What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Moves On To A New Girl (Video)

310 thoughts on “What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Moves On To A New Girl (Video)”

Avery

July 7, 2016 at 3:25 am

I need some insight on whether you think my ex is in a rebound relationship or if he isn’t. My ex broke up with me in March. I did 25 NC. Things went to well. Thing is the first time we were actually going to meet up he canceled because he “made new plans with a friend he hasn’t seen in a over year” (note: we were together a year). I knew it had to be a girl or else he would’ve told me who. I found out from his best friend’s girlfriend who it was. His best friend’s ex actuslly. We met up a week later & hooked up. We texted every 2nd day at least & mutually initiated meet ups 2-3 times a week & well hooked up each time. I discovered 2 weeks into us hooking up he began also hooking up with the best friend’s ex. I spied on his phone & say he asked her to see her a specific day & she asked him if it was a date. His reply was we are hanging out because that’s what I’m telling anyone who sees us. This was basically 5-6 weeks after we broke up. They’re texts to each other that I saw were super flirty & sexual. We NEVER texted like that. Anyways I kept also seeing him so he had both of us. One night I’m over, next her. One night he was really sweet to Me & treated me more than FWB so I was lead on because the next time I saw him he said we were only friends. He. didn’t think he knew I knew about her: I got fed up & was going to say something but he started acting distant with me & began being upright rude.,telling me he didn’t feel like hanging out anymore or talking to me because he thinks I’m acting like we are more than friends. This was end of May and he started to ignore me. Beginning of June I ended up telling him I was tired being the only one putting an effort to bein his life when I’m getting no effort back in return & told him I think I know why he suddenly is trying to cut me out & it’s because of the girl. We ended up speaking end of June & I told him how shitty it is for me that like a month after you break up with me because “you need to be alone to work on yourself” you get yourself a new girlfriend. He told me she isn’t his gf they just hang out. Basically telling me they aren’t serious even though she is over 3-4 nights a week. I told him I did not like being played & lead on by you & have you sleep with me while sleeping with her. I’m not ok with that & don’t want to be brought into that. He told me he knew about her before my text about it. Anyways we haven’t spoken since. He also hides her from their friends (she is in the same circle of friends. I am not. But he invites her to parties & leaves with her but they act like just friends infront of everyone). They all know though because they live near him & see her car. I’m not sure if it’s because it’s a rebound/not serious relationship or because it’s awkward since it’s his best friend’s ex. What do you think? Is it a rebound relationship/not serious? It’s been 8-9 weeks since they been hooking up. & well it’s been 4-5 weeks since he last saw me…I’m now in NC since we last spoke (2 weeks ago) & I truly want him back.

Avery

July 12, 2016 at 5:32 am

Thanks Amor!

I’ll definitely try to prove myself for this 45 days NC and be active in posting it so he can see what he’s missing out on. An UG GIRL! I really do hope he’ll respond when I reach out and not cut me out like he has. My question is if he is still seeing the girl (who he claims isn’t his gf) should I ignore that fact? Like act like I don’t know if he’s with her still or if he is still hanging with her constantly act like he is single or I don’t know?

That’s what caused the major problems after NC the first time around. He made me feel like an idiot for leading me on/playing me and hiding her from me. It was hurtful & I kept trying to ignore it and act like she didn’t exist but I couldn’t.
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 12, 2016 at 5:17 pm

find out from indirectly or from other sources if he is with her..if he is approach him like you don’t know but approach in a friendly manner only and then when there is enough rapport, and you know for sure they’re together, tell him you send regards to his gf too..if he denies it, tell him you thiught they’re still together because somebody informed you without even asking.. if he doesn’t apologize and strings you along by then, do nc..

if he doesn’t deny it continue to build rapport and attraction without being too forward and doing the push pull to slowly get him to want you back
Avery

July 9, 2016 at 1:17 pm

Sorry Amor only my email showed up in your comment. What were you going to write?
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 9, 2016 at 6:07 pm

sorry about that.. I was supposed to day that you should just contnue being the ungettable girl..start with building up your confidence
Avery

July 8, 2016 at 10:47 pm

Thanks Amor 😀

Do you have any extra tips how to attract him again & have him answer me? After my first NC when I reached out everything went amazing when I initiated contact. But almost 2 months later he turned so cold & distant & down right began ignoring me & cut me off with no explanation. When I finally got him to talk he Even went as far as telling me he is debating even being friends with me, and well last time we spoke I asked why we can’t hang out anymore and be friends & he would not give me a straight answer & got mad & said it’s too weird.
Avery

July 8, 2016 at 4:56 am

When my ex & I first started, we were sort of started as FWB. We used to work together & one night out with co workers he made out with me away from everyone. I didn’t even know he liked me & I was convinced he didn’t & was just drunk. Anyways It took many weeks & a really slow process for us to mutually start pursuing each other. I then started hooking up with him. He was affectionate towards me & pursued me & seemed to treat me like you would someone you were interested in having as your girlfriend. Tried to impress me you know. He introduced me to his friends etc. 2 months went by & he had the dreaded where is this going talk. I told him he knows what I want (him as my boyfriend) but that I can’t force him into it. He basically told me he did not want to put a label on us. I was hurt but didn’t show it. We continued as we were for 2 more weeks (me being like a fake gf to him) until one night he asked me to be his girlfriend. I’m not sure what changed his mind but I was elated. I’m worried the same thing is happening with this girl. He won’t put a label on what they are & then out of the blue be serious about her. Judging by her asking if one of their meet ups was a date it seems she wants something more than FWB & is excited about having him as a boyfriend.

I know right now 45 days NC is the way to go but I’m soooo scared he’ll just ignore me when I reach out. Like he started to last month and I’ll just look pathetic to him trying to be in his life again and sort of pursue him again when he is with another girl. I’ve been soooo active the NC round & post a lot of my activities on snap chat (my only social media I update) that he can basically keep tabs on everything I am doing. I’m also worried that him seeing all my activities almost daily he doesn’t have a chance to miss me or wonder what has happened to me. Should I block him on snap chat so he wonders what I’ve been up to? Also Any advice on how to get him to not ignore me when/if I decide to reach out after?
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 8, 2016 at 3:35 pm

that’s why it’s very important to look like you’ve moved on, so that he would just think that you’re being friendly when you reach out and less likely to avoid you
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 7, 2016 at 4:37 pm

Hi Avery,

it could be another fwb that can be a grass is greener case too.. be active in improving yourself and don’t sleep with him again after this nc, unless you’re really back together.. continue to be active in improving and maintaining your life even after nc too.. and you should do 45 days.

G. M.

June 18, 2016 at 11:50 pm

Hello, I am new to the page.. but it is really helpful..but I disn’t find any hints for my case:
I had a long dustance relationship for 2,5 years.. we spent 3 monts together.. the last one knowing that he will move further away ad I wouldn’t be able to see him for 9 months.. After that he would have had a job “only” 300 km away from me. I knew that I want be able to wait again and for so long for him and I told him that.. that made things worse, I felt lonely and found a rebound relationship as expected. Telling him that, he stoped talking to me as expected, blocked me on facebook, decided to stay in the country where I wasn’t able to see him (visa),. refused to see me later when we were both in the same country.. 1,5 years later I (still ih the rebound relationship due to some personal problems) contacted him apologizing for the past and wanted to start over.. he answered very fast and we even saw eachother for a few days that we spent together.. but we both had already plans -he had a new job in his country, I had to start my first one for the time after my studies.. so we spent some strange days together.. after that for months we only talked when I called/messaged him… but I had again problems with my healt due to an accident some weeks after the “dates”, lost my job and coundn’t do anything on my own without the help of my still-boyfriend.. but I continued to inform him about my life ob a regular basis..
Eventually my condition got better after a few months and I found a new job.. 2weeks later he told me that he had a new girlfriend and my world turned around once again.. 🙁 this was 2 months ago.. we talked in this time as he “didn’t even know that I have such feeling for him” and behaved accordingly..
Before that I was ready to leave everything back for him and try to get visa/work in his country, but I see that he doesn’t know me/understand me.. although he is a nice guy..
So I would like to stay friends with him or even get him back but I don’t think that it is possible.. It my be best just not to loose him again/not to contact him any more.
Any suggestions?

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 19, 2016 at 12:39 am

Hi Gm,

you’re moving too fast because you decided to move even if you’re not back together.. well, you have to deal with your current first.. you have to face living independently and break up with your bf because you don’t love him and then stop talking to your ex for a while and get back on working a new life as being independent and then slowly reconnect with your ex.. you have to set your expectations though because he has a new gf..

I

June 17, 2016 at 6:09 pm

Hello, I read every single posts in this blog (and videos on youtube) as well, but couldn’t seem to find details and more information on “Overlappers”. I know there were information on “what if he has a new girl” or “rebound relationships”. My ex boyfriend who broke up with me two months ago had been seeing other girls literally 1-2 weeks after breaking up, and one of the girls, he was even considering to introduce her to our group of friends few days ago on his birthday (I wasn’t there).

I suspect that he already had options lined up in his mind before we ended our relationship, this could possibly associate to the Grass is Greener Syndrome, too, perhaps. In this case, is it hard to reconcile with my ex boyfriend if he is a overlapper? (It seems like this happened a lot in his past relationships too, it seems like he was never really single for long in the past either, there were always a new person to jump into right away)

I would like to hear more feedbacks on this topic.

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 18, 2016 at 1:31 pm

The greater chance for him to notice you is if he’s sure you’ve moved on and sees you as an ungettable girl amd sees value in you.. try to date others too now..

Beautifully Broken

June 16, 2016 at 3:41 am

Hello, My name is Beautifully Broken. I really need some help with this situation. My now ex-boyfriend and I were started dating when we met at work at the end of 2015. We were both friends with the same girl who kind of introduced us but we more so I took it upon ourselves to get acquainted we waited about 2 weeks and he officially asked me out. Shortly afterward I found out that I was pregnant with our beautiful baby girl. And then he completely ignored me for 2-3 days when I was trying to tell him. Shortly afterward he asked me if I would stop talking to that girl because he told me the truth that they had a fling with each other nothing sexual but she was married. It later then cause this whole huge issue between Manhattan and with her so me and him both agreed that we would stop talking to her. Shortly afterward I found out that he was lying to me and talking to her behind my back and it causes more issues between me and him. Then finally me and him talked and worked things out and he was secretly still talking to her but he hid it very well. Jumping forward to me being about 6 months pregnant I found out that he was talking to his ex-girlfriend confessing his love to her and when I found out he then told me that he wanted to be single and wanted to go sleep around with other girls. So me being pregnant I left and I took my 4 year old son with me back to my moms. He ignored me for basically the rest of my pregnancy only coming by and asking for little things from me and I love him very much so I caved in. Shortly after my daughter was born he continued to do the same thing but told me that he didn’t sleep with anybody he didn’t do anything with anybody but I have my doubts about it because he lied to me so many times before about talking to other girls especially on his Facebook. I later found out that he was talking to more girls and one in particular he asked her to come to our place and sleep with him, after that we got into a huge argument and we broke up he left back to his mom’s house and I stayed here in our apartment. A few weeks after he came home things were OK until I found out he was texting the same girl that we both agreed not to talk to well then a huge situation happened and it’s one that he cannot forgive me for and he will not admit that he was in the wrong, he won’t even tell me that he sorry or feels no remorse so we split up again couple days later he came back saying he wanted his family to work and wanting to be together. And then the same situation started happening again with him talking to other girls on Facebook writing his ex-girlfriend writing all these other girls so when I found out I asked him to leave shortly afterward he came back begging for his family again as I was trying to work on myself and raising two kids on my own. This girl ended up making him lose his job and he blames me for the whole situation and everything else that has happened to him. We both agreed that we would talk about it and move forward but things have not been better since well we recently just split up again after I caught him talking to more girls on Facebook and he stop by my house and I seen a hickey on his neck so I know now that he was sleeping with someone else. This whole situation is tearing my family apart I love him to death and I definitely want him back but I have done the no contact with him and he always finds a way to talk to me for something or some reason I do absolutely everything I cook I clean I work I take care of the kids and he has not putting anything into a relationship so after finding out last night that he was living with another girl I’m completely torn and I’m not sure what to do I’m not talking to him but I know that I need some time to work on myself. Honestly what should I do from here can you please help me in this situation

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 18, 2016 at 11:14 am

Hi Beautifully broken,

to me it looks like things were too fast in your relationship, that it was like he was forced into it.. forced to be responsible for your pregnancy..and then when she was born, of course he loves his daughter and so he’s forced to keep the family together even if he’s relationship with you doesn’t have a strong foundation.. To be frank, it looks he doesn’t really love you but wants to have a whole family..

I’m all for having a whole family of course.. but if your daughter is in the same situation, how would advice her?

Amanda

June 13, 2016 at 4:25 am

Hi need some advice on how to proceed in my situation. I have read every article here and even purchased the book. My boyfriend broke up with me at the end of March after being together over a year. He said he was unhappy with himself and needed to be alone to work on himself and get his life back on track. I went into NC for a month right after and initiated contact near the end of April. It turned out great because eventually he’d initiate texts and was interested in meeting up. When I saw him the first time we slept together. A no-no I know. I saw him maybe twice a week and well hooked up. Two weeks since we started hooking up I find out he is started hooking up with an old friend of his. I continued seeing him for about 2 weeks and well hooking up. Meanwhile he would also be seeing her. I had enough because I felt used because he showed no affection towards me. The day I was going to tell him no more, he surprised me. He was super sweet to me and spent the day with me (when usually he would invite me over after supper). He asked me to spend the night but didn’t have sex with me. Instead he cuddled me and did little affectionate things that only he did to me when we were together. I was happy and thought maybe he wanted me back and the girl meant nothing. However, next time I saw him he was super distant and told me we were only hanging out as friends and that he doesn’t want to lead me on into thinking he wants to get back together with me. I told him don’t worry about me I’m not pressuring him or anything. We even slept together that night too. This was maybe 3 weeks ago.

Since that time his attention for me has dwindled completely. He never texts me and when I reach out he sometimes doesn’t even answer me (I noticed it’s when the girl is over). He also keeps blowing me off (i’m sure it’s because of the girl who is spending 3-4 nights at his place. He isn’t telling anyone that he is with her. They both hide it from their mutual close friends even though they all know since they all live almost on the same street). So exactly a week ago I asked if he had an issue with me since lately he doesn’t want to hang out and he doesn’t respond to texts. I figure we are “friends” as he says so I can have a discussion with him about how he isn’t really being a good friend. He told me he isn’t in the mood to hang out or talk to me right now. I asked if there was a reason. He said no he just doesn’t feel like it. He insisted we’re good and that he just isn’t in the mood. I was hurt and felt he didn’t value me or he’d want to talk and spend time with me. I wanted him to know that it’s not ok and that I’m not going to welcome him with open arms when he is ready. I told him I don’t know what he expects from me. That when he is ready to talk and hangout that I’d forget how he’s acted recently towards me (ignoring my texts, blowing me off) and be happy?. He told me to stop making a big deal of every thing and told me we were good.

Anyways I tried reaching out today. I asked if he wanted to watch hockey tonight. He declined saying he was hungover and wanted to rest. Sure enough the girl is over! after he declined I said no worries how about after work Tuesday? no response.

I don’t know how to proceed. It’s like he wants nothing to do with me even though he insists their is no issue and that him and I are “good”. I’m sure it’s obviously because of the other girl. I’m not sure if they’re serious or if it’s just a rebound but all his attention is clearly on her and she is constantly over. I know I shouldn’t keep nagging him to do something but I’m trying to be present. When I try to be present via text he ignores me. I get it he probably thinks he has me wrapped around his finger and will answer his texts when he finally writes me something or will jump at the opportunity to do something when he wants to finally hang out. He knows he is in control. Or maybe he has no interest in me anymore simply because of the girl. I’m not sure how to proceed….any thoughts?

Amanda

June 19, 2016 at 6:35 pm

I know I’m definitely not going to give him a thought during this 2nd round of NC & will be active in posting on snapchat of me having fun & being more social without him which he’ll see. Is 30 days an appropriate amount? Also, I know I shouldn’t think this far ahead & think about what to do after NC. But I have another question. After NC, Should I find out (obviously not from him lol!) if he is still spending all his time with the other girl? & well act accordingly based on that fact? Like follow Chris’ advice in his E book & website on parts where he moved onto another girl…or act how I acted after the first NC which worked seeing how he was all about me for a time? It’s just hard now, because reuniting after the break up was great because we did not really end on a sour note. But now well we seemed to have ended on a sour note & he acted like a jerk & I was tired of taking it & him getting away with it. I’m worried he’d want nothing to do with me if I try to reconnect & well really want nothing to do with me if he’s still with the girl…
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 22, 2016 at 3:57 am

yes, that alright to know it that way.. you can act more appropriately because if that
Amanda

June 17, 2016 at 9:19 pm

I’m sorry Amor if this is posted twice but I think I typed in the wrong e-mail and I was worried you would not know it was me and that you wouldn’t be able to follow my story. Just delete the other one if it’s repeated 😛

Basically 2 days ago he lost it on me. He told me that he does not know if he even wants to be friends with me or even talk to me because he feels “suffocated” by me and thinks I’m being needy. He said I act like we are more than friends and he does not want that. He said he has close friends he sees weekly and friends he hangs out with and talks to once a month or less, and that I fall into that category. I was hurt because I have been acting the same way as before since we re-initiated contact and everything was fine then and its only recently that it’s not ok. Like I said I’m not sure if he’s suddenly pushing me away now because he wants to be serious with the girl, or if he just does not want to be with me and feels I want more. I had to say something about the girl because it was really weighing on me. I texted him back: look, before you did not have an issue with us hanging out and talking a couple of times a week. You even initiated it yourself. Now it seems to be an issue and you won’t tell me why. I think I know why me being around is a problem now, but I was really hoping to hear it from you but you won’t say anything so I will. I’m not an idiot. I know you are seeing the girl and have been seeing her several times a week. I know you were sleeping with both of us at the same time. I was hoping out of respect for me you would have told me or explain to me why you lead me on in a way after we started talking again and then claim we were only friends and then basically want nothing to do with me. You made it painfully obvious recently that you want nothing to do with me, even friendship, and I am done being the only one putting in all the effort.

He did not respond. I did not expect him to. I just had to say it and it was soooooo freeing like a weight has been lifted off me for over a month. I feel like an new person having that elephant in the room said. The thing is I know it did not help my chances with him at all. But for my own well being I had to say it. Had to let him know that l knew. But after saying this, I don’t know what to do. I’m clearly going to do a NC, and will put a great effort in posting via snap chat. I’m not sure if I should wait a week or 2 and text him some no hard feelings text (but I’m sure he won’t respond. I’m really not sure what text to send to make him respond!). Or if I should go into a 4 week NC period again and try again with texts like nothing happened. Heck maybe after this NC period I would’ve moved on from him. You never know! In the mean time, I just don’t know what to do after saying this bomb that will help my chances! (if it’s even possible) Can I please have your insight!
Amanda

June 17, 2016 at 4:48 pm

It was really freeing calling him out on it. It was something I felt I had to do & should’ve done long ago instead of pretending he wasn’t playing me this whole time. Anywayshe didn’t respond. I don’t expect him to. I’m going into NC again clearly. I just don’t know what to do…..
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 18, 2016 at 4:15 pm

focus in healing first..and then at then don’t think about how to message him or what to message him later on.. because your decision might change in the end of nc .. so you will only think about ways of getting him back when you’re afyer nc.. focus in healing instead
Amanda

June 17, 2016 at 1:08 pm

Well 2 days ago he lost it on my saying he is debating if he even wants to talk to me anymore or be friends. He said he has close friends he sees weekly & ones he talks to & sees once a month or less & that I fall into only that category. I was hurt & the whole other girl thing was weighing on me. It has for over a month. So I layed it out. I said look we used to speak and hang out all the time & it was never a problem. You even initiated it as much as me but now things are different & it’s a problem & you won’t say why. I think I know why & I was hoping you would come out & say it yourself but you haven’t. So I will. I know you are seeing The girl. You have her over multiple times a week. I’m not an idiot. I know you slept with us both at the same time. I thought out of respect for me you would have the decency to tell me & explain why you lead me one after we started talking, then say we’re just friends & now want nothing to do with me. It’s obvious that you want nothing to do with me anymore, even friendship & im tired of being the only one putting in an effort.
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 17, 2016 at 12:02 pm

Hi Amanda,

how are you now? are you still doing the activities you started during nc and did you try to rest from texting for now?

Luisa

June 11, 2016 at 8:24 pm

Hello!
I have a tiny question: the “being there strategy” should come after the no contact, right?

Thank you 🙂

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 12, 2016 at 6:32 am

Hi Luisa,

you should focus on improving yourself once you start no contact because that’s the most important aspect of it and yes the being there strategy should be after no contact

Marta

June 6, 2016 at 8:24 pm

Hi,

Me and my ex was together for 5 years. We broke up before 2 months, it was very calm and we talk a lot, we said how much we love each other, we kissed and hugged a lot. He said that he loves me but can’t be with me now, because he want to be alone, not in relationship.

Before tree weeks he told that he looks in a lot of girls but can’t fine anyone enough atractive. Week after that he told to me and to one of our friends that he doesn’t want any relationaship and he want to be alone. Last week he told me the same and that he started to see some one, also asked me if our chances would be dead if he had a girlfriend. Yesterday told me that they had sex and she is his girlfriend now. We had a good conversation and he shared a lot of thing with me. About the firs time with another girl. In the night when he was with her he dreamed about me that I was everywhere next to him.

After that conversation we had amazing time together. We talked about everything, about us, about life, what we want. He starts look at me in different way. A few times he mentioned how beatiful i’m, how great I’m looking. We spend some time with our friends, was perfect. He looked me everytime so warm and calm, was very close with me.

Today we was on diner with friends because I’m going to Scotland for one week. Was great again. They text a lot, he even made all together group selfie and send it to her. He never mentioned her in front of others. She is 18 years old, my ex is 27 years, I’m 26 years. I really wonder what it is. It happens so fast. I did NC, texting, calling and go out together. Now I’m supportive, I’m “being there”. I engage him to do something about me, he will bring water to my flowers until I’m not home. Is there anything other to do and do you thing this is a rebound relationship?

Marta

June 29, 2016 at 8:27 pm

Hi! Yes I’m back. I’m doing a lot of things. I’m swimming, do a lot of exercise and now I’m in great shape. I put a big smile on my face and everybody’s like OMG you are great, you are so beautiful. I’m going to a lot of places, seeing so many people, have a great stories to tell.

After I was back, he told me that he want to see me as soon as possible. So we saw last sunday at our apartment. We spend 4h together there. We spoke about everything, we laughed. All the time he was telling me: How beautiful I’m, how I’m the best one, how proud is he with me. He was very close to me, always tried to make a body contact with me. I was even forgot that he is with this girl, I was thinking he is not anymore, but he mention that he was to the bookstore with her in saturday. When I start speaking about boys he just change the subject. At the end of the night he wanted to make me a feet massage, telling me that it’s not sexual. Then he call me “My love” twice. At the door we hugged for a long time, then we hugged again on the elevator…and while that he told me that he loves me. He was like: I don’t want to confuse you, but I love you so much. I told him it’s ok and I’m not confuse (but I’m) Then I said: Bye and you know I love you. He said: Me too, bye! And that was all. And now I’m like : What is happening?
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 1, 2016 at 11:02 am

YOu’ve attracted him back.. keep it up.. don’t always be too available… continue to be active in social media and don’t meet him too often.. make him miss you and want you more..
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 15, 2016 at 7:42 am

HI Marta,

Yeah it looks like rebound, how are you now? Are you back from scotland?

Desperate

June 4, 2016 at 2:02 pm

I posted somewhere before but for some reason my new comments to it won’t load up. I get error message so I shall restart here 🙂 my story is I was with my ex for over a year & I basically lived with him. He ended it in March claiming he was unhappy with himself & needed to be alone and not in a relationship to really get his life on track & find a career (he does not work full time in his field since he graduated). All these things I told him he could do with me still by his side but he wanted none of it. Anyways I went into NC & a month later we reconnected. Things went very good & we met up & well hooked up. I felt used. He kept wanting to see me & hooking up & each time I felt he was in it just for the benefits. 2 weeks later (6 weeks after break up) I find out he started sleeping with his best friend’s ex. I’d also see her car over in the morning when I go to work by his house. We’d still see each other & hook up while he would also be seeing her & well sleeping together. I wanted to put an end to what he was doing to me. (Playing me…getting benefits from me while being also with another girl who he clearly seems more interested in) I swore I’d tell him no next time. He ended up inviting me to his first ever softball game & was sooooo sweet to me the whole day & after the game. I was confused. I stayed over & he cuddled & kissed me and did these little things that he used to do when we were together. We didn’t have sex. I was confused & thought wow maybe he wants me back. Maybe the other girl means nothing! Maybe he is going to ask me to be his girlfriend again. however next time I saw him he was cold & distant. Told me he doesn’t want to hurt me into thinking we are getting back together & that we are just friends. I told him I understand & I don’t want to pressure him. Since that day he barely answers my texts. Always has the other girl over and doesn’t seem excited or happy about ever wanting to do something with me. It’s been a month now since he has been with the other girl (best friend’s ex) & he hasn’t told me. We went to a movie a couple days ago and he didn’t ask me to spend the night. And last night he told me he was lazy & didn’t want to do anything with me because he is tired. Low & behold the girl went over! I don’t know what to do! Do I bring it up? Ask if he is seeing someone else & that is why he suddenly wants nothing to do with me? I want to get him back & have no idea what to do!!!!

Desperate

June 15, 2016 at 1:05 pm

No I’m not in nc. But we got into an argument last night. He told me I’m suffocating him & am being super needy because I text him & ask to see him. I did all this before the movie and well since we last started speaking again/hooking up after NC. But now to him it’s a problem. My guess because of the new girl. He told me he only sees me as a friend who he will hang out with once a month. Not a close friend. & that maybe friendship isn’t a good idea & maybe we shouldn’t talk anymore because I act like we are more than friends. I told him he never expressed what type of friends we were & that my texting & wanting to hang wasnt an issue before but it seems to be suddenly & you won’t say why. You’re phasing me out of no where with no explanation. He didn’t reply. I don’t know if I should tell him I know about the girl & im done trying….what would you suggest?
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 17, 2016 at 10:59 pm

hmm you sound like the other commenter.. I forgot her name.. is that you too? start nc, because the more chase after him, the more it’s going to hurt your chances.
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 15, 2016 at 3:18 am

Hi Desperate,

I hope you’re in no contact now.. coz that’s what you need to do

Sarah

June 4, 2016 at 6:03 am

I’VE DONE SOMETHING EXTREMELY, EXTREMELY STUPID! I have access to all my ex’s texts and have made the mistake of reading them, and I am heartbroken. First, the context of our breakup: I have diabetes and A LOT of medical complications for never taking care of myself, the main problem being sporadic episodes of extreme pain that can land me in the hospital. The only other solution for getting past the pain is falling asleep, so I would OD on my prescription of Ambien just to get some rest and relief. We were living together and he’d come home after work to find a bunch of pills missing, and I’d lie about it and then say it’ll never happen again, but it did, over and over again. I thought he’d never leave me because he fawned over me constantly, saying I was the love of his life and he had no doubt in his mind that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. He’d talk about our wedding and the kids we were going to have. I guess if I’m being honest, I took advantage of how much he loved me and probably pushed his trust too far. He broke up with me April 1st, saying he had no trust in me anymore and it was breaking his heart every time I lied. It was affecting his work, and his physical and mental health.
Anyway, he gave me his tablet when we were dating, and it syncs texts from the owner’s phone. I’ve always had a bad habit of reading through boyfriend’s texts because I’ve always had a hard time trusting people. This is how I found out he kissed another woman when I was on vacation last summer, and that he was sending flirty texts to a coworker. I chose to forgive him and allow him to gain my trust back because I didn’t want to give up on him, and I was happier with him in my life. And he said he’d do anything: go see a therapist with me, beg on his knees, love me forever and spend everyday proving it. So I’m so upset and dumbfounded that he won’t allow me to do the same.
I remembered about the tablet- which he thought he’d unsynced from his phone- and saw he’s been texting this other coworker that I knew he’s always had a crush on (from reading texts prior to the beginning of our relationship). I never felt threatened, because she was married. Well, apparently she’s gotten a divorce, and he asked her to dinner literally DAYS after he dumped me. She said she wasn’t ready to date, but they continued talking as friends. However, it seems like in every conversation they have (and for the past couple of weeks they’ve been talking everyday), he tells her how beautiful and funny she is, how he’s interested, and saying he’ll give her time, but isn’t giving up. Sadly, SHE sounds like the ungettable girl men- including him- want. Anyway, I left the tab at my dad’s because it was just making me feel like shit, but he didn’t know I left it there on purpose and returned it to me today. I was reading through their convos and the one tonight finally crossed over to a sexual nature and they began sexting. She told him she’s down to be FWB, and he said he’d take tomorrow off work and she could come over, to the apartment WE shared together.
I’m nervous that this isn’t a rebound because he’s had a crush for awhile (even while we were dating), he was interested before he was even with me but could do nothing about it because she was married at the time, and he isn’t talking to anyone else and really enjoys her company, and has said he likes talking to and getting to know her. Also, he’s already texted his best friend about her, saying he “likes this girl,” AND told his mother he’s “pursuing” a girl that works with him. Is trying to get him back even worth it? Does he still love, or even LIKE me anymore? PLEEEEASE HELP ME!

Sarah

June 18, 2016 at 2:56 am

Well, I’ve gotten rid of the tablet because I don’t have enough self control not to read it and it was hindering my progress because I was just feeling like shit about myself. But the FWB thing never happened. She said she was sorry, but she only sees him as a friend right now. But before I gave the tab to my friend so I’d stay away from it, the last thing I read was on her birthday and he ordered her a bouquet of flowers. Still, she only seems to want a friendship, but she’s obviously flattered by the all the attention. At this point, it seems like he’s wanting what he can’t have and is obviously infatuated with her. I’m just nervous she’ll develop feelings and then I’ll be SOL. Or rather, if she doesn’t, and we begin talking again, am I just gonna be plan B?
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 18, 2016 at 11:50 pm

live like you’re not a plan B, sohe won’t treat you like one.. be active in your life and stop talking to the other girl.. so you can concentrate more on yourself..
Sarah

June 13, 2016 at 8:08 pm

Sorry, *UNGETTABLE girl in this situation
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 17, 2016 at 12:55 pm

well I mean like falling into her..it looks they’re in the beginning stages of honeymoon period.. the only chance you got is to keep improving yourself while you’re not talking to him because it will fade and once it does you have to be attractive enough physically and personality wise
Sarah

June 13, 2016 at 8:06 pm

How do you mean “moving into her”? I haven’t spoken to him or made any contact whatsoever since May 29th, since I found out he’s been pursuing this girl, so a little over two weeks now. I’m shooting for NC until August 1st. Is it hopeless? Like I said, she sounds like the inheritable girl in this situation. She says she just sees him as a friend right now, but she flirts, tells him talking to him makes her happy, and they talk everyday until like 3am. How could I possibly be on his mind when all of his thoughts seem to be occupied by her. Please, I am desperate for your help. I’m just feeling more and more depressed and heartbroken every single day 🙁
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 13, 2016 at 11:59 am

Hi Sarah,

He’s moving into her.. are you in active no contact now?

Jessie

May 30, 2016 at 3:31 am

My boyfriend and I were together for two and a half years. We have kind of a complicated history, but for the most part we had a really great relationship, and we were best friends. We started dating in high school when we were 17 and now I am 19 and he is 20. We have broken up before, but it was only for a couple days, and it was mostly because we were doing long distances since he went away for college. For various reasons, one being him, I wanted to move schools, and so did he. In the end, we ended up moving to the same college and everything was AWESOME. We hung out all the time, we had so much fun, and everything was just great. The one major stressor on our relationship was that I have always known my major and what I want to do with my life, and he never has. He also really struggles with school so it has always stressed him out that I am pretty good at school. Basically we both worried about the future too much, and what we were going to do once I graduated (because I am going to graduate before him). I also got really comfortable in the relationship towards the end and I wasn’t sure if I was really in love with him anymore. So I asked him if we could go on a break just so I could figure out my feelings. Well I realized I really loved him and didn’t want to break up, and he realized he wanted to be “on his own” and “figure himself out”. I put that in quotes because I later found out he was hanging out with this girl from his work during our little “break” (it was a week). And then two weeks after he officially broke it off he got into a relationship with this girl. I was heartbroken. Even before they started dating I just lost it. I didn’t know what to do with myself, I was completely lost. Of course I met up with him a few times (basically made him) and I just cried to him and begged him to give me another chance. I didn’t know he already had his eyes on someone else. I don’t know if that matters, but I know begging for him to take me back just made things so much worse. It hurts knowing his is in a relationship with someone else because it makes it feel like our 2 and a half years was nothing. I just started no contact officially a week ago. I hadn’t been talking to him for a week and then I sent him a text saying I agreed that the breakup was good for both of us, I am sorry for any pain I may have caused you, thank you for all the fun times we had together, and I wish you the best with your new relationship and whatever else you end up doing with your life. I sent that text a week ago. I think the relationship he is in right now is a rebound, as I have known this girl since they started even being friends and that was not that long ago. I am wondering if you think he will ever want me back? Do you think his new relationship will work out? I think we could have a really great relationship if he would wake up and realize what he has lost, and if he really loves me.

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 31, 2016 at 1:14 pm

Hi Jessie,

make him realize it. Start nc and focus on yourself. Don’t chase him and be active in posting. So, that he will see that you’re not chasing him and you’re doing better

help

May 25, 2016 at 11:55 pm

my ex boyfriend and i have been together for 5 years, this past month has been really hard, we have been on and off in the past month 3 times and he says he doesnt love me anymore. i also know he likes another girl, he has said so. we live together. i have slept with him many times while we were on and off. ive made all the wrong moves, still do, ive begged and plead, ive had sex with him trying to show him im open to try new things because he thought i never was, i tried showing him i love him because he said he didnt feel like i loved him or wanted to have sex with him when we were together before all this happened. when he took me back ive tried to show him but i know he probably doesnt see me since he likes this other girl. i wanna make it work, i wanna show him that he doesnt have to look else where, not anymore, never again. i feel like he does miss me and want me at least some of the time but feels too guilty because he doesnt love me or doesnt love me enough to try to see that things could work because he wants her right now. she has said that she only wants to be his friend but i dont think thats completely true for many reasons. point is i want him back. i just dont know how to do the no contact rule when we live together and even share a bed. he says he wants to be my friend and he keeps saying that im the only one he can ever be himself with and that we do have a special bond. i did find out that i can go stay with family for a few weeks and i wanna try the no contact thing if it will work for my story. i want him back.

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 29, 2016 at 11:10 am

Hi Help,

We can’t guarantee that it will really work but it’s a better option than continuing to beg. If you can stay for a month at a family’s place then better, if not sleep in a different room. You don’t have to be rude, but be distant as much as possible. Go out as much as possible and don’t initiate a talk. Only do if you really need to ask or tell something necessary but no feeling or relationship talk. If he initiates just to blame, just be calm and tell him, you’re not ready for a talk. If he wants to get back with you then good. If not just remain civil and heal and improve yourself.

Mixed Emotions

May 17, 2016 at 11:16 am

My ex-boyfriend whom I’ve dated for almost 3 years have been broken up for about 7 weeks now. We broke up because he said he was unhappy with the way things were going since we’ve both gotten to busy with both school and work, barely making time for each other and when we would see each other we would get into silly arguments all the time. I consider him my first love, and he considers me his as well. I decided to implement the 30-day no contact rule with him about two weeks ago, but ended up breaking it today in order to congratulate him from graduating from undergrad. I then did a little stalking out of impulse because to see how he was doing and found out that he has been talking to someone new on snapchat this month, through some stalking I saw that he also searched this girl about 5 times this month, which I thought was a bit strange. I do not necessarily know if he is talking to her as a distraction or not, or how long they’ve been talking.. but it really bothers me since we’ve been together for such a long time and it has barely been two months since our breakup. He texted me back in a kind manner saying thank you, and even told me he was trying to plan a day to see me in about two weeks after his gift that he ordered for me comes in the mail… I am very confused at the moment. He did text me initially first about one time during NC, and snap chatted me occasionally and when I replied to him I told him that I just needed time to think ever since the last time I saw him. We live about 2 hours away from each other, and I was really surprised that he was planning to come and see me with a gift even even though we haven’t talked for a few weeks, and especially because I think there is a chance he may like this new “snapchat girl”. I have no idea what to do, I won’t try to talk to him for the next two weeks until I see him… but at the same time I don’t want him to get too close with the “snapchat girl” either… I have no idea what is going on in his mind. Please help!

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 24, 2016 at 8:46 am

Hi Mixed Emotions,

Just focus on what you can control.. improve yourself so wheb he compares you two, he will see you as the better one and maybe he’ll remember the good memories too

Msliz

May 6, 2016 at 12:29 am

So I have posted before and have gotten great advice . My ex since December have been sporadically talking. If I text him he will answer with in a day . We have both apologized to each other . Apparently he has been seeing someone lately. Today is his birthday and I dropped him off his favorite dessert and a simple card saying happy birthday . We were together for 3 years on and off and I always acknowledge his birthday. Today when I went, I know everyone there so u said hello and left. He wasn’t there . About an hour later he was calling and I thought was to thank me . It was a girl yelling and screaming not to drop anything off do not talk to him he doesn’t want to talk to me .. Just crazy . Said if I went by his work again something will happen . I was shocked . He is 31 and was not that type of guy to like that kind of drama. He had friends as girls and I never blinked a eye. She called backtracking again . He was trying to talk but she was yelling over him. He said ” Liz this girl is tripping out . You have no idea what I’m dealing with . I told him I do and understand and see what his going through . And she got more upset .. Mimicked him because he was taking nice with me . He called back , she was still yelling , he said just please don’t call . I guess that’s what she wanted . I don’t call him . I haven’t . I told him to please have her stop calling me I was at work and happy birthday . We hung up. He couldn’t say a word . He never ever would have out up with that from me . He is a business man with a hectic schedule. I am honestly shocked and clueless. And it’s his birthday !

Msliz

May 21, 2016 at 12:37 pm

Hi so I answered him back that night and he kept the conversation flowing . He isn’t w the girl anymore . We were texting friendly . A couple of days later we texted again. He always answers now and even gives me details of his happenings. Which he hasn’t done in a long time . He also sent me a pic when he was home in bed and sent a picture of his brothers wedding . Yesterday he texted me first with a funny poster pic. So it’s been like that this week. I’m surprised we are even talking .
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 26, 2016 at 5:26 am

That’s good! You should try to transition to calls when you’ve built enough rapport
Msliz

May 14, 2016 at 12:31 am

Hi , so an update. I did answer him tonight ..this is how it went….
Me:Hey yes it kinda confused me because all of people , YOU definitely don’t deal with drama and shocked me that happened or u wud be with someone like that . That girl threatened to kick my ass and told me u wanted nothing to do w me and I was confused that u wud have encouraged that .So it through me off . Anyways I just wanted to wish U a happy bday and give u one of ur favorite desserts . That’s all . Thank u for the apology .
Him :
thank u for desert, sorry for that… Can’t have that in my life .
And I haven’t answered. What is your opinion ? And thank you
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 15, 2016 at 4:58 am

that’s a good sign.. now he sees you’re more positive than her.. lay low for her now and continue on having fun and doing your own stuff
Msliz

May 12, 2016 at 6:15 pm

Hi thanks again. It’s been a week since that day and today I just received a text from him stating :

Hey, just want to let you know that the other day was not planned. I did not know this girl would flip out like that. I apologize and you know I am not about the drama.
I haven’t answered yet and honestly don’t know what to say ……help … Or do nothing yet?
Msliz

May 10, 2016 at 12:44 am

I love to hear anyone’s opinion. Sometimes you feel crazy lol . I thought I would hear from him by now. Anything .. An apology really would be nice . It just has me so confused on why he would be with someone like that if its not in his character . Could I have dated him for 3 years and not seen it? We never ended on a bad note . What do you think I should do from here ? I am keeping busy and posting happy fun stuff . Whether he see it or not. Thanks again.
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 10, 2016 at 5:41 am

Just keep at what you’re doing so when he compares you to her all he sees is the good stuff
Msliz

May 8, 2016 at 6:55 pm

Thank you 🙂 it was just so unlike him to be told what to do and accept that. Now I’m wondering is that what he really likes? I feel like I didn’t know him . Well I haven’t heard anything from him since then . He wud usually thank me or say something . But nada . He texted me back wed morn when I texted him tues night about where I live . He even asked a follow up question . Then I dropped off the bday dessert and well u know. I did think I wud hear from him by now . Thanks again. I really have no one that wud understand my thoughts about this lol
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 9, 2016 at 7:22 am

you’re welcome! just shoot us a comment if you have questions and sometimes other readers comment to help too..
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 8, 2016 at 9:11 am

in a way that’s good because he viewed you as the good one.. they’re probably fighting more so continue to post your activities ir you having fun that he would probably compare to her and make him think and want to be with you

Paige

April 24, 2016 at 8:32 pm

Hi! I see you guys tend to respond very quickly so I want to hear your two cents on what you think about my particular situation.
I am 20 years old and met this guy when we first started college in fall of 2014. We quickly became best friends. And technically, we never dated. From almost the very beginning we teased the idea of having feelings for each other but never really did anything about it.
In February of 2015 I met another guy who I ended up dating and beginning a serious relationship with. I really liked him, but in April 2015 I was on a camping trip with the best friend and the rest of our friend group and we (drunkenly) admitted to having had feelings for each other and ended up having sex that night. We were like, okay that was a mistake, one time thing, will never happen again.
Throughout the rest of spring 2015 that proved to not be the case. Whenever we drank together we’d end up going home together (and yes, I still had the boyfriend) and were using ‘oh, we were drunk’ as sort of an excuse. Until we started to question the fact that maybe this attraction went past drunken lust and maybe there was something there. So one night in May I stayed at his place, and we had sex completely sober and I spent the night there.
Over the summer he worked at a mission camp 2,000 miles away. While i was still with my boyfriend and that was going fine, I missed this guy a lot. Once in a blue moon we’d text or call each other, if he wanted to show me a particular sunset in the rockies or we wanted to show each other a song or something. There was not a lot of communication but we were still on each other’s minds.
In August 2015 we went back to college and the idea of seeing him again gave me so many butterflies I began to realize just how bad i really had it. I saw him walk into the music building and he just looked so great and I felt all the feelings all at once. That night we went on a walk together which ended with kissing goodnight. So clearly this wasn’t over.
We continued to get closer, spending a lot of time together through marching band and after a halloween party (October 2015) he told me he loved me for the first time. I told him i loved him too, and that i was so confused about what I wanted with the boyfriend.
Through november, december, and January he could be very hot and cold. But the ‘hot’ moments were very ‘hot.’ We began to talk about fate, and the prospect of being in love, and being meant for each other, and God bringing us together, etc. But I was scared that he didn’t know what he was talking about, or would change his mind and i was having too much false hope, and that believing he knew what he was saying would hurt me, etc. I also was still dating a great guy and he had been there for me for so much and we had so much fun and joy together I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving him. I felt like trying to push myself away from this guy and trying to make things work with my bf was the right thing to do.
So in February, the best friend basically got to a point like “we need to figure this out. I think we both know what we want and need to make it a reality.” So, at first i had believed the right thing to do was keep this secret from my boyfriend until i figured everything out myself, but the guilt ended up being too much and i changed my attitude to my bf deserves to know the truth and I told him about the friend and I’s feelings for each other and how I was conflicted. He said he needed time to think. I was scared and thought he was gonna leave, so i began spending pretty much every waking moment with the best friend. He would tell me every day how in love with me he was and how we could be so happy together. I continued not to give a straight answer. He even proposed to me, multiple times. I sort of giggled like it was a joke and he said I’m serious. As much as i didn’t believe him I relished in the idea of being with him forever. He didn’t stop proposing or telling me he loved me.
My bf stayed with me. Although i was still in love with the best friend, I told him i had made my decision. He said I led him on and i told him he knew how conflicted i was and since my bf was giving me this chance that I didnt deserve I wanted to do the right thing and try to fix things with him. Things got better with the bf, and i didnt cheat on him anymore, but my feelings for the best friend never faded one bit.
In February/March 2016 I found out that my bf was moving to Boston at the end of the school year because he’s a graduating senior. We didn’t know what we were gonna do about that. At the same time, the best friend had recently met another girl, a sweet and quiet girl who was a virgin that had never had a boyfriend. They met at a party and he was her first kiss. I didn’t know if it was going anywhere, but i figured this is what was meant to be.
A couple weeks later, after all this effort, the boyfriend broke up with me anyway. Partially out of moving away, and partially out of never being able to be okay with what happened between the best friend and I. I realized this was the right thing to do, because dispite everything not a day went by when i wasn’t thinking about the best friend.
the best friend and the girl became official around the same time my boyfriend broke up with me. I still didn’t stop thinking about the best friend rather than mourning the loss of the boyfriend and thats how i knew how i truly felt. So i admitted all these things to the best friend. He came over and we talked for a long time and ended up sleeping together again. I asked him if he felt the same way and he said he was drawn to me, but that this could be closure because his new girlfriend was super special and he was falling for her. I was angry because i was like but you literally just cheated on her how can you say you know what you want? But i knew I was a hypocrite, so i didnt know what to do.
The roles were reversed and honestly i wouldn’t say i begged but i began to get angry at his moving on seemed to make no sense to me. Even after fighting and crying about our feelings or lack thereof or whatever for each other we still had sex again, and hes still with the girlfriend.
After a long argument he said to me the other day that he did still love me but wanted to be with his new girlfriend because what he and i have is toxic and we just keep hurting each other, and it pains him to say but we need time apart. I agree. I guess we both have a lot to think about and i need to actually establish no contact for the first time in over a year. But, I know i am madly in love with him, and i know he showed me a fairy-tale level of love that i barely believed existed. We were madly in love. I still am, and I don’t know if he is, if hes over it or its just too painful. Its very complicated and messy right now, but i was wondering if you think there’s a chance he and I (the best friend, obviously) could ever make this work. (Now April 2016)

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 26, 2016 at 5:42 pm

Hi Paige,

I don’t want to sound like blaming you but I think he’s being like that because you didn’t leave your boyfriend in the first place.. You and your bestfriend had a long time affair while you still stayed with your boyfriend. It says you’re not serious with your bestfriend and it looks like you were just using him, even though we both know that you really love your best friend. And now, he doesn’t want to risk somebody who is good for somebody who just let him wait for a long time and then now wanting to commit when he has finally found someone who he can call his proudly. He may still has feelings for you but put yourself in his position. He doesn’t trust you and he has someone that is good. He has to be secured with you again but you have to let time pass because either you let their honeymoon ran it’s course and resurface or resurface and continue to be there for him until he realizes that he can’t make the same mistake you did.

Kady

April 19, 2016 at 9:54 pm

Hi,

I’ve had a complicated relationship with this guys for years. It started in high school when we were friends but not very close. He ended up moving to the USA in grade 11 (I live in Canada) and that was when we became close. We talked daily for the next 2.5 years but drifted apart when we started university. About 3 years later we got back in touch, started back up our friendship and ending up dating long distance for just over a year. We even discussed how we both thought we would be good living together and getting married later on.

We ended up splitting in the middle of February because of the distance and his plans to go to Grad school. He claims he doesn’t want me having to wait around years for him or wasting my money on him visiting when he can’t afford to come see me as often. He tells me he plans to eventually move back to Canada when he finishes grad school in 2 years.

We were friendly after the breakup and continued to talk daily until he decided to drop the bomb that he had started seeing someone from his school over a month ago. Even after telling me about the new girl he still told me he thinks about me every day and that I am the person that knows him best in the world. I have known him long enough and seen enough of his relationships to believe that this new girl is just a rebound he is using for sex.

Safe to say I’ve since initiated NC, mainly for my sanity because I know I have nothing nice to say to him right now. I truly do believe that he is the one though. I also purchased your guide and have been reading through your advice, but I’m just not sure what to do when I feel like I am stuck between two terrible ex situations.

I know this is an enormous post. Help anyone?

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 21, 2016 at 2:21 pm

HI Kady,

truth is you have to address this factors first. Time, money, and a plan to be together.. if you don’t have money to spend time together for at least once a month it would really be hard to make a long distance relationship work.. With the girl, you have a lot of history together, so, don’t worry much about her because you’re right she probably is just for sex.

Loena

April 18, 2016 at 10:04 am

I am not completely sure if I got dumped for another girl or if he moved on to another girl. We broke up 6 months ago and he ‘moved on’ really fast (we had a relationship of 5+ years). I did the month no contact (I also improved myself a bit, but I am still in the process of improving) and after that we kept in touch through texting, all our contact was positive. I know his new (rebound?)girlfriend doesn’t like this, she is strongly against us meeting (we just wanted to talk one last time as friends). I just keep being friendly. Now, he is texting me compliments about my looks and says that he has dreamed about us being in a relationship again, which makes me confused. It makes me feel happy, because this indicates somewhat of feelings towards me. However, it also makes me feel insecure because if he texts me things like this when he is in a relationship with her it makes the possibility bigger that he was also texting with her like this when he was in a relationship with me. In the meanwhile, I also moved on but I still have some feelings for him (I always believed we were meant to be, we had a very strong connection which will never fade completely). I just want to know the reason our relationship ended en if he still has feelings for me (and if so, why he never tried to get me back), how do I proceed from here?

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 18, 2016 at 2:53 pm

Hi Loena,

do you mean you want him back or you want to fully move on and just kniw how you can ask him what really happened?

kim

April 3, 2016 at 3:44 pm

Hi, my ex boyfriend and I were together for a year and a couple of months. About a month ago he broke up with me saying that his feelings for me have changed and although he still loves and cares for me, it’s not in a romantic way anymore. I ended up doing no contact for 3 weeks. While on social media, I noticed he had added a girl and it raised my suspicions. Then recently I noticed he liked her picture (which isn’t something he typically does with females). Also I saw a short clip he posted that he was in a taxi and I heard a females voice in the background. I recently started talking to him again but I feel like hes uninterested in talking to me. I’m so worried he’s interested in someone else so soon. I’m not sure what I should do at this point

Loena

April 19, 2016 at 6:42 am

I want him back, but only if he has been honest with me. So I dont know how to proceed in the meantime.
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 21, 2016 at 9:50 am

don’t rush..give yourself time to think
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 4, 2016 at 11:36 am

Hi Kim,

she may be rebound or she has been there during in your relationship and has been the reason he broke up

Rebecca

March 31, 2016 at 6:53 pm

Hello. I’m having trouble

Rebecca

March 31, 2016 at 6:57 pm

I have been with my boyfriend gor almost a year we have been have issues lately. I loved him and I felt he loved me but a few days ago he stopped responding to my text or phone calls I asked him if he wantec to break up with me but no answer. Does he hate me did he ever love me I have no closure
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 3, 2016 at 11:54 am

Hi Rebecca,

sorry for the late reply..It looks like you became clingy… since he’s not responding, do you want to do no contact?

XOXO

March 29, 2016 at 3:12 pm

I’ve just broken up with my boyfriend of 5months. We love each other but we broke up due to the pressure from my mom as she insist us on breaking up. At first my boyf just wanted us to cool off and see how things goes but I guess i was being impatient and i asked him for a definite yes or no. Hence, he said he wanted to break up. Ever since NC (for about 2weeks), he texted me twice asking if i have eaten. I broke the NC rule, i replied him and we had drifted and i do not know what to say to him.
Then i realised he have been texting a girl that he like in the past, i asked if he likes her, he told me yes and no.
I sense that he has been texting the girl everyday but i still hope he will come back to me again.
But i do not know if he ever will and i do not know what i can text him to continue a conversation. HELP PLEASE?

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 3, 2016 at 6:10 am

HI XOXO,

why does your mom want you to break up?

Daisy

March 21, 2016 at 4:18 am

Hi Chris & Amor,

I told you on another article (can’t remember which) that my ex blocked me on Facebook and tried to pick a fight with me 2 weeks after I told him to think about us and decide. He was in FL all this last week. Well, I found out his ex from NY was there with him, and apparently they are planning to move there together (her LinkedIn city is now listed as the same he is applying to jobs in, so that was the conclusion I came to). They dated for 4 years back in college (broke up in 2012) and got back into contact around Christmas. She lives in NY, he and I live in NC. We’re all 26. So even though he’s planning all of this, 2 weeks prior to leaving for FL, he was making out with me and trying to hook up with me and “going insane” because I didn’t respond to texts he sent me. From what our mutual friends were telling me, she was out of the picture (or else I never would have given him the time of day), and all of them are “Team Daisy,” calling me “wife material” and questioning if he truly knows what it is he’s doing (re: screwing things up with me). They also said that she apparently told him that if “this” was going to work, he was going to have to pay for everything.

Well this evening he got back into town, and he sent me a long text message about how he’s sorry for what he did, how he wasn’t completely up front with me, but he said that he doesn’t feel the same about me and that he doesn’t want me to question if something will happen because “it won’t.” I did not respond, as I’m devastated at how hopeless it all is. I blocked his number and on other social media (he still has me blocked on Facebook) because right now it’s too painful, and I know the odds of us having anything healthy between the two of us are very slim for a while. So I have 2 questions: One, what do you think the odds are of his relationship with this other ex working out? and Two, what are the odds of him trying to change his tune and reconnect with me at some point in the future? Am I completely hopeless?

I’m doing what I can to heal and move on just in case, but I’m so dumbfounded because he had told all of his friends when we were together how I was the only girl who has ever liked him for who he was, who he could be himself with. He told them I was the first girl he had ever been in love with and that I could be “the one.” I don’t get how you go from that to just nothing.

Daisy

March 25, 2016 at 10:43 am

So, I stand corrected: SHE is moving with one of her friends, and it seems like HE is trying to move down there too, for whatever reason. A mutual friend told me that from what my ex is telling him, it sounds like she isn’t even interested. My ex also told this friend that he isn’t coming back to me… but I heard that before, last May when we broke up the first time lol
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 28, 2016 at 2:01 am

Hmm.. it’s because they’re not totally new.. they had four years together.. and with what your friend said, it looks like your ex is chasing her
Daisy

March 21, 2016 at 6:12 pm

So it’s serious even if they’ve only been in contact for a couple months and all the fallout with me is still fresh?
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 21, 2016 at 11:17 am

Hi Daisy,

if they are moving together despite what other people and also based in what he said to you, it means they are pretty serious.. The best thing to do now is to move on because if you try to do anything, he will just see that as trying to attack his relationahip, since everybody else is doibg that too

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