7 Definitive Steps On How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Miss You

5,888 thoughts on “How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup”

jess

March 17, 2016 at 11:46 am

hey, i really like reading your posts and articles. thank you for doing this wonderful job. Anyway i was indulged in texted this guy. we met at a meeting and i was sure he wanted to talk to me because he couldn’t take his eyes off me. then he texted and we starting chatting like for about 24*7. we couldn’t go a day without hearing from eaach other. He is a very busy person i know. still he managed to get all that time for me. He had a gf but they were about to break up. he never mentiioned her and we said ours is a relation without any emotional attachments it was just an entertainment.i didnt mind that. we even flirted a little and since he travels a lot n we did not meet until then so we were dying to see each other. then he once said that though emtions were not supposed to enter the picture he likes me a lot n perhaps things would get complicated. i am a chilled out irl so i didnt care much then. after we met it was great. he liked my company. we ended up cuddling nn getting all cozy when we met. he said it was like a dream to him. n then all of a sudden he got scared that w3e might get attached n it would be good for either of us. so i backed off. n then one day of no contact drove him crazy he wanted to be in touch. then things got even better until he was overburdened with his job that meant no more texting too much. n then we didn’t speak much for about a month. then when he was in town he appologised for being busy n asked me that i should understand n then we met. we got intimate and then it has been a month again we dont speak much. i agree he is very busy these days for some new project but then i miss him. he dpesnt even text or call me now. whenever i do he makes it a point to text me back or doesn’t ignore me. speaks to me but is always either too tired or busy with work. i am up for a no contact rule. has been about 3-4 days but i haven’t heard from him n i think he wouldn’t even realise i am missing. because unlike before he hardly comes online even except for 2-3 times a day. i miss the previous times. do you think no contact would help me make him miss me ? Please help

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 17, 2016 at 2:49 pm

Hi Jess,

I’ll be honest.. I think you went beyond the line.. He’s still not committing and now you are.. You’re now in it and he’s not… You need to keep that mind.. I don’t know how to say this but it’s not a real relationship… It’s either you make it clear to him what all this is or you cut ties

Taylor

March 17, 2016 at 8:47 am

My ex and I met shortly after we both separated from our spouses. We instantly hit it off as friends which after a month we both agreed we liked each other but didn’t want to be serious so soon. Well that ended up with us being together for a year not seeing anyone else meeting his family, taking vacations & talking about our future and having children. Our divorces were final and I mentioned being ready to be serious being that he had an active role in my daughters life (she was 5 months when we met) he said that he had fallen in love with me but wanted to be single and explore other options, since we started dating 2 months after we split from our exes. We live 5 houses down and to avoid seeing him I’ve been staying at my sisters. It’s been four days. The first day he didn’t contact me, but the last 3 days he has texted called, even went as far as calling from his mothers cell and house phone. I’ve not replied and I am standing my ground. I did receive and email about someone interested in a car I was selling for him should I forward that info to him or keep the NC up. It is hard not answering but I don’t want forwarding the email to look as if I want to talk. He asked to be single and I want to respect that but why is he still calling? Don’t get me wrong I want my boyfriend back but do not want to seem desperate or weak. Help!

Taylor

March 17, 2016 at 2:13 pm

He texted again this morning and told me to never contact him again since I couldn’t be an adult and answer his calls or reply to his text. I am still waiting for a response from my first post on here. I don’t want him to think I’ve given up or that I don’t care. Still needing help!
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 17, 2016 at 2:06 pm

Hi Taylor,

there’s an exception in breaking nc. That’s if he truly wants to work thing out by messaging you at least 7 times about it.. If he still texts you to have a talk in the coming days, hear him out.. Talk to him

Bridget

March 17, 2016 at 3:09 am

Hi! 🙂
So my boyfriend of about 6 months broke up with me a month ago. For the past 2/3 months he has been saying how his feelings have changed, and that he doesn’t think its fair on me to continue in the relationship when he no longer feels the same and when he wants time to focus on himself, and although we continued seeing each other, last month he made the break up official. I was completely devastated, and made all the typical mistakes of begging him to stay, begging him to try harder and put the effort in, constantly messaging him etc., but he made it clear that he couldn’t try anymore. Its been a month now since we officially broke up and since then I have not heard from him at all. I’ve been applying NC and have not reached out to him at all, but I still love him. Do you think its possible that he will come back? Should I continue applying NC? And if so, for how long? When he ended things, he told me that we could maybe still be friends in the future and speak again after some time and space. So do you think I should just wait for him to reach out to me, and if not, then move on? Thanks 🙂

Bridget

March 24, 2016 at 5:43 pm

Hi Amor,
Yes the NC is very much active. We have had absolutely no form of communication for just over a month now, around 35 days I would say. We still have each other on social media accounts like facebook, snapchat, twitter, instagram etc but we have not had any form of communication on social media or in person/ on the phone.
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 28, 2016 at 12:04 pm

You can try to initiate a contact now and then take it slow… don’t rush..rebuild the rapport first and attraction
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 17, 2016 at 1:13 pm

Hi Bridget,

how long are you in Nc? Are you making it active?

HT

March 15, 2016 at 7:25 pm

Hi,

The guy I have been dating past 7 months just broke up with me 3 days ago. Long story short, he is not ready to start a serious relationship but I am, so he started feeling pressure and also felt like he was wasting my time. He liked spending time with me but spending 5-6 days a week together was getting too much for him and when he pulled away, I took it as he didn’t want me anymore. I pushed him so much that made him say he does not want to see me anymore, it is too much for him.
I wanted to talk about what works for him and see if we can try that before breaking everything off but I think me being already frustrated about not being in a real relationship made me go little too extreme…
Anyways, I do miss him a lot and want him back even though if we get back together it will be under ‘his’ term. We exchanged text few times past two days and now I want to do no contact. It will be hard for me but how long should I do it? Until he contacts me?? And I cannot stop stalking him on FB, IG and Snapchat. I keep checking when he logged in the last, and post pictures to see if he ‘likes’ the picture. I almost feel like I should unfriend him but I don’t want him to think I am mad…. and it is awkward when you unfriend someone then send friend request again…

Thank you!

HT

March 16, 2016 at 4:41 pm

Hi Amor,

Thank you. I will do my best and keep you posted.
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 16, 2016 at 2:56 pm

Hi HT,

Do nc for you. And do it so that he would realize that you’re not going to chase him. If you’re also checking him out, make that time posting your own pics about your activities and your looks. Whenever you check his profile, think about yours. If you’re checking his profile more that means you’re not doing enough activities for yourself. Try to do 30 days, if you want to extend that’s okay.

Blindsided

March 15, 2016 at 6:33 am

Hello, Your material looks great but my introvert boyfriend of four months blindsided me by breaking up with me suddenly. I am looking at your steps and note he does not use social media…i.e. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Snapchat. I met his brother and sister and their respective partners but the friends I met live out of town. Can I still employ your methods in getting him back?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 15, 2016 at 2:19 pm

Hi Blindsided,

I think you need to read this blog post first. Introverted Ex Boyfriends Vs. Extroverted Ex Boyfriends (How To Approach Them)

Cynthia

March 14, 2016 at 1:44 pm

Hello,
I have read your article and find it so helpful. As I see that you help people, I thought I’d comment too, as my situation is so difficult.
My ex and I were in a 2 year relationship. We aren’t from the same country, but we met in his hometown where I was studying. We fell in love right away. Everything was perfect. We traveled a lot, met each other’s families. After I came back to my home country, things got complicated due to distance. I wanted to give him his “freedom” because I’m not sure when I’m going back to live there and I wanted him to live his college experience to the fullest.
I called and said we should probably take a break until we figure it out, he said he thought the same and wants to be friends because we still love each other so much. Then he suddenly blocked me on all social media and since I’m abroad that’s our only way of communication. I kept in touch with his family and kept reaching out to him.
He accepted to talk to me again a week ago (after 3 months of abstention). He says he’s happy where he is and was playing cool, but he refused to give any explanations on why he didn’t want to talk to me before. I was so grateful to get in touch I decided not to insist. One night he’d had a couple drinks and I talked to him about us, he said he didn’t talk to me to forget me, he wanted to move on. He also said he loves me still and that he believes in destiny and if we’re meant to be together we will one day.
I want to believe like him but I can’t. How can destiny make us come back again if we’re in two different countries? I want to be back with him and I want him to miss me because I feel like I’ve made myself taken for granted by insisting so much. I’ve tried the Social Media method, which is all the power I have, but it doesn’t work. Everyone likes my sexy profile picture except for him. I’m sure he must have seen it though, I know him well. I want to know what to do next to make him come back, when he still loves me, before I am replaced, espeicially that God only knows when I’ll be physically there with him. If I know for sure that he wants me, I’ll do anything to go back to his town, but I can’t abandon everything for a guy who could say “no”.

My experience is complicated but please help me, I’m desperate. I want to say, during the 3 months No Contact was so hard for me, I tried many ways to forget him but I know he’s the one for me. We always said that we were meant for each other.
Thank you! C.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 15, 2016 at 12:23 pm

Hi Cynthia,
o
I believe destiny helps those who take the right action, and take note the right action.. The good thing now is that you got to talk him but the hard part really is his belief.. Coz he’s going to act upon that, if he believes, destiny acts for you without you doing anything, then that means he really wouldn’t do anything to get back together with you.. But it can also be that he’s used to you reaching out to him and he doesn’t see the need to make an effort.

Monica

March 14, 2016 at 8:47 am

I just want to thank you and your team for everything you do and the support you give. I felt compelled to leave a message after a break up with an ex, getting him back and then breaking it off again. I was in a place where I was deeply in love with my ex. At a certain point he broke up with me. I was VERY devastated and could not stop thinking about him and hurting. I was so upset, I spent time on the web trying to find answers about my break up and how to get my boyfriend back. I came across your website (about a year or two ago). It was very helpful and it did give me the hope and support I needed. Time passed, painfully but time did pass with no contact. I applied some of the tactics which did have response. After a year we got in contact again decided to give it another go. Everything seemed even better than before and I really felt things were “different”. About 4-6 months into the relationship (honeymoon period), things were not going so well. After many months of painful contemplation on what to do I finally came to a realization. Somewhere along the lines, I was able to see my situation (everyone’s is different of course) outside of the box. I matured more somewhere in there and decided to break it off with him. I realized the whole entire time, I had given all of my personal power and sense of self-respect in his control. I needed to take it back. I’m just fortunate it wasn’t a seriously abusive relationship. I remember feeling and believing that he was THE ONE. I could see myself getting married, sharing my life, career, good and bad times with this person for a very long time. I mean it made sense at the time. We clicked. I got him and he got me, chemistry was intense and a lot of fun. After all that time missing him, thinking of him, wanting him back, etc, I finally am able to see more clearly. Don’t get me wrong, I still love the man… But the key thing was… I realized I was no longer IN LOVE with him and desired the relationship I DESERVED. I really appreciate and highly respect the steps that the Ex-Boyfriend Recovery Team or the EBRT =o) lays out for those really needing the support and hope and faith in their love lives. What I got out of it first and foremost was that step that includes “be the un-gettable girl” or the “Frank Sinatra Effect”… improve yourself, feel good about yourself, lift your self-esteem, confidence, and respect. WORK ON BEING ATTRACTED TO YOURSELF. When you are hurting so much that you feel the physical pain of heartbreak and loss, it is so difficult to see through that. After applying the tactics laid out here to get my ex’s attention, I had worked on myself so much… I realized I was better off without him. After I broke up with him… to my amazement, surprise, whatever… I felt… RELIEF!! I was finally past a certain point I needed to get through. My sister asked me if I remembered how much I got defensive, sensitive, and emotional about people mentioning or hinting around the concept of moving on from the ex. I honestly did not remember all that. At this time, It has been a month since I broke up with him. I feel like I’m out of the “cloud” and can focus on my self-care, work on my hobbies, improving my career, and definitely be open to the relationship I want to have. Shoot. I am definitely playing the no contact rule. Not to get him back. But to prove a point… You cannot take me for granted. My time is valuable. And I just don’t desire to continue things with him. It’s funny because getting a positive response when I was wanting it SO much was difficult. No that I am in a different from of mind, he sees that. He has already tried to contact me TWICE in two weeks. Nope. I am not taking the bait. I just wanted to share my ex recovery story and what my own personal experience was in the end of it all. There is of course a lot more to the story but I noticed when I am hyper focused on every minute detail, word, and trying to read between the lines in the relationship, I missed the big picture. If you are reading this I hope you don’t get the impression I am attempting to say that your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend recovery is doomed.. What I am trying to say that it’s hard to see clearly with flooding emotions. I needed to go what I went through. Even if things went good or bad. I needed to learn things. So do you. Your self-respect, dignity, and value is always number one. No matter what size, age, race, location you are in the world, you deserve to have and IT IS POSSIBLE to have the relationship you want. With or without your ex.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 15, 2016 at 12:09 pm

Hi Monica,

Thank you so much for sharing. You will inspire other readers with this!

Haley Heffner

March 14, 2016 at 4:44 am

Hello,
Me and my ex dated for over a year, we had a healthy relationship loved each other a lot and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. Unfortunately, I broke up with him because i was unsure if we were growing apart, although our love was always strong, he was really sad when the broke up happened and even cried. I was his first girlfriend and he’s a sensitive thing. He really is perfect and i always knew that. I just thought that since i am more attractive (really not trying to be conceited) but id been told i could do better a few times and i was bored with the relationship so i thought why not? i could do better. well the break up was confusing, we kept in touch, still acted as though we were a couple. We fought a little during the seperation and he said he couldn’t get back together with me because of all the things that were said. I think i was giving him too much power and i was making it obvious i really wanted him back. A few weeks later i find out he’s talking to another girl and i go MAD! i was really upset with him. Then he doesn’t talk to me for a few days, and then i go out on a date. I stupidly told him the day after knowing he would be upset but i thought he would just want to keep me. After this date i knew for a fact i didn’t want to be with anyone to but him. But he still didn’t want me back. Eventually he said that he can’t do it anymore, therefor we are done. Because we had been holding on to each other not letting go yet. I feel like I was pushing him away by contacting him telling him i want him back and that scares me because we loved each other so much and he said he would never leave me. I started the NO CONTACT RULE then after about 6 days i asked if we wanted to grab lunch just to catch up, he said he would have liked that but he already had plans with his best friend for lunch, (which is understandable) but he asked to reschedule and asked if i was free that weekend. He mentioned he was busy but he would try to move things around. He joined a band just before we broke up and thats what was taking all his time away, now he’s there a lot. We didn’t set a time or anything so it had to have been up to one of us to figure out when we were going to meet, but once saturday came along, even though everyone told me not to text him first, i did. i said what are you doing today? and he didn’t reply. sunday i said “if you didn’t want to meet you could have said, it wouldn’t have broke my heart”. and he didn’t reply. and i didn’t want to leave things like that and i wish i never texted him in the first place, i said “How come you are ignoring me” and then apologized for texting him and said goodbye. We were very in love when we were together and were extremely close. I don’t know how we got to this. I want advice on if you think i blew it? Im going to start the NC rule again but i want him to come running back i really hope it works. Thanks

Haley

March 17, 2016 at 11:35 pm

If the last time we talked we left on a pretty okay note. Then i made the mistake in waving to him when i saw him. but now I’m going nc.. he hasn’t reached out but do you think he will even care I’m not talking to him?
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 19, 2016 at 8:09 am

He’s human..so, hay care and just not show it
Haley

March 17, 2016 at 3:00 am

Yeah. The show would be at a party though, still unacceptable even if i avoid him? Would going with my girl friends and hanging around my guy friends, (potentially one of them he dislikes because he used to like me) would that make him jealous or angry? he is one of my friends. Lets say he’s moving on because of the band, is it still possible after the 30 days he will miss me and possibly reach out? What if he doesn’t reach out? Thank you so much for caring for other peoples relationships and feeling whom you don’t know that well. It means a lot <3
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 17, 2016 at 1:08 pm

Aww, you’re welcome. If it’s in a paru that’s ok coz he won’t think you came for him.. You can hang out with the guy that likes you, just be careful about being too showy..Make it subtle, sit down with him, talk have fun but don’t be too touchy..In that way at least he has nothing to be angry about but he would still be jealous
Haley

March 16, 2016 at 5:20 am

Okay, i agree. During the nc rule if i see him around is it a good idea to smile or wave? or go complete cold turkey. I’m afraid he’s gonna start moving on. And would it be a bad idea to go to one of his band shows? Its a small band, only people in our town go, my friends go. Do you think if i do these things he isn’t going to miss being in a relationship with me? I was his first girlfriend. Lately he’s been changing and doing things he wouldn’t normally do.
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 16, 2016 at 9:24 pm

Nope.. I understand the fear.. actually if he moved on, it’s more because he’s having fun being in the band.. and the purpose of noy interacting with him is to help you make him miss you.. If you’re being nice by smiling when you see him, for now that would put him at ease that you’re alright and being present in his shows will just make him think you’re chasing him
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 15, 2016 at 11:38 am

Hi Haley,

He may be having fun being in a band now.. So, yes, the next step is just to do nc.. and DON’T reply when he messages during it because that would mean you would come running back whenever he wants you to, and we don’t him to think that.

Julie

March 13, 2016 at 8:27 pm

Hello,

I guess I have concerns about how giving a month of NC would work. How can you be sure they haven’t started moving on by then? Is there a happy medium with two people who are very close and care about one another but not too much time where the other would get used to their life without you?

Julie

March 13, 2016 at 8:32 pm

So far it’s been a week of no contact and I don’t know how much further I can go…..it’s the longest I’ve gone in 4 years with not talking to him. I’m going crazy because he’s the closest person to me and I feel heartbroken like he may not care, even though he says he does. But I feel like he would’ve contacted me by now if he did.
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 15, 2016 at 6:23 am

Hi Julie,

No contacts effect depends on the situation and we’re not guaranteeing it would get him back 100% but most of the time, if not always, it has helped to increase the chances because the ex misses you and had time to think or the doer of the nc to heal and reflect.. It takes 66 days to make or break a habit, so after 30 days, he’s still not over thinking about you..but as I’ve saod, it differs with every situation.. If he was moving on long before breaking up with you or the relationship is really toxic, nc might help both of you to break the negativity and move on.. Make your nc active.. this is the time to find out what makes you happy and to grow and to be emotionally stronger

noreen

March 13, 2016 at 3:13 pm

Hi ..my boyfriend broke up wth Me Two weeks before for a reason that he wanted to be free to do his things because he was tired of seeing Me crying everyday because of his unpleasant behaviours like too much partying..spending most of his time with his friends,having too many friends of opposite sex claiming that they are just friends but he chats filthy and nasty things with them and he says he is only playing with his minds and he would never allow Me to touch his fone, since we broke up i have kept my silence and also he has Not checked on Me until today that i called him to know how i will get my belongings from him and he said tommorow he shall bring Me..should i speak anything about us when we meet or just take,my things and go??should i still hold on to him with all his behaviours?is there a chance that he will come bak to Me??coz through out our rship i have been helping him Alot with surviving money,paying him college fees,supporting his bussinesses,buying gifts for his family butin the end he broke up with Me,what should i do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 14, 2016 at 3:14 pm

Hi Noreen,

You’ve been giving much and I know love means giving but if you’re giving your all, then that’s not love, that’s need. For me, you shouldn’t get back with him.

YD

March 11, 2016 at 2:43 pm

Hi, my ex broke up with me almost two months ago. It was completely out of the blue. We dated for over a year and he claimed that he was not ready to take the next step (engagement) and didn’t feel he would be ready in the near future. He couldn’t explain why he felt like this. He claims that he loves me and has feelings for me but “its more complicated than that”. I have not spoken to him since. I want to reach out so that I can meet up with him to get my things. I am wondering if this would be a good idea and what should I say in this text? Also, do I have to start the NC period after I pick up my things or can I wait a couple of days to reach out again. Any advice would be very helpful. Thanks

YD

March 14, 2016 at 4:00 pm

Thanks Amor. That is what I am hoping for a positive meetup. I’ve been afraid to go get my things because I’m scared this will be the absolute end. I’m hoping that this will trigger something in him to realize that we should really be together and that he made a mistake in wanting to break up. Its not often that one can come across someone that you are so compatible with. We are like the male/female version of each other, and as he often said it, what we have is very rare to find now a days. Hopefully I won’t get emotional while I’m with him.
YD

March 13, 2016 at 4:36 pm

Thanks Amor. How long after I get my things should I wait to text him again? And what type of text should I use at that point? Also is the text that I suggested above ok for me to send to him when I want to get my things?
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 14, 2016 at 3:40 pm

Yes, you’re text to get your things is good! 🙂 I hope your convo when you get things will be positive and that you have a convo that you can continue to text in the next or two days after you get your things. If not, it depends if it a neutral meetup or negative.. but keep in your mind that it has to be positive.. so, you will act on it.. and besides it’s been a month, hey may have missed you.. Don’t forget, look your best, smell your best and act with your best outlook..
YD

March 12, 2016 at 5:00 pm

Thank Amor. It hasn’t been two months yet, but yes we haven’t spoken at all since the break up. I don’t know about meeting him at a coffee shop to get my things. I don’t know of any around his place and I know he is busy studying for a promotional exam that is coming up in a few months, and even though he didn’t quite say it, I think this is part of the reason why he broke up with me. Would it be a bad idea to go to his place, obviously after he says its ok for me to do so? Also how should I text him about it. I was thinking of texting “Hi. How are you? Is it ok if I stop by to pick up my things on…” If I meet him in his apartment how can I make that a turning point for him to start talking to me again? Also, how long after I pick up my things should I wait to text him again? He’s a big game of thrones fan (i’m not really into these kinds of shows, but I watched it with him) so I kind of want to use that to my advantage. Thanks
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 13, 2016 at 5:21 am

hmmm.. yeah, you can, it’s been oast a month so I think it would be okay to go to his place.. Bring food, snacks so you can spend a small time to catch and up talk
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 12, 2016 at 10:14 am

Hi Yd,

You didn’t talk for the whole two months? If you didn’t, you can try to reach out to get your things.. and then make that meet like a starter before you text him.. meet him in a coffeeshop, sit inside so, you can have a little chat and make it light..
it’s not a date.. it’s just a meetup but you have to make it a turning point for him to start talking to you again..

Carla

March 11, 2016 at 6:25 am

Hi,
I have been reading for a while now, and I just wanted to me maybe get a more personal opinion about my situation.
My ex girlfriend of 5 months broke up with me about 10 days ago.
We first had some issues because I read her text messages, and found out that she had feelings for her ex (I think part of the reason why she let the door open was because I was not sure what I was going to do with my life: job, school, moving out of town). I thought that maybe she was confuse because by this time I had been struggling with the depression for a while, and I know at some point she was depress too, but I stood around even though it was difficult to not think it was personal, and after a month and half she was on her feet again.
Even though it was 5 months, we had a very intense relationship, we pretty much stayed together every day, and had a whole rutin together, and she seemed very in love with me. She would tell everyone I was the one, and that she was going to marry me one day. Our families were very supportive, we had good sex, yes some arguments, but nothing too big, we do have a lot of things in common, and we had fun together.
On the other hand, I was more rational and always kept things a little more calm. she wanted to move in together (even though we already slept together every day, either my place, or her place) and I decided it was too soon, she wanted to get rings (a sentimental promise ring) and I decided that I was too afraid to do that (I told her I just did not want jinx it).
After she recovered from her depression, she found her dream job, and she was concern that I was still not happy with my current life. I have come to the conclusion that me not doing too much to recover from depression was part of her breaking up with me.
I know that texting an ex is not okay, although I believe it is okay to have feelings to maybe the memory or still care about them, just not to act on them. I was still in contact with my ex, but I knew i was in love with my current, it is hard to let go sometimes when they have been your friend.
The day we broke up, she came home with flowers and chocolates, and I had flowers and candies as well for her, (5 months that day) and that day I decided I was not gonna tell her about what I read, but instead I was gonna try to let her know how much the relationship meant to me, even though my depressions was maybe messing up our connection. I wrote something very deep and beautiful for her, and then I gave her a speech to get her to be honest and see if she would tell me about the messages. I told her that I knew things were difficult, and that I wanted us to really give it a chance, and that we needed to be honest to built a solid relationship, and not something based on lies. I told her I understood having feelings for the ex, but that it didn’t have to mean that we were not in love with each other. she cried and said she loved me and that yes, she wanted to be with me, and even that day early on she kept on mentioning the moving in together thing. Then I pushed a little more with the “honesty” subject, and she cried for a very long time to then tell me she was not sure anymore about her being the right person for me. She said she was confuse, she was trying to figure herself out, and that she thought this was what she wanted, but she was not sure anymore.
I felt heartbroken right away, I felt so confuse of how she was so nice to me until the last minute, and how I didn’t get the hints, or anything. I left, and she cried during the entire break up.
4 days later after not talking, and me not eating, sleeping, and goes on … I had a very difficult situations where I saw the person responsable for my PTSD, and it trigger a bad episode where I tried to commit suicide. That day I texted and told her i knew she had feelings for her ex, she explain to me that was very stupid of her texting about that since she realized right after she saw her that she had been done (social media shows she has been with her bff at all times). she said that she was struggling too with the breakup, I asked her why she couldn’t give me a little more time to get my life together, and she said this “I couldn’t see a future with you anymore, I knew it in my heart”, I asked her how could she tell me I was the love of her life the same day we ended things, she replied “I just wanted you to be so bad”.
After a lot of thinking, I know it was from both sides, I wasn’t taking care of myself, she was in a very stable place in her life, and one thing lead to other. I was not necessarily the best one to make her feel safe that I was not gonna leave.
I am having a hard time right now, I feel like I lost her, but there is something inside if me that feels that there is no way she was good, loving, caring to me until the last day just because. I just can’t understand how can she be nice, and say all these things to then change her mind just like that.
I am currently during my day #7 of NC. that was her last text message, and I haven’t replied since then. She has not contacted me either.
I think from all the conversations I have had, the 30day rule seems perfect, I know I want to get better and I am already on it, but I am missing her so bad, it was just over night of having her all the time around, to not knowing anything other than some pictures with her bff.
What are your predictions based on just these details I stated above?
I understand its not too much, but other fact I can think of is that every single person (mutual friends, or social circle, and family) was very shocked about out break up, and specially coming from her.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 11, 2016 at 12:22 pm

Hi,

if she’s really just confused then make no contact a reason for her to choose you.. Improve yourself, post it and be positive..if she’s still confused aftet no talking to you for a month, then distance yourself.. tell her you understand her but you can’t wait forever

ness

March 11, 2016 at 5:56 am

I was in a relationship for almost two years. In a nut shell, he found me on Facebook since we went to high school together and we started talking. Met up for drinks and hit it off from there. We were so in love, I moved in to his house 6 months into the relationship. Everything was unicorns and rainbows, we never fought, only little stupid arguments. So anyway he started acting distant in January and told me “we needed to take a break” because he feels “we want different things”. I slept in the guest room for two weeks and one day he sent me a text saying he wanted me to move out. He said his “feelings changed”. Well I’ve been staying with my brother for the last month or so. I haven’t completely moved out of his house because a: my parents have been out of the country for the last two months and told me not to move into their house until they get back B. I figured I would give it time before the breakup became final. I’ve done no contact on and off, but I’ve had to contact him because I needed things from him and what not. I feel lost because I don’t even know what to do. My parents are back next week and I am running out of time for him to change his mind.

ness

March 11, 2016 at 3:41 pm

I’m waiting it out. I’m putting the stuff that I did take and putting it into storage. The rest I’m going to wait a little longer. I admit that the two times I saw him after the break up, I cried and said he was making a huge mistake, but I haven’t brought it up since, it’s been three weeks now and I went on vacation for 10 days, plastered pictures of me having fun on Facebook. The funny thing is, we have been broken up since the end of January and it still says we are in a relationship with either on there. He says his “feelings changed”, but I feel like it can’t be over. I havent talked to him in almost two weeks now, I am waiting it out I think. I’m afraid that once everything is out of his house (I have a lot of stuff and furniture ) it’s going to be over forever.
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 11, 2016 at 12:13 pm

Hi Ness,

If you were just talking for the things, that’s okay with no contact as long as you don’t talk about feelings and the relationship… but once your parents have come home, would you move right ahead with them even if you’re in no contac? or you want to wait this out first and talk to him before your parents come home?

SAd and confused

March 10, 2016 at 10:48 pm

Hi. First time on the site. Wanted a second opinon. I was dating a guy for about 4 months and everything was going quite well. He accompanied me to my sisters wedding, I went to his cousins wedding. We were basically BF/GF but never really established a title. Apparently he was unsure of what he wanted and didnt know he wanted a “long term rel” i told him we could talk it slow and see what happends. We continued dating till about a week ago when I was felt that we were going backwards instead of forwards. I told him since he was still unsure about what he wanted that we should just no longer be involved. He continued to write and call after that, so I was confused. We had one last conversation and apprently he hadnt understood that meant no longer speak. I told him that in the end this is what he wanted. and he said he respected how i felt and my needs and what I wanted. I want to get him back but I dont know if this applied since I am the one who told him I needed my space and please to not write etc…..

Now I’m just sad and conused…Help?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 11, 2016 at 1:36 am

Hi,
I think you can try.. If you’re active in social media, be active in posting.. the time apart and silence can make him miss yoi

Confused

March 9, 2016 at 10:42 pm

my boyfriend and I were together for a little over a year. he broke up with me because he was unhappy, as he says. we dated before, only for 4 months the first time, and I broke up with him the first time too. the second time, which is now, he said he was unhappy with the little arguments we’ve had over and over. he told me he cared and wanted me to still be his friend, so that’s what I did. during this time, we had hung out once and we ended up kissing. he said he felt uncomfortable when we did though and that made me feel even worse. he texted me a lot first, he asked me to call him sometimes just so we can talk, and I talked to my friends about all of this and even in person he’d do flirty moves like initiating a hug or calling me some nicknames we gave each other in the relationship which is strange. he asked all the time how I was and cared. I asked him how he was too and he said he was perfectly fine. 2 months later, which is now, I asked one of my friends if I should meet this guy one of my other friends wanted me to meet to see where it goes. it never happened, but I considered it. my friend I asked for advice ended up telling my ex about this. he said how it’s hypocritical sense I wanted to get back with him and wanted him to not move on, but now I am trying to move on, but I wasn’t going to try anything with the new guy my friend wanted me to meet. i just considered meeting him. my ex is really upset with me and said stuff like “being around you is sickening me”, “you’re being unfair”, stuff like that. he also said how I’ve been putting him through a lot during the past month and a half because of how we just broke up too, but he never mentioned this other then that time. every other time he seemed fine without me. I didn’t think meeting someone new would’ve been bad for me and my friends thought it too. he mentioned several times he wouldn’t care if I tried meeting someone new, he wants the best for me, and that he only saw me as a friend so why is it now that he’s taking this so bad? he told my friend he never wanted to speak to me again and be okay with everyone else, not me though. but then today he told me he just didn’t want to speak for a while. he also said all of the things he did like the hugging, texting/calling first, the nicknames, everything like that was because of how he was just my friend and he was joking about the names and caring to see how I was and he denied having feelings for me, but with the actions it just seems like hes just being in denial about it. especially the fact that this bothered him. so he asked for space and we started no contact and I’m already starting to miss him. I feel like I’ve screwed up any chance I had back with him. I know the no contact is for the best, but I don’t know what to think. I don’t know if he meant what he said or not, he’s good at hiding his feelings, but this has been so hard for me and I just want him back. was I wrong for considering meeting my friends friend? what do you think I should do? I know I should continue no contact, but when I’m ready, should I initiate the first text or should I wait for him?

Confused

March 19, 2016 at 3:18 pm

Thank you. But what do you think I should do if my mind doesn’t change about talking to him? I know I’m probably thinking ahead too much, but I’m just really lost on this. I just don’t know if I should wait for him or make the first effort in the future if this does end up happening. 🙁
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 20, 2016 at 7:32 am

It’s okay to initiate.. think of interesting topics for him to apply in first contact
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 10, 2016 at 11:01 pm

Hi Confused,

I think he’s being selfish.. finish no contact.. because you may change your mind about messaging when you’re near the end..

Sru

March 9, 2016 at 8:19 pm

I am in a relationship since 1 n a half year… Starting months we were at the same place bt slowly slowly as we were from different places we meet within 1 month so we decided to go to same place for graduation n we succeded bt my dad shifted me somewhere else just I was not able to go for my choice.. n unluckily distance came.. day aftr day we started fighting n it became so mess that everything ended up aftr 8 months of relation.. After 2 months we both tried to be in contact n we did that.. though we talk now bt everyday we fight n breakup.. i loose my temper n he starts abusing.. I am fed up so I tll him to end up n he do that,, but then I love him.. I cant stop thinking about jim.. What to do??? PLEASE HELP

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 9, 2016 at 10:11 pm

Hi Sru

if it has been a bad cycle..then it’s better to give each other space

Shannon

March 9, 2016 at 6:47 pm

It has been almost three months of no contact between my ex and I. We have broken up before and it took him about 2 months before he contacted me. He is very stubborn. But my problem is I believe it isn’t a good idea to move into to the texting phase because of his actions. He is acting out on social media subtly. He shared a joke meme that negatively referenced my name in it. I believe it was to get a rise out of me. Last week he delete himself from our mutual friend group chat. But two days ago we walked by each other in passing and we had this lingering eye contact for a long six seconds. This eye contact has happened every time we see each other at school. (It’s rare that we see each other though). I don’t know what to do. He broke up with me because he “didnt want to be in a relationship because it was comfortable”. But we dated for almost 3 years. He is also sharing things are Facebook that imply sadness. He hasn’t talked to our mutual best friend either. Yesterday a mutual friend said hi to him and he ignores her. He is cutting people off. I dont know what is going on with him. I don’t know what to do next. I feel like he is acting out for my attention. Him looking at me in passing feels very emotional and like he’s trying to read me or get me to do something. Whatever he is doing I believe he is going about it negatively. What do I do?

Shannon

March 15, 2016 at 3:50 pm

Yeah. I dropped off his stuff last night. It was a short exchange. Afterward he texted me and said that would have liked to talk but he didn’t know what to say. And that he “didn’t think he was ready to talk yet”. Should I give him more space for a couple weeks? What should I do?
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 15, 2016 at 4:06 pm

I think he meant he was not ready what to say, but maybe if you were the one taking hold of the conversation, he can engage. because he said he liked to talk, he just doesn’t know what to say.
Shannon

March 14, 2016 at 5:49 am

Ironically enough, my ex texted me yesterday. (Haven’t spoke since the break up 3 months ago) He was asking if I had a folding table of his. I told him I wasn’t sure but that I’d let him know once I got home and looked. I ended the convo after a light joke that he responded positively too. Today I texted him and told him I did have his table. He response was “sweet”. He made no effort to arrange to get it… So I asked if he just asked to know if I did or not and he said no he would get it next week “maybe”. I told him I could drop it off because since I drive near his house often because of school and my house is out of the way. I had an exclamation mark to show enthusiasm and his response was “are you yelling at me over text?”. I was so shocked to read that. I told him no, that I was only trying to make his life easier and he said “okay haha thanks”. WHAT?? We never fought in our relationship and I have never yelled at him, even over text. What should I do? Why is he being so weird? Our breakup wasn’t bad at all and Our relationship was great to me. I don’t understand him right now. How should I proceed?
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 15, 2016 at 11:45 am

But isn’t his “haha” meant he understood that you’re not angry?
Shannon

March 11, 2016 at 12:33 am

What should I do?
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 11, 2016 at 1:45 am

hmmm try to smile at him first when you bump into each, make it short and natural.. just a short smile and then proceed to where you were going..then observe of he becomes engaging after that
Shannon

March 9, 2016 at 10:32 pm

I only see him in passing. But we have eye contact the entire time. He seems approachable when we pass because he is looking me in the eye for such a long time.
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 9, 2016 at 9:53 pm

If he’s being negative, yes don’t text.. but is he more engagin in person? I mean is he approachable?

Confused

March 9, 2016 at 3:23 pm

I want a good opinion on what I should do and what to think. Long story short: I’ve met a guy and we hit it off really well as friends. He was in a relationship and had huge problems with constant fights. Later on she broke it off and me and him kinda hooked up and entered into FWB situation. He was really always soooooo good and sooooo nice, would always hug me, kiss me, hold my hand and all, but we kept it a secret because we both didn’t want the ex to know. They were still engaged and I knew that as well, didn’t bother me – he was after all my friend. I was uncomfortable because the ex kinda talked to me as well about him but I’m just generally a caring person unable to say NO so I helped her as well but as away from it as possible. Anyway, we would always go out, we’d stay at his, we’d do everything fun, we never had any real problems. Then the ex was out of the picture for good and all the focus was on me….until it wasn’t anymore. He did have sex with others and I would know (he didn’t have to tell me), but I was always the main girl he’d spend time with and put effort in. I was also not keeping it a secret that I was dating and sometimes mistakes happen and spelt with people (he however didn’t tell me things like that, everything else but that). So, another girl came to a picture and I remember I was with him when he showed me her picture and said ”isn’t she cute?!”…it was hard to hear but I kept my composure, got dressed and went home with a fake smile on my face. He then started to ”forget our plans” and putting me second place after that girl. I bluntly asked him what’s going on and he said they’re just hanging out la-la-la I have nothing to worry about and I don’t have to ”back out”, if he wanted a relationship he would be in one with her. He still cared and noticed if he speaks of her i change, he was sweet about it and complimented me a lot and all…but I was getting really yealous and insecure already so rather than focusing on what he offered me (which is loads of compliments, always talking to me, always asking me out, being with him for 2-4 times a week, all the rest) I focused on when he chose someone else, when he chose her before me – it felt shitty. And so I started the dreaded esseys of how i feel and what I miss and how he’s not giving me what he used to, la-la-la 8 months in. It was always mostly my ego but I also had to admit I kinda like him as more than just a friend and we do have amazing relationship I’d not say no to taking it further. Well, I decided to tell him that and offered him to make a choice (mistake, right??) of what happens. he said he loves, absolutely loves having sex, cuddling, kissing, hanging out, going out dancing with me and he’s afraid he’s gonna hurt me so he’s not sure of what to do. I told him to do what feels right, he said he’s not sure, nothing feels right. So we just kinda…continued on. He even said he likes me, he would consider me (for relationship when he’s ready), he made sure I know he only sees her once a week and they don’t always have sex. But I also continued, even more so, with the pressure…with my big long writting of my feelings when he was out with ANYONE but me…and essentially it got to the point he started ignoring them…and he would become more distant and less efectionate…and to the point he said we’re done and things will be how he wants them to be, he’s single and free and I’m just acting like a bad girlfriend (he even on few occasions compared me to his ex) and that I keep doing this to people who really care about me, I just find things and keep pushing them away because I’m so afraid of losing them and I take things so personally and all. He was right on all! I begged (yeah I know, bigggg mistake) to give me last chance because he knows it’s not me, it’s not what I do and he knows me (because it really is not me, I’m always calm and relaxed, but got into a lot of stress and projected in low self-image and then everything else)…he gave me another chance and was a bit distant for a week but then he’d go back to how he was..untill we had another fallout (this time with my friend causing it) and even though he accepted it was all a missunderstanding, I was pushed away so far it’s crazy. And I started pushing in…and than felt like I was the only one who wants to hang out anyway (even though he invited me over few times)…and he also found ANOTHER fwb who he does everything with he used to with me (minus the personal things he still talks only to me about), he seemed less interested in me (again, I know he pulled back a lot) and we got into another fight (i was living with him because of the problems I was facing at home for a week, he went out on saturday, we had a bath together and he would kiss me like he used to but than not come back home at all that night, came back at noon later and went out with the other girl AGAIN, spent weekdays at home reading and all but we had a plan on going to the lake on sunday, he was meeting one girl on friday, other on saturday)…so comes friday, he comes home, brinds me chocolatee and we have a quick cuddle (we had sex that day during the day), he wants us to share a beer before i go out with a guy (he said it’s a date but it really wasnt) and him on his date. I offer him to leave me the keys, ill be faster than him but he offers to just wait for my call when I come and he’ll come back. And I should stop drinking or drink some water because if I don’t I’ll just come ”crying” how I made mistake again and feel ashamed (I always feel horrible kissing anyone or having one night stand and I’d always went to him about it -only happened 3 times though) and I said no. Anyway, I come back, I feel a bit frisky (alkohol) and climb on him, start kissing him and he says he’s tired. I was a bit shocked (he’s really horny all the time) so I just get up, go brush my teeth, go under my covers to sleep. He starts ”teasingly” tell me I’m annoyed now. And I tell him no (I just felt rejected a bit). He said I got sex today already, he’s just tired and I am annoyed. And I again said no, I just wanna sleep. And I still don’t know what he said or how he got my blood rushing, I just know I accused him of him not caring anymore, not being my friend anymore, he always picks me last, he got mad and things were really bad. He ended the conversation with: listen to me and this time listen to me good. You were and still are special to me, but you need to stop doubting me. In the morning I did apologize for it and tried to tell him I just miss what we used to have, but he’d just go off on me again and said I pushed him away with being sooo scared I’ll be replaced when he told me many times that’s not gonna happen that now it did. And that we’re now just gonna be platonic and he’s gonna do and see whoever HE wants and I should find myself another buddy to do all the rest with. He said that again with anger. And then he got ready and went on a date with a girl. He came back home WITH HER, talked and flirted with her in front of me, took her hand in front of me and all in all made me feel like shit, barely talked to me, just joked about my ”date” on friday and stuff…and that went on for full day. When we were alone he did ask me if I’m okay, and I did say no, I don’t wanna see that in front of me but he kept doing it..I acted as cool as I could, was talking to the girl while trying to avoid his eyes, and then he invited me on the bed for a cuddle with BOTH OF US, while he was petting her. The girl said in 10 minutes she’s going home and he asked if he can come with her. He went to hug me and I just started feeling sooooooooooooo rejected and so disrespected I just wanted to pack my things and go to my shitty hell of a home..and I begged him to just wait so I pack it and go, he didn’t. I called him 5 times and he didn’t pick up, sent him texts saying to just come for 5 minutes so I give him the keys (only one keys we had) and I just want to go home. He came, he was really official with me, said I keep causing issues, I stayed calm and said I know I pushed him to it but I just wanted what we had back and he’s not perfect either. Asked him if he’s still attracted to me and he said no, not like that anymore and it’s because of this drama you keep causing. I said I’m not ending a friendship, I just don’t wanna be yelled at again and him being mad and if I want things to get better I need to go home now. I stayed calm. No tear, no nothing. I then a day later wrote to him that I am ashamed of how I acted and I put everything on him and I’m truelly sorry (i did not make any promises, I made those and broke them many times) and i want us to rise from that, i do love him and love spending time with him and our friendship and i’m giving him his space (he said he needs to be away from me for a bit) and to text me when he wants…amm and now i don’t know what to do next. How to act, what to do, I’m afraid he’s not gonna contact me at all (he is really a person who once you lose u lose for good). I don’t know what to think from his actions either. He never has done that ever before. I pushed him too far, I know. I pressured him, I started revolving my world around him (i lost many friends doe to all the madness in my life, I also lost myself, I’ve never done that before to anyone!!! It’s not my character! he just doesnt believe me anymore- who can blame him). I pushed him away. I really want what we had back, but the more he pulls away, the crazier I get and I obsses with little stupid things, not the big picture. And when he says he cares and does show, but than acts distant I have zero patiance to actually give him time to come trough and rather focus on my life. I used to be really independant and fun and just easy going and I know he loved me like that..I know I need that back. I was thinking about writing a nice long letter about how I know what I did and to remind him of who I am and all bt i dont think it’s a good ideal. I need him to cool down and come back. But what if he doesnt? this time around? and if he does, how can I get back his respect and his attraction to me? ”turn back time” if you will. Yes, by getting back my self-respect and all, I’m working on that but I don’t think anything I’ll do will ever change his mind. I think even no contact will help because he only sees the negatives now anyway, not how it was 3 months ago. How do I remind him of that? WITHOUT looking needy and pushy and a pushover (that I’m usually not!)? What to think about his last actions – even with him being angry, he always seemed to care about my emotions but not past few days. So HELP ME PLEASEEEE!!

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 9, 2016 at 9:08 pm

Hi Confused,

To be honest, as long as you agree to have sex with him..he will continue to see you as a booty call.. You have to be prepared to lose him if he’s not treating you right..

It’s time you set your standards.. people may treat us wrongly but it’s upon us when it stop.. The people who stays in our life are the ones who fit in our standards or the ones we please to stay…choose carefully who you please to stay

Vicky

March 9, 2016 at 1:23 pm

Hye, I’m a girl from Belgium and I’m really desperate. I’ve searched on multiple websites for some answers but didn’t find a really good answer of what to do now until I found this website. I’m sorry for my English, this is not my mother language so I will try.

I have/had a boyfriend for 3 months now. Before him I had a relationship for about 3,5 years. I broke this of to be with the man I’m in love with right now. My boyfriend had a relationship of 4 years and broke it of to be free. He had always been kind of a nerd and after his break up he had a taste of a life full of party, woman, friends and attention wich was very new to him until he met me after 3 months of partying and going out. We where totally in love and it immediately clicked and after the second date we started a relationship. Everything went great, he introduced me to his parents, his friends and he even planned a future with me but he was still going out 4 times a week until very early in the morning. I went with him to party once a week but the other days he rather go with his friends alone. I didn’t see him very much but he tried to give me enough attention wich was very difficult for him.

The day before yesterday he acted really wierd and asked me if we could go for a drink. My heart sank and I knew there was something wrong… He told me that he really loved me but that he couldn’t bare to not go to parties and have attention from friends, women,… He said he didn’t knew what to do with himself because he was torn between two worlds. Me and his party life and single life. He said he thought it would pass by when he met me but it became sort of an addiction to party and drink alcohol and have attention from everyone. He felt like everything went to fast for him. He cried and felt really desperate and was angry at himself for having this feeling. He said he was scared that he would hurt me in the future and that he didn’t want this to happen. He also didn’t want to lose our relationship and didn’t know what to do with himself. He wants me but he also want party and single life and he can’t have both. My boyfriend is someone that isn’t really much of a talker so for him to be honest with me was a really big step. He never was honest with his ex girlfriends but with me it was different he said. He wished he had met me a year later so he have had enough time to be free and enjoy the single life. But he is now to much invested in me to just break of the relationship. He needed time to think and find out what he really wants.

He also said that I was to easy in our relationship. I never set boundary’s for him so he didn’t have a stop on his behavior. I never said anything about other woman or about his partylife. I just let it happen because I was to scared to lose him. I know that was maybe very stupid but I couldn’t help it. So he thinks I’m a little to soft in some situations. I think that’s maybe the reason why he needs attention from other women. I’m maybe to obvious and to easy. He knows I will never leave him.

We decided to have a break in our relationship and slow down everything so he could decide what he wants to do. I don’t know how te feel right now and I’m really really sad 🙁 ! I feel like I’m sort of second choice. I don’t know if I have to use the no contact rule on him because he is not really my ex already… He called me once yesterday and send me text messages to ask me how I’m dealing with it. I answered really short after 5 hours. I try use the no contact rule but I don’t know if this is the right way to make him want me because we are not really broken up yet. Please I need some advice of what to do with this situation because I’m really desperate and hurt.

Vicky

March 10, 2016 at 2:00 pm

Hey, yes he wants to have Some time to think and be apart but we are not really broken up. I’m afraid he will chose to have his single life back…
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 10, 2016 at 11:57 pm

Okay.. I think you should this post out
How To Prevent A Breakup With Your Boyfriend When You Know It’s Coming
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 9, 2016 at 8:29 pm

Hi Vicky,

I just want to be sure, he asked time apart from you but you’re not broken uo?

Anon

March 8, 2016 at 9:39 pm

Okay, so I was seeing this guy for a few months and then he ghosted me. However, my best friend is his best friend (how we met) and so I still see him around. But, when I do see him, he completely avoids me, insults me, or brings his new hook up buddy with him to rub it in my face that he’s hooking up with someone else. (i dont believe they’re dating…at least my best friend says they’re not.) anyway, how do I get him to want me again, and not this new girl he’s hooking up with? I really just want him back.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 9, 2016 at 6:12 pm

Hi Anon,

if he’s disrespecting you, are you sure you want him back?

« Previous 1 … 34 35 36 37 38 … 118 Next »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

5,888 thoughts on “How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup”