Does Your Ex Boyfriend Hate And Despise You? Let's Find Out

126 thoughts on “Why Does My Ex Boyfriend Say He Hates and Despises Me?”

Jane

June 10, 2019 at 12:39 am

What do you think of an ex who a few days before was telling you how you were the love of this life and his soulmate he wasnt giving up on the relationship and bought roses and all that stuff and than suddenly saying he doesnt love you anymore or care or want you in his life and he already found a new girl who he says is the 100 percent exact opposite of you?
siila

April 25, 2019 at 1:49 pm

hey!
me and my ex been together for one and half years. we broke up on february and got back together at the end of the march. when we were apart i dated a guy from my college. but it was a one time thing and we didn’t have sex. (actually there was no physical contact at all.). anyway, after we get back together my ex was looking through my instagram homepage and suddenly came up to this guy who i dated. he asked me who he is and i said ‘some guy from college’. then he asked again ‘have you ever talked to him?’ and i was like really panicked, cause deep down i knew i didn’t do anything wrong because we were seperated when i met this guy and i didn’t even hold hands with him. but i was so afraid to tell because i thought my ex would go crazy because he is a jealous type. so i lied to him and he got into my dms and saw messages with him and read them all over. after that we had a big fight and he broke up with me again. i know it sounds stupid and i may look like a guilty but everytime he did something wrong i forgave him and all of the reason i lied is my fear of losing him. it happened like almost 3 weeks ago and since then i didnt have any contact to him because i feel like he hates me more than anything in this world. 3-4 days ago he texted me and the text was literally terrible. i couldn’t even decide what should i do whether i reply or just ignore. message was full of hatred and humiliation. today i heard after he texted me he went to another city to meet with a friend of his which i didnt like and i dont know if they had a thing or not. but i really want my boyfriend to forgive me. i dont know what to do. please help me.

Chris Seiter

April 25, 2019 at 10:20 pm

Hi Siila….looks like you would benefit from my Program which covers so much more of all this than I can here in these short moments i have.

Eva

April 5, 2018 at 4:58 pm

Hey
The text sounds pretty reasonable, yet what about on off relationships?
this time before he split up, he wanted to marry me. he got angry after me being insensitive and clingy (well he split up few days before so yah surprise).
Yet he completelt overreacted and got so nasty. blocked me,one day later told me to “fuck off”, that he regrets wanting to marry me, that he doesn’t care what i am saying, he wants a better girlfriend and that I am a slow learner etc. I stayed cool yet felt humiliated. So he said the relationship is toxic and he doesn’t want to see me any more. Yet I got unblocked.
So is that agressivness normal? How will a man realise that this behaviour is bullshit?

Chris Seiter

April 6, 2018 at 12:04 am

It’s really normal!

In fact, I’ve seen crazier behavior from exes. How old is he may I ask?
Eva

April 20, 2018 at 9:14 pm

Ah Chris! Sorry late reply I try to catch up. I hope I don’t annoy you.
He is 26 I am 29.
I got blocked again with the same hateful talk and now he is threatening me to open his heart for someone else, because he regrets to have been with me and he was unhappy all the time. It is tiring. I know the role I played during the break up. yes man I made some bad mistakes, also was needy and did not respect his wish for space. I hurt him without intention and he hates me for being the reason he is hurt. I read all the articles/books etc. just not yet went radio silent.
for now I just think I should write sth to recover my dignity. That I understand h being upset yet to talk to me like that is not ok and I now take my step back and take space. what do you think?
I am resilient yet his respect and love is gone.
Not sure if I ever can rekindle that.
Thank you for your patience and attention 🙂
Chris Seiter

April 20, 2018 at 9:24 pm

I am thinking that his respect and love for you is far from being gone. That is not something that just disappears with some words or anger. These breakup situations can bring out the worse in us all, but with time things settle down….emotions temper down…and people get in touch more with what they truly want and need.
Eva

April 20, 2018 at 10:20 pm

So do you suggest radio silence for now?
(But will he ever apologise or unblock?)
I fell like I still look needy in his eyes
thank you for your encouraging. I try my best to stay strong and positive.
Chris Seiter

April 21, 2018 at 1:31 am

No Contact (radio silence) does allow you to rebuild your image in his eyes if that is a problem. As to what he might do, we are dealing with probabilities. Think less about that and more about what you can do to focus on your own recovery needs as that helps you in the long run.

jane

March 11, 2018 at 9:37 pm

Hi there, Well this is a long story…
around this time 2 years ago i went through a breakup which completely hurt me so much, and even haunts me now. When i was 14 (i know right, very young!) i met a boy, who was extremely charming, we were so alike! and we became the best of friends and fell in love with each other. Thinking back now (being 18) i don’t think this was a sexual love, it was more of an innocent, best friend love. I was quite a shy child, i was scared of doing something wrong, being judged. This boy was, cheeky, a bad boy some would say. Yet so different, but so alike. He was so ‘different’, cliche ahah. Well we were together for 2 years, and they were amazing but it was so immature, arguments over every tiny thing. I have now learnt from this though and am grateful for what these situations have taught me. We did everything together, and it got to toxic as i just wanted to be with him all the time and he was distancing, wanting to be with other girls, wanting to explore. Thinking now, i don’t blame him. But the way he handled these feelings, hurt me so badly, even to this day. He cheated on me. He went away for 4 weeks with his friends on a NCS trip (like a activities holiday with other schools) when he got back we were supposed to go to spain for 2 weeks on holiday. But… Whilst he was there he lied to all the girls saying he was single, his friends went along with it and he cheated on me. I got a phone call out of the blue saying that he wanted to break up. At this point i knew we weren’t working, it hadn’t felt right for so long, so i guessed this was probably for the best, even though it hurt like hell. (i didn’t know he had cheated on me yet) so he ended it with “maybe in 2 years we can meet up and i can take you out for dinner and try again” blar blar blar. Anyway i took my friend on holiday (best holiday of my life anyway ahah) But then it got nasty. I found out he cheated and he instantly denied it. More came out, he slept with other girls. He told me that he never loved me and that he hated me, never wanting to ever see me again. When i got back off holiday, my best friend who was a boy, reached out, he supported me, and swooped in. At first, i wasn’t sure if it was too soon, but everything felt so right. He was perfect, he treated me so right, everything my ex was never to me. So, me and that boy got together after a month of talking. My ex found out and me thinking he hated me, getting on any girl he could get, started spreading nasty rumors about me to my friends. He said i cheated on him with the boy i was with now, but i didn’t. I still think he thinks i cheated on him, when i really didn’t, i would have done anything for him.

Anyhow, i am still with that boy, who i now love so so much. Our relationship is so different to my exs, it’s more mature, everything i ever wanted. I am so happy with him. But little things keep reminding me of my ex… i feel so guilty but i know it’s human.
My ex still says nasty stuff about me if i’m brought up as he is friends with my friends. Which i really don’t understand because if he didn’t care then why is he still saying stuff? He now has a new girl friend which i am happy about because i really want him to be happy. But i hate how he is still horrible about me because i haven’t done anything wrong. I’ve forgiven him and taken what i learnt from him into my new relationship. We still haven’t talked since we broke up and it’s been 2 years. Theres so much unsaid and i feel so guilty about now letting it go, especially as i’m with someone new. I don’t love my ex anymore but i don’t like the tension between us everytime we are at the same parties. Lately he has been at every party that i have been at, and every time we are in the same circle, he walks off saying “ffs i can’t do this” or “anyway i’m gonna go over there” and it makes me feel terrible because i don’t want him to feel like he can’t be in the same space as me and to think that we’ve gone from doing everything together and knowing so much about eachother to becoming strangers who can’t even be in the same room it’s awful and makes me so sad. My friends have told me to confront him but i feel that it’s too late. Too much time has passed, i don’t think it even bothers him anymore as he’s moved on but then why do i feel so much tension at parties? I feel him watching me, and i feel so insecure as my best friend tells me that she can see him looking at me. and i even see it! He does things out of spite like hugs other girls in front of me (even though he has a girl friend of his own), this doesn’t make me jealous but it annoys me that hes actually trying to annoy me. I don’t understand and it’s so confusing. I feel if i were to talk to him about this he would be nasty and wouldn’t want to talk about it. Even if we were to talk, i also wouldn’t know what to say as i wouldn’t want to over step as i’ve got a boyfriend so i wouldn’t want my ex thinking the wrong thing as i don’t want him back, just to be civil. But it’s been 2 years, so how can i even approach this! we are off to university soon anyway so should i just let it all go? Everything just feels so unanswered and he was a huge part of my life so it’s so difficult.

Thats the end of my story… Hope you can help maybe and give me some answers?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 14, 2018 at 4:41 pm

Hi Jane
Just approach him casually when you’re in one place.. If he doesn’t want to talk you just have to let him be.. Don’t waste more time on him
He’s probably just keeping on bad mouthing you to stick to his stories.

Lindsay

March 10, 2018 at 6:46 am

Hi Lindsay

Sorry that you think I’m rude or being nasty to you , but in fact it’s not the case. The real reason for me not wanting to be with you is that I started to despise(not hate) the person you became cos I fell inlove with that nice mannered girl who was precious to me.
All this drama exposed the true person you are and what I saw aint actually what I can live with cos you are vindictive towards everybody, even after I told you, you don’t have to get everybody back for what they did to you… there is a thing such as Karma.

Never the less, my feelings for you are real that’s why Natalie went off like she did cos I told her how I felt about you.

This break up is not about her, I cant be with you cos your negative way of thinking puts me off and this is something I don’t want to deal with.
Sorry for not being forth coming about this cos I didn’t think you would have understood this on Tuesday cos your mind wasn’t right.

We can be friends when you are the person I met a few months ago, I liked her better , infact I fell inlove with her.

Regards
Shawn.

This is the email I got from my ex after he broke up with me on Wednesday.
Emma Wade

December 30, 2017 at 7:31 am

HI, THIS MIGHT BE A TOUGH ONE. I WAS IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A GUY FOR A FEW MONTHS, HE IS A REALLY GREAT GUY, THE PERFECT GENTLEMAN, HE NEVER TRIED TO CONTROL ME AND HE WAS NEVER HORRIBLE, HE NEVER RAISED HIS VOICE TO ME. HE TOLD ME HE WANTED ME TO BE MYSELF AND NEVER CHANGE BECAUSE I WAS PERFECT IN EVERY WAY. BUT I DIDN’T HAVE THE SAME ROMANTIC FEELINGS FOR HIM THAT HE HAD FOR ME, EVERYTIME WE KISSED IT FELT LIKE I WAS KISSING MY BEST FRIEND, AND I DECIDED IT WAS BEST TO BREAK UP AS I DID NOT WANT TO LEAD HIM ON. WHEN I TOLD HIM HE LOOKED REALLY SHOCKED, AND AS I WENT TO TALK HE JUST GOT UP AND WALKED AWAY, I GAVE HIM 2 DAYS BEFORE I CALLED HIM TO FEEL BETTER. WHEN I CALLED HE WOULD NOT ANSWER, AND WHEN I TEXTED HIM HE DIDN’T RESPOND, MY TEXT SAID THAT I AM SORRY I BROKE HIS HEART BUT I DIDN’T FEEL THE SAME AS HIM, I ALSO STATED THAT I STILL WANTED TO BE FRIENDS WITH HIM AS I SAW HIM AS A REALLY GREAT FRIEND, AND THAT WHEN HE IS READY TO MOVE ON I WILL HELP HIM FIND SOMEONE AS HE DESERVES TO BE HAPPY. I TRIED CALLING HIM AGAIN JUST TO SEE IF HE WAS OK. 2 WEEKS LATER I WALKED INTO WETHERSPOONS AND I SAW HIM ON HIS OWN HAVING A DRINK. I WALKED OVER AND SAID HI AND ASKED HOW HE WAS, HE JUST FINISHED HIS DRINK AND JUST WALKED OUT. I FOLLOWED HIM AND JUST ASKED HIM WHAT THE PROBLEM IS, HE RESPONDED BY SAYING “THE PROBLEM IS I LOVED YOU AND WOULD HAVE DONE ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD FOR YOU AND YOU CHUCKED ME” I SAID SORRY AND THAT I STILL WANT TO BE HIS FRIEND, HE THEN RESPONDED BY SAYING HE HATES ME FOR SPLITTING UP WITH HIM AND HE WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR IT, THEN THE NECKLACE I WAS WEARING HE TOOK IT BACK FROM ME, AS HE BOUGHT IT AND SAID I DIDN’T DESERVE IT. I GUESS WHAT I’M ASKING IS, IS HE JUSTIFIED IN THE WAY HE REACTED OR IS HE BEING UNREASONABLE? YOURS TRULY EMMA

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 31, 2017 at 10:19 pm

Hi Emma,

you need to give him space.. he has to heal and you have let him move on.

Asia

November 19, 2017 at 5:37 am

Hello my name is Asia. Me and my boyfriend broke up on good terms a month ago. Less than a week he gets a girlfriend and he acts as if he hates me. He doesn’t even want to hear my voice. He brags about how he does this and that with his new girl of a month. He sounds happy with it and really hates me. What does it mean and what do I do? I still have feelings and they’re strong ones and I want him back. Help please.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 20, 2017 at 5:41 pm

Hi Asia,

How long were you together and are you going to do the no contact rule?

Anna

November 1, 2017 at 1:49 pm

Me and my bf broke up before and he came back after about 2 weeks and said he was always going to come back. I said some stuff I didn’t mean and he left, it wasn’t half as bad as our last break up. I texted him and his family a lot trying to make him reconsider. He told me to leave him alone on Monday. I didn’t speak to him on Tuesday. Today I asked if he still has my necklace (one that he bought me) and he said he did and that he was going on his lunch break and not to message him again. I told him I’d give him space but he knows I want him back. He also said that there was no one else. Do you think he will come back?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 1, 2017 at 8:03 pm

Hi,

Check this one:
You Desperately Begged For Him Back And Failed… I’m Here To Fix That

Rain

October 16, 2017 at 6:47 am

Okay so my names rain, i was with my ex for 5 yrs. Our relationship wasnt the best, alot of infedelity. But when his family falsely accused us and we were in jail for a yr fighting oyr case, we talked about starting over, and he told me God was gona bring us closer. I belived it. But the day we signed to get out he left me for a girl he cheated on me with the year before. He didnt show any sign he was going to do that, he wrote me letters every week. Front and back pages. We spoke about god and how he wanted to hold me again. I didnt understand why he left me. He started blaming me, saying from the past. I didnt understand where it was all coming from. I stood by his side through the whole thing. I went to jail cuz of his family. After a couple months roll by, i slept with him a few times, and he wrote me on valentines day. But i never responded. And now he doesnt talk to his mom because he says were best friends, he says he hates me. But i dont lniw why. I didnt do anything to him. I feel like he is mad at himself for doing that to me and now is trying to justify it. It makes me upset because he truly believes i ruined the relationship. I know i was a good women to him. And he didnt care. Now he is happy and is doing the things i wanted to do with him. I asked myself in the beginning why her, what did she do that was so much for him. That i didnt do. She only knrw him for a half a year and he left me for her. I dont care about him anymore. But i dont understand why he tells his mom he hates me and doesnt want to talk to her.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 16, 2017 at 11:49 pm

Hi Rain,

It looks like it’s an abusive relationship..you should move on..

Ana

May 2, 2017 at 9:36 pm

Hi,
Good article! I am living a similar situation.
My boyfriend and I were dating for 11 months, we were close to complete our first year anniversary. During our relationship he was talking about marriage a lot and that he wanted for me to be the motherof his kids, but things were not ok between us lately. From two months now we started fighting a lot, he is that very stubborn guy and I am too, but sometimes he will be very selfish as well. I was there for him at the most difficult time on his life, I would do anything for him. I was there when he wanted to be with his family and friends, but about my friends he told me that he was not capable of be with them because he didn’t like them and most of the time he wouldn’t accept any invitations from my friends. I was very upset and told him that from now on I wouldn’t be with his relatives as well. He started rejecting me and make me feel very pure and one of this days I answered to an ex boyfriend message to go out with him, if I wasn’t upset with my boyfriend I would say no but this time I said yes just to make my boyfriend jealous, but when my ex boyfriend was arriving to pick me out my boyfriend was coming at the same time to talk with me and they ended up meeting. My boyfriend was so upset that he wanted to break up with me right there. I cried a lot and realized that I messed up and was about to loose the love of my life. I asked him to forgive me right there and hugged him crying and told him that I did this only to hurt him regarding his behaviour towards me. He ended up asking me to not repeat that same behaviour ever again and I promised that I would never do it again.
Things got very strange between us, there were days that things seemed to be very good like the old times but then things got back to the strange feelings he started avoiding spend time with me and every time we were together he wouldn’t stop looking to the watch only to next tell me that he needs to go. I was felling horrible and was crying everyday for not being with him because he started studying a lot and was always busy not having time for us as the old good days. But then I pute myself together and started dating my girlfriends and not waiting for him to say something, and sometimes I was out with my co workers a group of people with men and women. He started being very angry with me and told me that he couldn’t trust me anymore and that he didn’t know if wasn’t meeting my ex boyfriend. We started fighting a lot and I also yelling at him telling him horrible things. He told me that he couldn’t be a real man with me and that I’m always attacking him and broke up with me. I was angry for him breaking the relationship for the second time in 11 months that I told him I didn’t want to see him again. He is meeting his psychologist every week and she is the same age of him, understand all his problems and listen to him (something that I stoped doing due to our fights) I noticed that lately he was enjoying a lot spend time with her.First time he broke up with me he came back to me after 10 days saying that he was missing me, But after him breaking up with from me two weeks ago now I didn’t call him doing the NCr and he didn’t call as well. Because I was silent during the past two weeks I posted a photo on facebook with a girlfriend and he wouldn’t comment or anything like he did in our first break up. Way should I do? This is day 17 of NC

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 3, 2017 at 6:45 pm

finish at least 30 days.. if the past weeks were not active in improving yourself, restart the count.. and then slowly build rapport after while improving yourself

Genevieve Chavez

May 2, 2017 at 8:48 pm

There are a few things I’m struggling with, but I guess the biggest one is that I really miss my ex and feel abandoned. We were definitely one of those couples that had our fair share of fights because we were together every single day, we especially fought on the weekends because I like to stay in and he’s the exact opposite. Basically the Saturday before last I went out with my ex to support his band and after I wanted to go home, he of course didn’t. Long story short, we got into a big, bad, drunk fight (he had a whole bottle of champagne) and he ended it with me after saying some pretty nasty things. We went separate ways that night and I admittedly was being a gnat that night and the next morning. Fed up because he had a history of straight up ignoring me after an argument, putting his phone on airplane mode or blocking my number until he wasn’t mad anymore, I emailed him Sunday asking if this was one of those situations or if he really meant what he had said the night before. I was trying to put my foot down, it backfired and he emailed me saying he’s unhappy and fed up, etc. After saying some awful things to me (including saying I “rely” on him too much), he ended it with saying he’ll pick his stuff up “at a later time” and not to bother calling or texting him because it’ll be a waste of time. I emailed back saying I accepted it and still loved him (I know I shouldn’t have), also asked him to at least talk to me in person when we exchange stuff (also realized I shouldn’t have). Never got a reply and figured out I was blocked on his phone (surprise, surprise) when I tried calling one last time. After I figured this out I immediately went into NC. I had my problems, but overall I feel like I was a loving, supportive girlfriend and he could never fully commit himself to me the three and a half years we were together. What do I do next? I don’t know if I should do 30 or 45 Days of NC, help? Opinions on my situation would be really helpful.

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 3, 2017 at 6:40 pm

try at least 30 days of nc..check this link:
The Ungettable Girl

Zammy

February 5, 2017 at 6:20 pm

OK..good day Chris and everyone at EXBR. My story is quite long. actually my relationship with this guy has been a whack. We dated for 2 months .First, I met him on FB, somehow we got to meet each other. We fell in love. He told me how he adored me and all those stuffs.
The problem is..dis guy has a history of heartbreak. The 2 ladies he dated got married and left him hrt broken. So, since then he’s been a Casanova until he met me. I’m sure he loves me but something happened..we had sex (unprotected) it was a mistake, we got carried away but after everything..he kinda started regretting it..he felt so bad he started crying..he told me that the last time he did it was with his ex and how he promised himself never to do it again until marriage. He started suspecting dat I was sent by someone to hurt him. Well, d next day I left his house. For a while, he acted nice..he never called but he always picked my call even though he refused to talk abt dat incident. Well, I admit I made a mistake, I kept calling him and he started busying my call. Then he called me and started shouting at me.. Finally he told me he hates me passionately.. Dat hurts because at a point he insisted that he must break my virginity and I yielded.. After keeping it for a long time. I became a text gnat. I sent voice notes on WhatsApp.. Crying and asking him what I did wrong.
Now, he didn’t block me on WhatsApp and FB like he usually does whenever we have issues. I don’t know if I stand a chance to get him back.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 5, 2017 at 10:42 pm

Hi Zammy,

honestly, he sounds like he’s lying to you and sex was all he wanted.. His reasons were lame.. But I do hope I’m wrong.. do you want to try the no contact rule?

Cams

February 1, 2017 at 6:21 pm

Hi Amor, My ex and I broke up about a month ago. He gets angry and hatred at me that the we broke up. He says “I don’t love you anymore, I don’t want to see you” like that. Why he is acting like that so much? I intiate the break up because I felt there’s no spark at all. The time I begged and pleaded him to come back he started to be stubborn. Then I found out that “I’m pregnant” with him. In fact, I don’t want to tell him this situation I don’t want to be a desperate or needy but my friend told him that I was pregnant. He confronted me like “why you don’t tell me? Your friend tell me.” Then he gets angry that he will never come back. I started no contact rule after that incident. When I reached 25 days of no contact rule he is the first one initiate the call and text he started to chat me he says sorry for what he have done, He just care for the baby not our relationship anymore. But I don’t response. Then he suddenly open up the relationship. I don’t response again. After that he asks me “how are you? How’s the baby? Are you taking your check up regularly?” That was time I replied him. About the baby itself no other than but everytime we talked about the baby he always reminded me, He cares for the baby only. Why he is acting like that? I don’t think anything or expecting from him but he always intiate that. Help me pls to get through with his action and behavior.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 2, 2017 at 4:48 pm

Hi Cams,

I think that’s it. He cares for the baby but he wants you to move on. Check this one too:
Here’s How To Get Your “Baby Daddy” Back

Tiphy

January 31, 2017 at 6:01 pm

Hi. I felt identified with the article. On Friday, I asked my bf if he was ok, but he answered in a very bad way. I didnt know why or what happened. The whole weekend he called and he apologized in messages as well. I helped him a lot in all his dramas even with money.

On Monday we talked normally until i saw him online and i asked who he was talking to (sth we usually do to each other) and he exploded and said “with my friend, is that so bad?” I got upset and said a lot of things that made him even angrier and he blocked me. I had the chance to talk to him in person and i told him that bc of his previous behavior we would break up forever. He got even more upset.

Today Tuesday i texted him a bunch of things on his other phone. He threatened me with blocking me again on that phone. He hasnt done it, but he said he was tired of me 🙁 I ended the conv apologizing and wishing him a good life. He hasnt received the mssg yet. We were in a nice relationship. No fights in a long time… He might be stressed, but treating me like he did is sth i cannot tolerate after all i did for him

I want him to realize that he hurt me and i plan to go on vacation to apply the NC even better… What do u think?

Tiphy

February 24, 2017 at 7:53 pm

Ive stopped tlking to him… i cant deny i miss him a lot….buti understood that when sb leaves u itsbc they dont want u by their side….
thanks a lot… well be hard but ill do it
thnks again
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 25, 2017 at 8:35 pm

Moving on is a process.. You’re welcome.
Tiphy

February 24, 2017 at 3:33 am

Ok… So Ill just move on… actually, thats what ive been thinking…
But, what if he tries to reach me? should i act normal or ignore him…
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 24, 2017 at 2:47 pm

If you really want to move on, stop talking to him. If you can be friends with him and move on at the same time, then talk but if it’s not going to help you, don’t.
Tiphy

February 23, 2017 at 3:35 am

He said he wanted to change our texting habits after work… we agreed on a good night message every night and he says that after work he is too busy or too tired to do it… and that he wants to stop texting once we get out of work… we have done that for 3 years, why does he want to change it?

so i got mad and stopped replying on Saturday… He stopped talking and Tuesday he said we were over when i mentioned the gifts i gave him … we havent talked or seen each other till now
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 23, 2017 at 8:40 pm

hmm.. that’s like just making the break up slower.. for me you should move on..
Tiphy

February 21, 2017 at 6:00 pm

Hi!! I told u id keep you updated 🙂

Ive been doing no contact and improving myself. I even have a new friend(guy)… Last Saturday and before that, my ex had been texting me and i decided to reply, breaking no contact, on Saturday… he was nice and said he wanted me back but he wanted to change some things in our relationship. I didnt like it and stopped replying and he said bye.

Today Tuesday i wanted to remind him of a gift i gave him. I sent him a messge just to talk and he answered angrily and said we were so over and that the past is sthg that shouldnt be mentioned between us. I think he misunderstood the objective of my message and the gifst haha… Anyway, he threatened with blocking me. I apologized and stopped writing.

I was on a 21 day no contact. Should I go on a 30-day or because of all the things he said i should move on and dont even try to get him back?
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 22, 2017 at 8:34 pm

what was the change he said that you don’t want?
Tiphy

February 11, 2017 at 3:23 am

Thanks… Ill continue w no contact…

However, whatever happens i dont care anymore… i dont even know if i want him back … he doesnt care… why should I? With his words he showed me he is not interested anymore …

Thanks for the help given so far… ill improve myself in all senses, and keep you updated… hugs
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 11, 2017 at 5:51 pm

you’re welcome Tiphy! I really do hope the best for you
Tiphy

February 10, 2017 at 11:31 pm

After i wrote the last mssg here i saw him face to face and he said hi i answered back … when leaving he said it wasnt necessary for us to stop talking and that i could send him a mssg whenever i wanted to… i looked at him and he said that we were better off this way separated but that i could talk to him whenever i wanted to… i answered that we were better off without talking, he said it was up to me…

His “we r better off this way” sent me to the friendzone and i think i wont even try to get him back if he doesnt love me anymore… why trying?
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 10, 2017 at 11:45 pm

you’re emotional right now.. hurt.. withhold making decisions because you’re not that rational.. it’s ok that it hurts..acknowledge it.. but better if you dont make any steps or decisions now..
Tiphy

February 10, 2017 at 7:10 pm

Ive just discovered i was added back, but he hasnt texted me or anything and i hvnt either … ive been running into him these dqys and i cant even say hi or greet him as i do w the rest of the ppl. today we saw each other face to face and he turned his face to one side not to say hi… that broke me in pieces…

im doing ok applying no contact i guess plus living my life normally but i cant say what he does its not hurting me…
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 10, 2017 at 11:27 pm

it probably hurts him too.. but this is for the better, and I know it’s hard but don’t forget to leverage nc by improving yourself
Tiphy

February 6, 2017 at 5:24 am

Help, please! Im about to have a heart attack… so i couldnt go on vacation from work… He blocked me on whatsapp and two days later he unblocked me…

I tried to understand why he broke up w me and he said our relationship was toxic!(we hadnt had fights in a long time, i dont get it) i blocked him on whatsapp on Friday bc of this and i still could see his profile pic but tonight i discovered he had deleted my phone number… Im not blocked though I feel awful…

Why do u think he did it? We hvnt talkd since Friday… He broke up w me on Monday… Should i cntinue w NC? Should I unblock him n delete him as well? Thx 4 reading…
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 6, 2017 at 2:35 pm

no dont, just let him be and continue being active because that’s still a good sign that he’s still affected by you
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 1, 2017 at 11:12 am

Hi Tiphy,

yeah, I think both of you need space..

Awkward

January 28, 2017 at 10:26 am

It has been almost two months of no contact after breakup and I bumped into him. It was bound to happen we live in the same complex. My puppy which he gave to me ran towards him and I stood shook looked the other way and once they were done bonding I called my puppy to come back and that was it. I know was I wrong for not confronting or saying hi he broke up with me and it was bad. If I do see him again what should I do

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 28, 2017 at 3:17 pm

Hi Awkward,

smile and hi..just be polite and civil

Amanda

January 26, 2017 at 10:59 pm

Amor, he finally came over today to see our kids. He has to bc im nursing our newborn and he’s not on a feeding schedule. He didn’t speak to me at all. I tried to make small talk and he was unresponsive except maybe 2-3 words. He got some clothes and left after being here for about 45 min. I asked if we could talk and he said he wasn’t there to talk just to see the kids and said maybe some other time. What should I do now? I felt really hurt when he left. Should I forget trying to talk about our relationship and continue with no contact. He said he would come tomorrow to see the kids but idk if I can keep having him come over and it be like this without talking. It hurts a lot and I don’t want to prod him to talk to me and be rejected as I was today. I really do love him and I’ve tried hard.

Amanda

January 27, 2017 at 6:10 pm

Armor, thank you. I will try to do just that if and when he comes back. By doing so do you think he will think I’m not interested in working things out? He hasn’t contacted me since yesterday. I had apologized for brining things up. His mom keeps telling him he needs to come home and figure things out but he’s unresponsive to her when he does. Idk if her pushing will backfire
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 28, 2017 at 12:14 pm

well, you’ve shown care and interest in him when he came and he didnt care right? I know it hurts but if he truly cares or wants to talk to you, he should’ve when you were being kind..
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 27, 2017 at 11:49 am

do a limited contact..only talk about the kids if needed.. when he comes over, dont initiate small talk.. start a routine that helps you bounce back emotionally and physically and that only involves him as a co parent

Amanda

January 25, 2017 at 6:05 am

My ex text me telling me he wants to see our kids. He’s been gone a week and not asked for them but now has. Should I let him
See them? I’m hurt and upset that we just had our son 2 weeks ago and he’s lost a week with him. I feel like he doesn’t deserve to see them after leaving us. Should I? I feel like it will make things worse if I dont

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 25, 2017 at 3:29 pm

Hi Amanda,

yes, you should..

Amanda

January 23, 2017 at 6:58 pm

I have tried to ask my ex to help at our kids appt today and all he offered was to watch our daughter he didn’t realize she had an appt. I explained and he ignored that. He will not respond to me at all when I bring up possibly talking about our situation and has seldom replied when it involves our kids especially with our new born son. He seems very disinterested in us. It hurts to say the least bc he knows how much he’s needed here. This wed will be a week that he hasn’t been here. Idk what else to do. I’ve tried minimal contact but he doesn’t even seem concerned about our kids. It’s not like him and the only thing I haven’t done fully is no contact. Maybe I should just leave him be completely and not contact him at all about anything? I’ve only contacted minimally mostly about our kids. He knows I want to fix things but when he left a week ago he told me he no longer wanted a relationship and I took it as heat of the moment and tried not to read too much into it but I fear this is set in stone. I’ve tried praying and talking to friends and family to get my mind off this all but in the few moments my kids are busy are asleep my mind is flooded with so much uncertainty. I need advice on what my next move should be

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 24, 2017 at 12:50 pm

I agree that you should do a full no contact now.. It’s very apparent that he doesn’t want to talk to you anymore. That’s ok. I know it hurts but for me, eventually he will talk to you because of the kids. He’s probably doing this because he wants you to move on. Start a new routine with the kids that doesn’t involve him. SO, that if he wants to co-parent, it would be easier to adjust. Rather than depend on him. Improve yourself. Heal and take your time to heal.

Amanda

January 23, 2017 at 5:54 pm

Hi Amor, he left our son’s insurance card outside of his parents where he’s been for the last week for me to pick up today. I was going to try to talk to him face to face but ended up just getting my son’s insurance card and leaving. His parents were home at that time and I felt like it would be very awkward. He’s always tried to go to our kids appts when he’s able. I let him know the time of the appt and told him if he wanted to go he could. I got no response to that. It’s not like him to not ask about the kids or go to appts. I’m
Worried he’s seeing someone else. Idk if that’s just my thoughts getting the best of me. I feel like it may be hopeless. All of his clothes and other things are still at my house and he’s yet to ask for them or come get them which I think is odd.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 24, 2017 at 12:50 pm

I agree that you should do a full no contact now.. It’s very apparent that he doesn’t want to talk to you anymore. That’s ok. I know it hurts but for me, eventually he will talk to you because of the kids. He’s probably doing this because he wants you to move on. Start a new routine with the kids that doesn’t involve him. SO, that if he wants to co-parent, it would be easier to adjust. Rather than depend on him. Improve yourself. Heal and take your time to heal.

Amy

January 22, 2017 at 2:48 pm

What if by being happy and active during the no contact not make him want me, but make him hate me more for not feeling sad over the break up? Bcs thats what im feeling right now. I feel like he’s upset im enjoying myself. It was him who wanted to break up. Is it a good thing to make him mad though

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 23, 2017 at 2:35 pm

Hi Amy,

is that good that he wants you to be sad? I think you should check this one:
Your Worst Nightmares During The No Contact Rule

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