What To Do If Your Ex Doesn't Contact You During No Contact- How To Make Him Talk

2,697 thoughts on “What If He Doesn’t Contact You During No Contact?”

Kara

May 5, 2020 at 3:06 am

Hi Chris,

I followed your advice of no contact which worked for him to reach out to me and text me. But every time after the no contact period and our conversations, in the end he doesn’t want to get back with me because he said that he felt like it was going backwards and he hasn’t gotten over the hurt I caused him. I learned to better manage my emotions and actions now so that’s all set. But, he says that he’s not completely over me and he still thinks about me. He’s contacted me first after 1 week, then after 2 weeks, then after 4 weeks, right now it’s been 6 weeks and he hasn’t texted me. Each time he told me he wants to stay friends because he cares about me as a person not just romantically. Is there any hope that he’s just saying this and his feelings tell him otherwise that he still loves me? Every time we went no contact I told him to never contact me again. But it’s been over 6 weeks now and I am worried that he won’t ever text me again or want me back. Should I wait longer or check up on him or a different option? Thanks, Kara

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

May 7, 2020 at 10:41 pm

Hi Kara, I do not thing you have read enough articles to understand what you are supposed to be doing during your No Contact period, and when to reach out to your ex. Read some more articles and work through the program, the most important thing is that you do not reach out to your ex about getting back together as this is not going tot be an instant yes you need to re connect and work your way up the value chain

Esther

May 4, 2020 at 6:55 pm

This is not the first or second time we’ve been in the no contact rule but the third time…And I’ve always been the one initiating the conversation….and i think he’s feeling like i can’t do without him…so this third time… ain’t gonna call or text him first…if that how the relationship wants to end then so be it!
Abigirl

May 4, 2020 at 10:34 am

Hi there. I dated my ex for a year and 3 months. We broke up due to fights as I was battling mental illness. I did the no contact rule for 30 days and he still didn’t contact me, so i waited till 45 days and still nothing. Should I contact him first? And if so, what do I even say. I’m afraid of starting small talk about work and the weather bc the conversation will fizzle out. I just don’t know what to say to him now that we’ve ignored each other for so long. Its now been 46 days.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

May 6, 2020 at 8:35 pm

Hi there Abi, yes you are supposed to reach out first, you need to follow the NC rules and then work on yourself in that time and plan your first few reach out texts that Chris suggest

felicia love

May 2, 2020 at 6:37 am

My boyfriend who told me that I was an angel for helping me didn’t walk me home the next day late night, wth!! The next day I told him that I felt hurt and he said come over for dinner we’ll discuss it and not to feel bad! He changed the time by 45 min. later and I got pissed off and when he texted me if I’m coming I said no. He didn’t reply back until he texted me @ 1:00 am 3 days later asking me if I wanted to go shopping w/o apologizing or asking me how I am. I didn’t reply back as I thought that this wasn’t good enough! Help thanx!

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

May 7, 2020 at 8:35 pm

Hi Felicia, what advise is it that you are looking for?

J.L.

May 2, 2020 at 3:08 am

Hi, my Ex-boyfriend and I were together for almost 5 years. We went to high school together when we were younger and dated a few times, but drifted apart after graduation. 30 years later, we were both going through divorces & we contacted each other on Facebook as friends just to re-unite and say hello how are you. We started talking for hours and hours and had so much in common. He moved away to another state many years ago while married and I was still in our hometown. He has four kids the ages of 11 through 16, and I have two kids 15 and 18. After two years of long-distance of me going back-and-forth and him going back-and-forth to visit each other I finally decided to move where he was. Let me preface this by saying he’s is extremely involved dad his kids always come first.. he is a teacher, a football coach and has four kids. He was very passionate in the beginning told me how much he loved me and we had an excellent relationship. But as time went on things got into a rut and I rarely saw him because he was going to practices, games, dealing with issues with the kids or his ex-wife. Every time we would get together for a date one of his kids would always call and he would take the phone call even if it wasn’t an emergency ..he couldn’t just wait for an hour after we had dinner to call them back. Not seeing him for weeks on end and him only having time for us to have an hour dinner it would just be nice for him to turn his phone off during that one hour. He’s extremely present for his kids. When I would stay at his house overnight they would just walk right in our bedroom without knocking and he would never say anything. We went out to dinner and had sleepovers twice a month on the weeks he did not have the kids and on the weeks he did have the kids we would have family game nights with my kids and his kids and everyone got along very well. Both of us are divorced in our late 40s and not really looking to get married but we do love each other ! it’s just that his Kids are much closer to him than they are with the mother and they rely on him for everything. It makes me proud to know that he such a good father it just really affects our relationship. My kids are a lot more self-sufficient but his are a little bit needy… Thats not necessarily a bad thing it’s just how it is. I bought a house in this new state and got a job. 3 years later & Now settled in our lives we barely have time for each other and I’ve been vocal about it. He just doesn’t have time, or won’t make time. It’s always about sports , the kids practices , the kids games.. he drives all over the state to watch the kids play but can’t plan a date night for us ! sometimes it really hurt my feelings. He is an amazing man, so sweet kind and generous but he really does have issues. When we do spend time together we have so much fun but eventually things just fell apart after Valentine’s Day. I made plans for us to have dinner alone at my house and he decided he wanted to go to his daughter’s basketball game and Delay our night together by several hours after 8 PM. I planned this for weeks.. Let me remind you that we see each other about three or four times a month. I was very upset. I told him not to come over and that I would talk to him tomorrow. The next day was his birthday and we went to a hotel and dinner and I had too much to drink and completely unloaded on him about how he doesn’t put me first ever, how I feel like he doesn’t love me anymore, how I moved to be with him but he never has time for me, and I never feel like our relationship is a priority because all his time and effort go into his children. When we do spend time together he’s exhausted, he works incredibly hard takes care of four kids and he is really the ultimate dad! It’s just he may not be the best boyfriend. We care about each other but ultimately he broke it off with me telling me I deserve someone who would give me their full attention, I deserved a full-time boyfriend not a part-time boyfriend and he couldn’t give me what I wanted. I’m extremely low maintenance and I don’t ask for much but I miss him terribly he was my best friend we texted each other every morning and every night even though we didn’t see each other. It’s been 40 days of no contact and I don’t know what to do. He is extremely stubborn and so am I , but I feel like since he broke up with me and if he actually missed me ..he would call me. We’re no longer friends on Facebook or Instagram, But we have a lot of mutual friends. I’m not necessarily sure I want to get back together with him but I know I miss him terribly and I still love him. His kids are amazing , fun and extremely smart, as are mine we really enjoyed spending time together as a family ..I just feel like there’s a big void in my life now. He has a really hard time with balance and taking time for himself or in a relationship because he is so busy with his kids and job. I just want him to take better care of himself and try and put more effort into us as were almost 50 years old and not getting any younger. Growing up without a dad has really made him want to be the ultimate superman and I don’t blame him for that. We both know that seeing a therapist would be very helpful but he just doesn’t want to take the time to do that. It really hurts because we really were in love we both made mistakes and it’s just very sad all around. I know he still cares about me but I think this is it and it’s just so hard because we talk to each other every single day even though we didn’t see each other. I am now at 41 days of no contact either way should I contact him or just let it go and move on?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

May 12, 2020 at 10:22 am

Hi JL so there is no way I can tell you if you should move on or not. That needs to be your decision. What you can do is choose to follow this program and stick to it, using the information on this website to guide you through the stages. Work on yourself and attempt to speak to your ex using a method that Chris suggests in his articles after 30 days No Contact

Sarah

April 23, 2020 at 1:02 pm

I was wondering how all this works with an ex who suffers from depression? I was with him for about 17 months, and for most of the time we’d been together he was unwell, and therefore we had our issues but were very much in love. I broke up with him because I’d been feeling unappreciated, and unheard, but I don’t know if that’s just the way he is now, or if he’d fallen out of love with me, or if it’s because of his depression (we’re also long distance, which makes everything a lot harder). After we broke up, he asked if we could be friends and I agreed, but for the next 5 days he didn’t text. So I texted him to apologise because I felt like I said the wrong things during the breakup. His reply was very direct and seemed kind of tense, so I tried to lighten the mood and we began texting normally. The next day he didn’t text, so I texted him about my feelings towards the breakup (which i know I shouldn’t have) because it seemed like he was already at ease with it (which he didn’t deny) and he started getting kind of cold and distant, i told him i didn’t want to be his friend and at certain points he just wouldn’t answer. I stopped texting him and decided to try no contact, but not sure if it would work with my situation. (I broke up with him before for similar reasons, but always instantly regretted it and went back to him, he said he agrees with this breakup because we keep coming back to it, but I want to work things out with him, but not sure that he wants the same thing).
Ammy

April 21, 2020 at 7:38 pm

Hi Chris,

So my ex and I have been dating for 6 months, however, during the last two months he had been very distant and cold and at first, I thought this was because he had two very important exams coming up so I gave him his space and supported him in taking his time to focus on exams. However, once he gave his exams he was still having the same behavior, so I kind of gave him an ultimatum and asked him if he wanted to be with me or not cause I didn’t want to waste my time or energy if he didn’t want this relationship. He ended up saying that he had so much love for me but he didn’t see himself falling in love with me, so I was very calm and just told him “Thank you for being honest, I appreciate that. Take care.” I didn’t beg him, call him, insult him. I didn’t even cry because I didn’t want to let my guard down and give him that pleasure. I never called him or text him after to tell him that I miss him.
I opened tinder a few days later after we broke up because I wanted to take my mind of him and apparently a friend of his had seen me on tinder and sent him a screenshot, so my ex reached out to me saying “I was curious to see how you ended up on tinder so fast. Anyways I hope you find someone who treats you the way you deserve. Have fun” I replied by saying to him that it was time to move on after I spent all my previous months working so hard to make things work and I didn’t reply anymore. After a few days he commented on one of my stories on instagram and I just liked his message but I didn’t reply.
However, a week later he texted and asked how me and my family was doing with all the coronavirus situation and I replied to him asking him about his family as well…Afterwards, he continued the conversation but I didn’t reply.
However,….I wished him for his birthday like 11 days agoo..Oopss.. (I know NC says no birthday wishes) He replied in a very welcoming way and continued a conversation together, just by being funny and kind of teasing each other but none of us mentioned the breakup and we didn’t really make any questions to each other, after exchanging a few texts I stopped replying to him and left him on seen.. Since the last text message it has been 11 days and he hasn’t reached out to me at all, not making any comments about my stories on instagram, not reaching out to me or anything like that..
So I was wondering what your advice would be at this point? Also.. my birthday is in a few days and I am pretty sure he will wish me a happy birthday so I am constantly wondering if I should reply and what my response should be?

I really hope you can help me. Thank you!!!

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

May 2, 2020 at 9:43 am

Hi Ammy,so if you want to follow this program you need to follow the 30 day No Contact rule, without breaking it, if you are going to follow ex boyfriend recovery you are going to have to ignore him for 30 days solid regardless of what he sends you, unless the words at “I want to get back together”

Meghan

April 21, 2020 at 4:36 am

Hi. So I was with this guy for a year, he is a few years younger than me but that never seemed to be an issue. 4 months into our relationship he moved out of state for work and had been living with me for 2 months. We agreed on the LDR thing and all was going well, I thought, until he started becoming distant 2 months into moving. There was no more physical interactions hardly at all. I had my suspicions and confronted around Xmas. He denied and said he was just really stressed at work. I gave him the option to just walk away and let me go if I wasn’t who he wanted but he insisted that I was. By mid Jan he hardly called ever, it was just fb msg. I found out valentines day he had another girl from the town I live in come out to visit him at his new house back in november. I confronted him on that and he admitted to it. I gave him a second chance bc I’ve made mistakes in past relationships and lived to regret them. He kept saying he was “trying” to make more effort and he would call maybe 2 days then right back to fb msg. I would point it out to him and he wouldn’t respond until hours later saying he doesn’t need the drama or stress and that I know how he feels, which I don’t. He has never said he loves me and doesn’t do labels. We’ve both been out of work and he says he’s been sleeping a lot yet I’ve noticed that he has blocked his active status and read msg status so I can’t see him. I ended up blowing up at him a few days ago over text and he hasn’t responded yet in the past, the next day he would msg me like everything is fine. He knows I love him and I’m really close to his parents who still live near me. I haven’t spoken to him in a few days and I’m not sure what I should do.
Kayla

April 14, 2020 at 5:07 pm

My fiance broke up with me 6 weeks before our wedding. We had our issues, but overall a very loving relationship. He said it was because he didn’t feel like I was meeting his emotional needs (Which he had never brought up before but I promised him I was happy to work on), and that he was worried that there was maybe someone else out there for him. For the next week we would talk and get back together (It was pretty even on who would initiate the conversation) but the next day things would be over again because he’d get confused again. He finally suggested that we take a break from communicating for 4-6 weeks so that we could focus on ourselves and have the opportunity to explore the possibility of other relationships if we wanted to, and that we’d reevaluate after that. So in a way, we are both doing no contact. He’s reached out to me a few times, mostly to ask questions about cancelling our honeymoon, and I just have no idea what’s going through his head or if this “no-contact” is even going to work. What should I do?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 14, 2020 at 9:10 pm

Hi Kayla, I think NC is essential so that your ex can miss you, the fact you had got to a point where you were planning on getting married NC will work on this. But it also gives you a chance to work on yourself too, read about the Holy Trinity and also look at how you communicate in a relationship for him to say that you did not meet his emotional needs. Is there possibly any truth in that. I also think he has got a little bit of grass is greener syndrome to say that he thinks there could be someone else out there. He will soon realise that single life is not all that great, in the mean time you will be working to become Ungettable he will regret letting you go

Sandy

April 12, 2020 at 3:43 pm

I ended 30 day NC without any contact from his end; we got the guy here extremely stubborn and who victimized himself at the end. He insulted me to death when he asked me to stop reaching out to him, I reacted on the heat of the moment and said most hurtful things as I could. We then stopped talking- like it ended with all blocks of worst possible ways- he said I was the one with low self esteem.
What should be my next move? Isn’t me contacting first would boost his stubborn pride and think of me on lower grounds than he thinks me already in? Help!

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 13, 2020 at 12:37 am

Hi Sandy if you have completed your NC and taken steps to get over the break up then reaching out with a text that Chris suggests is a good idea where you as him for advice where you know he would be happy to talk to you about that subject, you also need to be the one ending the conversation first. Avoiding emotional conversations, not mentioning your past or about getting back together.

Jess

April 8, 2020 at 11:25 pm

My ex bf and I had been dating for 1.5 years. He is Iraqi and I am not. About 1 year in he informed me this would be difficult for his parents to accept but not impossible. Two weeks ago he broke up with me saying he knows it won’t work, that his parents will not accept us. He didn’t even try to talk to them. He said it’s too much stress. We spoke 1 week after and then again at 2 weeks, this time I told him I cannot be his support system (because no one in his family cares he’s sad). I feel bad he is alone. Will NC motivate him to stand up for what he wants? Would it even make a difference in this situation?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 14, 2020 at 5:46 pm

Hi Jess there is a chance this could work as he will see what life is like without you, you also did the right thing by telling him you can not be the person he relies on to get over the break up because he has chosen not to face the difficult conversations

Kayla

April 7, 2020 at 4:18 am

My ex boyfriend broke up with me about a month ago because he said he lost feelings for me and he told me there wasn’t a chance to get back together. I’m not sure if he meant that truly or just in the moment. I will admit, I have been constantly messaging him, calling him and such and I feel like that’s just pushing him away even more. I’m starting the NC now but I’m afraid it’s too late. He told he’s talking to another girl and that girl likes him but he supposedly doesn’t like her but I don’t believe that. Every time I try to do the NC, he messages me so I reply because I really want him in my life but I know I need time to focus on myself. I’m just afraid that he won’t want me back and start seeing someone else.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 7, 2020 at 11:22 pm

Hi Kayla if you want to follow this program No Contact is an essential part of this, so you need to complete 30 days of NC where you ignore him if he reaches out

Lena Quendler

April 2, 2020 at 6:56 am

Hey, my ex boyfriend is extremely stubborn.
We are both students in the same city, he studies medicine and I chemistry. However, in February we both had a lot of exams, he had them a week before me. So we had no time for each other. In the first week of March he made breakfast for me etc. we had a really good time. On the Friday that week he got the results of one of the exams, and he had failed the second time. We both drove home for the weekend, and on Sunday he came to me and we went for a walk. He said ,I don’t want to break up with you or something, but we need something to change’ we had a long conversation etc. but when we were back at my flat I started to cry, I just started. He calmed me down and we had sex, he told me that he loves me and a good time after that. On the next morning I woke up early and started again to cry. I tried not to wake him up. When he realized that I was crying again, he also had some tears in his eyes. After a bit I asked him if he thinks that we could be as happy as before that. He said, no actually not and that he doesn’t love me anymore and than he broke up with me.

2 days later I drove to his flat bc I needed some things an quarantine started here in Austria. I asked him to try it again, and what’s the reason that he feels that way. The only reason he could say was, that I took the anti baby pill 6 months ago and that I was a little bitchy at that time. That was his only freaking reason!!!
After a bit of talking I asked him to kiss me a last time, I couldn’t remember the last one before that. He first refused, but then we actually had a ,last kiss’.

I’m holding the NC for 3 weeks now, and I’m not surprised that he hasn’t wrote anything to me since then.
I miss him so much…. Do you think we have another chance?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 9, 2020 at 8:32 pm

HI Lena, so NC needs to be 30 days not 3 weeks, and then you reach out with the first text. Work on yourself during that time before reaching out and then from there positively for a short conversation that you end first

Claire

March 28, 2020 at 11:32 pm

I split from my husband of 20 years 7 months ago, he started seeing someone a week after we split. We were in contact for 6 months as we had the dog and house to sort out. This is now all done and I’ve not spoken to him for nearly a month. With covid I’m amazed he hasn’t been in touch to check in on me, should I just forget about him and move on or contact him myself?
Kiionda Carvin

March 28, 2020 at 2:05 pm

So my ex partner and I have been in a LDR for 3 years on and off. There has been many arguments, differences and lack of effort. I finally broke it off with him on 2/2/20 for disrespecting me, and which was the last time I saw him. He contacted me at the end of February to talk and I totally gave him the cold shoulder and was still waiting for an apology or some acknowledgment of his bizarre actions the last night we saw each other. He said that he was drunk and didn’t mean what he said. Still it hurt my feelings coming from someone that claimed he loved me. After that conversation he went ghost and so did I. Then I had a pregnancy scare and tried to reach out to him only realizing that my number was blocked. I then text him from another number asking for him to reach out to talk about the situation. At that time I thought I was pregnant so when he called me I explained that. He then said he wasn’t ready and I also said I didn’t want anymore kids and we would handle if I was. He then said that was about to drink and that he’d call me back. I thought that was very rude and selfish of him to say that under the circumstances that were mentioned. We hung up and it took him 3 days to call me back. He called 3/10/20 and 3/11/20 and blocked his number while calling and I knew it was him but I didn’t answer because I was upset that it took him so long to reach back out. Now it’s been like 3 weeks of no contact and when I try to call him on his cell phone it goes straight to his voicemail everytime. I’m not blocked because I tried calling from another number and it does the same thing as if his phone died and he didn’t bother charging it to turn it back on. Is he avoiding me to get my attention to show up to his house or something ? or is he mad because I ignored him the days he tried reaching out to me before? a lot goes through my mind should I write to him? I have no other way of getting in contact unless I literally go to his house. What should I do? He turned the tables on me with no contact .What is he trying to gain and is there hope? I want communication from him.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 30, 2020 at 11:08 pm

Hi Kiionda, so as your ex seems to be NC you, it shows its power of taking the power away from talking to someone when you want to. This is the power of NC at its best and there is nothing you can really do until you have completed 30 days of NC yourself, focusing on yourself. You ended the relationship based on him not showing you respect, but then started to chase him. The best thing for you to do right now is work on your Holy Trinity, and focus on getting over the break up and allowing this space to happen so then, when you reach out your conversation with your ex is going to be positive and have less pressure as you have both taken time away

Kate

March 26, 2020 at 6:54 pm

Hey guys! So about 2 weeks ago my boyfriend broke up with me. We were dating for 3 years and we’re going really strong. We spoke about our future together and how we would move out and getting engaged. Everything was great in the relationship until I found out what his mother was like. She is a narcissist. I went on a family holiday with them in 2018 and I am extremely scared of planes. My boyfriend and I went ahead so we could get our seats as I was scared and she came up behind us and completely abused me and made me cry. My boyfriend couldn’t believe it but also didn’t say anything to her. The rest of the trip was horrible and I just wanted to be home with my family. That was the start of it. After this she would say rude comments and make jokes about our sex life. My boyfriend never said a thing to her. He’s a mummy’s boy might I add if you haven’t picked up on that yet.
I kept saying to him it’s mean what she’s doing and I don’t like it. To my knowledge he never said anything to her. He said to me multiple times “ I hate the way she treats you”. My family went on a cruise with his family and a couple of groups of their friends just in January passed. A situation occurred which was really silly and his mother ended up making my mum, sister and my best friend cry. He stood up for my family at the start but as soon as he spoke to her he changed his tune. I didn’t go over there much after that. She bought me gifts and made me feel special after that. After this my boyfriend and I were really stressed out about the situation and I didn’t know what to do. We had fights about it and I didn’t know where I stood, after all he was my boyfriend and I think I put up with enough crap over the years and I wanted him to stand up for me. The other week he came over to mine and out of the blue said I think we should break up. He said it’s too stressful between you and mum and I feel as thought I’m always caught in the middle of it. He said I know in the future it won’t get any better and will get worse and I want to end it now so it’s not as bad in the future. He was saying other nitpicking things to me saying that we were too emotionally different people. He said that he wants me to be happy and thah he loves me a lot and that I’m really beautiful. He kept saying he had to do it. He kept saying sorry and kept hugging me and wouldn’t let go. He spent 3 hours with me and at the end I asked him will you ever come back and he said I don’t want to give you any false hopes or promises. And then he ended with I guess this is goodbye.
He said he would prefer me not to text him for my own good ans thah he wanted to go our seperate ways. After 3 years I can’t believe he did this. Please help me with some advice!!

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 6, 2020 at 2:20 pm

Hi Kate, by the sounds of this his mother has controlled the whole situation to what she wants and him ending things is just showing you that he will not stand up to his mother at all. Regardless of what you say. The only way this would work is if he was to stand up to her and put her in her place, which I dont see him doing unless he really wants to be with someone. You can work the Ungettable girl information stick with a NC and attempt to get him more invested into you but I do this having a controlling mother behind him means that she is going to get a say in every part of his life until he tells her otherwise

jennifer

March 25, 2020 at 1:53 pm

Hey. My boyfriend (now ex) broke up with me a month ago after six years together. There were no big fight or hatred, he only told me that he loves me but are not in love with me (we discussed it afterwards and part of the reason was that he felt bad and depressed, because he didn’t like his job, had no friends in the city we live in (he moved here because of me) – and felt that our relationship wasn’t fun anymore since he was working night and I was working day we didn’t see each other.

After the breakup he kept reaching out to me, and called me – telling me that I ment the world to him, that he was afraid that he had made a mistake (he never told me directly that he regretted the decision and wanted me back – and he also told me once that he was ready to date others and get tinder). So I told him three times to stop contacting me. (The other two times he broke the contact and wrote to me or called me even if I told him that I needed time alone and to back of).
But after the third time when we spoke on the phone in two hours and I told him one last time that I needed to have a no contact period to get over him – he actually listened to me and told me that he would try to respect that – but if it were up to him he would continue to talk to me. And he hasn’t called me or written to me since. It’s been 14 days – and I know it isn’t logical of me to want him to call me and write to me – since I told him to back off. But I am really struggling with no contact – and at the same time I am afraid that he won’t ever contact me. Because I still want him back.

So the question is; since I told him (three times) that he cannot contact me – should I contact him after – say about 30-45 days? or should I wait until he reaches out? Or should I just let this relationship go.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 31, 2020 at 1:36 am

Hi Jennifer, if you choose to follow this program then yes I would tell you to reach out after 45 days of NC and use a text that Chris suggests

Sarah

March 14, 2020 at 8:45 am

Hi I seem to have doubts about this. I was dumped by my ex 5 days ago. He broke up with me in a very cruel way..we lived together but he broke up with me via text while he was at work and demanded that I move out and that he doesn’t want to find me there when he finishes work. The day after he texted me stating he wanted to see how I was doing and to give me an update about his life. I am still hung up on him so I kind of told him that I want to keep contact with him. He said that he personally has no problem with it but that he doesn’t want to give me high hopes because once he breaks up with someone, it’s final sort of. The conversation soon ended because he still took the impression that I had high hopes, he told me he was off to sleep and I didn’t respond. He had told me during the same conversation that he loves me and does miss me but that it isn’t fair if he says this stuff to me and that we aren’t meant for each other. So in this case…we are during the no contact period, but even if there will be contact in a month’s time or so..will there still be hope?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 20, 2020 at 9:16 pm

Hi Sarah, so doing a no contact, you need to make sure you are focusing on yourself and not your ex. Get over the break up and focus on the Holy Trinity. There is hope, but giving that you follow the advice on this website, stick to it and be disciplined. Try not to mix programs as this can ruin your progress.

Aimie Young

March 11, 2020 at 7:46 pm

My ex boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. It has been rough the last 6 months as he cheated on me. We tried to work through it, but ended it at the beginning of February. I admit that I did the NC rule without realizing it..i really just needed time and space. Last week we met and things were really good. He wanted to have sex, but I didn’t and so I left. We got into an argument and he said that he made a mistake, that he didn’t want me back, and he was moving on. I lost my mind and I called and texted and got no response. Two days later I found out he is now with a new girl, but he is trying to be secretive about it. I decided to do the NC rule again in an attempt to get him back. I am only on day 4 but I’m losing my mind. I don’t want to block him on social media or else he can’t see the changes in making. This new girl has a great job, a nice car, and they are sending posting sweet posts on each other’s page. He took her to our spot at the beach. Any tips on how to get through this? I’m worried because he has never gone this long without texting me. Did I mess up by doing no contact without even knowing I was doig it?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 24, 2020 at 12:21 am

Hi Aimie, so the fact that your ex has cheated on you do you feel that you can forgive and forget if you were to get back together? No you did not mess up by doing a No Contact… You need to switch your way of thinking. He lost you, he cheated on you! Allow yourself to be hurt by whats happened but make sure that you also move past the betrayal. Read about the being there method if you want him back If you want to get over him then you go into an indefinite no contact

Anna

March 8, 2020 at 9:38 am

Hi Shauna, i really need your help. Me and my ex dated for 10 months. We broke up due to our constant fights and i broke him up because of his anger issues via call. I tried the NC and it’s been 38 days since we broke up. I tried contacting him on the 30th day to take my things but he said he would write to me soon. But he didnt write to me at all. What should i do? Thankyou

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 10, 2020 at 10:36 pm

Hi Anna, so if you want your ex back then you need to reach out with a text that is along the line that Chris suggests, not one where you ask for your things as you are bringing up the memories and the break up. You need to get him to have a shot and positive conversation first and then mention your belongings at a later time

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