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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
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The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
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Raniah
January 19, 2014 at 9:33 pm
well I red all your articles .. Your advices are really awesome , specially the NO CONTACT rule , I’m about to start that .. but you see , my problem is kind of diffirent .. let me tell you about it :s
so I met this boy 2 years ago , we fail inlove , and we were dating for about 1 year , we broke up for many times , but one day , when we broke up , we had a huge fight , and he said that we’re not meant to be together .. it’s okay , I moved on , but after a couple of months we got back together , but only 1 week later , the same thing happened , again .. one month ago , after 8 months of distance and not seeing each other , he wanted us to get back together , but my reply was no , cause I was already dating someone and I told that he’s no longer an important person in my life , but 1 week later , I just couldn’t take it anymore , cause I still love him back .. we talked for days , and we met and huged , and kissed … uuh :s but everytime I ask him if we still have a chance to get back together , he ignore me .. last time to ask , he said “I don’t want to date any girl , but I love you , and your more than friends” even though he wanted me to meet his parents .. we ended up as friends … do you think your tips would work for me ? 🙁
Francesca
January 18, 2014 at 9:41 pm
Hello my name is Francesca. I am 17 and my ex is 21, I need help. Me and my boyfriend of 2 years broke up three days ago we lived together for 1 year and half. We have three cats together and a dog. All of my stuff is at his house I’ve done one trip of packing and there’s still so much to do. Okay in our realationship we were great together like fairy tale watch movies and make supper together worked together drank together did everything together. But when it wasn’t going good it was horrible ! We were both stubborn and had to win no matter what. We’d say mean words to each other. Even tho neither of us meant them. And we usually apologized for what ever we did wrong later on. He payed for mostly everything unless I had a job. We lived in the country and only had one vehicle but we usually made things work so I could keep a job. Any how. We fought quite a bit. But the good times were amazing. He broke up with me and said he was sick of fighting(which I don’t blame him) and I was a bit controlling cuz my world evolved around him. I wanted to be with him 24/7 and like any guy he didn’t lol. He still wanted to see his guy friends and hav time apart. Just like a guy night every weekend. And I always understood that and tried accepting it. But I couldn’t controll my feelings and id get mad at him for leaving. He liked alcohol an drank a lot when he did drink. He did give alot up for me tho. When we first started dating he drank almost every night. Which at the time was fun to me. Until we got very serious. Then he quit drinking for a couple months and I didn’t quite show full appriecation for his dedication to us. We were both jealous people. I’d go thru his phone find stuff to get mad at and he either delete what ever made me mad. And I do the same for him. If I talked to one of my good guys friends he’d be very upset and jealous. We would talk about it in a mature manner. We would delete anything. Whether it meant deleting friends of fb and getting ride of chat sites( he had and deleted them for me ) I tried controlling him cuz I didn’t want him to loose his job wreck his truck or die or be away from me. And now I no that I couldn’t tell him what to do. He had to Learn the consequences on his own. When we broke up I did beg for him not to. And tried to persway him. But he was dead set on breaking up. When he dropped me off at my moms. We hugged and kissed and cried and said sorry an he said he would miss me and such. When I ask him to just have faith that we could be happy in our realationship. He says no it’s just not goona work I no it won’t We’ll be happy for about a week then it’ll go back to how it was before he would say. . So I’m packing all my stuff tomorrow and moving into my moms. I’m goin to try and get my own place and graduate. And keep my job. And get a truck. But I want him back. This break up May have been a good thing cuz it made me realize everything I needed to change. And I want to change for him. And he did to at one point in our realationship. I don’t no what to do. Our problem is not that we are arguing or fighting or what we are arguing about Our problem Is we don’t have the tools to fix the problems. We just hafto Learn the tools and we fix the problems. Very simple an I’m already learning the tools ! This is what we needed. The break is good only if we get back together. Because if this would have never happend I wouldn’t be tryin this hard to find answers. But I have almost every answer that we need. And I just want to show him how amazing it will be. I feel relieved knowing what I have to do to make it be what we both want. He just has to trust me. God loves us and wants there to be love in the air. And when the devil takes over it’s gone and that’s what’s happening. He has lost love and hope and it’s ok. Cuz I still love him and have hope. We j Just have to have faith. As my amazing ex boyfriend once told me. We’re meant to be. We’ve always known that. We have a special family. An that should be enough to fight for. When we broke up. I tried keeping my cool and sayin I still wanted to talk and he said yes when were both ready to. And he said we need to move on. But we want to be friends one day. Which I don’t. I want to be his gf again and this time do it right ! What do I do??
admin
January 20, 2014 at 12:43 am
Do you think the age difference of you being younger than him bothered him?
Francesca
January 18, 2014 at 9:58 pm
And I don’t no if I can wait a month to talk to him cuz his bday is on the 31st of January !! And our anniversary if we were dating is tomorrow
Francesca
January 19, 2014 at 2:33 pm
He is already talking to 2 girls that he stopped talking to for me in the realationship. It’s only been 3 days ! He gave them his numbers. Help me!
Francesca
January 18, 2014 at 9:50 pm
It’s Francesca. Sorry there’s more I’m also scarred that if I follow your plan not talking for a month he may forget about me. And I’m scarred he won’t miss me anymore. Idk. I just miss him so much. And I’m destroyed. I’m scared that if I give him the impression I’m over him he’ll move on from me cuz that’s what he sai should happen and he’ll just be happy we did move on. But during the time that I do ur plan. I won’t ever move on from him cuz he is the love of my life.
Bridget
January 18, 2014 at 9:20 pm
Hi Chris!
This article was amazing, thank you! Not expecting a response but I like to hash out my thoughts through writing anyway. My boyfriend and I have dated for about a year and a half (im 20 and hes 24). On a day-to-day basis everything was pretty much perfect, we would fight every now and then but I thought we had each others backs. A few months ago we got into our biggest fight because some dude was sexting me. He would say graphic things to me and I would respond with a “haha cool” or something like that. The guy knew that I had a boyfriend but would continue anyway. I think on a basic level I liked the attention, even though I had absolutely no intentions of acting on the things he had been talking about. Anyway, my boyfriend got suspicious of who I was texting and went through my phone. He screamed at me (rightfully so) and I told the other guy off and deleted his number. We had one other conversation through text about how he was hurt and I assured him that the texts weren’t a reflection of how I felt about him. We made up and everything seemed fine.
I few weeks ago an old hook up buddy and I were catching up through text while I was hanging out with my boyfriend. There was never any romantic feelings between me and the old friend, we would just chat every now and then. Eventually, he texted me about a recent sexual encounter that he had, which was kind of weird and inappropriate but I responded again with something like “haha cool, congrats”. My boyfriend and I went to sleep and my old friend asked what kind of panties I was wearing. My boyfriend again had been suspicious of me and looked at my phone while I was sleeping. When he had to go to work the next morning, he kissed me goodbye and texted me for the first half of the day like everything was fine. Then nothing for a whole day. I asked what was wrong and he said that he knew and that we were done. I tried explaining the situation and apologizing but he wanted nothing to do with me. I kept saying that we should talk it out in person but has refused to see me (not even to get my stuff back from his apartment). He agreed to talk on the phone but it was too soon for me and the second he responded negatively I freaked out and started crying (not a good look, I know).
Anyway, over the course of the past 2 weeks I have still been trying to set up a face to face conversation. I’ve pretty much lost hope at this point. I apologized in a very humble facebook message, which he said that he appreciated but that I was too immature for him and that what I did was bullshit. I still said I wanted to talk in person and after a few days of leaving him alone he said he wanted to talk too. Then the next day he texted me about his life like nothing had ever happened. For a few days he went like this and I tried to go along with it even though I was confused. Some of the texts from him were a little passive aggressive but I thought it had meant that he was coming around and had realized that maybe what I did wasn’t so bad. I waited until the day we had previously agreed to meet up and he said there was no point and that he didn’t want to have a conversation. He just flat out said no. I finally released a little bit of my anger (not terribly) and said that I felt like I was being punished for sexting someone when I didn’t. He told me to go fuck off and still won’t let me have closure or get my stuff back.
As you said in your article, even though some damaging things have been said I think that it’s easier to get back together when the break up was over a fight. I just don’t understand why he was giving me hope that we would talk it out and then be so callous and cruel once it came down to it. I also don’t get why, if he truly wants nothing to do with me, he won’t let me get my stuff back. That’s going to have to happen sooner or later! I’m going to implement the 30 day no contact rule now, do you think it will work even though he has been so adamant about not wanting to be with me?
admin
January 19, 2014 at 11:12 pm
Well, here is a response.
Question. Have you read the other stuff on this site? It might give you more insight than I can in a small comment?
Bridget
January 20, 2014 at 12:06 am
Yes, I have been reading a lot! I guess I really won’t know anything until after the 30 days of no contact… thanks though 🙂 Based on his own personality and what you’ve said in the articles I think he’s just really upset and emotional now… not a good time to try anything
admin
January 20, 2014 at 7:10 pm
Upset and emotional is very normal
Bridget
January 20, 2014 at 9:59 pm
just found out that he has blocked me on facebook even though i havent been contacting him. Is this still just coming from upset/emotional or is he done with me completely? Maybe doing it for his own good so he doesn’t have to be reminded of me? (wishful thinking I know)
Beccy
January 18, 2014 at 8:11 pm
Hi Chris
I’m looking for some advice. My boyfriend of a year broke up with me a week ago. We had a huge fight and he broke it off with me. I also suffer from depression and have been getting the help I need. I feel 100% better now. As usual I did the I’m so sorry texts and please give it another chance texts. He told me he doesn’t care if I move on. I know he still loves and cares about me. Is it to late to go ahead with the NC stage? And do you really think he doesn’t care if I move on. Please help ASAP.
Thanks
admin
January 20, 2014 at 12:41 am
I don’t think its too late at all.
Stacie
January 18, 2014 at 8:49 am
Just want some advice really?!…
Me and my ex spilt up 4 & a half months ago I dumped him because u felt then I just didn’t want to be with him any more and was at a bad time in my life so felt I didn’t need him in my life any more after 7 years!!….BIG MISTAKE!!! I no now I new I needed him more then ever but couldn’t see it! Anyways after we spilt we both didn’t see or hear from each other but then I would say after 3/4 wks we both tx here and there to each other and met up but at this point I realised I actually made a mistake wanted him back so we spoke about it and he said what I did really hurt him and needs time and space which I kinda did give him but then whilst this was going on he was moving out of the area with his family not far but further than where he was just 5 minutes away from my house!… Anyways then u found out he was talking to this girl and he had met up with her and that… And made me feel really sad because someone was interested in him and he seemed to like that… He moved away and found out he was with this girl now but last month or so we have been txing and we have been meeting up and and he has made moves on me so I’m confused as his giving me mixed signals!! I’ve asked him again would there ever be another chance for us and back when we first broke up he was like no that’s it now but I’ve asked him recently and he said maybe as don’t wanna defo say yes! But he agreed tho we still have a laugh and get on really well still.. What shall I do? As defo want to give it another go and I know in my gut feeling that it’s worth a shot and will be much better between us! Do I just not contact him like we have been and see?
Ariana
January 18, 2014 at 8:11 am
Hey Chris,
So I have a kinda of confusing situation, So Im in middle school and my long term ex and I just broke up.. Im so sad. He broke up with me because he said “we fought to much” The only thing is that he was always the one starting everything.
My school is pretty small so we all have the same friends. I wanted to talk with him because i feel like we should talk about we were going to do and he agreed to talk to me. But also he never explained REALLY why we broke up. Actually his friend pressured him to brake up with me… and he did… anyways Its been a week or two and we haven’t talked about it.
I notice that he’s trying to make me jealous with flirting with my close friends. So far its been four girls and its been two weeks that we haven’t been together.
Every year my school puts on a show for all the students to watch with all the families. Well he’s and emcee and he’s having an after party. I was texting him today and he asked me to go. Then I was talking to my best friend and she said that the girl that he liked before me but also a girl that he made out with in the summer was going to be there. Ive been threatened for the whole relationship by her. Im not sure if i should go to his party because also you were talking about jealously and he’s an easy target for that and he’s inviting all the guys that i can flirt with but the threat is there. My best friend was saying that she was going to have the party but she’s not friends with those other girls so he HAD to have it at his house so that they could come…. Do u think he’s trying to make me jealous? He acts so flirty and told my friend that he doesn’t REALLY have feelings anymore. Im getting mixed feelings from him and i don’t know if i should tell him i wanna get back or let him get with the threat. I kinda also feel like he likes her, we already know she likes him so its just a win win for her. Oh and did i mention she is another BIGGG reason why we broke up. Yeah so i dontknow what to do. I really do hope you can help.
🙂
Thanks
Nicole
January 17, 2014 at 4:33 am
REPLY PLEASE 🙂
Im glad i saw this page but is it too late?
well my bf broke up with me after 5 months
I love him heaps,in the end he said he doesnt love me and never did. but i know that’s untrue
I know he broke up with me because i was very un motivated and bit of downer, no job, he has kids too so its normal to want a gf with goals and a promising future…
after our break up i got on the anti depressants and feel better, im starting my diploma next week, im going to start the gym, and defs time to re-invent myself …. I tried contacting him but hes ignoring me…….(this was before i read this)last message i sent was along the lines of FINE I WONT CONTACT U ANYMORE LOL :/
Im going to try the nc period, i just have a feeling it wont work haha
do u think i should just not worry about it
joyce
January 17, 2014 at 2:27 am
Hey, great article.
I’m confuse, please help me 🙂 ok so my ex broke up with me 18 months ago, we really love each other i must say his crazy inlove with me, but my status is complicated i am married. He knew it from the start but it didn’t stop him from loving me, he knew im not happy. he wanted me to leave my husband but i have a son so it makes it a bit harder, you know what i mean. so he kept waiting for me to leave my husband, but one day he just got tired of waiting i guess, met a girl and few months later his engaged and got married. Everything happened so fast, i was actually ready to leave my husband but it was too late for me, i been crying for months..after that we didn’t talk for month, but there are some times he sent me some txt like “i still think about you all the time, i realize im still deeply inlove with you, i miss you so much, i love you always” i tried to ignore him coz his married and im married too but we still have feelings for each other. so just try to be cool and sent him friendly text. anyway just 2 weeks ago he asked me to see him, i said yes and we met for a drink in a hotel lobby, i was so anxious, shaking, numb, excited, i don’t know the feeling its all mixed up that i am going to see my ex again after 18 months. so went to the meeting place and his there waiting for me, when he saw me he hugged me tight and kiss me on the lips. i must say i like it coz i still love him, and so we sat down and talk for about 3 hours, he keep staring at me and admiring me, saying sweet words, his touching my legs as well, shoulder and neck. anyway it’s time to say goodbye but he asked to drop me off where i live so i said yes, while waiting for the taxi he kissed me on the forehead like 5 times and touch my but, in the taxi he kissed me on the neck first and lips like the whole time while we were in the taxi, and asked to meet him again friday afternoon after he got back from his bussiness trip. I said yes and friday came he txted me that he landed and asked if he still want to meet up, i said yes and got a reply from him “ok, be there in 5 mins” i was thinking why didn’t he go home and see his wife first? why he chose to see me first? so we talked for about an hour and he left. He texted me after 5 mins his gone “ur still amazing, u look and u feel so great, love u deep deep inside me” and “i dream of our dream together, u never leave me ” he texted me the next day “can’t stop thingking of u, u look so great, be safe and hope to see u again.
So can you tell me what this all about please? what is he trying to do? he just got married few months ago, i wan’t him back. you think he want me back too? i don’t care if were both married, we were very happy those times we were together and comfortable talking at each other about everything. Please help me. THANK YOU SO MUCH
admin
January 20, 2014 at 7:09 pm
So, you are married to someone and he is married to someone?
Joyce
January 21, 2014 at 1:35 pm
Sadly yes
Emma
January 16, 2014 at 9:14 pm
Well me and my boyfriend broke up in December 2013 and I still remember getting his text I was in school and he went home sick as lunch so he could text what he said to me . He told me he was done with the drama and bullshit and lies …. We were both so happy and we have been dating for a very ling time we have had sleepovers and he was practically family . We used to get in trouble both of together and sneek out just to see eachother. He’s from Alberta and he went away for a month and latly when he came back from his trip in novemeber I still remember he seemed to change and act strange . He seemed different, I loved him with every peice of me I have him my every thing I loved him with every peice of me . I can’t seem to find myself to move on I have tryed to . But every day I see to catch myself thinking or talking about him. I am lost without him and all I want to do is have him . He also told my bestfriend the day after he has always loved her not me . The period in school when he texted me those words I still remember when I read it I told my friends and I started losing my mind and crying and screaming and sobbing in the hallway at school and everyone knew and seen me . I have no clue how to handle this . It hurts me to see him and talk to him and knowing I can’t hug him and I can’t love him . When really he was the only reason I woke up with a smile on my face . He’s such a asshole and I have had my moments when I just want to punch him but honestly I think I’m in love with him ..
-emma
E
January 16, 2014 at 2:14 am
Chris,
I just wanna say, I’ve never been so thankful for randomly discovering a website. I had almost no hope (I thought) of getting my ex back before I found it. Everything you say is packed with so much wisdom!
I dated this guy for a few months after and fell hard for him. I was so sure he felt the same, until a breakup occurred seemingly out of nowhere. After taking time to think and reading this site I feel like I realize the things I was doing wrong. We had just gotten to a place about 2 months after the breakup where he was contacting me every few days before I found this site. Even though I felt I had made progress on my own, I decided to trust your advice here and start nc. I just finished my 30 day NC today. Feels good!
I spent the 30 days working on getting in shape physically and mentally. Reading your articles helped me keep strong during this period of time when he would contact me and I was about to slip. He sent me 4 texts over the nc period, 3 of which were in the first 10 days and the last one being on THE day nc ended. I feel really lucky because I didn’t feel like I had to come up with some hook to get him to answer, instead I just responded positively to his text and a short positive conversation ensued. I now have hope that if I stay strong and keep self-control I can make the best chance for myself to get him back someday. Thank you Chris!
Ladies, this guy knows what he’s talking about. Please please do nc. You will feel so much better after taking some time for yourself and distancing yourself from the situation! While I still love my ex dearly, I know now I’ll be okay even if things don’t work out 🙂
I have one question for you though:
If he asks to meet up before I’ve gone through the steps you have above, when is it okay to do so?
That is all! Thanks again for giving us ladies the hope we need to make positive changes in our lives and relationships
admin
January 16, 2014 at 5:52 pm
I am thankfully you randomly discovered it as well!
If it is ok with you to meet up with him then I say go for it.
E
January 17, 2014 at 5:28 am
OK thank you 🙂
I forgot to say before, of all your articles on here the ones on the ungettable girl concept have been the most eye opening and inspiring. You are seriously talented in writing. I’m sure I speak for a bunch of us when I say thank you for taking time out of your life to help us confused/lost girls out!
admin
January 19, 2014 at 11:19 pm
Hmm… so more ungettable girl type ones… check!
Hayley
January 15, 2014 at 11:26 pm
My boyfriend left me because “he stopped loving me”. He just suddenly stopped trying to hold a conversation or say I love you (for about a week) before breaking up with me with that excuse. I heard that that is like “it’s not me it’s you” and it’s vague and misleading like he’s not telling me everything. He’s one that’s always sucked at communication even though I’m one of the few people he actually occasionally opens up to but he insists there’s no other reason besides that he just stopped loving me. He says he still cares about me and I can see his eyes following me in the halls, I know there’s something there. How can I get him back if he won’t tell me what went wrong, cuz I can’t fix anything for next time then and I really want to even if we could just be friends cuz I just want to have him still in my life at least. He’s also someone that doesn’t really do anything if you ignore him, he just “respects your decision” so will ignoring him really do much besides make him drift away from me? I’m so scared I’m gonna lose him that much more if I leave him with the friends he’s found now, since he didn’t have any after our break up. Please if there’s any other notes you have for a situation like that, I really need them. I’m ok being single really, but I still love him and really want him back in my life, preferably by my side again.
Zara
January 17, 2014 at 3:24 am
My situation is VERY similar to yours!!! It is frustrating!
Iz
January 16, 2014 at 7:10 pm
So me and my ex were together for 4 years we are both in our mid 20s. We were engaged the last year of our relationship. I broke up with him almost two years ago because I was younger than and wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment. In the last almost two years I had another bf and dated around and my ex was always there trying to get me back but because of immaturities I wasn’t able to do it, we’ve tried to get back together a few times in that period that we’ve been broken up but hasn’t worked. But the last few months we’ve been good, we were really good friends and I was giving him and myself time to heal from everything before I told him that we should get back together. Last month in dec he told me he met a girl that he really liked that he loved me but was tired of waiting for me, I told him I wanted to be with him and he said he didn’t believe me, that it was just because I saw him with another girl. He drunk called me on nye and said he loved me and that he needed to move on. Few days later I found out he was dating this girl. A week later he drunk calls me again to tell me he made a mistake telling this girl to be his gf that she’ found out who I was and was jealous. That’ night he said other things that i wanted to hear and the next morning pretended not to remeber. I was angry made a scene and a day later apologized and told him that I didn’t want to be angry with him. All he said was that he needed to move on and to heal from all the pain I have caused him haven’t spoken to him in a few days. I truly do want him back and know I am ready for the commitment that he wants. I just don’t know if it’s too late. Do you think NCR will work in this situation?
Annie
January 15, 2014 at 11:07 pm
I don’t expect you to even read this, let alone reply, I’m taking a leap of faith and telling you my ex-boyfriend story.
My name is Annie, and I’m 16. My boyfriend (or rather, ex-boyfriend) broke it off on January 8th. He’d said it was because “we were drifting apart and he had other things to focus on”. I don’t doubt the focusing on other things bit- he takes AP courses at a private school, is on the varsity lacrosse team, and has a lot going on with his family. However, I had a feeling that the drifting apart bit was a lie.
As it turns out, I was correct. I spoke to a mutual friend, who told me that my boyfriend felt that he didn’t think he was “getting enough” after six months.
This will require some background knowledge for you; Going into the relationship, I wasn’t comfortable with going too far (for lack of a better term) but as we got closer (he was like my best friend) I become more comfortable. Soon I was comfortable with satisfying his needs, but not necessarily sleeping with him. However, he broke up with me before I could tell him. The mutual friend told him this. The mutual friend also said that he seemed upset, but was trying to cover it up with humor, which is not out of character at all for him. He’s never upfront about his emotions and tends to suppress them.
I have absolutely no doubt that he at least still cares about me; he was constantly telling me how much he loved me and how much I meant to him. However, I’m not sure that he misses me.
I’m implimenting the No Contact Rule. So far, I’m on day 6. My goal is 30 days. I’ve also come to the realization that my severe depression and anxiety were most likely a contributing factor to his breaking up with me. Because of this, I’ve been back on my medication regularly and have pushed negative thoughts out of my mind.
He knows this as well. Before I began utilizing the NCR, I dropped his stuff off at his house with a note telling him all of this. Not once in the letter did I ask for another chance or beg for him back, because I knew that it would make me seem overemotional and desperate.
Though I still feel excessively upset, I’m not letting him know. He still follows me on Twitter and Instagram, and I’ve been tweeting very positive things and pictures of me hanging out with friends (both male and female). He’s most likely expecting me to be binging on junk food and crying and staying home, which is why I’m doing the opposite; to show him I’m independent.
After the NCR period is over, I was planning on texting him something like “I have a confession to make” or something along those lines. I want to text him because it’s less formal than a phone call; and I want the text to be so attention-grabbing that he has no other choice but to reply. Then I’ll reply with “I forgot it was your birthday on January 16… so happy birthday!” and I’ll end the conversation there. Then I’ll wait a few days and text him something like “Remember when ‘X’ happened? ‘Y’ just made me think of it!” and then slowly but surely we’ll start talking again.
So what i want to get out of this e-mail is your thoughts on my plan, and any editions you might add. I also want to know if you think this plan will work on a headtsrong high school boy. Thanks so much! Take care. x
admin
January 16, 2014 at 5:45 pm
I READ IT!
Sounds like you have a solid plan… seriously. It’s like… you actually read what I wrote 😉
Annie
January 16, 2014 at 11:39 pm
but do you think that it will work? he’s kind of stubborn.
admin
January 20, 2014 at 7:06 pm
I think it can.
anita
January 15, 2014 at 6:56 pm
hi chris, so I dated this guy for about 3months and we had a very good relationship,then he suddenly stopped talking to me. I have done all the wrong things cried, begged, threatened suscide and all. we have started to talk now but mostly I initiate the conversation. its about a month now. I really want him back he made me happy, is it too late to start NC? being that we already talk from time to time
admin
January 16, 2014 at 5:30 pm
No it is not!
Rosie
January 15, 2014 at 4:59 pm
Hey, so my boyfriend broke up with me me about a month and a half ago. He broke up with me as he said he didn’t feel the same. I also found out he got together with another girl two days after breaking up with me. He is from Spain and this girl us in spain. (I’m in London) but we slept together a few times and he said he still felt something just not in the same way. He then moved back to Spain after a month of that. I said a lot of things about how I missed him and he said he thought I was the one but he was wrong and is now in love with this other girl! We only went out for 4 months but I really love him. We got on so well together. He even took me to Spain to meet his family and friends! I’m currently ussing the no contact rule but only for 4 days so far. Please help as I feel it’s harder when when he’s in a different country! Can you recommend anything? Thanks!
Mado
January 15, 2014 at 2:07 pm
Hello Chris!
I am at the point where have full conversations with my ex now.At xmas eve he almost said that he wanted to meet me but I wasn’t in town that period so we didn’t.In General things were good until 1st of january.He just kept saying that he misses me and so I told him it’s obvious what he has to do.Then he said that we would meet the other day.Only a few hours later he asked me to go to his place but I kindly refused cause I didn’t think it’s a good idea.Even so the next day he didn’t say anything about meeting again,he just kept talking like nothing’s wrong.After a few dayshe again said that he wants to meet me truly but hedid nothing. Yesterday he texted me,quite furious if I could tell,”it’s only me you were embarassed to meet under your house”.As I learned later he saw me talking with my cousin(I explained him that) under my House while passing with his bike.The point is that the road he was passing it’s 2 blocks away from my House so I wandered if he was checking to see me, I asked him that only to get ”what are you thinking now?why I ever told you that” as a reply. we continued talking but he changed subject after that and I think there are times where he avoids certain questions.. So I’m starting to beleive he’s not interested. Why he tells he wants t meet me but he never does? I’m so confused and I don’t want how to handle this.. Please, can you help? What should I do?
Mozzi
January 15, 2014 at 1:09 pm
Ok this is basically my fault but I liked this guy for a year. then he liked me for a bit then he goes out with my best friend for about 9 months.I still liked him during. another year later he likes me again and we go out. I told him not to tell anybody but he told his friends and then I broke up with him after a day .but that’s not thereal reason I broke up with him. My best friend and I are really alike very very similar but she moved away do when he said liked me I just felt like I was second best to her. I didn’t talk to him for a month and he didn’t miss me he just got mad at me and started to hate me. Now he has this new girlfriend that hates me but I barely even speak to her. She lies a lot and always says to other people that I like to say bad stuff about her and him. Me and him are good friends again and we have been for a long time but I still like from three years ago. What can I do. I die a little bit everyday when I see them together or hear someone mention his name but I hid it pretty well until one of my guy friends who I thought I trusted told the guy I liked that I liked him. I am really good at hiding my feelings but now I don’t know what to do. When I found out he knew scratched my hand in the same place for about 15 minutes and now I have a scar from that. So imagine what would happen if the girlfriend or other people knew. Help
Chloe
January 15, 2014 at 2:24 am
We broke up just over a month ago. We dated once before this, so this is our second breakup. He said he has school to deal with etc., and said we wouldn’t talk to six weeks (assuming that’s the amount of time needed to move on). I went no contact right after the break up. Two weeks later he talks to me, saying he thinks about me and wished me a merry christmas. A week later he messages me, and we strike up a conversation that was light and pleasant, he spoke about his family, and no mention of the relationship was made. New years day he messages me asking me who I was with, and what I did. He made it a point to say he hasn’t been intimate with anyone else, among other personal confessions regarding intimacy. I told him off, stating that it was inappropriate to mention things like that when he ended it. The next night however, we spoke for 6 hours…he brought up the relationship, saying he misses me, sees potential for us once school has been completed for the both us, that he doesn’t want to disappear from my life, and in time we can friends. It was a pretty deep and unexpected conversation. At times it was light, and fun, then it took a turn to the emotional side of things. But I believe he was genuine. A few days after that we were talking and joking around, and he stopped replying. Last wednesday i called him out on it, and he said he meant everything he said, but he realized it was too soon to be anything, and he needs space. Is this a set back in trying to get him back, or to establish anything such as being friends? what do i do? he said he’s normally numb to everything and doesn’t let things bug him, but the break up hit him hard.
admin
January 15, 2014 at 6:52 pm
Have you follwed the advice on this page yet?
Chloe
January 15, 2014 at 11:49 pm
in terms of what?
Jenna
January 14, 2014 at 10:58 pm
I’m going to make this short-and-sweet..
My boyfriend and I had been together for a year and he decided to end things. His reasoning: “I have a lot going on, I just feel like I need to be single”. Of course, I did the typical beg for him back, nag, blah blah. Then things went back to normal. I even asked what we were and he said “We’re a couple, without the title”. I had to initiate the NC rule and I had to tell HIM to leave me alone (Not as hostile, of course) because I felt like he was trying to ‘get his cake and eat it too’ and it was just sending me mixed emotions.
So we didn’t talk for about a week but we used to live together, I have stuff of his, he has stuff of mine. Meaning that I would have to talk and see him eventually.
Well.. We’ve been hanging out for the past few days, with and without friends. He even suggests that we “go for a beer” tomorrow… I get the feeling like he knows what he wants……He’s just “confused”. What do I do? I’ve been taking this breakup relatively well and now we’re hanging out and I have to control myself around him (sexually, mentally, expectationally). We were both completely blind sided by this and this is a very confusing situation for me. We both make each other very happy and we have a great thing going for us and I’m not the only one who believed that.. I’m debating on taking him up on this drink and addressing what’s going through OUR heads when it comes to this and thus far, take it from there. Any advice???
admin
January 15, 2014 at 6:42 pm
How long did you last in NC?
Jenna
January 16, 2014 at 8:24 pm
A week…
Sarah
January 13, 2014 at 3:56 pm
Okay I need help! Me and my boyfriend of about a year broke up about 3 months ago. I tried the whole no contact thing. That only lasted for like a week because we work together. Right now we still hang out on the weekends and it feels like we are still dating. But don’t text as much when we aren’t together. He’s been texting this other girl who is living up north at the moment. I know he still cares about me because when we hang out we always talk about everything and he still tells me and trust me with everything. He has been dealing with a lot lately so I’ve been helping him with deal with things. He knows I will always be there for him no matter what and vise versa. Everyone I work with says im chasing a hopeless situation, but they don’t know him like I do. The other day i texted him a noval of a text honestly saying that i’ve been trying to get back together with him since we broke up. He never answered but, his birthday is coming up and he agreed to letting me take him out to dinner. I just don’t know if I should bring that up or wait for him to bring it up. I don’t want to ruin his birthday with ex girlfriend problems. Any advise on getting him back?
Sarah
January 14, 2014 at 7:58 pm
Please help me. Things took a turn for the worse. I texted him happy bray this morning and said I would pick him up later tonight for dinner and he told me he was gonna be busy all day. I don’t know what to do. We work together this weekend. What am I to do?
admin
January 15, 2014 at 6:41 pm
Well maybe he really is going to be busy.
Hayley
January 15, 2014 at 11:59 pm
He’s probably not busy if they promised to hang out.
Sarah
January 14, 2014 at 8:00 pm
*bday
Zara
January 13, 2014 at 3:45 pm
Okay so here is my story… I met my guy online three years ago.. we knew each other previously but did not talk much… he found me after years and pursued me… we LOVED talking to each other and liked each other a LOT but did not get into a relationship “officially”! deep down, we did feel committed to each other…. this went on for 6-7 months and because of something i did for him, he realized he loved me and we got into a long distance relationship… we both were MADLY in love and even though i got to meet him after months of dating, it was magical!he fell deeper n deeper in love with me n so did i… we had slight ups n downs but we went strong and he often communicated to me how he would never let me go and he doesn’t want a life that doesn’t have me in it… despite the distance, we were VERY happy and it seemed too good to be real! now here is what happened, last year sometime, i went through a bad phase… being used to him i dumped all my emotions on him and often showed how vulnerable and insecure i am… this might have put him off and also made him take me for granted, he confronted me and i realized my mistake… i started working on it but just after about a month he told me that he wants to break up with me because his feelings apparently “faded away” and he just doesnt want to be in ANY relationship anymore… it was shocking but i took it gracefully… we decided to meet after that and the day we met, we had a great time because of the day i had planned… he expected me to beg n be needy but i was the opposite.. we discussed the situation and he accepted that both of us made mistakes.. he even accepted that he might be making one right now… on phone he had told me that he had already moved on and wanted flings and affairs but here he was completely confused… he kept looking at me lovingly and wiping my tears and hugging me.. after the duscussion he behaved JUST like he used to when we were a couple, holding hands, arm in arm, touching, etc… i got confused but wet with it… at the end of the day we parted ways by hugging but he kept looking at me affectionately and gave me a peck… he made it clear that he wanted to meet me again and he wanted me to message him… i went back utterly confused but happy… i knew i made him think… the days following that, he did talk and kept bringing up the past and how i laugh and what he misses and how cute i am.. i kinds slipped there.. there was an abrupt control from his side and what i gather from his friends is that he still hasn’t thought AGAINST the breakup….i did tell him that i still love him the day we met and that what he is doing is wrong… he told me he doesn’t want to forget me and doesn’t want me to hate him either… i think he is aware of the fact that i want him back (though i dint mention it once!) and takes me for granted! im SO confused! being long distance, im gettin FURTHER confused!! HELP!
Zara
January 14, 2014 at 1:11 pm
Please reply asap!! each day is crucial and im getting more n more confused! 🙁 🙁
admin
January 14, 2014 at 6:04 pm
Whats up? What you need help with?
Zara
January 15, 2014 at 7:46 am
My situation. I have written it all up there… Its the most sticky situation ive been in! idk how to go about getting my ex boyfriend back! :/
Zara
January 16, 2014 at 3:08 pm
its been almost a week since i applies nc… he hasnt msgd… it is weird since we used to tok so much… :/