How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend To Speak To You- Get Him Talking Again

1,518 thoughts on “Making Your Ex Boyfriend Speak To You Again”

Piper L

December 26, 2013 at 11:34 pm

To cut to the point, my ex bf broke up with me about a month ago and we never had any real problems except communicating like misunderstandings but only about 4 times (super minor btw), it seriously was all love and amazing. His mom pretty much influenced his decision on breaking up with me. The last time I have to talked to him was on Friday about a week ago. He completely cut me off and shut me out of his life :/ and the previous day before he did that he told me he still liked me.. now I know that if he doesn’t talk to me for a while his feelings will continue to diminish. What we had was real and special , it was great. I want to get a hold of him but I can’t and I know I shouldn’t yet either… do you think he’s going to try and reach out to me or just continue with his life, move on and start a new chapter?

admin

December 27, 2013 at 7:16 pm

Why did the mom not like you?

Have you done NC yet?
Piper L

January 4, 2014 at 8:15 am

Well I think it was cause he’s the only child “mommas boy” and I have a feeling she felt threatened that I was taking him away from her. Strange because she never talked to me about having a problem with me or anything if anything it seemed like she really liked me but I could totally tell it was due to him spending more time with me. Yeah I’m on nc right now.

tanya

December 26, 2013 at 7:19 pm

Good evening

i just found ur website and i really neef help. ive been with this guy for almost two years. he has always been honest with me since the beginning. wr met on the weirdest off circumstances but we knew we were soulmates. he has always been completely open, so i was in a relationship with a older guy first and he has someone else but only cause off money cause he grew up poor and i tried to understand. we fell inlove more and more but i broke hes heart cause i told him i broke contact with my now ex but i didnt and i lied to him and he found out the truth. we were together as much as we could be and i knew he really did love me and now im just not sure. he said i lost him two months ago but he still kept me as a contact on whatsapp. i got angry and accused him off using me and being a player and before that i asked for him to come over and after every answer i gave he kept asking why should he? no answer was good enough. i got so angry that he was ignoring me and then suddenly he blocked my number. i have another nr which he didnt block and i cracked at him completely but he just switched hes phone off but didnt block that number off mine why? even my sisters and moms number he didnt block. hes phone has been off for a week now but i know hes overseas with hes “gf” and the family. He has another nr which he asked me not to contact him on because they monitore the phone cause its a work cellphone. its hard to see him online but i cant message. on facebook photos hes looking horrible he parties now and drinks and smokes and i know its not who he is. hell only be back after new year and i have no idea what to do. he was prepared to give everything he wanted to get married but i broke hes heart too much. i love him i do its horrible and im tired iff crying. i dont care about looking after myself, how can i get him back i know its difficult and its confusing, but i know hes the one hes just extremely stubborn and more emotional than a girl. please help?

admin

December 27, 2013 at 6:56 pm

What do you mean you don’t care about looking after yourself? That is not the right attitude.

Rose

December 26, 2013 at 5:42 am

Hi Chris,

I just found your website and see lots of useful info for the woman like me. Sorry if my English is not perfect because I am not an English person.

I am a hard working woman, used to have 2 boyfriends in the pass but you know that good work, good money and clever women usually don’t care much about man. Till time pass, I feel that I want someone whom I can live with him till the end of my life.

I met a man online who is 20 years older than me, he is very good. We talk via Skype for about 2 weeks then we agree to be a lover. He plan to visit me next year. Then the bad things happened because of me. On December 15, 2013 I was waiting for his message via one online chat. I saw he’s online but he didn’t answer my message. So I thought he was chatting with other woman, now you can imagine what happen. 🙁

The last message I sent him was to stop to be his girlfriend. I can see that he read every message from me but never reply anything. 3 days later, I start feeling very wrong and I realize that I did a big wrong thing. So, I sent him message again for apologize and tell him that I love him at first sight. No reply from him. I send him message everyday December 18, 2013 till December 23, 2013. 2 messages per day, in the morning and in the night. Then December 24 I sent him 1 message wishing him a Merry Christmas. But he still silence. At last yesterday, December 25 I sent him 1 message wishing him a Merry Christmas and my sexy photo from the gym. Still got no reply from him.

Now my question is, will your NC rule work with my case? I know I did very wrong. I don’t understand myself why I did that. Usually I am very good at controlling myself for every situation but at that date I don’t know why I let jealousy control me. Or all are too late and I should move on?
Today, I didn’t text him anything yet. No more hope to be in relationship with him but I want him to know that I am truly sorry for the things I did.

Any advise would be really appreciated. Thank you very much.

Best regards,
Rose

admin

December 26, 2013 at 6:24 pm

I think it can work in your case sure.
Rose

December 31, 2013 at 5:31 pm

Hi Chris,

I broke the NC today because it’s new year and I send him just normal blessing, no emotion, no thing. But got no reply. This make me wondering. When you angry someone, can you also ignore blessing message on special occasion like new year? Is this mean we cannot even be friend? What would you suggest? Thank you and Happy New Year!

Rose

December 26, 2013 at 4:29 am

Chris,
I just sent you the message can you please answer. Waiting your reply. Thank you very much!

admin

December 26, 2013 at 6:23 pm

Where did you send it?
Rose

December 27, 2013 at 3:12 am

Hi Chris,

Thank you so much for your answer. No worry about email because I know you are busy. I already got your answer above. You have all helpful info here that I must read as well as your eBook.
Thank you again and wishes you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! 😉

Anon

December 26, 2013 at 2:51 am

me and my ex had a a lot of fights and arguments he eventually told me the relationship was on ‘hold’ and he needed time…i gave him a week he was sweet but i was cold and said i didn’t want to wait around, the same night we happened to be in the same place and i regretted what i did because when i contacted him again he said the same thing – wants space…and not a relationship at the moment…he also told me he needs time but if i don’t want to wait then its my choice…im not sure what he means…his friends tried to add me on Facebook all of a sudden :S…he hasn’t initiated any contact with me..i am in NC but its his birthday soon..should i wish him..?

Anon

December 26, 2013 at 2:53 am

he always replies to me when i contact him (which i rarely do)…but i asked to see him he didn’t reply…:S
admin

December 26, 2013 at 6:20 pm

Take a step back for a while… Give him time.

Jacinta

December 25, 2013 at 7:16 pm

My situation is so confusing.
I was dating my ex boyfriend for a year and a half. He broke up with me because he wanted ‘freedom’
He would always say how he loves how attached I am because I am always there for him. When we broke up I’d constantly text and beg.
We started hanging out again, acting like a couple as if he never left.
He would tell me he sees us getting back together in the future and he doesn’t want to lose our ‘bond’ he would say he still has feelings for me but he just doesn’t want a relationship anymore.
then we got into an argument a week before this party. He blocked me on facebook and ignored me for the whole week, At the party he continued to ignore me as if I didn’t exist. When I tried talking to him he would tell me he doesn’t want anything to do with me. Then he got with a girl right in front of me. I don’t understand why he wouldn’t get with girls at clubs and he’d proudly tell me he hasn’t.. But as soon as I go to the same party as him he does?
He blocked me out of everything and I’m still constantly texting while he ignores every message.
He acts as if he hates me when I haven’t really done anything wrong to him..
I’ve never tried the no contact rule.. I’m starting to think its too late though.

admin

December 26, 2013 at 6:10 pm

No it is not too late.

fatii

December 24, 2013 at 8:04 pm

My bf and I didn’t talk for 11 days nw with no contact and after he accused me of cheating! He said sorry at night and left me crying and said Gn in Whatsapp and that was the last chat together! Plz I need to knw what I can do to make him talk 2 me again!?

admin

December 26, 2013 at 5:37 pm

Well, didn’t he accuse you of cheating? So, shouldn’t it be him begging to talk to you?

Alice

December 23, 2013 at 2:31 am

Hi Chris. I’ve read through your site and wanted to ask your opinion.

My ex boyfriend broke up with me over 2 months ago. In the first 2-3 weeks of the break up, I would send him maybe 1 email a week, but they were quite desperate, saying how much I loved him and wanted to work things out, etc. He kept asking me to leave him alone and he couldn’t bear to hear from me. I would wait a week in-between each email, on average. Then, after I’d done some thinking, I sent him a long email explaining how I was working on myself, seeing a change, and would hope he’d give me a chance. He replied with a very hostile email, telling me I was this and that, and to never contact him again. He said he’d blocked my email and phone, etc.

I didn’t reply at all, realising that he wasn’t going to respond to me this way. I then received an email a week later from him, a further dig at me, basically just one line. I also didn’t reply to that. I never contacted him and he never contacted me, bringing my total NC period to 28 days. I then sent him a brief, non-personal email asking him to post something he owed to me. He wrote back within 1 minute. I then replied with one line, being the last to email.

I then went 17 days with no contact, until I sent him a brief email saying that I received what he sent me and have a nice Christmas. I asked him whether he was seeing his favourite band who is touring soon and also mentioned I saw a dog in the park that reminded me of his dogs. I didn’t receive anything back. This was 4 days ago.

I’m just wondering what to do. Do I just need to go another 30 days without any contact and then write again? I feel like we’re not in the space where I can text him, because it’s all been email and I feel like it might cross the line. I’m a bit confused about what steps to take next.

admin

December 23, 2013 at 8:15 pm

Hmm… I hesitate to say a full 30 days…

Maybe 21 days. For some reason I think thatll be enough.
Alice

December 24, 2013 at 7:34 am

Ok, I’ll try that. Should I send a similar kind of email? Should I acknowledge the fact that he didn’t reply to this last one?
admin

December 24, 2013 at 7:30 pm

Na, don’t even mention that.

Sarah W

December 21, 2013 at 9:36 pm

I am really really sorry and you must be annoyed but somehow I cant see the response under my post ( maybe when the conver gets too long?):
Anyway I had done 30 days of NC and so my first contact day was on the 9th of dec. Unfortunately he didnt respond to the first contact message. Here you say in that case you should wait 15 more days. For me that would be on the 24th of dec. Do you think its wise to try talking again on that day or should I wait till after New Years? ( We had a good relationship and no real fights so he shouldnt think too negative of me)…
Mickayla Cox

December 20, 2013 at 4:06 pm

Hi, Im Mickayla and I found this website very helpful and interesting to read. I’m trying to get my ex back. We first met at a campground he hung out with my younger brother I found him very attractive and I saw him again in Walmart and My uncles gf now ex Knows his dad so they talked and her kids were relatived to him(cousins)My brother and I stayed the night at his house which was awkward for me. It was the first time I ever stayed the night at a guys house. He lived really close to us so I could always go to his house if I wanted to but I didn’t. The first night I stayed at his house all we did was stare at each other like we wanted to kiss but we didn’t know we liked each other. The next couple days he came to my house and I was flirting with him becasue I like him and would never think of a guy like him to like me. After a while I decided to go in the house and watch tv. My brother came in my room and said Bryant(the guy) likes you I didn’t belive him so i went out and My brother said “bryant!” “she doesn’t belive me that you like her!” he replied “that’s her lost” Another time I went to his house with my brother and we played Block ops which he didn’t know I had experience playing that game so he thought I was really good I stole his number off his phone and I texted him we talked, conversations went well. we would talk on the phone too. He asked me out which I said no. Little did I know he older cousin told him that if he keeps asking me out then I would say yes he asked me out 19 times after a while Im like i guess All try this it went while I got nervous a lot thou. We dated for 5 months I would sneak out sometimes at night thou to be with him bc My parents didn’t like me having a bf he moved and then we dated on and off and we dated one last time in the summer and ever since that we haven’t dated he dated other girls but there relationships didn’t last as long as ours did. When we first broke up I begged for his attention which was wrong I recently did the NC thing and I don’t know how its going its hard but Im getting threw it. I only motivation is why write him if he is going to ignore me. So I’m giving it time, and Im trying to be able to hang out with him in the summer but i want to become friends with him by being friendly and slowly warming up to him again so he thinks I want nothing else. He told one of his friends that he used to like me thou so I don’t know what to do. I don’t think he cares anymore either,but I know guys bottle up their feelings Im just so lost and confused right now I really need some good advice and My friends only give me little advice but they don’t understand. I feel like its done for good but then I feel like their is still hope. I was almost his first real love and he blocked me on fb bc we got in a fight awhile ago but thats was a long time ago Im just trying to be friends with him but I don’t think he would want to be. I don’t see why not thou we didn’t break up over cheating or lying it was bc we couldn’t see eachother a lot or at least in his case. But I like long distance realationsips I feel like Its cuter when you respect and charish the time you spend more I just don’t want to give up and be completely done with him and I want him back but I want to become friends first.

admin

December 21, 2013 at 3:52 am

Hi Mickayla,

Have you read my guide on a long distance relationship?

Jordyn

December 19, 2013 at 9:08 pm

Boyfriend broke up with my yesterday because he wants to be alone and move states away in about a year.

Everything was going really great. Not just for me but both of us were happy. He always texted me first, made sure his schedule was clear when I was available, talked about the future a lot, he has showed me he loved me, etc.

He has done this before once because he wanted space to figure out everything on what he wants and to do with his life. He was very depressed and feeling down. When he is like this he instantly drops everything and doesn’t care. We got back together 2 weeks later. Which makes me feel like he still didn’t figure it all out yet and still needed space.

I feel like he is doing this all over again. He said he doesn’t want to talk to me anymore and to please stop texting him. He said he is moving far far away and that he wants to be alone and left alone. I told him I was here for him and that I will give him all the space he needs.

What I am wondering mostly is, do you think he doesn’t mean it and is acting on impulse like before? Do you think he will come back to me? Or is he forever done with me?

Don’t say that there is another girl on the side or anything like that because I already know there isn’t since he only had one other girlfriend 3 years ago and had no desire to be with anyone until he met me.

admin

December 21, 2013 at 3:15 am

It isn’t always black and white for him coming back or not.

I would say that if you study his actions what are they saying? Take words out of the equation for a moment.

Demares

December 19, 2013 at 3:26 pm

Hi! I will be using the tactics that you have provided. My situation is we have been only dating for two months and I felt that he was seeing someone else so I went to his house and banged on his door. I have apologized and he says we are done he thinks I’m crazy but I’m not I know what I did was way out of my character.As a man do you honestly think I still have a chance? That is with using the NC rule? FYI I haven’t contacted him since I have apologized and asked him to forgive me. Of course he didn’t reply tho.

admin

December 19, 2013 at 7:50 pm

How long have you been in NC?
Demares

December 20, 2013 at 2:54 pm

3 days and his birthday is christmas eve!!!
Demares

December 19, 2013 at 7:57 pm

2days

carrie

December 18, 2013 at 6:07 am

Me and my ex broke up back in sept after 9 months together and living together. We were truly best friends and crazy about each other. We got into really bad fights but always made up. We couldn’t see each other with any one else but now we are apart after our last major fight and it’s so hard not too want to message him on Facebook
Tamara

December 14, 2013 at 6:49 am

I met this guy online and then he feel in love with me and told me when he’s here he’s gonna ask me out but then he asked out this other girl so we became friends but one day he told me we shouldn’t be friends because it’s to hard to be with me because he has a gf and he loves me to much to hurt me again and then he told me we should forget about each other and move on. I’ve messaged him a couple of times but he hasn’t replied what should I do??

admin

December 14, 2013 at 10:30 pm

How long did you date him?

Sirine

December 11, 2013 at 2:33 pm

hello,

I posted on here before but I can’t find it anymore so here I go again..
My ex and I broke up 6months ago. His reason for breaking up was that he needs to focus on his career and that he’s too young for a long term commitment and has too much to see and learn.. i had a hard time accepting the break up so I kept asking for him back and after 3weeks he said that this is the last time he’ll ever speak to me and blocked me everywhere.
I contacted him about a month ago to ask if he could post me (we were in a long distance relationship) my phone back because I need it for travelling and he said it got stolen. I never replied back.
Then about a week ago I needed to contact him because he’s the account holder of my mobile phone line and I needed the security code to access the account. it went very well he didn’t give it to me right away, made convo, asked me about uni, friends, what I decided to do after uni etc. then when he finally gave it to me after implying that I dont really need it and that I am just using it as an excuse to talk to him. he then joked about , recommended a song to brighten my day. Then I get a drunk dirty text message from him at 4:30am.. he apologises in the morning saying it was autocorrect (no way it was) then blames it on one of his friends (no way either was too personal) i just say okay 😉 and his texts now are between flirty and normal. so hot and cold. i’m so confused. do we have a chance of getting back together? or is he just playing? and how do I move from here and get us to meet up? (which i think is crucial for us getting back together because of our chemistry)

Thank you!!!!

admin

December 12, 2013 at 1:50 am

I think there is a chance but you have to do what this site says to maximize that chance.
Sirine

December 15, 2013 at 9:38 pm

Thank for replying 🙂 He obviously is still interested in me.. he’s been texting me everyday but he’s definitely playing games as well. I was wondering if you have any ideas on how I can get him to come visit me? I am quiet scared of sounding needy or pushy if I just put it out there..
admin

December 16, 2013 at 6:24 pm

Usually its best if he comes up with that idea so what you can try to do is make him feel like he has no choice but to see you.
Sirine

December 20, 2013 at 3:45 am

he has just suggested that we become friends with benefits nothing more.. i want him back so badly i am considering it. i know i am not ready to be in a relationship again right now even with him and i’m thinking that this is the only way for us to start seeing each other again since were in a long distance relationship.. and that’s the way we started anyway..

Sarah W

December 10, 2013 at 12:46 am

I am really sorry for bothering you :/. I was just wondering when my ex broke up with me he said he doesnt see us working out in the long term. Do you still think there is a chance ( as like the reaction I will never want to talk to you again) or that he might never change his mind? ( I know he is an individual and its hard to say). I have done NC and contacted him yesterday but no reply, so I am going to do another 15 days. Somehow I am not sure that will help though.. We had a good break up and it was going well before, even talking about the future ( its a long distance relationship).
Best Regards
Sarah

admin

December 10, 2013 at 7:03 pm

You aren’t bothering me.

I defintely think there is a chance. Probably a better one than most.
Sarah W

December 11, 2013 at 2:07 am

Aww cheers. How do you actually manage private life and this? It must be really difficult xD.
I do hope so but I think he’s going to be stubborn for a long time. He said right after its best we dont talk for a while until we re ok :/. I guess for me its NC time again. Since the 15 days will be over on the 23rd of dec is it ok if I just ask if hes ok and wish a merry christmas? Or should I use a text example?
Thank you very much and I appreciate your help :).
I hope you re having a good december 🙂
admin

December 12, 2013 at 1:36 am

The key is to seperate the two and lately I have had to say no to a lot of people online because if I just help everyone out it takes a toll on me mentally.

I think you should use one but you can run one by me if you want.
Sarah W

December 12, 2013 at 10:01 pm

Yeah I can imagine that. I am guessing this month is really hard anyway cause of all the holidays and stuff ( ppl are usually more down).
Anyway hope you’ll have a good holiday and enjoy spending time with your family, friends and maybe significant other ;). I guess I am going to say Merry Christmas already :).
admin

December 13, 2013 at 7:13 pm

Merry Christmas!
Sarah W

December 16, 2013 at 10:42 pm

hmm something came up. My flatmate got her baby girl today and me and my ex talked a lot about her and the situation. Do you think its ok to tell him about it using a guess what text and saying merry christmas ( then ignoring him for another month unless he says something) or do you think I should wait until the 15 days are over.? I contacted him a week ago with no success
admin

December 17, 2013 at 6:40 pm

If you are in NC I wouldn’t..
Sarah W

December 16, 2013 at 11:29 pm

Sorry nvm I am going to stick to the 15 day plan. I ll combine it with a meme to make it light and just quickly wish good festive days. Sorry again. Sometimes its so hard to know what to do xD esp when the heart doesnt want to play along with the mind xD

Keisha

December 9, 2013 at 6:26 am

I have this ex boyfriend that I dated back in March . He was so obsessed with me But I never gave him the chance cause I had already been in a relationship at the time. After March , when we were broken up I would still go to his house & chill. But once my boyfriend found out he was upset. Then I stopped talking to my ex to continue my relationship with the other guy. More months went by and once in a while I try to hit him up but he doesn’t respond . I don’t know what to do because I already been not talked to him really in months so idk what the silent treatment would be good for …I just wanna make it right with him & fix it

admin

December 9, 2013 at 7:30 pm

Have you implemented the nc yet?
Keisha

December 9, 2013 at 6:28 am

& btw it’s so hard because I see him at every party basically every weekend and it’s like he pretends I don’t exist

cath

December 7, 2013 at 7:49 pm

well i did no contact for a few days and woke up to a random msg saying he was sorry for being a pig and that he loves me now we are really getting on well… happy happy cath xxx

admin

December 8, 2013 at 6:36 pm

That is nice! So, you broke NC after that?
cath

December 9, 2013 at 8:35 pm

we are getting along but i do not message until i hear off him… gotta stand my ground and make him chase… xxx

Sara

December 7, 2013 at 6:23 pm

I went 30 days NC, during which for 2.5 weeks he liked *everything* I did on facebook, messaged me sometimes, etc. After I started posting photos with new friends he stopped liking my stuff. My ex was responding neutral or positive for several weeks after NC. I tried the confession text one day and in the time period I waited he texted/called frantically. When I responded back, he ignored me. He didn’t respond to a couple texts a few days later. I waited a couple weeks, posted on his fb page happy birthday, and he liked it, but that’s about it. (He liked mostly everyone else’s too.) Any insight? Where do I go from here? 🙂 (I know he’s been stalking my blog, if that helps.) Thank you.
Anon

December 6, 2013 at 1:52 am

So I have to see my ex everyday because of school. I barely talk to him at school anymore, and for the past two weeks I haven’t talked to him. He is tied up in another girl, who has rejected him but still wants to be his friend so she hasn’t really pushed him away. He doesn’t really talk/look at me at all. He always tries to stare/talk/touch the other girl.

He and I usually talk “around” each other–for example, if he was in a conversation with a mutual friend, I will contribute to the conversation but only address/look at the mutual friend while ignoring my ex. (This goes back and forth between us).

How do I get out of this awkward rut? (And how do I get him to want to talk to me, not the other girl?)

admin

December 6, 2013 at 7:51 pm

Become less reliant on him.
Anon

December 7, 2013 at 12:22 am

I’m not sure what you mean.
admin

December 7, 2013 at 7:45 pm

What is confusing you.
Anon

December 7, 2013 at 9:31 pm

I don’t know how I am being reliant, we both do it to each other. And I don’t need him to start conversations for me to be able to speak to my friends. It just ends up that we get into each other’s conversations but ignore each other.

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1,518 thoughts on “Making Your Ex Boyfriend Speak To You Again”