Mistakes Women Make When Trying To Get An Ex Boyfriend Back

542 thoughts on “Common Mistakes Women Make When Trying To Get An Ex Boyfriend Back”

dee

October 30, 2013 at 12:28 pm

Question… I remember you stating in one of these articles that your ex called you begging to get back with you four days after the breakup, which caused her to “lose all value” to u or something along those lines. Did she ever gain her “value” back? Have you ever gotten back with an ex that initially pleaded for u to get back with her? What exactly did she do that made u want to be back with her?

admin

October 30, 2013 at 9:38 pm

I don’t remember saying she begged me back I remember saying she called me and was the first to break the NC and she lost value in my eyes b/c of that.

It was one of those types of deals where I thought “I win, I made her contact me first.”

I would never take back a begging ex though b/c it is almost like it hammers home the point of “oh, thats why I broke up with her she is totally desperate.”

Guys can be cruel huh?
dee

October 30, 2013 at 11:37 pm

no YOU are lol not my ex though lol 🙂
I don’t see it as desperate. I’ve had guys try hard to get me back after I’ve dumped them but I don’t see it as desperate at all. I just see it as “I REALLLLYYYYYY want to be with u.” Women are probably not in the right emotional state when doing it but it’s still not desperate. How is it desperate if someone tries really hard to get back with someone they really love/care for? Even if they do plead by saying “give me one more chance” or whatever. just my opinion 🙂
admin

October 31, 2013 at 7:12 pm

Hey feel free to criticize me any time. I am definitely not perfect.

I suppose it just has to do a lot with how women approach the situation. When they beg they are really overemotional and that turns almost every guy off when he starts thinking “I will have to put up with this if I date her over and over and over again.”
dee

October 31, 2013 at 9:55 pm

Yes you’re right.
And no I’m not criticizing you dear 🙂 I was just joking wit ya 🙂 🙂 🙂
Thanks so much for your help 🙂
admin

November 1, 2013 at 6:18 pm

Well don’t be afraid to criticize me. I am a big boy I can handle criticism.

Jennifer

October 29, 2013 at 9:35 pm

Hello Chris
We broke up 20 days ago,but it is the 10th day of my nc.
His birthday is in few days,should I congratulate him?
I am scared that if I will not he will think that I definitely moved on and will move on too.

admin

October 30, 2013 at 4:12 am

Nope I wouldn’t break NC for his Bday.
Jennifer

October 30, 2013 at 5:13 am

I know he is waiting me to call him or congrutulate him …
If I will not will he take it as I really moved on and he should forget me?or what?
admin

October 30, 2013 at 9:20 pm

I doubt it I think he would be thinking about you more and wondering why you haven’t called yet.
Jennifer

October 31, 2013 at 2:03 pm

So ,not to break up the bc rule ?
But I am really very scared that he will move on if he decides I do:s
I am scared what to do?
admin

October 31, 2013 at 8:08 pm

I think deep down you know what to do but you are sacred to do it.
Jennifer

October 31, 2013 at 8:57 pm

I want him to fight for me
I am really done of fixing every time everything even when he is wrong
But at the same time I am scared not to congrtulute him
I am really very lost :s
admin

November 1, 2013 at 6:15 pm

Well, take a stand. Don’t fix everything every time. It is time for him to grow up and take responsibility.
Jennifer

November 2, 2013 at 7:31 am

He talked to me this morning and wished me to have a nice day ,I know this was a huge step from him
I didn’t answer
Was it right ?
admin

November 2, 2013 at 7:24 pm

If you were in NC and didn’t answer yes you were right.
Jennifer

November 2, 2013 at 3:50 pm

And he blocked me again

Catarina

October 27, 2013 at 4:00 pm

Hey!

First of all, I might be in the wrong page, but I’ll try to be quick.
My boyfriend and I have a 5 years old relationship, but he broke up once. We’ve been together for a year now but we’ve had terrible fights in the last month, so he asked for space. He said he didn’t want to break up, but he was not able to believe things were going to be alright at this point. The thing is he said he wanted to spend time with me and talk, to take things slowly so we could understand if we were better together or not.
I’m sooo scared! What do I do?

admin

October 27, 2013 at 11:00 pm

Well, I would do the NC rule if I was you.

sunflowerdays

October 25, 2013 at 4:56 am

Hi Chris,

Thanks for writing this guide and all the other ones. It gives women like us great insight into the male’s mind and very valuable information.

I now realized I made a mistake with the ultimatum.
Basically me and my ex got into a fight, and he wanted a “break” to decide if he still wants to be with me or not, I reluctantly agreed and he knew I didn’t want that. He says the break would be for about 2 weeks.

Anyways, 12 days into the break, I got impatient because in my mind it doesn’t take that long to decide whether he wants me or not, he already had 12 days of silence. So I decided to send him a text saying that the break is over and if he wants to talk to me then he can talk to me within the next day or two. No response. No response until exactly on the two week mark where he texted me and said that it was fair that I didn’t wait for him. (Meaning its over between us). Since then he hasn’t really been responding and acted totally disconnected.

Is there anythung I can do? I’ve already started my NC for almost 10 days now. I know you said the quick fix is to text him but I think it’s too late for that now….? Did I ruin everything?
I haven’t called him once since we broke up.

admin

October 26, 2013 at 5:06 pm

Yup, ultimatums can be pretty bad.

NC is your best bet at this piont and you are doing that. Really work on yourself during that time also.

Help!

October 20, 2013 at 8:16 pm

Hi chris!

Firstly your articles are great – the best online by far!

I only wish I had come across them sooner. I have made so many of the mistakes you have written about that I’m thinking I now have no chance whatever of getting back with my ex 🙁

I’m in day 13 of the NC rule. My ex has made no attempt to contact me. I made I suppose what could be deemed as a grand gesture. His reaction to it was exactly as u said he thinks I’m a psycho.

You recommend 60 days if no contact – I’ve struggled just with 13! Do you think after 30 I can try texting him the ‘I have a confession’ text or do u think that as he currently has such a low opinion of me that I should really wait 60? Or if I should just give up cos it’s going to be so hard to get him to feel and see me as the girl he once was so attracted too.

I miss loads and just want to make things right 🙁

admin

October 20, 2013 at 9:21 pm

Best online so far! You have NO IDEA how much that means to me b/c every time I write something that is exactly what I am thinking.

Sure you can try after 30 days. BUT grand gestures tend to be a set back and its a shame too b/c a lot of times grand gestures come from the heart. I do think 60 days is ideal BUT you can try to test him out at 30 days.
Help!

November 13, 2013 at 9:09 pm

Hi chris – it’s me again! So it’s day 37 and I’ve still not made Any contact with him. I want to try but at the same time I’m scared that I won’t get a response which will really really hurt. Just before I started nc my ex said he was seeing someone And didn’t want me messaging him anymore. This was so unexpected. I don’t know for sure if there is truth to it.

Guess I’m messaging you to know that if my ex doesn’t text me back should I give him more space or do u think its wise to let him go?

I know u say us ladies shouldn’t feel sorry for ourselves but I just can’t help kicking myself for all this mistakes I made. :/
admin

November 14, 2013 at 6:38 pm

I say you shouldn’t feel sorry for yourselves b/c kicking yourself for the mistakes you made is not going to benefit you in any way. Rather LEARN from the mistakes you made.

Whether or not to message him back or give him space is entirely up to you. BUT I will say that your case may take a bit longer.
Help!

November 18, 2013 at 6:20 pm

So a decided to bite the bullet and message my ex yesterday (day 41). I sent a text that i thought would provoke a response. It worked. He did reply. Didnt keep me waiting long however his response was neutral and little bit cheeky to my final text.I know I have to be patient and remain calm. It’s really hard not to call him and say how sorry I am for being stupid. But it didnt work last time so I know I have to try ur approach now! My question is what next?! Should I keep messaging him every few days, should I leave it a week as he gave a neautral response. What should I text him about next time? Some more guidance would be much appreciated chris. :s
admin

November 19, 2013 at 5:38 pm

Hmm wait around 3-5 days and message again. REally focus on getting that positive response.

Nicole

October 19, 2013 at 7:08 pm

Should you contact him after the new contact rule of 30 days even though he told you he needed space and to find himself and said that maybe in a couple we can catch up or try again.? I haven’t said anything to him since the day of the break up on the phone and it’s been a wewk. I’m usually the one that likes talking and he knows I like texting and talking to him. He figured I prob be calling him now and school but I haven’t and even took myself off all the social sites after this and do he won’t know what I’m up to. We dated for 3 years. Am I doing all this right?

admin

October 19, 2013 at 9:06 pm

Perfectly so far!

Paula

October 18, 2013 at 12:53 pm

Hi Chris, I took your advice and I ended up getting my ex boyfriend back. Everything was great for a few weeks, but now he’s been “cooling off.” He hasn’t been texting me as much and when he does it’s kind of short. He has been posting things about mixed signals and about being replaced. When I ask him if he’s okay he insists he’s fine. I asked about the picture about feeling replaced, I asked why he posted it and he replied because it’s true? I asked if it was about anybody specific and he said “should it be?” I texted him good morning and no response, I know he has seen it too. I don’t want to lose him again.

admin

October 18, 2013 at 7:09 pm

🙁 Well, try taking him on a date. Do something that can create a strong emotional memory for the two of you.

Elle

October 14, 2013 at 9:50 am

Hey again. Posted on another blog you wrote. I mean what I’ve described of my relationship is rather condensed because I’m sure you read this stuff all the time! Anyways, if we do go 30 days without contacting… or maybe a month and a half… how do we know if they will contact us? I’ve basically done everything on this page (sadly) and I wouldn’t doubt he is not contacting me for various reasons aside from hurt, confusion, revenge, and a lot of resentment. I guess that is why you said we could contact them after time has passed? Or should I wait a little longer with NC? I mean, when I do contact him, even though I sense LOADS of bitterness and he is rather cold, he usually writes more than just a sentence. And maybe he is uncertain to a degree about what he wants, who fricken knows…but how do I know if I am waiting too long? I think right about now we have been broken up a month and I contacted him literally yesterday.. although we haven’t been doing the NC rule except it would go maybe a week or a couple of days.
Tera

October 10, 2013 at 3:28 am

Ok so here goes…

My ex and I have been really great friends for roughly 7 years now. I’ve known him since middle school and we are both now 28! He has lived in VA for much of the time me in CO. Other women and lying and cheating has also entered the picture in the past. Causing me on many occasions enforcing my own NC rules!

He as of Sept this year has moved back to CO due to getting a new job and now making amazing money, upon his finding this out he enforced that we try again. Things were ok for a day or two and I think all the sudden changing psyched him out bad!!

He has pulled the MIA action a few times and I painfully admit to doing many of your DO NOTS! I have done the anger text fights to get reaction and response, often sparking anger in him and making him run further away :-/ On Oct 3rd (my bday no less) he has not talked to me at that point for about 3 days. I got soooo angry he had not said a word to me on my one day of the year that I lost my cool and pushed for explanation.

We ended up seeing each other that night but earlier that day had ended the relationship yet again and this time his reply being ” I thought I could do it, but I cant. We are in two different places in life. I need to sort my life out and grow roots here, I need to be alone.” I don’t know if this is code for we are done forever, if its a code at all or if there’s others?? We have always been super intense with our connection so for me its hard especially with him now being only 30 mins away!! After the past few years he has always come back and always contacted me first in every ugly situation we have ever encountered and I fear this one wont be the same as the past? I know that cant be read just by this but do you think its even worth my trying to get his attention again at some point? After the NC rule of course… I hope it doesn’t sound as crazy as it reads!!

admin

October 10, 2013 at 6:04 pm

Heck yes I do!

And I don’t think it sounds crazy to read at all.
Tera

October 10, 2013 at 3:46 am

I forgot to mention that he has made contact since Oct 3rd (the breakup) He has texted quite a few times and not always with my initiation, I know that I MUST start my NC and like yesterday but I just wonder if it’ll do any good. He always came back every time in the past but this just feels really terrible since he is now in the same state! :-/
admin

October 10, 2013 at 6:08 pm

Well, what did you do when he would usually come back?

Jess

October 9, 2013 at 2:41 pm

Okay so past few days I have stopped trying to get back with my ex, telling him that if he doesn’t want to be together then that’s fine and I will move on with my life, even though deep down I don’t want to. He has stated that he knows I won’t move on. He stated that he is not moving back in right now but who knows what the future holds once again, it’s like he is trying to keep me around. It’s so hard having our daughter and going through this, I want to punch him in the face lol a dose of reality maybe. And I have made one if the mistakes by sleeping with him after we broke up but am not doing it currently and he has asked, can we make love? I’m so lost with this guy it’s like he’s battling himself. He knows what he has but is to stubborn to admit it. Help me please, am I crazy for wanting this?

admin

October 10, 2013 at 1:31 am

I think you are good to cut off the FWB stuff. Don’t get trapped into that black hole.

Have you tried NC?

darla

October 8, 2013 at 3:42 am

My boyfriend and I broke up almost a year ago (last november) after dating for 3 years in college because he had to move back home after college and we are in different states and sometimes countries as his parents live overseas. We also had some issues with his family, as his dad wanted him to work for him in Africa and they admitted to being jealous of our relationship bc they felt they didnt get enough time with him while he was in college bc we spent so much time together. He broke up with me over an email while overseas in Africa becuase he had no clue when he was coming back and he was looking for a job. They ultimately told him they didn’t think I was the one after they gave him their blessing to marry me (they said he could have their blessing if he spent time with them in Africa, he went and then they said I wasnt the one). he and I were both devastated. We talked on and off for at least 6 months after the break up skypeing etc when he came back to the states.I probably should have not talked to him since he broke up with me but the situation was very confusing with the distance and seemed out of “our” control. I went to visit him in April, and he told told me he still loved me and missed me but he didnt know how to marry me. He asked to take me on a date we went and he tried to kiss me before i left but I told him no that he couldnt kiss me if he wasnt my boyfriend. I really just went to see him to have real closure on the relationship since he had been overseas so long. He told me the issues with our break up had to do with him being dependent on his parents and feeling like they had control of him because he was still looking for a job and he didn’t want to be in a relationship with so much uncertainty with work but that he had a desire to make it work. We contacted each other a few times after that visit and he questioned me about lots of things that happened years ago and just wasnt very nice. His dad came to visit him one weekend and he ultimately told me shortly after that he didn’t want a girlfriend right now and he didnt want to talk. I sent him a “love email” but then apologized and told him ok I respect him telling me that and that I hope all goes well for him and his family. I apologized for not just leaving him alone the minute he first broke up with me. He told me he thought i was amazing and beautiful and that he hoped God blessed me with a wonderful husband who could meet all of my needs because I deserved to be happy and he said he felt really blessed to have been a part of my life. I took that as the end of our relationship and never responded becuase I didnt know what to say. It seemed like he made up his mind. Three months later (about 2 weeks ago) he sent me a message on Facebook (even thought i defriended him) and it said “i miss listening to you talk, I hope God is blessing you daily.” I didnt respond because honestly he has already rejected me and I just feel like if he really misses listening to me talk he will call me or come visit me. I really love him and miss him and we talked about marriage very seriously in college and after college. Sometimes he told me he couldnt talk to me or skype me becuase he wanted me so bad and knew he couldnt have me yet. I have been really devastated by it all but Im just not sure how to communicate with him or if thats a good idea since he already broke up with me it makes me feel like when times get hard he will jump ship or choose his parents over me which i never want him to feel like he has to be in a situation like that. Even though it has been a few weeks should i say anything back or just keep waiting to see if he takes bigger steps. Ultimately, I feel like if I am “the one” he will stand up to his parents and take a leap of faith. If not, and I don’t respond it will just fade away and I wont hear from him again and we will both have to keep moving forward. Thanks for your input.

admin

October 9, 2013 at 1:42 am

I hate hearing situations like this where parents get in the middle of a relationship.

I think the question you have to answer is “is he even worth getting back?” Is your life better with him in it?

Jenny

October 4, 2013 at 11:50 pm

I made the mistake of breaking up with my ex after dating for almost 5 years. He was my first serious boyfriend and the next step was marriage but I started to have doubts and felt like I should explore more before settling down forever. We broke up but both decided to stay friends. After about 6 months, I asked him back but he had started dating someone new. At first, he seemed certain that he did not want to get back together…THen he started to say that he was confused and wasn’t sure if he still loved me or not. He didn’t want to cut ties though and asked for us to stay friends. I had a hard time not contacting him so I basically broke all the rules and did the crazy texting, begging, calling, etc. Every time I brought up getting back together he would say “not now or Im too mad about it right now” which made me think that with time he would take me back….but it hasn’t happened yet and I think I pushed him away with all my craziness. So after a few fights, we both agreed to stay friends as long as I kept calm and didn’t bring up getting back together again. For the past month now, we kept our conversations casual. Some days I would text first but other days he would. Its strange though because he would bring up our past memory and also text me late at night…I am not sure what to do at this point. Do I just keep in contact with him and just don’t bring up getting back together? or do I do the NC rule? BTW…he is still with his new gf who recently moved so is now in a long distance relationship. Im so lost…

admin

October 5, 2013 at 4:42 am

Hmm… you have a lot of history so that will work in your favor.

The LDR that he has probably won’t last. Statistics are in your favor there but I would recommend doing LC or NC. Whatever suits you best.
Jenny

October 5, 2013 at 6:03 am

relationships are so complicated 🙁 . I am thinking I should just not be the one contacting first and when he texts me limit the responses. I really liked your tip about being the one to end the conversation because I feel like he has been having 99% of the control. Hopefully its a good sign that after all the crazies I’ve done he is still wanting to keep in touch. Thank you!
admin

October 6, 2013 at 12:01 am

Absolutely! Don’t be a stranger.
Jenny

October 6, 2013 at 2:19 pm

after a few days (4?) of me not texting him..he texted me yesterday. Again, just a casual conversation that ended pretty quickly. Just when I am about to end the conversation first…he does it. Arrrghhhhh. Sometimes I think he really just wants to be “friends” with me. His relationship with his new GF is lasting longer than I had thought (about 8 months). How should I be responding to his random casual texts? LIke I don’t care or really friendly? The conversation is usually about music and movies….then occasionally about our past memories. Im hoping this LC is also going to help me move on if there really isn’t a chance in the future. sigh*
admin

October 7, 2013 at 12:18 am

Gauge it. Test out some casual texts vs friendly texts and see what gets the better response.

Paula

October 3, 2013 at 7:06 am

I followed the MC rule for over a week and was doing great until today he called me. I made the mistake of answering because he was supposed to get our daughter and I assumed that’s what it was about. A long story short, it led to us arguing. During the conversation on the phone he did mention how I tried so hard to get him back (before reading your advice) and then was just ignoring him. Later I texted him saying some really mean things. Then I did a 180 and started saying how much I missed him. He posted on facebook angry, how he wants someone who respects him, he’s done for good, that I’m a good woman and mom and he is ready to move on. I texted him and apologized and now I’m leaving him alone. I’m so angry at myself because I was doing so well… did I ruin any chance of success?

admin

October 4, 2013 at 12:30 am

Arguments suck :/ I talk about this in my latest post.

It’s a setback but anger usually always subsides.
Paula

October 3, 2013 at 12:41 pm

And on top of that. when I went on his facebook I noticed this girl has been commenting and liking EVERY status he’s posted this past week. She even went as far to call him “my love”. We have only been broken up for 2 and a half weeks… I read your rebound section but I figured I would comment here since I just posted here. This girl has two kids of her own and she has a pretty face so I’m really scared he has already moved on 🙁
admin

October 4, 2013 at 12:49 am

That is stalker creepy. If a girl did that to me I would be super creeped out.

RB

September 16, 2013 at 3:06 am

I’ve read all the post and none of them are totally what is my situation. My exboyfriend and I dated for 9 months. We truly loved each other. But we both had trust issues. I had known him previously but because of our age difference (11 years – me being older) I wouldn’t give him a chance. He pursued me to no end till I finally gave him a chance. We have always had a connection. We let our trust issues get in the way and the pettiness got to the point where he ended us. Within 2 weeks he started seeing someone and I was devastated. I enforced the NC. He contacted me during that time and told me he missed me etc. I told him I think his decision was the right one and he replied he didn’t. So I fell for it and we started texting. But within a few days, he stopped contacting me and withdrew. I asked what was up and he basically said he got caught up in the moment of missing me. It’s now been 6 months and we still text each other and he is still with his girlfriend. I made the mistake and slept with him twice and just recently as last week. We both agreed there are still feelings between us. He is going thru legal issues with his daughters mother. I’m helping him because I work in the legal profession. It got us back to spending time together to work on the legal documents. I asked him in a text tonight if he is struggling with feelings for me and feelings for his girlfriend. I was going to send him a text telling him I still loved him but that I can’t play second fiddle to his girlfriend and I deserved to be with someone that wanted to be with just me because I’m a great catch with alot to offer etc. BUT I didn’t follow thru and send it. I have to meet him tomorrow for him to sign the legal documents and he is extremely appreciative of me helping him. I was going to talk to him about it then but now I’m hesitant because I’ll still be helping him with his legal situation for a couple more weeks. Do I just let it ride? or do I tell him I can’t be in the friend zone with inappropriate texting, pics etc. cause it’s too hard on me. I saw on his facebook that he changed his profile pic yesterday to another one of him and his girlfriend. It hurt. I’m stupid for looking at his FB page. I want us back together. I can’t enforce the NC for 30 days because I am helping him. What do you suggest in this instance? How can I get him back? Do I just keep helping him and the texting etc. and pray he realizes I am the right choice? HELP…Thanks for any advice. RB

admin

September 16, 2013 at 5:32 am

I would keep things strictly about the help you are providing him for a while.
RB

September 16, 2013 at 3:10 am

PS…when I asked him if he was struggling with feelings for me and for his girlfriend…he first replied “Not really. Maybe a little”.

cas

September 14, 2013 at 12:37 pm

My ex left me for another girl when we r together by disappearing and ignoring my call and text. I only got to know he is seeing someone else from his fren.it has been a week now and all this time i tried to contact him for an explanation and closure but up to no avail. I have yet to implement the no contact rule but the thing is yesterday I tried to make him jealous by sending him a mail saying that during my relationship with him, I actually did hang out and have feelings for another ex of mine and also sent him photos of me with that ex. Did I make a mistake here before I start the no contact rule?

admin

September 15, 2013 at 1:35 am

Start the NC rule definitely!

HotLilTeacher

September 12, 2013 at 6:20 pm

So I did the “modified” contact since I had to give him his stuff and it took a few times to get it all out. Does modified contact – 1 per week – hurt the system?

He did contact me once and told me he missed me and that only I understand him and if we could be friends. That a part of him still loved me. i took that is a clear sign of “let’s be friends with benefits” so I told him I need time if he wanted to be friends.

I have been working on myself, crying on occasion, but not contacting him unless necessary – exchanging stuff.

It’s been 7 weeks. Has my window closed? Did I hurt my chances with the modified NC?

admin

September 13, 2013 at 4:11 am

I usually recommend full NC. BUT have you tried texting and doing all the stuff I recommend to actually get him back yet?
HotLilTeacher

September 13, 2013 at 6:02 am

Well because we have been in contact for business stuff, and he has contacted me about being friends, I wasn’t sure when to initiate that. I texted him yesterday to tell him I am doing well and maybe we could be friends soon. I don’t know why. I felt compelled. Perhaps he saw that as begging. He just said ok. So maybe he is over it. Or maybe I bugged him. I have no idea.

So no, I have not reached the point of texting. Friends have told me to move on, and they don’t get the “there’s a chance vibe” and he really hasn’t contacted me with anything promising for about 3 weeks.

In fact, he saw me at a rock show 2 weeks ago and left.

Did I mess this up?
HotLilTeacher

September 26, 2013 at 2:11 pm

Can you explain the whole “It’s too bad you’ve already seen the movie. There are other really good ones out” 2 weeks ago? Was he horny? Lonely? I don’t get it.
HotLilTeacher

September 27, 2013 at 6:09 am

In the first month he was contacting me after NC for a few weeks. Cute and funny stuff. He then told me a part of him still loved me. I told him I couldn’t be just friends at that moment if that’s what he was looking for. Did I miss my window?
admin

September 28, 2013 at 2:45 am

No, you just may have to recreate one haha.
admin

September 27, 2013 at 5:45 am

Lonely most likely!
admin

September 13, 2013 at 6:15 pm

Your looking at this completely wrong.

YOU didn’t mess up. HE messed up.
HotLilTeacher

September 23, 2013 at 5:21 pm

Yes I read the guide. I tried my get him back text. I sent a text about a movie I think he would like. He replied with “Really?! It’s too bad you already saw it” Promising Right? so I responded and then nothing. Ignored.

I waited a week and sent a sweet memory text. Totally ignored. I think he regretted texting me what he did.

Don’t know what to do now.
admin

September 24, 2013 at 2:52 am

Alright you are going to have to wait 2 weeks now befor eyou try anything else. He isn’t ready to talk to you.
HotLilTeacher

September 15, 2013 at 5:19 pm

Then what is the next step since? I already started the friend zone. Do I send a text?
admin

September 16, 2013 at 4:56 am

You read this page right?

https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/the-definitive-guide-to-making-your-ex-boyfriend-love-you-again/
HotLilTeacher

September 13, 2013 at 6:47 pm

I meant, did I mess up the steps. He did say he is confused. I don’t even think he is dating. I am working on myself.
admin

September 15, 2013 at 12:52 am

No you didn’t mess them up.

amber

September 12, 2013 at 7:51 am

Hello,
I want to get back my ex, and I have read many posts in your website. First of all, thank you much for in-depth advice!!

After reading this post, I realized that I might have made a really big mistake during breakup…After few days since breakup, my ex sent a message, and I saw the message one hour later. At this time, I didn’t know well about NC, so I replied. However, he didn’t reply back for 12 or longer hours, and I felt he played around my feeling, and I became really disappointed and angry at him…and I unfriended him on Facebook (without letting him know).

Soon he found this and told me he wanted to talk with me but never mind. I should admit, at this time I felt so hurt and was angry at him..so I was not rational but very emotional and lost my temper, so I announced that I don’t want to get him back.
My first language is not English, so I am not sure if this is counted as a ultimatum but it seems like so :/

Actually, after saying this, I regretted that I told him like this..and actually I never wanted him to get out of my life but rather maintain some connection with him.

I wish it was that all – but I made another big mistake. Two weeks after, I contacted him and asked if we could be friends…but well, as you might expect, he reacted so cold and said I looked like I wanted to cut off all connection with him. But at that time, I didn’t know about what I was supposed to do, and I got upset again and didn’t reply back.

Now about 6 months have passed since this happened.(We have been together for about a half year) But I am so regretting what I have done to him so badly, and I am very afraid of that he might see me as a crazy psycho ex. Especially as I know, he needs to take much longer time to let bad emotions go than others do.

I wonder if there is any way that I can fix mistakes I have made? I might try the quick fix you suggested, but I don’t know if I would not look very weird and creepy that I take back my words after such long time (several months) has passed…ouch.

admin

September 13, 2013 at 3:46 am

When was the last time you talked to him?
amber

September 13, 2013 at 6:03 pm

I talked to him in two weeks from breakup. After that, we haven’t contacted each other (NC for five and a half months).
admin

September 15, 2013 at 12:48 am

Then it might be time to take a risk!

Sav

September 11, 2013 at 11:11 am

Hey I’m 21 well evrything was fine between us deeply inlove and I got pregnant we were fine & had our plan my boyfriend fears his parents when we told them eveything changed coz they ddint agree to what we wanted. I started fighting said nasty stuff & he broke up with me 3months ago… Saying we arnt mean 2 be and wants to be friends well I did everything I shudnt begging,fighting etc n now he checks up but every 1ce in a blue moon which is ridiculous! I’m trying no contact.

admin

September 12, 2013 at 3:22 am

Good for you trying NC. I wish you the best of luck!

If you need anything don’t be a stranger.

Anna

September 10, 2013 at 3:26 am

Hi Chris!

My ex and I have been broken up for a little over two months after dating for almost a year. I’d been texting him every few days or weeks since the breakup and he’d reply but it would take him forever. He would always write long responses and tell me that he hoped I was doing well but would never really engage in conversation. I asked him if he wanted to hang out the other day and he said he was too busy these next few weeks but he was sure we’d find time “in the near future.” I replied with a text telling him not to mess with me and string me along. He replied saying that he’s trying to move forward and it’s best if we part ways and he wishes me the best. Do you think no contact would possibly work or do you think it’s too late and I should just move on myself?

admin

September 11, 2013 at 1:43 am

I think NC is the right step in both cases. To get him back AND to move on. It kind of works for both.

So yes, do NC!

Me(anon)

September 8, 2013 at 10:39 pm

Ok so here’s the deal I met a guy 3 years ago he’d only split up with his ex 3 months they had a child together for future reference. Anyway we me fell in love he was soo sweet said he wanted to marry me and me being me was scared said I never wanted to get married. Anyway we moved in together he went through some tough times with his ex I was there through everything I even took abuse from her while he said nothing I got jealous of the things he used to do for her yet wouldn’t do for me and my daughter who he sometimes made a difference with. Anyway the past 6 months of our relationship was hell and I threw him out. He started adding girls on Facebook so obviously I was gona get upset and angry he said he only done it to hurt me cause he was hurting. I didn’t contact him I was ready for this it was the right thing to do but then a month later it hit me like a ton of bricks I have always loved him. Anyway I turned into a text gnat then a call gnat I done emails I know I’m patheticand now beginning to hate myself he says he still loves me and always will but isn’t sure about getting back together. Anyway I was talking to his cousin in general and she asked how I was and me being me and trusting people too easy said I’d made a mistake and missed him so now she’s told him and his sister and the rest of the family are laughing at me especially the sidter and I don’t know will the nc rule still work? Do u think he does still love me because how can he say he loves me yet I asked him out on r anniversary which is also my birthday he said yes and now said no so if he loves me how can he turn that down. He tried the whole friends with benefits I refused which I’m proud of 🙂 and everytime he sees me he kisses my on the cheek goodbye sooo many mixed signals

admin

September 9, 2013 at 7:27 pm

You might want to check this article out: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/the-guide-to-getting-him-back-after-a-year-or-more-apart/

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