What Is It That Makes An Ex Boyfriend Want To Come Back After A Breakup?

517 thoughts on “What Makes An Ex Boyfriend Want To Come Back After A Breakup?”

T

March 27, 2015 at 2:55 pm

My boyfriend of 3.5 years and I broke up lastnight. Well he broke up with me. I’m so confused about what to do and want to get him back but I don’t know how! Situation is we were together for 10months then I had to leave and we tried to stay together but lasted only 3 months then he broke up at that time because it was “too hard and he needed more normal in his life”. We got back together when I came back after being away from each other (no contact at all during that time) that was a period of about 5 months. When we got back together he was so happy and completely in love with me. Problem here is when he was telling me while we were apart that he didn’t talk to or try to even meet any other girls while we were apart. I found out that he had lied about that and that there were a couple of girls he had texted with and so forth. So I became mistrusting of him and I made the horrible mistake of going through his phone and found other lies that he had told me. So we had a long talk about everything, more than once or twice and he said each time that he didn’t want to lose me and that he didn’t want to break up. Now, two weeks ago after the last year of arguing back and forth about those issues. (those were the only things we fought about) all other aspects of our relationship are great. Anyway two weeks ago I found him watching videos on how to pick up other women which naturally hurt me so I asked him about it, we discussed it and he said that he didn’t want anyone but me. Last week he called me everyday and we had good talks and this week he messaged me like he used to and said “i love you” on Mon and Tues. Then when we talked lastnight at 7 and he said he missed me and we talked about seeing each other this weekend, then I called him back at 10 and he had been drinking and said that he hasn’t been happy for a long time and that he didn’t want to try to “he loves me but he doesn’t want to pursue this any further” what the hell? Can anyone offer any advice? I feel like I can’t breathe right now and I want to call him but I know better as I know that wouldn’t go over well. He agreed for us to get together tomorrow night and talk further but maintains he isn’t going to change his mind. Help me, someone!
Sav

March 24, 2015 at 4:21 am

Hi Chris,

So my boyfriend and I dated 4 months and everything was going amazingly. He’s a senior and I’m a sophomore at the same college. After we became exclusive he introduced me to his family and friends and I did the same. His family, friends, and I got along very well. My boyfriend told me he loved my family and friends and my friends and family loved him.

We never fought once, we had the same values, and both wanted the same things in life. We hadn’t been together for a very long time so we didn’t have any serious discussions about the future, but everything felt very secure. He had a 4 year relationship that ended almost 2 years before, but he never brought it up so it never bothered me.

He told me that everything about me felt “right” and was so happy. We enjoyed the same things, we played songs and cooked together, and I began to fall in love and I was sure that he did too. I had never felt this way about anyone before. We hung out with each other at least twice a week and always had the best time.

Around 3 months into our relationship, he began to stress out a lot because he was trying to get into dental school. I supported him as much as I could while giving him plenty of space. He told me that getting to see me was what was getting him through this stress.

Then out of the blue, he texted me the morning before we were going to spend the day together and said “I’m really sorry but we really need to talk”. So he came over to my house and told me that our relationship wasn’t where it should be and “his feelings weren’t progressing”. I told him that I understood and he hoped that we could remain friends.

I took the breakup extremely well while it happened but after he left I couldn’t believe this was happening. It was so sudden and the relationship made me happier than I ever was. I can’t believe that he lost feelings for me after acting like I meant so much to him. None of my friends saw it coming either… they said that he appeared to be in love with me.

I haven’t been in contact with him since the breakup, 2 weeks ago. So Chris, my questions are: do you think it is worth trying to get him back? Or should I just move on?

Thanks 🙂

admin

March 29, 2015 at 2:01 pm

Well that was unexpected! Those are some of the hardest breakups because you are blind-sided but the good news is that you reacted perfect to it. Probably because you were so surprised that you were in shock. The emotion hit you later. It really depends on you if you want him back or not. It will take a lot of work. Is he currently in dental school? There was something more to the breakup he just didn’t tell you. No one breaks up out of the blue with no hints. Can you think of any small hints that he may have shown you?
Sav

March 30, 2015 at 4:42 pm

Thanks for your response!

He’s only applying to dental school, he still has another year before he attends. We’ll be living two doors down from each other next year which should be interesting… but after 3 weeks of no longer being with him, I’ve decided that if he wants me back, he can work for it. Being away from him made me realize that I did everything I could to make him happy, and if he can’t accept that then I deserve better. 🙂

Thanks again for the advice!

Amberly

March 20, 2015 at 9:32 pm

so i’ve been reading your articles a lot lately and i have to admit , these work cuz i’ve done some of them . but im kind of in a mess right now . my ex broke up with me cuz he took what i said the wrong way and this was a month and a half ago . ever since , i didnt contact him cuz i mean why should i ? oh and i moved states away by the way so we dont see each other anymore and he was pretty pissed about it . anyway , he contacted me a few days ago saying he’s been thinking about me lately and so i replied to him and all and eventually he said that he still loves me and that he always will . when we were together he said i love you first and now he’s like doing it again . so i asked him what he really wanted from me and he said that i was the most attractive girl he dated and he doesn’t want to just lose me forever . i really need help. can you please help me or give me advice on what i should do?

admin

March 22, 2015 at 4:33 pm

What did you say exactly?

Vanessa

March 20, 2015 at 3:57 am

Me and my boyfriend dated for one year, the 10 months were perfect we were both sooo in love he is or was my first love and i was his, he would always tell me not to leave him because i would break his heart if i did. On November he started changing we would see each other and everything was perfect like always except when i would go back home i would send him texts and he wouldn’t reply even if he was online. That would really get me mad so i would argue with him and he would say to calm down and not think wrong, one day we argued really bad that he broke up with me i cried to him on the phone because we usually would never break up and this time it seemed serious. After two days i messaged him and told him can we fix things he said sure when we saw each other he told me he was really mad and thats why he did it i believed him so we got back then on december he broke up with me and i we agreed to be friends because he said it was temporary, he would still text me once in a while then on january he told me to hang out with him i agreed so we saw each other and we got back but then two days later he dumped me again. Then on half of the month january he had put a fake relationship status with another girl even though they weren’t dating they kissed and stuff i bet. On february 21 he quit talking to her because he never wanted nothing serious not even a relationship with her, he called me and he started telling me about old memories with me, we saw each other and we kissed and cuddled everything just felt so right and normal like if we had never broken up before he told me he still liked me. But when i asked he said that he didn’t want to get back just yet an that later on we will get back it broke my heart because i actually thought he wanted me back for real this time. I talked to my sister and she said he is just being dumb right now and that later on he will want me back because deep inside he still loves me… What should i do? Do you think we will get back? Does he really love me? Will he want to get bak soon? by the way we are 16 almost 17
anonymous

March 12, 2015 at 6:26 pm

Hi Chris,
my situation is very complicated. Ive known this guy since I was 14, im 24 now. We’ve been hooking up for four years and i fell for him really hard. Ive tried to talk to him about starting a relationship but he always used excuses saying “im just very attracted to you thats all”. I forgot to mention that our families know eachother and he lives 5 mins away from me. So back in June of 2014, we had sex (i took his virginity) , I thought I was pregnant and told him I missed my period. He tells me hes getting married in 3 weeks!! I was shocked and confused. he pleaded i get an abortion, he booked an appointment and took the day off work. I told him i dont even know if i am pregnant for sure and he snapped! He said some very petty things like “you know what im going to go up to your dad and tell him everything that I did with you”. He then wanted to take me to the docs to find out if I was pregnant so we went and he made a scene infront of the docs embarassing me telling her “I faked this whole pregnancy and that she needs to talk to me”. The doctor got pissed off and kicked him out of the room. Afterwards, he drove me back to my car and just started with his abusive remarks. I also broke into tears and i could tell he felt bad but he didnt apologize. I also paid him back for the abortion deposit. After that day we didnt contact each other BUT what i find so bizarre is that he still has me on his phone (he has me on whatsapp). My parents also attended his reception in December. I forgot to mention his marriage was arranged and he told me hinself he rushed his marriage so that we stop seeing eachother. Its been 8 months and i havent contacted him nor has he. Ive kept strong this long. Do you feel he will ever contact me? I do believe that if he wasnt bound by our traditions, things could have gone a different way.

admin

March 13, 2015 at 8:26 pm

He rushed his marriage so he wouldn’t have to see you?

If he is married to someone else then it might be a good idea to move on at this point.

Robyn Foster

March 4, 2015 at 9:59 am

Hi last night my boyfriend of 4 years out of the blue came over my house while I was out dropping my stuff off with a letter. In the letter it said that he’s depressed and he can’t cope with my much pain he’s put me through the years and he’s realized that now, he said he loves me but think its for the best that we go our separate ways. It was so out of the blue and heartbreaking he has been depressed and off with me for a couple of weeks. When I got the call from my parents saying he left me a letter I came home and instantly deleted him off everything even his number I’m just so annoyed and upset with him. Do you think he will miss me and cone back? I just don’t understand he told me he loved me everyday even when I didn’t contact him as I was giving him space. This was so out of the blue :,(

admin

March 7, 2015 at 4:40 pm

If he came over out of the blue that tends to be a good sign.
Mary Ellen

March 12, 2015 at 3:30 am

I seen this comment and had to respond to you , my boyfriend one week after our 5 year anniversary broke it off with me for very similar reasons. He said he was going down a dark road , hated his life and needed a drastic change . I reacted pretty much the same as you at first but eventually came to terms with it as I loved him so much I’d rather see him happy without me than depressed with me. Two months after the break up he moved 5 thousand miles away to start a new life on his own .. I decided I wanted him back, I came to this site and used it as a bible now 5 months post break up we just had our first phone call today.. He even said how much he thinks of us all the time , cares so much about me and I was the best girlfriend .. By the end of the call he actually asked me if he could call tomorrow! So Robyn , yes , read this site , live this site and you will get your boyfriend back.

sammy

February 28, 2015 at 11:49 am

Hi Chris. I dated this guy for 3 months. He is living with his ex who is his flat mate. He realised he has made a mistake with the flat mate, but that happened 2 years ago and he is still sharing a house with the flat mate. To me I don’t keep contact with my ex ever, I have never been in this situation. I am finding hard to deal with. This is causing a lot of issues in our relationship. I spoke to my boyfriend about it but I don’t think he understand the situation. I got so upset last Saturday I told him things I should like I was not the person he should go out with, but go with the flat mate. That it was over between us but I didn’t really mean it I was furious with him. Five days since we last spoke. I don’t know whether I should contact him or let him think about things. Please help. thank you
mary anne

February 23, 2015 at 8:34 am

ex broke up with me right when i came home from work. we didnt fight. anyways, he hasnt contacted me at all during the nc period and its been 1 month and 2 weeks since weve broken up. is that a bad sign? the weird thing is i heard from his roommate that he misses me, but yet he wont call me? what does it mean?

admin

February 23, 2015 at 9:42 pm

It means he is stubborn! Haha.

Charell

February 19, 2015 at 12:43 am

My partner and i broke up about a month and a bit ago. we was in a relationship for 3 and a half years and he proposed to me in cuba september last year. The engagement was lovely because we had talked about our views on marriage early on in the relationship and its something we both wanted someday but felt the same about no pressure to do so right away so things can kind of happen naturally. We got back off holiday in cuba and i was really ill with a tropical bug that lasted for weeks. Then following that i had what seems very clear now a nervous mental brakedown it was devestating. I was at my lowest point he was there in bits and pieces for me while i was in hospital and recoving with family at home but i needed more from him at the time. so i slowly started to get better with help home visits from docs and nurses as it affected my also physically for a while. just as i was getting better his brother split with his gf and moved back into the family home, we got into an arguement ovet that and i took my ring off in front of him and said i can’t do this anymore i was very confused upset and disorientated. He was calm did nothing said to me yes i feel like you have changed since your brakedown and he feels like we are drifting apart. This crushed me i was confused and it almost sent me spiriling back in hospital. We got back in contact after 2 weeks apart i made the first texts and so fourth we was on talking terms i wanted to meet up again, i wanted answers it still wasn’t being clear what he feels towards me. It was Then as we were seeing each other again and meeting up talking about relationship stuff i started to notice a small pattern when i asked about his feelings he closed up and said he can’t take this and he doesnt want to see me anymore. so once again i Felt hurt but stood my ground and did not cry as much as before and left we hugged goodbye for what felt like the final time. Then we somehow slipped into this ‘friends with benefits thing’ which he initiated and i said i wasn’t sure and that i want more from him and from the relationship than just sex. So i tried it and had to stop it after a couple of times as it just reminded me how much i deeply loved him so we had another heart to heart and this time emotions were still high i cried but for all the stuff we have been through and because i feel emotionally drained. He told me he cares for me but the feelings he had before arent there anymore and he said i should let go of my feelings for him too. So i text and told him i still love him but he had now left me no choice but to brake contact with him and move on. Its been 4 days and no contact has been made from either side. i feel like i cannot move on yet and its frustrating!

admin

February 20, 2015 at 11:06 pm

Well, I wouldn’t let go of your feeling completely until you exhaust all your tries at getting him back (if you still want him back.)

Jenny

February 10, 2015 at 11:50 am

Hi Chris,
I’d been with this guy for the best part of 7 months and I really do love him to bits. We broke up a week and a half ago. We’d had a brief breakup in November, which I initiated because we were bickering a bit and I don’t think I was very sure about the relationship. Anyway, as soon as we’d broken up Id realised Id made a huge mistake and went to see him to talk about things and said I’d made a mistake etc. We got back on track pretty quickly- started seeing each other again. Over Christmas we both had just over a month off university at home and we spent a lot of that time together- whether it be lazy days, going to the cinema, nights out with friends, etc. We built up something that was a lot stronger than before (it took the breakup for me to realise quite how much I loved him) and we were best friends too. Anyway the week before I was going back to uni he asked me to be his girlfriend again and surprised me with a meal and a rose. Obviously I was delighted and said yes. However, 2 weeks later, he broke up with me. About 3 days days leading up to the breakup we were arguing a fair bit, but it was because of my external personal circumstances that I was in such an emotional state and was very easy to argue with. He knew that and understood and I did apologise afterwards. I had even had a breakdown to him 4 days before the breakup saying how my emotions were spiralling and how it wasnt my fault and I didn’t want to fight with him and I was really sorry for having such a short fuse with him. He was sympathetic and comforted me. Anyway, one argument lead to a snap decision for him to break up with me. It was over the phone in the evening. However as soon as he did (and I hung up), he was a ‘frantic caller’ and rang me constantly. I decided when I wanted to pick up the phone. He was crying saying he didn’t know what to do anymore and that he loves me (left me a voicemail saying the same thing). The next day he said to me over skype that he’d made a mistake. Bearing in mind this was on Friday and Saturday and he had exams on the following Monday and Thursday, so he had that dominating his mind at the time. He wasn’t seeing me until the following Friday (a week after breakup) as he decided to come home from university then to talk to me. He said he loves me and cares about me but doesn’t want a relationship. He seemed pretty emotional, but seemed set in his decision. I wasn’t nasty about any of it I was just upset. He didn’t stay for that long and then left and we texted afterwards. I did the whole pathetic talking about how much I loved him and didn’t want this to happen etc for 2 days after we’d had that chat confirming the breakup. I then decided this was not a way forward and would get me nowhere. Sunday night was the last time I spoke to him (2days after the chat) and he said he wants us to stay close etc and he does love me but think distancing is what he needs for a little bit. Although I didn’t agree, I was polite about what he’d said and ended the conversation saying how I was going to bed and glad he got back to university safe that evening. He said ‘ok goodnight thanks:) x’ now I’ve always been someone who texts a lot so he probably thought I wouldnt have the will power to not text him but I decided it was a good thing to do. So, yesterday was the first day of no contact and I therefore didn’t message him. However, HE messaged ME saying hi and asking how I was doing. I didn’t respond. He then sent another message saying ‘are you okay?’ Now he already knows I’m not okay because of how much of a state I was in just the day before so I dont understand why he’s asking. I also don’t understand that if he was the one suggesting a bit of distance for a while then why is he initiating contact with me, especially texting me for a second time when I hadn’t responded to the first message? What is going on in his head and do you think me not responding will make him miss me? I would love to be back with him but are not putting all my hopes on it as he seemed pretty certain he didn’t want a relationship the other day. I love him and I do want him to miss me. Any idea of what he’s thinking and what I can do to give me the best chances? Please help me as thoroughly as you can. Many thanks.

admin

February 10, 2015 at 4:21 pm

I definitely think you not responding will make him miss you.

It seems like you haven’t tried that before.

Cloe

February 5, 2015 at 12:28 am

So about 3 weeks ago my boyfriend and I broke up. It was painful. We had dated for about a year and four months and he was the one that wanted it to be serious. He is what I call a runner. Whenever things get hard he takes off in the other direction. Anyway, We sat down and talked one night and came to the conclusion to ‘take a break’ but still be friends. More him than me on either of those. Over the course of two weeks after the breakup he keep giving me excuses as to why he didn’t want to be together: He wasn’t in love with me anymore, He wanted to concentrate on himself, we distracted each other from school and work, and a lot of other things I am not able to think of at the moment. When I asked him how long he wanted to take the break he said until we are able to get our lives together. Keep in mind this could be two years and that’s a long time! He replied that he is a patient guy. Since the breakup we have casually text each other (Literally like one or two texts each time), we see each other on campus, and we work together. At this point though my emotions are strung out. I honestly believe that we could work out just not right now. But I would still like for us to be able to be friends again (we were best friends before we started dating). What should I do? Any constructive advice would be nice. Any other questions about our relationship I am able to answer as well.

admin

February 5, 2015 at 3:31 pm

I don’t buy into the “getting lives together” comment and that he is patient.

I have seen way too much to believe that.
Cloe

February 26, 2015 at 5:14 am

How would you suggest to handle that? It has been about 6 weeks since the breakup and the past few days we have been casually texting (like he reaches out to me). But I never get the last word in. Whenever we are together (on campus; we always runs into each other) everything seems fine and we joke around like everything is fine, he asks me questions about his life and tells me what is going on in his. I did the NC for about 2 weeks but he is a sensitive guy (with an even larger ego and stubborn streak to match) and I knew that if I didn’t talk to him anymore he would get so pissed off he would throw a ‘hissy fit’.
How do you suggest I handle this situation?

Sharon

February 3, 2015 at 1:01 am

Hi, i need you help. Me and my ex broke up 2 weeks ago. I text and called him But there was no reply and i have stop contacting him for 4 days. We had a bad arguement and he said he doesnt loves me anymore. He said the feeling has faded long time ago but he wasn’t bear to hurt me or let go thid r/s. We had a break up a month ago and he kept me so i stayed. He told me to move on and he has not replied my text or calls since than. Im really hurt and im really sorry for what i have done. I think i have disrespected him in some ways which hurt him and he’s completing isolating me off his life. My sister called him and talked abt out issue and he was so angry. What should i do? He is 28.

admin

February 3, 2015 at 1:28 pm

She shouldnt have called him.

Follow the directions on this site. Use the NC rule.

Sandy

January 26, 2015 at 5:00 pm

Hi Chris, my ex and I broke up yesterday after 7 months of relationship. we started an arguement 2 days before, and we both texted each other that we should just let go and move on (I asked for it first, then he agrees to it. for me, just to pissed him off and to see if he cares) I asked to meet up that day to talk. He wasn’t willing to meet up. He said he’s honna meet up with fitness to talk because he’s so sad. I went to his house pick up all my stuff and left the key in his mailbox. The next day I went over to pick up the rest of the stuff that I forgot to pick up. He was there, we both suggest go it for a talk. He said something is missing in the relationship and he didn’t know what it is. And he said its not fair for me if he can’t 100% committ. He let me go. The whole day we together he was crying nonstop. I went home, he called me he was about to have panic attack for losing me and he said he’s gonna regret this. Back and forth he did these for two days, pushing me away ask me back. The last conversation he told me that he is lost. And he doesn’t know what he wants. He just doesn’t want to hurt me. He told me he is having a difficult time and want some time for self and not message each other. He ask if we can talk in a few week. Chris, what should I do in this situation. Do you think this guy is really done wh me. He swear that he loves me, it’s just there’s moment he has doubts. Please help

admin

January 27, 2015 at 2:20 pm

Funny, he says he doesn’t want to hurt you but thats what he is doing.

Umm… how old is he.

ANON

January 22, 2015 at 12:58 pm

Hi Chris, I 20 and dated this guy for about 2-3 months, he was super super keen and I wasn’t. I had no experience and he knew this saying he would be patient because he thought I was ‘it’ for him. He was always quite clingy and insecure but explained why he was like this so I was pretty careful to be understanding of his feelings when I was out or with other friends. Then after during this time he mentioned sex, I was a bit harsh about it, not being sure what my opinions were on it morally etc but he had known this from the start and with how much we loved each other I thought he would be understanding. I now understand from reading your site that it was possible he felt rejected by this and it was less to do with me that I thought. Then less than a week later he panicked and said he wasn’t going to be much of a boyfriend with the amount of work he had to do. I told him it was fine, that if we wanted to then his work was still important. He got drunk that night and came over apologising. A few days later he said he “didn’t feel as strongly” as before and so we became more casual as neither of us wanted to break up. The next few weeks we both made more of an effort, things were progressing physically and otherwise but as we were more casual I didn’t feel like he actually wanted me and therefore wouldn’t sleep with him. We would be texting flirty things and each time he would mention it it would feel like a hit a me. In hindsight this was too harsh on him but I told him it was harder for me when I wasn’t seeing him a lot. I then didn’t see him for a month, noticed him in contact with more girls and he went on holiday. Several times we had thought about getting back together properly but neither of us were willing to be the first the actually say it. Before leaving he said he would figure out what he wanted and when he came back he said he wanted to see me but also see other people. I said no, I wasn’t going from being someones girlfriend to being one of many. Then we stayed in contact, stupidly now I know from reading your site! For 3 months there, meeting up back and forth but he was literally demanding sex or he wouldn’t see me. I know he was scared of being trapped in a sexless relationship but my opinions had completely changed. I said if I thought he actually wanted to be with me then sex would happen but by saying it HAD to be tonight it did not feel like that. When we would meet we would be perfect then a day later he would go home think and break it off again saying it was “for the best” and that I could do better with someone lovely. I feel like we did have a good relationship but a lot of bad communication messed it up and I don’t feel like sex is or should be an issue but how in reconnecting do I get him to see that and not see me as a friend? I’ve being doing NC now for 2 weeks. Thanks, any help is appreciated!
Bambee

January 19, 2015 at 6:27 pm

Hi need urgent help on this!!!!!
Okay so me and my guy where dating just 11 months I didn’t want to be with him but when we got together I fell for him like a ton of bricks however when he was putting effort in I wasn’t because I didn’t want to get hurt just in case we broke up however when I started putting effort in it was too late and be broke up with me although a couple months Ago he kept saying he did love me but just liked being on his own and now it’s the same story just even more so he loves just being alone he dosent hang round other girls so I know he’s not lying but I love him and I want him back but what can I do !!
Please help he means the world to me thanks xxxxxxx

admin

January 20, 2015 at 3:38 pm

Go into NC!

Raquel

January 9, 2015 at 5:02 am

Hi.
I have had an on and off boyfriend for te past 2 years. We always break up because of stupid things he does but he always comes back. About 3 weeks ago we broke up because he stoped talking like he used to and stopped being romantic and all. I initiated the break up and he said he also did feel things were different and thought it was the best thing to do. He said he loved me and would never hurt me again and that he was sorry. 2 days later he talked to me for helped on a school assignment and I helped him. On Christmas i texted him and wished him a merry christmas. Now I haven’t talked to him and I really miss him, but he won’t even look at me in the eye. Do you think he is over me? Do you think he misses me? I think the breakup was his fault and he should come back but im afraid he might not this time.

admin

January 19, 2015 at 3:29 pm

Why do you think the breakup was his fault?

SW

December 30, 2014 at 2:14 am

My ex and I were in LDR before. (He studied abroad where I was in my own country)
We’ve broke up years before (sep 2013) due to lack of communications and he thought that I was emotional abusive to him and being too childish.
Throughout the year I’ve change to a better person, being more understanding and caring. We’ve got back together in Jan 2014 but we were still in LDR.
I paid a visit to his place 3 months ago (Oct 2014) and end up he seems cold and distant. There’s some times he tried to be good to me but some times he just went frustrated for unknown reason.
It has been a month he never contact with me since my last visit to his place.
He then called me at mid of Nov, saying that we should break up since we’ve tried our best yet he found that it’s not work. I tried to be calm, be genuine, we had almost 5 hours talk on the phone and at the end I agreed the break up because I want to leave him some spaces.
After the talk he sent me a text, said that maybe we need to meet one last time to ensure everything. He mentioned that the break up is killing him deep inside his heart. I never reply to the message and went to NC until few days before.
He text me that why is the town has been changing that much(probably hinting me that he’s back in town). And I replied in a very distant way as well. He never ask for out or anything.
At the same time, I found that he’s actually start seeing a new girl. (where I know this girl was introduced by his best friend, his best friend hates me a lot and always persuade him to chase after this girl. The girl is prettier, younger, sexier, from a rich family background. They studied in the same university before.)
I tried to text him a day ago. Nothing much, just telling him the new released movie was nice and recommend him to watch it. He read my message but didn’t want to reply me.
I’m not sure whether I still stand a chance. Is the situation seems hopeless ? Is he possibly moved on already ?
Throughout the year I’ve read a lot of books and related articles. Tried to be happy, work out and focus on myself. I felt great. Yet when knowing him started to see someone else, I felt so hurt.
Could you possibly provide me some opinion ?

admin

January 5, 2015 at 2:37 pm

Why do you think the girl is prettier, younger and sexier?

BETTY

December 26, 2014 at 6:03 am

My ex broke up with me almost three months ago. I tried o stay in scarce contact with him the first month, then after he negatively reacted and was rude to me, I dropped all contact up until this point. He broke up with me, stating that he couldn’t make time for me, was tired of me getting mad over that FAC, and didn’t want to stress. Lon story short, we had issues that built up to the break. We are both busy and have somewhat stressful lives, and instead of pulling together, we pulled apart.

Anyway. A week ago, out of the blue he asked if he he could come over after the holidays to come get his stuff. He was polite, and even seemed hesitant yo ask.His stuff includes minor things, all of which could be replaced, and at one point when we were arguing he told me to throw it away. Any insight on why he asked out of the blue ? I’m not sure how to act when seeing him for the first time.

admin

December 29, 2014 at 2:38 pm

He is probably thinking of you a lot lately…

Holidays and all.
BETTY

December 29, 2014 at 5:43 pm

I’m not sure exactly, I know that the holidays do bring out a lot of feelings for many people. He has also “liked” my pictures on social media from time to time. Yes, I still have him on there, rule of NC broken.

I miss him, a lot. I tried to go after a rebound relationship shortly after the break, and unfortunately it made me miss him more. I am just not sure how to react when he does come over to get his stuff. I want to be polite, but, I also want him to realize that most people who have thrown away his stuff considering the break up, and yet, I was nice enough to keep it for him.

vanillasky

December 1, 2014 at 4:33 pm

Hi chris so here it goes,

-he chased me, we started dating
-everything was good at first than we started to have fights
-i sent a long text message saying that he is not giving me enough attention anymore
-he said that he had stuff to do at school and he had arguments with 3 guys
-he wanted to pick me up
-i didn’t go and slept instead
-he wrote at night ”will you come” i answered when i woke up ”i fell asleep”
-first thing in the morning he said there’s nothing to argue and it’s over, he deleted our photo
– i panicked and said he doesn’t care about me and showing me that, he doesn’t love me etc.
– he said it was my spoiled behavior that ended the rs and i know for sure he loves me how much.
-i said if he loves me he should speak to me face to face
-we spoke, he said he loved me but didn’t want to be with me anymore, because I’m immature and if he takes me back he’s sure that I will do the same thing again.
-i texted him afterwards wanting him to help me fix things and said that if he loves me he’ll stand beside me.
– he answered it’s not cool that you understand your mistake at this point.
-so, i didn’t answer it, anyways he waited hours for that last text and all was that.
we’ve been dating for 1.5 months and i really love him. I have not spoke to him for 13 days and I’m really worried he won’t change his mind. Please just tell me if it’s fixable or not i’m freaking out and cannot fulfill the whole purpose of no contact.
*also i unfollowed him and he retweeted a tweet saying ”oh you unfollowed me i’m soooo sorry” (it was like a joke written in a humiliating way)
Please tell me your idea should i lose hope and go on or do we stand a chance?

admin

December 2, 2014 at 2:29 pm

How old are the two of you?
vanillasky

December 8, 2014 at 3:41 pm

I’m 19 and he is 22

Tinkerbell

October 5, 2014 at 3:26 pm

Hello Chris and everyone else! 🙂

Here’s my confusing situation. So after 5 months relationship he broke up with me. Out of the blue. I did NC. He didn’t contact me eighter. After one month of NC i wasn’t sure what is that i want. I still loved him, this was clearly to me, but wasn’t sure if i want him back because he broke my heart. So i stayed in NC. After 2 months i get a call in middle of the night. It woked me up. It was him but i didn’t answered. Few minutes later a text came, saying that his neighbour called me, but the one who misses me is him. so i was happy and confused and just cried there in my bed. Once again. After one day i text him. He said he knows he made a mistake and that he doesn’t know why he did that. For some days we texted than, chating about whats new with us and our family. Eventually i think i got a little bit agressive. I wanted to meet and talk thing through. I think that scared him off. So, we didn’t texted anymore. Though i told him i still care for him.
And than came July and his birthday. I send him a text and he replied positive. 3 days after his birthday we went for drinks. Positive again 🙂 Since than, we text regularly and meet eachother at least once a week. Almost every time is his idea, he invites me. With time he even send me text he loves me but i answered on that that i need time to get things straight. So we go for drinks, kiss goodnight …
But we never have spoken of what happened with us, what was the thinh that pulled him away again when we were first again in contact and we never talk about what means this dating and all those text msg and kisses… 🙂 I’m happy again with him. I confess 🙂 But i think we should put all our cards on the table. Because this can’t be that way for good. I need to know if he’s serious about us, because i want to do something with my life. I wish it could be with him, but if not, i need to move on. Maybe now you think: Ok, you know what you want and you know what you have to do. So what do you want from me?? Well, i don’t know how to start that conversation, so that i don’t scared him to much… Can you help?? Please!!

Greetings!!! 😉

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