It’s crucial. Yeah, absolutely. I also want to make a distinction. I think there’s an important distinction to make between the type of long distance relationship where you ex is like a 2 hours drive away versus the other side of the world. If you are in India and your ex is in Canada. That’s a long distance. It’s probably unfeasible ever. Whereas if it’s a few hours down the road, you can visit on weekends. That’s a completely different story and it’s almost not even long distance really at all.
I am actually going to disagree. So, we can exchange blows on this one. I think both in this situation that we’re specifically talking about and generally speaking, I’ve noticed this a lot with my coaching clients. People usually take their ex’s words at face value but I think in this case and in many cases, if not most, that’s not the real reason for the break up. I think that this person’s ex, the army training moving across country is just an excuse because they don’t want to hurt their ex by saying the real reasons why they want to break up.
Because really when you think about it and I like to talk a lot about the importance of attraction in romantic relationships and rebuilding your ex’s attraction for you and if that attraction is strong enough, and again that’s sexual, emotional attraction, that’s going to over power any logical concerns about distance or whatever and it’s not really going to lead to things like what we just talked about.
Now obviously in this case, the reason is army. So, all the things you talked about apply. He’s probably going to be shipped overseas for 6 months regularly. So, if they are going to be together, that has to be something that both of them are ok with but in this case, it just seems to me a little fishy. I think that her ex is probably using this as an excuse to justify the break up without hurting her.
So, my advice and what I disagree with you is basically I would not even consider what he said about that. I think that the real reasons for the break up are, he’s just not into the relationship enough to keep trying, to try and make it work for however long he’s going to be away in the long distance and if he was, it just didn’t hurt enough and if they were madly in love, they’d find a way to make it work. They’d come up with a plan to be together in the future and this wouldn’t be an issue.
So, my take is most of the time, your ex is, what they say after the break up ro the reasons for the break up are either completely false or partially true. So we disagree once again which is great. Living up to the title of the video there.