Popular posts
The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
Recent posts
What Happens When A Narcissist Collapses?
How Do Avoidants Sabotage A Relationship?
Dismissive Avoidants And The No Contact Rule
The Power Of Silence After Rejection
Why Are Dismissive Avoidants Cruel?
The #1 Reason A Man Suddenly Commits
How Long Does Avoidant Deactivation Last?
How To Let Go Of An Avoidant Partner
How Do Avoidants Create Distance?
What Is An Avoidants Biggest Fear?
Post categories
alex
September 28, 2016 at 2:31 am
Hi,
I have boyfriend for a year.
Last night I was too annoyed with him because I felt that there’s something wrong with him, i can confirm it, below is our scenario last night but before that i want to share our status before. (a couple of months ago before when we are together his phone is always with me, but since we came back from our own different holiday everything change. )
here’s our scenario last night
-last night we went to park for a date, but before that we went in his house have some rest he didnt surrender his phone to me and he is busy using his phone likewise mine but he always asking me what’s my message all about (we have different nationality) while i notice in him that he always cover his phone in everytime he texted and he put password on his phone. then he left his phone charging,
-we’re not friends on facebook and I caught him using facebook that he denied before that he is using it.
– when we came back to his place he got his phone in his room run quickly outside of house and he talked with someone else inside car, (if he didnt hide anything, why he should do that?”
-another scenario was were sitting in the sofa watching tv as our quality time i am using my phone for important matters because he’s watching tv, he hide his phone in his side which abnormal in him because he dont use to do that before, then he wants to have sex last night but i got annoyed so i refused him, then he said, Im going to drop you home, but i said, we can have quality time together without sex right? then he said, turn of the light, im going to sleep, you may leave and wait for your friend out of this house…
i put my pride off and I said sorry for last night. what should i do? do i have to continue? should I go or stay?
Alex
September 29, 2016 at 10:42 pm
Hi Amor,
in everytime that we’re together he normally gave his phone to me because he wants me to feel that no destruction every quality time.. then last tuesday, it happened that he keeps his phone, with password and when he used to text someone else he covered his phone..
what should i do?
I love him so much, then I put a letter in his table i wrote all of the pain, im not sure if he reads it, but he dont response to my message when i texted him last night.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 1, 2016 at 1:06 pm
Ok, then it’s better to start the no contact rule now.. If he’s hiding something or cheating with you, don’t attack him. Start no contact and just focus in improving yourself. I think you should do at least 30 days.
alex
September 29, 2016 at 9:39 pm
Hi Amor,
in everytime that we’re together he normally gave his phone to me because he wants me to feel that no destruction every quality time.. then last tuesday, it happened that he keeps his phone, with password and when he used to text someone else he covered his phone..
what should i do?
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 29, 2016 at 6:00 am
Hi Alex,
yeah it looks like he’s hiding something but why do you always have his phone? It looka like your relationship has trust issues
Nina
September 24, 2016 at 4:26 pm
Hi,
I had a “non-relationship” with a guy, for 9 months. Some weeks ago he told me we couldn’t go on like this, he said we had to decide whether have a relationship, or break up. I wanted the relationship but he wasn’t sure and wanted time to think, because he was hurt in the past, and was afraid of commitment. We argued a lot, because he wanted to meet up as if nothing happened, but I was hurt and couldn’t do it. But I couldn’t leave at all, because I love him, and I know he suffers from anxiety and takes antidepressants, so I decided to give him time. Somedays he would tell me he loved me and wanted to be with me, another day he would say that he wasn’t fair to me, and that it should end… But I told him that I would wait for him to decide.
The problem came the other day, as he saw me at a bar with another guy (just talking). He was annoyed and told me he was totally sure he didn’t want anything with me. I got angry too, because I didn’t do anything with that guy, and I told him he was just playing with me. Then he got veeeery angry, and disappointed with me, because of the things I said to him…
All my friends say he’s a jerk, and that I shouldn’t wait for him. But he’s the first guy I really love, and it is so difficult… I just wanted him to be happy and believe him when he said he loved me, but now I feel as if I ruined it all. I want him back, but as a real boyfriend, and happy with me. Is it even possible? Or should I move on? Thank you
Nina
September 25, 2016 at 9:58 am
I told him I wanted something more, a relationship, but he wasn’t sure about what he wanted. I don’t understand why did he bring out that if he didn’t know what he wanted… I understand that he has been alone for a long time, and hurt in the past, that’s why when we started seeing eachother, he told me he didn’t want a relationship. He says he has feelings for me, but that there are things about me, like my insecurity, that make him doubt about having a relationship.
We haven’t spoken yet, and I am afraid that he might meet someone else when he goes out, or just see that he is better without me… Anyway, if he doesn’t say anything, I’ll wait at least a week to talk to him as you say.
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 25, 2016 at 3:29 pm
If it doesn’t work.. Try doing no contact and read this one: The Ungettable Girl
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 25, 2016 at 8:57 am
Hi Nina,
you said you talked a few weeks ago and he opened being either really together or breaking up, what did you answer to that? Let him cool off for now. Since you already said you’re not with that guy, that’s enough. Let him cool off for a week or a little more and then talk again.
Beka
September 23, 2016 at 10:42 pm
Hi, We’ve been together with my boyfriend for 10months. Most of the time we have been happy.. But there were moments when I’ve been upset not knowing where we are heading. Ive asked in the Past what his Internations is, what lerem we are headed.. He always stars silent.. Obcecasses if he santa to get mareies and have Kids one day he has said yes. When the right time comes. I have been getting really anxious, especially when we were on a trip in a romântic Island recently everything was fine, until one day I saw everyone around who were engaged and having romantic dinners, weddings, etc, and we were just having a normal dinner.. I shut down and was silent, he hates when I’m silent and when he asked I just said everything is fine. He got angry at me I could see, but then I talked and told him why I’m upset.. We made up. He said we would talk when we get back home from vacation. I said ok. We came back, I kept wondering when we talk, then came my birthday. On my birthday morning he woke up earlier, made coffee, gluten free muffin with decorated raspberries and whipped cream. I got super happy. Then there was a card, and a bag of gifts, a sweater and a bag with prints of 2 legs hanging on the sides- first I thought it was a hoodie but it was a bag not from Ralph Lauren but wrapped in Ralph Lauren box. I got super upset and showed it. I was expecting something a bit more sophisticated or something I don’t have ..like a heart shaped necklace or something. And the bag – I was really confused with. In the afternoon we both cried- he cried because I was not happy with gift, I cried because I was disappointed. We had some arguments, I asked why is he with me even when I’m so terrible mean and may be we should just stop it all .. At the end he said he loved me and he doesn’t wanna let me go.
Again, after that he sent me a text that he is worried about us and how upset he is with the my birthday happening… and may be I’m right may be love is not all it takes, and may be we should it continue.. He asked we should talk.. I was first sad then got mad and told him if he wants to break he should do it now, I don’t wanna talk.. Will only talk if he wants to figure things out. I ended up breaking up with him over what’s app. Which I didn’t mean. I cried all night, so did he it sounded. The next morning I realized how much I love and care about him, and told I take it back and will do anything and we should work things out. He was still upset, wouldn’t kiss me, just hugs.
We ended up taking a break, during that time his close friend got tumor, then a serious brain surgery…. I went to take couple of things from his apartment, then he started telling me he feels that it’s unfair I have to wait for him, and we have to take this break. He said he feels confused and at the moment it feels like not continuing is best. I tried to convince otherwise, that we should try and work on us, on communication and I will wait. He insisted, I agreed, then got mad, I told him he doesn’t love me then if he is not willing to try. I took all of my things away, he helped to get all my stuff in bags, I left. I said thank you over txt for not dragging. Wished him well. And told that I got the answer I’ve been asking for, not what I wanted but everything is clear now. I said good bye.
I deleted him from FB and LinkedIn, I have him on what’s app still. It’s his birthday today. I was planning surprises, but not sure if I should text him or not now. I’m worried for him, and his friend. And what a terrible timing. I want him back. I feel like he hates me… What to do? Advise? ;(
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 24, 2016 at 4:33 pm
Hi Beka,
I think it’s too early to ask for marriage. You’re just 10 months in. And also, and with the gift.. I understand you were expecting more but for him it felt like you didn’t appreciate his efforts.
I’m not sure but it looks like you have this conditions on how you would guage if he loves you and expectations from him and he keeps disappointing you but in his mind, he probably thinks you’re being demanding. But I think you’re just not communicating what you really want in the right way.Just talk to him heart to heart. He can’t read your mind so, he won’t know how to make you feel loved or special.
I think you should talk first but if he’s not willing, then understand him and start no contact so, you can both heal first before rebuilding rapport
Right now,
Lou
September 12, 2016 at 10:29 pm
Hi! So, this is my second time here on Ex Boyfriend recovery and the first time I had a really great plan to get my ex back. So, the thing now is that me and him had a massive fight because I talked sh*t about him with a common friend when I was really angry and upset, and when he got to know that (I guess the other guy was not a real friend hah) he broke up with me and told me he would have never forgiven me (he eventually told me about a lot of old fights too, and I said sorry for them too). So I begged for him to come back to me, said sorry and everything and I got blocked on IM services (but I haven’t been blocked on Facebook and Instagram, where he just unfollowed me) since I became a text gnat. The last messages I wrote (with no answer) are about me saying sorry and hoping for him to talk to me when he felt to. He saw them, but I got ignored.
Is it too late? What should I do now?? I desperately need your help!
Lou
September 16, 2016 at 1:04 am
edit: blocked from Telegram and Instagram again for adding something to what I said before. Grew tired of him and sent him a text message letting him guess that he truly let me down and I don’t accept being treated like that and that he won’t hear from me ever again ’till he’s going to make the next move. He called me, I declined the call, he texted me telling I ruined his evening and that he doesn’t want to hear from me. I didn’t answer and then after a while he came with another message telling me to disappear, even tho I didn’t answer.
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 18, 2016 at 9:42 am
Ok, stick to no contact now
Lou
September 14, 2016 at 11:32 pm
Hi Amor, thank you so much for your reply!
So, at first I engaged in nc rule and he came back to me, not properly begging but he did wanted me. But now things have got a little bit different, he broke up with me because of me “ruining his name” and so on,he didn’t expect me to do it and he feels betrayed (even though he is capable of being so mean when we fight,that’s why I got very angry and decided to make the Big Big Mistake). Even though I promised that I’ve changed and that it won’t happen again, it seems like he doesn’t listen to me. The last time we spoke I promised not to contact him ever again so that I could let him think about all the situation (and he said the usual mean stuff he normally says, that he doesn’t want to see me/hear from me/stuff but replied with an ‘ok’ when I asked him to do so). What should I do now?
I already feel sad and overwhelmed, I don’t know what to do. 🙁
ps: he keeps blocking and unblocking me on SM at eveey conversation we have! At least today he unblocked me on Telegram, where we spoke the last time 🙁
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 14, 2016 at 3:12 pm
Hi Lou,
you said you have a plan, what is it?
rose
September 1, 2016 at 11:52 am
rose
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 1, 2016 at 2:57 pm
Jack?lol
shybeing9673
July 23, 2016 at 9:03 am
hi my boyfriend walked into my life and started loving me like crazy and when he came to know about my past he doesnt want to be with me anymore how do i change that? he is too angry to believe or understand anything at all. he thinks m the same person in my past but i am clearly not, i need serious help
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 23, 2016 at 2:09 pm
Hi shybeing9673,
how long have you been together?
Chami
July 21, 2016 at 7:11 pm
Hi im 24 years and my boyfriend also same age as me..we are dated for six 6 years ..our parents also happy about us.he even had plans with me about our marrage..but recently he had some matters with his career and i think it affected him so badly.so he lost his job and waiting at home until finds another one.i try to comfort him and he also spent lot of his time with me..once he said he cant live without me.he wants to spend evry day of his life with me.he saud we both can have achieve eerything in our life…
i dont know y but now a days he seems very different .. before he wants me a lot but not now.before he hated facebook but now he looks like addicted to it ..he has 1000 friends in his list but not me.he refused to add me ..he doesn’t want to show me..once i asked him this and he said i dont want to post our photos to d world. we r not married yet.i’ll think it later .Can you believe ?? He said he nevr let any man to have me..but now he reconsider about my marrage..when we started our love before six years he posted our fisrt date pictures in fb …but now he try to hides me..but i always posted our pics in my wall ..may be that’s y he doesn’t want me in his list now …
He has some chats with nice girls but when i asked this he said i didnt addict to fb i just go and posted things,just to spending time and thats all when i asked about that girls he told me its just hi chats y you suspect me..everytime i begged him to take me to the list but he lied to me..or ignored.i can clearly see there is something more.i think he have strong relationships with those fb pretty girls.i can see it from their posts, comments..otherwise he always with me, say everything to me .now he acts werid. allways in fb ..He enjoyed life without me …when we argued ,these day he never called back .he can spent so many nights without me..he doesn’t want me like before.when im crying he laughed and say oh cry girl..ok fine cry then i have my works to do.or most of time he switced off d phone…
Belive me that is not him …a guy asked me for out one day.i told this but he didint respond ..he told me dont talk to him thats all.but before he got very angry and jelous if a guy even saty next to me..he always suspect me.but now i think bcz of my needy way he knows that i cant live without him even how much i try to pretend strong ..he know my weakness is him..he doesn’t feel pity for me he enjoyed my madness.this hurts me a lot.he doesn’t care about me now..
next week is my convocation when i asked him to come (i told him about convocation during the argument )he said to me that he have to go for a new job today so he cant come.but its a lie his mom told me he passed d interview but not yet gone for a work.believe me he never lied to me before.he always said we must act honest no lies between us.. even not for joke.but now he say lies to me every time..so we had some arguments about this . he said im over thinker and misunderstanding him so he hates me lot..then i apologize him i asked him that i can forgot all things lets start over again…but he blamed me ..no response for it..
Then i asked
r u all mine.I love u so much..no one can take you away from me ,U r mine right?? .. he didint reply soon he just said “mmm ” that’s all..after the argument he didnt answer my calls he said so many bad things to me.he said he hates me dont want to talk to me .we said pretty bad things to each other mostly he did ..
so now im applying no contact from today .i dont know what will happen .may be he will get close to those fb girls ..may be i’ll lost him or he ‘ll miss me.once he told a girl like me he never can find. He told me he is so lucky to have my love.he said i told to my friends im the luckiest guy in the world to have a girl like me. So may be oneday he reminds that love… one day he’ll miss me…
but next week do i have to invite him for the convocation again or just ignored him ..If it hurts him if i ignored him like that.. its good if he can come bcz i have my mother only..so he can fill the gap of my father in there.
But when i call to invite him it’ll break the no contact .what can i do for it…
Do you think he’ll miss me..i hope this will…
Chami
July 22, 2016 at 6:30 am
My convocation is on 3rd aug..it means after 13 days of no contact…when do i hv to call for the invitation ?..once i did this no contact just for three days and when i called him back he seems very angry he says now u call me? Y now… just stay like what you were before.dont talk to me.. what will happen if this become as his reply for the convocation invitation … i really wants him there ..
need a suggestion to make him want to attend to the convocation ..
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 22, 2016 at 5:17 pm
hi Chami,
if you really want the no contact to have a higher chance of helping you, don’t just stop talking to him.. mature and learn to have your own life.. treat this as a start to a new lifestyle…so after nc, you still need to continue those activities..
if you really want him to change, the change must start with you.. be independent..
so that starts with not inviting him convocation
Ify
July 17, 2016 at 9:09 pm
My ex boyfriend and i dated officially for three months though we were together for 12 months and prior to that we were best friends recently fight and i told him we should take a break for a while. After sometime I contacted him we were fine at first only for me for me to realize he when I said we take a break he thought i meant we should break up. I tried to explain it to him but he wouldn’t listen. I asked if we should leave it that way since he thought we were over and he said yes. It’s barely been a week since then and he keeps flirting openly on social media and tags different girls to his instagram pictures. He even goes on Twitter to talk about how he wants a girlfriend. Is he trying to make me jealous or has he moved on? will the nc make him come back?
Ify
July 22, 2016 at 7:48 pm
He texted me yesterday saying “Hey sexy” I ignored because of no contact (which was surprisingly easy for me) he then unfollowed me on Twitter. Though I find that amusing, does that mean he’s moving on or just acting up
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 23, 2016 at 9:48 am
nope he probably did that to counter you ignoring him
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 19, 2016 at 4:03 pm
Hi Ify,
we can’t guarantee that nc will get him back but it will help increase your chances.. and yes, it looks like he’s doing it to make you jealous
jane
June 27, 2016 at 5:47 pm
Hi, me and my bf dated for a little over a year and things have been really good. But we got into this huge fight over him and his friends. I never said it was a problem that he was going to hang out with them later on in the day after we went on our date. but he asked if I was okay, I said yes. cause I was trying to drop it and avoid a fight which is usually what he asks me to do. But on our way to our date he ignored me and refused to talk to me. When we finally arrived he still stayed silent and I didn’t say anything either . We were shopping and he was just following me around while being on his phone, so I asked if there was a problem and he said no. So eventually I grew tired of his attitude and asked if we could leave the mall, he was like okay. We got to the car and I finally told him what bothered me and that i was hurt that he didn’t tell me his plans and that bc he was ignoring me in the mall it felt like he didn’t want to spend time with me. He started yelling at me saying he obviously did bc he drove all the way to my house just to see me and then he got really mad and just stayed quiet and when I tried to touch his arm and talk to him he told me not to touch him so I stopped. We finally get back to my house and he stayed quiet and told me to leave and I asked him why he can’t just talk to me and fix our problems it’s a small issue that we can quickly resolve. then he got really angry and started yelling in my face telling me to leave his car and that I’m not making him happy at the moment cause I’m being annoying. Then he said leave my car in 5 seconds or I’m leaving you. I got scared so I left and went into my house. I didn’t contact him, but then he texted me an hour later saying he was done, and breaking up with me and that he is sorry for how things ended. and I still haven’t talked to him… I don’t know what to do?
Jane
July 4, 2016 at 10:30 am
It’s been a week and i thought by now he would’ve reached out to me, but he hasn’t he’s just been with his friends everyday he can. It sucks because he’s acting as though the past year meant nothing to him when I know that it did.
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 29, 2016 at 6:06 am
Hi Jane,
Let him cool off for now.. don’t contact him.. he probably expects you to do that..
Puja
June 26, 2016 at 6:30 am
Hello, I am in a relationship more than 2 years. last 1 yr we have fighting too much. We fighted regarding a very small reason. Then he stopped talking, but again and again i called him and tried to realize him that its his fault. Then he told me that why i am calling him and disturbing him. After that i told that if he doesn’t want to talk to me i will not contact. Since then he didnt contact me, its almost 2 weeks. Please suggest
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 28, 2016 at 12:24 pm
Hi PUja,
have you started active no contact?
saloni
June 10, 2016 at 11:06 am
Hi
I am having 2 year relationship with last one year long distance relationship. Whenever we fight my boyfriend said he will leave me and then again we back together .and always most of the time I am the one end up with sorry even it’s not my fault. He always have some weird topics to fight. Iast night we had a bad fight and I am the person who is not giving up easily . but I stop talk to him . then morning he tried to call so many time I didn’t answer his call . finally when I pick up his call he again continue with fight topic and end up with very bad fight . when he start abuse I cut the call . should I call him or text first ?
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 16, 2016 at 7:17 am
Hi Saloni,
nope you should start being in active no contact
Abigail
June 3, 2016 at 2:27 am
Hi, there is this guy that asked me out, I said yes because I have liked him for a while. We went to a dance together too. His ex was standing there when I was by him, and even dragged him away. Her friends kept pressuring me about it and I felt trapped. So I asked if we could take a break because I don’t like having pressure put on me. But it comes to this day that my friend was friends with him, he started dating another girl for a couple of days, his EX told my friend but when my friend tries defend herself he doesn’t believe her, him and his ex are pretty good friends. His ex started lying that she didn’t tell anybody (she wasn’t supposed to). I had to defend my friend because she is one of my best friends. I was hoping he and I could get back together before though. I ended up feeling terrible about texting him about his business that I shouldn’t of been in. So I apologized. Was it right? 🙁
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 12, 2016 at 9:51 am
Hi Abigail,
sorry I don’t understand what you’re defended herself from? did she defend herself because you confronted your ex about it and he got angry at her? and how are you now?
simran
March 24, 2016 at 10:03 am
hey chris, m an indian..n 18 yr old..i met him a year ago..all wz fy9 n gud btw us..as v grew up together during the most moody and challenging period as v were in grade 11 when v started dating and nw its tym me to leave the place as my high school is almost ovr .. jst waiting fr the results,.. the prob is… ever since he came to know that m leaving this place .. he has bcm a crack head its been 2 months that he knws this fact about my departure.. n gets irritated on me ..after every disagreement i make wth him.. the situation has bcm so worse that after evry 5 days of anormal relation there is a huge fight …then v both swear that v wont tlk to eacch odr fr a couple of days.. thankfully v make up the nxt day…its jst a matter of a phn cl… nw its only 10 days left fr me .. to shift to another place i guess wht v hd a huge fght… the reason is so confusing that there is no perfect reason fr our fght.. it started as i disagreed ovr one of his plans..and i dnt knw in wht mood he wz in.. he took it personally.. n said i alwz had sm prob wth him n my action r totally opposite to his expectation..n then he started to drag in the past issues of me tlking to 10 guys.. he ethink i still flirt wth them..bt thats nt true.. they r my childhood frndz i cnt simply leave them only cz i hv a over protective n over possessive boy friend.. nw both of us r hesitating tlking to each odr..n yes i wonna thank u fr gving me d amazing concept of NCR.. i tried it n succeed in it.. as i had to use it once…nw my que is..as m gng nw.. every1 is planning to b wth me nw..shld i still apply NCR…n 2nd que afte reading all the stuff above do u think i shld go fr an LDR if evrythng bcms normal soon… lyk he still cls me… its jst he needs smtym to think… i dnt knw wht.. he says he loves me ..wonna b wth me.. bt after this fght he needs tym to pause n think..cn u also help me as to wht i shld do nw..n mayb cn u tell me wht a guy really means as he says he wnts to b alone..wht the hell on this earth is he thinking about when its almost tym me to leave… plz help..its killing me..
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 1, 2016 at 5:11 pm
Hi Simran,
sorry for the late reply.. have you talked?
Shruti
March 19, 2016 at 10:20 am
Hi Chris. Me and my boyfriend are from India. Currently he is staying at Netherlands for 3 months now. We are in a relationship for 5 years. Before 10 days I got into a fight with him as we were not talking for 5 days because he was with his friends. That was okay fir me but that day too..he said that we can’t talk tonight. Somehow I got mad and yelled at him and said that he only thinks about his own reputation and tries to create a good image of himself in front of everyone..he barely thinks about me and all. He just seen those texts and said that he is no more interested in talking with me. He asked me not to ping or call him “until” he calls or ping me. After that I sent him a “miss you” text..and called him once. I didn’t nag him or anything. But he ignored my text and call. I don’t know if he is just giving me silent treatment or it’s his cowardly way to say it’s over? Here I can tell you that it’s not the first time he’s giving me silent treatment. He has broken up with me once using this treatment. After that he has used this treatment several times to punish me. I don’t know what’s going on..I just need to know the truth. But at the same time I don’t want to beg him for talking. Please help…
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 20, 2016 at 4:36 am
Hi Shruti,
for me you should talk to him about it because it’s not good to do that to somebody.. He’s like passive aggressive.. but of course since he’s not replying you won’t be able to do that..
If I were you, I would do contact and of he doesn’t reach out during that time, break up with him.. You deserve someone who will appreciate and make time for you
Emily
February 9, 2016 at 1:02 am
Hello. My long distance ex and I completed our 1 month of no contact and he reached out to me missing me and saying how much he loves me and wanted to marry me. He didn’t treat me so good in the end and apologized for that. I noticed he flirts with other girls and asked him about it then got defensive and turned into a huge jerk about it. We are now not speaking again. He made it all seem like my fault. I’m assuming no contact is the best thing I could do at this point?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 9, 2016 at 11:30 am
Yeah, but the more you do it the less it’s effect.,If it’s just the second time, it’s okay. That’s just a reminder to keep in mind
Leigh
January 20, 2016 at 10:29 am
I believe my long distance ex and I broke up over a fight, but I’m not sure. I say believe because he broke up with me simply by stopping contact with me. He never even explained why he wanted to break up. But one night over Skype we had a huge fight over the topic of human evolution and the origin of the human species. He doesn’t believe much in evolution and I, having spent many years learning about the topic know it’s not a “theory” but a proven process. He got mad when I said that the human species originated in Africa and it escalated in to a huge fight I know it left a sour taste in both of our mouths, but for me it was just a fight. Well a few days later he stopped contacting me. Coincidence? I think not. I later found out that he also at that time signed up to an online dating web site. So we had a fight and 2 days later he starts online dating and a couple of days after that he stopped contacting me. I was still upset about our fight and I have a lot of pride so I didn’t contact him either. But I was still hoping we weren’t breaking up and that he was just taking a break to cool off. So after 2 weeks of silence he contacts me and is clearly pissed off that I haven’t been in touch with him! We exchanged a few friendly messages, but then again he stopped contact. So I went in to NO CONTACT for FIVE WEEKS. He still didn’t contact me. I finally sent him a short but friendly message this week and he was super cold with me. I finally wrote “We’ll talk another time when you’re in a more chatty mood 😉 ” He answered “Yea, I guess so.” So here I have done everything right, and I am astounded that he wasn’t happier to hear from me after 5 weeks of no contact. I don’t understand. I never wronged him in any way. Do you think he’s mad that I didn’t contact him for 5 weeks? I have a feeling he’s met someone….could this be why he was so unfriendly? But why be unfriendly to your ex if they haven’t hurt you? And finally – is there any hope of getting him back in this situation, given that he’s being cold and is now probably seeing someone? Would be grateful for a reply. Thank-you!
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 23, 2016 at 8:42 am
Hi Leigh,
I have a tip for you. If you try again, avoid using the same kind of messages like the last message you sent because the last message kind of indicated you’re giving him the power on when to talk to you. If you really want to get his attention back, focus on interesting topics, you broke up over a very interesting one. Why not get his honest opinion on a topic you know he can’t resist to answer. But avoid arguing okay? Take that opportunity to build rapport with him again.
reet
October 28, 2015 at 4:32 pm
my boyfriend leave me.help me please
Heaven
October 16, 2015 at 2:32 pm
Okay so me and my boyfriend got into a huge fight last night and he called me a thot because he thought i was talking to some dudes while we were dating which i showed him proof it was before we started dating but i said some hurtful things and i apologized this morning but i dont think he think i meant when i really did i love him to death and i want him back what should i do i need advice asap ?? should i give him time or move on which is gonna be hard because we live in the same household together.
Deirdre
September 4, 2015 at 1:09 pm
Hi Chris,
If my ex contacts me during the NC period asking to meet do I wait until the NC period is over or respond? You linked the how to win him back via texting but he has asked to meet so should I not meet him and cut the NC period short to text him?
unknown
July 12, 2015 at 5:42 am
hi, me and my bf or (my ex since i broke up with him because i wanted to get his attention) we always get into fights at least once in a week, but we always managed to get back together and talk it out afterward. everytime when we get into fights, i tend to ignore him or yell at him. we got into all those fights because he disappointed me and lied to me. one thing i hate about him is that he always gotta tell everybody about us.. and then his friends would tell him to give up on me or they wouldve msg me and tell me to apologize to him when it wasnt even my fault at all. I nvr thought about giving up on him but recently we got into more fights and I keep on bringing up about “breaking up”. i know he wouldnt let me go because i said breaking up 2 times and every single time he wouldnt let me go and said he wouldnt move on if we break up and that he cant lose me. Then one day after our arguments I told him sorry that i think it would be better to let him go so we both have to suffer and all he said was “K”. At first, i thought it was his friends who typed that because i know him, i know he wouldn’t do that to me, but he did! he lets me go… I was so heart broken and i cried the whole night. I was texting my friends and talked to them on the phone about it and they all told me to let him go and i didn’t want to. so i called him and asked him if i can get my stuff back from his car (so i can see if it was really him who typed “K” because if it wasnt he would asked me why) but instead he didnt, he said “i will just give it back to u right now” that moment my heart died.. i didnt even know what to do anymore that time. I ran out my house and walked about my neighborhood in the middle of the night. Then i called him again. we talked on the phone and he sounded so different. he sounded like hes a different person like i dont even know him at all. he was yelling at me over the phone and saying that I was the one who wanted to break up so i cant blame it on him.. the only reason that i said that was because i wanted his attention.. i didnt want to lose him.. we talked on the phone about 30 mins and then i couldnt deal with it anymore so i told him that he doesnt care about me anymore and ima go kill myself and then i hung up. he nvr called me back. but then i got a text from him later saying that “do you want to meet up? if not, then we’re over. i gotta bring my friend home” and then he called me and asked if i want to meet up and talk so i was like yea. i asked him if he was gonna come alone and he said his friends will be in the car and he will talk to me alone. i was really looking forward to it. but then when we met up, his friend made a “line” that i couldnt cross. if i cross it, they will just leave. and then his friend went back into the car so we started talking. he brought up everything from the past.. our fights and how i hurt him by ignoring him and how he tried to work things out with me, but i wouldnt want to. he knows the reason why i do that, it is because i needed time to cool off. he said he has been holding it all in and said he gave me a lot of chances. if he told me before, i wouldve changed and work things out with him. and then his friends got off the car and surrounded me. i felt like i was ganged up by them. they were all backing him up and saying i dont respect him and care for him. all this time, ive been sacrificing a lot of things for him. he knows that. i was willing to do anything for him. I always make food for him, listen to him when hes sad or mad, care for him, and etc. And then he said I was like his mom… THAT BROKE MY HEART, it was like a bullet just went through my heart.. i just cant believe he said that.. before he would always say that hes lucky that im his gf because im so caring and loving like nobody else is like that besides his parents.. the reason he said im like his mom is because i yelled at him after i know he got into a car accident.. but before i yelled at him the first thing i asked him was if he was okay . he said yea and then i yelled at him for getting into a car accident. like i told him not to stay out that late and he promised me he wouldnt because i worry about him. i know this might sound controlling but i did this was because i love and care for him. he said i didnt care about him and i just yelle at him when i found out he got into a car accident. i was really worried.. the moment he told me he got into a car accident, i felt like my heart was aching.. because i know i cant lose him. we had so much memories together and we even talked about moving out and going to college together. and then he said he was mad because i ruined his plans about celebrating out anniversary. in the beginning i was fine with him bringing me to places and treat me but after he told me we just got fired. we lost a job.. that moment i felt really bad and i didnt want him to take me out anymore.. it is because he owes that guy $400 after the car accident, he didnt want his insurance to go up so he rather to pay that guy cash within a month.. i know he barely have any money left and plus his friends bday was coming up the next day so i know he will spend money on his friend. so i told him if he can just come out and we can go walk around, we dont need to go to fancy restaurants in order to celebrate, we can still hang out and be together. he didnt want to and said i ruined his mood and he got me waited for him for the whole day like 7 hrs. i got mad because i made him a surprise and baked him a cake.. i cussed him out out of anger and told him to shut up. he stopped talking to me right after because he knows i was pissed off. so this was basically what he talked about when we met up. He was like a different person, the way he told me all that was with confidence. i asked him if i can get another chance and he said no not now because he needs to get his life back together since he has lost so many time being with me before.. i was so heart broken.. that moment i couldnt even talk anymore.. all i just wanted was to kill myself.. i wanted to just run out to the streets and have a car run over me. but he keeps on telling me not to do stupid things and then he asked if i want him to walk me home and i said yes. i tried to hold on to his hand but he backed up and walked away from me. i begged him for another chance and he just keeps on rejecting me. i was so heart broken.. and then when we were outside my house, i was gonna leave but he opened one of his arm and asked for a hug. i hugged him and he didnt even hug me at all.. and then i went home. right now im still trying to talk to him and he said hes thinking about giving me another chance.. he just needs time.. i understand he has been holding it all in and he couldnt let it out really hurts him so i cant get mad at him for doing what he did to me that night with his friends..