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Hopeful
November 13, 2018 at 12:06 pm
Me & my ex were together 10 years, I’m 27 he’s 28. He told me he started to have feelings for someone at work and it broke me. We decided to work on things and told me he stopped contact with her at work. Within the week of “working” on things, he friend started to msg him while she had a boyfriend. We lived together, were speaking about marriage and he was showing me rings, one month after that is when this all started with the losing feelings for me. Within the week of working on things I found out he was talking to another girl and was so distant with me. I confronted him & he said he didn’t have it in him to work on things. We continued to live together but he was always sleeping out & never home. Within the 3 months we lived together while being broken up, first month we were still intimate and acted like a couple. We had cried together and he always told me he didn’t want another relationship with someone he just wanted to be single and enjoy life. He told me we couldn’t continue to live with each other but as for our lease contract we had no choice. I then told him last month enough is enough, please leave you’re never here & he did. I found out he is now living with this girl, he’s known her for about 5 months. Within the 2nd month of our break up I did contact her & she didn’t even know about me, she told me her and her boyfriend broke up a week ago but she really liked my ex & she told me she would keep her distance from him but i felt stupid for contacting her, I felt desperate & wanted answers. After he left he contacted me & I would contact back if it was regarding bills or financial situations. He then messaged me about nonessential things but I never replied. Longest we went without contact was 8 days. He messaged me first again because of a financial issue, I responded & haven’t spoken to him since. He broke me & the past few months I have been working towards improving myself and he had even told me the last time I seen him how beautiful I looked and he left with his head hanging low when he asked me how I was and if I was okay. I simply replied yes, I’m fine. I couldn’t believe he moved in with her, he moved a few things to his parents but refused to live with them, I kept all of the furniture and he told me he didn’t want any of it. It never makes more than a week without him contacting me regarding something he knows I have to answer & cant ignore as I’ve ignored non important things before. I did mess up in the first few months of the break up with crying, calling him & being needy. For one month he has been gone & I do love him deeply, despite everything. In 10 years we never broke up, our fights never lasted for then a few hours and they were silly little things. Beyond anything we were best friends, he had called me to tell me he tried filling the void inside him with things he doesn’t enjoy doing because everything reminds him of me. This was over a month ago, my greatest fear is this isn’t a rebound for him, he chose to see where things would go with this girl instead of working on things with me. At this point I don’t know what else to do besides improve myself, not contact him & wait for him to contact me. Although he can be stubborn & in my opinion he thinks I’m okay with the breakup since I never try to contact him. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you & sorry for the extremely long post.
Chris Seiter
November 14, 2018 at 2:06 am
I hopeful…so you both have 10 years together and that is traction and should help you going forward. I agree more time and space apart is a pragmatic approach. Have you had a chance to take a look at my No Contact Rule Book or Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro. These resources can help you understand this whole process of potentially re-attracting your ex and also help you in the healing department. I see you have been working on being the best “you” you can be and you should be proud of your efforts. Keep working in that direction.
Tia Thieman
October 22, 2018 at 3:36 am
So my boyfriend and father to my child dumped me for another girl. I am pregnant with my second our second child. I know deep down I shouldn’t want him back. However I would give anything to figure this thing out and go the distance. I love the man he could be. Hes acting like hes having the time of his life. I might have freaked out in the beginning but now I’m trying this no contact rule in Hope’s one day he will return and remember we were a family. I should add that hes 20 and I’m 30. So I get his age is a factor.
Chris Seiter
October 22, 2018 at 3:52 am
Hi Tia!
Very sorry for what has happened to you. Its upsetting to me that men behave this way. I think NC is the right medicine for you. Consult my home page of this site for resources and tools.
Confused
September 17, 2018 at 11:42 pm
I was in a LDR,I found out my boyfriend has a live in partner but he said he will fix things I just need to be patient. That I’m the one he chose. But one day his gf found out about us and the girl deleted his social media account (that’s where we mostly text each other) the girl knows his password. After that day I haven’t heard from the guy. Not even an explanation or closure. Although he still has his main account and hasn’t blocked me yet, I left him messages but he ignores them. Doesn’t even read them at all. He has two accounts btw. The girl just deleted the one where he can communicate with me. She doesn’t know about it till she opened his email. But the guy added me already before on his main account. Although it hurts me because they have pictures there together the guy always tells me I have nothing to worry about because the pictures are from years ago. He no longer updates it. I thought he really chose me but what happened? He wasn’t even talking to me. Last I heard the girl kicked him out of their house. What should I do?
Chris Seiter
September 19, 2018 at 12:24 am
Hi Confused!
Interesting name. But lets change it to “Empowered”, because that is where you should strive to be. Go to my home page and tap into the articles and tools and books there as they can help you figure out how to deal with your ex.
Helen
September 4, 2018 at 6:40 pm
Me (28) and my ex (27) we met at work. We are of different nationalities. I liked him a bit but at that time he had a girlfriend, so I didn’t do anything not even flirt. After six months at a party we slept together. Then I went on holidays. He kept texting every day. When I got back we met again and he broke up with his ex to be with me. (His ex was his first girl ever and the only girl that he ever did anything with). Everything was fine but 3 months later he said that he thinks of maybe trying again with his ex because he thought he didn’t try enough. So He talks with his ex they agree to give it another try and we break up. He kept texting me all this time again saying he misses me and he has doubts about what his choice. After a week his ex tells him that she is dating a new person and she doesn’t want to try again. I called him trying to support him while he was devastated because I could understand his pain. I said ok but you know how I feel about you so please let me know where we stand. He said he had feelings for me of course but he doesn’t know anymore with everything that happened and that we would have to meet in person to see how he feels. We met 2 times and he said yeah let’s give it a try of course I have feelings for you. We started dating again properly and everything was fine. Of course he was telling me from time to time that he has these emotional drawbacks but the last very little and that they are getting better. All this time the only thing I wanted was from him to tell me that he is in love with me. He didn’t. He was very future oriented (He is Dutch after all) and coming from a small village, he was thinking about how I would fit with his friends that don’t speak english, that we are from very different backgrounds and that can be good and bad. 2 months ago we broke up because he said that he feels that he missed the boat or the timing is bad. He said he has still feelings for me,that I am the funniest girl he ever met, he has never felt so connected with anyone and that we like the same things (expect the fact that I don’t do a lot of sports and I smoke), but he doesn’t know what else is out there because he has only seen two extremes (his ex and me, as we are culturarly different). So we break up. We talk from time to time on the phone or on whatsapp (this time I mostly began the contact). I asked him if it was completely done between us for him ( two separate times) and he said no. One month ago I ask him to meet. He was thinking about it for two weeks and then he agreed. He told me also that he went on a first date with a girl. Well, we met hanged out for 6 hours having fun. The last two hours we started talking about us. He told me that he has told me that he loved me once but he did when I was asleep. He told me he still has feelings for me but that this has gone on too long we tried but it didn;t work and that he would not try again for a long time. I told him that he blamed our relationship for ending his last and he agreed. I told him that I want to try again with a clean slate, a new beginning erasing all the previous feelings and start over and see how it works. He said we don’t have a clean slate yet and it would take some time. I told him I loved him and I will wait for him, He said he doesn’t feel the same but we cannot change that at this moment. I said I hope we try again promise me at least you ll think about it. He said I will for now give it time. The next day he would go on a second date with this girl. I tried to contact him a few times after that ( 5 messages in total in a span of 3 weeks), but he didn’t reply anymore. On the 5th message I just asked him to explain what’s happening, if he hates me or something just give me a reason for all this ignorance. He replied saying is not a good idea to talk anymore, it was already too much for him spending an evening with me, and that the girl that he is dating wasn’t pleased with us meeting so he agreed not to talk to me anymore for a while so I can move on and that he does not want to break his promise. I told him I don’t want you to break any promise, I just hope she ll make you as happy as I would and that you won’t regret treating me like this. Be happy but happy not just comfortable you deserve much more than that always remember that. That was it. 5 days later he blocked me on whatsapp and deleted me form fb. Can anyone understand this? because I sure cannot. What did I do to him and he acts this way. Can I still get him back ? ( now is been a month that he has blocked me)
Chris Seiter
September 4, 2018 at 9:10 pm
Hi Helen!
It can be hard to make sense of a lot of breakup actions by our exes. What you want is an ex recovery plan. Go visit my home page and check out the tools and resources available to you there to learn more about my program.
qs
August 27, 2018 at 5:44 pm
Hi there, so I’ve been involved with my co-worker. Since the beginning, I’ve been a third party then he ended things with his girlfriend. Then he said that we were just fuck buddies. Then he said that he wants to date other people cos we’re not exclusive. Now, he’s going out a lot with this one girl and he’s ignoring my messages. I see him everyday at work and we barely speak now. How do I intiate the no contact rule when I have to speak to him because of work?
Chris Seiter
August 28, 2018 at 9:56 pm
Hi QS!
That was a rather rude and crude thing for him to say in characterizing the relationship. He seems to want everything his way. Limit your contact with him at work seems like a reasonable approach. Then NC the rest of the time. And use this time during NC to heal and work on doing things for “you”. When you find more emotional balance, Ask yourself later, if this guy is worth investing more time in.
Sam
August 27, 2018 at 1:50 pm
My ex an I broke up a month ago and I’ve been doing no contact. However I found out from a friend that he’s doing fine and said he doesn’t regret breaking up as he knew we weren’t meant to be and that he met a new girl (he’s out of the country for the next month) and so they are planning to catch up when he’s back. I really want him back but I don’t know how I can salvage it when he’s desiring this new person 🙁 we never fought and we worked so well together. He’s stubborn and doesn’t think we are suppose to be and I don’t know how to flip that
Chris Seiter
August 27, 2018 at 3:32 pm
Hi Sam!
I hear this a lot. The guy thinks everything is find and has met someone else. But sometimes, appearances can be deceiving and the other girl is a rebound. So we will see in time what happens here. I think using no contact is the right move and doing it in the way I teach in my program will help you the most!
Vanessa
August 22, 2018 at 11:31 am
I’m depressed and hopeless, my ex boyfriend and I split out on April, we had a lot of fighting and he hold a negative perception about me. We speak in June after absolute silent treatment from him and he said he need more space to figure out but he left the door open so bring me hope and I put in a waiting mood until August that was the time he said. When August comes he replied very late to my email and I went to face him only to hear he don’t want a relationship with me anymore, that there isn’t hope or nothing I can do for that, and he started to see a new girl two weeks ago that is easy and cold like him with makes him enjoy her company a lot. I made all the mistakes like getting mad, begging, etc. For now he said he keep the offer of only friendship to me but he don’t want to I wait for him. It seems hopeless. I’m hurt as hell. How I can do?
Chris Seiter
August 25, 2018 at 12:12 am
Hi Vanessa….best to focus on yourself and your healing and becoming the best version of yourself. You can do that while in No Contact. I write about this extensively in this site and in my books.
herlyma
August 6, 2018 at 3:18 pm
cheated on my ex, made him feel terrible out of anger and now he has gone n he has feelings for another girl. its just 2 weeks now. how do i get him back. cos i have been apologizing and also sent people to beg him too
hayley
August 5, 2018 at 1:33 am
Me and my ex had moved into our second house together we had been together 2 years and have a dog together. One night we went to bed besides each other as normal. He got up that morning for work and kissed me goodbye and said he loved me as normal. He then returned from work got all his things and left me. I was completely heart broken never felt pain like it! It’s been just over a month and he has a new girlfriend. He has blocked me off everything social media platform as well as blocking my number. I haven’t heard a single thing from him. I haven’t had any explanation of why he got up and left and I just want him home. Is it a good idea to fight for him or to just leave him be.
Chris Seiter
August 5, 2018 at 1:58 am
Hi Halley!
I am so sorry for the pain you are going thru. I think for the next few weeks, you focus on your own healing. Could it be a rebound, possibly. But you need to focus on your own recovery. Look on my site for examples of things you can do to recover. Later you can assess what you want.
Chris Seiter
August 5, 2018 at 1:58 am
Hi Halley!
I am so sorry for the pain you are going thru. I think for the next few weeks, you focus on your own healing. Could it be a rebound, possibly. But you need to focus on your own recovery. Look on my site for examples of things you can do to recover. Later you can assess what you want.
Gursimran
August 1, 2018 at 4:04 pm
Me and my ex were together for 18 months and he got into a new relationship right after breaking up with me. We decided to stay as friends and we do still talk. Sometimes he randomly starts to flirt with me even though he has a girlfriend. I have asked him about her but he denies the fact that he is dating someone. He also made her delete the pictures of them together from her social media and is trying to keep the new relationship on the low. But whenever I mention a new guy to him he gets jealous and starts asking if I’m dating or like that person. I still have a lot of feelings for him and we’ve only been broken up for a month and a half and seeing him with someone else already really hurts. They’re always at each other’s house and just spending time together all the time. It hurts to see that because me and him were in a long distance relationship (about 3 hours away). I just want to know if he has really moved on or will he ever come back because he seems pretty happy with his new life.
Chris Seiter
August 2, 2018 at 3:23 am
Hi G!
Hard to know if he has moved on or if this is a rebound. 18 months gives you both some traction and so he may discover that he underappreicated you and you can help him realize that through your ex recovery plan. I have a lot resources like eBooks and other things you can find my site’s home page and encourage to go check it out so you have solid plan going forward.
Destiny
July 28, 2018 at 7:40 am
My ex and I dated four years ago. I broke up with him because of personal issues I was having with myself. I want him back so much, but he’s like he’s dating girl after girl. I texted him a few years ago, but he ignored them like he didn’t know who I am. I found out that he broke up with his ex and is now dating someone else. I do want him back, but what can I do? I’ve tried moving on, but my mind always come back to him and him alone.
Chris Seiter
July 29, 2018 at 1:53 am
Hi Destiny…..first find peace in yourself and know that you can be happy with or without him. Then you will feel empowered. As far as making a connection with him, perhaps trying texting again describing something you did together to trigger a response from him. Maybe he has moved on and if he has, hopefully he would share this with you.
Shae
May 14, 2018 at 6:56 pm
I commited the mistake of sexting with my long distance ex…a few times. I need him to see me like something else (he always says that I’m more than my body but…) and I don’t knw how to break this wheel. I did NC and he always ended up texting me but during the last three months we only texted each other (he initiating) 4 times and 3 ended like that (even if he was more affectionate, not enough). I want to be more but I don’t want to scare him and show my cards about wanting him back.
What can I do for being more than that for him again?
Missraff
May 8, 2018 at 12:28 pm
Hi. My ex and I broke up about 2 months ago. We had a very strong bond in our relationship. We still spoke during the 2 months and tried to take things slow but then we ended up fighting again. He then blocked me and i left it for about 2 weeks. I then called to tell him to bring my stuff to me he was abit skeptical about bringing it saying he doesnt want to get rid of me so easily but he found someone else. I then found out who she was (he and I were close with her family but he is closer as he works with her aunt)and completely freaked out and demanded he bring my things to me. I was hoping to be strong when I saw him but I completely lost it and begged him to come back. Of course he said no saying he moved on and I have to as well and he doesnt love me anymore(but 3 weeks ago he said he did). He asked if we could be friends at some point but not now. So right now I am working on myself not making contact with him but I really want to get him back. What do I do?
Chris Seiter
May 8, 2018 at 2:47 pm
Hi Missraff…remember that people say all kinds of things that are not necessarily true during a breakup. He may be involved with this new girl as a form of a rebound relationship. Time will tell if it gets any traction. It seems to me he still has feelings for you. You will be best positioned by picking up a copy of my comprehensive ebook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” as it is aimed at giving you a blueprint as to what you should and should not do (go to my website Menu/Products link). Your own self recovery is critical to this whole process and there are many things you can do to enhance your value in his eyes. So go take a look at some of my ebooks and other resources and services available that will help improve your chances.
tammy
May 5, 2018 at 12:37 am
Hi. My ex and I dated for almost 2 years. We broke up in Jan 2018. He said he needed to work on himself and he wasn’t sure if he ever wanted to be married again. We are both in our 40’s. We had a great relationship. Many things in common, never argued, great chemistry and mutual respect for each other.
So I was shocked when he broke up with me. I didn’t beg or bargain to try to get him back. I was able to do no contact for 21 days.
We’ve been emailing and texting ever so often, keeping it extremely upbeat. He called me once and we ran into each other on the train once where we sat together and he mentioned we should do dinner together. I agreed.
Dinner never happened.
Three weeks later I received a text message in the middle of the night from his new girlfriend (who I didn’t know existed). She sent 7 pictures and 2 video’s of them partying in London (on a trip that we had planned to take together) and 7 pictures of just herself in sexy clothes, including lingerie. I was devastated! Later found out that she had used his phone without his knowledge to send me those texts/pics. I am not connected to him on social media but found out that he did post 3 pics from their trip on his page.
I quickly blocked his number, sent him a text and email saying she had better not text me again. He emailed me and apologized, saying she was angry at him and lashed out.
I still want him back. I love him. We had a great relationship. He’s a great guy. Right now I’m on day 5 of No contact again. What do you think my chances of getting him back are and anything special i need to do?
Chris Seiter
May 5, 2018 at 4:04 am
Hi Tammy! Well…with the way the other woman is behaving, I like your chances. She seems both vindictive and mean spirited. So perhaps this is a rebound relationship for him. You picked up my epic ebook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro”, right? If not, go take a look (website Menu/Products link). It serves as sort of a Companion Guide, blueprint on tactics to optimize your chances. Right now, it’s your own personal recovery that is key. You seem to already have a strong constitution, so that bodes well. So read up on all the things you can be doing and drop me a line sometime to let me know how tings are going. By the way, you write really well! Take good care Tammy!
Tammy
May 7, 2018 at 5:58 pm
I ran into my ex again on the train. We talked. I asked him the real reason we broke up. He said that he felt I deserved better, deserved someone who would marry me. Again, shocked! I told him I’ve been reading, mediating, working on myself and that I’d rather live the rest of my life in a good relationship than mess that up over a ring and a piece of paper.
We went to lunch. Talked some more. Reminiscing over good times. He agreed that we had a great relationship. I told him I wanted him back. He said he was just dating the new girl, she is not his girlfriend. I may have told him too many times that I wanted him back but I was extremely nervous. He said he would let me know. Ended lunch on a good note.
Today I sent him a link to a concert and a short video I filmed that we had attended once before. I did not mention we should go again, just left that unsaid.
So we’ll see what happens from here. I’m so nervous waiting on his response. Not sure if I should text him again in a few days with more memories.
Chris Seiter
May 7, 2018 at 10:31 pm
Just go it slow Tammy….remember this whole ex recovery thing is a process. Sometimes it works…sometimes it doesn’t and if it doesn’t, that’s OK. Better to learn where we really stand, than delude ourselves. As to where this situation will lead…only time will tell. You guys are on talking terms and that is positive. Continue to use the tactics I discuss in my ebooks and here on the site.
tammy
May 8, 2018 at 1:48 pm
To update: I received an email from him saying that going back is not an option for him. He is going forward with the new relationship and see where it takes him.
I now have closure and have learned some very important things: patience, work on my communication skills and I need to listen to understand and not to reply and that I need to follow my instincts (I should have had this conversation with him at 21 day NC and not waited).
It really was a good relationship. He just got scared and shut me out. Sometimes relationships don’t end because they are bad. It just might not be the right time. There are no hard feelings. For some reason I don’t feel the universe if through with the two of us yet but I’m moving on. I will accept this and see what the future holds for me.
I only hope the new girl doesn’t ruin such a sweet man. I hope he can see her for who she is before it’s too late.
Thanks for your help.
Chris Seiter
May 8, 2018 at 2:39 pm
Your welcome Tammy….I have no doubt you are going to land on your feet through all this.
krena
May 3, 2018 at 4:00 pm
Hi
My ex and I have been broken up 7 months now (he left me), we were in a LDR for 2 years. We are on friendly terms (he suggested we stayed friends) and have been in contact for most of those 7 months and i would say we are pretty close. Now he told me he has a new gf for 2 months and she is extremly jealous of me. She read all our conversations and demanded from him that he stopped contacting me and she deleted my number from his phone and defriended me from some of his apps. He then gave me a “secret” email adress so i can contact him…im corious how often should i contact him (i said i wont message him, as she might see the messages on his phone) or how to stay in touch in circumstances like these. and – van this situation turn out to my advantage?
Chris Seiter
May 3, 2018 at 9:43 pm
Hi Krena….I met my wife in a LDR….so it can work out, but its hard. The involvement of another girl is an added complication. He seems to want the best of both worlds. That is not sustainable in the longterm. You have to decide if you want to enable his behavior. Its not likely he is going to drop her immediately and come running to you. But he doesn’t seem so sure what he wants. Close call here. Maybe you pull back some. Let him wrestle with what he truly wants. Can you be just a friend to him? Or do you want much more from him? I sounds like you want the latter. Or maybe its both. Can you be just a friend, if he is truly committed to this other girl? Let some time go by and let’s see what you both think in the near future.
krena
May 4, 2018 at 10:42 am
Thank you for replying, I appreciate it 🙂 You are right, I want more than just friendship…Its probably really best to pull away for some time, focus on myself and see what happens.
Chris Seiter
May 4, 2018 at 3:41 pm
I agree Krena. You also might want to look at joining my Private Facebook Support Group Community. I have about 1500 women (some men) in the Group. Its a pretty dynamic group whose aim is to help, share, support. I do weekly Facebook live webcasts. Just go to my website menu/products link to learn more!
Lena
April 14, 2018 at 10:42 am
Hi Chris,
Thanks so much for sharing this information. It’s so helpful and comforting to me right now. About 9 months ago, I met a really nice guy. He pursued me a lot and was very interested in me (more than I was in him at the time). He was very sweet and sincere with me and always uplifted me. He told me that a girl like me is hard to find (which i’ve Been told before). We had great chemistry in person and got along great and had easy conversations. I could tell that he really liked me by things he said and by how he acted with me. He talked about commitment, and how his friends and brothers were getting married, and that he is saving up to get a house. He told me that he didn’t want me to date anyone else. Anyway, so
I started responding positively to his advances and pursuit of me. I started liking him back. And he suddenly became very hot and cold with me out of nowhere. I always got the feeling that he really liked me, but he would still disappear, and then would tell me that he didn’t want to disappoint me or let me down (even though I assured him that he never had). I was always patient & understanding about things. After a while of this, He told me that he’s still so unsure of who he is and what he wants in his life. So we continued to talk as friends. And the next part is where it all went downhill. He disappeared on me again and stopped answering my texts. I asked him to please not do that to me again. Then one day, I was just feeling so exhausted from it and a bit frustrated. I sent a text saying, “I guess I’m here when you’re ready to talk to someone who has their “stuff” together. I don’t know why I said that. I was just feeling ignored and hurt. So after I sent that text, he deleted me from everything online, (Snapchat etc). I was crushed. A week or 2 later he wrote me and said that my text upset him and he doesn’t Want to be around someone that thinks that way about him. I tried to apologize and explain that what I said came out the wrong way and I was just having a tough time when I said those words. He seemed to disregard that and Just made up his mind to be done at that point. So a month went by without any contact between me and him. Then the other night, I sent a text just to “test the waters”. I just said hi and that I hoped things were going well for him. He wrote back and said that he’s doing well and that he has a GIRLFRIEND now. I felt crushed. So basically, after he cut me off, he jumped into a relationship with someone else right away. And I almost feel like he used that text I sent that “upset” him, as an excuse to end things with me. He led me to believe that he really cared for me and wanted to date me for several months. And then goes and just gets a girlfriend after telling me that he doesn’t know what he wants in his life right now. Close friends and family keep telling me that I was too good for him, and that he probably didn’t feel good enough for me. (I never slept with him and told him I was waiting). But I dunno if they are just trying to make me feel better. This has been heartbreaking and confusing for me. I never responded to him after he told me he has a girlfriend. I am going to let time pass, and possibly try reaching out again in the future, if I feel that it’s worth it. What are your thoughts? Is that a real thing? Where guys can feel intimidated or unworthy of certain girls? I feel like he just rebounded with someone else, and settled with someone who was easier for him. I don’t know. Any advice would help! Sorry this is so long! Thanks for reading!
Chris Seiter
April 14, 2018 at 2:56 pm
Hi Lena. You seem like a really special person. And while one never knows how these things work out, perhaps the fit with him and you is not ideal considering how insensitive he has behaved. Think of it this way, perhaps he had done you a favor by shining some light on what he is really about. I know there are still some feelings there. You might want to consider an ebook I wrote called the “No Contact Rulebook”. It is lengthy and talks about the merits of the process, both in terms of optimizing one’s chances with a breakup, but also there is considerable information about the personal recovery side of the ex recovery equation. Also, I have a large Private Facebook Group this has some amazing women in it that help each other and I do live webcasts weekly. YOu can find more information about these resources at my website Menu/Products link. Take good care Lena!
Lena
April 15, 2018 at 8:23 am
Chris,
Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply. You have no idea how much it’s helping me right now. I appreciate all your kind words and advice about my situation. It gives me a new perspective on things. I will definitely check out your e-book, and try to find the Facebook page as well. Thanks so much for taking the time to help all of us ladies out there who are trying to open up and heal our hearts! What a wonderful thing you are doing! Best regards.
Chris Seiter
April 18, 2018 at 4:27 am
Hi Lena…that is so sweet of you. You are special.
May
April 11, 2018 at 3:24 am
Actually, me and my boyfriend had been dating for almost 14 years and a half. (we both were 15 then) we were childhood sweethearts. We loved each other so much. He was a very understanding boyfriend and that we had planned to marry on our 11th Anniversary. But Unfortunately, I was diagnosed that I have Addison disease. But he didn’t give up and he sent me to the hospital and incurred all the medication fees. After that our wedding was cancelled. but also he didn’t give up then, he supported me whatever I need both mentally and financially. But when my family got financial problem, he supported me a lot. But about one year ago, when I wanted to study the bachelor degree ( final year) he supported me. the problem has begun then, coz I was so stressed and whenever he called me and facetime with me, I was so irritated and I was like bad mouthed to him. He was so depressed. ( yeah, we were LDR then and I was studying at another state).
and I was studying at another state). During my final year study, he went and visited to me just once. that is all. And when I came back we were discussing about the wedding again. but his business was financially in tight situation and he had another family problems. But I could never give him pure or sincere understanding and I stated to argued with him a lot. Then, he requested to give him some space, but I wouldn’t. So he started to drink a lot again and went to parties and dated with many girls and got one night stands for fun. When I found out that, I cursed him like hell. But we had reconciled for a while, it was about weeks. Then, I started to afraid to lose him forever. Then, I started to show my desperation and pleaded him not to leave me. he said he won’t . but I called him at nights and like checking if he is drinking with frds or chics. Then, seemed like he was annoyed a lot and then. He urged to break up. But shortly after that, about one weeks or one month, he got a new girlfriend. he went trips with her. He posted couple together with her and he brought her his home to meet with his parents. I went so crazy. I begged him and asked to come back to me which he denied and he was like he considers me just as a friend. So it has been 7 mnths that we broke up and it has been 6 mnths he dates with the new gal. What should I do? I am so scared that the new girl may become a serious thing, not a rebound anymore. I tried No contact rule, but it didn’t work. but I think after that I had failed them coz I was so frenzy and I showed him my desperation whenever I saw him together with her and heard him with her from my mutual friends.
pls help me, do I still have a hope or chance to get back together with him or is it the end? pls pls pls help me
Chris Seiter
April 11, 2018 at 4:42 am
Hi May! No one can be sure of the future. But my sense is you should focus on your own healing and not count on him to be there for you. You have so many wonderful things ahead of you and while it may not feel this way to you right now, your long term happiness is not dependent on him.
Queen
April 6, 2018 at 6:12 pm
My bf used to date this girl and he said she’s just a friend but I always knew it was more than that after coming to a serious condition I asked him to leave her instead he left me what do I do
Jennifer Seiter
April 7, 2018 at 2:56 am
That’s a great question, you will have to start with no contact. Let him feel the loss of you not being in his life. I’d recommend 30-45 days no contact depending on the details of your relationship. When you start talking again try to act the opposite of controlling. Show him you have your own life.
Queen
April 10, 2018 at 1:44 pm
Thanks a lot
Jennifer Seiter
April 10, 2018 at 6:41 pm
Your welcome. <3 Were here for you anytime you need us!
Natasha
April 4, 2018 at 12:19 pm
Hi , My Ex boyfriend and i dated for 8 years. He has cheated on me before and i forgave him and we worked things out. We recently broke up again. And in three weeks i find out he started dating a new girl. What do i do in this situation ?
Chris Seiter
April 5, 2018 at 11:02 pm
Ok, I have found the biggest and baddest strategy when it comes to your situation is the being there method. Do you know what that is?
Michaela Lim
April 4, 2018 at 8:34 am
My ex boyfriend and I dated for a year and a half and broke up about 2 months ago. He came over one Sunday and I was on his phone and saw he added this girl on snapchat but logged out because he didn’t want me seeing that he added her. A few days prior to this I had told him how I had a gut feeling he liked her and he assured me he didn’t like her and I didn’t need to worry. After that sunday we got into an argument over it and he told me we needed a break the next day, and i told him i didn’t want to take one because his birthday and our annaversary was in 2 days so he just broke up with me instead. He tried getting with a girl he dated briefly in the past but she turned him down, so he came back to me saying he wanted me back and he missed me and all he truly wanted was just a break. I gave in and we had sex and this only lasted a couple of days maybe like 3 then he was onto the next girl. He’s been texting the girl he added on snapchat but she friend zoned him, so he didn’t think he had a chance and kept me around still. She started to get closer as they texted everyday and now has feelings for him, they pretty much hangout everyday now and he hasn’t spoken or texted me for 2 weeks. I’m trying to do NC, i’m on week 2. I just really want him back we had a great relationship but I don’t know if he’s happier with her or if he even misses me at all.
Chris Seiter
April 5, 2018 at 10:58 pm
Two words for you here…
BEING THERE!
The being there method is the premier strategy for your situation.
God, I wish you were at the webinar yesterday. Anna (another coach) and I talked about this A LOT!
Michaela
April 7, 2018 at 12:08 pm
Should I still finish my no contact period before I start the being there method?
Chris Seiter
April 7, 2018 at 9:50 pm
Yep you definitely need to.