The Definitive Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

8,583 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

Jean

August 8, 2017 at 11:05 am

Hello.

I’m a recent reader who has stumbled upon your site the very day my ex broke up with me, which was a few days ago. I was a mess and i was crying so much but when i read everything here, it gave me hope. We were together for nine months (he courted me for 4 months, and had 7 months as an official couple). We had a rocky start since my last relationship was toxic one and i had a lot of trust issues, but with his gentleness and love we overcame it. We were very happy. We even made future plans, despite my fear of commitment. We called each other “my endgame”, cause we were that serious. Everyone loved us together: my friends and some of my family (cause i’m asian and my parents are very strict so only my brother and other relatives know him) loved him, his friends and family loved me. His mom was one of the first few people that i told about the breakup. She was really saddened, and told me that she wanted me for her son. I told her that if by December (his birthday), if he still has no one, i’d like to drop by early at his place to leave a gift for him. She told me that she knows her son won’t look for someone else. It gave me hope, but i’m trying to keep it cool.

Anyway, he broke up with me because i had the worst habit of saying “let’s break up” whenever we fought. I tend to say so much stuff i don’t mean when i’m hurt and angry. At first i thought we were fine cause I’d apologize and we’d be okay. But last month, we had a huge fight and didn’t talk to each other for a few days. I went out of town with a friend to clear my head, where i called him. He was really cold. He then told me that he thinks we need to break up cause he was tired of everything and didn’t feel like himself anymore. I lost it. I cried, apologized, and begged him not to. He had a change of heart and said he can’t ever unlove me and yes, we weren’t gonna break up. The next day, we agreed on space. Just so he could get himself together, and me also. It was like doing nc. A few weeks after, i saw that he changed his twitter icon into a photo of me. My heart soared. I took it as a good sign. I still didn’t talk to him, as i waited for him to initiate first. A week after, i posted a photo myself after a workout session in gym clothes. There were a bunch of guys who hit on me after seeing it and i tweeted about it (kind of like a rant how guys you dont know hit on you and you hate it). Moments after, he changed his twitter icon to a photo of himself and tweeted something about how he’s done. I got worried and finally messaged, cause i was worried he got jealous then put off by my seemingly harmless post. I called him, and that’s when he said he really cant anymore. That he realized some things, that his feelings are not there anymore. He again wanted to break up with me. I was so confused, and asked about the whole twitter thing. He then said that he missed me, but a few days after the feelings were gone. He can’t keep going on with me. I then read to him a letter which contained all my apologies. We both cried. Again, he took it back and said that he was just angry. The next day (i’m almost done with the story, sorry if it’s so long but i wanted to give the full details so i could get the best advice concerning this situation), with me already being so happy cause i thought everything was finally going to get back together, he said that he really needed to push through with the breakup. He said he was guilt tripped the night before, and that’s what made him take back the breakup. He said he isn’t closing the door on us. He’s willing in the future if we both turn up single at the age of 30. He said that maybe it just isn’t our time. He lost himself when he was with me, and wanted to find himself again. There is no third party, he assured. He still loves me, but not in love with me. He said that even if we did get back together, he isn’t sure he could love me the same way he did back then and he knew it would make me very unhappy. Of course, this would sound so logical to anyone else but to me it didn’t. I had been on the worst emotional roller coaster and it all happened in a month. I got mad, but in the end i apologized. How could i keep being mad if he was so nice with the break up (and cause this was all my fault anyway)? I then muted him on messenger, cried like crazy, then went online to search for tips on how to get your ex boyfriend back. That’s when i found this lifesaver.

I have ofc initiated no contact starting today. I have also been working out as you said in your advice, and it’s a really good distraction. I am working on improving myself. I can’t delete our photos on social media because i don’t want to create a big fuss (his mom just liked a photo i posted of him hours before the breakup happened) and because it holds so much sentimental value. I cry at times, but i know i’m strong and that i’ll live through this. I still love him so much. What i had with him was a connection more than just the physical. I wanted him to be my end game, and this is why the breakup came as such a shock to me because i did not see it coming and it was all dumped on me in one go. Before he broke up with me, i was so ready to change my bad attitudes and be better but then this happened. Given this situation, is there any hope for us after the no contact period? I believe our relationship is worth more than this crappy breakup. I am willing to be a better, unselfish girlfriend but i also want him to want me the way he did back then. Thank you so much for existing, and i hope my questions get answered.

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 9, 2017 at 3:15 pm

HI Jean,

your chances depend on how much you improve.. and how much you can slowly rebuild rapport and attraction after nc.

Kelly

August 3, 2017 at 11:56 am

I need help on how to get my ex back

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 5, 2017 at 7:22 pm

Hi kelly,
Do you want to try the advice above?

Samantha

August 1, 2017 at 5:54 pm

I’m in love with a guy who says he loves me and has never felt this way about anyone. Although We have been seeing each other we have never really been in a committed relationship due to circumstances making this difficult (firstly it was issues in my life I needed to sort before I could commit and now I’ve sorted these he says he has issues in his life he needs to sort out). I’m prepared to wait as he did for me and because I love him. However he seems distant. It is always me that has to initiate contact and he will never make any firm plans with me. I feel like I’m putting a lot into this and getting very little back. I’m gutted because he was always so attentive and loving. He will tell me from time to time he loves me and misses me whereas he used to say this every day. There is a girl that keeps sniffing around who he did start seeing whilst I was not in a position where I could see him but despite the fact that he loves me he still insists on keeping in contact with her and has invited her to his house a couple of times saying that he won’t be told what to do. He doesn’t like it if I speak to men and will have digs about me going with other men even though I haven’t. I really want this to work. He says we can’t be official at the moment but that he genuinely believes we will be together and often says if it’s meant to be it will be. I’m not the most patient of people but I miss the closeness we had more than anything. I don’t know what to do.

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 3, 2017 at 5:25 pm

Hi Samantha,

Check this one:
Making An Ex Commit When He Doesn’t Want To

Jadyn

July 28, 2017 at 10:03 pm

Hi again. It’s been awhile. Thought I’d send a update and see where u think I should go from here. I sent the clean slate text just under 3 weeks ago and I haven’t spoken to my ex since. He has totally stopped posting about his new gf but I know he’s still with her because last weekend a mutual friend was telling me about a house warming that she is having because she bought a house. I have had so much progress in this time, looking good, feeling good, not being obsessive, I actually haven’t thought about my ex at all until today when I saw him driving around town. I miss him but not nearly as much. I’ve started talking to other guys and I can see myself moving on from my ex. Right now I could see myself with this new guy but I can also see myself with my ex. Problem with the new guy is his work is transferring him to a new town 10 hours away. I don’t like to start contact with my ex again I just don’t know where to start seeming as the last time didn’t go so well (jealous rebound gf). Any advice?

Jadyn

September 16, 2017 at 12:31 am

Ok I’m back. It’s been 45 days. I’ve actively posted, met new people, etc. He is still with his rebound. Now what?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 20, 2017 at 10:11 am

that means you have to initiate contact and slowly build rapport.. follow the advice on this one:
How To Win Back An Ex Who Is With Someone Else
Jadyn

August 14, 2017 at 4:16 pm

Hi amor. Me again.. it’s been 15 days. I’ve gone on afew dates with a really nice guy. We kissed last night and I’ve realized I’m totally not ready for a new relationship. I also noticed my ex has deleted me off snapchat in the last few days (his name turned grey). How much longer until I should try contact again? And how do I go about it this time?
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 14, 2017 at 9:25 pm

Finish the 45 days..and post on sites where posts lasts and make them public
Jadyn

July 31, 2017 at 3:32 pm

this is going to be tough. Hopefully his new gf or him realize it’s just a rebound in that time. I’m not the one to bring him or her up it’s always other people who tell me without me asking. Is 4 months a long time for a rebound to last based on your knowledge ? Seems like a very long time to me…
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 31, 2017 at 5:20 pm

Can still be a rebound but the longer the relationship goes, the less it stays in the rebound zone
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 31, 2017 at 6:03 am

take your time.. I think you should do at least 45 days.. but if he does initiate, reply.. but take it slow.. and don’t talk about his current gf.. if he doesn’t initiate during 45 days, if you still want to, you can initiate..

Chris

July 24, 2017 at 7:28 pm

I am in a pickle and don’t know how to address or handle the situation. I met a guy approx 10 months ago. We had gone on a few dates, and everything was going well. We had great conversations, dates, etc. Out of nowhere, we started to be harassed by an ex of his through social media that was obsessed with him. At the time he didn’t know who it was, and so we had exchanged a few words cause I didn’t understand why someone would do this or behave this way. I had lost trust in him cause of this individuals behaviour and the lack of answers from him. I was never rude, or disrespectful. Probably a little more understanding than I should have been. It was so bad that we had to change our phone numbers, and I had to delete my social media for an extended period of time, but before doing so, we got into a heated conversation where I called him out, and he in return blocked and deleted me. Even after us not talking for 7 plus months the harassment continued. Later to find out it was a brother and sister (long story) doing all the harassment cause they didn’t like him. I’ve wanted to reach out to him, but at the same time don’t feel that I should. He was a good guy, and the possibility of anything progressing was denied, and we stopped talking – we didn’t have a lot invested in each other (we hadn’t only been talking and hanging out for a few months). Do I email him or just let it be? If he wanted to talk, he’d contact me.

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 25, 2017 at 6:04 pm

when was the last time you talked? if it was7 months, then it now depends on how much you improved and were you active in posting in those months? And if you are going to reach out, did you mean telling him about the ex and the brother still harrassing you?

Michelle

July 20, 2017 at 4:10 pm

Hi Amor,

I am in desperate need of help. I met my (ex)boyfriend last year and we became a couple in December 2016. I’m 25, he turns 38 this year. We have had a great relationship though we went through a dramatic situation in the beginning of our relationship where I had to have an abortion, but we got through it and during this time we moved in together. He’s divorced since more than 10 years back and he’s never had a relationship since and I’m the first one he’s been with, even intimate with for a very long time. This has been confirmed from friends, family etc. He introduced me to this whole new world and treated me like a queen, even though I was the one who took care of him financially and emotionally because he lived with his parents and his kids life in a different state and no custody of them. 2 months in on the relationship he started a new job which probably made him feel important and needed and things changed, he worked 18 hours days, too tired eventually to do stuff and when we has good I was no
Longer a priority but he kept saying it will be different as soon as he starts making money and I just need to be supportive which I am because I waited home for him every night. Then in June I had to fly abroad to see my parents, and we FaceTime everyday and he says how much he loves me and misses me and can’t wait to see me and we make all of these plans together. Then I came back almost 2 weeks ago, everything was great when we saw each other, even in the morning before he left for work. In the afternoon we spoke on the phone, I asked what we’re doing for dinner and he replies “nothing”. I ask why, he says he has a lot on his mind, no money and I said when has that ever been an issue I always help you and it’s my first night back. Then he says he’s moving back to his parents house and he needs to focus on his kids and can’t be with me anymore. He hangs up. Said he would come back home that night to talk but disappeared the whole weekend (Friday – Monday) and lied about where he was and never answered me. Then last Monday he texted saying he’s gonna come to get his things. He came, said he needs 12 months to focus on his career and kids because baby mama took away permission to see them (but yesterday she gave permission back?!), and he’s not cutting me off yet I just had another abortion for him and he won’t support me through it. And further down the road we will see what happens but not until 12 months have passed and he said this is what he does when he chokes and panics. And he said “Its not like I’m giving you the keys back”, then I desperately tried to make him stay but he wouldn’t and texted and called him all week expect for 2 days but then our anniversary came and I tried to reach him. Been trying to find out about other girls but there’s nothing and everyone denies it and so does he. He lives his life on Instagram and seems happy while I’m dying, he came again 2 days ago to get the rest of his things but he still ended up leaving stuff behind and kept the keys, then we got into a huge fight because I wanted to talk about the abortion and if this is a break up or a break and he didn’t, he just tried to leave so I went after him and we caused a scene, then he just pushed the gas and left. What can I do at this point to get my man back?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 25, 2017 at 10:21 am

Hi michelle,

Honestly, it’s a very toxic relationship.. For me you shouldn’t get back to him but i know you want to. The best you can do is to start a 30 days nc and follow the advice above

Val

July 19, 2017 at 5:11 am

I think I made a mistake, I’m on the texting step and I was worried because he hasn’t text me first, so the last time we texted I tried to make a normal conversation but even having positive responses I felt he was distant, like, maybe just being kind. I asked him if he didn’t want to talk with me, and he was like “but I give you nice answers, lol”, and I even told him “well, yeah, but maybe it’s just to be kind” and he replied “if I didn’t want to talk with you I wouldn’t answer your messages”…So, I told him “fine, I believe you” and kept with the conversation…the rest of it was really normal, like, he laughed and he was nice, so many positive responses But now that I look back, I think it was not the kind of things that an ungettable girl does (?) So I’m confused about what to do, was it so bad? will he text me first? or should I keep texting first? (it was yesterday) I would love to get your help, Amor
julie

July 18, 2017 at 10:29 am

i love my ex very much. before he used to provide, buy me gifts telling me he loves me so much but it came time all this disappear. it took me a time to bear all this even when am sick he could provide i decided to leave him but for now i just fill i cant do without him i need him back. what should i do

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 18, 2017 at 9:52 pm

Hi julie,

do you want to try the advice above?

Kylie

July 17, 2017 at 5:01 am

My Bf of 2years broke up with me two weeks ago while he was on an overseas holiday. He’d only been gone three day and for those first three day were fine – I just say how much I missed him in messages. On the fourth day he said he’s wasn’t sure if the relationship was what he wanted which I didn’t take very well. We had a massive fight over this and he didn’t speak to me for three day. After that he said we would talk when he got home. I was fine with that but then on the 8th day of him being away a friend of mine sent me a link to another girls Instagram page and it was full of pics of my BF and her all loved up with the other girls comment reading like it was new relationship. I went crazy at my BF. His Facebook (although Im now blocked) is also full of these sort of posts. He says he’s in love with her and wants to relocate overseas to be wither. Do I give up?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 18, 2017 at 9:17 pm

Hi Kylie,

do you want to try the no contact rule?

ari

July 9, 2017 at 8:24 pm

what if i can never get out of the texting zone after no contact? my ex is extremely stubborn and i know he wouldnt initiate anything, let alone want to go on a date with me. but i know he still loves me and cares for me, he’s liked me for years and was the one to chase after me in the first place. i know what we have is too special to just throw away, and i feel like he is planning on coming back after he finishes college, he prioritizes school so much and as time passed i became less and less of a priority. but things can change in years and i want him back now. he used try so hard for me and now its me who tries more and i think my value to him went down… i begged and tried to save our relationship the first day after then stopped with no contact. it happened suddenly because of a fight, and before we were having fights often leading to the break up one. talking on the phone isn’t an option either because we barely did that while dating for 2 years. ive read all the guides about stubborness but can’t find any answers for my situation. i know he misses me and deep down wants me back but he is just so stubborn… we had one short conversation so far and it went pretty well. he sees and reponds to my messages within minutes, while i always kept him waiting longer for my replies. im just afraid nothing will really escalate after texting for awhile.. i dont know how to make him want to be the one to see me and initiate, and i know if i initiate anything i feel like he’d say no.

ari

August 9, 2017 at 8:03 am

i’ve been keeping busy and doing my own thing, and we havent talked for awhile again because he wont initiate contact. i feel like he expects me to reach out first since thats what ive been doing since nc ended. it just feels like hes content with not getting back together… the break up was caused by a fight but he also said other excuses after like focusing on school and work and himself (takes his future very seriously) but this was the exact same thing he said the first time we broke up before. he also said he “didnt want a relationship with anyone” and being in one stresses him out both times. but hes so stubborn this time. hes also one to think that its better for me and that im happier wihout him. hes the most stubborn person ever… but i know what we have is super special and he still loves me, we have so much history ever since middle school. i dont know what to do to really bring those feelings back. i was an ungettable girl for years until i gave him everything he wanted now he left. 🙁 is it possible to make things that way again… should i initiate contact again or wait? he seems unbothered… i dont understand how its so easy to throw away what we have especially when it was like fate for us and we always talked about the future together.
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 9, 2017 at 3:59 pm

if he’s really set on not being in a relationship, then you have to move on.
ari

August 1, 2017 at 2:39 am

so i did exactly that and pulled away for awhile, and it worked and we actually went on 2 casual dates! but im not sure if they were successful 🙁 the first time we went for dinner at one of our favorite places and also got ice cream right after. i also brought up this taco place ive been to that has been getting popular in the area, because he loves tacos and i knew he’d enjoy the place. i dont know if this was bad but i did something a little sneaky in order to get a 2nd date, i left my wallet inside his car and made it very believable that it was not intentional. he said he would drop it off another day and i went ahead and asked if he wanted to try the taco place while we’re at it because i really wanted him to try it, and he agreed. the dates were 2 days apart. however i just got home from the 2nd date and im really confused… he seems very distant :/ the 1st date was good, he paid attention to me occasionally and also said he had fun. but this time he was very distant and went on his phone a lot, and also he was a bit mean… i was the only one to initiate convos and his replies were short and kind of grumpy. i dont know if hes just in a bad mood 🙁 but he enjoyed the food very much and smiled when he said bye. i was very positive during both dates as well and made the effort to look nice for him. it hurts me to see him so distant when he used to be so into me in the beginning… is he losing feelings? i just want him to look at me the way he used to.
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 1, 2017 at 5:03 pm

Go back to your thing.. You have your own life apart from him, so refocus on that
ari

July 18, 2017 at 11:25 pm

we were talking about my cousin who was getting married, and he was actually engaging for a second and then suddenly said “nvm u hate me” and that i should just leave him alone. maybe i took too long to reply? but then after that he said he was just in a bad mood… and started talking again. hes giving such mixed signals :/ i do have to mention that hes quite immature and acts like such a baby, we’re only 19. and when we were together we texted literally all the time, everyday. i guess he expected me to be clingy and beg for him and since im not doing that hes acting this way.. should i keep talking to him? ive been initiating all the convos so far. i feel like i should pull back a little and let him initiate… if he even will 🙁 hes too stubborn
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 19, 2017 at 12:32 pm

yeah, if he’s being like that you should really stop initiating for now.. but it would be better if you actually make it like it was decision for you to pull back. Like next time that you talk again and he goes on being negative, agree and then tell him, ok you understand him and you’ll respect his wishes.
ari

July 17, 2017 at 9:44 pm

he said he just wants to be alone :/ i dont understand what he’s thinking now what should i do
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 18, 2017 at 9:32 pm

why did he say that? Did you ask him? What were you doing when he said that?
ari

July 17, 2017 at 7:36 am

i just initiated a memory convo, i reminded him of a very special place where we had one of our first dates on a hill that has a pretty view at night. to make it better i actually went there yesterday night and posted it on my snap, ive been very active in posting and he looks at everything. i asked if he remembered the place and said i went there, and view was very nice and it reminded me of him. i also told him a funny story that happened there. im confused because everytime i tell him something, the first thing he asks is who i went with. even when he knows that i made new friends at my new job. and he keeps saying “u hate me bye” in EVERY convo… it makes me so frustrated because i dont know what to do about it.
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 17, 2017 at 2:56 pm

Just dont give in to the negativity.. Every time he’s like that is a chance to prove you’re otherwise.. You’re answering it right.. You can add humor if you want to.. Like, say, I know hates means you love somebody, but dont cha worry,I only got good stuff for ya 😉
ari

July 14, 2017 at 8:08 pm

I just simply say that i don’t hate him and try to avoid it because it can lead to talking emotionally about our relationship and break up. is that the right thing to do? i try not to be negative and mention about our relationship at all.
ari

July 14, 2017 at 7:56 am

so it really feels like he wants to see me but he’s just so stubborn and won’t ask… he gives off small hints like saying that he wants to go somewhere and id really like to ask him but im scared it’s too early and he’ll say no. another thing is he keeps saying that i hate him? he’d bring it up multiple times randomly in the convo like “u hate me”. i feel like he’s trying to get me to say i love him or maybe he’s acting this way because he’s jealous of seeing me go out with others? (friends of opposite sex). also when we talk i feel like i’m the one doing all the story telling and even when i try to engage him in a topic he’d be interested in his responses are short and he doesnt really engage. but they’re not bad replies and he always responds. i dont know what to do to take this a step further?? i feel like it’s not going anywhere
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 14, 2017 at 7:01 pm

What do you say when he says he hates you?
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 12, 2017 at 8:20 pm

You have to be patient and take it slow so you can build rapport.. And you have to continue improving yourself and in postong even after nc
And dont take too long in replying to.him but always end the convo at high point

Jadyn

July 9, 2017 at 8:10 pm

Taking your advice and taking a step back. I told my ex that he needed to look into getting my name off his loan. And I haven’t messaged him since. He posted a snap story of him and his new gf at an amusement park… this was where our first date was afew years ago. I didn’t view the story but a friend told me about it. When I went to view it just afew hours after he posted it he had already deleted it. That hurt to know he was there. But then I went somewhere that reminded me of plans that we had. We were supposed to experience it together. I wanted so bad to text him how it’s going. I miss my best friend… my ex… so much. Not the idea of a boyfriend, I miss him for him, even all of the little quirks that annoyed me. And I hate myself for still wanting him back even after ripping my heart out and moving on so quickly with somebody else. I haven’t had this type of raw emotions in over a month. It came out of nowhere or perhaps it came from him choosing her and not even caring about me enough to let me see our dog anymore. He must think about me too. But maybe I ruined that with the “dog” fight. The day he told me he was seeing somebody else he told me “I don’t want you to hurt” but if feels like he is trying to make me jealous and make me hurt now. Or rather she is manipulating him to do and say the things he has lately. I want to think that he thinks about me and misses me but he’s probably too busy with her. They have dated for over 2 months. I thought if it was a rebound it would be over by now.
Camila Bonnet

July 6, 2017 at 10:09 pm

Hello , I’m sorry my English is not so good, it’s not my first language. Anyway, my boyfriend just broke up with me after 2 years of relationship, everything was great untill 6 months ago. He started changing, he broke up with me once, then we got back together, and the again, he broke up with me. Everytime he gave me different reasons, the last one was “I want you near but as a friend” and then he ask me to be apart from him for at least 6 months because, according to him, he is toxic and I’ll be better without him because he can’t provide me what I deserve (Someone who actually loves me and wants to be with me for the rest of my life) , he told me that if after that time I still want to be friends with him,I can contact him. But here is the thing, I don’t want to be just friends. I’m planning to take those 6 months for myself, but I want him back after that. Is that a good idea? Should I follow the steps? or Should I stop hoping?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 9, 2017 at 3:54 pm

HI Camila,

try it out first, if it doesn’t work, then move on.

Shiela

July 3, 2017 at 11:28 am

Hi. My boyfriend and I have been for two years in a long distance relationship. He broke up with me recently like few days ago because We have always an arguments specially him being with his friends has always been an issue to me. We came it to the point where I actually lost my trust to him and accused him of doing something that which is not his intention to do, so he called me one night and told me that we need to sort things out that we need to separate due to emotions and shocked that he can actually decide as fast as that despite all the arguments that we went through I said “okay if that’s what he think will be better for us”. The next day no contact but I felt Im okay already and I wanted to fix everything so i called him and told him about it he refused to agree on me since he told me that we’ve been hurting already each other with our words that we need to figure out everything first, while letting time tells and that he thinks that if he agree on me of getting back together it would unfair on my part because I might look desperate and needy and he doesn’t want that to happen. So we ended up like talking that night about what lead us to that situation and thanking each other with everything we have done with each other. After I told him about how much i appreciate him he told me that he almost wanted to get us back together while listening to me then we laughed and I told him ok we should not rush everything. He told me that we can still contact each other like the usual. But what makes me hurt is that he told me he will not stop me of seeing other guy vice versa. So the next day he is actively texting me and even called me at night and talked any topics that we have and laughed together at funny stories like normal(we usually do this before going to bed). But when I read online about the no contact rule the next morning he texted me and i did not responded then he called me 3times but finally answered his 3rd call but during the conversation I just let him speak and he talked about what he did the whole day like usual and his future plans. I let him rule our whole conversations I just responded to him briefly. The next day he texted on me but I did not respond. I’ve been to gym for a while and he is aware of that but yesterday I took some photos at the gym for the first time and posted it on facebook and he clicked likes, we’re still in relationship on facebook and comment me one time on video there. Today he did not text me maybe because I dont responded to him or I dont know. Do you think I should continue doing the no contact rule to him? SHould I respond or should not?I still want to fix our relationship and save. I am just confused with our situation right now and I do not know what approach should I use, please advice. Thank you

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 5, 2017 at 4:06 pm

Hi Shiela,

You need to restart the count, because nc means no initiating nor replying

Lina

July 2, 2017 at 8:50 pm

My ex bf started follow a lot of new people on instagram and his followers has also increased a lot since we broke up. I’m talking about like 1000 new people in two months. What does this mean? Does it mean that he’s living his life, meeting a lot of new people and is totally over me?

Lina

July 5, 2017 at 11:17 am

No I don’t think he would think the same, since I’ve posted a lot of new, fun things. But he blocked me after the breakup, and haven’t unblocked me yet after three months, so he will never see it.
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 5, 2017 at 6:31 pm

That means you have to make your next posts public
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 4, 2017 at 9:30 pm

Can be trying to move on.. But if he has moved on, if he saw your posts,would he think the same for you?

Jessica

July 1, 2017 at 8:20 pm

I followed ex boyfriend recovery pro word by word and got him back although my boyfriend was in relationship with another girl and now he left her for me but he still has some feelings for her and that girl is saying hate u to him and he gets sad and depressed by that,I am in a fear that I may loose him again what to do please help me please…..

Jessica

July 23, 2017 at 10:42 am

He talked with his ex on a phone call of 57min and I became angry and then he said he won’t talk to him again..what should I do?
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 25, 2017 at 5:17 pm

just avoid saying or talking to him while angry again..
Jessica

July 18, 2017 at 9:00 am

Yes they talk…..I don’t feel like my boyfriend still loves me with same intensity he doesn’t upload pics with me on social media but he used to do it when he was not with me what to do?
I want him to love me madly please help
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 18, 2017 at 7:59 pm

that means you have to avoid being the bad guy by not bad mouthing the ex.. be the understanding one.. but also don’t be weak.. Be fun when you’re with your bf but have your own life. Don’t be demanding.
Jessica

July 15, 2017 at 7:30 am

Yes they still talk what should I do?Should I tell him to stay away from her……. But I think that will push him more close to her….what should I do ??please help!!……
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 4, 2017 at 8:55 pm

Do they still talk?

Lucy

June 30, 2017 at 6:38 pm

I was a very controlling girlfriend, which I didn’t realize until after the breakup. I’ve been doing the nc for 45 days now. So, how do I regain my ex bf trust and show that I have changed? How do I let him know that I’m not controlling anymore? I’m blocked from his social media and we havo no mutual friends so I can’t use this to my advantage.

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 4, 2017 at 5:01 pm

You can still use it. You need to post in in apps where the posts are just there like Facebook or Instagram.. Because after some time he’ll get curious and if you don’t nag, he’ll see it’s because you already have your own life

Elen

June 28, 2017 at 10:12 am

I was with my guy 3yrs.. we broke up many times.the first times we were still texting from time to time and then being back together. The next time he blocked me from everywhere. I called him from another phone I had. Next time he blocked me even from that and after maybe 1.5month i called him from sb else’s phone for his bday.. he heard that i travelled and had fun and then he unblocked me and we were ok for 3months. Now he did same but when i called from uknown number he didnt pick up and then called me but didnt unblock me and for me having the plan going to his city specific day he said no need for me to contact me he is gonna do so that time approaching (which is in 10days)..
Many times before he told me we are not for each other and he cannot continue, that i am negative (bcz i tell him along with the good also the problems in my job as he does and i try to help him btw) etc but when after long time he sees me he does not leave me from his arms and tell me he missed me so much.. this last time he even told me that he had sex with other girls..thiugh i have no reason not to believe him, when i asked him when did this happen (cz we were since december till march totally apart but also he can do that anytime as far as he s not in my city) he said he doesnt know and not to question him and that he didnt go with prostitutes and he knew what to pick (cz i shouted how he did this to me risking my health).. we live in a conservative country that even when we were in same city we could not go out due to islamic laws but meet secretly at his home. Before the last breakup he was supposed to come with me in my vacation, now that i asked him he said he doesnt know ..
What can i do do get him back? Now he got this block n beg issue as a game and he is so stubborn a person that I believe if i dont contact him he wont ever do (in our 1st break up ..though i realised later that he was checking my whatsapp pictures -the only app he can see sth while having me blocked-he never moved to contact me.. when i did after 20+days he said he was thinking about me … but still never being the one doing the 1st move..)
So what do u recommend i do now?

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 30, 2017 at 10:40 am

Hi ellen,

Check this one:
You Desperately Begged For Him Back And Failed… I’m Here To Fix That

Kasey

June 23, 2017 at 1:08 pm

I love this whole idea and am taking it very seriously, all the steps. However, I have not seen or spoken to my ex since our breakup, which was FIVE years ago. Problem is, I do not know his address, phone number, or email address, only where he works, and he does not have a facebook or any social media. In this case, the outlined plan above says to start with a text message. I can’t do that. What are my options? The only choice I have is to leave a letter at his work. Advice on this please!

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 23, 2017 at 9:41 pm

how did you contact each other before?

Louise

June 22, 2017 at 9:31 pm

I’ve completed nc and me and my ex haven’t talked for like 6 weeks, I’ve worked on myself and improved myself during the nc. I was very jealous in our relationship and that’s probably why it ended. So, how can I show my ex that I’ve changed for the better? How can I let him know that my jealous behaviour I had in our past relationship is now completely gone?

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 23, 2017 at 9:26 pm

if you were active in posting in the past weeks, initiate contact. The only to show it, is to not do it anymore and to continue your activities and living your own life.

Jadyn

June 22, 2017 at 8:17 pm

Ok so I have finally decided to make first contact after 45 days no contact (other than exchanging the dog). He is still in his rebound 🙁 and My ex has gotten a new position/job so he no longer works the same schedule. Getting the dog is going to be much harder now 🙁 but he still seems like he is willing to make it work. It will also give him less time to see his rebound because they won’t be working together and their scheduled won’t match. So it’s been 45ish days, give it take (I honestly lost count). How is this for a first contact message (I’m thinking either send it through a snapchat or a text):
“Hey, I was just looking through flyers on my break and found this (I’m going to attach a photo of the item in the flyer), they actually sell them now. It reminded me of that time we rented them with our friends. So fun! “

Jadyn

July 11, 2017 at 10:56 pm

Would it be a good idea to send out a truths text then give it some more time. I was thinking something along the lines of:
Hi, I amsorry for fighting about the dog, but you have to understand that I have a connection with him and I always thought he was both of ours even though he is yours. I don’t want to fight anymore. It’s pointless and it’s not going to help anything. Always here if The dog or you need me or need to talk. I called the bank and they said you need to call and ask to have me taken off the Car loan. Let me know when you get that done because I need the credit freed up for a mortgage. I really don’t want to fight, someday maybe we can be friends like we were before all of this. I’m glad you found someone that makes you happy, I don’t want to stand in the way of that.

I’m thinking send this as a truce. Then go back to NC for 10 or so days so I can gather myself again. I hate leaving things so negative like our last contact about the dog was.
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 12, 2017 at 8:14 pm

Yup that’s ok..that’s like a clean slate text
Jadyn

July 5, 2017 at 7:53 pm

He works 6 days on and 5 days off. The 6days he’s working the dog is locked in his dog cage in the house for the entire time(usually 14 hour days) The other days he is looked after very well. I usually don’t even see my ex, I usually get the dog from his mom. And when I do see him I don’t even talk to him any more than what’s about the dog. I need my name off the car because he missed a payment and it’s going to start ruining my credit score if it hasn’t already. I’m more concerned about my dog than I am my relationship anymore. My dog is one of my escapes from everyday stress and to keep busy. I live in a small town and I don’t get to see my friends often because they farm or are mutual friends of my ex. I would love my dog full time if I could. How long do I need to step back? Obviously she’s already jealous, insecure and making decisions for him. Last time him and I exchanged the dog he was still good with me seeing the dog. I’m so angry right now I don’t care about my ex at all. I want my dog. I know I should step back and breathe but seriously. He is my dog too.
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 6, 2017 at 7:23 pm

maybe two weeks.. then during this time find a way so you can have the dog and have a calm and sincere talk with him that you would just really want the dog, nothing more, nothing less.. better if you include his current gf in the talk
Jadyn

July 5, 2017 at 3:54 am

So I guess she dug her claws in. My ex just texted me and said she doesn’t like him seeing me weekly to trade the dog off so I am no longer allowed to have my dog at all… now what do I do?
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 5, 2017 at 5:35 pm

As long as they’re taking care of the dig, you have to step back for now.. For the car, if you’re not paying anything then let it be..if there are legalities needed to be settled bring a lawyer..if not, let it go because it’s starting to look like an excuse from your side to talk to him
Jadyn

July 4, 2017 at 7:41 pm

I honestly don’t know why. I didn’t provoke anything or bring anything up. She’s quite a bit younger and I think she just wanted to start shit because she could. I think she got alittle jealous too because all of my ex’s and my shared friends came and hung out with me and not her at the party. She was being very needy and clingy from what I could see. I was never needy or clingy and never hung off of him like a fashion accessory, maybe he likes that. She also reads his texts she told me she saw the one I sent afew days ago about the memory. As for the dog and the car that I consigned My ex seemed like he was on her side when she was around But when she wasn’t around he apologized a couple times and then texted me again the next day to apologize again. He’s hard to read. He posted a gooshy post on snapchat about them being so “happy”. He could be I don’t know what to think. Thy have been together for about 2.5 months now. I feel like she’s starting to influence his decisions. DO I still follow the being there approach? Is texting still the best way of communication is she’s reading the messages?
Jadyn

July 1, 2017 at 10:10 am

Ended up at a party and my ex and her was there. She kept confronting me and causing shit. I tried to keep it cool but she kept making a scene. When she was around my ex was on her side but when it was just him and me he told me not to worry and he would talk to her about it and he knew I wasn’t causing shit. She kept threatening to keep my dog from me and a bunch more. I don’t know what to do now. They both ended up saying how the dog isint legally mine and he car j consigned for has nothing to do with me. Pleas give advice! Please
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 4, 2017 at 5:35 pm

Talking about those topics in a different way.like asking for help, sharing something about it or something that can help about it. Be genuinely interested about it. Why did they both said that? Did you bring it up? You still have a connection with the dog, so just say that calmly because that’s the truth
Jadyn

June 30, 2017 at 8:46 pm

He’ll see right through me complimenting his truck out of the blue. Or any other thing out of the blue. At least with my first conversation it seemed legit and that it would actually remind both of us of good times. I’ve read lots of articles.
Jadyn

June 30, 2017 at 8:42 pm

What sort of topic. I really don’t know what to talk about without it seeming obviously forced. He’s into his truck, dog, nice cars, atv’s, target shooting. I know he won’t reply positively with me complimenting any of those. I thought the memory text would work. We have so many good memories from Canada day weekend and the thing in the flyer didn’t work. It was a really fun day.
Jadyn

June 29, 2017 at 9:22 pm

I got a neutral response almost instantly after I sent it he said “haha oh jeez” I waited about 15 minutes and replies yup and they are on sale too, breaks over tho so gotta go. Ttyl”

I was hoping for something alittle more. Now what?
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 30, 2017 at 12:52 pm

Use a different topic in the next text
Wait 2 or 3 days
Jadyn

June 24, 2017 at 2:47 am

I haven’t sent it yet. I’m going to wait because I know he’s with “her” right now. It’s kind of funny. He never posts snapchat stories like ever. And he did today and last week while with her. He then deletes it after I see it. I’m trying not to open his story but my friends have told me it looks like he’s trying to get to me, especially because he never posts. I feel like he’s in the stage of “trying to look happy”. I also posted a very suggestive story yesterday. One with me hanging out with new friends but couldn’t tell who it was. My friends think his post was a back fire in snapchat jealousy war because of how my other photo appeared yesterday. Is this snapchat thing ok? It is kinda upsetting when I see his posts with her in them but I like having him on there so he can see that my life is moving on through my story. Should I keep him on snapchat or get rid of him? Should I keep not opening his stories or is it better for him to know I’ve seen them. We are both obviously trying to make each other jealous.
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 24, 2017 at 5:49 pm

keep him.. that’s a good post, he should be intrigued with your posts.. He should be the one more affected with your posts, not the other way around. It’s ok if you want to view his stories or not.
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 23, 2017 at 8:14 pm

It’s an ok message.. if he replies, send an ending the conversation message..

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