be his girlfriend but I ignored it since I’m not sure. I really like him. Now we are on speaking terms and I’m thinking of saying sorry for the things I told him in the past. The reason I got mad because he forgot my birthday. Please I need your help.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 9, 2017 at 6:45 pm

      Hi fc

      it’s ok to say sorry.. say it befote you regret not explaining sooner

  19. Stephanie

    January 9, 2017 at 2:37 am

    My name is Stephanie I’ve been dating this guy for almost 2 years now and I screwed up big time this past summer with cheating and drinking due to the way my friends acted. We have tried to fix our problems since then numerous times but can’t seem to figure out what will work. We’re both willing to make this work and are trying but there is a girl he’s slightly interested in which is making me even more scared I have no chance with him again even though he says he wants to try to make this work. I’m desperate for help to figure out how to get him back. He constantly says he wants to see the changes I’ve made but I don’t know how. I really need help with ideas on how to show my changes and that I want him back and if I have a decent chance with him again.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 9, 2017 at 4:48 pm

      Hi Stephanie,

      check the links below:
      The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends
      The Ungettable Girl

  20. Hope

    January 7, 2017 at 4:39 pm

    Hi.
    My boyfriend recently broke up with me. We have only been together a few months and we were really happy. When we saw each other it was good, and I thought we made each other happy. He said the reason he broke up with me is beacause he wants to work overseas in a few years, and it would be selfish of him to expect me to stay in a relationship with him. The only time we fought was when I said I need him to message me more ( I was not feeling the love). I would definitely have waited for him, but he says he won’t do that to me. He also said we could be friends. I have implemented NC, but even before that he wasn’t talking to me. I’m 20 and he is 22.
    Do you think I have a chance?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 8, 2017 at 7:39 pm

      Hi Hope,

      honestly, if he really wants to be with you, working overseas in a few years will not be an issue now. I think he’s just using that as a reason but he’s just not that into you to be in a relatioship because you said it yourself, you just had a short time and yet you’re not feeling the love.. how much did you improve during nc and how long did you do it?

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