What Are Your Chances of Getting Your ExBoyfriend Back

Brad Vs. Chris… The Battle Of The Breakup Gods

Brad browning is one of the few “breakup experts” that I can put my stock behind.

As sad as this is to admit we live in a world where there are some really sketchy people out there who are trying to take your hard earned money. As a general rule, I say you should never trust a “breakup expert” if they aren’t willing to show their face or go in front of a camera.

Of course, that’s never been a problem for Brad or me,

As you can see, we are more than willing to go on camera to dish out advice.

But that’s when my good buddy Brad got an idea.

Hey, wouldn’t it be cool if we did a “versus” video where we basically asked each other questions from our viewers to see how our advice differed?

So, without further ado I give you the “Brad Vs. Chris” video,

Now, just so you know the product we kept talking about in the video is called “The Ex Factor” and you can get it by visiting the big link you see below,

Click Here To Get “The Ex Factor”

Interview Transcript

  • Okay, so today I’m doing something really, really special with my good friend, Brad Browning; the founder and creator of The Ex Factor. How are you doing Brad?

  • I’m good man. I’m ready for a fight. I’m really looking forward to this video. Thanks for agreeing to do this and for your kind words. So, basically what we’re going to do in this video, Chris and I are going to get in a fight basically. We’re doing Chris versus Brad break up questions and we’re going to be answering questions from our readers and will give each of our take and see if we disagree and where we disagree because I’m sure we will, right Chris?

  • Yeah and I want to say that Brad is probably one of the only break up experts out there that I would trust outside of myself which is why I’m so honored to have him in here. So, that I can pretty much destroy him in break up knowledge here. Now, —

  • We shall see.

  • I guess to kind of give you an idea of what makes Brad Browning so special is he had authored the best selling book, The Ex Factor, which you can find the link below this video. So, we are basically going exboyfriend recovery versus the ex factor and which is better. And I’m just going to tell you right now, it’s the ex boyfriend recovery

  • 1:13  It’s not bad but it happens I have seen yours too, spotted a little bit and it’s pretty damn fine as well I think we’re going to agree on quite a bit of that as well 1:20 and then we’ll duke it out over some of the things based on what I’ve read in your program anyways. Thank you for the pitch. If you do want to check my Ex Factor program, click that below and you’ll get access to my full video on the website there with lots of free tips.

  • Alright Brad, so I think this is a question with one of the members of your audience. This person is saying,

    “Why does my ex send mixed signals? One day he’s all over me at a party and tells me that he misses me so much but then when I text him the next day like three times, he keep ignoring me and never replies.”

     

     

  • That is so common. You probably get the same thing everyday.  1:59 readers, yeah. See, the thing is you have to put yourself in the shoes of the person who broke up with you basically, so, your ex. When they broke up with you, it wasn’t easy for them. Sometimes it can actually be harder for the person who is doing the dumping than the dumpee. And they’re going to be on the same sort of emotional roller coaster as you are. So, don’t think for ex it’s easy just because they broke up with you. They’re going through the same struggles tht you are going through the break up. They probably have conflicted feelings. A lot of the time their brain is saying, “I shouldn’t be with this person. I should break up and I should stay broken up.” And the heart is going to miss you. They’re going to still have some feelings for you even though they’ve logically decided that it’s time to end the relationship.

     

    So, most often this happens it’s because when you get those, the I miss you’s and the I still love you and think about you, those kind of messages from you ex it’s in a time when it’s late at night, they’re alone and the feelings, those emotions, they’re heartbroken, they’re just sort of releasing that by telling you and then a day later and when you’re getting ignored or you’re getting cold responses, that’s when your ex is they’re out with friends, they’re feeling fine and so that’s why often times you’ll just kind of, sort of–your ex will be sending this mixed signals because that reflects the moods and the struggles that they’re going through emotionally. Do you want to disagree with me on that Chris?

  • I will say no, I don’t want to disagree with you. I will add something to it. I would say a lot of times when you see someone having this mixed signals, I think maybe a little bit of the grass is greener syndrome is playing a role here.

  • Absolutely.

  • So, I think maybe what’s happening with this particular person. It seems like it’s a woman here. What I think what’s happening with this particular person is her boyfriend is having this grass is greener syndrome moment where he’s sitting there and thinking, “Oh, you know I missed this certain aspect of her.” And then he’s acting based on the feeling he’s having in that moment which is kind of what you said in your point but I think that’s something to keep in mind with your situation. I wish we had a name for this person but let’s just call her, Clare.

  • It was definitely a lady. I don’t remember her name. Of course with the Clare, that’s good and I agree with you. And definitely, it’s basically–you act on whatever you feel right? You would agree with that, it’s sort of in the heat of the moment.

  • I think so.

  • They are letting out those emotions for sure. What does this mean? Usually, I’d say it’s a good sign. In most cases, if your ex is sending mixed signals–hey, at least you know that there are times when they’re conflicted 4:37 anyway and perhaps in the times when they’re cold, distant or ignoring you, those are just sort of where their logic is overpowering those emotions or when they’ve got friends and family sitting there saying, “Don’t reply to that ex. Don’t do it.” Kind of encouraging them to stay broken up because that’s what they think is best for them. So, I would say in general it’s a good sign if you’re seeing that kind of mixed signals.

  • Yeah, I would have to back you up on that. So, I guess we’re on the same side on this one but I’ll pick a new, I’ll pick a more controversial question next.

  • I got one for you actually. From one of my readers, if you’re up for it. So the question is from Lisa, I believe and she’s actually down in Florida as well with Chris. So,  Lisa’s question is,

    “What kind of date should I be going on with my exboyfriend?”

  • Well, that’s a great question because not a lot of people think about this. But I always like to look at research to try back up everything that I say and I stumbled across this really fascinating research called The Mis-attribution of Emotions. So there was this study done where they took an audience of people who were watching a concert and before the concert started playing, they asked the people,

    “Ok, if you can rate the attractiveness level of the people who are playing the concert, what would you rate them at?”

    So, they gave the people the numbers and eventually the concert started and the concert started playing and there was an intermission and then they asked the same question to the audience.

    “How would you rate each member of the band attractiveness wise?”

    And each member of the band saw a gigantic increase in their attraction levels and what scientists think what happened is, they felt so much emotion from the music that they attached the emotion to the thing that made the most sense. And so I think maybe you can take a cue on this. Maybe take your ex boyfriend on a with a lot of emotion attached to it. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a life and death experience type of thing. This can be something like going to a haunted house, something maybe an interesting cornfield maze. I’m in this weird haunted house craze right now for some reason.

     

  • For the record, it’s December right now. So, it’s still Halloween. So, if by record, it’s still Halloween.

  • I’m two months behind!

  • 7:01 –remember. Yeah, exactly.

  • What do you think Brad?

  • Well, it’s hard to argue with science because you know that I’m all about science as well. I think that’s probably what separates us from a lot of other beak up folks out there, “experts”. Because we do like science and research and things like that. So, it definitely makes a lot of sense. I completely agree. One thing I object to that is calling it a date. I generally don’t believe in calling any kind of encounter with your ex or hang out with your ex a date. Certainly not at least vocally or publicly when your ex is around because I really think that that plants the wrong idea when they may not be ready to know that you want them back. So, really until you’ve sort of reeled them all the way, 99% of the way to being back in a relationship again. I would never want to call that kind of thing a date. I would maybe just say hanging out and then take them to an emotional or something that is going to trigger a memory or something like that. I definitely agree with that part. I just don’t want to call it a date because it’s too much too soon.

  • Yeah, I actually agree with you. I like the idea. It kind of revolves around what I’m really big on, it’s moving them up the value chain. So, you’re slowly but surely making- a date might scare off someone too soon.

  • Absolutely.

  • I have to agree with you. We’re going to have to find where I disagree with you

  • I think so, yeah because this is a pretty lame fight. We’re sort of dancing around without actually doing anything.

  • Jab jab!

  • Do you have one that we can possibly disagree? Or at least let’s just try and let’s see if we’ll disagree with the next one.

  • I think I may have one. Ok, Brad so here’s the deal. I think I have a question that will be a little controversial and I think we may disagree a little bit on. So, this–

  • Finally!

  • This person asks,

    “What should I do when my ex boyfriend wants to sleep with me? We’re still hanging out a lot but it’s not official and I want him back so bad. Should I sleep with him or shut down his advances?”

  • Interesting question. Good question. Now, I will say that I actually have two answer depending on what we’re talking about, a man or a woman. In this case, it’s a girl asking if she should sleep with her exboyfriend correct?

  • Correct.

  • So, in that case, what I generally advise is only sleep with  your ex if you’re like basically 99% of the way towards being back in a relationship or you’re actually back in a relationship. Basically to the point that you’re feeling so confident that you’re willing to allow that to happen. It won’t sort of tarnish of your image that you’re trying to build up high value like we just talked about.

    But for a man on other hand, a lot of research says that a man and woman think differently about sex. And it does make sense when you think about it evolutionary sense. Women, they’re not as willing to give up sex because it might mean having children down the road right?

    So, what I generally say to men is that if you’re ex girlfriend wants to sleep with you, then most times you should probably do that because women often attach emotion and have generally a more emotionally opinions and feelings towards sex. So, I usually recommend in the male version of my ex factor guide. Of course I have men and women’s versions both called The Ex Factor, like you, we have separate versions for each gender and for the male I would recommend that but in this case, for the person asking this question, I would actually probably say no.

    Don’t sleep with your ex boyfriend atleast until you’re basically all the way back together. Can we disagree, please?

  • We can disagree on this. I do not agree that you should sleep with an ex until a relationship is formed and my thinking about that is I’ve seen so many women particularly, and I would agree with you on the gender role differences maybe when it relates to sex. I think maybe men–as horrible as it sounds, get away with maybe sleeping with a woman but when it comes to women, I’ve seen of many of them get caught in this friends with benefits situation and that is when they get in this endless circle when they are essentially, not necessarily friendzoned. It’s a little bit more than being friendzoned but they’re in this endless cycle where they can’t seem to crawl their way out of it and it makes getting their ex back so much more difficult. So, I’m going to have to disagree with you there. So, knock out! I went bam!

  • No, no, no! 11:13. So, basically I think we’re agreeing on what men should do when it comes–

  • I can buy into that,yeah!

  • The signs  and of sort of the basically the emotionally attachment that each gender places on sex sort of dictates that there must actually be difference. Men, sort of, disposable. You know we don’t have to seek enough attachment as a result of sex but women do. So, we can agree on that and disagree on the other part. So, at least we had exchanged a few blows and it’s my turn. So, I got do more for you.

    So, the question is basically, this is from someone– I think his name is 11:50. He was and he’s asking whether–I get the impression that he’s already, sort of almost all the way down the 30 days of no contact with his ex girlfriend and he’s worried that she has forgotten about him. She hasn’t contacted him at all for the majority of the 30 days. He doesn’t say exactly but I think he’s sort of 25 days into the 30 days of no contact, hasn’t heard a pip from her and he’s starting to get worried that she’s forgotten about him, she’s moved on.

    What do you think? Is it truth?

  • No, not all. In fact, I’m really glad you brought this question up because I have had a success story recently where–I remember it like yesterday. I woke up and the first thing I got to my email was ” Hey, I got my ex back!” but when I started like asking questions about what this person did to get their ex back, I found out that they are married. And so I convinced, –her name is Jessy. I convinced her to get–I wish I could find a man to match up with the guy who’s asking the question but hey, same principle applies. A lot of people think,

    “Hey, if my ex doesn’t contact me during the no contact rule all–”

    You know the world is ending but that’s not necessarily the case.–

  • Not at all.

  • I actually convinced Jessy to come on to my podcast where I interviewed her and her husband was like literally sitting like right there next to her.

  • Oh crazy!

  • So, I got both perspectives and she told the story about when she did the no contact rule. She was really into the 30 days of the no contact and pretty much everything that I recommend and you recommend in The Ex Factor she did but he did not respond once at all and I think that had to do a little bit with his stubbornness.

  • Totally!

  • But it took one text message after the no contact rule for her to send and bam! He was back on board. It was like literally that easy. Which I think goes into this idea of the world’s not ending if she doesn’t contact you. What do you think?

  • Exactly and let’s not forget, the answer sort of depends on how serious the relationship was and in the case of marriage, you know that 25 days may not be enough to forget about your spouse that you’ve been married to which is a little bit different than if you’ve dated for 3 weeks and you’re high school or something like that and -but then again, I would never recommend and I talk about this in my Ex Factor Guide about the appropriate length of time for various situations and types of relationships for no contact.

    In this case with marriage or even with 14:15 situation, it’s often a good sign because it means that emotions are building in your ex and then when –like you said, when you do finally send a text message or get back in contact and I recommend using the texts that I have included in my Ex Factor program because they’re really designed to bring those emotions out.

    When you do send a text after the no contact, boom! All of a sudden there’s a huge amount of 14:37 to rebuilt and both of you are eager to talk and see one another because it’s been so long when you had contact. It’s kind of cold turkey right? That’s essentially what the no contact is and when you end the cold turkey and you sort of have the first hit again of that love drug with your ex, it’s very powerful.

    So, I would say, we’re going to have to agree again sadly.  This isn’t much of a fight now. I do agree with you on that one for sure. This is something that I talk a lot about in the video on my website, the full length video. I think you’re going to put a link to it below the video. So, you can go check that out. Basically I just talk a little bit about no contact, the science behind it and how to adapt it to your specific situation. You know there’s other things to consider, maybe you live together, maybe you have possession of your ex’s, bills, shared bills–

  • The kids.

  • The kids are the tough one. Just self promotion here, a little pitch, I do have a marriage product as well, save your marriage, it’s called Mend the Marriage. And for that particular client that you talked about, I will probably recommend that they use the stuff in my mend the marriage program but 15:39 so 99% of the time these people are not married but the same sort of advice applies. At least I think it does.

  • Yeah and since we’re on this no contact kick, I’ve got a question for you. Not sure we will get into a fight on this one because I think we’re pretty stern on where we stand but one of the one of the most–

  • I have a feeling I know where this is going. Ok, fire away.

  • One of the most asked questions that I personally get about the no contact rule is,

    “Hey! My exboyfriend’s or exgirlfriend’s birthday is on the no contact rule, can I break it?”

  • If I had a cent for every time I saw that question asked ieither in my Youtube video comments or from my customer’s coaching–I’d be so rich. The answer is simple. I think we’re really going to have to agree on it because my answer is yeah, go ahead. Say happy birthday. Don’t say anything more than that. A quick text say like, ‘Happy birthday, hope all has been well.”

  • Well you know what, I think we might get into a fight in this one.

  • Oh alright man! Alright! I’m ready!

  • Alright, you’re ready for the right hook. I think when you’re broken up you should not break the no contact rule because what purpose does it serve? And it’s not going to help you at all. It’s only going to hurt you because now instead of going cold turkey like you were saying, you had broken the no contact rule and no contact is meant to stop and addiction. You are thinking about your ex too much and by giving into that addiction, you are opening yourself up to breaking the no contact again int he future. So, yes bam! Knock out again! I’m winning this fight easy!

  • Well, I’m going to counter on that one. There’s two thing I want to say in response to that. One, is I think you’re probably right to an extent. It probably depends on where you’re at in the no contact and how much contact you had otherwise outside of that kind of message.

    Because if you’re 25 days in and you said nothing, and you were really close and it will be sort of d*** move not to acknowledge your ex’s birthday then you have to do something because otherwise you just sort of seem cold and uncaring. There are situations for sure especially if you’ve been too needy, too clingy, pleading, those kinds of things already, I would say that you’re probably right in that situation a birthday text could be either not beneficial or actually harmful.

    However, something I’ve really started to use lately and recommend is to actually turn it into kind of a funny thing. So, instead of saying happy birthday, you say in text message like, “Wow, you must be full of gray hairs now!” or something like that. Make a joke or something that will be funny, happy or fun to remind your ex subtly that you’re still awesome, funny and basically just to keep him thinking of you in a positive way.

    So, a birthday is a valid reason to text during no contact and to drop that sort of emotion building positive vibe through a simple message and a real reason to do it. That’s my counter punch.I think we’re both still standing but–

  • Yeah, have you ever had anyone who has a no contact rule end on ex’s birthday?

  • On the day? I can’t say I can recall, probably, because I have coached a lot.

  • I have and that’s probably the only way I would recommend doing it but other than that I think we disagreed on a couple but I think we have few more that we might potentially disagree on. Do you have any?

  • I do have one for you. The next question we have is–it’s not actually a question that anybody sent to me but it’s quite hard to take on. I’m not sure we’re going to agree. Basically I wonder what you think is the biggest mistake that people make if they haven’t read the ex factor guide or your ex recovery programs. What is the biggest mistake they make?

  • Well, I’ll 19:33 to it in the last couple of questions ago and that would be breaking the no contact rule. Like I said, break ups are essentially addition because the part of the brain that light up when you go through a break up is the same part of the brain that’s going to light up in a cocaine addict going through withdrawal.

    That’s why we have so much difficultly getting over an ex. And so, the no contact rule is a way to combat that addiction. So, you’re thinking a little bit more logically and you’re in your right mind and you have a little bit more perspective even if you want to get your ex back because I’ve certainly–as I’m sure you’ve had had people come and say,

    “Hey, I don’t want my ex back but I”m so grateful I’ve used your ex factor program. ” And you know, the whole spiel. Breaking the no contact rule is essentially like giving into the addiction and it doesn’t really benefit you to do so, unless you are in one of those situation or circumstances that you have kids or your work together or just the universe throw–

  • If it’s going to make your ex really mad I think is the general–

  • Yes, that is, I will definitely concede that. If it is just for your own purposes where you have this voice at the back of your head that says,

    “Hey, break the no contact rule. What is he up to? What is she up to. I need to know.”

    That is essentially your addiction talking and it’s not going to benefit you at all. What do you think is the biggest mistake in your perspective?

  • Well, I must sympathize with everybody who’s in that situation who’s watching us right now. I know it’s really tough to stay in no contact. It’s not as easy as it sounds. If I just say don’t talk to somebody for 30 days. It sounds very easy but when those emotions are pounding, you’ll look for an excuse not to do it and that’s one of the reasons why if you search online, no contact isn’t a good idea. Lot of “breakup experts” are 21:19 it as a concept because they know that the people want to hear that. They know that people want to hear any excuse they can find to break no contact, to talk to their ex. Don’t buy in it people. That is not the right way to go. Two break ups are telling you, no contact does work and you got to stick to it. So, I will completely agree with you on that.

    As for the number one mistake, I think I’m going to disagree with you on that one. For me, the number one mistake is just generally thinking that you can talk your way back into your ex’s heart. There is literally no chance that you’ll get back together with your ex unless he or she decides that they want to whether it’s logically, your ex come up with a reason, a real reason to get back together or because their emotions are too powerful they can’t stand it anymore. They need another hit of that love drug you’re talking about to sort of 22:10 those break up emotions and the sadness and heartache.

    So, I think the major mistake generally, not recognizing that it’s crucial to have your ex be attracted to you and not just physical attraction but emotional attraction, mental. The kind of attraction that you had when you first started dating. That’s what you need to rebuilt. There’s really no other way to get your ex back unless they’re feeling those emotions. So, everything you’re doing should be aimed at building those desire in your ex’s mind for you which is why we talked earlier about increasing value and making sure that your ex sees you as somebody who’s awesome and someone they should want to be with. So, basically begging, pleading and just talking your way back to your ex’s heart, huge critical error that tons of people make unless they check out my website or your programs or one of my programs, then they’ll get better–the right answer which is build attraction, no contact, all that stuff that we’re talking about.

  • Yeah, I would say that what you just mentioned talking your way back into a relationship with your ex is a huge mistake that people–I have this analogy that I use in my website called GNAT-ing–Going Nuts At Texting because that’s essentially what it is. People just go nuts but I will disagree with you. I definitely think the no contact rule–I do think–yeah.

  • They’re sort of corelated so we’re kind of–

  • Yeah, we’re kind of agreeing and kind of disagreeing at the same time but what do you think Brad? Do we have another question that we can potentially disagree on?

  • I do. Give me one second. I’m going to make one more comment about that. I think generally, the reason people have so much trouble with what I just talked about not talking your way back to an ex’s heart is because to everyone who’s in the moment, it’s the logical thing to do. If you need something from somebody how do you get it? Well, you ask or something like that to try to convince them to give you whatever you’re looking for. So, that what feels logical and natural and it’s what everyone instinctively does until they get advice from people like us who actually know what we’re talking about to do otherwise and most often the prescription for what to do is no contact because that’s what going to help rebuild that attraction. So I guess what I’m saying is, the reason that I think that’s a huge mistake is because no contact is critical. So, we’re kind of agreeing while disagreeing.

  • Yes, Yes. I like it.

  • That was a good one. I do have another question for you.So, I do have a question and I’m going to get my phone. It’s from one of clients. I’m not going to give her name but she says,

    “My ex broke up with me because he has to move across the country for army training. He says it’s just not possible for us to stay together but I still really love him. What should I try to do to convince him that we need to stay together despite the distance? I love him so much and I really want to make it work.”

    Long distance, common one. Hopefully we’re going to disagree.

  • I think it’s more of a hybrid also because getting an ex back in the army is — it has own set of challenges and also it’s long distance. So, I think I”ll tackle both. So, if you have an ex who’s in the army or I know she says that he’s entering army training but let’s assume that he goes overseas. Well, if that happens, they’re going to take his phone away. That’s just the way it works. So, getting in contact with him is going to be extremely difficult and you can sit here and say,

    “Oh, you can just Skype him.” But often times when you’re in Afghanistan or Iraq, the Skype is not going to be the greatest in the world. So, one of the best ways to stay present in his mind because that’s really all you can do at this point until maybe he comes back and you can try some of the other tactics, is to send one of those I care for troop packages to his entire squadron so you can get not just him on your side but all the other guys that he’s in war essentially with on your side saying,
    “Wow that girl is awesome! Who is she to you?”

    It’ll make him feel a little guilty about breaking up. Now, let’s switch gears and talk a little bit about long distance relationship. Now, long distance relationships are interesting because I think they need 3 components to work. The first one is a plan. Both of you need to agree on a plan because eventually a long distance relationship can’t survive on it’s own forever. The other thing you need is time. So, if you have a job that won’t give you time and you can’t really just uproot your job and move across the country, that’s going to be a difficult thing.

    And then you have money, so, it takes money to get plane tickets. It takes money to get gas to travel to see him. So, I would say even before you start looking about how to get your ex back in a long distance relationship, to have a good hard look at this three things and see if it’s even a feasible situation. So, what do you think Brad?

  • A lot of people, they are in that situation. They have come up with a plan even before they broke up. They sort of think where are we going to be in two years? How are we going to get together eventually?

  • Which is the catalyst for the break up a lot of times.

  • It’s crucial. Yeah, absolutely. I also want to make a distinction.  I think there’s an important distinction to make between the type of long distance relationship where you ex is like a 2 hours drive away versus the other side of the world. If you are in India and your ex is in Canada. That’s a long distance. It’s probably unfeasible ever. Whereas if it’s a few hours down the road, you can visit on weekends. That’s a completely different story and it’s almost not even long distance really at all.

    I am actually going to disagree. So, we can exchange blows on this one. I think both in this situation that we’re specifically talking about and generally speaking, I’ve noticed this a lot with my coaching clients. People usually take their ex’s words at face value but I think in this case and in many cases, if not most, that’s not the real reason for the break up. I think that this person’s ex, the army training moving across country is just an excuse because they don’t want to hurt their ex by saying the real reasons why they want to break up.

    Because really when you think about it and I like to talk a lot about the importance of attraction in romantic relationships and rebuilding your ex’s attraction for you and if that attraction is strong enough, and again that’s sexual, emotional attraction, that’s going to over power any logical concerns about distance or whatever and it’s not really going to lead to things like what we just talked about.

     

    Now obviously in this case, the reason is army. So, all the things you talked about apply. He’s probably going to be shipped overseas for 6 months regularly. So, if they are going to be together, that has to be something that both of them are ok with but in this case, it just seems to me a little fishy. I think that her ex is probably using this as an excuse to justify the break up without hurting her.

    So, my advice and what I disagree with you is basically I would not even consider what he said about that. I think that the real reasons for the break up are, he’s just not into the relationship enough to keep trying, to try and make it work for however long he’s going to be away in the long distance and if he was, it just didn’t hurt enough and if they were madly in love, they’d find a way to make it work. They’d come up with a plan to be together in the future and this wouldn’t be an issue.

    So, my take is most of the time, your ex is, what they say after the break up ro the reasons for the break up are either completely false or partially true. So we disagree once again which is great. Living up to the title of the video there.

  • Yeah right! Alright so, I have a final question. And this is–I don’t know if it’s a question or more of a situation but this is a big one because It’s something I get asked a lot. I’m really curious to hear your take on it Brad. So, this person is someone I picked out out of our Youtube comments. It’s a girl. I don’t necessarily remember her name but here is what she has to say.

    “What do I do if he’s dating someone new? I know it for sure because my friends saw him with this other girl twice and they were all into each other.”

    So, what does the break up god Brad say?

  • Well, I don’t know. I think we might actually agree on this one. First of all I think again, it depends. It depends on the situation. In this case it sounds like what has happened has actually happened. So, it’s not just sort of a rumor but rather a first hand account of somebody that really did go down. So, a lot of time, it’s sort of just a rumor that you’ve heard through a friend of a friend about somebody dating possibly seeing somebody new, whatever.

    And in situations like that where it’s a rumor you don’t really know. I would say either you’re better off to just forget about it. Don’t worry about it and generally that’s my overall opinion on this sort of thing because what your ex is doing or saying, it doesn’t matter. It does not change whether or not or how you get them back or change your chances because you just need a sort of, as the athletes often say, stick to your game plan, play the right way and those kind of things.

    So, I would say in general it’s terrible to focus on what your ex is doing. It’s a waste of time. It’s not productive. Focus on yourself. The things that you can control that will help you get your ex back. It’s that kind of thing but in this case, we know that this really happened and I would probably suggest that there will be absolutely no action taken. You don’t want to say it to your ex whether they’re dating, you don’t ask them about it, you don’t want to get in a fight over it because the reality is it’s probably a rebound.

    Rebounding the relationship, that a lot of people jump right into after a break up just to sort of suppress the heartache and the emotions that come ending the relationship and that doesn’t necessarily always mean that you’re screwed. Again, this is actually something that I cover a little bit later in the video in my website which again you’d link to below. So, if you guys want to check it out, you can. Generally speaking, in a situation like this, I would say it still doesn’t matter because you can’t do anything it.

    So, it’s not a good thing but it’s also not necessarily a bad thing. So, I wouldn’t really change your strategy and I would say the best thing to do is just sort of tell your friend, “Don’t tell me that kind of stuff. I don’t want to hear about it.” Stick to the proven tactics. The kind of stuff that’s in your programs, that’s i my ex factor guide and program and in the video in my website and just don’t worry about what your ex is doing. Stick to what you can control.

    Are we going to disagree?

  • No, we will not. I actually agree a lot with what you said. I have a few add ons. I will say that I used to– I will disagree with maybe one thing that you said. You said that it could be a rebound and I think that could be very well the case but I used to be in the camp you were in where I would think, “Oh, a rebound typically ends really well or really fast.” And often times they do. The problem with it is, research has come out suggesting that rebounds are actually one of the best ways to get over a break up.

    So, I would say to the person, if she really wants her ex back stick to the game plan, do everything Brad said. Don’t focus so much on your ex, focus more on yourself but when it does come in time in your game plan to maybe communicate with your ex flirty a little bit. Don’t step over the gray line but the more you can ,not interfere in his relationship, but be present in his new relationship, the other girl will not like it. So, that would be my add on. What do you think?

  • That’s a great point. Yes, I agree with that and I do think that sometimes rebounds can turn into something real. It’s just that if you really think about it, how many dates with various people do you go on before you end up in a serious relationship? Usually you don’t just sort of–are not perfectly compatible with the first person that you go on a date with.

    So, the odds are that you are actually more compatible better for your ex than this new person because you know that you’ve already been in a serious relationship. You guys got along well at one point, things have fallen apart but the reality is you’re probably still have advantage in that regard.

    So, the key is to rebuild the way that your ex sees you where you look like a better option, that getting back together with you seems like a better option than staying with the rebound right? And so something like flirting and those kind of things that you can sort of build into your early communication strategy can really be helpful in that situation but I do agree when it comes to saying things about this to your ex, you want to be present without actually saying. You want to interfere but not by actually mentioning it, talking about it, trying to discourage your ex because those are only ever going to do just more damage.

     

  • Yeah I agree with you on that one.

  • If you’re watching this and you’re in a situation like this and you feel like signing up in my ex factor program, you might want to click the special coaching upgrade option that you’ll see once you’ve placed your order and I will help you personally through that kind of situation because there are a lot of 34:34 and you really want to be careful with that kind of situation. So, click the link below the video and click that upgrade link as well when you sign up for my program and I will help you out personally.

  • And I will just say that Brad’s coaching particularly is one of a kind, I don’t think anyone out there does anything like this. Maybe there’s a handful of people but this is personalized coaching from Brad Browning himself and you will get an answer from him 24 hours pretty much right?

  • On average it’s around 24-48. I guarantee a response every time within 72 hours. I think there are some people that do break up coaching but what I like is that my program is an on going thing subscription. It’s as needed. So, I can help you as the situation unfolds for over 3 weeks or 6 weeks. However long it takes and however long you need my help. I’m always just one message away. So, a $40 with a Skype call, that’s great but what about in week when things have completely change and you need my advice again? You got to pay another coaching call. So, my program is just more designed to help my clients as the situation unfolds and I think that that’s what sort of makes it unique.

    So, again, yeah, you want to sign up for that, just click the link below, click upgrade and you’ll get all the details there. And thank you for the kind words by the way. We are obviously the break up experts you should listen to. So, it’s fun doing this and hopefully people got something from it even if we only sort of–

  • I feel like I got something from it. So, I can’t imagine if someone didn’t.

  • Likewise. It’s a lifetime learning isn’t it? I like the science. I like how you’re into that as well, the science and the research because I really think that I need to look at that kind of thing and we need to sort of adapt and change strategies as you learn. It’s been fun.

  • Yeah, It’s great. Thanks for coming on Brad. I will say that I will be linking to his program, The Ex Factor, below. I’m also going to be linking to it multiple times in emails sent from me. I can’t really stress enough how incredible this program is and you add in the fact which I don’t even do currently. Currently, I’ve done it on a handful of occasions for certain people, the coaching aspect. So, you can really get that situation answered because one of the biggest problems or objections I have to a lot of people buying products is.

    “Hey, does it cover my situation?”

    Well, this is exactly why Brad did this for. So, thank you for doing that I don’t have to do it. You can have all the people!

  • My pleasure! Well, I know you know the questions that I get asked from my coaching clients and I do really love helping people personally. So, if you do need that personal option, I do have a couple of slots open right now. I can’t promise I will when you sign up for The Ex Factor but right now act, you sort of act fast, sign up and once you place the order you see that the coaching upgrade, you can select that as well and sign up for that as long as a slot is available.

    I just added a new section to my ex factor program that kind of ties into that. It’s sort of a what if section. It’s a ton of different scenarios you might face. It’s like 30 or 40 of them on the website in the member’s area just listing up what we should do in various situations. So, if you don’t sign up for the coaching, you still get that one if you sign up for my ex factor program. Click the link, you get access.

  • Yup!

  • It’s been a pleasure. We will do this hopefully again soon in the future and I hope our viewers got something out of it.

  • Yeah!

  • Take care and we’ll talk again next time.

  • Okie dokie!

  • Can we do that one more time? Because I’m like a–

  • Yeah, absolutely.

  • Ok, I think it’s probably time to wrap this up Chris! Thanks a lot of doing this! I really appreciate it. I’m glad we disagreed on a couple of things but otherwise it seems that we do agree and hopefully our viewers got something out of it and thanks again we see you next time and hopefully we’ll do this again soon.

  • Yeah it was a pleasure. Thank you so much for coming on Brad!

	https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/chris-avatar.jpg	

Written by EBR Teamate

Chris Seiter

10 thoughts on “Brad Vs. Chris… The Battle Of The Breakup Gods”

  1. betty

    January 14, 2017 at 2:57 pm

    I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for six months that’s last year jan to June we talked about the issue and he forgave me, we spent quality time together bt when August came he said that he was struggling with our love and I should let it take a natural course I was confused bt I waited patiently we still met for short period of time and we even got intimate he even assured me that he would love me again then in the beginning of this year he told me that he’s not sure if his heart will accept me again so I told him I would be patient we even met and got intimate on jan third then on jan fifth he becomes cold with me he doesn’t pick my calls nor reply my call so I decided to give him time, texted him next day and he told me he had decided to be single untill further notice, I just said okay, he then texted me on eighth telling m to work hard in school I cried coz I miss bjm so much bt didn’t reply he even wished me a goodnight the same day, but replied the ne xt day, I wanted to start the nc but found my self calling him on 10th Jan asking him why and he told me that it’s not his fault I should concentrate on my studies it’s hard to keep my focus coz I miss him so much and ilove him what will I do

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 14, 2017 at 4:54 pm

      Hi Betty,

      if you are going to do the no contact rule, do 45 days and dont ever sleep with him again unless you’re officially back together

  2. Anca

    January 12, 2017 at 2:01 pm

    Hey!
    My bf broke up with me almost a month ago, after almost 2 years of dating. We had the best relationship ever, physically and emotionally (his words), but lately we got lazy and he feels he needs time alone. He had an infernal schedule the last couple of months and I was going through something as well, so things kind of changed since we first started dating (when we were both extremely active, social and positive people). He says I am everything he could ask for, but he is not ready yet. That we let ourselves go and we took each other for granted and needs to be alone.
    We talked briefly on Christmas, wishing each other well and after that just a text he sent me to thank me for a gift I had to get him as secret santa. Then I started NC, that is 16 days ago, but he won’t text me either. I don’t know if I should follow your program, or just wait for him to come back. He doesn’t want me to wait for him, because I deserve so much more, but the thought of me being with someone else is unbearable (his words). I know from his mom that he was really sad during the holidays, and he is constantly going out with friends to keep himself busy.
    In the meantime, I started working on myself: lost 15lbs, go out with friends, doing exercise, read a lot…I feel a little better, but he’s always always on my mind and I want him back so much!
    I purchased all of Chris’s books and they are very helpful, but I am in doubt whether should I continue with the plan, or let him be for as long as he needs. (He even talked about how I’ll change- cut my hair and stuff like that- by the time he comes back to me, but also said that he doesn’t know when or if will that be..)
    Any ideas?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 13, 2017 at 1:35 pm

      HI Anca,

      so, it’s like you’re just going to do nc and be active in improving yourself longer than usual and not initiate texting? If that’s so, set a limit on until when you do that.

    2. Anca

      January 14, 2017 at 3:06 pm

      I am already improving myself and making plans that make me feel better, traveling and everything. But I don’t know if I should stick with the 30days NC and then initiate texting (like Chris’s plan) or just adapt to my situation and wait for him to make the first step (which can be tomorrow, in a month, in a year, never..)
      And as for the time limit, honestly, I don’t want to be very strict. Maybe I set the date to be june 3rd and he calls on the 4th and I know I would bend my own rule. And knowing this now, it’s not helpful to think at a limit (knowing it doesn’t mean that much).

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 14, 2017 at 4:57 pm

      if its hard for you to set a limit..then do 45 days and then initiate contact

  3. Sarah

    January 10, 2017 at 7:44 am

    Hi,

    I’ve tried the NC with my ex a month ago but it doesn’t seem to work. We work at the same place which also makes it difficult. What can I do? Should I try a shorter NC?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 11, 2017 at 8:49 am

  4. Dorothee

    January 10, 2017 at 3:47 am

    Thanks for this great video 🙂
    My question! I completed a first no contact after a break up mid November (my ex texted me twice during that time) followed by a lot of your steps but saw my ex before completing all the building value steps and we ended up being intimate too early.
    I have messaged him a few times since including for new year’s and he is answering but not initiating the texts. The only time he texts is when I don’t contact him for a while.
    As my ex is completing his divorce he is in an odd spot emotionally and this is why he split from us, to protect me, us, himself, his kids (that I never met but he so afraid if we get more serious what will happen if we break up). But he is giving me mixed signals, he is jealous but saying I should date, he is asking me indirectly to wait but says I deserve more etc. For new year’s he basically wished me health and patience. But it is like a subtle way to ask me to be patient with him because no one ever wishes patience on new year’s lol.
    So I have decided to start a second no contact and give him space to complete his divorce (matter of weeks I hope) and have some time after alone to figure things out. I am hoping this second no contact will let him miss me and come back to me in the next weeks or months. Do you think it is a good way to go? All the while concentrating on myself, my new job etc…Doing sports, seeing friends.
    Direct from his mouth when I saw him “we were happy together” but his heart is closed off with good reason with the divorce he is going through with his ex (she is being very difficult), he is trying to hold it together and be a good dad. But I would hope he could see we are good together.
    I know I shouldn’t have been intimate but I don’t regret it…I just need advice to best move on and increase my chances to get him back. We have such good energy, chemistry, a real connection and I don’t want to lose it on a matter of timing or divorce. When we met and for the first 4 months we were in a great place (by then he was separated for 2 years). But as soon as divorce proceedings hardened he became distant, but it has nothing to do with us. It is all about his past.
    Any advice? I hope I will get an answer to this comment as I am not sure you got my few other comments 🙂

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 11, 2017 at 8:27 am

      Hi Dorothee,

      I think your plan is solid.. just stick to it. Make him miss you by moving on without fully moving on

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