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129 thoughts on “What To Do If Your Boyfriend Says He Wants A Break”

  1. Tmcquire

    August 28, 2019 at 10:39 pm

    I caught my husband with a young girl half of his age, I caught him kissing this girl, Little did I know that they have being dating for 3 months. I could not afford to lose my marriage all because of some little trash. we had being married for over a decade. I met a sango priestess in los angeles when I went to see my mom. this powerful witch did a spell for me that made my husband confess to what he has been doing for the past three months. He told me kneeling and crying remorsefully. He told me how the little girl has being lavishing our money for shopping and rubbish.
    I am glad I met this witch in California when I went to see my mom, My husband has never lied to me since I did a love solution spell to make my husband faithful to me and respect our marriage. This witch has a website for easy access to order for a spell and get instant result (lovesolution temple . com) (lovesolution spell . net). You can easily go through on (sangopriestesslovesolution @ outlook. com).
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    I am happy I could keep my marriage together no matter what means I use, I cannot let my home tear apart because of my husband’s indiscipline. I will do anything to keep my family together and happily in love forever.

  2. Erin

    August 25, 2019 at 9:16 pm

    I’ve been dating this guy for about a year now, well he would say we’ve been dating for a few months but we’ve been sleeping together for a year. He just moved into his own place, his ex and him were living together. Last night I had talked to him on the phone, I had some alcohol in my system.. I had looked on his Facebook days prior, and he had lied about something that happened last year, well I confronted him about it I didn’t freak out or yell I just told him how it made me feel. Also, a couple of days ago he invited me to meet his parents and then told me 2 days later that he didn’t want to be a “Indian uninviter” but he said he thinks it’s to soon, and that since his ex and him aren’t living together anymore that it would be to soon to bring me around. He doesn’t want it to look like he is just replacing her with me. So after I talked to him yesterday he sends me this text this morning:

    I hope you are feeling ok today. I don’t want to argue, but I dont want to be called names either, I would’ve stayed with Anna if that’s what I wanted.

    I really like you and we have a good time, but last night was a serious buzz kill. I don’t want to say I don’t want to hang with you anymore, but like you said in your long text, maybe it would be good if we took a little time.

    I am going to head into my fantasy football draft. So I will be unavailable until later.

    I’m not sure what to say or do, should I just respect his wishes and do NC and wait until only when he wants to contact me?or ????

  3. Maddison

    July 17, 2019 at 7:32 pm

    I need some help with this. So my boyfriend of about 9 months had been away with family for the past month this summer. Before he left he suggested that we take a break after a falling out we had but I insisted we stay together. Everything was going well when he was gone until about three weeks into his trip when he didn’t contact me for two days. I got worried and blew up at him, saying it felt like he had been “leading me on” this entire time. We then didn’t talk for a couple more days and then I called to apologize and he suggested taking a break at this time as well. A couple weeks later and he gets back from his trip and all is well between us. He was in a bad mood generally when I saw him in person and even his friends noticed because he was different towards them as well. After our second day of seeing each other in person he wanted to take a break again after I complained that it didn’t really seem like he wanted to hang out with me. We took a couple day break and then I begged to talk to him (not great I know). We then went on another week long break and I managed to not text him only two days out of that week. He broke up with me at the end of the week. He said he still loved me but that he also didn’t feel the same way about us. We met in person to talk about it and he seemed somewhat hesitant but also persistent about breaking up. After our meeting in person I have not contacted him, it’s been four days. Is there hope for us?

  4. Fides

    July 17, 2019 at 10:24 am

    Hi. My boyfriend and I broke up and after a few days, i tried to talk to him to fix things. He was distant and said he wanted some time and space to think. 🙁 Right now, he has no plans of getting back together 🙁

  5. Maya

    July 16, 2019 at 12:28 am

    I need advice. My boyfriend has been distant lately and i kept asking him what’s going on. He kept saying he’s thinking about what he’s doing in life lately, that he needs time to reflect, that he doesn’t have his career or anything, and is trying to think about his next move. But he’s been so distant with me so after a couple days of asking i finally called him and said what’s going on. He said the same thing. He needs to focus on himself. So i said do you want to break up? He said he needs space to be alone. And i asked if he wanted to see other people. He said no, he’s not trying to do that. That he loves me so much and I’ve been a great gf. It’s just something he has to figure out. So i said that’s great that you’re thinking about that stuff. I want to give you your space. And he said he still wanted to text and hang out. So i told him that it didn’t sound like he wanted to break up if he still wanted to stay committed and act normal, so i said i would just give him his space and respect it. Conversation ended good. I hung up and he texted me right away. Texted me all day. He acted normal. I was dry and hurt though trying to give him space and wasn’t feeding the conversation. Then the next day we stopped talking all together. I think we’re both trying to give each other that space. So I guess my question is will the no contact rule apply here? I’m obviously hurt that he’s pushing me away instead of trying to solve his problems together. But I respect that he’s asking for space so I’m giving that to him. I don’t feel like this has to do with me. But im still hurt because it’s affecting me in the process. And im starting to think I shouldn’t be with someone who Is okay with risking me. In our 2 year relationship, I’ve dealt with a lack of communication and stubbornness from him. I feel that if i do the no contact, he’ll just ex-communicate me all together out of pride. Another part has seen him put in effort and maybe he will show up. But I’m also taking this time to think as much as i love him, should i be with someone who’s willing to lose me? Instead of leaning on me and letting me in for his problems. I’m not sure what to do. But i am trying the no contact. This is day 2. Thanks.

    1. Chris Seiter

      July 16, 2019 at 2:04 am

      HI Maya….I know you have been thru a lot. Keep charging forward with No Contact. If you need more insights into how all of this works, check out my Program, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro Relationship Bundle”.

  6. Anthony

    June 6, 2019 at 3:23 am

    I NEED YOUR HELP!
    I am trying so hard and reading so many of your articles it just sucks let me start from scratch.

    We met three years ago on a dating site I just got out of a really toxic relationship three months prior and met him. We instantly hit it off – here’s this guy with a house a car a job (totally not my ex) and he said he loves me ?! Boom ! Moved in two months later … lost my job- caught him one morning doing narcotics . It broke my heart here I am trusting this man with everything living in his house and I was living a lie. He not only had this problem however a problem with gambling as well which I was young and dumb and didn’t think anything of it. I grabbed my things and booked it – lasting about 8 hours away I called him (hearing the slot machines in the back) he met me at my moms. We talked and I came back to the house. I got a job making six figures – I didn’t share any of this other than getting the household bills caught up. I didn’t trust him.. a lot of arguing started because of my hurt and constantly not trusting him. I have a temper and it didn’t help. Finally I moved to another room in the house and got a rental in surprise. I told him he can move with me and he said no so I begged. He caved and moved. Made money and still argued just in another house. Then I found a new hobby and wanted to move downtown. Moved downtown quit my job (like an idiot) he moved. Then when my artistic hobby did not pan out the first time I got another job which we moved in with family to save money – got promoted to a manager and then moved to the east valley – I was making great money then he was making great money then I got an even better job. Realized why are we moving and moved back with family as my hobby got the best of me. He moved back in all was well for two weeks then BOOM this isn’t enough for him anymore. I know as I am typing this I am realizing this is a hell of times moving. As I’m 27 he’s 34 he’s always worked and I’ve never shared or committed. He went distant for a few days, then finally texted and said we would talk when I got home. He told me this isn’t enough for him anymore and I flipped out- told him to go and he did. When I got home and saw his things gone I got so upset. I called him and said I missed him – left flowers on his car since he was staying with a friend. Went to his apartment – brought him some things he left behind. He told me I am not writing you off I am focusing on myself. I said a few things we had sex I left. Went over again I had sex left , then the third time he was drinking a little too much and told me don’t make me say I love you. This was what broke me – I wrote a long letter apologizing for how I feel. He agreed he needed time asked for a year apart to revisit things – what ? Why ? I agreed but kept bringing it up and it was driving him nuts. So finally I asked to talk to him – said I could give him six months he agreed not to go out at this time but to revisit the subject and to not bring it up. I brought a gift to his work everything made myself look like an idiot thought nothing but I need to show him this! I need to show I’m I care – he’s stuck beside me and moved through all of my junk and mistakes this is my time to show it. He didn’t budge said to me he needs me to mentally grow up and get my stuff together to re visit the subject. A few days passed he texted me congratulations on the new job etc. I ignored it for two days. Then finally I was downtown and I had an urge to tell him to not contact me – he answered the door so sick with a cold. I just sat with him for a little while rubbed his leg etc. then I made a trip to his apartment this morning to check on him because he was out of coffee creamer but being sick didn’t want to go to the store. I brought it with a get well soon balloon. We sat for a little bit – then ended up falling asleep in his bed next to each other. I looked right at him and said why won’t you let me just take care of you and show you that I love you and want to make this work and he said we will see if you feel the same way in six months. I gave him a hug goodbye which he patted me – I made a comment about the pat and I left. I texted him just a few hours ago- asking how he was feeling very responsive getting meds from the pharmacy etc.

    I have gained weight (dieting now gained over 100 lbs during this relationship) this took a huge dip on our sex life etc. also .

    I just want him to see I can take care of him and I will. What do you think I should do ? Should I trust the space ? Should I wait it out? Should I ignore him? Should I stop bringing it up? Part of me wants to save as much money as I can in six months financially just to get myself out of the hole and see if he’s ready. But the other part of me wants to get a place to prove to him and myself I can do it and keep my job and be the partner he needs. Please help me… this sucks and I hate the resentment I have for everything I’ve done wrong and I just don’t want him to meet anyone else. He keeps the note and the birthday card I gave him. He has a picture in his apartment of our dogs which I have. What do I honestly do? It’s driving me crazy! Please help me

  7. Tuca

    May 24, 2019 at 5:11 am

    I have been dating this guy on and off for two years, the first set of times we dated is irrelevant but this second set? We were dating again for a few weeks and he told me that he talked to his therapist but he wants to go on a break to focus on him , he also said that the only reason why he came back around the second time was because he needed a place to stay * hurt like hell* anyway now we live together because i didn’t want to see him on the streets. Well i looked on his phone (due to suspicious facial expressions) and he’s flirting with MULTIPLE women and even wrote poems for one and called her beautiful.. It was only because nothing changed between us things feel the same but that hurt alot. He says he wants me in his future but i don’t know if i want that because the present hurts so much

  8. Laura

    May 23, 2019 at 9:44 am

    My BF and I have had some trying times as of late. He emotionally cheated, constantly lied and I forgave him. I really have. It’s only been about 2.5 weeks since this and now he needs a ‘break’. He says to get right in his mind. But, then tells me that we are still together, but he doesn’t want to be about us. So, I see why the NC would help him miss me. He even says he just wants to be able to miss me. We live together and he wants me in the same bed. Wants us to be friends, but says he still wants us. I do feel like this is the beginning of the end. And it scares me. My kids (not his) love this man. So much of our life is intertwined. He tells me that he doesn’t want to be together at work (where this other woman is)saying he just wants to focus on work. He said he wants to come home and me be happy, me act like everything is fine. It’s tearing me up. I tried to ask about boundaries he wanted during his break, he doesn’t know. Please help me.

    1. Chris Seiter

      May 23, 2019 at 11:56 pm

      Hi Laura…I am sorry you have been thru som much. Yes, NC can help in many ways. Feel free to check out my EBR Pro Bundle Program to understand better how all the pieces fit together!

  9. Angel

    May 17, 2019 at 2:30 pm

    Hi, I’m a 17 year old girl battling major depression and general anxiety. I am VERY fragile when it comes to relationships but I’m afraid of being alone. My current boyfriend and I had been together for a month and things were going quite well until just recently. He said things were going on with his step-father and he was failing in school so he needed a break until the end of the school year. He said he loves me a lot and that he wants to get back together in June but that’s a month and a half away and I’m nervous he won’t like me anymore. He also still wants me to go to his prom and I’m afraid that I’ll break down crying and ruin his night… what should I do…? Any advice would help I’m overthinking things and stressing a lot.

  10. Amanda

    May 9, 2019 at 1:47 pm

    Hi EBR,

    This is a complicated situation. I’m not just some single girl by myself with my life ahead of me. I’m not young. I’m almost 40. I am a mother of three: 4, 5, 9. He has one child who is 10. We met about 20 years ago, always had an attraction together, but ended up marrying other people. After we divorced our spouses and were single for some time, we have now been together in a solid relationship for 2.5 years. Last September, he bought us a house. We have done many family vacations and family reunions together. Each of our children has their own room in our house. They are on a sibling status now. My two youngest children know him mostly as a father figure more so than their dad, who has barely been around except a weekend every now and then…..supervised.

    This year, he started his own company after retiring as Captain from the fire department. This past year, I also have endured an abusive boss at the school I work in and have had several conversations with him about needing to find another job elsewhere. (I ended up being transported to the hospital from work after an abusive spout one morning and ended up being told I had a series mini strokes and am now on medication for my heart). He said I can’t quit, because our family counts on my insurance, and he was in the process of starting a company. I have become extremely upset and depressed with being treated the way I am each day at work and feeling stuck, because he told me I can’t quit my job. After several months of “just dealing with it”, my boyfriend told me all I do is complain about my job. I thought I was venting to him, because that is something that a partner should be there for. (and I am TELLING you, it is way worse at my job than you can fathom. I am being called names in front of other staff, having bulletins that I post up on the walls being ripped down with me to watch saying they’re “crooked” and not good enough…when they’re fine), my father was assaulted by this person, being humiliated on stage when I am coaching and leading a PD session for our teachers and just passive aggressive comments each day, everyday in front of people……HR was not helpful…..which is why I figured it was time for me to make the move.). I worked on talking about my job less, but then I felt I was only bottling it up which made me feel even more sad and depressed, like I had nobody to let that stress out with. A few months later, he has now told me that I have become negative about every little thing. HOWEVER, my friends at work who witness this abuse from our boss have mentioned and said things like, “How are you always so happy?” and, “With all the things going on in your life and being treated this way, you would never know!” So, that leads me to questioning how my boyfriend says I am negative and complain all the time, when other people tell me otherwise. I am confused.

    This leads to the “big event” of the “break” this past week.

    We had a patio/tent that broke and a rather large part of an oak tree that snapped off from a storm last week. He cut down the part of the tree and pulled the tent over to the side in our backyard. We also had some things back there that we are getting rid of that never made it into our new house that has been sitting there for the past few months since we moved in. He pressure washed the concrete in the backyard the other day and in the front. I was grateful for his hard work, so when I was at work, I got online looked up companies that could possibly come haul all this stuff away to a dump and got quotes (it’s takes up a large quantity of space and would be difficult to move ourselves…..mostly the tree). When I got home, I told him what I did, and he flipped out! He told me I overstepped my boundaries……? He said none of that stuff is mine to touch or deal with, and “how dare me think about throwing away things that might be his!” I told him that wasn’t my plan…….simple solution…..we have the people out, we stand out there with him…..and we tell them what to take. He absolutely REFUSED to listen to that common sense of a reason and kept going back to “I can’t believe you would…..” I still don’t think I did anything wrong. I am not a child. I have three kids. I have two college degrees. I have been married and divorced. I know how to take care of and handle things on my own….like making decisions to call to get stuff hauled away from my house and pay all my bills. I have a good career. He told me that after all the complaining about my job and things around the house, that this was the last straw. He told me we need to take a break. I am extremely upset and confused. If he just gets to make decisions about the house, why can’t I? I know I am a positive person! People tell me I’m one of those “peppy” people all the time! Do I vent? Yes. But, I feel I am allowed to. Especially since he told me I couldn’t quit my job. What did I do wrong in calling these people to help clean up the house? I thought I was an equal adult in this house who can make decisions like this? I didn’t even schedule an appointment with them. I called to get quotes, then I came home to discuss it with him. We barely even got into the discussion when he blew up.

    He texted my father (they have a good relationship after all these years of knowing each other since we were in high school) and told him we were on a break. My father has not reach out to me and it’s been several days. I have not contacted my parents mostly out of embarrassment. He went to Houston and is staying at his parents house running his business from their home currently……and he HASN’T told his parents. But he told mine?

    He says stuff like, “you have no idea how much stress I’m under.” Well, that may be true, as we will never know the full life of another person, unless we are them. But, that also means he can never fully understand the stress I’m under. I have three kids with an absent father. He has 1 kid with an active mother. I work full time under abuse each day with 900 students on my campus and 46 staff members, and I’m on the administration team. He works from home in comfortable clothes on the floor of our bedroom and then books trips (large bulk delivery) and takes his dad with him. He pays no bills (except his child support and his vehicle expenses…..since he is just starting his business.). I pay ALL the house bills and my vehicle, and all the health insurance for everyone in the family. I also don’t receive child support for my three kids! So, it’s very hard to have sympathy when he says, “you have no idea how much stress I’m under.”

    He called me last night. We spoke for a few minutes, and he said that I (me) needed to take some time to figure out if this relationship is what I want. I am extremely confused…..I told him that that didn’t even make sense, because HE’S the one who called the break!

    What do I do?
    What do I tell the kids?
    What in the actual hell?

    1. Chris Seiter

      May 9, 2019 at 9:17 pm

      Hi Amanda…so I can see a lot has happened and is going on. It seems to me that you both having some space and time apart will allow for emotions to settle back. It seems he has some control and/or self esteem issues. With the passage of time, he may come to see things different and appreciate you value. Take a look at picking up my Program, “EBR Pro Bundle” as it act as sort of a roadmap as to how you may wish to proceed.

  11. Jovita

    April 22, 2019 at 2:45 pm

    I have been dating a man for almost two years and he has great qualities, however we are moving a bit slow on things. He has not welcomed me into his life as far as family events or holidays. I would think by now we would be engaging with these things by now. He is still married and he does live in his own place, but still pays the rent and takes care of the animals they have together. We have had many conversations about him not being able to give me what I want, which is a future. He has told me that this part of his life has been damaged and he has hesitation on us. He does not want to make a mistake. I tend to get angry and confused and when I get in those modes I compare my past relationships to are disagreements. He gets very upset and tells me he just does not know if he can give me what I want. I understand his situation. I have been there before with my divorce. I know how things can take time to separate and move on with your own life. I completely understand it. However when two people date should there be some type of indication of a future and engaging with family and friends and holiday’s? He has brought to baseball games and I meant a few of family members, but it is at social events. I have gone to one holiday gathering, but out of the two years of dating. There has not been much engaging. He tells me it would be weird to bring around. I understand, but I don’t. We recently had a long talk and he said maybe we should taking a break. I had a hard time with this. I tried to fix things and I ended up seeming very needy and was wanting understand his feelings. He told me he felt overwhelmed with his situation and I was making things complicated and adding more to his plate, but he told me that I had every right to feel how I was feeling on wanting more. He just feels with everything going on with his personal life he just can’t do what I need. What is so confusing is he has done so much for me and he does these things with me not asking. He just does. He asked for the break three days ago. He went out to see a friend Friday night and he wanted to talk about us. That was the day we made the decision to take a break. He called me on his way home and wanted to come and say hi. He asked if that would be okay. Of course I said yes, but he came and it felt so awkward. We talked for a bit, but not about the break. Just random stuff. We said are goodbyes and the next morning he text me good morning and replied back of course. He asked me to lunch and I excepted. It still felt awkward. I could not look at him because I am still hurt and confused because he still wants to be in my life. That night he went to see his mom and he was so excited about some glasses she had given him and he told me I should see them and than he told me he had gotten me a little something for Easter and would it be okay for him to give to me. I said yes and he came by and he stayed over and things happen. I just can’t let go and I know I should. I feel he can’t let go either. I just think the situation he is in very overwhelming and he is confused on letting me completely in. I could be wrong on all this. I don’t know.

  12. Xi

    April 12, 2019 at 2:34 am

    Hi Chris please reply I’m very sad… My boyfriend asked for a breakup and I tried to fix it and it was even worst because now he’s asking for me to not talk to him for a week and then he will call… I feel totally weak here and clueless about what’s going to be. So I’m not the one deciding anything here how can I get out of this awful place? We’re not even into any social network anymore so I feel like I’m totally pushed away. I’m so depressed that can barely get out of my bed actually 🙁

    1. Chris Seiter

      April 13, 2019 at 1:46 am

      You should listen to some of my Podcasts that can lift you up and tap into some of my resources to help with your healing!

  13. Steph

    April 9, 2019 at 8:13 pm

    Hi,

    My boyfriend and I have been together going on 4 years. Him and I have gone through so much, but recently wanted to take a break to “get himself together”, yet, when I don’t answer my phone or get back to him quickly, he gets an attitude. Also, if there is a family emergency on his end, he expects me to be there. Keep in mind all of this while we are still on a “break”
    I have no problem with the NC rule, however, him and I have 2 businesses together, so NC will not work. How do I handle this?

  14. Jingwen

    March 13, 2019 at 2:09 am

    Hi Chris, I wrote over here about 10 months ago.. And I’m back here again.. Things were going alright till Monday night. We got into a argument which I strongly disapproved of him doing so but he insisted and I ended the call abruptly. Afterwards, I texted him telling him if there is any other ways in solving that issue by not using his solution. He replied, “Lets break up” Feeling so shock and confuse, I started to panic and tried to salvage the situation but I failed. Saying that he doesn’t want to talk and I should learn to respect his decision. Red flags triggered when I asked if I could come down and find him and he said that “I didn’t learn from the first breakup” and he wants to be alone. Back then I came to find him and wanted to salvage the situation but I realise I only pushed him away even further.. I immediately put a halt in trying to salvage the situation and told him I will leave him alone and apologize. Afterwards, he told me he need some time away from me and “please give me some space” which I agreed and I asked if he will let me know when he will come back to me and he rsaid he will and that this will be a separation period/break. When asked about the duration, he told me a week and that by then we decide if we want to continue the relationship… I agreed and he didn’t reply. After a day, (which was yesterday) he texted me and all, I replied him like how I always would and his replies back were so hot and cold… So I told him like im sorry and I shouldn’t have reacted that way and that if its his decision, I’ll respect him. But his only reply to that was “Don’t bother”. My heart dropped and I said I’ll give him time to cool down… It seems like he felt that I dont trust him.. I’m in a lost right now… Chris, please.. Tell me what to do…

  15. Feelingsad

    January 2, 2019 at 4:35 pm

    My boyfriend just asked me for a break Yesterday. We have been fighting & arguing since we came back from our mini vacation in June. He started to grow distant. He has most of his clothing at my house. I totally flipped out, cursed him out & told him to come & get his shit. He says he loves me & The only reason why he wants a break is because his finances are poor. He says he’s very unhappy with how his finances are right now and he needs to focus on himself. I don’t believe he loves me because if a man really loved you he would not want a break from you and give a Nother man the opportunity to be with you. I’m so hurt.

  16. Nitaka Yung

    January 1, 2019 at 4:44 am

    My boyfriend said to take a break on Christmas and that he would give me an answer later in February. I cried and begged him a little, but then got hold of myself. I then ranted because I was in a very pressurised condition these months and had been contemplating suicide. He then messaged me the next day that he still loves me a lot and would give me an answer in January. I didn’t reply him because I didn’t know what to reply. Then he proceeded to delete the photos of us together on social media 3 days after, and became very active on social media. I thought it would be better to either end it or discuss it, so I reached out to him 5 days later and scheduled a meeting this Saturday to talk clearly about our relationship. What should I say to him? How can I avoid deal breakers? Should I try to convince him to come back? Or should I go NC after he breaks up with me?
    I’m not sure if he wants to break up with me fast to get back with his ex, because it sounds very sudden. We were having a great time in December and he suddenly asked for a break.

    1. Chris Seiter

      January 1, 2019 at 5:40 pm

      Hi Nitaka!

      Yes, if there is a breakup, you should initiate No Contact, but do it for yourself so you can focus on your healing and recovery and well being. That is more important than anything. Just be calm and avoid conflict if you do meet up with him. If he says things about the relationship you disagree with, accept his input as his opinion. Don’t argue. Share your feelings.

      You mentioned you were contemplating suicide. Remember, you matter and are important to many people.

      If you are feeling depressed and/or suicidal, there is help for you.

      The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis.

      The owners and staff of the Ex Boyfriend Recovery website are not licensed counselors, so if you are at risk for suicide, homicide or other harm or injury, please call 911 or seek other help (such as a hospital emergency room or doctor’s care) immediately. If you need help from the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, please dial:

      1-800-273-TALK (8255)
      You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With over 120 crisis centers across the country, their mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential.

  17. Kathrene

    December 28, 2018 at 4:20 pm

    Hei! Is it still okay to do the no contact rule if we have been in contact since the “ break”.He took his things and moved out on Christmas.It has been 5 days. He said he missed me bla bla but won’t schedule a meeting. He did actually wanna see and then canceled. I was the one who called him after 3 days and he said he missed me and etc. He also asked me on a possible double date on 30.12. He is being hot and cold. He is giving me so many mixed signals. What should I do?

    1. Chris Seiter

      December 29, 2018 at 2:21 am

      Hi Kathrene!

      You are right…hot and cold doesn’t cut it. NC is in play if he doesn’t start showing some consistency.

  18. Jasmine

    November 30, 2018 at 9:33 pm

    So, my boyfriend (I guess now ex) asked for a break a few weeks ago, to “be happy by himself,” and to “re-balance himself.” I was/am completely for him trying to be able to make himself happy when we’re not together, but told me he loves me so much after he told all this to me. This was a total shock for me because things between us had been very good and we hadn’t had any issues recently. Now I have never been on a break and in these last few weeks I’ve been doing the exact opposite of what was recommended in the article. I usually leave him alone to do whatever he needs to do unless he messages me, and then we’ll have full on conversations where he’ll flirt and act like everything is normal, or comes to see me while in between classes at college, where things are pleasant but I don’t know how to act so it feels awkward. We also hooked up once recently, which was very confusing to me and I asked him for answers about that and made him angry. Is it too late to begin these strategies? What would you recommend I do?

  19. Lola

    September 22, 2018 at 11:08 am

    Please leave the b****d, I once felt this way too. Go find u someone who appreciates u that sees u as a flower he has to water everyday.that loves u to the brim and that respects your feelings.Dont keep hanging there. U would only be doing worse things to yourself .

  20. Cala

    March 9, 2018 at 11:05 pm

    Not sure where to leave this comment, but say for instance that everything is going smoothly in no contact phase (he split with me because he says he doesn’t love me anymore but literally everything else points at him just being afraid to commit to trying again when we were so on and off before (my own fault). I’ve been doing great on bettering myself the last 3 weeks, but I heard from our mutual friend that he suddenly wants to get girls but he had told me that he didn’t want to date period for a while. I’m not sure if this is how he’s actually felt (which makes me angry because he acted like he didn’t want to date period before and now does aka not me) or if he’s saying this to act nonchalant about our split. I was his first girlfriend, we dated nearly 2 whole years, and he only has 1 friend (who’s coincidentally my best guy friend). How can I take my mind off this, ideally I’d just try to clarify it but no contact is going on so I’m not down to break that, especially if it makes him think about our past and failed ship. What can I do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 13, 2018 at 4:41 pm

      Hi Cala,

      what do you mean that you want to clarify it? You want to ask him if he wants to date other girls? If yes, don’t ask it, ever..

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