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310 thoughts on “Get Your Boyfriend Back After A Fight”

  1. nama

    April 9, 2014 at 7:13 pm

    Hi Chris.
    u are amazing. After ignoring my boyfriend. doin the NC and following how to contact my ex after NC. We got bak togeda 2 weeks ago.
    We decided to try it again.
    We spent the weekend together and unfortunately ended up having sex and spending the weekend together.
    I love him more for the fact that he takes care of me.

    When I was leaving o was expecting to get money, maybe my mistake. All o got was my transportation money though I told him I was broke. He said he doesn’t have and I should take just the transportation money.
    I got mad and started saying a whole lot of things. He got extremely pissed. called me after few hours and said if I think he is just goin to give me money because I asked then I made a wrong choice of coming back. and that he wil give me only when he has it. He was really mad. We fought.

    I tried calling him after. For a lot of times. He just blocked my numbers and decided not to reply the messages I sent him. N I’ve not heard from him since. my numbers are still blocked.
    hez the kind of person that is soo busy that he doesn’t mind if we don’t speak for days because he sees it normal.

    I know it was too soon to have sex. n getting intimate without really talking about what we want from the relationship.
    now I don’t knw what to do. I’m confused.

    1. admin

      April 10, 2014 at 2:17 am

      Ya… asking for money may not have been the best move….

  2. Isabell

    March 13, 2014 at 12:42 am

    My boyfriend of 2 yrs packed up pretty much everything in our apt while I was at work and broke up with me. We just moved in together after he got back from deployment in Dec. Since he’d been back we had some huge arguments but the last 2 weeks were great, so I thought. I tried to explain that it would take time to get adjusted to each other. I was controlling and jealous and I started going to counseling. My last marriage was a mess and left me scarred. He called to tell me that it was over and that he had packed up and left while I was at work. He told me he’d call me later. I sent several text and he responded with how sorry he was. The next day I texted and called. He answered my phone call and told me to move on but let me know I could still call and text him because he’s not a mean person. He said he needed space, he wanted to get closer to God and focus on his kids who he had partial custody of. I rented the house for him an his kids and waited for him through the deployment. I will admit I was controlling and jealous but I was working on it and he didn’t seem to try and help. I’m so confused and hurt. I want him back. I texted him 2 days later and told him I wish we could start all over like when we first met and he responded with “I feel the same”. He also told me I could call him when I got back from being out of town to see where he was. I’ know I should just move on but I want to know if there is a chance we can get back together. I really love him.

  3. Reena

    March 12, 2014 at 10:14 pm

    I need help.

    I recently hooked up with a guy after being friends with him for 6 months. It’s a Long distance relationship. I actually proposed to him myself. He is my 3rd bf but I am his first. We used to contact all the time. Via Facebook, Twitter, Whatsapp. In short, I was everywhere! (However, I was never the clingy, needy GF who would keep messaging the entire day. Most of the time, he would initiate conversations with me himself). Lately, however, he started paying less attention to me. Would make excuses and get away from me. Wouldn’t text at all! One day he was talking to his buddy from another country and kept me waiting for replies. After sometime when I asked if he was busy because I was waiting, he said he was talking to a friend. I got pissed and told him off. In response, he said, “if that makes you feel secondary, what can I say? Bye”. Now it’s been 3 days and there is no contact from either side! What do I do? 🙁

  4. Hannah trahan

    March 9, 2014 at 3:18 pm

    I need your help badly. Me and my boyfriend broke up because I asked a boy a question on snap chat and he wasn’t mad about it at first until I said that I was gonna delete all the boys contacts outta my phone and delete my snap chat to cut the drama and he said no it’ll make me look like a controlling bf. which he is nowhere close to. The next day we broke up, two days ago. I wake up and cry all day I miss him the simple fact of him not being my boyfriend anymore hurts my feelings and mainly my heart. Can you please help me on like what to say

    1. admin

      March 10, 2014 at 5:42 pm

      Have you finished your NC?

  5. too funny

    February 11, 2014 at 3:40 am

    Looking over the comments – it quickly becomes apparent that many women are missing something crucial – the thinking process of men.

    Do you want to know what guys are told after a breakup? Go No contact. What are women told here to do after a breakup – go no contact. Meaning that both sides are engaged in a game of poker that kills a relationship for good.

    Let me give you a hint ladies – after 2 weeks – if you haven’t heard from him – its over. Why? Because after 2 weeks, and definitely after 4, he’s learned to live without you. Out of sight, out of mind. So after 2 weeks, you really have a decision to make – cave in and call him or just walk away for good. I know its not what you want to hear, but frankly, thats why relationships have short lifespans now.

  6. marsha

    February 11, 2014 at 3:21 am

    hi, chris. good day.

    i will ask you to the point.
    after NC and he didn’t reach out during NC, what to do?
    he starts fight right now (yes, he wants fight me rather than being friends with me) but i don’t hooked because you said i have to be in zen mode. He said to the whole world that he is so angry with me and would never forgive me in his life. is this somekind of man’s self defense issue?
    are my chance is over?

    our issue in here is
    1. i don’t have much time for him
    2. i upset him/let him down.
    we’ve been together for 1,5 year

    1. admin

      February 11, 2014 at 6:14 pm

      I have something coming up this week that should help give insight.

    2. marsha

      February 14, 2014 at 9:28 am

      THANK YOU CHRIS. 🙂 wish me luck

    3. marsha

      February 11, 2014 at 3:36 am

      i’m sorry, i’m forget to add this
      after NC, the text reply was negatively like: i hate you, you sucks, you hurt my feelings, i don’t want you in my life, i can’t forgive you, etc.
      after NC, i usually wait 10day before messaging him again.

  7. anu

    January 23, 2014 at 10:34 am

    Hi chris,
    I.m a regular reader of ur guides. I read dem agn n agn. I can fit in ur example “u cant hv dat cookie” 🙁
    See my bf is very stubborn. He loves doing things his way. I mean he always do dis. Never ever try to think wht i want. We alwz fight over dis. He dont love me and den very nxt day he starts contacting me. Its his usual routine. I m really fed up with his behaviour. He nvr replies to my texts but expects i reply to his msg/call. I m vry uncomfortable now.
    I sent him a msg today dat i knw he does live me anymore othrws he Wud nvr hv treated me like dis, so i m leaving frm his life. To whch he replied dat he cant live witjout me and wants to meet. I m so unconfortable frm his behaviour dat i said meet me somewhere outside so dat i can b a bit comfortable (u also recommended dis in one of ur guide to meet somewhere out). He refused n said he wants me to meet him at home. I said dat u told me dat “u cant live witjout me. i want to feel comfrtble so plz meet me out once and later on we will meet at home.”
    Den he said dat “i dont want to be wid u. Do not msg me now.”
    I mean wht d hell .. 1 min he said he cant live without me and second min he said dont msg i dont want to b wid u.its so confusing. It all happened today.

    U said once dat if u want him back, den behave dat u dont want him back. Irony!!! But if it can work on him, m ready to do it.
    If i do NC on him now, will it change his behaviour or he gets more angry??? Will he gets afraid that he z loosing me because of his behaviour??? Will i go NC?
    Plz suggest.

    1. anu

      January 23, 2014 at 10:38 am

      Sorry by mistake clicked send button…

      I just want u to knw dat from 2 months we hvnt seen each other. Is he loosing interest in me. Y is he confusing me with his behaviours dat he loves me 1 minute and second minute he dont want me…. :'(
      Will NC work on him??

    2. anu

      January 23, 2014 at 3:12 pm

      I just sent him 3 msgs… Not vry long… I said dat “i donno y i kept trying to get u back whn u treated me so badly. If u hv loved me, u wud hv never done dis. U knw dis dat i hv alwz been very true to u. But i knw now dat u dont love me. Soi m leaving from ur life. I hvnt met u frm last 1 month. U dont knw how i hv spent dis time.”

      These r 3 msgs.

      I told u i can pretent to him dat i dont want him just to get him bqck.
      If i start my NC period now, Will he come back and think dat he has lost me and my love because of his bad and careless behaviour?

    3. anu

      January 23, 2014 at 5:30 pm

      I saw him just now. I was walking after dinner. He crossed me… Was real close. But i ignored him. I think he will get angry 🙁
      He didnt replied to any of my msgs till now. I m really losing hope now. I think he will not b back even after NC. Wht do u suggest??? i hv already started nc. But Will he miss me ever and think dat he lost me coz of his behaviour. Will he come bck to me?? :'(

  8. Mary

    January 20, 2014 at 7:01 pm

    My boyfriend broke up with me because he’s depressed and said he has to focus on himself and his career. He just can’t have a relationship 🙁

    I am devastated. I couldn’t do the no-contact because I felt bad for him and I wanted to help him through his depression. But yesterday we talked again and he said he’s moving on and can never go back to the past (even though it was great). He said he needs at least a year to work on himself.

    What should I do? I want him back so bad? he was the best I’ve ever had 🙁

    1. admin

      January 21, 2014 at 5:55 pm

      Are you going to do NC?

  9. Laura

    January 14, 2014 at 4:18 am

    My boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 months and he is simply amazing and treats me like a princess. While in the relationship I’ve started to become very insecure and I’m not sure why, but I’m taking it all out on him. He’s always made it better by reassuring me and telling me how much he loves me which “words of affirmation” is one of my love languages and he tries to use it. I recently lost my job (career), his daughter is 11 and is a roller coaster and my relationship with my brother has been on the rocks for a year. I think I just got over whelmed. Long story short, I made some horrible and in true accusations about him out of my own insecurity and he flipped saying to handle my insecurities somewhere else, he can’t handle his daughters ups and downs and mine too. We didn’t talk the rest of the day. Then that night I posted a pic with guys and girls (friends) and he texted me saying “I knew you would do that, it’s over, were done, piss off, I don’t deserve that, it’s disrespectful and if I did it to you, you’d have a break down”. Then I tried to explain it was just friends, he barely spoke to me and then said “we will see, this was a huge red flag to what the future would hold, you accusing me of things I’ve never given you a reason to” after that he didn’t talk to me for 4 days and I have him that time. I apologized 4 days later and he accepted my appology and that he doesn’t want to live a life having to apologize for what he does or doesn’t do and he can only be the best man he knows how to be. I him I love him and he said he loved me too. I told him I missed him and he said the same. I went to his house for his daughters slumber party and things seemed better. Then the next day he got cold. And had been cold since. Our parents are meeting this weekend and he asked me when I showed up for the first time if we were all still going and I said yes. So what happened? Where’s the affection, I love you, good nights and good morning Princess’? I’ve had to say good night and good morning and his response is so vague. It’s starting to hurt my feelings. It’s been going on for one day now. Help? He did ask me to text him when I got home
    And he went to the store to get my Advil without him even asking. I’m just confused with the behavior. What do I do?

  10. Suzane Daniel

    January 14, 2014 at 1:17 am

    Hi,
    My name is Suzanne Daniel and me and my guy were together for 1yr i had a amazing time with him, we work in the same office i love him a alot but in past i did a mistake talking to another guy on messages, and he found out and we had a big fight and we broke up he didn’t spoke to me for a long time i convinced him to forgive me and promised him not to do all this again, but just like 2 days back we again had a fight over a MSG which went by mistake which stated “if someone sees us then what” i was thinking something and typed something and sent to him by mistake i tried explaining the same to him but he wouldn’t believe me.. and messaged me saying leave me alone don’t message or call me.. its really getting so hard for me to be without him as we work together.. and i know even he loves me so much.. he even texted saying i hate you.. just over that message the thinks i am talking again to some other guy. which is not true. my Jesus knows it..
    please advice me something to get him back in my life.. cause i love him alot.

    1. admin

      January 14, 2014 at 5:50 pm

      ARe you doing NC?

    2. Suzane Daniel

      January 15, 2014 at 12:44 am

      my choice would be him. cause i love him and i want him in my life any one

    3. Suzane Daniel

      January 15, 2014 at 3:06 am

      its getting so hard for me to be without him.. we work in the same office and its so hard i love him alot i guess i am sounding to desperate. but i need him back in my life, he never initiate any messaging but yes he dose reply to all my msgs But he says i have cheated on him over that message (but i haven’t cheated him) please advice need help to get him back.

    4. marsha

      February 11, 2014 at 3:02 am

      hi suzane, the admin want you to do NC (no contact rule that he invent). Have you done it?

    5. admin

      January 14, 2014 at 5:50 pm

      ARe you doing NC?

    6. Suzane Daniel

      January 15, 2014 at 12:24 am

      I didn’t understand what do you mean by NC

  11. rebeca

    January 13, 2014 at 8:09 pm

    Hi, I’ve been with my boyfriend only four months but I’m 28 single mother of 3 and he is 40. He seems like the type of man I want to settle down with. we had been having some trouble because I worked at his business and couldn’t separate the business from our relationship,I’m a real jealous person and possesive too. I know I can drive a man nuts and push him away. So I did … and he fired me. We stayed together for a few days but I was really bothered by his action of leaving me without a job knowing I have my kids. Just because he could separate things. I think he is a good man but we both messed up. Me and my jealousy and him firing me. So eventually like a week later I said goodbye and wished him the best. . . This was three days ago and now that I think about it I’m so scared he will find somebody else. I haven’t texted him nor called him. . . Oh and he has always said that when it’s over, it’s over. But I know he cares about me. Do u think he’ll call.

    1. admin

      January 14, 2014 at 5:35 pm

      If you do NC he might.

  12. natalie

    January 10, 2014 at 1:56 am

    Me and my boyfriend had been together for a year 1 1/2 and have known each other for 7. in the end we was living together. we had our little petty fights and brokeup but within a few hours we would get back together after we had cooled off. we had only been living with each other for about 5 months. 2 months ago he started a business and i helped him build it from the ground up. When we broke up it was really bad we had slept through the alarm and was running late for work. One part of our fight was that he said that im a totally different person when i have my kids. It didnt help the fact that we was slightly hungover, lol it was New Years after all. We was stressed because we was under a deadline and we started snapping at each other and it got out of control, you know the usual yelling and saying hurtful things like i hate you and calling each other names. i had pushed him and i actually hit him because i had tripped and i thought he did it on purpose (which he didnt) i just wasnt paying attention because i was so angry. My ex before him was abussive that way and when something like happenes in a fight its like my mind automatically wants to think hes the same, which i know that he is not and will not ever hurt me that way. We loved each other very much, i still do, of course. its been a week so far and i have talked to him once and that was today. Do i still have a chance to get him back or is he gone for good, i feel likehe hates me which who could blame him for what i did. i told him that i was sorry. we have always made up before and have other serious fights just not to this extent.

  13. lindsey

    January 5, 2014 at 9:17 pm

    I had a boyfriend who I felt safe and loved been with him. But I treated him bad, I didnt meant to I just didnt knew how to handle my self. I used to get very jealous and got mad when he talk to girls…he stop doing that. We had got in a big fight when he was talking to this girl I got really jealous when he sent her a winky face and he still wanted to talk to her because supposly they were bestfriends. He left her for I would be happier. We fought because I used to get mad at little things too, but I really love him. He made me realize after my break up that things arent always going to be my way. He gaved me a second chance I messed it up by giving an attitude because he didnt knew if he was going to come to my house for my birthday and that same we were going to make 9 months or if he to go to his cousins 15. I got mad and he started to say how I have manipulated him, yes I get that I had cut my self once because I didnt knew what to do, I promised him I wouldnt do it again a long time ago but he still mention it he said that I will always be a jealous type and how he wants to talk to other girls because he told me that back then girls were who got along with he said that the guys he were friends with were assholes. And he kept blamming things on me…he said how if we were to stay friends if it would be weird…when he said that I started crying…he told me a story of his life that I never knew..then he broke up with me…i wanted to change his mind so I kept saying dont or I love you please dont do this…. now he deleted me and my family from social media such as facebook and he deleted all of our pictures..my mom had called him on new years eve saying why …and since I hadnt stop crying and I was outside all day and was getting sick…he said what he told me to my mom and how he didnt loved me anymore ,how he had snap out and didnt love me. My mom left him alone ..my sister in law called him because of me..i was getting highly depressed and same thing…he said to her that only spoiled people cry and trow tantrums..i thought to my self ..im not spoiled if I rarely can even eat everyday..and such…after that I been searching here on google trying to know how to get him back..i love him and I had told him that I regret treating him like that and so on and I told his brother that I love his brother and how I was going to not bother non ofthem and for his brother to just have time to think . But that was it. After that I deactivated my facebook. I now woken up since he’s gone of how I did things and now I have cleared my mind and now know how and what I should change because yes I was a pain in the ass, but now I know and I am changing because I think its necessary and I told him I was going to change and everything but I dont think he believes it. I want to win his heart back ,but I dont know how I love him dearly I always told him I love his and I always told him how I aprecciated what he has done for me I said thank you. Please help me how to win him back. Ive been searching for reverse pshycology ,but I dont have the money to afford it…please help me. It’ll mean soo much too me, I really do love him.i havent talk to him.. no contact (NC),
    ever since he left me which was on dec 31st its been almost a week (about to be 5 days) and my birthday is almost here jan 8th ..it might be depressing since in that same day we would of made 9 months. I want him back..i havent put pressure on him whatsoever..my last message i had sent him was of me changing and how i thank him for telling me what i did wrong and i was going to change, and i know i shouldnt change for anybody but he is not just anyone to me. He i smore than that. Have any tips on how to win his heart back? Please help. He hasnt talk to me at all..

    1. La

      March 17, 2014 at 5:05 am

      Hey Lindsey,
      How are you doing? I share parts of your story but I think you need to stop blaming yourself because that’s what I did in my past relationships. I have anger management issues and all my relationships have ended because of it. I recently had a breakup with a person who was my friend for a long period of time. I kept on getting angry and upset at little things he would do. My anger was so bad that I was constantly breaking up and then I would feel bad and ask him to be with me. I really liked him even though we dated like 2 months or so. I regret that I hurt him but at the same time glad because I know I needed to focus on myself. See I have always hated myself and I love to blame everything on myself but now I am trying to make myself happy and try to better myself for me. I am not resolving my anger management to show him that it wouldn’t happen; but instead, I am doing it for myself and I am figuring out why I react to things in that way. Don’t get me wrong, I miss him a lot and that’s the reason, I am on the site but its only to stop myself from contacting him. Its hard, really hard. because I am in the midst of my last finals of my undergraduate year, and got offered a job after graduation and instead all I want to do is weep. I only eat to stop my acid reflux or else I would have starved. Even though, I want to weep, I don’t ever want to look back on life where I tell myself that I could have accomplished something instead at that moment instead of staying bummed over him. I keep moving forward, maybe he’ll be back in my life and then I would feel foolish about crying in the first place or maybe I will find a better awesome more caring person, and also feel foolish because I cried over someone that was no longer part of my life. I am reading a lot of self help books as well, for the longest time I thought htey were pathethic but they help. I hope at this point you are happy, and remember you are not in at it alone. Don’t make him feel sorry for you because that will drive him away. You need to love and respect yourself first <3

    2. admin

      January 6, 2014 at 6:21 pm

      Actually my best tip is to spend some time reading this site. There is so much information that it is definitely worth it.

  14. lily

    December 30, 2013 at 6:15 am

    hi chris. since me and my bf broke up, i searched ways on how to get him back in the internet and i found your site the most authentic/ no bs of them all. anyways, here is my story.

    we’ve been together for 1yr and 6mos. the rel is doing pretty well. we’ve given each other enough space and just from time to time, i commit little jealousies but it doesn’t turn into fights. anyways when we fight, we are not mean to each other. most of our fights are through chat. we hadn’t yelled at each other or called each other names. when we fight, we usually won’t talk for 3-4days. i’d let him cool down for awhile and let him initiate the conversation again. we had many mock break ups in the past but this one right now feels real. during our last fight, i got so pissed of with him that i deleted our facebook relationship status. then when i calmed down, i added it again but he wont accept it. he said that maybe it’s better for us to be separate from each other in the mean time. i told him if he doesnt want a relationship with me anymore. he said that he don’t know and he’s confused and he doesn’t have any answers right now. the reason of our last fight is that bec i felt taken for granted for the past month and i just kept it to myself, then when he took me for granted again, i am not able to hold back my self and emotions anymore, i nagged him and told him what he should /should not do. so that’s the start of our last fight and the reason of the break up.

    i am in no contact with him for already 6days and i think i am managing well, i can maintain no contact for 30days but i am worrying that he might move on and not care for me anymore. 🙁 during christmas, he didn’t greet me, and during my bday, i didn’t get any greeting from him either. now it is his bday and i didn’t greet him in return LOL.

    i just wanted for us to get back together and improve our relationship. i hope that there’s still a chance between us

  15. cynthia

    December 29, 2013 at 9:29 pm

    well my problem is big: my boyfriend and i met by coincidence and then we started to date we stayed together for about 1 month and a half before we break up and all that time before breaking up he showed me he was a very good boyfriend one day i went to see a movie with him alone. after the movie finished i asked him to drive me home he was realy nice but someone called him then he started to change when i looked at him i felt he was annoyed.the second day i sended him a message asking to see him but no reply the other day the same thing !! we stayed about 4 days without talking,i felt so sad and mad!!! & boom he talked to me after 5 days at midnight i thought i was going to be happy but it was the opposite he wrote me hey sory for this but i need to tell you our relationship isn’t working out we need to break up and besides that i am going on a trip to jordan ( this was true he was going on a trip ) .once i opened facebook and saw this i wanted to cry very bad and once he saw me online he wrote me we only see each other once every year i want my girlfriend to be with me every night!!like are you kiding me before these 5 days i sended you 2 messages asking to see you! i closed my account and never answered him the next day he sended me another message saying good luck in your life i also didn’t answer
    2 months passed when it was summer and he was at jordan with his family and i was here falling apart because of him and his attitude because at this time every single moment i tried to erase him from my memory but he tries speaking with me first on facebook then on viber but i never answered.
    when he came back from jordan my school has already started and then one night he sended me a msg saying hi at this moment i said helo he asked how r u before i answer he called me by my name he said r u in a relationship with somebody i said not yet then he said i need to see u cz there is something good i want to tell you so i laughed he said why r u laughing i said because of u lies then he told me do you know why we broke up i told him i don’t want to know he started lying and said because i didn’t want to hurt you i was leaving to jordan … ilaughed another time and said see you also lied to me at the begining of the reason you broke up with me !all he started saying was please forgive me and give me only this chance,i didn’t answer him.after 2 days we had a party that my school organised i talked to him and asked him to come ! he came like a wind once he saw me there was a big smile on his face he moved closer to me and kissed me on my cheek and why should i lie i felt the same thing once i saw him i wanted to run and hug me till forever but no i stayed simple.(and here i need to point out to something danger : he told that he started a relationship with a girl in jordan which means each 2 months he can’t stay with the same girl he always needs to change )
    after this party 2 days ago i went to see him in a restaurant with my friend (girl) he brought with him his friend and so she did but there was one thing i didn’t know about it that he challenged my friend in the party while i was dancing with a boy that my friend (girl)can’t make my cousin (who was at the party)dance with her anyway before we go to the restaurant i told him to stay away from her and don’t try talk with her very much but instead when we all sat together he asked my cousin to move from next to her and went and sat right next to her i tried to stay cool and didn’t say anything although he know i will be very upset ( the point is once i started to talk to him again he thought i forgot everything that happened before)
    beacuse of my severe exams it passed a month without seeing him but i was talking to him always on viber or facebook or even calling him and one day he toold me there is agirl who talked to me and said she would do anything for me if i accept to see her .itold him simply :good .after a week there was another party that my school organised so i asked him if he would like to come with me he said yes so i bought him a ticket ( after a huge fight about wanting him to pay for both of tickets).i had to go to the party before him with this girl cz i didn’t know where was the place this girl when she entered she directly went toward a couple of guys so i went with her one of those guys i think i likded him he asked me r u in a relationship i said yes then he said is ur boy coming i said also yes .so i told my friend come on lets go and sit somewhere else she said no so i turned my back and started to leave to another table this guy told “u made like u and now u r going to leave me ” i said nothing i just left .he asked my friend if i realy have a boyfriend she told him yes she does and she told him his name .the surprise was that my boyfriend was his neighboor and they are bestfriends i talked to my boy and asked him to come very quickly and then he came and saw his friend . while we were at the party my friend and whispered in my ear bcz of the loud noise and sais come sit with us i told her i won’t and besides that i don’t know anyone of ur friends she said bring your boy with you and u also know that new guy so i just mocked her and said nooo why won’t he come and sit with us ( i was mocking her so i can make her understand that my answer is no )
    3 seconds and boom that new guy came and sat right next to me and not right next to his friend (bcz this girl told him that i told her to tell him to come and sit next to me so i can make my boy jealous !! like why did she do that i never asked her to do such thing so i said nothing and each time my boy moved his face away from me his friend starts pinching me and say i’m better than him i swear . when this guy left i told my boyfriend that his friend is annoying me but there was no reaction from him !!!! after a while this guy came and said to my boy i want to dance with her my boy didn’t try to say no he said sure why not i looked at him and i was very angry cz i just told him his friend is annoying me anyway i just went there and danced with him but this guy he was trying to get very near from me so i just tried t stay away then told him i need to go and check on my boy (although my boy was every single minute watching me )this guy said to me ok but i’m waiting for you to come back or i will get sad i told him i don’t care my boy is important. at the party my boy went to the bathroom for 1 min so this guy came hold ed my hand and took me next to his friend and said give me ur number i told him no then he looked at me surprised and replied ok i will bring it my way and we never spoked to each other at the party cz i left me and my boy and my friend with her boy also.the next day i told my cousin everything that happened with me all he said don’t try talking to him and don’t give him ur number and he also said that he will talk to my boy bcz he have shouldn’t treat me like that at the party and say nothing to that guy. the same old story started to happen again with me aftar the party i talked to him and asked to see him he didn’t answer the other day the same thing but meanwhile this guy took my number and talked to me i was shocked so i told my cousin and he said block him so i did then he tried calling me but i didn’t answer and then sended me a msg saying thanks for the block but i was just trying to help u and ur boy .
    i took screenshots of everything he said to me and sended them to my cousin and then my cousin said does ur boy knows anything of these i told him if ur asking about what happened at the party then yes i told him everything at the party but he didn’t do anything about it and if u r asking about what this guy said to me now then no because he is not answering me .
    my cousin talked to my boy and explained for him the situation then my boy talked to me and said why u didn’t say he was talking to u i said if u have answered me u have would known
    at the same night my cousin and my boy went to that guy and had a big argument with him and all what that guy said was i asked him to come and sit right next to me and that ianswered him when he called me !!!!!!!!!!! like what the hell is wrong with him why every body is lying and saying something i never said whats wrong with u people??? the big surprise for me was that both my boy and cousin believed that guy and not me!! the other day i went with my friends to have launch and then go shopping this girl that made me this problem came with me while i was choosing a gift for my boy for his birthday and since it was christmas also so i choosed a gift for him and prepared everything (although it has been over 3 days and he didn’t speak to me )on christmas eve i’ve sended him a msg saying merry christmas for u and ur family ..(he didn’t answer).at 8 pm he talked to me i was happy (just like before it happening the same)he talked to me and said hey where r u i am at the restaurant with my exgirlfriend and her friend . i was very shocked from his attitude so he said ok atleast i told you. my friend asked me did u break up with him i told her why then she said cz he is in the restaurant with his ex i told her i know he just told me . she said i will ask her maybe he is lying i told her no don’t but nooo she called my boy’s ex and humiliated her infront of my boy then here my boy got angrier from me and he thought that i asked her to do that and called my cousin immediately and told him what happened then my cousin called me and said what is going on r u still talking to that girl i explained the situation but he still refused to believe me like the first time i talked to my boy at that moment he was shouting and saying we don’t need to talk and there’s nothing to talk about it so i didn’t continue talking to him and i said to my cousin that i will send him my boy’s gift and i want him to give it to him and he find him so upset from me to tell him that i want to break up . and it’s been about 4 days that i haven’t opened whatsapp and haven’t speak to neither one of them and besides that i’ve send my cousin more than 3 messages asking him if he gave my boy his gift and if he told him i want to break up with him.but no answer till now !!!!
    i don’t know what i should do i am realy mad of them bcz they trusted the wrong person and not me and atleast my boy (if we r still in a relationship together)should send me atleast a message thanking me for the gift and besides that i believe he did that because he doesn’t want to bring me a gift for christmas
    so what should i do i don’t want to lose him another time it’s hard for me to stay away from him i need a big helpp !!!!!!!!i don’t know wether i’m still with him in a relationship or no 🙁

    1. admin

      December 30, 2013 at 8:19 pm

      Well, are you doing NC?

      What have you done? Have you read this sites guides?

  16. Charlotte

    December 26, 2013 at 7:41 am

    Hi Chris

    My boyfriend and I broke up two months ago. i did a month of NC and then we were slowly dating again and working on getting back together, until XMAS eve happened.
    His friends and their parents were coming around for dinner and he wanted me to come. When I got there, he said that they were going to Mass and that I would have to go. I’m not against religion at all and have my own beliefs and he knows this. I said that I would be able to go as I don’t believe in it. He got upset and said he didn’t want to make them feel awkward, he doesn’t believe in religion but is going just to make it an easy night. We had a few words and in the end I gave up.
    Mass time comes and he said that were going to stay behind and clean up while they go. They were fine with it, no problem at all.
    Anyways, they come back we have wine and a sing song, they leave and i just got so upset. Everything from our relationship that I was upset came out. He said to go to sleep which got me more upset, because that was always his answer when this happened. Never deal with anything, just go to sleep, or go for a walk. So i kept my mouth running and it ended up being a yelling match, we pushed each other and I just let everything out, what I knew he had done with another girl while we were dating, all the problems that had built up over our 18 month relationship it came out of my mouth. We eventually went to sleep. In the morning I apologised for my disgraceful disrespectful behaviour. We hugged and he said there is no way we are ever getting back together, you need to go and do some soul searching. We had an eight hour journey to our home city for xmas. It was a peaceful lovely journey, we talked calmly, he asked me what was going in my head why i exploded. I told him. He still stuck by his words of us not getting back together. I didn’t argue with him, REALISTICALLY knew it was the right thing, but IDEALLY want us to work through this and become one and better.
    His mother has a very influential stand in his life. He can do no wrong in his mothers eyes and she always takes his side, so I know he told his mum about the fight and asked what she said and he said that she said not to get back together with me.
    Am i a delusional idiot to think in due time, we can be together again?
    It was a massive fight. I am going NC again. Will this work?

    1. admin

      December 26, 2013 at 6:27 pm

      It can work yes.

  17. Nicole

    November 26, 2013 at 5:32 pm

    When I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday, I broke up with him first & then I started verbally fighting with him. I started questioning him about why he did/didn’t do certain things. He of course didn’t answer because I had already broken up with him. I don’t know what I feel for him anymore. I want to be with him, but after I ended it I started to feel this weight lift off of my shoulders. Why do I feel this way? Is it possible to slightly want someone, but not want them at the same time? I’m so confused right now, but I’m also happy that I don’t have to go through various mood swings every day. I hopefully did all of my crying yesterday. I talked to my best friend about everything last night & she told me to give him some space. I’m honestly scared that I’ll give him space, but then I won’t want to try to fix the situation because I’ll have moved on. I know we both have to want to fix the relationship, but I know my ex so well. I know he’s not going to make the first move because I was the one who got upset, so he’ll be waiting on me to calm down & contact him. At least I hope so. (Out of all the times we had a fight, only one time did he contact me first, but I still had to tell him that we could fix this.) (I think he only wants to fix things if I want to, otherwise he’ll just stay quiet.)
    My plan was to wait until next monday to talk to him. I was going to call his house, ask if he’s home, alright, & if I can come over. If things don’t go well then I guess I’ll just leave the relationship in the past.

    What really upset me was that he spent his time on Facebook talking to another girl, right in front of me! He never texted me back after 6pm on sunday. Before he stopped texting me, he told me that he had posted something on Facebook that was for me. I hadn’t been on in a few hours, so I thought he had posted something new. Sure enough it was the post that I had already seen. The post was: “I have a crush on her & she doesn’t even know it.” I replied about 30 minutes after he texted me because I was busy with something. So maybe he thought I wasn’t too invested in the conversation. I don’t know, I don’t want to make excuses for his actions. I don’t know if I’m overreacting or what. I just don’t believe he should be neglecting me to have a silly conversation with someone else. Also a few weeks ago, this girl texted him while he was showing me something on his phone. I asked him who is she & he told me, she’s just a friend, you can go on her Facebook & see she has a boyfriend. It makes me wonder why he had to tell me she has a boyfriend. I didn’t get upset with him, I just asked a harmless question. Why did he jump that far ahead? The fact that he had tell me she had a boyfriend, just makes me think there’s something more between them. I also saw that he tagged her in two posts: one was last week & the other was yesterday.
    The first post was about her not calling him. (This happened when we were still together.) The second post was this video that showed these texts saying “I really like you! Do you like me back?” The second post occurred after I had broken up with him. So I can’t really be upset about that. Anyways do you think he had this girl waiting on the sideline? Do you think this is who he’s been texting/talking to when he’s not texting/talking to me?

    I also wanted to say that I previously followed your no contact rule & was able to get back together with my ex after 2 months. I thought we got back together too soon, but I was hoping that he would be a better boyfriend this time around. I know that I can let him go, but I want to try to resolve the issues first if possible.

    I really believe we can make things work, but we both have a lot of growing to do. Our ages really mess things up, I’m 19 & he’s 20. I’m turning 20 next month & he’ll be 21 in february. I think I’ve slightly outgrown the relationship & that really scares. I’m just so unsure of everything right now & it’s really scary. Sometimes I want him back, but then I think about how normal I feel again. I think I just need to be free of him & find out by myself if I want him back.

    What do you think I should do? Is he possibly emotionally cheating? Should I even try to fix things? Should I do no contact? (I really don’t want to.) Thanks, sorry that I’m so confused right now.

    1. admin

      November 26, 2013 at 8:25 pm

      May I ask why you want him back if you think he is cheating?

    2. Nicole

      November 26, 2013 at 10:06 pm

      It’s just a thought that runs across my mind. I slightly want him back because I think we can work this out. Every time I have accused him or thought he was cheating, I have been wrong. So I believe I’m wrong once again. Because I’ve accused him of cheating in the past, he might be doing it now. I’m not saying he’s cheating, I’m just thinking about the bad possibilities. Yesterday when I broke up with him, I thought I was doing the right thing. I still think I made a good decision for right now, but that could change over time. I think we both need space from each other.

    3. admin

      November 27, 2013 at 7:26 pm

      Well give eachother some space then.

    4. Nicole

      November 28, 2013 at 5:57 am

      Would it be too early to talk to him on Monday?

    5. admin

      November 28, 2013 at 5:58 am

      Up to you completely!

  18. Tanisha

    November 9, 2013 at 5:51 am

    I had a horrible fight with my boyfriend…both of us did certain mistakes but I don’t think that he will come back..I really truly love him and want him back in my life….it was a 6 month of relationship!! We had 3 times break up but it was all his mistakes in those…and after sometimes he realises it and apologise to me!! but this time this one is a terrific fight between us and it was of no such reason please help me what to do….how to get my love back to me again?

    1. admin

      November 10, 2013 at 1:03 am

      Sorry about the fight. Are you doing a NC?

    2. Tanisha

      November 10, 2013 at 5:43 am

      yess im trying to do..but im afrain that he’ll find a new girlfriend in these 30 days..what to do im very depressed!!

    3. admin

      November 10, 2013 at 9:56 pm

      Just remain calm and trust in the NC rule!

  19. Emily

    November 4, 2013 at 11:29 am

    Hi Chris! I’m desperate for your help! My ex and I just broke up not to long ago. We lived together and were always around each other. This caused us to fight a lot, about little things like “you don’t give me enough attention” or anything a simple as figuring out what to have for dinner that night. He was always busy because he is a music producer, and I never really had anything to do so I would bug him and I felt bad because I thought he wasn’t giving me any attention, but the truth is I just had nothing to do! We still fought and eventually it got to a point where we broke up. About a week after we broke up I moved out and back home to live with my family. Now we live a state away, but he is moving back to our hometown (where I currently live) within this month. He told me we can’t be together because we are on “different wavelengths”. Before I left he told me he still loved me and cared about me. We left on good terms, and the time we were broken up and still living together we were perfectly fine and getting along. We talked the first few nights when I moved back home but after that I used your no contact rule, but only stopped speaking to him for two weeks (darn me). The only reason I talked to him was because I owed him money for rent and wanted to let him know the money was on it’s way. We ended up chatting about food and how each others Halloween’s went. I really want him back. I was convinced he was the love of my life. I was going through a deep depression my whole life, and when I met him I became soo happy. Not just because I was with him, but because he is the smartest man I’ve ever known, and has given me so much advice on life and how to view things. I had such a negative view on the world and my life while he had a beautiful view on everything. He was my inspiration. He is so smart and charming and I can’t seem to give up on him. He is my dream man. He has made my life so much better by helping me make my own life better. He has given me some of the best advice in the world and I don’t want to lose him. Being with him gave me more of an advantage to take his advice. He is such an extraordinary human being and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. He makes me happy, even when we’re not together. But I’m afraid, because I was happier when I was with him. I’m happy today, but something’s missing, and it’s not just love. I’ve tried to talk to other men who seemed interested but nothing could compare to him. He is the only man I’m attracted to. How can I fix this?! I feel so empty, like something is missing, like he’s missing. I would appreciate it so much if you could help, I’m honestly desperate for your opinion and help!

    1. admin

      November 4, 2013 at 6:14 pm

      Have you tried NC yet?

  20. DZ

    November 2, 2013 at 11:08 pm

    Hi Chris,

    I have a very short question. I apologized to my ex and he accepted my apology. What is the next step?

    1. admin

      November 3, 2013 at 5:36 pm

      Well, are you pre-NC, in-NC or post NC?

    2. DZ

      November 3, 2013 at 10:07 pm

      Well, I actually don’t know. I tried NC and completed it, but after that it wasn’t working out like I expected. We got into a fight and didn’t talk anymore. I didn’t count the days, but I think we didn’t talk for more than 30 days. Yesterday he start talking to me and I saw it as the right moment to apologize. I really want him back and don’t know what to do next.

    3. admin

      November 4, 2013 at 5:16 pm

      Hmmm… well, have you read any of the general get your ex back guides on this site?

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