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699 thoughts on “Do You Even Have A Chance At Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back? Let’s Find Out!”

  1. Abi

    April 13, 2017 at 8:52 am

    Hi, I decided to comment here because I feel like my situation applies more to this topic. Basically, I emotionally abused my ex boyfriend, and now I don’t know if I even have a chance left…

    1. Abi

      April 15, 2017 at 6:56 am

      I know… but I need to weigh my chances. I don’t want it to be a totally gone case and then try…

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 13, 2017 at 6:14 pm

      You’re not going to know if you don’t try..

  2. Lu

    March 2, 2017 at 6:48 pm

    I just ended a really new relationship Sunday just gone, which I say we got together officially in jan. He was a lovely guy and I couldn’t really fault him. So I wonder what is wrong with me.
    We use to talk every day none stop. I think really I got scared. Which I told him that. My last relationship was a bad one.
    But I started to worry as on text we use to talk freely but when we were in person we enjoyed our company but we didn’t talk much in person. So I sort of felt maybe we were more friends than a couple.
    So I told him how I felt, but it was only me that felt like this. And I think I ran before It could get started.
    I don’t think I have any right but I miss him and I don’t know if it’s because it’s only been a few days or I did the wrong things. My friends think I have. I go to text him sometimes, I don’t because that’s wrong. This was done over text as we couldn’t meet up. I wanted to send him a letter as it never comes over right by text.
    He said he needed someone that new they wanted something to progress in to something, which I did but I think I also got scared as he was full on with I was the women he wanted and saw a future with.
    I think I have blown all my chances.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 3, 2017 at 12:34 pm

      Hi Lu,

      I’m not sure I understood what you said.. Did you mean you’re the one that broke up with him and now you want to take it back?

  3. Mari

    February 12, 2017 at 4:15 am

    Hi he broke up with me over a month ago. We were together for a year and a half. Reason for BU was that he didn’t want to keep hurting me anymore and that he thinks i deserve better. I was 31 days into nc then I made contact. I messaged him over fbc. I said hi and just wanted to mention how I passed by a restaurant (where we had our first date) and I remembered him and it made me smile. He replied with a “Ahhh haha ok.” (kinda cold) He also congratulated me for winning a competition recently. I said thank you and told him to enjoy the rest of his weekend. The past few days, my university held an event and he was there. I don’t want to be assuming but he came to sit close by me multiple times. Like if I were talking to a friend, he’d sit in front of me or beside that friend. (the venue is very large and the whole row in front of me had available seats. we have the same friends btw) Throughout the past weeks he’s also been making posts about love and learning and things like. “Event though I’m with someone else, you’re still the one on my mind.” “all these options but I still choose you” “this time im holding coz i don’t want to fall again” things like that. But people tell me it’s for his organization and it’s supposed to be a publicity stunt. A friend said that he was still enjoying his life and that I shouldn’t have made contact just yet. How long is too long? Do I actually have a chance? What should I do.. I don’t want to make the wrong moves. I really want this guy back.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 13, 2017 at 7:54 pm

      Hi Mari,

      I think that text was too awkward for him.. initiate again after a week. Use a topic he loves talking about and dont stop being active in your life..

  4. Dora

    February 8, 2017 at 3:51 am

    Hello, my boyfriend just broke up with me because he said that he feels trapped, he is attracted to all females and he doesn’t want cheat and he said that he doesn’t love me like it should and that he thinks that he s just attached to me not in love, and that he s not having fun when I m around and the thought of being and having sex with me forever it’s very unsettling and he also told me that if he would have the chance to get back together with me in seven years or so he ll be the happiest on earth and if he won’t he ll have lost the best woman.it is to mention that this happened before but he came back after 3 weeksof no contact the tthing is that in that moment I was always around him and he said that that’s why he came back and couldn’t get over me but now I can’t be around him anymore. To mention that he said that there s no chance of getting back together this time. Please help me no one is giving me any chance of getting back together and I m feel that the chances are pretty low and I feel hopeless cause I feel that there s nothing I can do. What are my chances and what should I do to get him back

    1. Dora Nechifor

      February 17, 2017 at 1:53 am

      I did something really stupid! I texted him and after a day of talking I decided to tell hm that this “text friendship” is not doing any good for me and he agreed to talk only if it’s very important, but after I crashed and I tried to talk some sens into him and he said that he doesn’t want any relationship right now and to not insist and he asked for his things back. Did I messed it up really bad? Is there any chances left? What should I do?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 17, 2017 at 1:49 pm

      maybe it’s not yet too late.. give his things, restart the count and focus in improving yourself..

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 8, 2017 at 12:41 pm

      Hi Dora,

      The relationship got boring for him.. Do the 30 day no contact rule. Get your life back, improve yourself, do new things but most importantly, do that for yourself. Not for him. Be the ungettable girl. Click this:
      The Ungettable Girl

  5. Kate

    January 16, 2017 at 4:59 am

    I have just broken up with my boyfriend. We had a great relationship and I didnt see it coming to be honest. About 18 moths before we started dating his wife left him suddenly, which shook him a lot. I am the first serious relationship since and the first to meet his son (14 from a fling). We have only been dating for about 5 months and 2 weeks ago I had an abortion (mutual decision, just the wrong time & he was there at every step and was great). Then out of the blue he comes to my house and said that he couldn’t be in a serious relationship, that with his son etc things might get too intense and I might leave, that he cant rely on somone again in case they leave. I feel like with everything that has gone on he has got a little overwhelmed. I asked him if he was sure and he said no, but he is woreied he cant give ne what i want or guarantee where we will be in a year (who can that is the risk with relationships). I am trying to no contact rule now and just wanted to get your view on my chances and any suggestions considering the last few weeks have been very intense emotionally for both of us (way more than it should be at this stage) and his trust issues around his ex wife?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 16, 2017 at 7:44 pm

      Hi Kate,

      I think you both need a breather.. so yes, the no contact rulw will probably help you both..

  6. Kristy

    January 9, 2017 at 8:27 pm

    Ok so this is a Doozy.
    I’ve been listening non stop to the podcasts, I just started reading the book, and there are things that are similar to our situation, but nothing super concrete. I have a very complicated and long story. And wanted to find out if the book is still applicable to me and if I have a chance. I feel like I need a slight adjustment since there are extenuating circumstances.
    My ex and I dated on and off between the ages of 19-21. I had never been in love before and didn’t know that I truly was. But I had commitment issues, and 2011 was a VERY bad year for me. My mom was diagnosed with cancer and had a prophylactic double mastectomy, I lost my job, and I wasn’t in school. Everything spiraled out of control and I felt as if I couldn’t be in a relationship 100% at the time and needed to figure myself out. I took time, reflected, and grew up. My ex, started dating someone not 2 months after we broke up. He’s a serial monogamist. And by the time I figured out what I wanted, how I felt, and got my life back on track, they had been together for several months. I continued to have feelings for him for 3 years, but I missed my best friend. We have always been AMAZING friends. His gf was insecure about me. He’s loyal and an incredible human being, and would never have cheated on her or anything, but she didn’t allow him to have ANY contact with me, even when I occasionally reached out. Fast forward to 2014 (3 years later) I made a bold career move, and moved to a different city across the country on a whim. I knew that my career would be here, I had felt stuck for quite some time where I was, and needed more. So I up and moved. Not even a week later, LinkedIn told me I had a new connection to my ex. I didn’t send a request, so I think it’s just when it sends out to your email address book. I said hello, we chatted a bit, and switched to FB messenger. We got more and more friendly. The feelings were still there for me, but he had a gf in my eyes. His profile photo was still of them. A few days of chatting later, he slipped it in that they had broken up. I felt something in me that I hadn’t felt in a long time. Hope for us. Because I had been convinced that he was going to marry her. He then told that they had planned a 3 year anniversary trip to Universal in Florida, but she broke up with him soon after planning for it and he paid for everything. I told him he should still go. And then I offered, if he wanted company, I’d love to go. We were great friends, and thought it might be a great chance for us to reconnect. He changed everything to my name, and I paid for my own flight. When I finally got there, and we saw each other in person for the first time, it was chemistry like I’ve never felt. We connect on such a deep level, that time only seems to make us better. We were so comfortable around each other, even after 3 years apart. During this trip, we ended up sleeping together, since the trip itself was romantic. I didn’t regret it, because for both of us, sex is something deep and emotional and both of us takes it seriously. When we parted ways, we were constantly texting, and a few days later he told me he missed me. I missed him too. So I invited him to come visit me, since he was still in my hometown. We talked, laughed, facetimed, called, everything. We decided to be exclusive but didn’t want to make it social media official, to respect his ex as far as a time frame since it had only been 3 months. We were so connected, and so into each other. He arrived, and it was magical. We made our relationship public, and it was amazing. We would alternate visiting each other, and when he graduated college, I told him to consider finding a job near me, and that we could live together, because I was committed to him. He agreed, and said he wanted the same thing. He looked, and found an amazing opportunity that allowed him to go back home once a month, since he was concerned he wouldn’t get to see his family very much. He moved out here several months later. We got our own place together about 2 months after that, it was slightly out of our means, but we made it work. We loved being together, we were blissfully happy. We even got a cat a few months later. In June of 2016, we had a talk about looking to the future. I wanted to make sure we were on the same page. He said we were, I told him I wanted to marry him, have his children, and he said he wanted the same thing, and at the time I didn’t know he had asked my mom for her blessing the month before. He proposed 3 months later, since I did make it known I would like to be engaged by the end of the year (we both want kids before we’re 30 and this gives us a good timeline). Cloud nine for weeks. We came up with wedding ideas, and everything, we brainstormed together, but realized we couldn’t afford that kind of wedding, and that my job didn’t allow me to plan something like that. So we became realistic and scaled it back. But in our excited, we thought, “we’re ready, we want to be married, we’re blissfully in love and make each other so happy” So we thought, let’s get married Black Friday (2.5 months after the engagement). I planned to go to home in October for a full weekend of wedding planning with my mom. We were so happy, in our little bubble of bliss. But it turns out, my fiancé was expressing stress and anxiety to his family about planning something so quickly. He never truly understood what planning a wedding entailed, and didn’t communicate with his family about things like the actual date, time, guest, and location yet. So when we posted our blissfully smiling faces when we got our marriage license. Shit hit the fan, for lack of a better phrase. He had made all these plans with me, but hadn’t relayed anything to his family. So that weekend, he came to me and said “I can’t do this without my family.” He’s not the best communicator, and to me that says “I can’t get married without having all 200 of my family there” (we had to shave it down to 100, which was “small” for him) I was crushed, we didn’t have the money for that, and I became heartbroken and hysterical in my grief. I was emotional, and completely illogical trying to bend over backwards to make the wedding happen. I interpreted everything as him wanting to cancel the wedding. We then decided to have a sit down with his parents, and thought they were coming over to discuss details, but they ended up coming to support him backing out of decisions he had made with me. I didn’t coerce him or manipulate him. He struggled with a few things, like the wedding party, and the guest list, but when we talked, he would always agree with me. We ended up cancelling that wedding. I was too devastated to put my heart back into it. We decided to see a counselor, since that weekend was traumatizing and we realized there were things we needed to work on as a couple, like fighting, since we never really had before. I was insecure about his commitment to me since he was unable to give me a date. He has a tendency to put his family first, not our family, he and I. And I always felt second, and less important and the months moved on. I wanted our wedding to be about us. He focussed on who could be there or not. He had the expectation that every single person invited should be able to attend. We tried again, but this time in where we currently live, it was closer, and more convenient for me, since I don’t get a lot of time off for work, I am restricted. He struggled, but tried to focus on us. And whenever we talked things out, he would feel better. We had been going to counseling for several weeks, and he was going back to visit his family for the first time since the blow up and cancelled wedding. The day he was coming back, I knew something was off because he didn’t text me before his flight. That night, I had gone to a concert for one of my favorite bands, where the bartender fed me free shots all night. When I got home, I was hammered. To the point where I don’t remember some things. But he said something along the lines of, “I feel like I’m pushing my family away” and I reacted so poorly. I didn’t stop to listen what he meant, I immediately thought he was cancelling our new plans for the wedding again and putting his family before us/me again. I freaked out. I screamed, I cried, I packed my bags, called my aunt to see if I could stay with her, I threw my ring at him, and said “fuck you and fuck your family”, I made him look at the wedding band I bought for him and the inscription, and made him look at my wedding dress. I did and said so many things I didn’t mean, and just wanted a reaction out of him, to feel wanted and important, but he doesn’t react, he completely shuts down, which made my belligerent state so much more upset. I had a moment of clarity during all of this and after, and handed the ring back to him and said “Only give this back, if you really mean it”. I never got it back, but we continued counseling, I punished myself and I felt as if he was punishing me too. He was distant, and scared, which I understand because I scared myself, and never want to be that person again. It was slow but it seemed to be getting better, we love each other so deeply, and he told me he wanted to figure this out and make it work, but something he struggled with was his self identity. Part of his serial monogamy, is that he has never taken the time between relationships, to be himself, figure out who he is, and really identify who he is as a person, without all the labels of life. He’s been in serious relationships non stop since high school. He lacks a certain level of maturity that I reached several years ago. This past weekend (New Years) we looked at each other and said we could make this work, and we were going to be ok. On January 2nd, he did a complete 180 and said he didn’t think this was going to work. I didn’t see it coming at all. I knew we were shaky, but I thought our love and connection was deep enough to withstand it. He realized he isn’t ready for marriage. He knows he loves me, all of the feelings are still there, and he’s still attracted to me, but he wants to be alone. He doesn’t want to date, or look for a relationship. He truly wants to be alone for the first time in his life. The complicated part is, we live together, and we signed an 18 month lease last month. I even expressed my concerns after the December (2nd) blow up, whether or not we should move forward with it. He said we should, and that it would be a good change of scene and give us more space, since its bigger and is a 1 bedroom. He can afford the apartment on his own, but I do not have the means or the support system here, to break up and move out quickly. I am scheduled to move back to my hometown in 3 weeks. Getting back together, if it happened, would be easy with me there, since we’re both back and forth once a month, and have done long distance before. But I don’t want to be where we currently live and not live in my home with him, and move in with strangers and not have a solid support system. He tells me he isn’t writing off what we have, that he’s not 100% sure we won’t get back together, but doesn’t want me to wait, he wants me to try and move forward. He acknowledges that what we have is very deep, very special, and insanely unique. That we are best friends. But he is 100% sure he can’t be in a relationship right now. Which I respect, because I went through the EXACT reason we broke up 5 years ago, but reversed roles. So I can understand that need, I just don’t know how it could have happened so unexpectedly when we are so deeply interwoven together. I want to know if too much has happened where I don’t have a chance to get him back. How can I adjust the No Contact (on day 3 currently) to living together, at least for the next few weeks, and after I move. I fully believe in us. I know we can make this work, I think he just needs to grow and grow up. I don’t want to lose him, and I know what we have is worth fighting for.
    I really hope to hear back from you. I feel desperate, I am so in love, and don’t want to waste so much amazingness, for a few horrible instances.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 10, 2017 at 3:35 pm

      Hi Kristy,

      follow the advice on this one:
      EBR 027: What To Do If You Live With Your Ex Boyfriend

  7. Lize

    December 28, 2016 at 4:34 am


    After two years the person I thought is my soul-mate broke up with me two days ago. The reason is my fault. What happened was that an ex of mine tried to contact me over message asking how I was doing (a non feelings related conversation and totally innocent converstation) anyways the guy said he was in trouble and like any human being I felt that i I should contact him for that stupid reason and I phoned the ex saying Merry Christmass and I hope everything is ok ( yes well done on me picking Christmass to do it) anyway as I got out of the room talking to the guy for littarly 5 seconds my boyfriend (soul-mate) was standing there asking who i was talking to, out of shock I lied and said I talked to my girl friend and he knew I was lying. It broke his trust and broke his heart and he packed his bags while we were on holiday together. The thing is that about a year and a half ago I broke his trust the same way by trying to hide it and I know it was the worst mistake I could have ever made in my life. I took a plane back home and decided that I should give him some time so I haven’t contacted him so far. Everybody keeps on telling me that I should just give him time and we will be able to work it out but he gave me a reason saying that his trust is broken and he won’t be able to trust me again and he can’t be in a relationship like that. I am broken beond compare, this guy means the world to me and I know once apon a time I ment the world to him. What should I do, give him the week that he is still away on holiday and only contact him when he gets back or should I send a proper apology to him hoping that that might help him clear his mind as well? Please help me try to mend this relationship I feel like my heart is ripped out of my chest..

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 30, 2016 at 3:44 am

  8. Sami

    December 28, 2016 at 3:18 am

    I’m so desperate plz I need ur help. My fiancé just broke up with me and I’m just so hurt cause he was my whole world and he told me I was his it’s just so bad I can’t do anything anymore I had a passion for art and I lost all interest in it after the break up last week. We met online (I’m in Texas and he’s in Nebraska) and about 2 years into our long distance relationship we finally met,then after I few months I stayed with him for a week. Then a few days before Christmas he broke up with me with a single text and I’ve tryed texting him but he’s either ignoring me or blocked my number and it just makes me really scared just thinking about it. Abd I’ve texted him on other apps that we both have but he won’t respond. In his break up text he pretty much broke up with me because he said we are two different (which we arnt really we pretty much like the same things with a slight difference here and there) and that he wants someone that plays video games and loves horror stories. Now I like video games and I do play them but not as much as him and I’m honestly not into the horror stories he’s into. I know this is my fault for not taking more interest in the things he was interested in and in trying now and I’ve told him this which he probably didn’t see (I’m playing games more and listening to the stories he likes) but I just want him back so bad….. I can’t stop crying,I’m crying several times a day and I’m so upset that I barley eat. I talk to his sister and when she saw him she said he looked a little sad and not himself. I just don’t know what to do……. there’s no way for me to get through to him since he’s ignoring my messages. I was getting my GEd for him and we were planing on moving in together and that day he was just fine and telling me he loved me and then later that day he broke up with me….. he broke up with me last week on Wednesday and we were together almost 3 years…… and I’m 19 and he’s 20….

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 29, 2016 at 4:29 pm

      Hi Sami,

      I think it’s more because he realized both of you are too young to get married. Stop making your world revolve around a boy. Improve and grow for yourself. Are you going to do the no contact rule?

  9. Crys218525

    December 27, 2016 at 8:46 am

    I met my guy online just over a month ago, we’re early 30’s and we live in different cities. It has been an insanely intense connection, like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. To give you some extra information that I think makes this situation unique I’ll tell you that I’m Bipolar and he’s ADHD. So I know what it’s like to feel extreme intensity, even when not warranted. This goes beyond anything I thought possible, unless I stopped taking my medication that is. We openly discussed how strong our connection was and we were on the same page every step of the way. We spent an insane amount of time talking, texting, skyping. About an average 10-15 per day, so you can imagine how deep the conversations became and how much we learned about eachother.

    Everything felt right, but when I looked at it using the typical societal views on ‘proper’ timeline it was going way too fast. So I panicked and started looking for a reason that this wouldn’t work out. I attacked him by stating that he wasn’t going to achieve any of his goals because he wasn’t taking any steps towards them at this moment. I didn’t know until after that he had issues with past girlfriends accusing him of lying, among other things and he has not healed from this. As soon as this all happened he withdrew, said he needed time to sort out his feelings. I told him to take all the time he needed but after 8 days I gave in a called him. He said he still didn’t know what he wanted, but he was coming to my city to visit his children in a few days so he agreed to meet me then. This was our first time seeing eachother in person (which happened to be on my birthday). I spent a few hours over 2 days with him but we didn’t discuss much. He told me about some stressful events that were going on in his life and that he wasn’t able to “go there” to deal with our issue. I was too afraid to push for any answers incase he’d feel too pressured and tell me he didn’t want to see me again. I could see how overwhelmed he was so I let it be.

    We left it with him saying “I’ll see you later” and I haven’t heard from him other than his reply to my Merry Christmas text (which was 2 days after I saw him). Since I’m still on the dating site where we met I can see that he views my profile daily, sometimes more than once. I’m trying not to read into this because I don’t know if it means anything. I haven’t contacted him since xmas because I don’t know what to say and I don’t want to ruin any chance I might have. I’ve never been one to chase or ‘give in’ emotionally for anyone in the past, nor have I felt a connection anywhere near this with anyone else. So this time I want to fight. Not sure where to go from here…

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 29, 2016 at 11:06 am

      Hi Crys,

      since you only had a short time ..if you are going to do the no contact rule, I think you should just do 21 days..

  10. Holly Evans

    December 26, 2016 at 11:02 am

    Hey Chris, I’m officially 10 days into the no-contact period which was initiated 2 weeks after I broke up with my first and only partner of 2 years. I’ve had depression since I was 12, we are both 20 now and after seeking medical help after the breakup, I began to see and behave more rationally. I lost my feelings for him and couldn’t figure out why at the time. During this NC, I realised it was because we were all about each other and neglected other facets of our lives such as our careers. My eyes wondered to another guy, but it was because he seemed to have ambition and drive – a quality my partner and I both sacrificed. I figured we never had a proper shot at resolving the issue since we couldn’t figure out why I didn’t feel the same, I do know what it is now. I regret breaking from him. I did beg and cry over the phone and only got his icy silences as a reply, but he said that he wants to be single for a while and work on himself (“to go where the river takes me”). He says he still has feelings for me but he doesn’t know how long it will take for him to come around or even decide if he wants to be with me again. I gave him an ultimatum: to either have me or let me go, but he broke down. I did NC with him because every time I saw him, he’d still be initmate and want to kiss me and hug me and hold me and it confused the heck out of me because he said he wants to be single. I haven’t had sex with him; I did NC without telling him before it got out of hand. I hate feeling like I was being used. I didn’t want to defeat the purpose of being in a relationship with him by letting him do hide the things couple would normally do; it’s not fair for me. He told me it was just going to be him by himself, he claimed had no time interests in dating. We barely ever fought, we were like one person we were so much alike – I just want to know if we have a chance, if so, how much? Do you think, based off what I’ve described, he would move on quickly or he might have met someone judging by his mixed signals?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 29, 2016 at 2:54 am

      Hi Holly,
      I think you have a chance. Both of you need space to have a restart…

  11. Trish

    December 26, 2016 at 1:23 am

    Hello. My boyfriend and i had a lot of multiple break ups and this time it seems like it’s the final break up.. He was the one who broke up with me. He said that he’s already fed up with fights and that he wants peace of mind. I know he’s been going a lot of problems lately. I tried to apologize as much as i could. I have begged him to give me another chance but he said “enough already” . Now i’m starting to give him time and space (NC). We’ve been through a lot.. on and off’s . i just want to know if there’s still anything i can do to make him come back to me.. or is it really over and that i already need to move on..

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 28, 2016 at 4:53 pm

      Hi Trish,

      I was going to suggest a different post, but I saw you commented there too.. are you going to follow the advice there?

  12. Simone

    December 13, 2016 at 12:05 am

    My ex and I were dating for 9 years. I was clingy, had low self esteem, needy and jealous. The break up was shocking, he took a week and a half to tell me if he wanted space or if he wanted a break up. He was chatting with an 18 year old. He was telling me he doesn’t love me anymore and when he hug me he said he wish he could feel by there is nothing, he withdrew from me emotionally 2 months before we broke up. When I was packing his stuff I found something he wrote that he didn’t find me attractive. After the break up I was trying to convince him and did testing terrorism until he said to text him only when it’s business related. So did one week no contact and called to talk to him about the outstanding bill I was still upset and sent a text to apologize. He called next day and he was upset and sent a text apologizing. I did 2 weeks no contact and called yesterday since he been telling ppl that I wasn’t paying him attention and also thinks I do by love him. So I called and ask if we can meet weekend to talk and he said yes. He still have stuff at my place and he coming to pick some up. Today I went to his work to get my keys from him because he still had my keys. He couldn’t look at me but did when he hand me my keys, I was acting happy. He said so whenever I needn’t get something from the house inbred to contact you and I replied yes I am paying the rent and so I went and havnt made contact however he said he will come weekend.

    My ex came over for some of his stuff was amazed how the house looked, I did some rearranging. He said twice that the house looks nice and that I looked happy and then stated that he was probably the one holding me back. He said this about 2 times, the second time he said it I ask why he is saying something like that and he said he said he know perhaps he just feels guilty and so I told him that he wasn’t holding me back and then he notice I had a mini burn on my hand and ask me what happened I told him I got burnt from the stove. And so I got ready while he was checking his email on the computer, pretending that I was going out and he ask if I’m going some where and I said yes. And then I tease him a bit about his hair since he havnt. After that he said I looked happy and I said I am, that stuff got shift these pass weeks. And when he came out the gate walking on the road he said it again that I looked happy and I said I am. And so since he doesn’t have FB I texted him suggesting he get a fb account and add me, personally it would have been good if he saw some stuff I posted. Anyway he respond and said
    ”U look happy and like u trying to take care of yourself that’s good. And no thanks i don’t like fb. I forgot to ask does my friend mother still have that place for rent?”
    “I hate being by the apartment feel like a kid there. i just need a place and some time to myself to let out my rage and sadness the way i want I’ve been holding back since they in the house all the time ”

    I did something stupid, so my cousin and been searching net and she found something called the Second chance letter and so I wrote one and gave him when he came to pick up some of his clothing. I wrote it just as explained, saw a sample and did it that way, In the beginning I put that I accepted the break up and then apologize that I didn’t showed that I appreciated him and then the part stating that good things been happening and someday would like to tell him about it but right now we both still needing space.

    The next day in the morning, he texted and said he read it and doesn’t mind sitting down and talking someday. Then in the night he sent a text asking me if he can ask me something and I said okay sure.

    “Why do u want me back? What is it about me that u love so much? and he feels like he wasn’t doesn’t his best as a partner as well.

    I respond to him that it would be best to talk in person about it when he is ready and then I got to go.

    I havnt texted him since nor have he reached out. Sigh I guess blow this , What to do now, surely feeling stuck to win him back. I shouldnt have done the letter because now he knows I want him back sigh this sucks. Not sure how to reverse that either.

    Timeline of contact & no contact.

    After the break up we went one week no contact and the week after that on a Monday I initiate contact so that he but his half the pay the bills. The Tuesday he initiated contact that he have paid his half. It was more a business conversation. On Wednesday was my birthday and he initiated contact through text to enjoy my day

    On the 22 he initiated contact that he was coming by the house, I didn’t answer and 29 of November he initiated contact again Stating he was coming by the house I didn’t answer. The reason I didn’t respond was because he at the time he had my house keys so he had access, whenever he wants. He sent another text on the 29th Asking if I had paid a bill only then I respond. During this same week, I knew he was angry since his coworker told me that they didn’t kiss, since her called got transferred to my phone and I ask her and she told him that I ask her. He then called me 7 times back to back but I didn’t answer. I went 2 weeks no contact although he was the one to contact.

    On the 1st December I initiated contact asking if we could talk just to tell him what’s going on that when he came to the house for the clothing.

    Since Monday December 5 2016 he haven’t reach out and so I sent a text 10 December “you are truly one for a kind, unique in every way. I am so glad I met you because there is nobody else like you in the world”

    and today I2 December I sent ” You changed me in positive ways that I am still just starting to understand”
    I got no response, should I cut off contact, or have I just blow my chances of getting him back. Sigh

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 14, 2016 at 12:54 pm

      HI Simone,

      The texts last dec 10 and 12 were sent after the letter or before? Because even without the letter, that really shows you want him back because it was a personal text. And to be honest, repeated no contact period will work less over time. If you are going to restart it this time,make it really seem like you get the message, you’re going out and dating others and moving on.

  13. Mimi

    December 6, 2016 at 5:05 am

    We are co -worker same company but we are in different teams. We have been together more than 4 years. We were mutal broke up 2 weeks before my ex went back to his country. Broke up reason is common i.e Fight more often, no more connection, lost attraction etc. On top of it i am a single mom. His family & friends dont know about it excepts his 2 bestfriends. We were still texting & became close again on the 1st week. Statred on 2nd weeks he became cold & distant from me. after 3 weeks vacations., He told me he is in new relationship and is serious with the girl who live in his country. He wanted us offically broke up. I agreed with his decision. I started no contact right the way. I am in 3rd week of Nc. In my situation i know we wont have a happy ending because his family wont accept the fact that i am a single mom. I am also older than him 2 years. It was totally shocking and dont know why he could change that quick. We said he want us to keep in toucc but today he blocked my contact from his phone. I found out because i have emergency issue. Is this grass greener symtom? Is he in rebound relationship.?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 9, 2016 at 3:10 am

      Hi Mimi,

      More like a rebound. How old are you both? If you know that he’s family’s opinion matters to him, how do you plan on getting him back?

  14. Holly

    December 2, 2016 at 9:51 pm

    I started dating my ex earlier this year, but neither of us were ready for a relationship. We dated casually for 2-3 months before it fizzled out. There were no hard feelings on either side, it just wasn’t the right time for either of us. After a month of no talking, we randomly started talking again and about a month after that we started dating exclusively.
    At this time, he had just started part-time grad school along with working full time, which was definitely stressful and took a toll on his free time and sleep. We were together exclusively for 3.5 months, making plans for things in the future (ie. weddings, birthdays, trips), met each other’s friends and families, zero fights, very affectionate with each other, shared similar interests, values and life goals.
    A week or two before we broke up, it felt like he was pulling away a little, but being behind with school and work, I assumed it was just stress. He was also sick for the 2 weeks leading up to the break up and on antibiotics. When I finally approached him that something felt off, he agreed and said he felt himself pulling away but couldn’t understand why. We talked about it and he told me that his gut tells him I’m not forever, which is something he ignored in his previous relationships. This feeling only came up in the last 1-2 weeks (which have been the most stressful and busiest, along with him being sick), and I’m hoping this is more about stress than him not feeling it. Since we broke up (2 days ago), I have not talked to him and am doing NC for 30 days. Do you think there’s a chance after the craziness of the holidays and school calms down, he’ll want me back? Also my 30 days will end on NYE but that feels like a desperate time to end NC – should I wait a few days past that?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 3, 2016 at 3:15 pm

      Hi holly,

      yeah, it would be better if you extend a week after nye before initiating.. I think there’s still a chance.. Yes, it can all be because of the stress..

  15. Cass

    November 30, 2016 at 9:24 pm

    My boyfriend of a year recently broke up with me. We had an amazing relationship and never once fell out of love with each other. Towards the final months, the arguing increased and he felt like I got mad at him over everything he did or said. We did not have a nasty break up (though there was lots of crying from the both of us). He did not want to break up but felt as if we needed to work on ourselves before we could be happy with one another. He said I made him happy there was just a lot of stress that neither one of us needed at the time. He is about to graduate from college. We both agreed to not have any contact with each other anytime soon. He is my bestfriend. We spent every single day together and loved each other very much. I am devistated. I feel like it’s hard to function because we did everything together and everything I do reminds me of him. Do I have any chance? What do I do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 30, 2016 at 10:38 pm

      HI Cass,

      Yeah, I do think you have a chance.. Do you want to try the no contact rule!

  16. ZL

    November 30, 2016 at 11:19 am


    My ex have just broken up with me today.
    It was probably 3 weeks ago where I found out that her interaction with me isn’t that sporty as usual, thus I have asked her last week and she told me that her feelings have faded.
    We didn’t had any quarrel prior to this, our usual quarrel was from her stating that I have a “Male chauvinism” character and she thought that instead of bearing it, why not end it now?.
    I do admit that I promised to change after quarrel, but when things gotten back, complacency gotten back in me.

    We were once talking about marriage and future, but ended up in such situation. Is getting back this relationship possible?

    1. zl

      December 1, 2016 at 3:50 pm

      Yes, I’m trying to do it, meanwhile have to keep myself calm as well i guessed

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 2, 2016 at 12:42 am

      Yes, and you need to improve yourself too.

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 30, 2016 at 9:40 pm

      Hi ZL,

      yeah, it’s possible. Do you want to try the no contact rule?

  17. George

    November 25, 2016 at 10:19 pm

    My girlfriend just recently decided that we needed to take a break, because I lied to her. We also just moved into a new place almost a month ago, and decided that we will stay living together but sleep in different bedrooms and just do our own thing for a while to see if we can get back to a place where we were once happy and so she can trust in me again. We have talked about every scenario possible. I was just wondering what you thought my chances might be with this particular situation?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 27, 2016 at 7:08 pm

      Hi George,

      I think you still have a chance, given that she still wants to live with you. Check this one too:
      EBR 027: What To Do If You Live With Your Ex Boyfriend

  18. Lara

    November 8, 2016 at 5:48 pm

    Hello,me and my ex were in Ldr for 11 months. We broke up 3 months ago because of things i never properly accepted about him from day one and just petty stuff. When we broke it seemd like he forced himself to leave me. He told me he wanted to stay with me for many more years but we arent meant to be and his feelings have been fading and we will never be together again and such and i begged and he cried and i cried. Then days aftee i still begged him to take me back which i know is bad. But then i decided to do no contact which was very hard bc we use to talk every single day. Everymonth atleast once he would say somrthing like saying he hopes im doing well or somethjng like that.after 3 months we finally talked properly and and got the chance to explain myself for my reasons and to apologise for exagerrating with things and such and he said he had also exagerrated with things. So we had a decent talk and got to sort out the major issues between us and we are now friends and he said he is glad at the changes that have happened in me. But i still want him back.what should i do now? My guy friend said it could be possible that we could get back together again but i dont want to get my hopes high too much. My ex once told me he wants to do his own thjng for a while before thinking of jumping into another relationship.any advise ?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 12, 2016 at 12:22 am

      Hi Lara,

      how much did you improve from the last 3 months? And how did you talk about his relationship views? Did you ask him if he wants to get back together?

  19. CChan

    November 6, 2016 at 6:27 am

    I recently broke up with my boyfriend, I was the one that broke up with him in anger, I didn’t want to I was upset with him, but he said he doesn’t want me to come back, I pleaded to make up since I was the one that left him so I thought it was the right thing to do for me to be the one to make up. He was really committed to me even found the promise ring to put on me. After I pleaded for another chance after I broke his trust of leaving him every time I get upset (4times total but we get back the next day or two afterward), we are 4hrs long distance apart which is not a big problem because we could still see each other often when we can. Anyway after we had a heart felt conversation about everything 5days ago he said he can give me another chance but we have to start over as a “date” not in a relationship, it still hurt me knowing there’s no guarantee if we ever get back together. He still said “I love you” and I still love him. I heard of no contact rule as well can this still apply to my situation? what if he’s doing the same thing? I am so lost and confused…..What can I do? or just what to do?
    We dated for about 4 months but he fell very hard for me and was very committed, talked about marrying me and have our own family. We have alot of common interests and have done so much traveling together in just short time. It has been 5 days we are still friends on Facebook, Instagram, all our pictures are still on each other’s timelines. He motivated me so much to be a better version of myself, I am working on myself, I have work, online school for my degree, gym and other hobbies I would do to distract myself. But it still wouldn’t stop me from wondering if we are ever going to get back together because I love him so much…..We don’t cheat, I am not needy, also we don’t get jealous/insecure. I have all the qualities he needed in a woman to be married to (I am 26 he is 28) but I have flaws and anger that controls my actions. What is my chance of getting back with my ex ?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 7, 2016 at 12:30 pm

      Hi Cchan,

      you have a good chance..I think he just got tired.. So avoid getting angry

  20. K

    November 3, 2016 at 2:54 am

    My boyfriend of 4.5 years and I have broken up twice before; the first time was because of miscommunication and leaving the house as a way to end arguments plus work stress after about 3 years. It lead to me moving out for a week but us soon getting back together since we decided to move as a couple altogether. The move affected my boyfriend negatively. He got a new job, but wouldn’t make new friendships or go out to do anything socially. He would stay inside and play video games in his late 20s for hours. This frustrated me since I didn’t want to distract him from gaming, but once he started it felt like I shouldn’t interrupt him, and I didn’t want to go out to parties on my own at night. It got to the point where I started resenting him since I felt trapped. I pulled away. Eventually it lead to a big blow up fight about him saying why should he stay, and out of frustration I told him to then go. He moved back to the original town we met in where his friends are at and we attempted to try long distance a week after his moving away. It fizzled out from work stress on my side now, but at the risk of sounding like a broken record, I want him or “us” back. The long distance ending was almost three months ago of us not talking besides a hope you’re well” text. Now that I feel mentally rebuilt and want to try again… I realise he’s the only man I want to work hard at being with everyday but he might not be interested. I’m visiting him next week on the pretext of seeing friends and getting some of my old things back. When I told him I was excited to see him he said good and that he was interested in me still, but not ready for a relationship. What should my next step be? I want to be hopeful and just quit my current job and move back to start a life with him again, but I don’t want to scare him away by jumping back into relationship mode too fast. What do I do from here?

    1. K

      November 3, 2016 at 2:57 am

      I’m sorry I didn’t see that my original post actually posted

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 3, 2016 at 1:18 pm

      Hi K,

      just be friendly when you meet him.. take it as a chance for a kickstart in texting him when you go back to your place..from there slowly build rapport through texting and calls and then meet ups later on

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