7 Definitive Steps On How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Miss You

5,888 thoughts on “How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup”

Sarah

March 24, 2016 at 4:33 pm

About a week ago, my boyfriend and I broke up. We’ve been together for 3 years, and practically live together (also with 1 of his friends) with hopes of getting our own place this year..

On Thursday (St Patrick’s day) we went to a bar/lounge to watch a friends band play to celebrate. He decided to drink more than he planned and was fairly drunk. For some reason he was being a tad obnoxious towards me. At times he was normal, then other times he was short with me and I wasn’t sure why. I guess it’s because he was drunk and I wasn’t, I was unhappy he had drank so much more than he planned I suppose.

I decided to leave early because he made a drunk comment that upset me. A few minutes after I left, one of his friends tells me he had kissed (or “made out”) with some random girl. Now my boyfriend (or ex) is not a cheater. He never has before, has never been unfaithful to me and I’ve never had to worry about him and another woman.

After our friends who were there found out, most people told him “you’re a piece of shit” “how could you do that” “you’ll regret that” etc etc. He texted me saying it was over. Friday we did not speak to each other. Saturday morning he messaged me an apology. A very sincere apology that he was disgusted with himself, I didn’t deserve anything that had happened and he was “sick to his stomach that’s how things ended”.

I know he didn’t mean to do what he did. No he shouldn’t have done it and it’s not an excuse he was drunk. But that’s not a huge deal to me. If it happened again then it would be different. He wasn’t texting some girl behind my back and meeting up to sleep together, to me that’s really cheating. I went to his place on Saturday after he apologized to talk. It was very hard. He said he was unhappy and didn’t know how he felt anymore. He claims not to love me anymore because of what he did. He said he’s been way more drunk before and he’s never kissed another girl. So if he could so easily turn around and do that, then he doesn’t love me anymore. I cried, he cried. I did and said everything I could to make him change his mind. But I couldn’t. We have not spoken since.

We have broken up a few times in the last 3 years. I’ll admit we have had our fights. And in the last 2 weeks I have been in some slump of disappointment I cannot get out of and I’m not sure why.

Him and I are best friends. We literally finish each others sentences every day and think the same things so often it’s almost creepy. I’ve told ex boyfriends I’ve been with in the past that I’ve loved them. But I’ve never been IN love with someone. I don’t believe he doesn’t love me, there’s no way. Because he was never acting distant, he never seemed off or unattracted to me. This is such a shock to me. All last week and even Thursday morning he was hugging me, kissing me, telling me he loves me. We have such a close and passionate relationship. I honestly don’t want to lose him. It hurts me to know he’s unhappy right now and I can’t change that. Is there hope? Can you help me? I’m willing to give him space, or else I could push him away for good. I can’t live with that. He makes me so happy. Do you think he means it when he says he doesn’t love me? Is he thinking he doesn’t because of what he did? Is he just upset with himself because of what happened so he thinks he can’t be with me anymore? I’m hurting. Really badly.

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 2, 2016 at 11:24 am

Hi Sarah,

Maybe he was just guilty with what happened. If you talked and cleared that you’ve forgiven him. I think you’ll get back to normal.

Kel

March 24, 2016 at 4:26 pm

I got very drunk and said some really nasty things to my boyfriend that I really didn’t mean. He said all he ever does is try to show me he cares and that I truly ruined it for him. Other than this we have a great time together. There’s lots of passion in our relationship and I love him very much. Could this one mistake really be the end for us? Do you think if I give him space and time he can get over this? He said he forgives me but doesn’t trust me anymore because of the things I said. I feel he is being very harsh. Is it because he is so angry or is it really over?

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 2, 2016 at 10:09 am

Hi Kel,

maybe he’s just too emotional at that time.. I hope you have talked things through

Hallie

March 24, 2016 at 11:10 am

Hi,
I need advice on what to do. Our story goes as such: He is from the U.S. And I am from Canada. We met while he was in my city for work (he lives and works in a different city in Canada). We dated long distance for 5 months and I moved to him. Left my job, my family and friends. This new city is Montreal, aka French only, and neither of us speak French, however, he does not need it. I had been out of work for a year and it had started to really take a toll on us. We spent so much time together. But two months ago I began full time French classes and have been creating my own world outside of him. Friends, gym etc. I’m feeling good about myself finally! He broke up with me a week ago saying it was for me, because I don’t have a future here (in turn WE don’t have a future here), since it has been such a huge struggle. He can tell my confidence has been beaten down. He plays professional football for the team here and has worries that he will have to pick up and go at any moment; professional sports are fickle like that, you can be traded at any time. And we would have to start again from nothing somewhere else. So he says it’s not working because I have lost myself and he’s not in it anymore. We live together and have a good relationship. We laugh all the time and enjoy many of the same things. We have serious discussions and challenge each other on an intellectual level. He says he still loves me and it’s not me as a person, but the situation we are in. I thought I would spend my life with him, and now he wants me to move every single thing of mine out of our home. I don’t understand why he wants to end it when things are looking so up for me.. I am staying at my brothers house right now but it can’t be a permanent solution. And my whole life is in the home we built together, so I have had to go back a few times over the past week to grab things. He wants everything out, but he’s also been very kind in that he is willing to talk and listen to my feelings. As I mentioned, he is an athlete. And many athletes go through a depression in the off season and i think that is happening. His mom says it happens every year. How do I support him, and give him space, and help him realize we aren’t supposed to end like this? That it is worth working through? How much time do I give him before I give up and go back home? There is not much point in me being in a city without him, when the move was FOR him. I am willing to stick around and better myself so that he sees I don’t NEED him, but WANT him. Because I know every relationship goes through ups and downs, and I’m willing to shoulder this pain if we can end up making it. But how do I know if he’s totally done, or if he’s just going through something. I know I deserve someone who wants to work it out to be with me, but I feel that I need to put up a fight, I’m just not sure for how long, and what I need to do. He is so stubborn that I don’t think he will ever text me first.. Please give me some insight Chris….

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 1, 2016 at 5:37 pm

Hi Hallie,

if it’s because of the off season, I think you need to talk it out first beacause if you get back together, wilk this happen again in the next off season? The challenge is, you have to time it right, ask him at a wrong time and you will end up sounding like be littling him..

billie

March 23, 2016 at 11:52 pm

Well … this is going to be long
First .. we both are of different religions and we both knew very clearly that we dont have a future together but yet …falling in love wasn’t something in our hands.
The story is my friend introduced me to him and he introduced me to his friend.. i got more friends with his friend and after that we fell in love
Everything was tooo good in the begining ..but as the time passed(days only, like things changed too soon) he changed..
Not so directly .. but slowly slowly he started to change..all the good things started to disappear
The reason said on being asked “i am depressed” i can swear i tried my best to help him with whatever he was depressed with .. (never told me an exact reason for his depression)
So basically ..he just changed ..communication got less and arguments increased.
I admit to try making him jealous a few times on purpose with his friend. But never really thought he cared coz he never showed it.
But in our last days together, he admitted saying “didnt u realize i changed only after you got too close to my friend”
Now i have to defend myself here in a summary coz i cant go on writing all the things that i did
But exept this jealousy part ..i am sure i never did anything unfair to him, always loved him, cared for him, stood by his side and etc etc
It was him who didnt say it clearly what was in his mind and this is what went wrong.
He said ur friendship with him got me jealous ..jealosy turned into anger ..anger turned into depression and depression caused me to back off
So he was simply tring to walkaway by making me hate him or leave him or whatever by stating that he didn’t to put me in a situation where i have to choose between them.
I would again say that i tried my best to know the reason, to help him but he was just pushing me away ..whenever i complained, he was just like “you should stand by me instead of giving me hell” so i stopped asking or questioning.
We gave each other a few last chances to solve things out but the problem was we kept arguing the whole day.. every simple lil conversation turns into argument
I have to mention here that his communication skills are zero and all our conversation were through text. We met but not more often and always with a group of friends. I asked him out many times but he just kept giving excuses.
And while telling me the actual reason for his depression finally ,he said i felt mentally better after being away fromtou for a while and i would prefer to be alone rather than in a relationship that depresses me to hell.
When he said ..i thought this was the end ..we did end it there actually but within an hour he came back saying i think we should give each other one more chance and we did .
But again all in vain .. we only argued
I can say that the reasons of our arguments were that i expected alot from him .. i wanted him to be romantic and as good as he was before (but i never kept nagging about it though) and idk whatever that was in his mind but he never seemed to see his mistakes and always blaming me for everything but it was quite clear that it was all because he changed and may be his feelings changed. Thats why all the communication got less and we didnt have anything to talk about. He was being rude ignorant and yes very clearly i wasnt his priority at all ..he didn’t miss me and didnt even put any efforts or tried to keep it working .
So the last time was me telling him that i have had enough and its not working and i want to end it .. (i said after again finishing an argument ) and he was directly like “are you sure about this” and then joked that hey i want my gifts back that u gave me and he was just soo cool about it. He slept in the middle of the discussion and that just showed me he doesnt care at all.
But somewhere i do have a feeling that he does love me and miss me but just an asshole to not being able to show it
(*he had the same experience with his ex*)
After that .. i started acting cold towards him .. he tried msgng (he still wants to be friends saying i love you but lets just stay friends coz i miss you so much) but i would reply late and reply only in one lines and i dont talk unless he starts a topic (earlier i used to try toooooo to talk to him and always showed him that i care and i miss him)
I have deleted his number so he cant see my last seen nor my status nor my dp but i guess he havent realized that yet. He thinks i just hid it from everyone else as well.
Before 2 days he msgd saying:
“Him: wtf is wrong with you? Are you okay?
Me:….?!
You think am not?
Him: chill..am just asking .
Me: oh i see. No i am fine thanx.
Him: been tryinng to reach u for 2 days now.
I miss you.
Me : lol..how are you?
Him: I MISS YOU SO MUCH LOVE”
and now he has his dp removed and kepy updating status like
“Aint no sunshine when she is gone.
There is never a happy ending. <3
And some sad faces."
My friends think this is when he will start missing me and realize my value coz i earlier gave him a lot of importance and he took me for granted. So they think he will realize and get back to me in some days.
I think that this is just the begining to the end.. yes he does miss me now but me not talking to him will help him move on or atleast him missing me doesnt mean that he still loves me or wants me back yea? May be he just misses me as that person who cared for him and he lost her now.
What do u think i should do ? Jealosy thing? Show him that am happy or keep my status pic hidden from him not giving him any hints or showing him that i am depressed?
How do i make him realize his mistake?
what do u think i should do? What do u
Think after knowing my story.. will get back to me or am i just helping him to move on?
One more reason i think he will move on coz he experienced the same things with his ex ..they kept arguing and broke up . He did miss her too. (Dont know if he wanted to get back to her) and that even if he does love me and miss me ..may be he would think that we will just keep fighting as we tried many times and thats why might think that its better to not get back together regardless of our feelings?
Please help..
Cherry Ann

March 23, 2016 at 2:54 pm

When I tried to call my boyfriend 2x hes not answering and then when I sent him a message saying why you are not answering he answer me ‘Sorry Baby I am busy with my friends’ and I was really pissed off on that. so I been cold to him, the other day, he message me like, I am sorry,then he asked me whats wrong. And he asked me where I am and told me that I forgot him coz I am not sending him a message. Then I just answer I am busy he asked me where I said out he asked again where I told him I am busy and I cant answer you now. He just reply ok then after that I never read or open his message, starting that day we never talked almost 1 week tomorrow. I miss him but I need to ignore him that way. Should I let it go?

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 1, 2016 at 12:49 pm

HI Cherry,

But you have not broken up yet right? How are things now?

Aria

March 23, 2016 at 12:57 am

I thought I could get him back but I think posting my pictures on facebook was a stupid Idea. It back fired on me.

After he dumped me I wanted to move on but he always tried to stop me- unfriend him on facebook, don’t text him back ect. Every time I try one of these things, he send me friend request immoderately, send me bunch of text messages.. says why are you not responding me.

Yes. Actually He wanted me back but I wan not 100% sure about it because he gave up on me too easily and that hurts me really bad. I was stupid and didn’t realize how much I love him. After a little while, he got a new girl and rubbing his new girl in my face.. by posting profile pic of him and her pic on his face book. I thought I don’t have chance to get back with him anymore and I unfriended him again but he said he said he wanted me to be part of his life and be his friend. I know it hurts, to see him with other girl but a week later I told him, I want him in my life too cuz he means a lot to me. and we back on friend on face book again and texted each other.

I got advice from this article, so I tried to posted my pic on facebook. I’m not a big fan of social media (but he is), I don’t usually post my pic but I changed my profile pic to my selfie (it used to my cat) posted pic of me and my best friend. He notice that I changed my profile pic and texted me says, you posted your picture, what happened? I didn’t reply, he text me again regrading other subjects. then I posted my pic with my bff, he liked my posts and few hours later he unfriended me???
What did I do wrong, should I ask him why did he do that or just leave him alone?

Aria

April 13, 2016 at 7:25 pm

Thank you for your advice.
I couldn’t reply to his text..
I may have already friendzoned but I didn’t realize it and I’ve been depressed
So wasn’t sure that I can build attraction
It’s been almost 2weeks since he sent me last text. This is first time we haven’t talked to each other this long. Maybe I should’ve listen to your adivice and text him back. I’m scared that I’ll be forgotten
Yet have no courage to contact him
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 14, 2016 at 7:28 am

That’s ok Aria. take your time.. it’s better to start when you’re confident
Aria

April 4, 2016 at 6:05 am

Hi AMOR,
Thank you for your reply.
Yes. I asked him what happened 2 days later(25th March) I posted on here. He said “The girlfriend freaked because I liked your pictures”. I told him why I posted picture(because I don’t normally do this), and he asked me who is the girl in your picture, and told him she’s my friend and that was it,he didn’t say anything afterwards. I thought it’s getting towards to the end of our friendship. But after a week later, on first of April, he texted me say” hello”. At first, I was happy to get message from him but then I find myself analyzing what does it mean. It’s just a simple greeting, doesn’t necessarily mane something big. So I haven’t texted him back yet.
I never actually done any no contact period so far. every time he texts me or calls me I answered him.
I’m not sure what to do anymore. I’m kind of trying to do no contact, but then again I agree him on remaining as a friend, If I don’t get back to him, he might give up on me
Do you think I should text him back or I shouldn’t?
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 4, 2016 at 2:36 pm

hmmm do you think you can build attraction now instead of being friendzoned if you keep texting? Becauaw if you’re sure, keep texting
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 31, 2016 at 1:40 pm

Hi Aria,

How are things now? Have you talked?

Marie

March 22, 2016 at 9:07 pm

I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. We met in college and it’s been amazing ever since. We love each other a lot, have so much fun together, everything is seriously so great. It’s one of those things where we are just so happy together.
Last year Ben went to the Navy so we decided to do long distance. During boot camp when we wrote letters to each other, he told me that I’m the love of his life, how he sees a future with me, and that even though the distance was going to be difficult, he knew he wanted me there by his side.
Since he’s been in the Navy we see each other once, sometimes twice a month. It is difficult being apart but we have no issues, don’t fight, and when we do see each other it’s awesome. Being in the Navy, so many people get married so quickly and that is not how we are. We like taking things at a normal and more realistic pace that works for us.
However, since we’ve been together for so long, I started to feel the pressure that more serious things had to happen soon. So many people were getting engaged on social media, not to mention my family has been assuming that I’m going to get engaged soon. I totally let that feeling get to me – thinking that something was supposed to happen. So I asked Ben about it. He told me that he loves me, he still sees a future with me, but he feels so young to start doing that (we are only 23 years old). He also told me that part of him wishes he was single. He said that he’s curious about the single life because for most of his young adult life he’s been with someone. He said that the distance is hard and it’s difficult for him to see when him and I could actually take our relationship to the next level.
When he told me he was curious about the single life, that’s what truly made me sad. He said he feels so bad about feeling this way because he does love me. So I made the decision for us to take a break for a month. No texting/calling. No social media between the both of us. Nothing. We are going to use this time to figure out what we want. But also we are each 100% single so there are no rules. We also said that if one of us figures things out before the month is over, we will call the other person so no one is stringed along. Otherwise, when one month is over, he’s going to call me and we are going to talk about it.
The last day we saw each other and said goodbye, it was incredibly difficult. He was crying (which I had never seen him do before). He even told me at one point he didn’t want to do this but we both know it’s the right thing to do.
Since we left each other, I joined a gym and have lost some weight. I’ve been distracted and hanging out with my friends. I quit biting my nails so now they are fresh and beautiful (that one I’m so happy about). And most importantly, I’ve realized that I’m worthy of being loved and that there is nothing wrong with me that drove him to think this.
We haven’t spoken for 22 days. I’ve been incredibly sad. But my mind is super clear on what I want. I want to take our relationship to the next level….someday. But not now. I let everything get to me too much. There’s so much more I want to accomplish before getting more serious. But I also know that I want him in my life. All I’m preparing for is expecting the worst and hoping for the best.

What should I tell him when we do speak? What do you think he will say?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 31, 2016 at 12:34 pm

HI Marie,

sorry for the late reply. Have you spoken?

Anastasia

March 22, 2016 at 4:06 pm

Hi! I’m confused. I broke up with my bf about 4 months ago. Month ago I started my NC, but then it was the International Women’s Day, and I did answer his congratulation. So I decided to restart. It’s been two weeks for nowadays. And I see that he’s trying to make me angry, jealous and forcing me to text him: he’s adding new girls in network, added again a girl he did stop to contact with because of our relationships, he’s posting pics with his best-girls-friends, he’s commenting they pics, actively highlights the fact that he moves on. He didn’t write me since that congrats. So is he missing me? We were dating for 2,5 years and were friends for 1,5 years before the relationships started. Is there any chance that he doesn’t move on? Because it seems like he is just want to check my reaction. Thank you!

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 31, 2016 at 9:53 am

HI Anastacia,

If he wants your reaction that’s good. Just don’t communicate while he’s being angry.

Michelle

March 21, 2016 at 6:59 pm

I was with my ex for 2 years just over and we were starting to get a bit more serious and this is when it went a bit off, he’s a few years younger than me too so that didn’t help. I was offered a house for free so couldn’t turn it down and he panicked that he would have to move in here with me and was worried. He wasn’t ready to move in with me yet and I said I understand and would wait and would move closer if needs be when we got to that point. We split up in January and at first I was messaging him not long after to try and resolve things but he wasn’t having any of it so I gave up for a few weeks and then got back in contact and he said I thought I’d lost you to someone else and was gutted but we got back together for a couple of weeks and he came to my new house and everything seemed great again and then he panicked again and broke it off. He said he loved me more than anything and I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to him and he really wanted it to work but he’s just not ready, he said he isn’t ready to move in and he has tried to take my daughter on as his own but he thinks she doesn’t like him and that he can’t be with someone who sees their ex all the time but he’s my daughter’s dad so I don’t really have a choice. He said I deserve someone who wants the things I want and who will make me happy and he doesn’t think he can make me happy. But I don’t want those things, I just want him and I tried to compromise and said we didn’t have to go serious and that he was being silly about my daughter not liking him because she talks about him all the time and I’ve told him that I don’t feel like that for her dad so he has nothing to worry about and that I only want him no matter who I still have to see. He just kept saying he can’t do it and that he loves me and hates thinking about his life without me. We hadn’t spoken for a couple of weeks and I messaged him 10 days ago and he replied straight away but was very reserved with his response we had a chat but nothing major and haven’t spoken since. I’m not sure what to do next, I want him back but I haven’t messaged again because he was reserved. Since then I’ve posted pictures of me on nights out and having fun and a few selfies where I think I look good and wearing things he said I look amazing in too. He’s blocked me on snapchat but still follows me on instagram and Twitter and he’s still my friend on Facebook but I think he’s blocked himself from seeing my posts on Facebook. Whats my next move? It’s been nearly 2 weeks and he just messaged me saying hey how’s it going how you been? Do I reply or ignore him? Thanks x

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 28, 2016 at 5:14 am

Hi Michelle,
if he messages again, chat with him..rebuild rapport and when the right time comes, explain to him that it’s okay for him not to move in.. and jut take everything slow..as it is and enjoy.. if he still doesn’t want that, agree and keep going in life..

if he really wants to stay, he’ll stay

Katia Ash

March 21, 2016 at 5:35 pm

Me and my fiance broke up a few days ago. Well i’m not even one hundred percent sure we broke up because his last words didnt really say it’s over or anything. To sum up the situation, basically back in October there was an incident on instagram he did that i did not appreciate, basically him flirting with another girl, during a time where we were arguing. (He is active duty army and stationed 5hrs away from me, but we see each other every month). So, i come down to see him and we talk about it and everything was good but i felt like what he said to me didnt really give me any closure on the incident, like he kind of brushed it off a bit just because the heat of moment of us spending time together. So, a few days ago i texted him (Tuesday, March 15th, 2016) and let him know how basically it still bothered me and i wanted to have a talk about it to get some closure over it (ideally so that this underlying issue doesnt resurface into our future marriage) and he responded by basically saying how all this means is that if he was to be stationed somewhere else i wouldnt trust him, and i said that wasnt the case and that i do trust him, it’s just this specific incident was bothering me still. He replied saying how he just sees me reminiscing and daunting on old bs and i said it’s not bs, it was serious enough to hurt my feelings, all i want is closure etc and it doesnt have to be tonight , we can talk anytime this week, and he said “i see this might not work” and it went down hill from there to me saying either i can get closure from it to help me get over it or idk how i can reconcile and he said i guess thats it and i said so your fine with me leaving?… and he said “take care” i said wow..and the last thing he said to me was you’ve pushed my buttons enough and im tired of it. Now, im blocked off his instagram..and on facebook my pictures are still on his page and his cover picture…and we havent talked since last Wednesday when this all happened.. not sure what to do. I don’t even know why he did what he did..or like got so worked up over me wanting closure…any advice?

Katia Ash

March 22, 2016 at 8:42 pm

He’s pretty bad at communication and he is aware of that. He tends to go days without talking when he has a lot on his mind..the longest we’ve gone without talking was about 6 or so days..and he also has a big test coming up tomorrow for his military career so idk if that’s why he is ignoring me..because he’s trying to focus on that and avoid stress
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 31, 2016 at 12:23 pm

Hi Katia Ash,

Have you talked lately after a week?
Katia Ash

March 21, 2016 at 5:38 pm

oh and we have been together for 2.5 years
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 22, 2016 at 6:52 pm

Hi Katie Ash,

Maybe he got pissed or that’s his defense mechanism about it. How many days does he usually take time to cool off?

Michelle

March 21, 2016 at 2:43 pm

I’ve read through your page and information about getting your ex back and I have found it very useful! But I still think there are a few things I would like advice on as my situation is slightly different and wondered if I could ask those questions? Xx
Bella

March 21, 2016 at 12:12 am

Hi Chris! I just have to say your website has helped me view myself and my relationship differently. I did not realize how much power a woman has over a man. All this time I could’ve use these steps to my advantage but didn’t know any better. I am 27 years old and was with my boyfriend for 7 years. My ex and I met in college when I was 19 going to be 20 in a couple of weeks. At that time I was in a relationship that started from high school and lasted till my sophomore year of college (6years). In that relationship I was not happy. I didn’t know how to leave. That was my first relationship and I was definitely naive to the way a man thinks and my self worth. One day I was in the library on campus and this guy sits next to me and asks if I want to buy his old cell phone because he just bought an Iphone (2008). I said well let me get your number and I’ll get in contact with you if I decide I want to buy it. I left it at that. A few weeks later he texted me telling me that he sold the phone but then proceeded to ask me out. I was surprised but at the same time excited. I decided to go for it and felt that was my only way to leave my relationship. Of course I regret ending my relationship that way but being naive I did what was right for me. So I ended up starting a new relationship. He is 4 years older than me. He made me so happy. 2 years later I ended up getting pregnant and I was attached to the pregnancy but my family felt that it was not a good idea to continue with it because I was young and my boyfriend felt the same. Unfortunately I did not proceed with the pregnancy due to the lack of support. 4 years later one day my boyfriend breaks up with me because he got tired of me nagging him and being clingy. I did not know I was being clingy. I just went with how I felt and wanted to spend time with him and nagging because I was clingy. I did all the things I shouldn’t have done beg him call him text him. After 2 and a half months we got back together because I initiated it but we didn’t really fix the problem we kind of did but me being naive I just wanted everything to work out. About 8 months later feb 2015 I got pregnant and this time we were somewhat ready but unfortunately I had a. miscarriage. A year and a half later (present) he broke up with me. In November 2015 him and I took over the last 3 months of my moms lease and I thought this would be a perfect opportunity to live together. He lives with his mom still and his sister who is 2 years older than him. He’s definitely a mommas boy. He agreed to move in but when we were living together I noticed he was expressing a lot of negative emotions. Putting me down. Mind you he has never paid rent so this moving in was a new stress. Especially because he was paying more than me but I would still 500 toward rent and pay the other bills. . So when the lease was up he decided to move back home so he could “save” to buy a house. But we ended our relationship because we were getting annoyed with each other due to multiple things.he was getting mad about how we weren’t having sex as much and I was asking if we were going to get married because we’ve been together for 7 years. 2 weeks after he moved out I met up with him to drop something off as an excuse to see him. At first he was serious then he started to lighten up. Since we hadn’t seen each other he wanted to have sex. I said no because it would make things complicated. But I gave in and felt as if we were going to work it out he said let’s take it slow. But to me the clingy person There is no let’s take it slow. The next day I didn’t call him all day then on Tuesday I called him towards the end of the night and he texted me saying he’s with his friends. Which they always go over to hang out with him in the garage to play video games or watch sports. Annoying. So the next morning I was worried about he didn’t answer his phone so I panicked and started calling wanting an explanation as to why he didn’t answer. He seemed so nonchalant. Later that evening I was so pissed because I called him after and he still didn’t answer. Then I told him I’m coming then he texted I’m not home with a smiley face. I was getting super frustrated then he texted it’s just sex you need love I need sex. That pushed me over the edge I was so hurt that this man I was with for 7 years was treating me like someone he just met. That night I went over still and talked to his sister which i would never do but I did to get advice. He was home hanging out with his friends! I was pissed off. After I spoke with her and I talked I asked if she can call him up and he came up And he was mad which pushed him away even more. I went home that night feeling like I was going to die. I felt so rejected. Then a few days later I texted him and he was telling me he felt degraded to ask for sex and he doesn’t like that I pressure to get married and that I I compare our relationship to others. He’s doesn’t communicate until he’s mad. I didn’t realize this was bothering him. I said I was sorry and he said too late. A week later I facetimed him and he basically we are not going to work it out and to learn to move on and hung up on me. During the conversation he mentioned that I didn’t get what he was trying to tell about him being pressured. So since that day I have been struggling to be at peace but I also started the 30 day no contact the day after we facetimed. My family is frustrated with me because they are telling me to move on and that he doesn’t love me. That’s a hard pill to swallow. I’m just so hurt. My mom told me to stop blaming myself. Just want some advice. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Really appreciate it.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 21, 2016 at 9:05 am

Hi Bella,.

apart from trying to gwt him back..you have to love yourself firs..let’s say you got back together but you’re still clingy, then it won’t work again..so for now, focus on finding happiness apart from him.. if you feel that it’s okay if he won’t come back but you still miss him, then that’s when you can try to text him again

Lana

March 20, 2016 at 11:21 pm

My boyfriend said he needed space for now He is separated and is in the process of a long divorce process. We have been dating for a year and a half but the relationship. When we first met I was everything he wanted to marry me promised me the world you know everything and now he needs to be alone because his divorce is becoming finalized . He told me he had never met a woman like me ever . I was the one who stuck by his side through all of his drama . I noticed he has been distancing himself the last month and finally put him on the spot and said what do u want just tell me the truth I deserve the truth. And he was like for now I need to get my head straight and not date anyone. Well I was beyond hurt and the first day texted obsessively and called all day saying how much I missed him. But today I started the NC rule and now I’m angry at him ! I am determined to stick out these 30 days ! But he doesn’t chase women and he won’t be calling or texting me . Not sure of my success rate . I really love and care for him . I thought he was the one . He is definitely not getting back with his ex wife either .

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 21, 2016 at 8:52 am

Hi Lana,

make your nc productive, so that it’s worth it..

Lou

March 20, 2016 at 5:49 pm

I have been in a relationship for 5 years. 5days ago he walked out and left me. I recently found out he had been texting another woman for quite sometime. I found this hard to come to terms with. He told me he hadn’t met up with her and that it was just messages. He told me she did ask to meet once and he said yes but then made excuses why not. Anyway I got information in dribs and drabs from him so this prolonged the arguments. If then came to head and he left. This made me angry and I went crazy texting calling constantly. He just ignored me which made me text and call more. He told me over and over that it was over and to leave him alone. I then text him asking to start fresh….yes you guessed it that didn’t work. He basically sent me a long text saying we couldn’t live together and I made him unhappy. He said I constantly punished him and I would never forgive him. He then said I may meet someone and he would just be a memory or that we may meet in the future and be together. He finished it with he didn’t want me right now as he wanted a life where he wasn’t afraid to go home. I DID NOT reply to this text. Is it too late for no contact.? Have I messed this up completely. .? Or will NC still have an effect. My biggest problem is impatience. Any advise would be appreciated even if it’s to tell me to buck up and move on its pointless. I like straight talking.

Lou

March 30, 2016 at 9:53 am

I went into no contact and after 5 days he messaged me. Message started with hello. He then went in to tell me when he was picking up the last of his things. He saId it would be either Monday or Tuesday morning. He knows full well I am working. He ended the text with he hoped the funeral I went to had gone ok. I left it an hour and replied that I had not seen his text because was at the gym and that the days were fine I would leave a key. I didn’t acknowledge his comment about the funeral. I felt I should reply as he was arranging to pick something up and I didn’t want to be rude. He did not reply to my message and I have not sent any others. Did I do the right thing of will I be starting all over again now. I suppose my thinking is that I am not creating any obstacles for him. Normally I would be difficult which is what he will be expecting. Instead I found a solution and basically said yeah fine. I am trying to do what he least expects.
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 3, 2016 at 7:29 am

Nope, that’s okay. You don’t have to restart count because of that.
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 21, 2016 at 8:20 am

Hi Lou,

Nc islike moving on too the only difference is you initate contact after a few days. So it’s not too late yet, you can try it to give space for him and to show that you’re not impatient anymore and for the both of you to have a clear head.

Cathy

March 19, 2016 at 5:33 pm

I have been dating this amazing man for over a month and he is the first one for years that made me feel that there was a possible future together. But then he started to distance himself and declined a diner invitation saying that he wasn’t feeling as invested as he should in the relationship and that he preferred to stop it right there and avoid making me waste my time… 🙁

When he told me this I was just so not expecting it.. I said “ok – have a great day” and hung up. I reached to him in the evening saying that we had a great time together and that I was glad that I’ve met him. He just said that it was nice of me to say it. he hasn’t cut me from facebook yet and when I set him a short message to ask if we could talk a little, he answered 2 days later telling me that we could talk but not until next week since he was not feeling too good (because of something else) he started to talk to me about it, I’ve tried to show a little compassion but cut the conversation straight wishing him a good day.

I don’t plan on chasing after him for this call.

Do you think I should just leave it there, answer if he calls…or not, what to say? I have no idea but I definitely know that I want this man in my life.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 20, 2016 at 7:54 am

Hi Cathy,

it’s best that you leave it like that for now.. since it’s only been a month of dating that means there really isn’t much ti remember and you have to rebuild attraction by being active with your own life while staying connected with him.. you can do two weeks of no contact for a kind of restart

Eve

March 19, 2016 at 2:17 pm

Me and my boyfriend of almost 2years had a fight and during it he told me that I give him no freedom and get blow things out of proportion. The reason I got angry is because we had made plans to see eachother and then he went out for the night when he knew I had no idea that he had. He believes I don’t give him freedom or space to live his life when I had believed he was happy and I had always told him he can do what makes him happy as long as I’m aware of what he’s going to be doing such as going out for the night and there will be girls there or if I won’t be seeing him. I loved him so deeply and I believed he loved me the same way. I was so in love with him and he made me so happy even though we had fights now and then. However we had always overcome them.
Anyway we ended up splitting due to the fight howe’ve nobody said the words “we are finished”. We left it in a way that we knew it was over. However since then I have tried really hard to fix things apologised on my behalf and told him I don’t want to go on without him. He has told people he’s happier now and has texted other girls only a day after splitting. He has also kissed other people and spent time with them.
Since the day we split we have texted and ive tried to fix things and even asked him ti meet to try to talk about it in person which we habe not done yet, it has all been over text. He told me he did not want to meet me.
He has told me he doesn’t think we should get back together and has told me he no longer loves me and never did.
I had tried continuously to fix things and tell him how much he meant to me and he has not tried at all. I don’t know if he said he didn’t love me to try and make me jealous or angry. I don’t know what to do but even after all of this I’m still in love with him and miss what we had. It hurts to think after all the time we have been together and made so many memories and he would tell me continuously how much he loved me that he would tell me he doesn’t and never did love me..

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 20, 2016 at 7:13 am

Hi Eve,

how many days has it been since you broke up?

Nicole

March 19, 2016 at 12:27 pm

How does all of this work if he doesn’t contact me either? It’s been about a month and a half and I’ve seen him on a dating app, noticed he less frequently logs on to fb (just deleted him the other day because I got angry at seeing his fairly new picture post break up with a shirt I picked out for him 😐 ) and rarely updates his status… But saw girls reaching out to him in the comments of that pic … So I haven’t seen much improvement on his end however I am calming down the self blaming sadness on my end.

I have yet to reach out to him and I’m really just going through lifeFor now…trying not to stress this any more than I already have..Miss him like crazy but I refuse to contact him for a few reasons however I’m still implementing what I’ve read so far on EBR even though I’m not sure any of this would work…

Would this be considered a lost cause for me?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 20, 2016 at 5:52 am

Hi Nicole,

I have a ton if questions 🙂
hmm.. when was the last time you reached out? how long was the relationship and how was the breakup?

You also said you’ve been doing what you read throught ebr, does that mean you’ve been active for yourself lateky?

Vivian

March 18, 2016 at 7:47 am

Hi! My ex and I have been together for almost a year and we broke up because I started to become obsessive and needy and with added stress from uni he couldn’t handle it anymore so he broke up with me.
I’ve currently just ended no contact and before no contact me and my ex had a talk about our problems and the break up we both apologised for what we could have done better but he still insisted on breaking up because he wasn’t sure if I would be able to change (my neediness) and maybe wasn’t sure if it would be worth putting energy to it when it doesn’t know if it’ll work over the stress he’s having to deal with already. But he said there is a chance that we can start things over again but we should just let things run naturally.
After that I went straight to no contact and have just finished. I initiated texting again and the response is generally positive. But because he is very stubborn, very very stubborn and introvert so it wasn’t a surprise when he didn’t try to contact me during the no contact period although he did pretty much like everything on my social media. Also he will never be the one to start a conversation. He will reply friendlily if I say something and will put effort into the conversation but will not be the one to initiate one. Does this mean he’s just being nice or is this going positively? I can’t tell!

Thank you

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 19, 2016 at 9:00 am

Hi Vivian,

it’s ok that yoy’re initiating, just make the convo interesting and end i high note.. As long as the convo os positive, you can then step up to calls later

Taylor

March 17, 2016 at 5:53 pm

Oops! He said if we stop talking completely then being together in the future won’t happen. But if he wants to be single then shouldn’t I start over with no contact ? After all if we are broken up talking and hanging out while he is exploring his options is only hurting me right? He is so stubborn I worry I will lose him forever. Like I posted earlier after 4 days of NC he text me this morning and told me to never contact him again since I couldn’t respond.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 17, 2016 at 6:09 pm

Oh, he’s putting you in a position that could get you friendzoned. Yes, you should restart no contact.

Taylor

March 17, 2016 at 2:41 pm

I answered his call, I was very polite and didn’t bring up our relationship. He asked why I haven’t responded, I told him I was respecting his wishes to be single and explore his options and his reply was so you’re just going to go from talking and seeing each other every day? I told him that the single life and seeing other people didn’t include me. He said that if we stop talking all together (which was never the plan) then us being together in the future. I told him I was only trying to respect his request. He asked what I was doing this weekend and I told him I had plans with my sister and some of the girls we went to high school with. We ended the call on a good note but now I’m confused what the heck do I do now?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 17, 2016 at 5:01 pm

I think there’s something missing in your comment..

He said that if we stop talking all together (which was never the plan) then us being together in the future.

Do you mean he doesn’t want to be together in the future?

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