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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
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The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
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keels.
June 13, 2014 at 10:23 am
My ex and I had been together for almost a year. We moved quite fast – moved in together at 3 months. Around March, we started to have some issues. These were brought on by the fact that my job granted me the freedom to work from home. As he worked from home as well, this pretty much put us together 24/7 and things were up and down for the next two months – until last week.
Last Wednesday, after a (supposedly) perfect movie date night, he broke up with me – citing the reason that we don’t click. I was completely heartbroken. To me, that’s something you usually know after a few dates, if not a month or two? Or am I way off there? It’s at least certainly something you should be sure of before you ask someone to move in. When I asked what if in a month he regretted this decision, he told me then he would have to live with making the worst mistake of his life.
Anyways, I stayed at the same house as him while I looked for somewhere else. Sleeping on the couch downstairs wasn’t ideal, but at least it was somewhere. I stuck around mostly because when I tried to go to a hotel nearby to be alone/process what happened, he always managed to talk me out of it. It seemed like he wanted me around, but just didn’t want to talk to me/be with me. It was a miserable week for me. He kept having these semi-mood swings, going from snapping at me over nothing to behaving the way he used to when we were together. He told me this was because he doesn’t know where he stands on the whole breakup.
The other day, as luck would have it, I found a new place to live. It’s gorgeous. And despite the fact that it’s still in the same neighborhood/I’m probably going to run into him from time to time, I took it. I needed to get out of that house as quick as possible.
He’s been saying a lot of confusing things, especially last night. That he still loves me, for one. He’s told me that almost every day since the breakup. That he doesn’t know what the future holds for us, but that he hopes it’s good. That I was the best thing that happened to him. That he wants to be friends. That he wants to keep me in his life. That we had something good worth saving, worth fighting for. He just thinks the breakup would have been inevitable.
I know that a lot of this may just be in an effort to placate me or keep me around as a safety net. I know he may not mean it. I don’t understand why he would say it if he didn’t mean it, though – to me that just seems pointless. All it seems to be doing is making it more heartbreaking for me.
I feel as if a lot of outside factors were kind of working against the relationship. He’s easily persuaded by his friends. Dates have been cancelled last minute because his friends wanted him to go out (which I’ve never had a problem with). I’m not as big as into going out as him and his friends, but I’ve never stood in the way of a guys night out (as far as I know). His friends are single and planning a single-guy holiday for next month. He’s never been in a serious relationship before. Before me, he had never told a girlfriend that he loved her. By his own admission, he doesn’t have a lot of examples of functional romantic relationships around him which made him skeptical growing up. I think one of his friends may have also implied to him that because I said I could see him and I together at my college graduation next fall, I’m looking for some kind of super-commitment or something. My reason for believing this is that the last night at the old house, he said something like ‘Don’t worry, you’re going to have a lot of time to spend with someone else’. He also recently lost a big contract at work, and has been under a lot of stress. It’s been affecting his mood and responses to me.
I feel like I’m not getting the real reason for the breakup, since I usually see ‘clicking’ as something that determines whether or not it’s a good idea to get into a relationship in the first place. Not something that you determine so far along. Today is day 2 in the new house, and 9 days since the breakup. I moved out while he was out, and just sent a text telling him where I left my key. I couldn’t go NC yesterday, as in my scramble to leave I’d forgotten something important & needed to retrieve it. But as far as I’m concerned, NC is on as of today. And he’s already texted me twice.
Is it possible that he’s just confused? Or is there something else going on here? Is there any way to salvage this situation?
admin
June 15, 2014 at 4:01 pm
How long total were the two of you dating?
keels.
June 13, 2014 at 10:26 am
ohmy, I didn’t realize I’d typed so much. I’m so sorry!
admin
June 15, 2014 at 4:01 pm
Your good.
still hoping
June 13, 2014 at 9:12 am
Hi Chris,
I desperately need your advice.
My boyfriend broke up with me less than two months ago. We had been together for four years and we were planning to have kids this year and get married. However, due to stress (me with work and him with schoolwork) things were not ok at home. We are in a long distance relationship and he came over to visit me. We had a lot of future plans and he was so positive about our future together. He moved out 2 weeks after the break up and went travelling around the country. In less than a month after he moved out, he got a new girlfriend but told me “please do not be upset this might be temporary or long term, hard to tell”. The last chat he sent was about 2 or so weeks ago and he said he still want to record music with me in the future and hang out. I was cordial with him every time he chats me. I went NC and tried to make myself look good. Been seeking for help online on how to deal with my depression. I broke the NC rule after I had a miscarriage. I sent him an sms telling him that I had a miscarriage and thought I should let him know because it is his too and I wished him well. He never replied. He will be leaving the country in a few days and he shut me out of his life already too. he changed his e-mail address and I never heard from him again. Do you think there is still a chance that we get back together? Deep in my heart I know he still love me and I keep hoping for him to come back.
Thanks Chris.. Have a great day ahead.
admin
June 15, 2014 at 4:00 pm
He seems like a jerk… He should have replied to that text. That was classless of him.
Janet
June 13, 2014 at 5:05 am
Hi Chris.. been done NC almost three times already. He has a commitment issue. So it ended up every time not talking each other after the argument. That’s why I have done NC three time. I still love him so much. I don’t want to, but I feel like it’s time to give up. I haven’t talked to him over a month now.
I don’t know what to do at this point… so frustrating.
admin
June 15, 2014 at 3:55 pm
Commitment issues eh…
Give me a specific example.
Janet
June 15, 2014 at 6:55 pm
We have been together almost 2 years.
whenever we get closer, he is pushing me back. And I get clingy.
I don’t know what I can do anymore.
We haven’t been talking for 2 months now.
r
June 12, 2014 at 5:39 am
Hey
I need an advice on one of the issue i m facing in my relation with m bf of 3 yrs. He has some anger issues which i hv noticed. He all of a sudden stops talking yo me and blocks me. He sometimes becomes so angry that he slapped me once. But that was an arguement and i was also angry and wanted to slap him. But as he is way taller and stronger i cudnt even touch him but he slapped me. But i forgave him as i also eas wrong trying to hit him.
Agn once he suddenly stopped attending my calls so i was calking him. But as i was blocked, he came over and broke my phn cover (he was actually trying to break my phn but he cudnt so he broke its cover).
But 2 days b4 again, i was asking something to him which he wsnt answering. He became so angry that he slapped me really hard. I immediately told him to “get out of the house.” I went to open d door and waited outside. He came after few min and told me not to contact ever. When i went in, i was shocked to see that my phn was all open and my sim card was broken to pieces. He actually broke it. I lost all my contacts as u can understand its impossible to remember them. My phn was temporarily out of service. I wasnt in contact with anyone and all because he broke my card. I was so damn hurt as he slapped me and den broke my sim. He is sending 1 text daily from last 2 wks ” what am i doing?” But m not replying. He tried calling me but i didnt responded.
I m very deeply hurt and feeling insulted because of what he did 2 days b4. I never did wrong to him, never. But He keeps on doing it. what should i do, plz advice.
Thanks
admin
June 15, 2014 at 3:30 pm
I don’t think I can help you get him back…
anyone who hits you doesn’t deserve to be walking around free…
r
June 12, 2014 at 6:09 am
Its not “2wks”… Its from 2 days he is texting “wht i m doing”. But i m not replying. Kindly advice.
honey
June 11, 2014 at 5:08 pm
Dear Chris…I have to write it on here…my previous comment was on the webside how to make him commit…but the capture code doesnt work..so I hope u figure it out. I do not understand what u mean. I wrote everything down. I was jelous and started to be mad about him not texting me as often as in the beginning of our reconnection. No more good mornings at the mornings anymore like he did just some days ago. I started to complain about everything like being his gf already. Probably he thought I am same clingy as before he broke up. Even though the break up wasn’t just because of that, there were other religious believes behind all that. But it seems not to be the main reason anymore. Somehow he pulls back the more I start to complain about something or assuming he’s lying to me as it comes to going out. What do I do??? I had this feeling like everything was on the perfect way and now this. Im so down and confused, Chris. Should I leave him alone now?? To sgow him Im not that clingy
admin
June 15, 2014 at 3:07 pm
Yes, leave him be for a bit.
Hopeless
June 8, 2014 at 11:33 pm
Hi Chris,
I really hope you read my post. I dont know if you remember me, but we communicated through email couple of months ago. I had a long distant relationship with my now ex. We broke up after 4 months over a stupid argument. This was last year. We started talking about a month later. Ever since our breakup which was a year ago, i met him 4 times and we had sex every time. Actually, the only reason we would meet is to have sex. I know i have become a FWB, which is wrong. And im sure you know why most woman do it too. I cant even think of the fact him being with someone else. But now it is really hurting me. I met him last month and he hasn’t even contacted me since then. Just few snapchat stories. I know he is chilling with this one girl every week. I dont know if they are just hanging out or dating.
I am initiating the NC rule now. It’s been a week. How can I get the FWB tag off and to him actually respect me. he knows I love him a lot and he said it couple of times to me as well. But i am beginning to understand its all games to get me in bed. I was thinking of calling him and getting my closure and out an end to this. Should I get my closure before or after the NC rule? I was thinking I should try the NC rule and see if things change for the good or not. Please Advice! Thanks
admin
June 9, 2014 at 3:11 pm
If you two are still long distance and you are FWB that is really bad…
Hopeless
June 9, 2014 at 3:42 pm
So NC rule won’t work in my case? I should just get my closure and move on?
admin
June 10, 2014 at 3:32 pm
NC will just be less effective.
Hannah
June 8, 2014 at 10:40 am
Hi Chris,
I still live with my ex boyfriend and we’re still both financially incapable to move out just yet. What’s the best thing to do because we’re still civil at home (a studio btw, still one bed) and NC is quite impossible. Thank you.
admin
June 8, 2014 at 8:22 pm
Ya… for now just be very respectful. Almost like roommates.
Hannah
June 12, 2014 at 6:02 am
Hi Chris,
At home we’re respectful of each other and we still sometimes talk and make jokes and have little cute flirty subtle banters. Is that a sign that he is still into me? Thank you so much for your replies. 🙂
Hannah
June 9, 2014 at 3:06 am
So we’ve been broken up for a month now, still roommates, and still have about another month living together before we separate places. What are the best tactics to do while we’re still at the same place to win him back? And will NC still work even if I start ONLY after moving out? Which means i’ll only really start NC after 2 months of being broken up… Thanks so much Chris!
admin
June 9, 2014 at 3:18 pm
I think it can still work after you move out.
Hannah
June 9, 2014 at 2:39 pm
Oh and plus SOMETIMES we have flirty banter and still have sex and cuddle A LITTLE (like once a week since we broke up) is that a good sign or just familiarity since we’re still living in the same place? Thanks so much, Chris!
admin
June 10, 2014 at 1:52 pm
Sounds like FWB to me…
Hannah
June 8, 2014 at 10:37 am
Hi Chris,
Have any of your readers dealt with a break up with an Ex that he said it was FINAL but after successfully doing the 30 day no contact and other tactics you put here, they still come back? Thanks so much.
admin
June 8, 2014 at 8:22 pm
Plenty!
Anon
June 8, 2014 at 5:44 am
Hey Chris, I sent you an email (The challenge) but I don’t know if you got the chance to read it. My boyfriend of just about 10 months broke up with me. I’m holding strong on the NC (day 12) but there is a slight issue.. there might be a chance I’m pregnant and don’t know how to go about telling him about it. I’m really close with his mother and was considering telling her but I don’t know if that’s the right choice. I’m scared he’s going to think that I’m doing this to get him back when in reality I’m freaking out over here about being pregnant.
admin
June 8, 2014 at 8:21 pm
I think you need to have an open and honest talk with him about the pregnancy. Go to him and not his mother for this.
Ugh
June 8, 2014 at 3:27 am
Hey Chris,
I have been pretty down lately… With my break up even though it was 8 months ago… My ex I think has feelings for somebody else he on snapchat he will block me, unblock me looks at me story , blocks me again, I think he tweets about her. they just hung out today with his guy friend and the girl with three other friends.. I know I know I think I’m being paranoid but i just miss him so much but is there a chance he thinks of me the girl and I have the same name.. We haven’t spoken to each other since the break up and it’s so hard to walk by him everyday it really is.. I don’t want to lose him how do you think I can get his attention on me? If that’s possible I really don’t know what to do anymore. I have read other things where if I act as if I don’t care that will bring him back but I feel what ever I do it can’t bring him back..
admin
June 8, 2014 at 8:18 pm
Well, have you done the NC yet?
Ugh
June 9, 2014 at 12:01 am
Yes I have and it was to the point where I tried writing letters instead of making texts ( but I also tried text) I just don’t know where my next step is
admin
June 9, 2014 at 3:12 pm
Ya.. writing letters is not usually the smartest idea.
Ugh
June 13, 2014 at 1:58 am
Well what if he does have feelings for another girl what do I do? It’s honestly so hard to keep this in. You are the only person I really express this to so it’s hard to see him every day you know? I don’t know what to do
Tiffany
June 7, 2014 at 3:28 am
Hi, I tried to submit a comment a few days ago but it wouldn’t post it!
My (Ex) bf has a horrible past with one of his ex-gf that completely ripped his heart out-cheated on him, took his money, and took away his confidence. He definitely took all of this to heart and never got closure so he lets that completely guide his life. He has dated girls in between her and I, but he said none of them really did much for him; until I came along. He said that the first time he met me, all his coworkers asked him why he was so happy and why it looked like he was floating on a cloud. We were long distance (about 2 hours away) and we were dating for 8 months. We talked on the phone ( I was very emotional ~ big mistake ) and he told me that he really needs to just work on himself because he does not feel like the guy he used to be; he doesn’t feel happy, he doesn’t enjoy the things he used to love. He’s always told me that I was the girl he prayed to God for and he honestly believes God brought me to him (still does) . He always told me I made him better, he could trust me more than anyone in the world and we were just so connected emotionally and physically. I know this is all true because throughout our entire relationship, he’s had these highs and lows due to his confidence and has let his insecurities and jealousy seep through…One time he came up here and I asked him what he saw when he looked in the mirror and he just started crying. He broke down.
It seems to me like he is going through some type of quarter-life crisis right now and he doesn’t know how to deal with it. I basically pin pointed his demise when he had to choose the law school he was going to go to in fall and he didn’t tell me, and I asked him about it and he told me that he didn’t really think it was a big deal because it’s not like he’s really happy or proud about it. His motivation was to always make me proud of him, and I always was. I broke NC a couple of days ago bc I went to the ER and I needed his help to explain something, but I did get a very positive response from him and he was making sure I was ok the entire night and asked how I was the next morning ( he was calling me babe and my usual nickname and I was making him laugh). I know he is miserable about this, but he’s always been the type that sticks by his decisions even when they’re wrong (damn lawyers)… it’s definitely a pride thing. I don’t know what I can do to help get him out of this funk… it seems very self-destructive. After this all went down a couple weeks ago, I posted a picture to Instagram and he told me he missed me and my pictures were beautiful, but never liked them or anything. After my ER visit, I thanked him for helping me through all this and went back to NC. I posted another picture of me on Instagram and he liked it which is something he hasn’t done in a while. I’m at a loss of what I do now….
admin
June 7, 2014 at 4:49 pm
Hi Tiff!
Are you currently in NC?
Tiffany
June 7, 2014 at 8:30 pm
Yes I was on NC since the thursday before this one ( after I spoke on the phone with him), but had to break it since I was going to the ER and he was the only one I knew that could help me. The next morning he asked me how I was doing, we chatted for a bit, then that was it. Back on NC since Wednesday morning.
I’m not sure what to do because we’re on good terms with everything he’s just overwhelmed with his life. Yes I’ve made some emotional mistakes on the phone, but that has never swayed him from thinking about me any differently. On the phone I asked him if I was the girl he probably would have ended up with in his life if he was ready for all of this and he said yes probably. And I know he would definitely never lie about that he would have just averted the question, he would never lead me on like that, he’s very careful about his words and his honesty. The liking of my instagram picture ( A picture that was irresistible to him, aka the perfect ” ungettable girl” ) was the day after we stopped talking (last thursday)
abby
June 6, 2014 at 7:42 pm
hi, chris..
i have a request.. could you make a guide for us about ‘how to know if your ex, doesnt loves you anymore’ by any chance? or perhaps u could give a quick point here?? thank you, chris..
admin
June 7, 2014 at 4:43 pm
Hmm… I think I have written something about that already.
Valarie
June 6, 2014 at 6:12 am
Hey Chris!
Just wanted to say hey, and let you know that your website helped me immensely after a nasty break-up in December ’13. I’m in a new relationship and doing well, and I know my new boyfriend loves me in way my ex did not. There is a huge age difference between us though, he’s 21 and I’m 26. However, he’s had much more dating/relationship experience, was previously engaged at 17! But I use your guides to help me make the right decisions in to relationship, and not screw it up again. He does love me enough to work with me on all issues! Already has on many of them!!
admin
June 6, 2014 at 5:45 pm
So happy to hear this!
The age difference is not that big of a deal to be honest. TRUST ME!
Its maturity level that matters in the end.
HotLilTeacher
June 6, 2014 at 5:55 am
Ugh! Now I get it! He got back together with me just because he was jealous! 4 weeks later he meets someone and dumps me. Wish I would have known this was a red flag. Thanks Chris.
Anonymous
June 6, 2014 at 3:34 am
I need help.
admin
June 6, 2014 at 5:42 pm
I am here for that!
Anonymous
June 7, 2014 at 4:18 am
OK, so i get that. I hardly ever text him. But when I do it is not overly emotional, but still interesting, and he does not respond.
Do you think I should hang out with him in a group next week??
admin
June 7, 2014 at 4:50 pm
Give me a specific example?
Anonymous
June 7, 2014 at 10:31 pm
Well, I did that one that you suggested about recommending a movie. The thing is, ever since I have known him, he was never that into texting. I think he has just give up on texting with me. I am still not sure how to handle next week though.
Anonymous
June 9, 2014 at 12:36 am
Do you think I should pursue the hang out, since it was his idea, or not?
Thanks!
admin
June 9, 2014 at 3:12 pm
I think you should.
Anonymous
June 6, 2014 at 3:37 am
I don’t care if you think that my situation is bad or not, I just want to know. I have tried to get my ex to see me about three times and he had ignored me and said he was busy. Just recently he finally invited me to hang out with him and some other friends next week. I don’t know how I should act when I am there or even if I should go. I am trying not to obsess but it is hard. I feel like he is just doing this to oblige me and not because he wants to see me. 🙁
admin
June 6, 2014 at 5:42 pm
I think you are pushing too hard. You have to build up more attraction before you get him to see you.
Red
June 6, 2014 at 2:25 am
Chris, I’m back! Haven’t visited your page in a while (I was working on moving on!) and this new article of yours has perfect timing.
I was able to go 39 days into NC before he and I talked again. Actually, I wasn’t planning to talk to him… I was actually seriously considering “moving on” completely. The last few days of NC were quite different for me: I felt more confident, I lost weight, I fixed myself up to look pretty, I was being flirted on by baristas at coffee shops, I hung out with my friends, hung out with other guys, went on a date… I followed your advice, and it has been good! But then, one of my friends decided to “talk” to my boyfriend to see how he was doing. I really didn’t want to know at the time, but this friend of mine thought she was doing me a favor. Apparently she told him I was still feeling guilty, sad, though I was “doing better than before”. But this is really not how I felt! Of course I loved him and still missed him, but I was getting over it.
Anyway, to cut the long convo they had short, he told my friend that he wanted to talk to me, but I was ignoring him, so he didn’t know what to do. He said he still wanted us to be friends despite everything. He wanted to stick “to the plan” we had when we first broke up. “The plan” was, he and I would develop individually but keep in touch so we could see where our relationship would head when both of us were “ready”. At this point, I got mad. Because although we did talk about that, I couldn’t believe he had the gall to mention it after he started dating that other girl in the office. He even told me part of the reason of the break up was her! He also told me he couldn’t get back together with me because “he wanted to explore his feelings for this other girl”. And then now he wants to go back to this half-thought of plan?
I tried to understand his reasons all throughout the course of the breakup. But this time, I really got ticked off. He wanted to talk to me, so I agreed to talk, but sadly I wasn’t able to keep my cool. He kept on saying that this was “his plan” all along, that he would come back after developing himself, that the girl in the office wasn’t anything serious and he wasn’t planning to pursue her anyway.
I would’ve stayed my ground, this only gave me further reason to just continue to move on… but then during the conversation, he broke down and cried. And started apologizing profusely for everything he did. He said “I only did it cause I didn’t know what to do… please, I didn’t mean to push you away. I have so many things I regret. I’m sorry, please.”
I honestly told him that I don’t know if sorry is enough. He said he just wanted to “fix things”. I asked him to elaborate. He said “I think we should try again…” and I asked him if he was ready to do that, cause I didn’t think he was. And he told me, “I’m not ready now. But if you agree… I’ll tell you when I am. I will be.”
I asked him if he loved me. He said, “I do, but not in that way… I’m not ready to have another romantic relationship with you. Our last relationship tired me out.” So I asked him why he wanted to give it another go with me. He said, “I want to learn how to love you that way again.”
Lastly, I asked him about the girl. “She’s just like my sister,” was what he replied. (She is four years younger than him and has been his junior since college. Also, he has no siblings.)
I refuted everything he said because I was so doubtful. I said things like, “You’re just doing this out of guilt,” “I think we should end this conversation,” “It’s been almost three months, don’t worry about those things, I’m fine and you’re fine,” “You don’t need to do this just because you feel bad for what you did, because it’s all okay, I understand.”
But then he asked me to not think like that. He said “Please give me the benefit of the doubt. Please believe I’m being sincere.”
Honestly Chris, I don’t know what to do. I was planning to implement your plan for us women or just move on completely, but now it seems I can’t do either? A little guidance on this situation would really help me. I love him, but I don’t want to be used… is he really doing this because he thought this was the best choice, or because he was just pushed into a corner again by his guilt? Are those good reasons. I’m scared.
If you have any thoughts, I’d like to hear it. Thanks!!!
admin
June 6, 2014 at 5:42 pm
Ok, let me just cut right to the chase for you.
In the end do you truly believe in your heart he is right for you?
Anonymous
June 5, 2014 at 7:50 pm
Hi I bought the book , but it would not download . I emailed you twice and got no reply. Can you please help ? If not I would like my money back !!
admin
June 6, 2014 at 5:18 pm
Hi there,
Website went down yesterday. I will check the email to make sure I get back to you.
Artemis
June 4, 2014 at 6:14 pm
So I was in a LDR with my ex of one and a half years, been broken up three months, and I am now doing an internship a stone’s throw away from where he lives. He still has a lot of my stuff and he emailed me three weeks ago asking where he should ship it. Since I don’t have reliable family I told him to ship it to a family friend, or he could ship it to my other ex’s apartment in the town where I am staying since I really needed the summer clothes I had left behind. He knows I am just friends with my other ex, but he hasn’t shipped my things or said ANYTHING in nearly three weeks. I also offered to meet up with him to get my stuff, but nothing…I am not sure why he would want to hold onto my things when he obviously doesn’t want to speak to me. We had an amazing relationship traveling the world together and much of what I left behind was momentos of our travels. Is he sad and doesn’t want to let go or just being a jerk?
admin
June 5, 2014 at 5:40 pm
CAn I answer that he is probably a bit of both? Sad and being a jerk?
Artemis
June 6, 2014 at 10:29 pm
How should I deal with him then if I want him back eventually? Ignore him or send him a friendly email once in awhile joking about when he is going to release my stuff he is holding hostage. I have been nothing but pleasant to him. :-/
admin
June 7, 2014 at 4:46 pm
Well, eventually if you want him back you have to work on that emotional connection. Not just “jokey” emails.
Clary
June 4, 2014 at 5:43 pm
Hey chris!
Don’t know if you remember me, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me about four months ago. I found your site shortly after the break up and learnt about the no contact rule. I’ve been reading all your posts and found it really useful and true. Ever since then i tried being the ‘Ungettable Girl’ and could clearly see all the mistakes i’d made in the relationship. Every time i’m struggling with no contact i’ll visit your site and read your posts all over again. My ex boyfriend finally reach out after three months of no contact. I’m extremely delighted to say that we’re finally dating again. I want to thank you for being so awesome and please continue doing what you’re doing! God bless you xx
admin
June 5, 2014 at 5:39 pm
I am delighted to hear back from you. Glad I was able to help!
xenia
June 3, 2014 at 5:57 am
Hey chris,
Update, we re vack together 🙂 i dont know how it happened it just did. After the incindent i talked to u about he just called me up one morning and was like i miss u, i love u and that was it ! We sort of fell back in place like the break up never happened ! Im happy, but cautiosly though. Hes verybusy and stressed about work, and i dont want to have a serious sit down just yet , im afraid ill sound too needy !
He has brought up flyin me over to see him, but it is pretty hectic for him so we havent been able to address that or anything else for that matter. I dont want to overwhelm him, but im pretty anxious! He is very emotional rite now, nostalgic, loving, yet his work is taking over and i understand being on probation in a new job, but im afraid he came back for the wrong reasons.. Whats yr take ?
admin
June 5, 2014 at 5:22 pm
Talk to him about when youll see each other next. Make time for that b/c its important.
xenia
June 7, 2014 at 10:08 pm
Hey chris,
so i spoke to him about flyin over again, and we were agreed, then he txted a few hours later saying’ pls dont get this wrong but i’d like to postpone it till I’m a bit more stable at least at work’ . I said ‘yeah of course no problem’, and he went all catholic guilt on me, saying how he’s a bad person, and he’s just lonely, horny and needy of a woman in his life, and he feels he might be taking advantage of ‘my desire for him’, and he’s no longer able to commit like before!
I asked how he felt about me really and he evaded the question ! I contained my anger twds him, I just kept smiling quietly as he went on and on about his inner dilemmas ! Then I just fell off the grid for the rest of the day, he tried to contact me but i answered his texts hours later when i was sure he’d be asleep and I wont have to talk to him! Chris, Im confused! He was very kindly and caring, and he mentioned before how he loved this stage and he was concerned about our future etc. I don’t know how to respond to this or do i just brush it off ? I feel a insulted by wt he said! 🙁
Taryn
June 9, 2014 at 8:42 pm
Xenia,
My dear. I feel for you and I fully support you love! And I agree with Chris. Go full NC.
admin
June 8, 2014 at 8:15 pm
Back off then… Go full NC.
It was insulting what he said so don’t waste your time with him right now. Let him come to you.