Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

104 thoughts on “What Not To Do After A Breakup If You Want Him Back”

  1. Greia

    March 30, 2020 at 2:25 pm

    It’s been a year since we broke up. I’m not quite sure if I’ve already moved on because I didn’t feel any pain when I saw him with his new girlfriend but I find myself missing him wanting to forgive him and wanting to continue our relationship . What should I do? I know I shouldn’t be thinking about having him back but I just can’t stop.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 30, 2020 at 8:41 pm

      Hi Greia, I would suggest that you take some time before you decide if you are going to try and get him back, or are you missing being in a relationship. I suggest you date casually for the time being to see how you feel about new guys if you do not meet someone who is going to give you the same connection as your ex then you need to do the being there method as he has a new relationship

  2. Emmy

    November 11, 2019 at 1:37 pm

    Hi Shaunna,

    Thank you for your advice. I am on day 5 of no contact since the day of the break up. He has not contacted me since. He did call off the wedding, it’s canceled. I found out that he had been on Match.com for about a week now. He still has me on Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, and instagram. His relationship status is hidden on Facebook, but mine is still attached to his saying we are engaged. I’m in a couple of his pictures on his Facebook page, and my friend even said I am in one of his Match.com pictures. I’m in panic mode. I can’t lose him. We haven’t seen each other for over 3 weeks now. We will have to talk in person or talk soon about wedding canceling and house things. I can’t believe he broke up with me, I’m doing everything I can to make things right. What do I do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 12, 2019 at 8:57 pm

      Hey Emmy, so you need to allow NC to take its course and the fact he is on match.com is just a distraction for him to not deal with how he feels. Also dating life is HARD these days so the longer he spends trying to find someone to be as good as you is going to take time and the more time that takes hes going to miss you more and the relationship you had. So for now focus on you and how to be Ungettable and how to be confidently happy without him. The key is to know you are going to be happy with or without him in your life. That is the goal and thats when he will realise you are not waiting around for him anymore

  3. Emmy

    November 7, 2019 at 3:46 pm

    My ex fiancé and I live together in a rental house with our dog. A little over a month ago I cheated on him with my only ex. I did not plan to, in the moment I made a terrible, irreversible decision. At first my fiancé was mad for a couple of days and left the house to stay at his parents. Then he came home for about 2 weeks. He was sad, stressed, upset, and just overall down. Things weren’t right, but I felt hope that we could get through this. I was still confused and unsure where I stood, so I started therapy and worked out some of my why’s. It wasn’t because the relationship was bad. I had gone through my parents getting divorced, my sister joining the military, my dad moving his girlfriend and her kids into our childhood home, and just worry about marriage as a whole. I knew I loved him and I wanted to be with him forever. I tested myself and my own boundaries and I completely screwed up. After those two weeks we talked and decided to get more space. He packed up stuff and stayed at his parents. It’s been 3 weeks since I’ve seen him, 2 weeks since he’s been at the house. We have talked semi often, a lot about the wedding logistics, and I have bothered him way too much about coming back and how sorry I am, etc. He said he needed time and space and his own therapy to work out how he feels, he’s heartbroken. He started getting more angry around that time and over the past 3-4 days I have kept my distance and not contacted him. He did contact me once about our rent and to ask how I was. Then last night he said he had made a decision and wanted to talk in person today. But I asked if that meant he was breaking up with me. Of course he can’t just leave that for 24 hours so he said yes and that he hasn’t loved himself enough to be in a relationship and it’s over. I called him and panicked and begged and cried and freaked out. He hung up on me and blocked me. I am in contact with his mom, she cares about me and is willing to talk with me, I made sure she didn’t feel obligated to. Now we have to talk in person tonight and he said nothing I say or do will change his mind. I want him back, I want the life we were building back. I love him with all of my heart, I made a terrible, terrible mistake. I will try to continue not to contact him now after we talk, but it will be difficult with the wedding, the house, and the dog we share. If I do that, do I still talk with him if he contacts and just don’t bring up the relationship any more? What can I do to get him back?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      November 8, 2019 at 6:00 pm

      Hey so what I suggest you do is only reply when he contacts you for a while. And you are going to have to be super patient and understanding as this has hurt him as you said he is heartbroken yet hasnt ended the wedding plans so it isnt a bad thing. If he cancels the wedding you need to handle it gracefully. Stop apologising to him and asking him to come back because it is going to have the opposite effect on him. Acknowledging you did wrong and its good you been to work out why you did it. But he is going to go through some stages himself and you are going to be faced with some awkward questions as he goes through therapy too I assume. Grace, Calm, and let him take control of the situation for a few weeks. (maximum 45 days) before you start trying to talk to him normally and rebuild your trust

  4. Aaa

    September 13, 2019 at 7:59 am

    My ex boyfriend broke up with me exactly a week ago, and since then until just today, I kept begging for him to come back to me. At first, when he broke up with me in chat, he told me it would just be a cool off and he said he still loves me. He also said we’ll still be the bestest friends. But just this week, when we saw each other again at school, he began to get colder and colder. And maybe annoyed too, because I kept going to him and asking him to change his mind. Then, he told me it can’t be fixed anymore and he’s not sure anymore if he’d still want me back in the future. That’s when he said that he’s really breaking up with me. I was so broken because he promised it would only just be a pause, and he wouldn’t have any relationship with other girls during this pause period, but then he changed his mind and now he’s making me feel that I shouldn’t hope anymore because he won’t ever go back to me.

    I’ve been so depressed since last weekend, but today I’m starting to accept it (for now). I still do hope he’ll still change his mind in the future.

    And I asked him just today if he still has feelings for me, and he said he only sees me as a friend now. It hurts so much.

    I know it’s my fault because I was too possessive of him and controlling. I was too manipulative. But I know my mistakes now, and I’m changing. I want him back. I love him so much.

    He’s telling me to move on, but I can’t do it. I’ll still wait for him, even though he already told me not to. We had been together for almost 3 years until the breakup. How is it too easy for him to let go of what he had? Meanwhile, I’ve been so sad and down.

    I need advice.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      September 15, 2019 at 12:33 am

      Hey Aaa, so first you need to complete a no contact, and work on yourself and healing from the break up. Sometimes our exes appear to be happy and able to deal with it so “easily” because they have decided they wanted to get out of the relationship so at this point he is relieved, this will chance during your process of doing no contact. He is solely focused on why he ended things at this point. Use no contact to find yourself and again and be the person he met three years ago only better. Read up about being ungettable

  5. Courtney

    July 25, 2019 at 2:05 pm

    I wish I would’ve come across this article earlier, because I have done everything that you said not to do. Is there even still a chance?

  6. Cassy

    May 24, 2019 at 2:16 pm

    Hi Chris,
    I’m very confused with my now ex I guess . It’s been a year with our ups and downs , I even forgive him for not telling me he saw the mother of his kid last December. Anyways, this is difficult as we are in a long distance relationship, we traveled together 2 weeks ago after not seeing each other since last October, we were fine until the end as he wanted mu to jump in a bus by myself for 11 hours to meet me in other State , he was driving motorcycle that he bought , but needed to find a place where it was easy to send back to our country. Before my trip I said I could go with him , but I didn’t want to be left by myself somewhere over there , so he replied he’ll leave the bike with his sister and we will be traveling together via bus to the other State , so that didn’t happen I got upset . I decided not to go by myself on a buss and I asked him to leave me on the station so I can go back home . We had arguments after that over the phone and we kept going back and forth mostly me I guess saying things to him , so he broke up with me . I asked him if he really want us to brake up or take a brake , I said if he really wants to brake up to let me know so we can finish everything. He replied to give ourselves a time as it seems impossible a space between us now . so I replied ok , that’s fine, that I understand . I also wrote that I think I do need that as well . So , he never replied anything after I wrote that , it’s been 3 days of no contact and what he did instead, he changed profile picture with an ex he had I think , the picture it’s kind of blurry that I can verily see her face . I know it’s an old picture . I’m confused. I asked him if he wants us to break up for good that I will respect that’s and he says to give us time instead. I really love him and I don’t know what to do or think now . Is he playing mind games with me ?

  7. Cassi

    March 12, 2019 at 3:57 am

    Hi Chris,
    I was in LDR for a year with a men whom is 13 years older then me , he was separated from his previous relationship when we met , but has 2 kids (teenagers ) with this person . We had a few trips together ,got along really well and talked every day . However, he started acting distant since last October, so I asked him if everything was ok and he said yes, he was having a lot issues at work . He travels every year with his oldest son for New Years, so he told me he’ll be traveling with his sister , son , nephew and daughter for New Years. He was talking and texting the whole entire time during his trip with me . Anyways , to make it short , I saw some pictures his sister posted on Facebook and made it public and there was someone on that picture standing next to him that he never mentioned. I was wondering, but didn’t ask anything about it . The next day , I was trying to take a close look to the pictures, but surprisingly I was blocked by the sister and we weren’t even friends .. we kept talking and I acted like I didn’t know anything about it . So he came back from his trip and I was the traveling after the holidays for my birthday . While on my trip he started acting distant again and at tha point I had enough. I texted him after my trip and confronted him , he couldn’t deny that It was his ex on the pictures. He told it was not what i was thinking, that it was for the kids . He begged no to stop talking to him that he wants me around him and tha he loves me . He asked to forgive him for him not being honest with , so I couldn’t take it and I stopped all contact with him and I even blocked him from Facebook. It’s been 4 weeks, but he hasn’t even reached out to me since then . Info miss him , but I don’t know if the no contact would work between us

    1. Chris Seiter

      March 12, 2019 at 8:50 pm

      Hi Cassie!

      So in my Program, after 21-45 days (on average) of NO Contact, I advocate that one should reach out to their ex using a certain methodology. I get into all those details and much more in the EBR Pro Program. So you be nearing the time to initiate contact to trigger a potential response from your ex.

  8. Agata Ruminska

    February 24, 2019 at 6:00 am

    We have been dating for 4 months. We broke up twice actually and it was always his decision, even though after the first break up I was wondering about it myself but could never do it as I wanted to give it a chance…
    First break up was sudden, I remember this day texting him if we can make it together despite our differences in character and he was supportive and positive. Later that day I was the one having doubts and I think my mistake was to unleash everything on him. I consulted my parents, friends I remember and everyone was sceptical of him, because we were never formally together, and for new year eve (after we were dating for 2 months) he didn’t even offer me to go on a trip with him and his friends. I was angry and disappointed because after 3 months of dating I still haven’t met his friends (only one but it was a girl that he was previously interested in, funny story we are good friends now) and I was putting pressure on him. And he said something like I don’t know what to do, I’m just not ready to introduce them to you as we are not officially together and so on. It’s maybe important to mention that I was the second girl he ever dated, previously he was in 5-years long relationship that he only talks about in a negative manner (they were 17 when it started, it ended about 2 years ago). And he told me his ex never wanted to meet his friends, it was the same with the phone calls as he told me he has negative connotations with them, every time he phoned me was because I asked him to (however over conversations were very nice and I almost always I was the one to finish them, not him unlike texting in the last month). Anyway, in the evening after his job he texted me that maybe we cannot make it work, he tried, I’m the wonderful girl and he hopes I will still do those amazing things. I asked him to come, and he did, after a huge fight, he came back in the middle of the night calming me down and in the morning he said he wants to give it a try after all.
    My another big mistake was not giving him needed space after it and time. Instead of doing it I just pressure him more and more, and cling desperately, because I was afraid that he will break up with me again, I started to panic. After 2 weeks I went on 2 weeks trip with my parents, and when he didn’t reply for like few hours I got jealous and worried. He was angry but also worried about me that I don’t enjoy the moment but only think about him. I’m sure now he felt crowded.
    And yes, after I came back he broke up with me again. He told me he wanted to come pick me up at the airport, but he made his decision to break up with me and to stay friends so he didn’t want to upset me or give me false hope. We talked, I cried, whole night I gave him terrible messages but he said that he doesn’t care as long as I’m in his life and he kept on repeating how important I am to him. The next day I asked him to come pick up his stuff and he did appear twice this day, before and after work. We hugged, he brought me a meal and it was really great. We stayed friends for 12 days, and to be honest it was better than before. He cared more, I was much calmer and gave him more space, but on the day 12th he didn’t replied for 5 hours and I asked him straightforward if he was on a date, and he said “kinda, yes”. And I declined his offer to meet at the cinema the next day, he apologized, he waited the next day for me at the cinema and told me how upset and sorry he was that I wasn’t there and he didn’t want to hurt me… But it was just too much to me, I wrote him just that I do think he is a kind, good person but he just acted unfair towards me. And then I found your blog and it’s my 8th day of NC. I still have feelings for him, but I mostly do miss him as a wonderful friend he was, but I know that at the moment I just can’t stand him going out with another person. Maybe I do need to teach myself this coolness, being UG girl, heal myself and then I can try again to contact him, now I know I’m just too emotional to handle it properly like you described in your blogs.
    During NC I try my best to do things for myself and become the better version of myself. To regain my confidence, self-worth, to just make myself feel better in a healthy way. I signed for shooting class (guns and bows- as it was always something I wanted to do), I picked up more training and classes to teach (I’m a private tutor), I spend more time with my family and try to travel even a bit or take walks (often without my phone), I also signed up first time in my life for a photo session with professional make-up. I always dreamed about it too, to have really nice pictures of myself but I was always too afraid. I think this is the best time to do that. And if by the way I can remind my ex how pretty and awesome I am, I think it’s for the best 🙂
    I have to admit, doing NC is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. And I am aware that if I do tried to get my ex back this will be another, probably even harder process. And no matter how strongly I want to contact him, I know that I have to be prepared for it, in order to try my best but this time do it much more wisely, with more confidence and awareness and I have to be prepared for the worst. I really agree with your moving on without moving on philosophy, some time ago I found this quote in some book “in order to get it, one must forget it” and I think it’s something similiar. So, I just hope in another 22 days I will get ready to “forget” him, so I can “get” him 🙂 Unfortunately, 7 days are not enough for me, but I also need to give myself time, work on my patience and just think positive 🙂

    1. Chris Seiter

      February 24, 2019 at 7:01 pm

      Yes Agata…NC can be challenging emotionally on some levels, but it can be a godsend on helping you get focused on your healing/recovery. Consider picking up my 245 page eBook, “The No contact Rule Book” if you need a deeper dive!

  9. Ashley

    May 11, 2018 at 3:58 am

    Hi there, my bf broke up with me out of the blue around two months ago. We’re college students. We hadn’t been together very long, just three months. Still, I thought we were going strong. But the break up surprised me since he said he lost the spark. There were other reasons thrown in as well but he cited that as the main reason. I hadn’t felt us drifting apart so his reason confused me. Two days after the break up, I asked to talk about what happened again but he refused. He said we needed time and we could talk in a few weeks if I still wanted to. But he hoped we would stay friends. I didn’t contact him for three weeks. Then when I texted him, asking to talk again, he refused and said we just needed to move on. So the day after, I sent him a long text telling him it was too bad he went back on his word. And that he should have just talked to me about any concerns he had during our relationship instead of pretending everything was ok. And I also told him that once he was thinking of ending things, he should not have still acted like he cared. At the end of the message, I just thanked him for reading it. The whole thing was quite sterile in tone. A few days went by and he suddenly unfriended me on Snapchat and Facebook after I posted a selfie on the former. I was shocked and hurt. And then I found out from friends that he was avoiding me. True enough, he acted like we were strangers when we attended the same events. Another three weeks went by and I posted an Instagram story for the first time. The next day, I saw that he had viewed my story but I also saw that he unfollowed me right after.
    His actions really confuse me and I’m not sure what all of it means. I’ve been reading EBR’s articles and find the perspective they provide really interesting. What do you think I should do based on my situation?

    1. Chris Seiter

      May 11, 2018 at 4:28 am

      Hi Ashley…Its hard to know the mind of some guys. Perhaps he is just not relationship material at this time in his life. I am not sure what his past history is with other girls or if he even talked about that with you. I know it hurts. But accept that you may never get clarity from him and in the scheme of things, you shouldn’t think in terms of you did anything wrong. There is really no wrong and right with such things. Its beyond that and there are no words to appropriately describe what I mean. We all are making connections, some stick, some don’t.

      If you are looking for some support, you might consider my Private Facebook Support Group Community…It has about 1500 women in it now and there is a lot of synergy and sharing. You can learn more at my website Menu/Products link. The way I see it, the future is always moving with many possibilities. I see different paths we can all take. With experience and good common sense, we can choose a path that leads us to better places in our lives.

    2. Ashley

      May 11, 2018 at 7:03 am

      I was the longest relationship he had ever been in. And I do know that in his previous relationships he was the one who was dumped.
      Thank you for your reply. I really appreciate it. I’ll look for that group you suggested.

    3. Chris Seiter

      May 11, 2018 at 3:03 pm

      So me may be a bit committment shy given the outcome of his previous relationship. Could be a little emotional scarring. As far as the Private Facebook Support Group you can learn more by going to my website Menu/products section and read about it

  10. Natasha

    May 8, 2018 at 1:37 am

    Hi my boyfriend for almost 4 months. We are both at our 30s. He had a couple nasty relationships and a divorce. He told me he has been seeing a psy. on his relationship problems. We were happy together and he said I am the best girlfriend that he ever had with the most “relaxing” relationship. However, he suddenly said he can’t feel the love anymore 2 weeks ago and he can’t get that back even if he tried so he decided he is happier being single and break up with me. We talked about this in person and told him I want another chance of us. He seems not very convinced that he can get that spark and says he wants to be single so I said lets cut off contact for the week first. I know it is only 4 months and probably moving on is the best option. But I really like him and do want to give it another try, given the short time we have been together, should I still stick to the 30days NC rule? And how can I get him back even if the reason of breakup is he fell out of love?

    1. Chris Seiter

      May 8, 2018 at 4:47 am

      Hi Natasha…well perhaps he thinks he knows what he wants in life, but sometimes our feeling can play tricks on our minds as to what is best for us. If you haven’t picked up my ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro, then you should consider it strongly as it is a comprehensive Guide that covers off on so many things you can do to optimize your chances. I do think NC is in order and remember, the focus during this time should be on you and your recovery. Just go visit my website Menu/products link and take a look at some of the resources there.

    2. Natasha

      May 8, 2018 at 12:42 pm

      Thanks Chris. I will stick to NC first and see if we can start off a conversation lightly first…..

    3. Chris Seiter

      May 8, 2018 at 2:41 pm

      Hi Natasha…best of luck to you

  11. Lynn

    April 14, 2018 at 4:30 pm

    Hi, my bf of 9months and i ended it just last week. We are both matured professionals in our 40s with kids; him in the final stage of divorce while i am separated. We were also in a LDR; different countries, 2hours flight fr each other. When we were still together, he would visit me vice versa every month, he himself even planning it so we get to see each other physically, while maintaining communication daily. We met online and hit it off well because our marital situation was/is very similar ie abusive. We were each other’s support system, best friends. But my temper, or what he described as “anger that leads to irrational behaviour” was a dealbreaker to him. Hes a terrific guy; very patient, one who seeks to resolve rather than bury the issue and cares deeply for me and the wellbeing of my kids. But i have my insecurities – our LDR amplified by the fact that our relationship was kept under covers because of his on-going divorce and my ‘still legally married’ status, meaning no one knows of the relationship other than he and I. He broke it off because he said he couldn’t handle my anger and irrational behaviour (behaviour i believe is caused by the LDR and that our relationship is not open). He did maintain that he treasured our friendship and wants to remain friends but i told him i prefer a clean break and not be friendzoned/friends for obvious reasons. We continue texting 2 days into the breakup, mainly cos he was concern about one of my kids. But yesterday i decided to apply no contact with him soon after i came across this website. Character-wise, he is a very rational thinker (an ESTJ in the MBTI scale) so he compartmentalize feelings vs thinking very well. Would NC rule work on such person? I love him dearly and believe we are good for each other eventho he thinks we are incompatible (i am a ISFJ). But like i said, hes a thinker thus he thinks more of the incompatibility rather than complementary (his E vs my I; his T vs my F). I also truly believe he decided to break it off because (1) he is taking up a more demanding role at work; (2) his teenage kids are starting to show signs of distress cos of the divorce and, (3)the divorce process itself.My question is (1) do i apply the 21days or 30days rule?; (2) would the NC rule work on Thinker like him? Since hes a Thinker and i am terrified the move may backfire; (3) i was a bit emotional when he broke it (cried my eyes out and asked that we speak face to face instead of doing it over the phone); did i break the cardinal rule of a NVC already?

    1. Chris Seiter

      April 18, 2018 at 4:58 am

      Hi Lynn….I agree…this is a tough time for him. So giving him space (thru No contact) will help in that respect. Maybe up to 14 days. Then just a little feeler text. If you haven’t already gotten a copy of my ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro, give it some thought because it is rather comprehensive it could prove very useful. I talk about Psychological Reactance which all of us succumb to, no matter how smart we are. Our brains are wired in a certain where is it difficult to bypass the circuits.

    2. lynn

      April 18, 2018 at 6:16 am

      Hi Chris, thanks for the reply. I really hope Psychological Reactance works on him cos he is very rational and stubborn at times I just don’t know how to get through to him. And due to his abusive childhood, he is very cold and lacks emotions, even to his own children (IMO). I will try the 14days NC and see how it goes.

    3. Chris Seiter

      April 18, 2018 at 11:15 pm

      Best of luck Lynn!

  12. ChiChi

    April 12, 2018 at 8:55 pm

    Hi, my boyfriend of 2 year broke up with me 3 weeks ago. I handled the actual break up with grace, we’re both about to graduate college and he’s terrified of the future. So I accepted his heartfelt break up, of course cried, but have known for sometime that he had way too much on his mind. 1 week later I did write him a lengthy message recapping where I thought we went wrong in the relationship and basically saying I didn’t think this had to be the end. He responded that one day he would probably be kicking himself because of how great I am (smirks because I know) but that based on how he feels right now we can’t be together. I also reached out to one of our mutual friends just saying that he has a lot on his plate and not a lot of people to talk to, please keep an eye on him. I know. I did two bad things. But since then, I’ve been 2 weeks no contact, only problem I run into him at the bars often. I usually pretend he doesn’t exist but we have made eye contact that feels like it last an eternity. Am I on the right path?

    1. Chris Seiter

      April 12, 2018 at 9:53 pm

      Hi Chi Chi…really cool name. Yes, i think you are on the right path. NC works for a lot of people. Its meant to help you heal and focus on your needs and also help you with rebuilding the attraction. Just make sure you have a good plan. If you need a thorough template on how to proceed just click on my website menu/Products and take a look around. Lots of good resources there.

  13. lavanya

    April 8, 2018 at 3:22 am

    ita been 10days since we broke up. But not exactly. I hurt him badly. He was so angry at me and didnt reply to my txt. I implemented no contact. But within 5days he texted me normally. The next day he tried hard to bring back the emotiona that he felt. at the end of the day he fought wit me and ended up saying i dont feel like coming back. I am relaxed now. I am now just confused. He never officially broke up though this can be considered as breaking up. I did those mistakes like begging and all that. I really want to get back to him but he is not in that state. he feels he is actually wrong in lovng me coz i didnt blive him…the entire fight stadrted when i began to feel he ll leave and startef pestering the same by askng him. I know i have triggered it and ended badly by saying hurtful things ina the heat of the moment..Do i even have a chance of getting back to him? how do i proced further?

    1. Chris Seiter

      April 10, 2018 at 3:58 am

      We see a ton of situations exactly like this so don’t feel that you have the first unique situation in mankind! Also, I think you have as good of a chance as you will give yourself. Allow me to explain that statement. Half the battle isn’t understanding what to do it’s about executing.

    2. lavanya

      April 10, 2018 at 4:31 am

      yes chris. I m ready to execute. But then he initiates contact everyday. He wants to converse with me. Infact calls me if he hasnt seen me online for rest of the day.He is pretty confusing. He shows interest at the same time says he doesnt want to come back. He is in absolute control of the situation. He neither comes nor goes Here should I start no contact rule or just keep the conversation going? If at all I initiate no contact at this point will it push him away? I ask this because when i offered him space he said “if at all i go on a break coz of anger i ll never return back.”

    3. Chris Seiter

      April 10, 2018 at 11:49 pm

      It’s like he wants to bully in to replying, but does not yet now what he wants. He is sorta fixed on you like a drug, I think Yes, I see the risk. Perhaps slowly wean him off….sort of a Wean Off No Contact Strategy. That way nothing sudden happens to blow up your chances and hopefully he will show his true cards in the near future.

  14. Jazmin Issac

    March 30, 2018 at 10:44 am

    Hi my boyfriend and me lived tgthr for 18 months broke up with me a week ago because I became too possessive and also we had a bad ending since we live together and frst few days I dint contact him because he had blocked me n so I sent him a long text saying day he should do fine and bring success in life but days went by and I was trying to move on it was OK at first but then yesterday I came to his room to talk about what was happening thinking dat I might convince him and so I tried to hold on to him saying sorry I extended my limits but he is not willing to be back with me but still I tried thinking dat he will want me later n now I feel I sudnt have begged him as he was saying he needs a time off….and ol so I don’t know how to get him back I seemed too desperate but now I wont

    1. Chris Seiter

      April 3, 2018 at 2:05 am

      I have a question.

      Are you guys still living together/

  15. Chloe

    March 21, 2018 at 8:26 pm

    My ex boyfriend broke up with me around a month ago now, i didnt beg i just asked him if he was sure? And he said yes. I left him alone I started doing all the things id wanted to do, driving, applying for jobs, the gym, making plans ect, he constantly watched my snapchat and instagram closely even though id unfriended him, i occasionally got a rude message asking if i ever cheated and i gave in only because i wanted to justify myself but i kept it rather blunt, he tried again and again these messages started to become rather sexual, i told him i would not entertain him. I posted a picture at the cinema watching a film, he assumed this was a date and i recieved a message that evening where are you? Id decided to not reply to his messages anymore at all even if i was being blunt, i had another and another, he wanted to come and collect his belongings from my house, so i went out to the car dumped them on the back seat he said please get in i just want to talk to you, he got rather upset asking me who this other guy was i said dont ask me anything to do with my personal life, we talked abit more about how life was going and he asked again who is the guy and do i really like him and said i hope he makes you happy then, i left and he messaged saying how nice i looked i said thankyou. He then viewed my snapchat again of me out for a meal and messaged saying how many dates are you going on? And is this the guy your trying to go further with? I told him not to ask me about these things and to take care. I havnt heard from him since? Am i just pushing him away?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 27, 2018 at 12:42 pm

      Hi Chloe,

      If you kept answering him and just end up fighting with him, yes, you are pushing him away.. If you’re going to do nc, you have to stop replying to him…

  16. Sukrutha

    March 7, 2018 at 2:46 am

    Hello. I have been reading the articles on this site for a while now. Me and my ex were together for 5 months. It was a LDR except for initial 3 weeks. He lives in France and me in India. He broke up with me because I had asked 2-3 times for it and it led him into depression. Even after breakup we were in touch for a month. It was on and off. But 2 days ago he called it off totally and I begged a lot to him to not do this. I am not very proud of the begging. Now he says he has to focus on himself and build himself back up again. So he needs time. And he wants to fall out of love with me. Which hurt the most. I did the NC and within a day he texted about a conversation we had earlier. I haven’t replied to it. Should I continue the NC? What are the chances of him getting back with me given that he is under depression?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 10, 2018 at 8:17 pm

      Hi Sukrutha,

      Have you tried our quiz? Why did you ask for break ups before? If you’re on and off follow the advice on this one:
      How To Get An On Again/Off Again Boyfriend Back

  17. Bee

    March 5, 2018 at 3:23 pm

    Hi, my ex and I broke up a few days ago and since then I have been reading your posts and figuring out that getting him back or just moving on isn’t as hard as it seems. I am putting the NO Contact Rule in to action, besides when we figure out giving our things back to one another, but even then I’ll make it short and sweet and stay classy.
    Our break up was partially a mutual decision by the end although it started off with his thoughts initially. We didn’t have a bad break up, no arguments, just having what seemed like a mature adult conversation. I have been reading the articles you guys have put up since the break up because I still have hope. My initial gut instincts and thoughts where ‘this isn’t over. I don’t believe it. We just need time to figure out ourselves before we get back together.’ and I’m no psychic but I feel that is all it is.
    When we had the conversation about breaking up, he told me that I need to become more mature and figure out how to work well with money, and I’m indirectly going to insure him that that is what I can do. I do not believe I am an immature person, but I do believe there are aspects of me that do seem immature, such as mood swings.
    Another point I have is that he says he still wants to be friends. To me this is him saying that there is a possibility of us getting back together if I do change what he has mentioned to me and there is that possibility that he will regret his decisions down the line as I have realised that even in the attempt of us still being friends, there will always be strings attached. He said he’s still there for me and cares, trust and respects me. So that is giving me hope that it will work out.
    I forgot the mention that we were in a relationship for 15 months that meant the world to both of us and made us both better people in individual ways.
    Do you think there is hope for us getting back together if I have already started putting these points in to action?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 10, 2018 at 12:39 pm

      Hi Bee,

      If you are improving, yes, you do.. Have taken our quiz?

  18. Laina

    March 3, 2018 at 11:35 pm

    Hi me and my ex were together for a year and all of a sudden he told me since January he wasn’t feeling the love for me anymore. He told me he still cared about me and that I was a attractive and beautiful girl and he wished he still felt love for me. He told me pretty harsh like “I don’t love you anymore what do you want me to do about it” which made my case even worse because the timing of him breaking up with me was really bad because of family issues I had. We go to school together and I acted desperately after he told me he didn’t want to talk to me anymore. I begged for him back and said if we would try again and I’d do anything. Which made it even worse was he told me while we were together he liked another girl and would casually stare at her when I wasn’t around. I found out her sexuality was different from his and she was only interested in girls. He was really hurt by the matter and I wanted to be friends with him to comfort him which he wanted to do the same for me. I really want him back and I let him know that I still loved him and what not, but just recently I let him know that it wasn’t okay the way he treated me and it was very rude and hurtful on my end. I decided I wouldn’t talk to him, but then again we do go to school together…would no contact rule still work if I act positively around him and not talk to him?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 7, 2018 at 2:01 pm

      Hi Laina,

      Nc is not guaranteed in any situation but it helps increase your chances.. Follow this one:
      EBR 009: The No Contact Rule If You Work With Your Ex

  19. Des

    February 25, 2018 at 2:05 pm

    Boyfriend and I met around two months after he officially cut all ties with his terrible ex of a year and four months. (Their last four months was just attempting to be something but not really together) and he said i helped him forget and he never felt the emotions that he felt with me with her. Their relationship was one sided and he gave her everything. So I figured that meant i was pretty special to make him feel more than he felt with her.

    Anyways we were together for around 5-6 months and at first it was perfect and we were incredibly in love quickly. But he gained distant and we broke up for 2 days but stayed in contact and he eventually told me he made a mistake. Then one month later he said he thought things would get easier but they hadn’t and he didn’t see things working out, so I told him we needed to break up then. He agreed and i gave him what stuff i could find in my place to him and he left. Its been 2 1/2 days …. ive broken no conctact twice by telling him i still loved him and hoped we could eventually reconnect even of its just friends. He agreed and then i asked later that night if he would think about us being together if he still loves me and he said he did and he will. Now idk if those things were just pity or real but it calmed me a bit. But now i have to start my no contact and idk what to do. How long or if its even possible bc of my previous reach outs. Again its not even been three days and i broke. And i just want hope that we can ome back together once we matured and realized our flaws.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 27, 2018 at 12:32 pm

      Hi Des,

      do at least 30 days.. have you tried our quiz?

  20. Julia

    February 24, 2018 at 2:49 pm

    My ex of 1,5 years broke up with me 1 week and a half ago for St.Valentines. That day everything was fine and we were talking about what to cook for dinner, 5 hours later he came to pick me up from work, he was crying, i thought something bad happened but he said that he was very sorry but had to break up with me. I could not understand anything, i was in shock, everything was fine some hours ago, so I cried, he cried…he said he had been thinking for a while and he can’t make me happy and give me what i need. After both crying for a while he started to ask me what i thought and how i was feeling but i was just in shock and could not say anything else than “i can’t believe it”. He also mentioned that we come from different worlds and it wouldn’t work (we come from different countries, his family is more wealthy… but we have been together for more than a year and that has never been an issue, i dont get why it could be now). I tried to understand but nothing made sense, I was sad so I begged him to please reconsider, then I was angry and I just decided to leave with a “thank you for the best valentines ever, f*** you” . My family says that he might have another girl (they dont know him) but i know he doesn’t, i asked him and he said no and also that he had never cheated on me, and i believe him on that.
    And that was it. We didn’t talk anymore until 3 days later when I wrote him to meet up in a few days to talk, since there was not much talking the day of the break up. He said it is still to soon for him and it would be to emotional, he said he doesn’t want to lose contact with me but for now is too soon and we should meet next week (2 weeks after the break up),I told him that I have been thinking about everything and I would like to have some explanations because I am still very confused, he said that he also wants to talk about it but that is important that i understand that talking its not going to change the situation, because it was a very hard decision for him to make but he won’t change it. I said that i will not try to change his decisions that the only thing i want to do is talk and get some explanations. So we will meet next Thursday.
    After all that, I have been thinking and reading a lot, even though I still dont understand all his reasons. In his last relationship they were together for 8 months or so, he left her because he was not in love, he said. I have been his longest and most serious relation, he has said that many times to me, he introduced me to the family and we traveled together. We never talked about children or marriage, we are still 29, but we had future plans for traveling and events together.
    His parents had rough divorce when he was younger and since the beginning he had told me he has some issues with relationships. And now is where I see my mistakes, I did not pay attention to that and I went on with the relationship at my pace, without thinking i might have been pressuring him. He has lots of friends and is very close to his family, he likes to travel, and I like that about him, but since I don’t have that for myself so much, I have become needy and made him my only focus. We always had the same discussion, we never fought for anything else than his lack of attention to me, I was always upset and not happy when he was not with me and not paying attention. I know now that this might have been to overwhelming and frustrating and even more for a person who needs more time to develop his feelings. I didn’t bring balance into the relationship and now thats why he says he cant make me happy and give me what i need, because what i needed is not something i should need, i need to have other things in my live, not just a boyfriend. I ditched my friends when they wanted me to go out, I didn’t have fun if i wasn’t with him.
    And now that I thought about all that I wanted to talk to him next Thursday and explain to him what i think about what went wrong.
    But last night I couldn’t help myself and I wrote it all down in an email. I wasn’t sure if it was just for me to have written somewhere so I could memorize it or to send it to him..in the end i was weak, and i sent it. I sent it with no expectations of a reply, because it was just an explanation of my point of view into what went wrong and how i need to improve myself and after I do that, with some time and patience we could be together even happier than before.
    Now of course he hasn’t replied, and I am not planning on writing him or contacting him until we see each other next week.
    However, I am still in so much pain and confusion, I can not understand how all of a sudden he decided he didn’t want me in his life anymore but cried so much when doing it. I think about if he misses me, what is he doing, is he still sad, is he having fun?…I would like to have some advice into what should i do now when i see him next week, what can i expect from him since he already said he wont change his mind…

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 27, 2018 at 11:17 am

      Hi Julia,

      Use it to establish a clean slate..tell him being friends is not workable for you right now and thank him fir everything.. Dont tell him about the nc rule..

1 2 3