The Definitive Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

8,583 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

That girl

January 13, 2014 at 1:04 pm

So before finding this page I was following the nc rule…but always for few days…and the respond from my ex was a text asking if I was ok…so ill respond not right away but later the next day…and soon he would star calling or texting frequently again. …but suddenly he stops and I find out that it was because he is with someone else and for a couple of hours… and then once he is not with the other he’ll star calling and texting me again….and he shares that he had been spending time with that other person withought me asking or wanting to know…anytime he text and mentions another women i dont comment about it i ignor it….so in this case what you recomend Chris?….from my understanding this guy wants me to accept him this way but I think this is totally wrong… now we have a child together so I feel that I cant follow the NC rule for too long…I dont see him anymore is very rarely and now I dont feel the need for it…and if he ask me out I rather not…I do have feelings but at times I feel it is pointless 🙁

admin

January 13, 2014 at 6:27 pm

Ya.. you will probably have to follow the limited contact rule.

Michelle

January 12, 2014 at 10:54 pm

Hey Chris,

The reason my boyfriend and I broke up was because his dad walked out on his mom and left her with 2 little kids to take care of. What hurts the most is he wasnt really ready to tell me why but told my friend at work. He wanted to remain friends and possibly continue where we left off. I feel bad but at that time cause I didn’t know why he broke up with me I said I couldn’t be his friend. I hurt his feelings and he got angry. I know right now while he is figuring out his new life he isn’t ready to date. He and I have a really good relationship and a lot of fun when we are together. I had an idea it had something to do with his dad and the holidays cause we kind of talked about it and were going to talk some more but instead he broke up with me. My feelings are a little hurt. Before my friend told me I did let him know he should focus on his family and whatever is going on. So I kind of had an idea but didnt know the whole story. What’s hard is that I can’t be there for him the way I would like to. My friend said he is going through a lot misses me and is really depressed. But her and I talked and know right now he is f ready to be in a serious relationship with all of that going on. I was pretty bad about texting him on and off for three weeks. I miss him and want him back in my life. These pasr three weeks have been hard. I want to wait 30days before I talk to him. Especially after the way I texted him. Do you think there is a possibility that I can get him back even though he is going through so much right now?

admin

January 13, 2014 at 6:17 pm

There is always a possibility. Patience is what is required here I think.

Kelly

January 12, 2014 at 4:29 pm

Hey I went 15 days without talking to my ex boyfriend of two years but I cracked today coz Friday coming is his birthday and I am right back to where I started I miss him so much only I’m smarter now in terms of listening to your advice and not putting any emotions or asking for him back into our conversations. I moved on and I was fine it’s just now starting to talk to him again is really difficult and I miss him we were great together and shared lots of good memories. Like I said I’m not bringing emotions into the conversations and I won’t be a text gnat lol so what do you think is the best thing to do? Thanks!

Kelly

January 12, 2014 at 9:03 pm

I listened to ur advice today also and texted him “u wouldn’t believe two things that happened to me the other day” and he responded not too long after that he wanted to know wat it was and he’s curious… I won’t respond for a couple days I’m gonna see if he is just that curious and will wonder why I won’t respond.. I feel in control of the conversation and I won’t have reached this point or known what to do right now without you. Am I going good? And I know I can’t bring in emotions into our conversations right now so what advice do you have for me in getting him back?
admin

January 13, 2014 at 6:16 pm

Just don’t be afraid to keep improving yourself!

Stephanie

January 12, 2014 at 3:17 pm

EMERGENCY PLEASE HELP ME CHRIS!!!!
Hey Chris

I need your help my boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me last week I then decided to apply no contact. I was going good strong for 2 days he messaged me a ton of times on whatsapp I never replied he called I ignored until he hacked into my phone basically I needed to make contact with him cause I was not able to make contact with him.

He has alota stress in his life such as loans an debt to pay an he just lost his job recently. He says he was not happy but I know that the events leading up to this was B.S.

I have alota issues with my father not being in my life which has made me insecure an effected every part of my life. My boyfriend however is still willing to be their for me with regards to that.

My problem is I went to see my boyfriend to sort my phone out. An he found out that I’m trying to get him back thru emails which I subscribed to via your site. He called it “ulterior motives” an then realised that’s why I never answered him

I don’t know what to do now I want him back but how do I implement no contact when he knows my plan
Mary

January 11, 2014 at 9:58 am

Hi Chris! What about the situation that we live in the same building, only different apartaments? I live together with our common friends and he visits my room at least once every day, asking how am I doing, etc. Should I try to avoid contact, e. g. tell him to leave my room? NC rule sounds like pretty hard thing for me to do. 🙁 And what about the first contact? Do you still recommed texting in that case? (as we talk practically every day)
Leah

January 11, 2014 at 9:00 am

So my ex and I were friends for 10 years prior to dating because I was to afraid of loosing him as a friend if we dated and something went wrong. And it did. One day I blew up on him after I made him his favorite meal because I was going to tell him that I loved him but he messed it up by leaving to go talk to his guy friends. So when he broke up with me he said he wanted me in his life for forever since we have always been friends. I went back to college and he stayed at home doing his thing. We texted non stop for a month but it was bipolar. One day he was sting he locked me and then the next he old me to talk to other guys. I messed up by accidentally telling him about another guy I was talking to because he told me to talk to other guys to get him off my mind. He blew up on me when he found out and said that he could have any other girl but he chose to stick around and I was wrong for talking to other guys even when he told me to. So he stopped talking to me. For a month. Then I found out he had a girlfriend when he was asking me to move in with him and was still telling me he loved me. So he stopped talking to me for 3 months and it killed me. He never answered any of my texts until one day and I was shocked. I asked him why all of a sudden he decided to answer and apparently my sister told him to not talk to me again so I could get over him. We talked for a little and some of the things seemed like he missed me. And e would comment about knowing things that others didn’t because we were such good friends before we dated since I told him everything. As time went on he started giving shorter and shorter answers. I’m not sure why? The last thing I texted him was on Christmas Eve about how badly I wishes he was with me because I had to leave church that night from crying to hard because I wanted him with me and not his new girl. (We broke up in august by the way) I poured my heart into that text and I got nothing back. Wha should I do? I haven’t texted him, and I blocked his post on fb so I wouldn’t see pictures oh him and his new girl. I just want him back so badly what can I do? Wait for them to break up? Do you think he will come back to me?

mark

January 15, 2014 at 11:37 pm

Hi leah, I had a similar case wit boyfriend two months ago, I almost took my life not untill I met a friend (sonia) who contact me to one (dr baba oduwa) a spell caster. But today I am married to my ex with a pregnancy to show.you can reach dr baba oduwa via dis email (drbabaoduwa@gmail.com) your problem will be solve.

Jazz

January 11, 2014 at 5:41 am

Hi… Though i m still reading this page didnt try yet… my boy friend broke up with me because of a common friend… he says he loves her not me and he never loved me… we had a very good relationship… we hid things from that common friend… although she has a relationship with somebody else n they both love each other alot…. its a long term relationship for her…. now my boyfriend really cares fkr her… they arre best friends…. when she got to know about us she stopped talking to me and him both…. after some time he told me that he never loved me it was always her…. they are friends again but one thing for sure thry are not in a relationship…. he wont even respond to my msgs, has blocked me on watsapp n wont take my calls…. wi told him that i love him alot he said that u love everybody…. certainly would get anothr in a month or so…. but i know how much i love him n he matters to me alot…. i just want him back…. plz help me n tell me wat should i do…. it seems he hates me…

admin

January 12, 2014 at 4:46 am

Have you done NC yet?

Kenzie

January 10, 2014 at 6:27 pm

My boyfriend and I broke up a month and a half ago. We started talking again, and I asked him if we could speak on the phone, mostly for my benefit, so i could hear his voice and tone and hear if he actually wanted to talk to me, we had a really good conversation and spoke of maybe getting together soon. He texted me a few days later and invited me to go see the christmas lights in the park, and we had a really nice evening. a few texts here and there, and then no contact for a few days and then i asked if we could speak on the phone again and he called me and then i fumbled over my words the whole conversation realizing I didnt know what to talk about so after we got off the phone i texted him apologizing for being awkward and he texted back being very nice, saying i wasn’t at all and i had nothing to worry about. and then he said maybe we should go see a movie sometime.
so i think for now maybe texting is the way to go? at least till we get more comfortable and theres more to talk about?
so this past week he has a couple days off from work that we decided we will try and see the movie in one of those days, but hes been sick, and i receved some very apologetic texts from him saying that “I hope im not disappointed” and and the he really did want to go see the movie and stuff like that. I told him its ok, not your fault your sick, and then he said he has to work nights the rest of the week and then when he find out his schedule for next week he would let me know. then we has so small talk about our days. and its been a couple days since we talked, I’m trying not to come off as annoying or needy so Ive just been keeping myself busy and doing other things. we talked wednesday night, its friday today, when do you think i should text him again? or should i just wait and see if he texts me?

does it should like i should keep trying and fighting to see if this is given another chance? or no?
tracie

January 10, 2014 at 3:41 pm

Sorry posted first part by mistake. As I was saying, we had a good sex life, we laughed a lot, we had same sense of humor. I want him back. I know what I did wrong I’m not sure if he knows his faults. I also know I’ve made it hard for him to remember the good times so he sees know chance of us ever being together again. I’m now lost on what to do. Is it to far gone. Oh by the way, we were looking for wedding venues 2 weeks before the awful break up. Any advice? Thank you ahead of time

admin

January 11, 2014 at 2:10 am

Start NC is the best I have.
tracie

January 10, 2014 at 3:44 pm

Also, he is not wanting to date anyone else and is really looking rough. He has absorbed himself in video games. Sounds like he’s depressed. Why?

tracie

January 10, 2014 at 3:33 pm

Hello Chris, thank you for taking your time to create this well needed advice. My ex and I were together for 7yrs, lived together, and was engaged. Our problem was baby mama drama. We had his boys half the time, it was joint custody. She hates me for no reason than I existed. She constantly hounded the boys about me, it was awful. I’m one who usually speaks my mind, but was asked to be the better person, so I did. I never spoke bad about her to the boys. Always wore a smile at any event we all had to attend. But she had no boundaries and he put none on her. This gradually started causing my ex and I to start fighting and I became a huge nagging hitch to him. When we broke up I did everything wrong. I begged, threatened, just horrible during the first 8 months of our break up. Now I’m on 32 days of NC. I’ve pushed him so far away, I’m scared there’s no chance. He was saying he didn’t love me, or think about me anymore but yet he would also insist knowing if I was dating anyone. There were so MANY things. we connected on, sec was always good

admin

January 11, 2014 at 2:11 am

I think you can break NC and talk to him.

Karin

January 10, 2014 at 1:41 pm

Hi Chris,

Your site has been very helpful, but I needed clarification on something. Does the NC rule only work right after the break-up, or can it work later as well after you make all the mistakes a girl can make after a breakup? I was the girl that tried to get him back initially, then had a short period of NC, which I then broke and called him. After that we texted for a bit – friendly and light but I initiated all of the communication. I recently sent him an email taking responsibility for my end of the problems, telling him what I liked about us, and left it open to future reconciliation. He has not responded to the email and I have not been in touch. Is it fair to say that this as a sign, or do I still have hope? Any advise?

admin

January 11, 2014 at 1:55 am

How long after the breakup are we talking?
Karin

January 11, 2014 at 3:10 am

Break up Part 1 was October, that’s when I did the whole I miss you thing, Break up part 2 and final was in November – I initiated the break ups but he didn’t fight it, just agreed with it. After the final I did NC and he didn’t contact me either. In December I broke NC which is when the light texts started, end of December was the email.

PB

January 10, 2014 at 1:50 am

So, I’ve gotten to the point with my ex that we’re texting each other on friendly terms, I get positive/neutral responses (he has always been bad with holding a conversation over text, so I usually get what seem to be neutral but they could possibly be positive to him), we usually keep things light and playful when we see each other at school (teasing each other, messing with each other, play slapping each other, etc.), and he seems more comfortable with me. I did text him about some jokes he made that offended me and asked him not to say those jokes again, then told him if there was anything I did that bothered him he could talk to me about it (and I promptly ended the conversation a few texts later). (Was it bad to talk to him about that?)

However, now I feel like I’m stuck in a rut. I’m not sure what to do next, because I’m afraid that if I ask him to hang out with me he’ll just get uncomfortable. Also, he is still dealing with getting over the girl that rejected him (they’re still friends) and although he doesn’t hang all over her like he used to anymore, he still does things like draw shapes on her back, lean on her, go see her during lunch, etc. (I think he might be trying to figure out how he needs to act around her, since he obviously can’t be all over her anymore considering she rejected him, but I guess he still has feelings for her.) The girl shows no romantic interest in him, so he’s slowly realizing that he’s never going to be with her.

I’m afraid that I still might not be catching his attention enough, or that he thinks I’m being friendly because I’ve moved on. Actually, I really wonder if he thinks I’ve moved on because he’s heard of me talking to a guy and I invited a male friend of mine to go to salsa dancing lessons while my ex was standing nearby.

He does things like make a big deal about getting a student teacher in our history class or being able to look at the attractive guidance counselor at our school. (Is this a sign that he’s moved on?)

What should I do next to push our relationship in the romantic direction rather than the friend direction without making him uncomfortable?

admin

January 11, 2014 at 1:24 am

Well, have you kicked up the romance a bit? Like at all?
PB

January 11, 2014 at 5:14 am

I guess I haven’t–too afraid that he’d think I was being weird and making him uncomfortable. I have tried to do little things like accidentally brushing against him and giving him small compliments but that’s about it.

I think now, however, we’re at the point where I can be a little less reserved. But I just don’t how to proceed. What should I do to bring the romance in a way that won’t alarm him?

(Also, did I let myself be put into the friendzone by not pushing the romance earleir?)

Nhi Le

January 10, 2014 at 12:52 am

Hi, i just wonder how man react after he break up with you? Will he start to miss you at all?

admin

January 11, 2014 at 1:22 am

Sure, it is not out of the question.

Mary

January 9, 2014 at 7:30 pm

Hi Chris, my ex boyfriend of almost 5 years (he was 16 and I was 19) recently broke up with me saying he needs time to focus on himself and maybe I should too. I just read all your article and although I wanna try The Game Plan, I find it hard cuz I’m so tempted to text or call him. I pretty much deactivated all my social sites cuz I honestly don’t wanna know anything about anyone. Am I wrong in doing so?? Will me disappearing like that make my ex wonder about me? Will he think I don’t want anything with him anymore??

admin

January 10, 2014 at 2:22 am

Yes, you want him to wonder about you though. If you get him thinking about you that would be a good thing.

merissa

January 9, 2014 at 12:36 pm

Hi my boyfriend and me separated out he said that he couldn’t balance it out and he had to much to see in Uni.
He also mentioned that it was not me it was him and that he needed to make some changes.
He said for the time we should relax and that you never know about the future.
i sent him a text thanking him for everything and wishing him the best for his future.
He replied back saying that he will cherish the fantastic time we had together and that i can call him and text him whenever i want because he will always be there for me.

I havent replied back at all but i do want him back in my life.
I don’t know how to go about it and what should i do
Sarah

January 9, 2014 at 12:31 am

Hi Chris,

My ex broke up with me 6 weeks ago when I was home in Australia. He lives in Germany. I came back to Germany 2 weeks after the breakup and we talked in person and things got batshit crazy and ended again very terribly. The reason my ex broke up with me was Because he didn’t see a future with me and lost his feelings for me. He also says he can’t be the man in my life.

Anyways long story short I started the no contact period after returning to Germany and meeting up with him which was 3 weeks ago. To be honest he forced me to take the non contact period Becsuse he told me he doesn’t want to be friends and doesn’t want to talk to me ever again. Unfortunately 2 nights ago I had to call him to diffuse a bad situation from happening. A mutual friend who I had been talking to told him what I had told her and that he should be nicer to me and well he was getting angry and she just wanted what was best for both of us but in the end she put in the middle so I called him to tell him it’s not fair to put her in the middle and that she just wants what is best for us and I didn’t want to call him I wanted to give it more time but I didn’t want any more bad situations to happen. I also told him he was right to break up & the reason I staying in Germany at the moment isn’t because of him, that I’m not trying to get him back & I’ve accepted the breakup and want to be friends. He said he needs more space. I told him I understood that. (I do actually want him back).
Anyways, so the next day (last night) I was at the sauna at the gym and he came up the steps and I was shocked to see him there. He came over to give me a hug & went into the sauna. When he came outside I went over to him and told him I didn’t expect to see him here and thought he would be at work or with friends or something. He said it’s ok, we are bound to run into each other when we live in the same city and area. He then gave me like 5 hugs (long ones in a row)…he was warm with me but in an awkward way. Then he was like I gotta go home now. When he left I texted him saying “do u wanna grab a kebab or something to eat?” And he once again texted back saying he needs more time. We then ran into each other out the front of the gym and he pretty much pretended he didn’t see me. He was now cold towards me…

What do u think I should do? Should I start the no contact period again seeming I had to break it a week earlier? What would u suggest? I mean it’s likely we will run into each other again at some point as we live about 5 minutes walk from each other…and btw I decided to stay in Germany till March when my visa expires….so I guess I don’t have a lot of time here 🙁
Jasmine Buchanan

January 8, 2014 at 8:01 pm

This is such a great read ! I cannot believe how in depth you went ! My question is … My ex and I kind of work together. I only work on the weekends bc of my classes and clinicals. I was curious as to what your opinion would be on this type of situation? I have implemented the “no contact” rule before, but with this I am a little confused. Maybe just speaking with him when it absolutely needs to happen?Thank you so much for this great article !

admin

January 10, 2014 at 1:10 am

Good news for you is the entire site is like this guide so just devour it because a lot of the answers are there.

Jenna

January 8, 2014 at 4:34 pm

I have a unique situation. I am only 18 and just got out of a relationship with someone I was with since I was 15. He ended things because he was afraid that he and I were missing out on other experiences that we could be having if we were single. I can’t abide by the 30 day no contact rule because I see him every day at school and we have classes together. What do I do?
Leah

January 8, 2014 at 11:16 am

Hi Chris,

Currently following your advice and going to try and win back my ex. Just wondering, how long should I leave it between the initial contact phase and the next? Don’t want to overload him with texts. And subsequently how long between the phases after that? A few days? A week?

Thanks 🙂

admin

January 8, 2014 at 6:28 pm

A few days… you kind of have to go with the flow.

Sasha

January 7, 2014 at 1:41 pm

Hi Chris. You always saying “are you going to do the NC rule” or “NC is the best in this case” I don’t see the help in just answerig this to everybody?
If the brack up was done in a mature grownup way where you both agreed to go each seperate ways because this was the right thing to do at that point and then ended things friendly, how can this NC help you in any way if you after some weeks find out you want him back? He would not notice that you are in NC maybe since this is normal or if you are friends should you stop beeing friends and just ignore, how can that really help?
I do see the point if it make you more “together” and not to emotional but if that was never the case how can you say this works?
Just wondering. Reading you answers i don’t really see how the same answers to everybody (almost) can help everybody

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8,583 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”