What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You On (The Phone, Facebook, WhatsApp, Etc)

2,569 thoughts on “What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You”

Nadia

February 20, 2016 at 7:54 pm

Hi,
Me and my fiancé broke up after a disagreement a month ago. I started no contact 3 weeks ago, never wrote to him at all! I am only posting happy things on fb, and today I posted some nice photos of me and my friends having dinner! Soon as I done my post, I found out that I am blocked on fb and whatsup! what do you think I should do? initiate the contact with a text after week four or wait until he unblock me??
Many thanks
Nadia

Nadia

February 25, 2016 at 1:06 am

Hi Amor,
Thanks for your reply,
I sent him a short message on fb two days ago starting with “guess what…. ” he have seen it but never replied!! I know he is angry and thinking I moved on because I looked happy on myFacebook photos! Now, I’m little confused and don’t know what to expect, but feeling much better, I am kind of used to him not talking to me, only I wish I could know what on his mind!
Nadia

February 21, 2016 at 11:28 pm

Hi Amor, many thanks for your reply.
I am only blocked on WhatsApp, and he only unfriended me on Facebook.
I believe he blocked me because he is frustrated on what he can see on my fb page, and because he blocked me on WhatsApp only few days ago, shall I wait another week before sending the text? Many thanks
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 23, 2016 at 8:34 am

ok wait one more week… of you’re still blocked it’s still ok to try to text him
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 21, 2016 at 11:24 am

Hi Nadia,

would you contact him through text because you’re blocked in whatsapp? If yes then go, but if you’re blocked there too, then of course you have to wait…

Cristal

February 20, 2016 at 3:29 pm

there’s no girl in his life.He doesn’t like anyone. he’s been doing himself too. we broke up in October something 2015 btw. I tried doing the nc ever since, but I failed constantly . until Jan 14.
Natalie

February 19, 2016 at 9:10 am

Will this possibly work on my husband: We married after 8 months of knowing each other we’re about to make 4 years.
He left me for another woman(OW) he’s been sleeping with on / off since 2014 got his own apartment.. I really love him, I want him back.. He says he wants to be friends even “best friends” hang out with me without our kid he NEVER talks about this new girl..

Background:

Out the blue he says I’m DONE, I’m not in love but I’ll always love you, 2 days later he leaves.. Mutual friends show me he’s been SnapChating pictures of him & OW he found out blocked us on SnapChat & FaceBook. I met him at work begged him come home he says no he’s getting a place, then the next day he came to see the baby & said I’m not coming back to move on find another guy.. That Weekend he moved out while I was gone but he still has a lot of stuff at my house (army stuff, electronics, photos, clothes, ect.), he still has his house key and he frequently checks the mail. My mom brought me a TV told me to tell him it was a friend, that upset him, he found me on POF that made him super mad he said I thought you’d never move on I told him I didn’t .. he doesn’t believe me. 2 days later we hung out ALONE at my house (no baby home , he called his new girl petty in relation to something I said about her, huge 4 hour argument about us took place, he left after yelling he REFUSED to love me like a wife, no prayer in the world will bring him home). He saw our daughter a week later, kept staring wanting to know why I didn’t say much & asked to hang out the weekend after the upcoming weekend bowling & a bar (IDK if it’ll happen) when he left he called me babe on accident.. I text him happy valentines day he said same to you, convo started I asked to meet at a bar / Mc Donald’s (he kept touching me, adjusting my clothes, gave me his jacket, walked me to my car, he was very distracted started driving with his headlights off)..

Before I found this site I was always texting & hanging out when he wanted.. This week I ignored his text, he text Wednesday, the convo was more than, hi, how are you, how’s baby, I so ignored him he responds an hour later with aying he’s coming to see baby I didn’t respond, he text me again today said hi, way not text me back, I said my bad.. he said ‘m coming over, came over once again staring, wanting to know what I was doing over the weekend, asking who I was talking to when I laughed wanting to know why I was so quiet. Before he left he covers my face with his hand then asked for a hug…

HELP please IDK what to do or how to do this but if worse situations can get their man back I know you guys can help!

Natalie

February 21, 2016 at 12:25 am

Hi Amor,

I’m so sorry this is going to be REALLY long!

My husband didn’t say I can’t move on here’s the full extended scenario:
He leaves me & baby, he tells me while staying at a friends he’s getting his own place, I get a message from a friend showing pictures where he’s calling the girl t(I’ll refer to her as the OW) he had an off/on cheating thing “bae” on SnapChat (SC) he blocks me and my friend from SC & Facebook (FB).. He added her they went crazy posing all kinds of stuff on there making it obvious they’re together… I tell his mom to pray for us thinking she’d keep it a secret through all our other problems it was always my fault in her eyes… she told the WHOLE family, they’re not happy with him.. He messages me saying way to go everyone is mad, he’s completely done. I meet him at his job, he says he’ll always love me but he’s not in love I know when you fall in love with someone & you still love them, you’re still in love with them.. he doesn’t get it.. anyway he comes over the next day saying he’d never want to touch me or have sleep with me again, move on I’ll find a better guy, I told him I’ll never move on he laughed in my face saying he’s not coming back doesn’t want to be my husband because I’m stagnant with affection we’re like roommates who occasionally sleep together.. That Friday he takes the TV, most of his clothes (he still has his house key & gate key, he left his dress Army uniform, a huge Army tough box and a 5ft long Army duffle bag, all his socks, and PT gear, his night stand is full of his stuff, there’s various items around the house like a boombox that he worshiped). I made a dating profile saying I want a relationship so creeps would be all in my messages..

He comes the next week my mom got me the TV told me say it was from a friend I did, he flipped out saying another good reason we’re not together, you become miss social butterfly when I leave you do this EVERY time, I said we have a lot of problems that can be easily fixed if we talk about it, we can save our marriage we began talking, OW calls, he hurries off the phone, he touches me in my face talking about remember when I was trying to get your attention, hour later says he has to go work but we’ll talk about it, I said come over that night he text me saying he’s too tired but Friday… Well the next day he finds my dating profile he said me a message about the TV.. I wrote back asking what is wrong he just said I’m funny. I called asking what was funny, he had this laugh he gets when he’s upset saying what I say and do don’t always add up but we’d talk Friday. I took my pictures down, he messaged me the next day saying you’re saving all the good pictures I text him asking what was wrong with him.. He said you said you’ll never move on if we divorced look at you your profile said you want a relationship I told him why I did that he said you know they have an option for friends right, I reminded him you know how many men are creeps when you want to be just friends.. He said I don’t believe you, I gave him my password, but he was so upset that he said I don’t trust you when I said I wish I was here to show you my phone messages & my profile, he says the delete button is a thing, I told him I gave you my dating profile login, he asked so are you looking for anyone I said NO but why does it matter when he has OW he said it doesn’t it’s the principal.. He comes that Friday he’s all on his phone texting and laughing so I told him I was going out side he got mad wanted to leave, I told him lets talk about what we had been texting about that went everywhere he said he wanted to keep the baby overnight I told him so long as OW isn’t there he said he’s ok with that.. the night ended with him saying he can’t trust me because of a dating profile & a TV, He refused to love me his heart doesn’t think I’ll change.. he messaged me the next day I cut the conversation short.

Monday he called to let me know our joint account was negative because of my gym membership he was nice and that was the end of conversation.. Tuesday I message him some pictures of the baby he asked to come over I said it depends on the time he poked fun and asked if I had a hot date.. I was stern told him no I already told him that I just didn’t feel like being bothered he said he’d come at 12PM he calls to tell me he has to do something with the army so if he can come Friday. He calls saying there was a change in plans he comes barely plays with the baby staring at me asking why was I so quiet, I told him I’ve told you for years I’m just quiet I don’t have anything to say he asked if I wanted to hangout I said sure you pick when & where because all the times I picked even before now was a disaster or I wasn’t cool enough.. He asked for next Friday to go to a bar maybe bowling I said sure but I didn’t have money he said he gets paid he leaves after a while touches me all in my face says later babe I mean Nat… I went to take out the trash & the baby locks me out so I HAD to call him he comes stays for about 30 minutes touching my shoulders saying it’s ok to get locked out secret is safe with me I told him it happens more often than you think…

I text him Valentines Day he wished me Happy Valentines I asked if he wanted to meet at a bar since his plans never fell through. we went to the bar spent 20 minutes there we brought eachother drinks and he was touching my back then he touched my lower back we talked, then we went to McDonald’s till 3AM during the time at McDonald’s he was adjusting my clothes making a lot of eye contact wanted to know why I was up so late… what’s going on in the world of Donald.. hopefully we can start planning for him to take the baby over the weekend.. he said no one text him anymore his phone is dry (but that’s a lie OW is all over him very clingy).. He said he had to go pick people(AKA OW) up by 4AM.. He walked me to my car gave me his jacket I gave it back he said it was fun see me soon.. He drove off I saw his headlights were off I slowed down for him, he asked what’s up I said headlights, he seemed really distracted.. I Text him told him it was nice hope to have more moments like that he said it was fun hopefully we can.. He text me the next day asking me to give our baby a hug tell her Happy Valentines I sent a ton of pictures & said do it yourself he said he was at the movies. Pictures on SC confirmed he was with OW.. he text Monday thanking me for the pictures.. I didn’t text back Wednesday he text me didn’t ask about the baby I stop texting he then text an hour later saying he’s coming to see the baby.. never wrote back Thursday he text me ends up saying way not to text back said my bad, he said he was coming to see baby.. He comes knocks, make him wait knocks again, I let him in he says way not to text back told him there was nothing to text back to, he said I told you I was enjoying my day off from school I said sorry he said you didn’t even write back about me seeing baby, said my bad I forgot.. His mom calls I tell her he’s there she gets off the phone without telling me tell him hi.. he seems hurt.. he asked what I was doing this weekend (I remembered our plans) but I said relaxing what are you up to he said the same.. looked kind of slighted.. I’m in my phone& FB I laugh out loud he wants to know what’s funny he wants to laugh too I tell him just the way a friend says something.. we make small talk then he has to go several minutes later he touches me in the face AGAIN talking about later face. He says stop being a a punk give me a hug. I get up give him a hug he says we’re supposed to be being cool remember.

Well since I wrote you all on the comments here’s what happened:

I text him at 12AM he writes back like 20 minutes later I played it off saying hi?what’s up? he said you text me I said opps accident he said oh ok I’m just laying down. I made small talk about baby he asked me to text him tomorrow so he doesn’t pass out I said he can text me have a goodnight.. He didn’t text me next day… But I get a message from a mutual friend who ask what I’m doing that weekend becomes super inappropriate he said I’m single the marriage is only paper I reminded him I honor my vows & I’m committed to them the guy hasn’t text me since then him & the girl have slowed down FB thing. IDK if he’s playing mind games or what..
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 21, 2016 at 2:11 pm

Hi Natalie,

seems like he’s testing you through a friend right? It’s good you responded properly.. Your ex has been making moves but observe more.. obviously you’re the right thing right now
Natalie

February 19, 2016 at 7:28 pm

Well the problem is the woman is much bigger, less attractive than me and she’s 2 to 3 years younger with with no car still working in fast food. I’m always with my hair and nails done and I don’t need make up but IDK what should I do about the no contact rule?
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 20, 2016 at 8:24 am

I don’t see her looks being problem.. wouldn’t that be plus to you because you look better? The thing is, you have to make him see yiur standards.. actually I don’t that he says you can’t move on and yet he has a girlfriend.. For me, it’s either he steps up to prove to you that he loves you or you just remain civil for the child..
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 19, 2016 at 11:22 am

Hi Natalie,

I think he’s starting to miss you..keep at it and don’t be intimate for now..if he comes over for the baby, let them be for a while.. amybe go the other room and do something else.. improve yourself too, especially physically

SLS

February 14, 2016 at 11:52 pm

My boyfriend and I broke up mid January after an argument. Since then I have been texting and calling him NONSTOP as a way to “win him back.” He ended up blocking my number early last week. I haven’t attempted to contact him since then, and after reading this site, I don’t plan to try until mid March. At this point should I even still try?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 16, 2016 at 5:31 am

Hi Sls,
it’s better to try rather than regret not trying
SLS

February 15, 2016 at 1:21 am

He said he’s willing to talk about our situation, but he doesn’t want to do so until he’s ready. Should the NC rule still apply if he contacts me before then to talk?
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 16, 2016 at 5:39 am

actually that’s even better.. at least he knows you’re really giving him space

S

February 14, 2016 at 5:08 pm

Hi Chris and Amor,

I’m feeling very confused and disheartened about my situation, and while I bought the Pro book and am reading articles on the site, I was hoping I could reach out here to get some personal insight on my situation. I’m sorry for the long story, I knkw you find those overemotional and pathetic, but I’m not sure which details are important for you to know and which ones can be left out, so I’m just including as much as I can think of to give you the clearest picture of what happened.

My ex boyfriend and I had been dating for 5.5 years when he suddenly broke up with me about 2.5 weeks ago, 2 days before I was set to leave our state for 4 months on an internship in another state (same coast but far away). We have been NC since the breakup, I’m coming up on the 3 week mark and have been planning to go 30 days, unless you advise something different after hearing my story. It has been very hard because I miss him and am very sad and want nothing more than to talk to him, but I have been strong and not contacted him or his family, other than wishing his twin sister (and not him) a happy birthday on facebook during the first week of NC. I’m hoping that this breakup was a huge impulsive panicked mistake and that the time apart while I’m here for my internship will act as a reset button and that he’ll want to get back together once I return home this summer. But I’m getting increasingly worried that whether it was a mistake or not, he won’t initiate us getting back together or won’t want to get back together (he hasn’t made any effort to contact me so far during no contact and in fact, he went in the opposite direction, as you’ll see in my story below) so I’m feeling discouraged and that’s why I want your opinion on the situation.

Before the breakup, we had plans for him (and for at least one of the visits, for his family also) to come visit me multiple times during my internship while I was away, we had been talking about finally moving in together when I got back from my internship, and we had just adopted a puppy together a few months earlier, and we’ve often discussed marriage and a family and such in the future. I am incredibly close to his extended family, always spending holidays with them, babysitting his younger siblings with him, and attending nearly every family event and vacation.

On the night of the breakup, we had gone out to dinner and played (and won/had a good time at) a trivia night at the restaurant and made plans to come back to future trivia nights there once I get back from my internship. We were supposed to go to a concert together the next night, and he said that if we went he’d be on call for work and we might have to leave early if he got called in. I got disappointed and asked if it would be drivable for me to go alone, because the concert was important to me and I didn’t want to miss it. Right about then we arrived at my house for him to drop me off, and as we sat in the car he started saying that I deserved someone who wouldn’t let me down for things like this, and that he wasn’t happy anymore/didn’t have feelings for me anymore, and asking me if I was happy and saying that he wanted to break up.

He put his foot down and said we were broken up and he couldn’t take it back. I have had health problems over the course of the last year that have made it nearly impossible to have sex (we’ve done it maybe once a month if lucky and even then it was scheduled and complicated) so I think that eroded our intimacy/attraction some, but since I was getting healthier, I was attempting to reignite our sex life, but we broke up before that got off the ground. He said that he wasn’t mad about not having sex/that he understood and that wasn’t why we were breaking up (though he did say he thought that the attraction being gone made it harder to get in the mood). He also said he still loved me as a person and he didn’t want me completely gone from my life, and promised he would talk to me again (but that he didn’t know when because he wanted me to be able to move on). He said he felt guilty about doing this so long into our relationship and he was sorry for bottling things up, but he was worried that if we didnt breakup now, we might do it when I got back from the internship or 2 yars down the line, or some other time. He said that he wouldn’t be actively looking to date someone else, there wasn’t someone else he had in mind, but that he needed space to figure out who he was because he didn’t know who he was or what he wanted. He said he didn’t know what pure love was (we were each others only long term serious relatonship) and that he wasn’t sure if that was what we had or not. He also said that it’s his own fault for being unable to commit to anything (this is a pattern throughout his life, where not only could he not commit to things with me like vacations or even a date plan at the end of the week without some discomfort, though he would ultimately do it and thank me for convincing him/say I was right and that he didn’t know why he resisted committing to it, but he would also have trouble committing to a job, often quitting and finding a new one soon after starting, etc. ) and that he didn’t want to be locked into living in a certain place we had planned on living in. When I said that didn’t matter to me and we could talk about living somewhere else, he got defensive and frustrated and said that he didn’t want me to settle or change where I wanted to live or work because of him. I tried to explain that I wasn’t settling, that I’d find something I liked that would also work with where he wanted to live, but he wouldn’t hear it. I think part of this issue with committing and feeling unhappy and whatnot is largely to do with the fact that he’s currently working over 40 hour weeks at two jobs he hates and was debating quitting (for at least one) because he felt that they were stressing him out and taking a toll on/taking time away from his relationships with his family and myself, and he also felt he was in effectively caring for our puppy, who is frustrating as well because she has behavior issues. He ended up not quitting the jobs before the breakup, but I’m wondering if he panicked and pushed me away instead (hoping he’d feel better) of quitting one of the jobs. He is also applying to grad school to start in the summer, which is stressing him out, and trying to figure out what he wants to do with his life. He hasn’t been himself lately, and I can tell that all of this has made him very depressed and anxious. In fact during the breakup he said one of the other reasons he wanted to break up is that he was so depressed he was occasionally thinking of “how to end it” and that he wouldn’t want me to still be too attached to him if that happened. Abd that he wanted to quit his jobs and give the dog away and just lay in bed forever, if he could. However he immediately took it all back and said he didn’t know why he even said that–but I think that might be what is at the root of everything, I don’t know.

He kept saying I had to go on my internship because there was opportunity there, and that love would find me again, and that he didn’t want me to give up on life and that I should keep seeing my therapist (I have anxiety and depression that I’ve been working on and getting better with for years) despite the break up. In the moment, I said a lot of things I regret (not because they were bridge burning, but because I think they made me seem pathetic–things like begging him not to do this and that I loved him and didn’t know what I would do without him, I didnt even want to go on the internship anymore because I couldnt do it and I might as well just stay home, theres no point to trying because Im a terrble person and will never be happy, etc.). He also seemed to get frustrated and say that one of the issues was I needed to be able to be ok on my own without him and that he could never tell if I had learned that I’m not a terribke person because even after reassuring me I wasn’t, later down the line he’d hear me say I was again, at times when my depression came out. But he offered to walk me to my door and hugged me/kissed me goodbye. He also felt really bad/sad when I said I was upset I didn’t get to say goodbye to his family or our puppy, and he promised me that when (if? I can’t remember if he said when or if) his family comes down as they has planned to see me, they would still come find me and spend time with me down here. And he once again promised he would talk to me when he felt better and when I asked him if he changed his mind and wanted to get back together, he would tell me and not let fear/prode/stubbornness or anything get in the way, he said he would, but that he didn’t know what the future held and so he couldn’t promise whether he would change his mind (but he didn’t outright say there was no chance either).

As I said, we have been NC since then. I didn’t once contact him after we broke up and he left me standing on my porch. I did go to my internship, but at first did not post on social media whether or not I went or post any pictures (I have started postng pictures now) because I wanted him to wonder, and then be surprised when he saw I went and was doing well. I’ve had really bad days where I’ve sat home and cried but I’m making the effort to have good days as well, going out and looking nice with new friends from my internship, working hard at the job, exercising when I can, and even flirting with a guy down here because I know it’s important to try and go on a date or two during NC (though that seems to not be panning out, unfortunately). The problem is, despite my efforts, I don’t really feel better, because some days (like today) I’ll have a backside and be really depressed and insecure and miss him again, which makes me scared that even after the 30 days NC I’d be too pathetic/not “ungettable” enough to get him back.

The biggest thing that has me concerned about whether or not NC will work or if I have any chance at getting back together with him is that, immediately after the breakup, I thought he blocked me on Facebook, but I felt reassured when it turned out he hadn’t blocked me, he had just deactivated it! When he reactivated it, we were still friends and it still said that he was in a relationship with me. I’m also still Facebook friends with his twin sister. However, after abut a week, I noticed him change his status to single, change how his facebook name and profile picture looked, and then he blocked me on Facebook moments later. This time I confirmed that it was a block and not deactivating his whole profile. That was devestating, especially since I’ve been amazing with NC, and no I’m doubting everything he said about staying in each others lives and talking again and his family and him coming to see me, and I feel like there’s no chance NC will work or we will get back together because apparently he doesn’t want to talk to me or think about me. I’m afraid he wont want me back and will ignore me once NC ends and I try to text him, or worse, that he blocked my number as well. Because I’m still in NC, I have no way of testing whether he blocked my phone number, because I would have to break NC to text him.

I don’t know what to do. Have I been handling it correctly so far? What should my next steps be/hoe should I handle it going forward? Is there any decent chance at all that NC will still work and he could still want to get back together with me, or is the fact that he blocked me (despite me being NC the whole time and never gnatting him or trying to manipulate him post break up and neither of us dating anyone new yet, as far as I know) such a bad sign that I should give up all hope? Should I contact his twin sister (who is still facebook friends with me despite him blocking me and changing his status to single) and ask her what she/the family thinks his feelings are before I try contacting him at the end of NC or would initially going around him just make it worse?

I have no idea what to do and this whole thing has me feeling so upset and lost. Please give me any support/advice/guidance that you can. Thank you so much for your time and assistance!

S

March 9, 2016 at 3:59 pm

OK, got it. Thanks for all your help Amor, I really appreciate it! I’ll probably come back to this thread to discuss it more with you as my new NC comes to an end and I try to determine what my next steps should be.

I do have one last quick question, just in case–if I plan on doing 45 days NC as you reccommend, but it starts working early (since I had already gone so long NC and haven’t been bothering him other than that one text) and he contacts me first, could I end this NC early and start trying to build rapport through texts, rather than going the full 45 (or a total of 81) days? Please let me know when you get a chance. Thanks!
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 9, 2016 at 9:13 pm

yep! but go at it slowly..
S

March 8, 2016 at 4:16 pm

Hi Amor,

Thanks again for your help and for getting back to me so quickly!

Just to make sure we’re on the same page, you think I should do an additional 45 days of NC (starting the day after I texted him last, I’m assuming) despite having already gone 36 days of NC before the first time I tried contacting him? I just want to make sure I’m understanding you correctly, because if I go another 45 days NC, then I will have gone a total of 81 days NC, and I know Chris talks about wanting to make contact before 66 days because it takes 66 days to break a habit and at that point my ex might stop thinking about me/might be over me and I might not be able to get him back. Is that the case in this situation, and if so, would it be better to contact my ex before the 6th day? Or should I go 45 days/a total of 81 days anyway and it will be fine?

On a related note, if I contact him in less than 45 days, should I ask him/mention about his family’s planned trip to my area when I talk to him, to see if we can initiate some in person contact? I believe their trip (if they are still coming) is set to happen in about 2.5 or 3 weeks, and supposedly, they were still going to come see me and spend time with me despite the breakup. Of course I haven’t spoken to my ex since the breakup so I don’t know if or how that’s happening, and that’s why I don’t know if I should wait 2 or 3 weeks of NC since I texted him last and then text him, to see if we can make the get together still happen or at least start texting again, or if it would be better to wait 45 days as you suggest. Also in the Pro book, I it suggested waiting 2 weeks of NC before trying contact again if your ex ignores your first text after NC, so that made me think maybe 2 or 3 weeks would be fine. BUT I didn’t know if maybe the reason you suggested waiting 45 days versus just waiting 2 weeks was because my ex had also blocked me on Facebook, which I imagine could make my situation different from the situation described in the Pro book. Would you please let me know what you think is best when you get a chance?

And I understand about not talking to his sister about him! I haven’t talked to anyone in his family during this NC/post-break up process other than wishing his sister a happy birthday (not mentioning my ex), so I think I’m doing fine so far. I just won’t contact her to talk about him.

I will also try to keep doing what I’m doing: keeping as busy as possibe with work and friends, exercising, dressing up when I can, posting pictures and statuses about work and the things that I’m doing/friends I’m making down here, etc., and hopefully he will unblock me on Facebook so he can see me moving on (without moving on) and start to miss me, like you said.

Thanks for your advice and I hope to talk to you soon!
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 9, 2016 at 11:43 am

yes, it’s because he blocked you… the thing about 66 days and now that you’re going for 81 days is that, if at first try he thought you have moved on..that’s goodbut because now he knows you still want him and basically got annoyed that you’re chasing him.. he’s not thinking about you in terms of missing, he’s just annoyed.. So, we want him to relax and trust you again
S

March 6, 2016 at 3:21 pm

Hi Amor,

Thanks for your prompt reply. That all makes sense.

Just to clarify though, do you mean I should stop right now (for instance, the Pro system book says if you get no response, then you should just not reply to your failed text message, and go back into NC for a period of time, and then you can try texting him again to see if he’s ready/receptive to talk to you yet)? And if so, how long should I go NC before I try texting him again, and what should I text him (since that attempt would have to be something different than what I texted him this time)? OR do you mean that I should stop trying forever and that I have no chance of getting him back? Because I just feel like I haven’t done everything that I could yet, if that makes sense, and I don’t want to give up too soon.

Also, do you think that if I go back into NC, there’s any chance of hum coming around on his own and him initiating contact with me because he realizes he misses me? Or should I not hold out hope of that happening?

Thank you again for all your help, and talk to you soon!
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 7, 2016 at 2:05 pm

You can try nc again, I think you should go for 45 days, and don’t talk to his sister about him.. move on without moving on.. He has to see that you’re moving on, so there’s a chance that he will miss you because if he has an inkling of knowledge that you still liking him, he will perceive your text after nc as chasing him again.
S

March 5, 2016 at 4:54 pm

Hi Amor,

Well I texted him yesterday afternoon (I used a variation of the “I have a confession..” text, I said “So you’ll never guess what I did the other day…” and once he responded I was goin to tell him about something impressive/surprising that I did and connect it to a happy memory he and I shared), but he still hasn’t responded. Does this, coupled with everything I’ve told you in my story so far, mean I have no chance with him and he’s never going to talk to me again? I’m really scared and sad/disheartened about that being the case, but I’m also still hoping there’s something I can do to prevent that from happening. I don’t know. Do you have any insight or advice on the situation or what the most successful course of action is from here?

And also, I know you said you couldn’t address everything in my last post, but based on what happened with my texting attempt, could you maybe at least address the most pertinent questions from my last post? Which to me, were:

-I know you said not to go around and talk to his family because it might annoy him. Since he seems to be ignoring me even after I reached out after the NC, should I talk to his twin sister if I can’t get a hold of him, which will hopefully initiate him reaching out to me (as opposed to annoying him like you think it might)?

-When I contact him next (or when I contact his sister if that’s the route you think I should take), should I ask if he and his family are still planning their trip down to visit the area I’m in for my internship, and if so, should I initiate trying to spend time with them (and/or with him alone) when they’re down here? Or should I ask if they’re coming but let him initiate us getting together or something? I’m not sure the best approach to that issue, but I don’t want to waste an opportunity to see and talk to him/them in person, if it makes sense to use it.

-Is it worth trying to get him back, or will he come back just because he misses me, but then freak out and be overwhelmed again somewhere down the line and do the same thing again and break up with me, leaving me even more hurt than I am now? I don’t want to make a stupid decision that makes everything worse, but I also don’t want to give up on him if it was a good chance of working out because I love him so much and think he could be the one, if he doesn’t freak out again. One reason I’m concerned about him freaking out again is because during the break up, one thing he said is that if we didnt breakup now, we might later, whether it was when I got home from my internship, or two years down the line, or some other time. Is that a huge red flag that this won’t work out?

I tried to narrow down my questions as much as I could and I really need some support and guidance with this process so I hope you’re able to help! I really appreciate any time and assistance you’re able to give. Thank you!
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 6, 2016 at 6:24 am

actually if he’s not replying that means you have to stop.. because you’re chasing him.. and contacting any of his relatives will just confirm that.. place yourself in his position, you don’t want to reply, and then your sister comes to talk to you about that, would’nt it be annoying?

I know it hurts, but it’s better to save your dignity than chase him when he’s clearly avoiding you.. The good thing though is you won’t have regrets because you did everything you can..

as per his idea of breaking up down the line, yes that’s a red flag because he shouldn’t even be thinking about that…
S

March 1, 2016 at 1:34 pm

Hi Amor,

Sorry for the delayed response, my work schedule with this internship has been insane (and I’ve also been trying to continue going out with friends and doing other self-improvement things that the Pro system suggests) so this is the first free time I’ve had to get back to you. I hope you’re still willing to help me even though it’s been a while since we last spoke!

I’m replying to respond to your questions for me, and also to check in with you about a couple things you missed, as you suggested.

First, my ex and I have officially gone 34 days NC since we broke up. Should I proceed to contact him now? Or based on my situation (with him blocking me I’m very scared about whether or not NC will work at all or if I have no chance of getting him back) should I wait for 45 days of NC? Or longer even? Do I need to wait until he unblock me on Facebook, for instance, or should I try and contact him via text since it’s been over 30 days?

Also, is it worth me trying to contact him/get him back at all? Or based on my story, is it a lost cause/do I have a 0% chance (or a very small chance) of getting him back? Does the fact thay he blocked me and hasnt unblocked me after about 1.5 or 2 weeks mean that he nevee wants to talk to/see me again and I have no chance of getting hin back? Or will the physical distance between us and the fact that I used NC very successfully and the fact that we dated for 5.5 years help make the NC work so that I can get him back?

Second, in response to your questions:

-I’m not sure I understand your comment about “he sticks to his decision even if he doesn’t feel like it”. If you’re asking me if he’s stubborn, yes, he is very stubborn, and that’s one of the reasons I’m afraid the NC and my texting campaign, if I’m supposed to start one, won’t change his mind and make him want to get back together :/

-Yes he is an introvert! Very much so. And on top of that, like I said, he seems to be very stressed/depressed right now. But do you think that is the reason he blocked me and has not initiated contact during my NC? Or did he block me because he really doesn’t love me anymore and never wants to talk to me again? Will the fact that he’s an introvert and didn’t contact me be a problem (like will he not respond to my attempts to contact him either)?

-I agree about the NC giving him time to reflect and about him being overwhelmed with everything and that maybe being the reason he broke up with me. But do you think that that means that I have a good chance of getting him back with the NC and everything? Or will it not matter that I went NC because he’s probably still overwhelmed and maybe feels less stressed without me around? Again, what are my chances of this working and is it even worth trying to reach out to him, or will that just make things worse and ruin my chances of getting him back?

Finally, other questions I had/some of which you missed from my last post, because it was so long and it was easy to miss parts of it:

-I know you said not to go around and talk to his family because it might annoy him. Is this true even if he ignores me when I reach out to him once I end the NC, or should I talk to his twin sister if I can’t get a hold of him, which will hopefully initiate him reaching out to me (as opposed to annoying him)?

-When I end NC and contact him, should I ask if he and his family are still planning their trip down to visit the area I’m in for my jnternship, and if so, should I initiate trying to spend time with them (and/or with him alone) when they’re down here? Or should I ask if they’re coming but let him initiate us getting together or maybe ask if they’re coming in our initial conversations but wait until it gets closer to initiate us getting together while they’re here, or…? Not sure the best approach to that issue.

-Do you think, based on my story, that breaking up with me is something he had been thinking about/wanting to do for a long time and he really doesn’t love me anymore and isn’t attracted to me, and won’t want to get back together even though we VERY recently got a puppy and we’re discussing moving in together when I got home and our future? If he isn’t in love with me or attracted to me anymore, do I have any chance of reversing that, or is it a lost cause? OR do you think that, rather than him really not loving me anymore, this whole breakup was just an impulsive decision he made because he was overwhelmed with everything in his life and was uncertain what he wanted, and as such, we have a good chance of reconciling? I don’t want to get my hopes up because I’m scared I have no chance, but I don’t know what your opinion is based on everything I told you in my last post.

-Is it worth trying to get him back, or will he come back just because he misses me, but then freak out and be overwhelmed again somewhere down the line and do the same thing again and break up with me, leaving me even more hurt than I am now? I don’t want to make a stupid decision that makes everything worse, but I also don’t want to give up on him if it was a good chance of working out because I love him so much and think he could be the one, if he doesn’t freak out again. One reason I’m concerned about him freaking out again is because during the break up, one thing he said is that if we didnt breakup now, we might later, whether it was when I got home from my internship, or two years down the line, or some other time. Is that a huge red flag that this won’t work out?

-Additionally, he said he needed space to figure himself out, what he wanted with life, to make himself feel better, etc. Did I give him enough space with the NC, or do I need to wait longer to contact him/to give him more space? Is the fact that I’m still blocked on facebook a sign that he needs more space, or is it just something he did to help support the decision he made to break up (because he’s stubborn, not necessarily because his heart was in it)? On a related note, when we broke up and he said we’d still talk and stay in each others lives an all, was he lying? Because the fact that he blocked me on facebook is making me feel like he never wants to talk to me again.

-Did I ruin my chances of us getting back together by saying some needy/pathetic things during the breakup? Or will the NC help cancel out the fact that I said those things?

-With all I’ve been doing during the NC, I am starting to feel a little better/more confident, but I definitely still have a good amount of sad/insecure days–does that mean I’m not “ungettable” enough for this to work?

I’m sorry I have so many questions, and I appreciate any help or support you’re able to provide as I move into the next steps of trying to get him back, now that my 30 days of NC are up (unless you think I need to stay NC a little longer!). I hope to hear back from you soon!

Thanks Amor!

Shannon
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 1, 2016 at 4:43 pm

Hi Shannon,

I read everything 🙂 But I can’t address everything because you’re overthinking..First, it’s okay to still feel sad.. You’re human..that’s part of the process..

Second.. you have to try to text first and choose the best text you can send, and then we’ll see it from there..
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 15, 2016 at 12:27 pm

Hi S,

Firat, we don’t think you’re pathetic..we understand and appreciate that you tried to put in as much for us.. So, thank you.

I’d try to address your concerns one by one..tell me if I missed something..

Don’t go around his relatives, it might make him annoyed.
I think he blocked you so, that he couldn’t see your updates for the mean time, but I din’t think that means he has moved on already..

From your story, you said you had to convince him to go out sometimes right? So, that means he sticks to his decision even if he doesn’t feel like it? Is he also an introvert? Because that can also be the reason why he hasn’t contacted yet…

Though I can’t guarantee you will get him back because of nc, I think it can give him time to reflect and also it seems like he broke up with you because he’s overwhelmed with everything that’s happening all at once in his life..
actually I also think the dog just reflect your energies..

CHRISTINE

February 13, 2016 at 10:12 pm

Hi
I Wanna ask you a question
How can I text him if he still blocked me at everything, though Facebook , though phone … Etc?
And I’m afraid to do it because maybe he will not respond…
What do you think ?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 14, 2016 at 6:01 am

Hi Christine,

that means you have to wait until you’re unblocked

Eric

February 13, 2016 at 12:57 pm

Hi,

I have been dating this guy for a few months and it was great. He is somewhat famous, older and very attractive and we met through friends of friends. It all started very heavy and we were sleeping with each other every day for a few weeks. He was constantly calling me, texting, face time, etc… even when he was away traveling. I met some members of his family and many of his friends and he even made sure that I stopped dating another person I was dating when I was with him. He took me on a trip with some of his friends over the holidays and then when we were there we had an argument about stupid things and I left early and when he came back the relationship was a bit more distant. Keep in mind he was saying we were together to people when we were on vacation and he never had that conversation. I also became more distant as a result and he called one one night stating he was depressed and wanted me to come over, but I was out with friends and he texted me saying not to worry about it and he would see me the next day. I called him the next day and he said it was just a moment and he invited me to go out with him that day – but in a very rude tone and I perceived him as just blowing me off – Two days later I went to see him at his place and confronted him about it about 1 hour into our visit and I went kind of crazy saying like “should I expect this kind of behavior in the future, I will not be talked to by anyone in that manner, etc..” and he said I was reading him completely wrong and I apologized. It has not been the same since. I asked to hang out with him that weekend and he said yes if there was no drama and I said of course and then he did not follow up. Then I texted him stating that the only reason I was mad at him was from a miscommunication between us and he said that he didnt understand and that if I was mad I should have brought it up at that moment and that he was still very shaken about the argument. I don’t like to talk via text or on the phone about those things so I obviously waited to do it in person. He was flying out internationally for a few weeks after that and said he would let me know the date he was flying out that week – since there was a storm coming – and he flew out that week and said he was coming back on X date and would see me then. That date was one week ago and he has not contacted me at all. He has posted pictures on social media stating that he misses X place where we were on vacation. I have posted pictures on social media since during the three weeks he has been away, I have gotten into amazing shape and been hanging out with friends. – I stopped drinking while with him and now I started again and he clearly knows that – Last night I found out he blocked me on facebook and I don’t know if I should contact him. I contacted him before and found out he was going away and we made plans to meet up this week, only because I contacted him.. but those plans obviously didn’t come through. The last time I texted him was 14 days ago, and the last time he texted me was 14 days ago as well. I am infatuated with him and could definitely see something but I honestly feel concerned that instead of putting effort and communication into finding out with I was so upset an where the miscommunication occurred – I WAS falling in love with him and was probably getting a little needy, but never showed it until then with that blast out -. But I believe he is used to people reaching out to him… and so am I. I’m not sure to take the facebook block as flattery or a very bad sign, or both. Yesterday was the first day I started getting over him and not thinking about him ALL the time. I just want another perspective on the situation since I honestly am not sure where to begin. I am sure he would answer my text, but I don’t know where to go from there.

Eric

February 13, 2016 at 4:36 pm

I’ve been in a non broken NC for 14 days. I was in one before for a week and I texted him then broke it.
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 14, 2016 at 4:49 am

Oh Okay, that’s good.. that means next step is texting… you have to start with interesting texts for him, because you have to rebuild connection. Don’t ask about getting back together nor talk about your feelings..
Treat it like you’re trying to get him hooked to you..
Check this post out to help you what and how to text.
Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)
Eric

February 13, 2016 at 1:05 pm

Sorry.. important to note that I posted pictures of my body progress, which is the best shape I have ever been in, the same day he blocked me.
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 13, 2016 at 1:56 pm

HI Eric,

Just want to make it clear, You’re in nc now and you’re concern is how to initiate contact?
Eric

February 13, 2016 at 1:00 pm

BTW he said during out fight that he was mad I did not come over when he was depressed and I said that I am not a mind reader.

CHRISTINE

February 13, 2016 at 3:14 am

Hello Chris
I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years & everything was alright but don’t know what happening! Just everything changes and he told me that he doesn’t have feelings towards me and after that he broke up with me . I tried to do everything just to get him back but I failed. After that he blocked me at everything though Facebook, though phone etc… and that the worst thing .

I started with the No contact rule and now I finished 28 days of it but he doesn’t contact me during these days .
After I completed my NC rule what type of massages should I send to him ? And do you think that the NC rule will work out?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 13, 2016 at 1:18 pm

Hi Christine,

We can’t guarantee that it will get him back for sure but it can increase your chances because you get a rest from each other..

Think of something interesting for him, or you could click Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules) for reference

Mia

February 11, 2016 at 9:23 am

Hi Chris,

My bf and I were dating for almost 7 years (we would have completed 7 years this year). We have had our ups and downs but always overcame our issues. We broke up about 6 months ago due to some issues but we did get back again and the NC did work then.

My bf had to move back to his native country as he could not get his visa renewed. He was working on things to come back. But recently he messaged me saying that he isn’t coming back and that nothing is really working out with his visa. He has decided to stay back there and therefore nothing would work out between us and that we need to let go and move on. He said this is the only option and is for our betterment. Saying that he blocked me from everywhere. Whatsapp, Skype, Snapchat and Instagram. he says he does not wan to get weak therefore did so.

I haven’t spoken to him after the break up as I am doing the NC thing again. Its been a week. But my concern is will the NC actually work this time? Taking into consideration that he is in a new place and is a fresh start for him. He can easily move on. I am worried he will actually not contact me or respond to me after the NC period. He flushed 7 years just like that down the drain.

Please do respond to me as I am in desperate need of help.

-Concerned

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 11, 2016 at 1:08 pm

Hi Mia,

As of now, the best thing to do is wait for him to unblock you and during that focus kn yourself again

Kristin

February 10, 2016 at 11:56 pm

My ex BF got very angry with me last Friday, I had left him a voice message in FB messenger talking about a date I had with an old BF from HS 30 years ago, he immediately came on and messaged saying I better hang on to him because he was unfriending me on FB, so I called him and he answered and we fought for over an hour, and while on the phone he started reading the instructions on FB that you read when blocking someone, he delighted in doing it, and then proceeded to block my texts and phone. Can’t tell if he blocked emails. He has never done this before, we have been on and off again for 3 years. I mailed him a letter but going NC now and hoping he will cool down and unblock me. This man is 61 YO!!! And he is very sensitive and has a hot temper, we almost got bac together during summer but I wasn’t ready and I think he resents me for it.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 11, 2016 at 12:07 pm

Resent is a big word.. If that is ao, talk about it when you get back together

Dora

February 10, 2016 at 2:58 pm

Your Website is SO insightful. Thank you so so much. Please could you give me advice?

My Ex broke up with me a few times already and always seems to come back or contact me in less than a month…

He is on serious Anti-depressants and have bad anxiety. He left me again…. I don’t know if he will come back again

But seeing his pattern, chances are semi-good. He did not treat me too well, and he swore at me when we spoke yesterday, then

He phones me back saying sorry for being ugly, then saying “I didn’t mean to step down to your level”. I told him to go see if the grass

Is greener on the other side, he said don’t worry it is!!. He is seeing a therapist as he does not know what he wants?? And he

Says he does not know if he is true to himself? (I don’t know what this means). I’ve started NC today and I know deep down he is a great guy.

We did not fight often, the fights was mainly about him feeling anxious and then leaving the relationship. **I was a text/call gnat. But now going

Straight NC. Please advise?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 11, 2016 at 10:35 am

Hi DORA,

thanks for appreciating!
On your concern, honestly, the cycle will only stop if you stop it. You have to set your standards and be firm. Don’t talk to him like he does even if you’re mad because he’ll probably use that as an excuse.

Karen

February 7, 2016 at 3:54 pm

Chris please help. My boyfriend of 3months dumped me yesterday for a reason he couldn’t explain, a “thing” which didn’t exist between us, but he said it wasn’t about sexual attraction (that side of things seemed great) or something I’d done. I was so hurt and confused that I sent him a horrible message accusing him of manipulating me into opening my heart for him, (by telling me about his struggle against depression) very early on in the relationship when it turns out there was “nothing there” on his side. He got angry and instantly blocked all forms of contact. I felt so bad for what I’d written that I went to his house the next morning and posted in a written apology. Was this a bad move? What do you think he is feeling towards me now? I’m so upset, it was such an out of the blue shock.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 7, 2016 at 6:31 pm

Hi Karen,

You’ve done the work of trying to fix things, so I think now is the time to just give him space. Most of the time other get unblocked after 2-3 weeks of being silent,

A

February 6, 2016 at 9:47 pm

Hey guys!! Thanks for the awesome article! I bought you’re ebook about three months ago when my bf and I were going through a rocky patch. We technically weren’t even dating. We met and both fell instantly for each other about two months before I bought your ebook. He moved super fast! Telling me that he wished he had met me in high school and wanted to have kids with me…..this was only the third date. Needless to say, I FREAKED. But honestly, I was head over heels for him too. Sadly, I have had some major trauma from childhood and from past relationships. I became a text message gnat. When he wouldn’t text back right away or want to spend time with me, I would become super emotional. After two different times of me literally letting my past get to me and me freaking out and saying horrible things, I went to therapy and he suggested that we just be friends and after I can see that he truly cared for me and that I could trust myself, we would try again. I went to therapy and our “friendship” proceeded the same way our relationship did, nothing changed. The only thing that did change was that I started trusting him and was slowly learning to just relax. But, I relapsed. After I freaked out about a small thing, I lied to him and told him that I had been asked on a date and wanted to know what our relationship was. STUPID!! I was being manipulative. He was hurt and suggested that we take a break so that I can figure out what I want. I said that I didn’t want a break. He kept kinda pushing for a break. I flipped and said, “So that’s it? We just never talk to each other again!?!” Yup.I’m cray cray. He just mentioned a break not never talking again. He said that I sure was acting that way, that I wanted to break up. Anyway, to cut this long post short, we quit talking that night. I went NC for about two weeks, then tried to call him. His female roommate answered (I maybe dumb but not stupid. I met the 50 something year old lady quite a few times and I know it was her. I mean…. Come on.) She said I had the wrong number. That night, he blocked me on Facebook. It was a bummer. A big bummer. But, I’ve gone totally no contact. Actually, I’m on the sixth week of NC. I know you suggest only 30 days, but if this is to work, I have to love myself, get my ptsd under control, and become the untestable girl I deserve to be. My therapist, who along with being an amazing ptsd specialist, is also an amazing relationships counsellor. She has suggested getting great with myself and then reaching out to him. This isn’t going to happen overnight. It is going to take time. So, my question is…….drumroll…….. In your opinion, did he block me because he was hurt and didn’t want to be hurt anymore? AND, is it ok to go way over the 30 days? My thinking is, I don’t NEED him, but I love him and it would sure be a plus if we got back together and made sweet sweet love and had gorgeous babies and lived happily ever after. But, there’s a good chance that won’t happen. I want to be in a place where I can walk away without being crushed too much and if we try again, I will be in a place where I can give him room to do what makes him happy. That’s real love. So, sorry for this super duper long post!!!! Your book has definitely taught a lot about self esteem and loving myself. I it suggest to ALL girls, not just the relationally impaired. To all you folks out there that are stuggling with singleness, hang in there! It sucks, but it’s not the end of the world. Love yourselves!!!!! Thanks Chris!!

A

February 8, 2016 at 11:35 pm

Hey Amor!

He hasn’t unblocked me yet, which is a super bummer!! Ick!

And just to clarify……you think he blocked me because I called him?
Thanks for the quick answer!!!!
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 9, 2016 at 10:29 am

honestly I’m not sure because it’s been two weeks since you last talked before he blocked you
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 7, 2016 at 4:12 pm

Hi A,

YOu made me smile! I get a feeling you’re funny in person too! He blocked you on facebook after you called right? I think that’s the reason. And about the length of no contact, other actually recommend 60-90 days, the reason why we prefer 21, 30 or 45 days is because it’s below the number of days to make or break a habit which is 66 days.

Okay, so you went over 66 or you’re close to 66 days, that doesn’t mean he forgot you already, that only means, he may be out of the habit of thinking about you everyday. So, you still have a chance. The good thing about that is that his negative emotions maybe gone as well.

Has he unblocked you now?

Melissa

February 6, 2016 at 12:21 am

No caption was added to the picture. Just a smiley face emoji
Melissa

February 5, 2016 at 1:25 am

Hello Chris/Amor,
i apologize in advanced if this comment is a little long. My ex and I broke up around 5 weeks ago. me and my ex were on a date having drinks, after dropping me off home, he was arrested for DUI. Long story short, after this event, he was very distant from me and not being himself which as a result caused an argument. During the argument he was being distant and wasn’t really fighting back or trying to make amends with me. Out of anger I broke up with him through text and got no response from him. A few days later i made the mistake of becoming a “gnat” I tried apologizing and telling him I loved him and that we could get through this. He didn’t respond and I kept blowing up his phone until he angrily replied saying ” At this point now, I dont want to be with you but that doesn’t matter because you made it clear that we were over” The day after he sent me this I began no contact and took him off social media. 3 and a half weeks into NC I had changed my hair, lost weight, and was feeling good so we added each other back on social media and would religiously watch each others snapchat stories as well as like each others pictures. About 4 days later, i uploaded a picture of the “new me” shortly after uploading the picture he unfriended me from all social media. Of course i was left extremely heartbroken. I have 2 questions. First one is, why would he do this? Second one is, what should i do in this situation? Of course i want him back and would like to make things work. P.S No contact is now complete, he never reached out to me during the 30 days and I never reached out to him.

Melissa

February 6, 2016 at 12:22 am

No caption was added to the picture. Just a smiley face emoji
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 6, 2016 at 2:28 pm

Hmm, but you were liking each others posts before that photo post. I don’t think he was offended by it, maybe he’s not ready yet. Sometimes some of the commenters say their exes unfriend them because it hurts the ex to see their photos.
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 5, 2016 at 10:17 am

Hi Melissa,

was there a caption in the picture you posted?

Pearl

February 4, 2016 at 2:49 pm

Hi Chris and Amor,
I have the book and also became fan of your website lately. I have a confusing situation here. I have been dating this guy for 7 months. We are both in our 40s and both pending for our divorce to be final. We met when we both filed divorce, so we started as casual relationship and it became serious as we exchanged love words every day. We spent a lot of nice time together including going aways to his mountain house a couple of days per trip. We date normally and exchanged expensive gift for Xmas. Then I went on a trip with my kids around new year. Came back, we still dated a few times and went away for 2 nights together. But he seemed off, I pulled away to give him space. Two weeks ago, he didn’t text me entire day, I was reached to my point and told him that he can be honest with me if something bothered him that he has been withdrawing. He told me over text that he felt I loved and needed him more than he does. He felt he is overwhelmed and didn’t want a serious relationship at this point. (he was the one who brought up marriage and future a week before that, i was confused by his purpose and told him to mellow out, and then he kept telling me every night over text that he missed me and loved me). He wanted to meet up in person this week when we last text two weeks ago for breakup, he said there are too much feelings got lost over text. I immediately applied NC rule the second day after the breakup text night. 4 days later, I texted him that I wont be able to meet him due to travel. It took him a day to text back and asked me to let him know when is good to meet. I ignored it. I haven’t text, email or call at all.
Yesterday, he showed up on my FB as recommended friend, we were never connected. So I clicked on his profile and realized that he has changed his profile picture from the past. But I didn’t do anything. Last night, I checked again and realized that he has blocked me on FB. (We were never friend on FB to begin with) .
What’s on his mind? What is he trying to do? Should I contact him after the NC period about our outstanding lunch? What if he doesn’t want to talk to me at all again? How can I find out if he blocked me on his phone or not? We never really fight, not even over the breakup. He said he loved me and i am great in many levels. He wasn’t going to breakup on text that night, he was trying to postpone our discussion. I pushed it. But it was never augment or anything.
I really need your help!

Pearl

February 23, 2016 at 10:29 pm

Thank you for the efforts you put in to gather the information. I am on day 25 of NC. He still not reaching out with any format. I guess I was not that important to him to begin with. The best part of NC is that you are healing day by day. I am picking myself up from the ground.
Pearl

February 17, 2016 at 10:29 pm

Hi Amor, did you get the stats from Chris yet? 🙂
Today is the 19 days in to NC, we broke up 23 days ago, didn’t communicate at all other than that only text 19 days ago. He only checked Whatsapp once and didn’t have any kind of interaction. I am losing hope here, if someone takes long (according to Chris 20 to 30 days is very long), it means he was not that into me i guess. Made be I should move on.
Pearl
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 23, 2016 at 5:53 am

Hi Pearl,
so sorry late rep… but Chris there is no definite percentage but the number of men who reaches out during nc is greatly higher than the ones whi don’t
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 18, 2016 at 12:55 pm

I haven’t but I’ll skype him again tomorrow.. maybe to be safe..finish nc first and then let’s see.. whatever happens, based your decision at that time
Pearl

February 15, 2016 at 4:06 pm

Thank you for all your responses! I really appreciate it! Whats the % of ex actually reached out during NC and whats the time frame (like 14 to 20 days into it?) and What’s the % of ex stayed silent?
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 16, 2016 at 1:06 pm

I’ll ask Chris to be more accurate..then I’ll get back to you 🙂
Pearl

February 14, 2016 at 1:49 pm

4 days before NC. I didn’t approach him immediately after break up, but he left one last msg unread until last Wed. He didn’t got back to WhatsApp for 2 weeks. I only sent one text on day 4’to tell him I couldn’t meet then I restarted the NC again. Today is day 16 of the new NC so it’s like total of 20 days and he only replied my text a day later short and dry. I don’t think he cares about me. Will he still care to be mad or miss me?
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 15, 2016 at 11:11 am

he’s human, I don’t know if he still cares enough to be angry.. but anybody would miss good times in their lives whenever they remember it
Pearl

February 13, 2016 at 10:41 pm

Hi Amor,
Today is day 15 of the NC, he hasn’t reached out yet, I am still loosing my hope. He checked his Whatsapp account after two weeks this week and read my last comments of the day we broke up 3 days ago but didn’t reply. I am the only contact he has on Whatsapp. I miss him dearly and my heart ache. I have tried to go out with someone yesterday but it fell so wrong and hurt. Is that normal to get hurt more? I thought it would be easier day by day. I have tried all, shopping, workout, traveling. Should I do 30 days or 21 or even longer? I don’t feel he needs me back. Maybe we didn’t mean to be together to begin with.
Pearl
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 14, 2016 at 6:15 am

sorry, you broke up 3 days ago? or 3 days before the nc?
Pearl

February 8, 2016 at 3:33 pm

Thank you Amor! What do you think his reason to meet up again? Say goodbye in a better term because we have rushed on text? Should I send the the first text after NC to suggest a day to meet or not bringing up the lunch meeting?
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 9, 2016 at 8:13 am

Well, I don’t know what his reason is but for me don’t suggest the meeting if you think that’s what he’s going to do. And by nc rules, you don’t’ actually ask for meet up right away.
Pearl

February 6, 2016 at 1:44 pm

Thank yo for responding! Yes, he said he is not in a position to handle a serious relationship. But why wood be brought up the topics about future the week before and kept telling me that he misses me before the breakup? He unblocked me the second day. I am on NC day 8. We broke up 2 weeks ago. I only sent text to tell him that I couldn’t meet. He responded a day later saying that I can let him know when is good time to meet. What’s the purpose of meeting again? Just to had a closure in better manor? Should I wait to finish 30 days NC or text him during NC to arrange a meeting?
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 7, 2016 at 1:34 pm

It’s better if you wait for NC to finish before contacting him for the meetup 🙂
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 6, 2016 at 9:23 am

Hi Pearl,

I’m also wondering what happened. Could it have been about his divorce? But right now, it seems like you don’t have a choice but to wait until he unblocks you too.

Alex

February 2, 2016 at 3:15 pm

My boyfriend block me on everything we talk on its been a week since then we didn’t argue or anything we was together for as I knew and having a normal conversation then he block me so unexpected

Alex

February 5, 2016 at 2:06 pm

He moved a couple days before it happened I just wonder what’s the reason
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 6, 2016 at 10:10 am

Better to ask him when everything has cooled off because if you try now, you might not get an answer. Well actually since you’re blocked, all you can do now is wait or better yet focus on yourself. It’s his loss not yours.
Alex

February 4, 2016 at 4:45 am

Yes we didn’t fight he suddenly just block me
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 5, 2016 at 4:46 am

there’s a reason, he’s just not telling you..the problem is if you probe, he might pull back more or you might not be ready for the answer
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 3, 2016 at 2:22 pm

Hi Alex,

Did you mean you didn’t fight? He just suddenly blocked you? Out of nowhere?

Julie

January 30, 2016 at 1:56 pm

Hi. So I had kept in contact with my ex after the breakup then he said he wanted space. As a result he blocked me on his phone. After a bit of blowing hot and cold and unblocking me a few times to chat briefly he blocked me again and when I messaged a few times on Facebook without he reply he blocked me on that too. I know somewhere deep down he has feelings for me but I’m totally confused. I’ve been in no contact for nearly a week but what should my next step be? After no contact I was thinking of leaving a voicemail if he still has me blocked but don’t know if it’s a good idea or not, plus I don’t know if he’ll get the message if I’m blocked. Thanks for any help

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 31, 2016 at 4:02 am

HI Julie,

YOu mean send a voice mail via email? Because if you’re going to try that on facebook, you won’t be able to do it since you’re blocked. Keep with no contact, it seems that he got annoyed. Maybe after a month of silence, he’ll realize that you’re not going to be pushy again.

Sam

January 28, 2016 at 2:17 pm

No v are not back together.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 29, 2016 at 10:19 am

Okay.. actually you can’t expect him to do what he avoid girls, even if that’s what he wanted for you when you were together because now, you’re not together. He can do whatever he wants. And you appear a crazy ex-girlfriend when you’re getting angry about it. I know it hurts but right now you need to focus on yourself first. You need to build your self esteem and happiness apart from him.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 27, 2016 at 11:23 am

Hi Sam,

But you’re not back together when he like the photos in facebook right?

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