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essie
January 14, 2014 at 9:11 am
so he broke up with me.cuz he said i was too young and right now he cant see himself loving me… im 30 he is 45.so i did text him once or twice that i missed him.every time he responded back.. well i stopped texting him cuz i gavee up. a week later he text me, calls me just to say hi, and today he called me to ask if i wanted to go out to eat or watch a movie with him…… i just dont know what he wants, im confused
essie
January 14, 2014 at 9:14 am
i forgot to mention weve been together for 2 and half hours.
essie
January 14, 2014 at 9:15 am
years not hours lol
sarcs
January 25, 2014 at 4:01 am
Thanks for the small laugh reading “2 and a half hours”. I could really use it. Kudos to you for brightening up my day a bit ^^ *
solmaz
January 12, 2014 at 8:04 pm
Hi Chris,
I came across your website while I was surfing to fidn a remedy for my pain.
My boyfriend and I were together for about 1 year and a half. After 6 months of being together we moved together, i was his everything. Unfortunately because of work related stress, although I would try not to reflect it in our relationship but I did, thus everything changed. I had a visa problem so I put him under constant pressure to get married but he refused. He said he was not ready to take responsibility and he had so many things to achieve. We had an amazing time together, he would laugh with me from bottom of his heart, we had a great chemistry, we would feel each other deeply, we had so much fun that we did need anyone’s companionship but still he let me go! he said he needed time and space. Although he could have supported me financially to stay there but he did not made much afford. Eventually my visa expired and I left. we are still in touch, but he doesnt want commitment. he says he wants to focus on doing something to prove himself to his family. he still calls me babe and love and we have planned to go on a trip. but he doesnt email/text me often. I forgot to say that his family were against as I was older than him and because of religion difference.
His best friend assured me that he is not seeing or dating anyone, and I believe.
I have given him space, i dont call him or text unless he does. I dont play game, when he texts or emails I get back to him as usual.
I just do not get it, if someone has so much peace and fun and love with someone, how let her go!
I even said that I am planning to come back but he is not supporting that, saying that he wants to focus on his statement and spending time with me, would prevent him.
I am deeply in love with him, sometimes i feel I cant live without seeing his eyes.
I dont know if he loves me or just care about me. whenever I need him, he is there for me, if i call him saying i am not good, he calls me straight away.
I dont know how to handle when i see him, be normal as we used to date , have sex and kiss or behave like a ex girlfriend and ask for commitment.
I also read your articlle about rating yoru relationship, he used to say that he was very happy with me and myself rate our relationship 8 out of 10. if i didnt have my visa situation i can say it was 10 out of 10.
please advise me, does it shows that he is still in love with me! is it worth giving him more time. It has been 2 months we have fell apart.
many thanks
admin
January 13, 2014 at 6:15 pm
Hi there!
I think he will always have feelings for you but there are other stuff that you have to contend with. Bummer about the visa. 🙁
solmaz
January 13, 2014 at 7:30 pm
thanks alot chris for getting back to me! how would you describe his psychology! he has feelings for me, fair enough but when I say I will come back, he is not supportive! he does’nt want me there! as a woman if I have feelings for someone I want him to be close to me.
thanks alot
admin
January 14, 2014 at 5:30 pm
Sometimes you have to work to earn that from men though.
solmaz
January 12, 2014 at 8:12 pm
I have to add that he knows i am deeply in love with him and that I cant be able to move on with someone else.
I just dont know how to change the situation that him get scared of losing me. at the moment he is not.
thanks alot
Sarah
January 12, 2014 at 9:27 am
Hey Chris .. Me and my now to be ex broke up three weeks ago . He doesn’t have answers to why we broke up . The only thing he said was relationship screws him over and that he wanted to be single .. I tried very hard to get him back but nothing work .. All he wants to do is be friends with me now and I don’t want that I just want him back but I just don’t know what to do if I don’t talk or message him he won’t message me at all then .but he still has like our pictures and still talks about our past . I really need your advise .. Please and thank you
Erin Lynn
January 11, 2014 at 4:34 am
Hey. So, my situation is kind of complicated. My ex and I were in a relationship for over three years, and engaged for almost a year. He started to act strange and one day had a breakdown about everything in his life; family, being self-conscious, school, work and said that he kind of wanted a break and started feeling like he rushed our engagement. I became very upset and decided to give him a night to think. I left and the next morning he was very sorry and loving and said he wanted us to be together. Over time I just started to become paranoid and had been a little even before this. A girl he works with had been talking to him a lot and they were just texting and joking around…kind of flirting. I would ask if he had a crush on her and he always said no. Then we were in our friends wedding, which was upsetting to me because we were no longer engaged, just holding off. He wanted to stay engaged though. It was my decision to hold off on it. After their wedding I asked him again if he had a crush on this girl. He finally said yes and did it with regret. I told him that I didn’t want to be the controlling girlfriend, but said I didn’t feel comfortable with them talking anymore. He agreed and stopped texting, but I was still skeptical. Over time he became distant and one night he just told me we no longer needed to be together. He wouldn’t let me discuss it with him he said “I’m not going back on this.” He said he didn’t want to be in a relationship, wanted to be alone, didn’t feel like putting forth any effort into a relationship. I begged, but it didn’t help. He just said that he didn’t love me anymore and I couldn’t believe what he was telling me. The next day I decided to stay with my cousin. Then almost immediately he was moving my things into our guest bedroom. He said he wanted to make it easier for me to move my stuff. One night while he was at work I decided to just get my stuff out and I left him a long note about how I felt. We talked that night and he said that he would have helped me get my things out. Then when I mentioned the note he just kind of changed the subject. About a week later he started to hangout with this girl he works with. Then barely a month after we broke up he was dating her…then shortly after, in a relationship with her. Basically, me and everyone are left confused. He has been with her for approximately 5 months. Does this seem like a rebound? What should I do? I’m so confused.
admin
January 12, 2014 at 4:43 am
If it lasts longer than 5 months I would say its getting more serious.
Erin Lynn
January 15, 2014 at 5:51 am
Well, they’ve been together since September……I just don’t know how he can get serious with someone after being with me for almost 4 years and a year long engagement….
Erin Lynn
January 15, 2014 at 5:55 am
Where I didn’t do anything to him personally…I just can’t understand why he wouldn’t want to talk to me…It really hurts because I want us to be friends, but now he won’t even speak to me.
Erin Lynn
January 11, 2014 at 4:35 am
I would also like to add that a month ago I contacted him and told him that I still loved him and he didn’t respond. Do you think him not responding is a good sign?
elsa
January 9, 2014 at 12:52 pm
Hi chris!. thanks for your site, I have followed everything. im done with the NC and it’s been a month since my ex and I have started dating agaim. But now I dont know what to do. I dont know if he only looks at me as a friend or more than that. Whenever we are together, I feel like he still likes me because he plays with my hair and becomes very hyper than usual when we are together. But he told our common friend that he is just hanging out with me because we are friends. and our common friend told me that I should not assume that he still likes me.
Then yesterday we met again. While we were walking, he suddenly hold my hands with itertwined fingers for 5 seconds but slowly let go of it afterwards. When we are about to go home, he said sorry to me for holding my hand.He said he just miss it. I dont get why he said sorry. Does it mean he regrets holding my hand? What shall I do, chris? Shall I do NC again? or shall I wait for him to be the one to tell me if he still likes me?
Please answer my question, Chris. 🙂
admin
January 10, 2014 at 1:42 am
I doubt he regrets holding your hand.
He is probably worried that you think he stepped over the line.
Nadia
January 7, 2014 at 3:53 pm
I stopped seeing my boyfriend when my dad passed away. My boyfriend wasnt there for me at the time and i hardly used to hear from him. I now know he had his own family issues at that time.
He contacted me several times over the space of about 6 months but i kept ignoring him. A year or so after his last attempt at contacting me, i noticed he looked at my linkedin profile.
About 9 months after that i sent him an email asking how he was. By this time a total time of around 3 years has passed. He replied and everything was like before. He was flirty and chatty and said “do we need to have a chat? We both seem to have wanted to be in touch, a catchup will put a smile on both of our faces, i hope”. I agreed to meet up but then he eventally cancelled.
Another 5 months or so passed with no contact. Then in mid december 2013 he messaged me out of the blue asking to meet up again. I agreed and he arranged to meet at our usual spot at Frankie & Bennys. I took this as a positive sign that he wanted to get back together.
When we met it was great, just like old times. He spoke about things we used to do together and was flirty. He apologised for not being there for me when my dad passed away and admitted he was an assh*le. Then he told me hes married. I was shocked.
A couple of days later i messaged him asking why he wanted to meet as i was confused. He said he wants good people in his life and im one of them. I replied saying he wont have time for me as a friend and that he should have told me ages ago hes married. He didnt reply so a few days later i apologised for being mean. He said i can be as mean as i like, he’ll still like me. I said i still like him too. He said he was sad when i was annoyed with him to which i said can you blame me.
I mesaged him at new year and said he was handsome, he said i looked better than ever too. I said i wish i hadnt let him go and he said hes still here. What does this mean when hes married?
So we are flirty in our messages but hes married. Does he just want to be friends? Why bother being friends?
When i asked about his wife he said he met her and within a year they got married. That is quick. He didnt sound happy in his marriage, he said “sometimes life takes you down a path and you just go with it”. He also spoke about having many regrets in his life. He said when hes on his deathbed he will be thinking about the way he treated me
I know hes married but i cant seem to get him out of my head. He doesnt need to be my friend after 3 years so why does he want me around? Its so hard for me to accept that hes married, it really hurts
Nadia
January 7, 2014 at 3:55 pm
I forgot to mention that our relationship didnt really end badly. I just stopped speaking to him. I guess i was traumatised over my dads death. So there wasnt any real closure between me and my boyfriend
Candi
January 6, 2014 at 3:02 pm
Hello Chris. I have really enjoyed your website and it has been insightful in my situation. I was hoping that you can give me some ideas of what I should do about my breakup with my boyfriend that I still love and want to be with. My boyfriend and I broke up last July because he says that he does not trust me and that we want different things in life which is not totally true. We do want the same things I just think that the trust issues he has amplified any and everything that may have been or might become and issue. We were together for about 20 months. In the beginning before we became a couple we both had friends or ex’s that contacted us. After officially becoming a couple within the first 4 months of our relationship he went through my phone and discovered that I had been communicating with a couple of those friends or ex’s.The reason I was communicating with my ex was because there was closure that needed to happen for my ex. The conversation seemed to be more about that than anything else. He said I lied to him about talking to my ex. Which I never told hiim I NEVER talk to him. I just told him that we occasionally talk which is true and I didn’t see that as a problem as long as I wasn’t seeing him or cheating. However, this really upset my boyfriend and he has not gotten over these things. However, we decided to continue our relationship because we both were very attracted and in love with one another. After about a year of dating these negative emotions started to surface again and he became very angry and upset and said that he was not happy and didn’t know if we could continue our relationship. He said he need a break or time to think about what he wanted and to see if I was the woman he could not live without. So we went into a two month “break” period in which we were talking but not as much and still physically and sexually active. After these few months we officially broke it off. He immediately began to hang out with another woman who he describe as his friend after I asked him about her. Immediately after our break up we were no contact for 7 weeks. He then reached out to me to come and get his things from my place. When we saw each other we had a very decent conversation and even smiled at one another and hugged. We started to communicate by text message about three weeks after our last contact. We only communicate by text during this time/ 2 or 3 times per week. Over Thanksgiving holiday we ended up hooking up and ended up having sex because we both are very sexually attracted to one another. After that, our communicate went down a little and now He has recently has began to date this woman that he considered a friend. He did come out and tell me and I was shocked that he moved on. He has since the new reached out to me about it but he stills wants to carry on a physical relationship with me. I really cant believe that he is treating me this way considering the amount of love and attraction we have for one another. I don’t understand why he would be trying to move on to another relationship but keep contact with me. He says, that he doesn’t want a relationship with me at this moment because he is still hurt by the things that I did and he doesn’t think we could work out but that he has a strong sexual attraction toward me still even after 7 months. When I call or text him he always answers. My questions to you is, what should I do from here? We have had sex once since our breakup. I don’t want to play the “side person” because I was once his girlfriend and received much more attention and affection however, I don’t want to totally lose him. Even when we broke up he always would say and still says that sex with me was the best and that he really misses being intimate with me. He has a new girlfriend now and now I am wondering, how can he say he is happy where he is but yet call me or text me and want to maintain a connection somehow. What is my next best move?? You advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
J.H.
January 6, 2014 at 3:25 am
Hi Chris! Well, me and my first love broke up when I was 18 and he was 19. I broke up with him out of fear and being influenced by mother who was also suffering from a bad breakup. I broke his heart, but I was even more devastated for doing it because prior to that, we had been together since 12 and 13. We wanted to spend the rest of our loves with each other, but that all changed in the blink of an eye. I moved on to bad relationships and eventually married about a year after the breakup, but I was still madly in love with my ex. He found out about my marriage and again was devastated. I married him because I had just came out of an abusive relationship and had been raped, so I was ashamed to go back to who I really wanted and assumes he would look at me as damaged goods(what the abusive guy told me I was). So I married the guy that knew about all that shame and bad stuff because he didn’t look down on me. I ended up divorcing him after 2 years and had enough confidence to find,my first love and try to make it work again. We started dating and it was just like old times, until I caught him hugged up with another girl. I was heartbroken and even more devastated that after he dumped me for her, a later, he would marry her. Even though it was terribly hard, I had to move on because I figured I had gotten what I deserved for breaking his heart. Well, 11 long and hard years, he’s going through a terrible separation and impending divorce . In 2012, he contacts me by Facebook and asks can he talk to me. I was very nervous, but I really wanted to talk to him too, so I allowed him to call me. We ended up spending 4 hours doing nothing but asking for forgiveness, forgiving, crying, laughing, and reminiscing. We kept this up until right before Christmas. We had went.out and he even kissed me and those old feelings are definitely still there. He started acting aloof towards me after that date and we finally had the talk of all talks when he and I had a telling match(the very first one we have ever had in all of 23 years of knowing each other). He cussed me out and said some hurtful things like he loves me but is not in love with me, he knew he could never be back with me when I called him that fateful day back in 98 to tell him I couldn’t be with him anymore, and that there’s no way I could still be in love with him after all these years and had other children by someone else (which on everything I love, I am still very much in love with him, but couldn’t be friends with him because of my feelings for him and he is still married even though he is separated). Needless to say, I was hurt and pretty confused. So as a result, our talking to each other just about everyday for a year has went to no contact (that I initiated), to give us space. I hope I am doing the right thing even though I miss him terribly. He’s never treated me like that before and he clearly admitted that he got back at me because he wanted me to feel the hurt of what I had done to him. So why is this all coming back up after we supposedly forgave each other? This is all new to me. He has never acted that way before and he’s the guy he doesn’t want to hurt anyone.What do I do, if there is anything to do? Thank you so much!
J.H.
January 6, 2014 at 7:09 am
*I apologize for the typos. I was writing the comment from my stupid SMART phone 🙂
Latoya
January 5, 2014 at 2:45 pm
Hi Chris, my ex-boyfriend and i broke up in the end ofJuly and he started talking to someone in August. They are still together now, and she stays over every weekend. We have a child together, and we constantly argue but everytime we do, its like he is angry with me and makes comments about me seeing other guys and sleeping with then which is not true. What can his anger mean? Hes jelous? Or does he still care? Hes the one that moved on
Latoya
January 7, 2014 at 3:39 pm
Btw… I have already done mc
Maddie
January 4, 2014 at 11:35 pm
My ex broke up with me about a month ago, and I miss him terribly. I always text first and he will usually respond within an hour, but I started no contact a week ago and he hasn’t texted me or called. He will wave to me if he sees me however I just try to ignore him. When he ended our nine-month relationship he said he just didn’t feel it anymore, but just a few days prior everything was fine and we came very close to sex, as neither of us believe in sex before marriage we didn’t actually do it. He also said he was prepared for the added responsibility that that would bring, and he ended it eight days after that night. I keep wondering if there’s hope left, as he hasn’t started dating another girl and he had a mild form of depression towards the end, we weren’t fighting or anything. What should I do? :/
admin
January 5, 2014 at 7:54 pm
Give him his space for now and focus your energy on YOU for a while.
Maddie
January 5, 2014 at 12:33 am
You should know we typically always communicated very well and had a very high amount of trust between each other. He said he wanted to be friends but like I said he hasn’t contacted me first, and I did spend the first few weeks after our breakup talking to him about it and alluded to the fact that if he changed his mind I’d be willing to be with him again. Is it too late to start no contact? I should add that during the relationship he said the “I love you” first, kissed me first, etc, he initiated most of it. Again any help is really appreciated!
Jessica
January 4, 2014 at 3:05 am
Hi Chris,
My situation is a little different. I had an affair with someone for almost a year. We were in love but realized for the sake of our kids, we would work things out with our spouses. It’s been 4 years and all I think of is him (even though Im in love and happier than ever with my husband) I haven’t stopped thinking of him. We live is same town still and we’ve occasionally seem each other around but never talked. Just the other day he approached me by saying “you don’t have to talk to me, you can ignore me if you want, but just thought you would want to see how big my daughter has gotten.” I didn’t say anything. I was in shock! So I went to his work a week and a half later and told him I wanted to talk. He called me tonight and we talked about our past. He told me we both knew there were feelings between us and that when he sees a jeep he looks to see if its me. He says his life is crazy and that if I wanted to keep his number I could use it again… What does all this mean from a mans perspective?
Thanks
admin
January 4, 2014 at 6:52 pm
He still has feelings for you but they are undefined. Maybe you can do something (slowly) to get him to redefine them.
maria
January 3, 2014 at 6:32 pm
Okay im in a difficult situation.. Ive been in a relationship with my ex for amost 2 years everything was very noce in the beginin i had my pride because i was scared to get hurt i had a string attitude i would walk away from him or hang up the phone but i always said sorry to him and ge forgave me well throughout the time little by little he changed he became less sweeter he cared less and got very verbaly aggressive.. While he change to bad i left my pride and became to be a better girlfriend for him we both changed… There was this day that i lied to him about something that happened before we even met i forgot i had told him but i guess he was testing me and well i failed ever since then ge changed completely he would always think i was lying to him and always threw things at my face he was getting annoyed about everything i did or said.. After a week he broke up with me we still talked so i guess he took me back because we still talked and saw eachother.. After a month he would make an argument for everything and said to me that he didnt care if we was together anymore and it was up to me i didnt want to be the one go break up with him so a month passed by and he broke up with me for no reason.. We stayed on moving on but then few days later he txted to tell me to dont forget about him that our loves is forever he just wants space and since u was mad i said stupid things and got him mad again and told me to just move one he did the same thing twice after that… I dont know what to do honestly idk if he loves me or what he wants right now we giving our space but idk:/ please advice me
Kitkat
January 3, 2014 at 2:42 am
Hey Chris, so I’ve been doing no contact for a few months now because he is in a rebound. Well, he posts all kinds of mixed messages on Facebook about me and I need a little advice in how to handle it as well as what it really means. He is so hot and cold about me. One minute, he is posting quotes from famous poets and authors about how much he loved me. “I loved her, not for the way she danced with my angels but for the way the sound of her name could silence my demons”. Sweet romantic things such as that. Next moment, he posts how he wishes he could ductape some peoples mouths around him and his friends will like it and make comments about it, sort of making fun of me because I laugh too much in their opinion. My ex never had a problem with my laughing a log when we were together, but now he gets so angry, he doesn’t post my name when he makes these comments but his posts are a bit hurtful, intimidating and frightening. When he posts that he wishes he could sucker punch some people in the throat around him and get away with it (were co-workers btw, but like I said, haven’t spoken in a while) and these posts are about me because now my laugh seems to annoy him, don’t you think that is going way too far? And them he goes back to posting love songs about me and us and our past relationship and about being hurt, how there are so many words left unspoken and all that. So I am extremely hurt and confused. Does he really hate me that much to want to hurt me or is this just another defense mechanism from the pain of our breakup? How do I handle him being so hot and cold on me, back and forth, back and forth? It really hurts me and cuts my self esteem down. Please help.
admin
January 3, 2014 at 7:58 pm
Are you doing NC?
maria
January 4, 2014 at 3:40 am
Well im tryin to i said we should not talk and just today like he called me to ask something about school and i told him he could of just called the school or txt his friend and i just said bye and thats All.. The nc is going to be difficult why because his parents and i get a long really well and his mothers birthday is coming up and im buying her somethig n going over his house n he might be there:( can you tell me something? I wanted to go away for 2 weeks and he is getting mad for that and telling its a mistake and he thinks im going away to forget him i really need help everything is confusing for me right now:(
Kitkat
January 3, 2014 at 11:04 pm
Yes I am, for a few months.
Denise
December 30, 2013 at 9:33 pm
To be honest I no longer care about my ex anymore it was good while it lasted but now that we are over for 2months I can see he was never worth my time his true colors showed now once it ended he treated me well but at the end he did the most damaged for no reason just to get with some girl who is gonna harm him once more for being easy, leaving him hikies and flirting with other guys while they taken when i woukd treat him super well (care,love,understand,listen even bake etc)and respect him as a person,but knowing him he just going to hurt himself more than what he did to me by leaving me for no reason and trying to find a way to leave me and never be able to explain himself for it but to hide like a coward that he is now I’m free to find someone who will be worth my time love and care just a bit bumbbed out that I put time to something that I thought would last just to findout that it was all a lie to begin with and I was the one who let it happen by being a fool to believe and trust in someone as much as I did with him, so word of advice ladies you honestly can do better you might not realize it right now but maybe the brake up was for the better? Now u can find someone worth ur time and love, there are more guys out there ur ex isn’t the only one just no men/guys can tel u sweet things they are good with words but if they see u don’t let lose like they want u to they leave u for someone who will but they will come back once they want to finally settle down and you can say sorry I moved on and found someone worth my time than being sad with a heartache just be happy show him u don’t need him u didn’t need him back then and u sure don’t need him now sorry if u disagree with me its just my opinion
admin
January 1, 2014 at 10:39 pm
Hey you are entitled to your opinion! I respect it and even support it if it is what helps you find happiness!
Lydia
December 28, 2013 at 7:20 am
Chris,
Hope you are well. Just reading over this article again for some clarity!
I’ve been in no contact for close to a year. I’ve written to you before about my situation. My ex has contacted me a few times in recent months via text and email. I have not responded to them, as I dont know what I want and I dont understand his intentions after stone walling me for so long. His most recent was an ‘xmas message’ asking to hang out, but telling me he doesn’t want anything relationship-wise etc. Pretty ballsy to ask me to meet him considering I havent replied to any of his messages? And if he doesnt want anything why keep messaging? I’m confused. He also hinted that he’s changed. He’s also bumped into some of my friends and tried to make small talk. Should I keep ignoring him until I know what I want or should I respond? I know you’re supposed to feel thrilled when an ex who left you wants to talk again but it’s made me feel unprepared. Would love to know what your opinion is. Merry Xmas.
Lydia
January 6, 2014 at 12:53 pm
?
Jess
December 27, 2013 at 5:34 am
Hi Chris,
My ex and I have been broken up for almost 5 months. I completed NC (I did about 3 months of NC). My friends and yourself finally convinced me to text him and after about a month and a half of him randomly texting me but never holding a conversation with me, we are finally starting to hold actual conversations we even flirt a little. Throughout this process I have established that he was (and maybe still is) afraid of me. I have dropped several hints that we should go out but he seems to be holding back. Nonetheless, he is starting to me text me often again. Could this mean that he is scared of me (still) and being overly cautious? Or is he just playing with me because he is bored? Or that he is not getting my hints and I should just ask him if he would like to hang out? I am so confused. While I know you do not personally know him and you can’t read minds, I value your opinion and would greatly appreciate your input.
admin
December 27, 2013 at 7:35 pm
I would vote overly cautious more than anything.
Griselda
December 26, 2013 at 2:57 am
First want to say you are awesome. Thanks for the holiday special. I’m getting your ebook today. Your insight is uncanny. Its just completely addictive. I try to consume add much knowledge and info. I stumbled across your page when I was very heartbroken 3 months ago. It had helped me through. I read countless post from other women and I can see Mt faults in them and in the content of your site. But there comes a point when you have to buy the book. That’s the point where I’m at.
Update.
Sunday. Bowling date…
Monday. I text a Happy Holidays.3pm …. No response
Tuesay. He text me to inquire about my flight 8pm I didn’t respond.
Wednesday. He called…. I didn’t answer
Wednesday. I replied via text 8 hr later that I landed safely.
Wednesday. He responded .. Merry Christmas Booger.
I’m just now reading your response. Otherwise I would not have texted him. I see you suggested to go No contact. I already did NC for 90 days. So I do I do another 30 days? Is there a section in the e book you can refer me to?
Jessica
December 24, 2013 at 7:46 am
hi my name is jess and my ex broke up with me 3 days ago. We had been going out for near to 2 years. He says he still loves me and acts like we are still together but he doesnt want a relationship with me anymore. However he says that maybe their is a possibility that we will date in a year or two. His reason for breaking up with me is because we were getting to like a married couple and i was becoming clingy. While we were in a relationship i always asked him if he had a problem with me and he would always say everything was fine. We have been talking like good friends for the past 3 days as if nothing has happened. I am very confused because he says he is in love with me and misses me but he doesnt want to be with me. he keeps saying that i need to get with other guys and have fun but all i want his him. what should i do?
admin
December 24, 2013 at 7:31 pm
Are you doing NC?
Griselda
December 23, 2013 at 9:36 pm
My bf broke up after 1 yr. I went 3 mo. of NC. When I finally texted he was excited but said that I hurt him & he isnt interested in a relationship. He only wants to be friends. The 1st time we talked it was breif. He was still angry. The second time it lasted for 6 hrs. It was great. But since then the few times I call he doesnt answer. He waits a few days to call me back. It a hit and miss. It doesnt seem that he is that eager in communicating with me.
He said he is angry b/c I ignored him for 3 months and that he is hurt. He claims he doesnt have anyone and hasnt dated anyone. I agreed to go bowling with him and spend NYE. But 1 night we got into an agurment b/c he hasnt been contacting me. So, I canceled the NYE plans. The next day I felt bad for overreacting. So I told him lets just go out anyway.
He agreed to go bowling but he made other plans the day we orignally set and that he didnt know about NYE since I cancelled on him. He says that I cant just go back an forward with him and expect him to be there waiting. So we went bowling lastnight it was magical. I had a great time at the begining he was defensive He said: “I’m glad you finally agreed to my terms and you arent going to always get your way.” During the date he starred into my eyes, tended to my needs at the alley, casually hinted that I was probably dating someone else, at the end of the date he hugged me and snuck a quick kiss on the cheek carried me out to my car and he talked to me all the way to my apartment. That was lastnight I havent heard from him since.
I think he should be chasing me at the moment. But he isnt. What should I do. I want to see him New Years Eve. So I ask him again? Or is his distance a sign that he isnt that in to me and just want an ego boost? What do you think I should do?
Continue NC?
Is his distance a sign of pain or the fact that he has moved on/another person?
Wait a few days then contact him?
HELP CONFUSED IN NJ
admin
December 24, 2013 at 6:56 pm
Yes I think continuing NC is a good idea.
zane
December 22, 2013 at 9:52 pm
I was dateing a guy since a year everythng ws going well but all of suden he has started takeing me for granted started maintaing distance staying aloof he weeds alot i thot he is emotionLy chalenged as it was effect of weed.although i tried making an effort to know whats the matter is he rplys chill n for dAys he keeps on ignoreing and finally day has kum i have decided to break up with him and he neva wanted me to leav .but nowbi find him chilld up and i want him back ..what shud i do??
admin
December 23, 2013 at 8:00 pm
Have you tried the NC rule yet?