My Ex Boyfriend Ghosted Me - How Do I Get Him Back?

320 thoughts on “What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Ghosted You”

Shae

November 26, 2016 at 11:30 pm

I have recently been ghosted by my boyfriend. We have known each other for 8 years or so, a few years went by were we lost touch, but he spent time searching for me online and found me. It was like no time had gone by and our feelings for each other were still there. We professed our love for each other, how much we missed each other and talked every day and messaged each other thruout the day. He pursued me more with his daily ‘I love you’ and “I miss you”.

One week he went out of town. That week I ran out of my anxiety meds (which he knows about my anxiety as he has it too). The withdraws were bad causing my anxiety to skyrocket to levels I have never experienced. While he was gone, I didnt hear much from him – which was no the norm. My anxiety was bad and I began blowing up his phone – and thinking his silence meant he was leaving me. He has promised me over and over of his own accord, he would never leave me and certainly would never behave in a way to ghost me.

When he got back. He ghosted me. I began to panic as this had not happened to me. I refused to answer my calls or respond to voice mails or texts. Completely just ignored me. As a human being who loves this man I kept blowing up his phone. I did not know the proper way to respond to a man who loved me just flat out ignoring me.

I got back on my anxiety meds and ended up getting a text from him that my ‘behavior’ of blowing up his phone and making assumptions was just wrong and ridiculous. And it was making him reconsider his level of involvement with me. What? I could understand his stance, my anxiety was out of control, but it was not a reflection of who I am. He knew this. I apologized regardless for my ‘ridiculous behavior’. He made several promises to get in touch with me. Never did. I have literally been left hanging for weeks and absolutely devastated. I have called and text him – but not blowing up his phone. Every few days. He never said we were over. He never said leave me alone. He never said dont call. His last words to me were ‘we will catch up in a few days’. And that never happened. It has been 2 weeks now.

Today he still refuses to communicate with me. He has blocked me everywhere. I cannot have a mature adult conversation with him because he will not allow it. I have zero closure. I have no idea if he still loves me or if everything he said to me was never true. He said he does not just tell women he loves them. He has only told 3 people ever – and im the 3rd.

What do I do? We were planning a future together. He was moving near me (before we even got back in touch). I am unable to communicate AT ALL!!!! I am so distraught. Depression has set in. I made one mistake (blowing up his phone while having major anxiety) – and now im being punished forever. He has pushed me out of his life w/out a real conversation about any of it.

What do I do? My heart is shattered.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 28, 2016 at 4:30 pm

Hi Shae,

you have to be stronger and keep reminding yourself that you’re not being punished and that you have the decision and power to help yourself. Do what you need to do for yourself first before thinking about a relationship

Jessica

November 25, 2016 at 12:40 pm

So me and my boyfriend broke up 2 months ago due to him feeling he didn’t love me anymore, obviously throughout the time I tried to beg and plead. I attempted the no contact rule but failed every time and continued to try and get him to want to work things out. As a result we tried to be friends with benefits but we both agreed it wasn’t right. We tried talking and trying to be friends again, but all I did was talk about us and try and push it along further. So now he’s asked for space, he never said how long so I am currently starting the no contact rule I’m only one day in. But I want to know how I go about this, do I wait for him to contact me eventually ? or do I continue to do no contact until he finally contacts me even if it is longer that 30 – 45 days ? I really want me and him to be able to work things out, I don’t want to make anymore mistakes.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 27, 2016 at 5:43 pm

Hi Jessica,

the more you do the no contact rule, the less it can help you. So, it would be best if you stick to 45 days.. after that you can initiate but you have to be active in improving yourself. Make it seem you’ve accepted and moved on. Don’t do it just for the sake of staying silent..

Krstie

November 14, 2016 at 11:58 pm

Hey guys…soo I think I have been ghosted.I have been seeing this guy since end of August. We never had the exclusive talk and I never took down my online profile. Anyway last week he asked me to do something on Saturday so I got sick on Thursday like swollen glands and all. So he left me chocolates on my door..chocolates I dont like like and he does so that was weird. Anyway because I felt so bad we talked about canceling saturdays plans…so Saturday I actually felt really good and it was my kid free weekend so I was bummed that even though we cxld he didnt say hey why dont i come over and watch a movie. Anyway I didnt really hear from him except he said he wasnt feeling well and he was just relaxing…then nothing for the rest of the night..I believe he didnt have his kids either. So Sunday he text me Hey what are you guys up to? I respond not my weekend with the kids. He responded Oh sorry forgot. So I was kinda annoyed and pissed so I didnt respond or text him and guess what he didnt contact me either. mind you we usually text all day long and talk at night. Hes been very supportive and kind in some ways. Soo I texted him Thursday because I quit my job that was making me miserable. So I texted and said Soo I quit my job. He did respond saying OMG what happened I am at an event. So I told him and I said I almost didnt reach out because I havent heard from you. he said Sorry this week has been crazy(total excuse to me) I said dont be sorry. You don’t have to make things up. we went back and forth about my new job and I said I dont want to bother you enjoy your event. He texted again and i responded but then he didnt reply and I havent heard from him since? I am a little hurt I would have thought at 47 he could hae sent a text hey not feeling it anymore I am sitting on doing nothing but I dont even get it was this a ghosting did he think i was ignoring him..I kind of was but fully expected to hear from him. Let me know your thoughts and what I should do at this point. Do I just move on?
ThanksI had submitted this last night but my comment disappeared ?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 15, 2016 at 5:59 pm

Hi Kristie,

I think you’re not understanding expectations here. What are you two really?

KB

November 14, 2016 at 12:44 am

Hey guys…soo I think I have been ghosted.I have been seeing this guy since end of August. We never had the exclusive talk and I never took down my online profile. Anyway last week he asked me to do something on Saturday so I got sick on Thursday like swollen glands and all. So he left me chocolates on my door..chocolates I dont like like and he does so that was weird. Anyway because I felt so bad we talked about canceling saturdays plans…so Saturday I actually felt really good and it was my kid free weekend so I was bummed that even though we cxld he didnt say hey why dont i come over and watch a movie. Anyway I didnt really hear from him except he said he wasnt feeling well and he was just relaxing…then nothing for the rest of the night..I believe he didnt have his kids either. So Sunday he text me Hey what are you guys up to? I respond not my weekend with the kids. He responded Oh sorry forgot. So I was kinda annoyed and pissed so I didnt respond or text him and guess what he didnt contact me either. mind you we usually text all day long and talk at night. Hes been very supportive and kind in some ways. Soo I texted him Thursday because I quit my job that was making me miserable. So I texted and said Soo I quit my job. He did respond saying OMG what happened I am at an event. So I told him and I said I almost didnt reach out because I havent heard from you. he said Sorry this week has been crazy(total excuse to me) I said dont be sorry. we went back and forth about my new job and I said I dont want to bother you enjoy your event. He texted again and i responded but then he didnt reply and I havent heard from him since? I am a little hurt I would have thought at 47 he could hae sent a text hey not feeling it anymore I am sitting on doing nothing but I dont even get it was this a ghosting did he think i was ignoring him..I kind of was but fully expected to hear from him. Let me know your thoughts and what I should do at this point.
Thanks

kb

November 30, 2016 at 1:09 pm

hi so did I do the right thing by ignoring his Thanksgiving text? I just don’t know what to do if he called I wouldnt be rude but I know he isnt and I guess I didnt reply because I didnt want to seem like I cared. Things seemed good between us I really don’t know what happened. btw Thank you..forgot to say that. I just feel like I need him to reach out to me more then a Text on Thanksgiving.
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 30, 2016 at 10:00 pm

You’re welcome! Yes, you did. Because at least it helps to implement that you don’t need that phone call. If it’s an emergency, he would text it.
kb

November 25, 2016 at 9:59 pm

Hi So he never called that was this past Tuesday. Then I received a Happy Thanksgiving text from him saying he hopes me and my girls have a nice holiday. Then says I know I owe you a phone call I promise I will give you a call next week and we can catch up.
I just ignored it I didnt reply. I don’t know what he expects from me. he basically dissapeared from my life for the past 3 weeks so yeah I guess we are done. why he keeps saying he’s calling me I don’t know. I am just going to focus on myself maybe try to date and move forward unless he ends up on my doorstep..and I am pretty sure he won’t.
KB

November 22, 2016 at 12:34 pm

Hi Again,
ok so he texted me that he was calling me tonight. I am pretty sure this is an official we arent see each other call. He has been cold and careful not to lead me on. Even when I texting him that I missed kissing him ugh I know. So part of me doesnt want to anwer tonight because i am just going to feel worse about it after he tellsme he doesnt want to see me anymore. I can’t imagine after him basically going no contact for 2 weeks that anything good is going to come from this convo. So could you please advise? Should I just ignore the call and move on or if I answer I really don’t know how to act I feel like I will be pretending I am fine and will hang up and cry. I hate this things were really good between us…I do have a lot of personal things going on but I try to keep as best I can a handle on them..things I have to deal with since my divorce. Please advise me…
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 24, 2016 at 4:59 pm

It would be better to just face it than avoid it.did you?
Kristie

November 15, 2016 at 6:21 pm

We were dating. We texted and spoke everyday since end of August. And then one day nothing. So did I think he was my boyfriend no but we were dating and talking and seeing each other regularly.
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 15, 2016 at 10:23 pm

Hmm.. ok.. I agree, you’re dating but you’re not actually exclusively girlfriend boyfriend right? I understand now, that it’s normal that you have those expectations but I think it could have been resolved by talking first. Because he doesn’t know what you want. I don’t think he’s ghosting you yet. Maybe he just doesn’t have anything to say after your last text. Talk as calmly as you want. Talk to him as if you understand that he doesn’t know what you want. So, now, talking to him is your way of communicating your needs.
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 15, 2016 at 5:58 pm

Hi Kristie,

I think you’re not understanding expectations here. What are you two really?

Jane

October 23, 2016 at 3:44 am

Me and this guy had been dating for a year and a half now. We both had agreed that we didn’t want to be a serious relationship yet and we just enjoyed being with each other. But then over the last 6 months, he started ghosting me. This was also around the time that he started getting closer to one of my friends and he used to hang out with her sometimes. But I wasn’t really threatened by it or anything. But we suddenly broke up about a month ago, when we had a long conversation on text where he said that he doesn’t see this going anywhere. Throughout the whole conversation, I did beg and plead for him to re-consider and give it another try. But he was adamant and I gave up and accepted it and we broke up that day on fairly friendly terms. He said he wanted to be friends but I went into No-Contact soon after the breakup. And it worked very well! He kept trying to contact me. After 3 weeks, he contacted me saying he wants to talk and we met up. He apologised and said he wanted to work it out. I was really happy, and we were having a good time and understanding each other. But then, I brought up some topic which involved his best friend and he left saying he wanted to think about it. After that , he’s ghosting me again. He won’t initiate any conversations and his reply to my texts are very short and he doesn’t try to keep the conversation going. Also, I feel very upset that I am not able to make him smile, he doesn’t confide in me or come to me for comfort like he used to. Instead, I’ve noticed that the friend of mine who he has gotten close to over the last 6 months is easily able to hold conversations with him and even make him laugh and he texts her sometimes. I feel jealous and abandoned. It doesn’t really feel like I’ve gotten him back. Also, I try to give him space and not text him, but it doesn’t seem to be having any effect. He hasn’t contacted me after our last conversation. Giving him space is not working the same way No-contact after the breakup was. What do I do to make him come to me again. It feels like if I ignore him, he just won’t notice or care. Also, meanwhile he seems to be getting closer to my friend. Maybe he’ll just forget about me if I ignore him. I don’t now what to do. I just feel sad that even after getting him back, it feels like he’s not here.

Jane

October 25, 2016 at 4:53 am

I really do want to be his best friend and get him to be comfortable with him again….but he doesn’t give me much time or attention….Never initiates conversations or asks to meet up….how do I get him to be comfort able with me again? He’s kinda ghosting me after we got back together!
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 26, 2016 at 2:02 pm

you have to initiate..and you have to be patient, if he doesn’t agree for the first or second time, don’t get angry.. because if he did lose feelings for you, he’s just waiting for a reason to break up with you again.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 24, 2016 at 9:16 pm

Hi Jane,

I think he felt attacked when you asked him abouy his best friend,it’s like he was confronted.. the good thing is you got him back, it wont be awkward to invite him out and have fun.. jusr do it.. set aside any inquiries you have..be like his best friend

Jaimy

October 15, 2016 at 12:01 pm

Hi amor, we were not engaged we were talking about it a long time and then jn february he told his family. In my culture if you introduce the marriage talk to the families, It shouldn’t take long before the man has to ask the woman for her hand in marriage. I think he felt pressured. Because his family was also pressuring him to set a date. So you think he ghosted out of pressure? What do you advice me to do? It has been almost 3 months of no contact. I miss him very much and i don’t know what to do. Sometimes i think i should just move on. How can somebody be with you for so long and be so cold? If someone loves you they can’t be this harsh right?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 16, 2016 at 4:36 pm

Yeah.. that’s the only clear reason from you story.. It looks like you have a small but even if it has been 3 months since you’ve talked, were those three months focused in improving yourself? Because if he doesn’t want to get married, then he wouldn’t talk to you if he thinks you haven’t moved on.. If he thinks you have moved on and you’re just being friendly, there’s a chance he might answer you texts.. So, even if it has been three months, try to do a month of solely improving yourself, and starting a new routine. Be active in social media. And then after a month, initiate contact with him. Just be friendly.. Try the recommend first contact text in the site..Check the link for the first contact text..
EBR 053: Deconstructing The Perfect First Contact Text Message

Jaimy

October 15, 2016 at 1:38 am

Hi Ebr, i need your advice. I’m from the netherlands so excuse my english.

I have been with someone for 4 years. We were in a serious and good relationship and at the point of getting married. He told his family about it and i told mine and we were verru happy. Then i noticed he was getting a bit scared of the idea of this commitment. He would tel me that he freaks out and he stretches out dates with my family etc. He sometimes would go no contact for days and one time for 3 weeks. When he got back he would be sincerly sorry. Last time I told him it’s time to make a decision. Move forward or go our seperate ways. He said he wanted to grow old with me the rest of his life etc and doesn’t want me out of his life. But he just doesn’t know why he feels so scared. Anyway suddenly he ghosted on me. We were fighting and made up. After that He told me he would text me when he finishes his work and i never heard from him again. He turned his phone of. He doesn’t return my emails. I went to his house twice and didn’t find him home. I talked to his family and they don’t know why he’s acting like this. When they drop my name he doesn’t engage in the conversation. So it’s been 78 days. I’m going trough hell and am so sad. I think i’m not ever going to get an explanation why. How can someone be so cold. it’s like i never excisted. What do you think of this? Do you think i will ever hear something again?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 15, 2016 at 4:20 am

Hi Jaimy,

You were engaged? Or it just happenened that you talked about the future and you shared it with your families? I think he just doesnt want to get married soon.. He wants to marry you someday but not now, he felt pressured

Daisy

October 9, 2016 at 5:40 pm

Thanks for responding Amor. He ghosted me this last Monday night when he said he’d call. And he didn’t, and I have t heard from him since. Should I just met him go then?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 11, 2016 at 8:15 am

For me yes, but if you really don’t want to give up.. At least do a proper no contact.. do 45 days.. and just focus in improving yourself during and after no contact..

Daisy

October 7, 2016 at 7:13 pm

Hello, is anyone from the EBR team going to respond to my scenario please?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 9, 2016 at 4:03 pm

Hi Daisy,

sorry for the late reply..I havent reached your comment yet.. anyways, you became a text gnat at the end of the relationship, which was a bit normal because he was ghosting you but I think it would be better if you had just started the no contact rule right away..

and when was that? how long has it been since he ghosted you?

Daisy

October 6, 2016 at 11:12 pm

My boyfriend and I have been together 6 months. We met online. We hit it off well, and we both are co parents. That brought a challenge bc our schedules were opposite, so when we became exclusive I was expecting to see him more and it felt like I was the one who was trying to figure out ways to see each other more than the once or twice per week bc we hadn’t involved our kids much yet. Just this past weekend I went on the dating site to disable my acct and I saw that he visited my profile. So I took a pic of t and sent him a texted saying that I saw him and being dace caustic asking if he saw anything he liked. His response was that someone from China emailed him and that according to logarithms he’s found what he needed bc I’m his high test match. Then he changed the subject asking what I was doing and about see in some movie. But of course an alarm went off in my mind so I started texting question after question on why he’d go on a dating site, and why would he would go on bc someone emailed him if this was normal behavior for him when he’s in a relationship with someone. He said it wasn’t what he usually does, and that he did it for no reason. Well, I wasn’t satisfied with that answer so I co rubies to text him more, he never responded for the rest of the night. So the next morning I co to urs texting and asking him why he was ignoring me. He finally responded to tell me he wasn’t avoiding or ignoring and that he’s been in meetings all day and asked if we could talk after work. I said yes and to please call me. He said that he would. That was Monday and I haven’t heard from him since, it is now Thursday. I’ve sent him some text and called him to no avail and haven’t received any response from him. So today I sent him a text saying that it appears the silence is his way of telling me that he doesn’t want to be with me anymore, and that it was ok but just lettin me know and being honest would have been cool. I sent him a few more texts after that. So I’m pretty sure I’m being ghosted. And, of course it hurts and I feel totally rejected. Thoughts?
Calli

October 6, 2016 at 4:50 am

Hello,

I have commented before on another thread, but can’t seem to remember where, so I’ll start another one. We’ve been on and off, hot and cold. I hadn’t spoken with him for about 3 weeks (your last comment recommended I wait one week until I contact him…I don’t expect you to remember, but just for reference). I texted him a pretty lame “hey what are you up to tonight?”. He has ghosted in the past, so I wasn’t sure I’d get a response. I walked away from my phone for 30 minutes or so. When I checked my phone, I saw that he responded nearly immediately with FIVE texts plus he tried to call me. He immediately told me what he was doing, said he ordered pizza, and wanted me to join him. I had other plans, but did eventually go over there, and…we did hook up (I know, I know). He had to work very early the next morning, so we didn’t get to spend much time together.

Anyways, I texted him again tonight, and I’m not getting a response so I think he’s freaking ghosting again!

Do you have any advice? Should I NC? Or should I give up on him since he keeps ghosting me like this?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 7, 2016 at 5:02 pm

Oh no.. it was a booty call… don’t do it again.. Honestly, I think you should move on.

KayDee

September 28, 2016 at 4:38 pm

Hi,
I need an opinion on something . I was dating someone for 3 months things wernt going well as we were always arguing to a point he broke up with me. He then called me the same evening telling me he made a big mistake and it won’t happen again. We spoke about it and I told him we would talk about after I’ve come back from my holiday.

Last Saturday I didn’t think was my last time with him. He invited me to his house and we had a long chat about what we both want but he also said that it would be a make or break conversation. We spoke about everything what I wanted and what he wanted . he suggested we go back to basics . I asked him what he wanted and he said he wanted to be loved . to be fair he is going through a lot . his granny is very very ill . His work is stressful and he is also getting ready for exams . He even asked if I was prepared to go in to this blindly by supporting him and I reassured him.I would
I even suggested that if he needed space from me I would understand . I then told him that I needed to leave early for a family event. He was disappointed but clearly got over it . last Monday I went in to his Facebook and to my shock he unfriended me . I messaged and no response .. 🙁 I’m in limbo and I’m devastated….. I went on match.com where I met him and I saw he was online … He has mentioned that he would go online to see if I was online but this time it hurts a lot more 🙁 please help I don’t know what to do ….

KayDee

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 30, 2016 at 11:23 am

hi kaydee,

so you didnt actually broke up right because he took it back?

Nara

September 9, 2016 at 5:52 am

Hi Amor. Thank you for your feedback!

We were practically LDR since few weeks into the relationship due to work and also sudden health issues involving his father.

I cant contact him anyway as he blocked my nunber and social media so the 45 days NC should be fine and easy to follow.
After that, what should I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 10, 2016 at 11:03 am

He has to unblock you first.. if you’re not unblocked yet, you have to extend nc..If you are unblocked, initiate contact and then slowly build rapport.

Nara

September 7, 2016 at 3:37 pm

Hi.

My ex of 7 months broke up with me by ghosting. It was a LDR so i cant confront him when it happened.
It has been 3months since I last text him. He ignored all my calls and texts ever since.
He had me blocked in Facebook and he even blocked my number now. I didnt beg but i did not exactly go NC the first month either- i texted him asking how he was doing etc.

I am still in contact with his sister and she even tried to help me by telling his brother to contact me. Obviously he didnt like that.

What should I do now?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 8, 2016 at 2:31 pm

Hi Nara,

start the count of doing 45 days no contact. Thank his sister for helping you but she has to stop now. And then just focus in improving and healing.. How long were you ldr?

Liz

September 1, 2016 at 12:17 am

Hi,

I had just been ghosted by a guy that I was dating for a year long distance. I could tell it was fading…but didn’t “want to see it.” We had an argument about a month prior which sparked the fade…but just about 2 1/2 weeks ago we were having a normal conversation then the next day he ghosted. I texted him about two times after and called a few. I sent him a message stating my feelings of being upset. I never heard back. It’s been about 2 1/2 weeks. I don’t believe that I will ever hear from him again. Out of sight… out of mind. I’m assuming he had moved on? Such a cowardly thing to do, and even if he did have issues with something I did, he could have communicated that with me. I’m just frustrated, and have it in my head that was the last contact we will ever have, which is upsetting.

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 1, 2016 at 1:33 pm

HI LIz,

do you still want to try what’s advised here?

M.

August 29, 2016 at 10:30 pm

His birthday were yesterday and i didn t wish him all day or the evening when we were together with his friends watching movies. Actually he changed seat when i came closer and when he saw me texting he asked his friend to give him his phone to see if he had message..on purpose?idk.,i was a bit angry but later when i returned home i decided to text him happy bd.he replied the next morning.i didn t plan to send him anything else but later i changed my mind and i texted him “it was nice yesterday being all together like last year” he said yes it was,i put a smile face and stopped there.later at night he came with his friend but after some time sat a bit further like always,then went home.and then texted me “there s a guy that likes you, his name is … And add him if you want”. I said do you want that? And he said “i don t mind..basically he doesn t like you,he told me to tell you to add him on fb”… Why did he do that?? Does it mean it s really over??

M.

September 24, 2016 at 3:36 pm

I rarerly meet him and he never talks to me,so i don t also..but anything else I can do?? To change this “you ignore me,i ignore you”??
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 25, 2016 at 8:42 am

If you bump into him, just smile. If you’re close enough just say hi. The more you act awkward or avoiding, he will too. Don’t make a big deal of meeting or bumping into him. If he ignores you, don’t be angry or react to him. Just let him. Let him take his time
?M.

September 23, 2016 at 3:31 pm

My cousin as a boy told me the same thing but I don t understand why! Or what I am supposed to do? Ignore both? Flirt with the guy? Talk to my ex as nothing happens?wait until he talks?? I don t know..this week i might go again to the village but what should i do?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 24, 2016 at 1:33 pm

Just be normal.. The more you act like you’re playing his game, the more he will play it on you..
M.

September 19, 2016 at 2:03 pm

My cousin as a boy told me the same thing but I don t understand why! Or what I am supposed to do? Ignore both? Flirt with the guy? Talk to my ex as nothing happens?wait until he talks?? I don t know..
M.

September 16, 2016 at 8:02 pm

I can t get it.. That seems he talks with his friends about me,why else they d say she must have been jealous.. And today that guy that my ex wanted me to add on fb because he was interested, added me himself,liked my photo and texted me also.. But now I left the village.I really don t get it! He is not goodlooking at all or anything and i don’t know if my ex wants to tease me,test me or he realky doesn t care…?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 19, 2016 at 6:16 am

maybe he wants to test you..
M.

September 13, 2016 at 10:34 pm

I don t go with him out anymore,I have to see him 2 days. But today I learned some things.It happened that this guy that was saying the other day that saw my ex with a girl and later asked me if i had a relantinship with X, came today and i talked with him.there were two of my ex’s friends there but left and later i talked with him alone..i asked about X and he said he heard that from someone else,probably because they saw us together. Then he said that the things he said about my ex were lies and asked me if i and him had something(he didn t knew), so i said that we had a relantionship.He said; ‘I asked you that because that day he(my ex) told me “you did well saying those things about me and a girl” and later I heard one of his friends telling him “she sure must have been jealous hearing that!”,..’. So it s proven he tries to make me jealous,that guy is very straightforward and tells the truth I m sure. But I don t understand why my ex tries to make me jealous but does nothing to be with me? He cares or not?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 16, 2016 at 6:59 pm

it’s more likely just because he feels good, like it makes him feel like a man
M.

September 12, 2016 at 12:23 pm

yes, I am not sure of that, but last year he-I’ll call him X- went to my ex now,boyfriend then, and told him that i was out with another guy and making out.I was out with a guy indeed but did nothing at all,just talking..But this made us almost break up then.So i know that he wants me but i’ve said no to him last year and this year again and i’m afraid he might do the same things.Because he wouldn’t help me talking to my ex(that is his friend and his brother’s friend),but encourage him to find another girl.Then when one of X’s friends approached me and starting doing something,after one day stops talking to me and kind of avoids me.And other guys that came and talk to me ,later stop. Until one came and told me if me and X have a relantionship cause that’s what he heard… I said no but couldn’t ask more at that time..I’m just very worried if he says things to others and my ex as well,because these days seems very distand,I don’t see him,not even at fb..and i don’t know why’s that!?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 13, 2016 at 8:37 pm

Confront X, but I think it would be better if it’s done through text so that you have proof in case he uses it against you. And then avoid talking to him after that. Cut all ties with X, and avoid talking to any guy in their circle, so that he can’t whisper in that guy’s ear.

As long as you’re not doing what he says you do, your actions will prove him wrong. It will come to a point that the people he talks to will even say that’s not how they know you.
M.

September 10, 2016 at 2:14 pm

well I try but I don’t know if I succeed it.and there are a lot happening I am not aware i think.Cause yesterday a guy whose friend and i did something and talk to us lately, kind of was ‘fishing’ me if i had a relantionship with this guy who likes me and lies a lot about my ex,me etc. and that made my suspicions stronger because I notice everytime a guy shows interest in me after a while for some reason stays away.So i denied but couldn’t ask more at this moment.But lately my ex and his friends came and that guy started saying things like my ex’s ex gf wants him still but he doesn’t reply to her and that he saw him last night whith a girl doing something..he kind of denied it but then he said yes,I think they both were joking cause his friend said that he wasn’t out last night but I don’t know if he hasn’t a girl really… I was just sitting trying to keep an indeferent face..later we returned home and he came with me and his sister,but without talking at all.. I don’t know if i sould like ‘inform’ him and the other guy what’s going on and that i don’t have a relantionship and are all lies? or what to do to reverse this situation and learn what happens behind my back?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 12, 2016 at 7:57 am

sorry M, I dont understand. Did you mean there’s a guy spreading rumors about you?
M.

September 8, 2016 at 11:29 am

Yesterday one of them was here with us and told that he caught one couple last night and then his sister said”ah i think I know” and whispered something in his ear and I think I caught the word ”brother”…and really there aren t many who would be in that place… I don’t know what to beleive…I haven t seen any likes or anything to suggest who that is.But later I decided not to go watch a movie with them.And I saw on fb that he wasn t online so the other times that i was with them he indeed did it on purpose being online and talk with other girls..I don’t know what to think, I ‘m very confused, I don’t understand his behaviour. And I don’t even know if should be friendly and greet him or not?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 9, 2016 at 11:50 am

be friendly.. if he’s really trying to make you jealous then you have to act like you arent
M.

September 7, 2016 at 11:22 am

I see that he’s changed since last year…for the worse I mean.And I’m afraid because of them..So I just let it be and wait if he will talk to me again?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 8, 2016 at 10:18 am

For now yes. Rest from initiating. If he doesn’t initiate in the next two weeks, you can but if he keeps believing his friends, then it’s better to move on.
M.

September 6, 2016 at 11:36 am

I’m just afraid he’s been brainwashed by them..they will tell lies about everything in order to get what they want.One of them last year almost made us break up like that..and I see that even if start talking more with other guys later they change,walk away and don’t talk to me all of the sudden..The point is that he beleives them because the are his friends and beleives that they wont do anything ”bad” to him, like take me away,or make up with me..But this is what’s happening but I can’t tell him because I will be the bitch and anyway he wouldn’t beleive me.right?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 7, 2016 at 7:45 am

Don’t think like that.. Because the more you think that all guys are like that, the more you will get treated like that because you will act on that belief.

Be consistent on who you are and what you do. Lies are lies and if you keep living the truth, it will show. If he believes more in the lies, then he’s the one that’s losing a good person, and you’re dodging an indecisive one.
M.

September 4, 2016 at 11:26 am

yesterday was the same..when we started watching the film he asked for a phone to send messages to other girl and he and his friend that likes me were talking loud,saying things like “you’re a player”,”she’s your’s” etc…I was just staring the screen pretending i watch the film with a blanc face.then talked quietly with his friend’s brother..My biggest concern is that his friend and his brother both like me and try to push him into other girls so that he wont return,also lie to me so i wont want him…I don t know how to deal with this because nobody will help me.. and I don t know if he thinks I chase him. because his friend had seen me dancing and making out with another guy and logically has told him..right? it s all so messed up!So what i do??
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 5, 2016 at 2:34 pm

As long as you don’t act flirty with them too, let them be. If he really likes you or he’s attracted back to you, he will pursue you.
M.

September 2, 2016 at 11:26 pm

I m not sure how to treat him or what to say if i start a conversation because he seems like his not interested in me,i think he knows there was a guy that we had something but he doesn t look bothered,but if we re together i think he on purpose try to make me either jealous or angry..i can t understand really! What s going on? What do i say to him when he doesn t even greet me??
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 3, 2016 at 5:27 pm

I think it’s because he knows you’re chasing him and he wants to keep it that way for now because it makes him feel good.. He makes you jealous enough to stay hooked and intrigued but doesnt engage because he’s not really interested yet to get back with you..
M.

September 2, 2016 at 12:45 am

Today i was out with some friends,guys only and he showed up ,talked with one guy that is his friend and he later told me that he was on a date with his friend and 2girls and they had sex,and that he likes one girl and dates her for a month or so,yet i didn t beleive it cause that guy likes me and has lied about me too.also said he didn t know the girl which is quite strange in a small community and he couldn t have sex im possitive about it because i know he s young and unexperienced and he cant on his own,let alone with a younger girl.. So he always tries to make me jealous or angry but don t do anything to get back together.. Or talk even as friends.. I don t know what to do or tell him really..
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 2, 2016 at 2:58 pm

just don’t respond to that. Take the high road..
M.

August 31, 2016 at 11:28 pm

He didn t mention anything else when i said “ok,tell the other guy,thank you” he said only “welcome” and ended there.today they were at the football field practising and i saw him looking..later we were all together watching a film and he was asking from his friends their phone to send messages, talking about other girls etc.. And didn t say anything to me when we left later and i passed alone in front of him.. I was very angry,yet tried not to show that, but laugh,joke,be cool. But i don t know..i feel like he s not interested in me anymore.. What i can do??
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 1, 2016 at 1:12 pm

Start as friends again.. that means dont expect him to have feelings for you, but you’re going to create it by attracting him back.. So, that’s right that you didnt show you were pissed because you dont have the right to be pissed anymore.. dont be too available.. continue with your own activitied, so that you will be interesting
M.

August 30, 2016 at 11:27 am

I asked why did he asked him to tell me and he said i don’t know,what should I reply?…so I said ok, but what from now on??if he wants to ‘get rid of me’ and has no more feelings?
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 31, 2016 at 1:10 pm

act as if he doesnt like you anymore.. that means you’re reattracting him back..
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 30, 2016 at 11:20 am

Maybe it’s just his way of testing you.. Just agree and say thanks. If the nc is done, it’s time to slowly rebuild rapport.

M.

August 27, 2016 at 12:55 am

At his birthday will be almost 30 days of not talking to him..still i don t know what to say or do because he rarerly shows up and he doesn’t admit anything! I don t know if he still likes me at all cause he said he didn’ t ,even so he seems jealous and when i am around hisnfriend he always shows up somehow..so i am afraid of rejection and i don t know how to talk to him or what i say…??

M.

August 29, 2016 at 10:27 pm

His birthday were yesterday and i didn t wish him all day or the evening when we were together with his friends watching movies. Actually he changed seat when i came closer and when he saw me texting he asked his friend to give him his phone tonsee if he had message..on purpose?idk.,i was a bit angry but kater when i returned home i decided to text him happy bd.he replied the next morning.i didn t plan ti send him anythingbelse but later i changed my mind and i texted him “it was nice yesterday being all together like last year” he said yes it was,i put a smike face and stopped there.later at night he came with his friend but after some time sat a bit further like always,then went home.and then texted me “there s a guy that likes you, his name is … And add him if younwant”. I said do you want that? And he said “i don t mind..basically he doesn t like you,he told me to tell you to add him on fb”… Why did he do that?? Does it mean it s really over??

Sarah

August 24, 2016 at 5:14 pm

We were together for 1.5 years. Were looking at buying a house together, having babies. We got into a fight because I found out that he had been married 15 years ago and he never told me and he broke up with me cause I cursed him out. That was the first time I have done that. I apologize the next day but he was still mad. Waited five more days and text him. He said he did not want to get back together with me when I asked him. I told him I leave him alone and went into no contact for 30 days. He did not contact me during those 30 days. I text him after 30 days that I saw something and thought of him. He did not respond. Waited a week and text him again. Did not get a response.

I am not sure why he is has not responded. I am not sure if he is angry that I went no contact on him or if he already found someone else. It just hurts that he has not responded to me. I feel like I have been ghost.

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 28, 2016 at 4:43 pm

Hi Sarah,

Wow! he lied big time and then turned the tables on you on something you said because you were angry, when you have all the right to be angry!

I’m not sure if he’s being proud right now or he’s ashamed and cant face you.

usually after the third approach, we advice you to move on but for now, try to rest for two weeks before trying again

CD

August 22, 2016 at 7:47 pm

So, my ex ghosted me at the beginning of July. We had been dating for about a year and 1/2. At first he started being distant and then he just stopped responding to me all together. I texted twice to no reply and then I went into no contact mode. We actually had a great relationship and a not so messy breakup. Meaning I didn’t do the normal bad things ppl do after a breakup. I didn’t beg, text or call repeatedly. Although I thought about doing all of them lol. So I completed the 30 days of NC and then we started reconnecting again, talking and even flirting. So I felt like I was on the right track. But this past weekend one of my friends still has him on snapchat and she noticed he was venting on snap about a relationship not working out and mentioned he loved her. Clearly not me, but my guess was he tried to get back with an ex but realized it’s not working out. My friend told me about what she had seen on snapchat and of course I was hurt because I finally realized why he ghosted me. I honestly knew that a strong possibly but I finally had a confirmation. Even though we’ve been talking, we haven’t discussed any of the details of breakup at all. (I was under the impression I wasn’t supposed to until we actually met face to face.)He texted me yesterday and I left him on read. then he sent another message a couple of hours later and I responded with just a hey and then he sent another message but I didn’t respond and left that message on read as well. I was mad at the time and didn’t want to send any angry texts so I felt like not responding was the best choice. I was wondering what my next move should be?

CD

August 23, 2016 at 6:48 pm

Hi Amor,
He actually never said it was over. His way of breaking things off was by ghosting me. in general he doesn’t like confrontation, so he ignores things instead of dealing with them. I texted him a long cute message saying how much I missed and loved him, because he was being so distant lately and he didn’t even read my message until the next day and he didn’t reply. Then I sent a text asking if we were over and he never replied. I went on vacation at the end of the week and he suppose to take me to the airport and never made contact about that. and from there I just knew we were done. Even though we started talking I’ve never mentioned any of it. Before he ghosted me he used words like baby, honey etc but now it’s just a regular conversation.
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 27, 2016 at 3:33 pm

ok.. you said he ghosted you on the first week of july but you also said you did 30 days nc amd then now reconnected but you’re silent again.. so, I’m going to assume your last text on july was in the same week he ghosted you…

and he also ghosted you because he tried to go back with his ex, you’ve been together for a year and a half so it’s either he used you for a rebound and waited for the right time to get back with his ex or he saw his ex and saw her as a grass is greener case..

In either case, that means he has to see you as the better choice.. are you improving yourself?
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 23, 2016 at 5:26 pm

Hi Cd,

sorry, I just had to ask. If you had a break up, when did he ghost you? before or after it? and when did you actually break up?

M.

August 19, 2016 at 3:11 am

So you think that too…some days ago it happened and i saw him with his friends passing from the beach.ipwe didn t notice each other at first but then his friend saw me,turned to him and he looked,i pretented to look somewhere else but then i saw as they walked his friend again tald something to him and looked back to me. Then the same afternoon he came to were i was sitting with his sister and our friend and sat and talk to them,then asked if he could send a message to someone but he couldn t so he left.. The other day he was sleeping to his friend again so they passed from the beach again and they came closer this time and his friend said sth i didn t listen but i heard him say “i don t want to”! And they passed said hello to my cousin and left…and then again this evening we were out and when i came to the table he left and he was all the time with his phone texting i think..after a while my company said we leave and i left with a boy first , then when the rest came he was together with one of his friends.. But after some minutes they left together..so yesterday his sister and my friend tried to bring me tohether with a boy.he was around and heard her saying some things,then he was looking at us i noticed and then i left with him for a bit and my friend said he seemed angry to her..the same evening while we were sitting out he came out of the house he was siting and said if he could come together to our car because we wanted to go toi a club the next day and he wouldn t come but changed his mind.then he called his friend and i heard sth about a girl that i ve noticed being around him all the time at the beach.so the next day i see him with her and her friends and when intalk tonhis friend he comes with that girl to check us i beleive and leave again.andnthe night finally he comes in the car with us but don t say anything to me or even lpok at me,but i noticed two times he came around and saw me having a great time dancing with my friends and that boy from yestrday too and i think he was bit down,not happy, my friend agreed to that, I don t know what to make from all these! I can t tell if i have any hopes or not or what i do ??

M.

August 22, 2016 at 11:20 pm

At his birthday will be almost 30 days of not talking to him..still i don t know what to say or do because he rarerly shows up and he doesn’t admit anything! I don t know if he still likes me at all cause he said he didn’ t ,even so he seems jealous and when i am around hisnfriend he always shows up somehow..so i am afraid of rejection and i don t know how to talk to him or what i say…
M.

August 21, 2016 at 11:03 pm

I feel i ve lost all my summer and maybe my last chance to do something .. And i feel like he s not going to talk to me again no matter what.his friends are very bad influence as well.he never stays in the same place with me and i wanted before i do leave have the chance to talk to him..in 7 days it s his birthday and i rarerly see him now so i can show myself and i don t know what to do now!
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 22, 2016 at 10:48 am

Regret of wasted time is another waste of time. So, enjoy the rest of the summer there. If you really want to talk, go ahead. So, that you won’t have another regret. Just don’t go begging to him
M.

August 21, 2016 at 12:27 am

I try to look the best i can when i am out, work out a bit and also seem happy and laugh or talk with otjer guys.. Yesterday he was playing tennis at the beach with a girl that is following him always,i think he sit with her sometimes to make me jealous but i noticed that when she came,he walked away and when me and my friend came out of the water he came out too,leaving the others.then that guy that likes me came so i sat with him and talked and then we went in the sea again andni saw him watching. But in the night he wasitiing with us for a while but then he suddenly decided he will go out and hisnfriend told me that henwill come back with a guy that is hanging out with that girl and others. But my cousinnwhonwas there told me that he was avoiding her and that he asked one of his friends if he s having a girl or doing sth and said no.. Even so he doesn t seem like he s interested in me and i m sure he wont talk to me by his own. And soon it s his birthday and also i m leaving from here so i wanted to be in good terms at least ..but i don t see how?
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 21, 2016 at 4:09 pm

dont rush it.. you’ll look like you cant resist and just had to to talk to him.. and besides even of you talk to him before you leave, you’ll still leave.. one talk is not going to make the relationship better all of a sudden
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 20, 2016 at 1:16 pm

sorry for the late reply M. It’s a good sign that he’s looking at you but right now, instead of thinking if you have a chance or not focus on yourself first because after nc, you’ll have less time to do that.

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