What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Moves On To A New Girl (Video)

310 thoughts on “What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Moves On To A New Girl (Video)”

Becks

March 18, 2016 at 8:56 pm

So this may be kind of a different question and not particularly based on this article but I really feel like I made need some advice on this one. I’ve tried to get my ex back for about two months after our break up. But instead of being miserable I followed NC and started to get a hold of myself and improve my life after all. I was very successful. I’m better than ever at my job, I look fit and healthy and I have found some great new friends, started climbing as a hobby and engaged in charity. My Ex and I met after texting a couple of days but not really for romantic reasons but for financial reasons. However it was fine meeting him, except he didn’t look his best, he gained quite some weight and I can’t remember ever seeing him so unhappy. But the awful thing is…I couldn’t even seem to care. I mean there was just…nothing. I didn’t think about him to much since then and I met this wonderful guy. He was my flat mate for a couple of weeks because my other flat mate was on vacation and we got closer. We are still in contact and my heart beats faster any time I see him. I can’t recall the last time some one made me laugh in such a carefree way. My cheeks are rosy and I’m all smiles when I’m with him. But I really don’t want this to be a rebound thing. It feels so good, but the last thing I wanna do is hurt this nice, incredibly sweet guy whom I thank so much for making me so happy. I really feel like I’m over my ex, but our break up is just 4 months away and I can’t understand how I could go from heart broken to self confident and completely satisfied with my life in such a short amount of time. Am I making a mistake by dating this new guy?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 19, 2016 at 4:36 pm

Hi Becks,

Nice question! If you’re still over your ex even without the new guy, then that means he’s not rebound

Star

March 15, 2016 at 5:01 am

Dear Amor,

I feel like I have an extremely delicate situation to where it doesn’t exactly fit in the categories mentioned.. My boyfriend of a year broke up with me a couple of weeks ago after one of the biggest fights of our relationship. It was my fault for my low self esteem and jealousy. I do have reasoning to have gotten jealous but I do realize that I ruined things between us. The two of us felt a connection we had never had with anyone else and we talked about moving in together, getting married, and having kids. I still want that. I still love him. I’m not sure if I am yet willing to just leave a comment because this is a more private and delicate matter with more of the details…

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 15, 2016 at 3:15 pm

Hi Star,

If you want, you can send the story in our email: [email protected] and our team member Ms Cheese will be handling that.

lola

March 15, 2016 at 12:44 am

hello,
i started the nc but i bumped into him 10days after. I just said hi with a bright smile and kept moving….he greeted me as well but then that was it, i didn’t stop to talk or anything. However, he recently ignored me when he walked past my house i saw him through the window but he didn’t say hi as he used to when we were together 🙁
The day we broke up he told me he found someone else. This girl was his friend so I was worried that he cheated on me while we were together. But he told me no and that this girl just happened to have hit him up after he decided to break up with me and that’s why he was seeing her now. He also didn’t want to label that as a relationship or anything when i asked him if they were in a relationship. Could she be a rebound?….something weird happened, he told me to kiss him one last time and also wanted to take me to his place?? but i refused
thanks

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 15, 2016 at 12:10 pm

Hi Lola,

Yeah, it looks like she’s a rebound.

Raymond

March 14, 2016 at 6:55 am

I have two choices of women, the first is to be the perfect wife, beautiful, hardworking, intelligent and polite, I believe my welfare would be guaranteed if i marry her. But my love for her was faded and now only sympathy and responsibility. The second choice woman is my currently new girlfriend, who is not beautiful, not to my taste, lazy, smoke and coarse and sarcastic when talk.. Herself is very messy. The problem is that the second woman is the most i love very deeply compare the first choice and I know her quite badly but i am seriously to marry her. Is this the right choice for me? help me

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 15, 2016 at 11:53 am

Hi Raymond,

Marriage is a lifetime commitment. You will see the person everyday for the rest of your lives, so it’s important that you marry the person you love, not person who would benefit you the most because that’s not love, that’s business.

Kristen

March 13, 2016 at 10:27 pm

what if the new girl is a friend of mine who remained friends with him after the breakup. she is someone I confided in immediately after the breakup and she knows how I feel about him and that I want him back, but continues to be super flirty with him and is all over him. She has told me she’s not seeing him, but her behavior disgusts me and he doesn’t seem to reject her advances. I have followed no contact, and had a few positive text exchanges with him, but I feel like she is my biggest hurdle here and if I confront her about it, she will talk to him and the whole thing will blow up in my face.

Kristen

March 22, 2016 at 8:39 pm

So I had been having good responses from my ex via text, and after running into him in person,texted to say it was nice to see him and I would love to catch up if he felt like grabbing coffee sometime. No response. Not even a no. I was going to wait a while and text something less forward (as per a comment you responded to under another article) but I don’t know if the fact that he has been hanging out with her more in the interim (she posted about it) changes the situation. I feel like I need him to initiate at this point,but as long as she is right there to hang on him, I don’t think he will.
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 31, 2016 at 11:18 am

You’re probably right, He probably avoids to protect his relationship with her..
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 15, 2016 at 7:53 am

Hi Kristen,

just stop talking to her..She’s not a true friend.. Get focused on you and your ex only coz that’s what she been doing.. She’s just doing her thing with him, not thinking about you

Kate

March 11, 2016 at 9:31 pm

My ex and I were together for almost four years. I have not contacted my ex for 26 days aka since I last texted him on valentines day because I saw a picture of him kissing a girl he said when we were together he was “just friends with”. But after that night I haven’t texted him since. But now I have found out he is with someone else that he works with (both girls have been girls he works with). She has their “anniversary” date in her bio even though it’s been only three weeks and she puts #boyfriend on everything but he doesn’t like anything she posts and he untags himself from everything. What does this mean? Is he missing me? Do I have a chance? I am going for the 45 day NC because we initially decided on not talking for five months but I kept texting him and begging and his birthday happened and valentines day so now I am on NC day 26 for real but it’s three months till our original choice date. But should I do the 45 day or 30?

Kate

March 12, 2016 at 6:36 pm

But what if I am not emotionally ready to contact him. I have been doing ACTIVE no contact! Eating right, working out, doing yoga, trying to love myself but I have never loved myself and I still have all these feelings of despair everytime I see a new girl he is with and it makes my chest hurt like I am having a heart attack and nauseous and so if I contact him on day 46 and he doesn’t reply I will be devastated and will spiral back to the pain I felt on day 1 on NC. So what should I do? Still contact him on day 46 because it should be a very simple casual conversation or should I wait until I love my life and love myself?

-K
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 13, 2016 at 6:26 am

it’s better if you’re emotionally ready to accept whatever the outcome is..
Kate

March 11, 2016 at 9:53 pm

Hello Heres my backstory,

Thank you so much for all of your work! These articles are the only thing that gives me hope that my ex might really be coming back to me. But I have reached a part in this plan to win him back that I am not sure what to do. So here it goes.

My EX-boyfriend and I had been together for almost four and a half years. We had a wonderful relationship. It was a rough one because of school drama, my parents passed, was battling cancer for three of the four years we were together. Even though it was hard we were always happy and perfect and every day by his side made fighting to live worth it. He was the only real friendship I have ever had. His family is the only family I have ever had. And this wasn’t because he kept me from people or took my time from making friends. Most people couldn’t deal with my life. My illness. Always being sick. It scared basically every person I have ever known away but my ex stood by me the entire time. He never pittied me. He never treated me like less than his princess like many other people did.

It was great till around our four-year anniversary in September things started to change. He started to be distant and he said we had run out of things to do. And just being together seemed to not be good enough for him anymore. We had a huge blow out at Halloween because he didn’t communicate with me and so I asked for a break because I felt insulted. Then nothing was the same when we hung out. He finally said he wanted to break up.

His excuse was very Notebook style, Ali & Noah. He said the whole “you deserve better” that he wasn’t good enough because of our financial status. He said he wanted to work on himself, get a better job, be able to treat me the way I deserve and once he has figured himself out he would come back and “win my heart”. We fought over this and I did everything I shouldn’t have. Begged him to stay, begged him to succeed with me instead of away from me, not to push me away, because I didn’t care about money. I would be dirt poor with him if it meant I got to see his smiling face every day. But as you say, it pushed him more away… etc… we argued about this and all he could do was cry and he couldn’t say anything. So I finally said fine if you want to separate for a while and come back then I will leave you alone for five months on my birthday we would talk. He said it would never be goodbye because we were going to be perfect again. He unfriended me on Facebook, blocked me on snapchat and twitter. The only social media he follows me on is Instagram. He deleted all #WCW’s of me from his insta but NOT all evidence of me from it. He does not post on instagram. Probably because it’s the only one he lets me still follow him on. And on his Facebook he has kept all evidence of our relationship and those pictures are public even though we aren’t friends on fb.

But me being me, I broke not contacting him for various reasons (begging him, being mad at him, being hurt) and I had found out that he had been emotionally cheating on me for while with one of his co-workers. He had been doing all the things he used to do with me with her even before I had asked for the break in October and that tore me apart and made it impossible for me to believe he was actually going to come back like he said. I just wanted the truth. And I thought it was hopeless that the love of my life lied when he said he loved me and would come back for me because he had already found someone else. But that’s when I found you and your site.

On Valentine’s Day I hit my rock bottom. I believed he was telling the truth till I saw his “just friends” new co-worker girlfriend had posted a pic of him kissing her on the cheek and the caption “Thanks for never giving up on me #myvalentine” and my heart dropped and shattered into a million pieces. I wasn’t even looking on his profile. The picture popped up into my feed because it was based on other people I followed. But I saw it and I felt like I was having a heart attack. I sent him, “I am happy for you. But lying to me was more hurtful than just telling me the truth that you were with someone else. _______ looks like a really wonderful girl and I hope she makes you happy in the ways that I couldn’t. And yes this really is goodbye ____(ex’s name)”

He replied, “Im still not with her ? She was just my date tonight __my name__”

I never replied. Instead I read every article you have written and didn’t sleep because I felt I had lost the only friend I have ever had. The only person I trusted. The only person I ever wanted to love for the rest of my life. I had no hope. And didn’t sleep but the next day I decided to go by my word of leaving him alone till my birthday like I said. So I started your Active No Contact Rule.

I am on day 26 of the No Contact Rule and I have spent my time going rock climbing, doing yoga, going hiking, hanging out with my sorority sisters, going to parties… I got my first job ever and I love my co-workers and I am trying very hard to be optimistic. I post all the time positive posts like you’ve written about. Of me with my sisters and rock climbing and doing crazy stuff I said I wanted to do with him before he left me. And a few days ago he went and liked all my photos going back seven weeks after he had been avoiding liking my photos. He hasn’t liked my recent posts and but he has seen them. Him and the girl he was emotionally with don’t follow each other on any form of media anymore and she deleted almost all photos of them together off of her insta. (She kept the ones of them with other people in the photos, but all lovey dove #bae pics are gone).

*update: SO now I have found he is with another girl he works with. She is an underwear model. But he works with her at disneyland though like the other girl. She posted a pic wearing his sweatshirt on his bed and it says #boyfriendssweater. And another pic she tagged him in with #mylove. He follows her but he hasn’t liked not one of her instagram photos. He even untagged himself from her insta posts. I am not sure if he is doing that because he doesn’t want me to see or what but now my chest is pounding and it hurts to breathe because if I am doing the active no contact rule on him but he is taking her out to dinner, working with her everyday and bringing her home (he lives with his parents so she has been inside their home and on his bed and most likey met his parents) then how can I ever get him back?

So now that you have the main background on this relationship my question is when do I end the no contact rule. I am on day 25 and before I read your article my ex and I agreed on five months (till June). So do I go with the 30 day no contact? or the 45? Or do I wait for him to contact me like he promised he would in five months?

Also small problem: My ex’s best friend who I dated first before my ex is in my life and he wants to be friends because he had a girl break his heart and he felt he could help me and he told me I could confide in him but when I do he keeps pushing me to move on and forget about my ex and date other guys. And it makes me feel like he is saying that because he follows my ex on snapchat and twitter and is seeing my ex with all these other girls and wants me to do the same but I can’t. But I have read your article about rebound relationships so if he is with someone else I still have a chance at winning him back. But now I feel like talking to his best friend is a bad idea because it brings down my belief that I could win my ex. Should I steer clear of this “friendship” his best friend is trying to rebuild with me? Or should I continue it?

-K
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 12, 2016 at 1:20 pm

Hi Kate,

The realistic answer is to not wait on him until June..

I think you should do active no contact for 45 days and then you can initiate in a friendly way.. so you won’t appear as a threat to them.. rebuild and rapport and attraction and establish to be the ungettable girl..

Carina

March 11, 2016 at 2:03 pm

How do you get your ex back if he is – let me put it in his own words- an asshole. He always says that he himself is an asshole and that he jumps from a to b. However, he often said that I am something special and he does not want me to be only “one of them”
We know each other for 3 years and we were really good friends. At December 2014 he confessed to me that he founds me interesting and that I am the girl he was always searching for. After me rejecting him several times he got a new girlfriend but this didn’t last long. He then came back to me and I said I am unsure of my feelings and weather I want to be more than just a friend. Afterwards he instantly “rejected” me, saying that we do not fit together anyway. Some weeks pasted and we made out but afterwards he rejected me again. He told me he got to know someone new he likes and that I am not the one he was searching for. Two months pasted and he came back to me again. We then got together. But it only lasted 2 months. The reason was: He stopped showing me love and interest. Even when I talked to him, he ignored me. After the breakup we still had contact and unfortunately we almost hugged up. He gave me hope but as soon as I got the information that he has another, let’s call it, “aim” (yes I mean a women), I wrote him an angry message and started no contact. I recently saw him with – again- another woman. But I somehow had the feeling he wants to make me jealous. It was too much of a coincidence.
You see, it is always a back and forth. Me – another woman- me another woman and so on

Is there anything else I can do after the active NC? What do you think is going on in his mind to behave like this?

Carina

March 13, 2016 at 7:26 am

so after the NC I should not reach out to him but wait for him to do that?
I do not believe that will work

He hasn’t contacted me yet and before I went NC I wrote him I lost my trust in him (a.k.a. a friendship is not possible anymore) and -didn’t insult him- but wrote him hurtful things. I am not sure if he will do the first step now
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 13, 2016 at 8:10 am

oh okay, I understand.. You can initiate..but give it time okay? I mean do it after active nc of course.. and be cautious
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 12, 2016 at 9:57 am

Hi Carina,

if you’re still friends with him, just stop reciprocating his flirts with you..
It’s like you became his between girl and it has to stop.. You can stop talking to him for a while but for him to see that you really want to stop being his in between girl and for him to take you seriously, you have to refuse being romantic with him if he initiates

or stop being friends with him for a while, then don’t talk until he reaches out..and when he reached out, just be friendly.. I’m not saying he will go bacl or be serious with you..but at least that will break the cycle of being his go to girl and establish respect again..

MLG

March 10, 2016 at 3:22 am

Hello, I would love some advice if at all possible?
It’s a complicated story but probably quite typical.
My ex of 2.5 years (A) and I broke it off with me in mid 2014. He joined the army (after years of me saying he should do it because it was something he really wanted and I wanted him to be happy) and he decided that I wasn’t going to like that lifestyle.
We were very in love and everything just worked but commitment was an issue for him at that time and I didn’t know where I stood. It all ended amicably and we didn’t contact each other for a long time except for the odd birthday and Xmas text. (He was at basic training so it kind of made limited contact easier).
Anyway I completed NC, and it worked – he wanted to see me 4 months after he ended things. Unfortunately he couldn’t tell me what I was to him & he expected me to travel 10 hours and stay over night to see him. I felt like I was being used (even though he has never been that kind of guy) so I said no.
After that I decided that I should try to move on and went out with a couple of guys for a few dates, then I met my current ex (M) December 2014. I thought I was totally fine and over my ex (A) but it turned out I wasn’t and for 1.5 years I’ve let those feeling ruminate in my heart with hope and ‘maybe one day’s.
Mid 2015 whilst still in a (deteriorating) relationship with ex (M) I recieved the kindest message from ex (A) telling me that I was the one he wanted and he made a huge mistake and it was everything I wanted to hear. It was the sweetest kindest love message I have ever recieved. He said I was the best thing that ever happened to him, and most influential(other than his mother) and he liked everything about me.
Meanwhile my boyfriend of the time (M) was telling me I wasn’t good enough and not appreciating me.
Still, after my family and friends saying I shouldn’t get back with ex, it won’t be the same & that I won’t enjoy being an army GF, I politely said no and that I didn’t think I’d be a good army girlfriend, would miss him too much etc.
We were still on good terms never any harsh words exchanged, but he was upset by it understandably because I broke his heart.
I realised pretty much straight after that I had made a mistake but being silly me trying to convince myself I was happier without him, I left it and continued trying to fix a breaking relationship with (M).
Things fell apart pretty quickly after that and in Jan 2016 ex (M) and I broke up . He basically was not treating me with respect that I deserve.
I am happy to be single for a while, but I still have feelings for my ex and it’s been almost 2 years. Such strong feelings . He’s been contacting me via snapchat and then just the other day I added him back on Facebook (yes I deleted him because I was hurting & because I saw him hanging out with girls) and he’s in a new relationship with one of our old mutual friends! Of course I had a look to torture myself(typical) at the post of when they got together and it had so many likes and everyone was like ‘finally’ etc etc.
I guess I just want some advice – should I leave it alone now ? I spoke to him the other day and he said something along the lines of “I can totally understand that it hurts and I’m sorry that I hurt you and I know all about those feelings, it has taken me this long!!” So I take from that that he’s moved on.
I feel heart broken it’s like going through the original breakup all over again.
She clearly isn’t a rebound but part of me hopes they don’t work out so we can have another shot! But I feel so selfish saying that.
I guess I just wanted to share my story and see if you think I’m just being ridiculous and should move on already?
Or if I should still hold on hope? Isn’t that detrimental to my emotional health?
I don’t know.
Anyway
Thanks for listening/reading
Hope you have something to say 🙂
Xo

MLG

March 13, 2016 at 1:24 pm

We are very open about everything . I asked him and he said he has moved on and is happy with his new girlfriend and is excited with what the future holds. It’s okay because it has given me closure & you are right I will meet someone who treats me right and I will love just as much of not more eventually 🙂
Thank you for trying to help me and I appreciate you answering
Xxx
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 14, 2016 at 2:43 pm

You’re welcome MLG! We hope the best for you 🙂
MLG

March 11, 2016 at 1:16 pm

Thanks for answering. I don’t think I need a guy by my side
So you think that I should just leave him alone?i don’t know if he’s truely happy. He’s been talking to me on Facebook. But then he called me Mate. So he probably is over me.
I’ve missed my chance. How do I get over the regret of not taking the chance when I got it?
Xx
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 12, 2016 at 9:35 am

If he’s talking to you, there is still a chance but if you go for it now, he probably will sense it and avoid you to protect he’s current relationahip…

If you met someone like him, you’ll meet anoher one that matches your soul..He came to be a part of your life for you to see that there is the possibility of meeting somebody like him..
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 10, 2016 at 11:23 pm

Hi MLG,

if he’s truly happy, you should let them be and then find your own happiness with or without a guy beside you…

Maggie Morales

March 9, 2016 at 10:13 am

My ex boyfriend and I dated for five months, over the last few weeks before the breakup he met a girl at college. (we’re long distance) and he said I didn’t need to worry about her because I got jealous a bit, but she would talk about how I wasn’t being a good girlfriend when he would go to her for advice about me, eventually him and I had a fight weeks later and he broke up with me. I talked to him 3 times after the breakup trying to get back with him, he reconsidered but then said he felt nothing anymore and there was no way of us getting back together because “I’ll never change”. Until after that I have been using the no contact and he’s liked my Facebook profile picture but another friend of his told me that the same girl he talked to he now likes, he even said its good she’s better than me and nowhere near as controlling, annoying, or a crazy “b*tch as me”…. What do I do? I am so depressed Chris and I was able to see him once every month for our old relationship, whereas he sees this girl every Tuesday and Thursday at college, but I don’t know if we can rekindle things.. Can we? Thankyou so much if you reply to this! It means a lot! Lots of love!

Maggie Morales

March 9, 2016 at 10:20 pm

thank you so much amor ! I want to buy all of Chris’s books because I’m unsure which to chose for this situation , but if I can ask , what would you recommend me? And after NC should I contact him first then?
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 10, 2016 at 10:50 pm

The texting bible is good to help you what to text after nc but the exboyfriend recovery pro explains other tips too..not just texting.. so choose if you want one just for texting or one that has more coverage…
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 9, 2016 at 7:54 pm

Hi Maggie,

it’s going to be harder but if he can see through your posts that you’re now happy, more relaxe, the old you that he used to like, there’s a chance he would want to talk again after nc.. Of he’s really into her now.. don’t confront him..come from the side of being friendly only so you won’t appear as a threat to them

Maggie Morales

March 9, 2016 at 10:12 am

My ex boyfriend and I dated for five months, over the last few weeks before the breakup he met a girl at college. (we’re long distance) and he said I didn’t need to worry about her because I got jealous a bit, but she would talk about how I wasn’t being a good girlfriend when he would go to her for advice about me, eventually him and I had a fight weeks later and he broke up with me. It’s been 2 weeks since the breakup. I talked to him 3 times after the breakup trying to get back with him, he reconsidered but then said he felt nothing anymore and there was no way of us getting back together because “I’ll never change”. Until after that I have been using the no contact and he’s liked my Facebook profile picture but another friend of his told me that the same girl he talked to he now likes, he even said its good she’s better than me and nowhere near as controlling, annoying, or a crazy “b*tch as me”…. What do I do? I am so depressed and I was able to see him once every month for our old relationship, whereas he sees this girl every Tuesday and Thursday at college, but I don’t know if we can rekindle things.. Can we? Thankyou so much if you reply to this! It means a lot!
Lana

March 9, 2016 at 5:28 am

Yesterday my ex has broke off with his new gf because he was frank with her that he can not leave me. The problem is my ex has fall in love with me and new girlfriend at the same time. To be honest I have already accepted our separation since three months ago but now my ex wanted to come back to me. I felt sorry for his new girlfriend as though their relationship only three months, they are already planning for wedding at the end of this year and already met both side family to discuss about their marriage. What should I do now? .. I admitted that i still love my ex, but I also feel sorry for his new girlfriend. My ex feel very sad now because had parted with new girlfriend, but in the meantime he is also not willing to lose me. The new girlfriend cannot accept that my ex still care about me since they declared couple until now….
Lovely

March 8, 2016 at 7:12 pm

Hi, I’m not sure if you remember me but I just am not sure what to do.. I’m trying to move on but there’s just some hope holding me back. I’ve been in no contact for maybe 3 weeks now. And stupid me decided to check his social media where she is getting along well with his friends and with him. I dont understand how he is so happy with her when I’m still hurt after three months of us being broken up? Do I really have no chance of piercing myself into his mind to make him rethink his decision? I actually may run into him at the end of this month.

Lovely

March 12, 2016 at 1:57 am

I’m actually really confused because I was supposed to cause jealously between them. But the last time I talked to him apparently she let him talk to me so wouldn’t that mean she was okay with it?
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 12, 2016 at 10:26 am

well, just in case he does, at least it’s there.. if she lets you, that’s good because it means you don’t come across as a threat
Lovely

March 11, 2016 at 3:24 pm

How do I know he will even look at my social media? What if he’s too happy with her he doesn’t think about me?
Lovely

March 10, 2016 at 12:58 am

I was active on social media for a few months but I took a step back and deactivated my social media for about 2 weeks. I’m planning to be active again since I’ve gathered myself a bit more since her confrontation with me. Hope was holding me back from just moving on and forgetting about him. I’m here honestly hoping that their relationship will run into a rough patch and they would break up or he would one day think about things and realize that I was a girl who was willing to stick by his side and build him up for the long term.
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 10, 2016 at 11:12 pm

oh..be active now.. your posts might influence his decisions if he misses you
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 9, 2016 at 5:22 pm

Hi Lovely,

what do you mean by some people are holding you back? And also, have you been improving your self and being active on social media with your latest activities?

Milena

March 8, 2016 at 5:39 pm

Hi…im givin up, really

I broke up with him a year ago in good terms, after that we message each other somethimes..after 3 month i found he was going out with other girl, of course i was destroyed I even called him to say : ” how could you put that picture with her on whatsspp!!! You know how i feel about you!! .he told me he was sorry, he still likes me alot but he was in a “moment of his life he dont want nothing serius” he says im the type of girl to marry..well after that i told him not to writte me anymore.

I started no contact rule but i broke it because after 20 days he called me because of my birthday..he wanted to take me to movies and dinner.so..that day he hugged me strongly and i feel there was something like old days…but just that time.and also i didnt know if he was still dating the other girl.
I decided to make the no contact fule and i did it complety..the result was the same, he was just texting me some times , i invited to go out to eat .movies etc..and one day i decided that it was time to end it.so i choose and important day and i told him that after that day we will be apart, he refuses but he ending acepting it..the day come an he asked me for one day more to take to eat something to crlebrate my graduation for university…that day we eat and ended in his house..he tried to have sex with me but i refused .so he just hugged me and we fell asleep.

A month passed and we wnded talking again but this time in the sexual way…two months later DISASTER we ended having sex at his house..after a year of all of this .no even knowing if he was dating with the other girl…we were in action and his mother came, we separate i was scared..he went of and hus mom told him “are you with someone”and she started to scream angry about..he said it was me and his mom stoped and went to his room not saying anymore.

Finally, maybe the end of this story..he drove me home, not talking just in silence , we didnt writte or talk each other for 3 days and then he called me videochat , he said:”how are you, i was just calling you to say hi” at that moment i cannot gear well because the subway, he ended the call..i writte him why he cut the phonecall…he writte back”internet is over” .

I havent writted or seeing each other for a month and some days..i dont know if is ok to continue or just abandone it..i dont know what is he thinking.i dont know nothing…i just love him so much but maybe is time to leave and not trying anymore.

What do you think ???, still i have any chance to recover after all of this..is been a year exactly and it ended like that, in the worse way.

I really need advise, also thank you , this whole year this page acompanied me and set light when i was really sad, even reading other girls stories make strong thise time,i hope most of then can get they loved ones soon.

Milena

March 9, 2016 at 7:32 pm

Dear Amor

Thanks for your answer , really

Yes, I improved myself every time i did no contact rule because of him and my studies.

After we ended having sex last month ( after a year since we broke up) and it finished in a wrong way , i feel we have a pendient conversation .I wonder if he is thinking the same and is waiting for me to take first step since he was the one who called me 3 days before that happen but he ended the call saying internet was over.

I will let pass another week and i will talk to him, even if the result is horrible.

Thank you again 🙂
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 9, 2016 at 5:00 pm

HI Milena,

So, basically, you always end up talking to each other… And the last time you talked to each other was a month ago? I was thinking, every time you did no contact, how did you do? Did you improve yourself, did you do other things? Because if not, do that. If yes, this time, do it in a way that you would heal more instead of just trying to get him back.. Do it in a way that it’s ok if he’s gone..
So, that in that way, when you try to talk to him or if he tries after this last contact, you’re more emotionally stronger and you would be able to do this slowly

M.

March 8, 2016 at 3:51 pm

Ι m just disappointed.. I don t know if i should try someting or not..and what that would be..he s stubborn,shellfish and shy as well, many times i felt like he wanted to say sth but he couldn t . still i dont if im right..or if that is what happening or he really doesn t care .because i feel like that…and i don t know how to change that and bring him back.
Violet

March 7, 2016 at 2:19 am

Hi Chris and team

I have a few days left of no contact and my stress levels are going up! I’ve been re-reading The Texting Bible over and over. I want to make sure I understand it perfectly so that I make all the right moves. I’m excited to contact him again but so worried that he’s moved onto someone else. Do you have any extra tips for me? I’m so nervous.

ps. Thank you for providing resources like The Texting Bible. I’ve definitely learned a lot!

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 8, 2016 at 12:47 pm

I think I remember you 🙂 don’t worry about others.. just focus on your text because you can’t control others

Lisa

March 6, 2016 at 1:22 pm

Hi guys,

I’ve started talking to my ex again after a full NC. I’m currently hitting the 2 week mark of texting everyday, and I’m not sure if I’ve been friendzoned. At first he was telling me he missed me and that he thinks about me every day when I first got in touch with him and I told him the same. But now we’re on fairly good speaking terms and he sends more messages, but when I try flirting with him, he doesn’t flirt back. He also flat out refuses to speak on the phone with me (We used to argue each time we spoke on the phone before the relationship ended, so I’m thinking he’s worried about this).
Now I’m not sure if this is because he’s an introverted guy, and I remember feeling like he’d friendzoned me when we first started dating. The only time he used to flirt with me was in person, it was extremely rare for him to flirt via text. Also the first time he asked me out on a date was 2 months after talking to each other… In total, it’s been 2 months since we broke up. I don’t really want to run the risk of being friendzoned for 2 months before seeing if he’ll ask me out or not.
Should I go into NC for a week to try and get him to be a bit more forward (which is what i want him to be)? Or do I suggest meeting up?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 7, 2016 at 1:07 pm

So by history and personality, it really takes time with him.. How did you get out of the friendzone in the first time?

Mary

March 6, 2016 at 12:46 am

Hi EBR team!

I was wondering if there’s any way I can ask my ex if he’s currently dating someone else? I’ve finished NC and I’ve now been texting him for 2 weeks. Would it be weird if I flat out ask him if he’s dating or seeing someone else?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 6, 2016 at 8:01 am

Hi Mary,
If you’re not comfotable enough with each other it would be… but why not focus on the two of you first, can you transition to calls now?

C

March 5, 2016 at 5:49 pm

Does this situation change at all if his “new girl” is his ex from before you? We had a much more serious relationship then they did when we were together, but they always stayed in touch while we were dating and since we have broken up.
Its been seven months since we broke up and I had moved on and was dating other guys but a recent tragedy in his family has brought him back in my life and made me realize that I am not as over him as I thought I was. I reached out to show support and he has texted me a few times since but I have heard that he is reconnecting with his other ex and it seems like they are talking more consistently then we are but aren’t officially a couple as far as I know. I am not really interested in being part of a love triangle or breaking them up if they are something real, but I also don’t want to walk away without knowing if there is still something there. What is the best way to approach this kind of situation?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 6, 2016 at 6:41 am

Hi C,

if you really want to know, contnue talking to him and then you will notice it with his texts or if he talks more about her…

Disappointed

March 5, 2016 at 5:23 pm

Hi chris and the EBR team!
My ex left me for his friend. We were together for about 3 months. He told me he wasn’t happy with the way i talk to him sometimes and that he doesn’t like using a preservative (as don’t do unprotected…). I told him i could fix that and we could talk abt the latter later on. He still didn’t want me back yet he wanted to kiss me and take me to his place. He told me he was going to miss my pretty face. At some point were talking about getting back together but then he changed his mind. He then kissed me goodbye but did not go to his place. But i want him back what can i do? I haven’t communicated with him in 5 days now.

Disappointed

March 7, 2016 at 12:41 am

Hello!
Yes we are school mates….unfortunately:(
But he knows i won’t do friends with benefits. So does this mean its over? Do i still have a chance?
Thank you!!
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 8, 2016 at 11:40 am

just contnue nc, don’t initiate and approach him.. don’t look at him.. if he initiates just reply directly politely and then excuse yourself..
Disappointed

March 5, 2016 at 6:09 pm

He told me he still cared before kissing me
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 6, 2016 at 6:34 am

Hi,
are you schoolmates or workmates? So, does he want to be friends with benefits?
Disappointed

March 5, 2016 at 6:06 pm

I also asked him if he cared and he said he did…..but i asked him that before we kissed. Not sure if he meant what he said

Chloe

March 5, 2016 at 12:32 am

Hey guys! 😀

I’m just wondering if there’s any signs that you’ve been friendzoned during the texting part of your actual contact with your ex?

I’ve recently noticed a change in the amount of texts sent by him. He sends the majority, and mine are fairly short replies. Something that has never happend before in 4 yrs! So your advice is working! 😀 However, I’m trying to move to phone calls and he seems to be doing everything he can to avoid talking to me on the phone e.g. saying he’s out a couple of hours after I suggest talking on the phone with him, and there’s no suggestion of him calling me back (I’ve tried the story text, and letting him talk about himself etc. but nothing seems to work). He’s the introverted one while I’m the extroverted one, but I can’t seem to get any flirty behaviour from him either, even when texting and I’m lightly flirting with him. So I’m slightly concerned that I’ve been friendzoned.

So is there any way to get him to actually talk on the phone with me when he’s using every excuse not to? Also how do I get him to be more flirty with me?

Thanks in advance! 🙂

Chloe

March 6, 2016 at 12:43 am

Yes. He just stops replying when I suggest calling him, or asking for his help over the phone for example. But I know that he’s online, just choosing not to reply to my messages.
Chloe

March 5, 2016 at 10:50 am

Yes, he just doesn’t respond. Or makes an excuse not to answer my calls. I have tried calling and he simply replies with a text message.
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 6, 2016 at 5:25 am

it looks like you are friendzoned… flirtyness actually is just adding humor to the convo, sometimes being caring with humor too..
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 5, 2016 at 10:11 am

Hi Chloe,

have you tried transitioning a current topic you’re talking about?

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