18 Proven Signs That My Ex Wants Me Back (Based On Research)

1,519 thoughts on “Signs My Ex Wants Me Back”

Kate

February 3, 2014 at 12:51 am

So… I had a boyfriend for almost 7 months, he went on a trip and all of the sudden he wanted to break up, he said he was missing too much with me and he wanted to enjoy college.
He would always make a comment on other girls pics and stuff, but I didn’t say anything ever, and idk sometimes things were going bad, but it was more good things than bad
I do really want him back, but I don’t know if he really wants to.
He always tells me that he wants to be my friend and always get upset when I don’t say hi or anything at him
And the other day he asked me if I was talking with another boy
I started the NC thing, but what do you think, is there maybe a chance he wants me back?
Leah

February 1, 2014 at 10:30 pm

Hey Chris, i dumped my bf of 5 months on a rash decision just being sick of his bs (realising now after reassessing the relationship it was both parties really and it just got too heated).

However, this was an issue we were working on and a small part of me did it to prove i could finish it first without getting depressed etc. like my first relationship, an insecurity i have regarding relationships. I feel it was rash and hasty and much too soon.

You said in another article about legit reasons to ignore the 30 day rule if it was hasty or because of an argument which i think it is, However, you also recommend the 30 day rule. Its been about 5 days since we broke up now and im wondering which piece of advice to take. I like the 30 day rule but he hasnt contacted me yet and i dont want to give him the time to get over me.

help pleeeeassseee????

Leah xx

admin

February 2, 2014 at 6:37 pm

If your connection together was that strong I doubt he would get over you in a month.

Jessica

January 31, 2014 at 11:47 am

Chris, thank you for your website!
I was wondering if you could give me some advice. I’ll try and be short.
My ex and I went on a serious relationship for just a couple of months then he dumped me. He was really investing on this relationship and I did it too but on my way (I am a bit defensive as I am always afraid to loose the people I love). Well we were having some arguments for some period of time and he dumped me and he was very irritated when he did, telling me he invested on the relationship and I was always defensive and the investment was for nothing while he was very very angry at me telling me all the things I have wrong.
I tried no contact and he sent me just one message asking how I was doing. After that I sent him a couple of messages justifying myself, telling that I was wrong, and he never answer. When we finally talked he told me we could meet and we could talk about it and we met. The casual meeting went well, I showed him I was improving in some things but when we started to talk about the things that happened between us he was still very angry talking about all the things i did and I have wrong, like he invested and he got very hurt, I gave him reason – that I have things wrong but those never did it intentionally, he told me he understood that but the talking was basically blaming myself for almost everything. We talked about that and other things and we shared what was going on in our lives.. I wonder what does it mean he being angry at me this way? Do you think this can mean he doesn’t want me back? I am confused. it’s been a week since we met. Thank you!
Natalie

January 31, 2014 at 8:25 am

Hi I’m in a very hard situation nearly 2 years ago my ex left me and our son to get back with his ex (who was his first love and ripped his heart out) and I was really gracious about the break up and didn’t get inbetween them I just let him get on with things, only contacted him wen absolutely needed to cus of our son! Well while with her they get into trouble and he is now in prison till July for something daft, she’s dumped him a year ago and pooped all over him basically. But the last few months he’s been getting in contact with me (he barely seen his son since he left cus she hated the fact he had a child so we have had no contact) and wants to reconnect with his son, which I’ll allow slowly for my sons sake as he’s only 3! I do still love him and I think he knows that, but I’m not sure how he feels, wen he calls it writes he’s asks once about our son but will have a half hour convo asking about me and stuff : yet he says he doesn’t want anything to do with woman anymore! What do I do? I think I’m being too nice and forth coming to him. I really want him back but I don’t think I’m much if a challenge as iv basically been alone since he left xxxxx

Please I need advice, it’s tearing me up xxxx
Rian

January 31, 2014 at 5:04 am

Chris,
My boyfriend and I broke up 3 weeks ago. He would text me first almost everyday and the most he has gone with out talking to me is 4 days. He broke up with me by the way and he didn’t really have a reason I think he is panicking about next year when we will been in different colleges that are only 45 min away. So I’m not sure if he doesn’t like me or if he has stressed out about it much he scared him self out of the relationship. I want a second chance at it but I feel like ignoring him would push him away because whenever he feels unwanted he pushes himself away. Now when he does text me it will be for a little bit and them he will just stop and usually text again the next day. I don’t know what that means? Also when I ran into him the last time I saw him he came and approached me and made conversation with me but then didn’t talk to me for a few days. I feel like I’m getting mixed signals when we broke up he made it clear he wanted me in his life so am I taking all this the wrong way or does he still like me? I don’t know what I should do or say to make him
Really want to be back with me. I feel like he is gradually pushing himself further from me.
mandy

January 29, 2014 at 7:53 pm

i dating this guy 4 months month 3 he changed and was giving me mixed signals and hes ego blew up started to get controlling ad acting like he owned me, i broke up with him we had a disagreement and then told me he was being thoughtful about what the concern was so then i asked if if he wanted to still go out ? because he didnt seem like it and he said idk and then texted no i dont and so i agreed and then he texted me again and said something about there are harsh feeling after people spilt up ive just hit my limits im sorry if that sounds low. and so i texted him and said it does. and i told him the next time he gets in a relationship he needs so act like he gives a damn because the girl wont know if you dont show her and tell her. and told him i cant be your friend. he wrote: ok i dont even know what to say to that now i guess im just to immature for a relationship. the next night i went out with my friends drank and i drunk texted my ex some crazy mean things after miss taking what my friend said i said i was sorry for texting him he didnt text me back at all and now im not worried about it but im not texting him now because i need space from him im standing by what i said i wanted to break up for those reasons im not textng him, does it sound like it might want me back after time? i dont know what to make of it because me and him ended really werid.

admin

January 30, 2014 at 5:52 pm

It is impossible to say.

However, I think if you play your cards right you can have a good opportunity to succeed.

M

January 29, 2014 at 11:24 am

Chris! Thanks for greatly detailed articles. It really put things into perspective for me.

My bf(now 24) and I(now 23) were in a serious 6 year relationship. He told me I was “the one” for years and even gave me a ring. We got into a relationship right after school and then went separate ways to college. We were together through thick and thin. This was my first relationship and it wasn’t the same for him, but he hadn’t been this close to anyone before(physically and emotionally). He told me loved me through and through. He was extremely sensitive and I was ambitious and not too openly emotional.

Our problems started when his conservative parents said they didn’t approve of our relationship but he said we would win them over when it was the right time. He started getting more and obsessed with me as the time passed and started ignoring his friends and he pushed everyone so far away that I was the only one he would speak to. I couldn’t do the same because even though I loved him I just wasn’t the more emotional one in the relationship. He started keeping tabs on me. I used to be a model so naturally I get a lot of male attention. It would boil his blood every time a guy would even try to talk to me. He would force me dress in a certain way. Even though I knew it all came from a good place, I started rebelling after a while. He would call me incessantly 200 times a day if I wouldn’t pick up. He would get jealous because he thought he wasn’t good-looking enough for me was always scared that I would find someone better even though he was the only person I had ever been with/kissed.

College got over and he moved back to our hometown and found a great job for which I am really proud.I moved somewhere else to start my business. Running a startup I couldn’t give him enough time or attention. He started drifting apart. I started turning into him. Now I became the one who wanted him more than anything. He realised that. When we met in december, he told me loved me and would always love me but he just couldn’t be with me because he thought I was too controlling. He just wants to have fun now. He thinks he missed out on a lot of fun in the last 6 years. I really love him and I know he loves me too. I just wanted a good balance of everything. He then finally told me to back off and never contact him again because he thinks talking to me is exhausting him. I really love him. I really want him back. The good times of the relationship were the best time of my life. I know no one can love me the way he loved me and vice versa. He thinks we are not a good match anymore.

After he broke up with me I went on a business trip and tried NC for 12 days before giving in. I hadn’t fully read or understood NC. When I gave in, I screwed it up really bad. I constantly called him, texted him, emailed him, begged him, made up lies to make him jealous, tried to be extra accommodating and basically did everything I shouldn’t have. He told me he would have reconsidered us if I hadnt turned into a psycho lately. He told me he didn’t love me anymore(I doubt it’s possible to stop loving the “love of your life” in a week). He even told me he dated me because he thinks I am “hot”, just to hurt me more. I am so much more than that.

Anyway, after reading a lot of articles and understanding NC, I have been in active NC since last 11 days. I have been working hard to get my business up and running. While he is constantly trying to get a reaction out of me through facebook. 11 days ago(before I started active NC) I changed my profile picture and he reacted by uploaded 3 albums(all with a bunch of girls he thinks I don’t like), his profile picture and his cover picture just to get a reaction out of me. So I unfollowed(not unfriend) him on fb so I don’t see anything he posts on my feed. I deleted his number from my phone so I won’t whatsapp him or even remember him. So far it’s been going smoothly(not 100% of the time though). I am actively trying to work hard and be happy and not be the emotional bitch.

I am worried that he is too stubborn and he is going to stick to his decision this time around. He may not look like a model(slightly overweight and super adorable) but he is definitely very charming and everyone loves to be around him. He is his nice charming self to everyone, but he would say really horrible things to me. He messages all my friends every now and then, but I told them(the close ones) not to tell me about him at all. If he doesn’t care about me at all like he says so, why is he constantly messaging my friends and liking their pictures on fb? He hasn’t said a word to me since I started active NC(Not even a fb like) 11 days ago.

I would be lying if I said I am not scared to lose him forever. I am trying to keep strong. It’s impossibly hard at times. He was my first everything. I have never been this close to anyone. He has never been this close to anyone. You think too much of love was the death of our relationship?

There are guys asking me out on a date at least twice a week. There is a line of guys waiting for me to break up with him, but I don’t feel like going on a date with anyone. It feels like I would lead other people on for no reason. I don’t need an ego boost. My ex hated having to handle this. I dont wanna upset him more. I feel like one of the reasons he left was because there were too many men trying to hit on me all the time.

I came across your blog today morning when I was feeling low and it really helped me feel more confident, so I decided I had to leave a comment. I haven’t spoken to anyone else about the details of my break up. It’s the first time I am opening up. My friends still think we are an item and keep telling me about how amazing my ex is and how much he spoils me. :/

I hate how the break up made me the more emotional one when I used to be the happy-go-lucky and level-headed. I am hoping for the best now. Once my business takes off and we are profitable(which should be soon), I will definitely buy your book(even if I don’t need it then), just because it made me feel confident and want to work again. At the moment, I don’t even have a credit card to pay for your book. Ah, the struggles of an entrepreneur!

It would be great if you could tell me what you think. 🙂 I am willing to do whatever it takes to get him back. I want to give it my best possible shot.

Thanks in advance. I wish you all the best with your business. I can see how it’s different from all other blogs. It is definitely going to go far.

ps: sorry for the long comment. I wanted to give you as much info as I could. I hope it all makes sense, I am not the best writer I know.

admin

January 29, 2014 at 7:01 pm

Ok, so you are in NC for 11 days. What are you doing during that time? Self improvement wise?
M

January 31, 2014 at 10:55 am

It has been 13 days of NC now. Not only is this extremely hard but it’s also completely out of my character. I haven’t heard a word from him.

What if he is doing an active NC too? :/
M

February 14, 2014 at 11:19 am

Update- 😀 😀

I did NC for 20 days. In those 20 days I concentrated only on myself and self improvement and everything else. On 21st day, It had my ex messaging me to which I didnt respond. 5 days later, my ex was calling me incessantly at 3 am, with 30-40 text messages. I still didnt respond and went on with my life. Few days after that he has been constantly messaging me about how much he loves me and misses me and how his friends are betting on how long our breakup would last because they think it’s BS. He is trying to show he is cool but hinting that we get back together.

Now I’m thinking if I *really* want to get back with him or not…

🙂 Thanks Chris for all your blogs and answers. No other blog like yours!
admin

February 14, 2014 at 6:53 pm

You are more than welcome!
M

January 30, 2014 at 3:59 am

Learning a new dance form and catching up with friends over the weekend. I also have travel plans for an upcoming extended weekend.
M

January 30, 2014 at 5:27 am

Not to mention I am taking lots of pictures and uploading on facebook while looking my best 😉
M

January 30, 2014 at 7:01 am

Actually 2 weeks ago before I started the NC, I had deleted him from facebook but 2 days later he guilt tripped me into adding him back. He sarcastically said he would use to keep tabs on me. I told him I didn’t care, he could do whatever he wanted.

Misty

January 28, 2014 at 3:54 am

Hi! So I need some help with my ex. We were an official couple for 1 year. But we were really together for a year. Anyways. I can’t really explain the whole relationship but he did say whilst we were official that he wanted to marry me and start a family and that he loved me. Every single day. Anyways. One day out of the blue he breaks up with me and tells me to move on. I told him I couldn’t and he asked me to try for him. Well the very next day I go to church and he is snogging my best friend. After that I completely cut off all ties to him and her. But recently, it’s been a
Month since this happened, he’s been trying to talk to me more and more, and whenever I see him. He is constantly depressed. I refuse to give in and speak a word to him because I will not break the NC rule. But everytime I’m in class or walking around on campus he’ll look at me and smile and try and start a conversation. The other day I saw him and his girlfriend (my now ex best friend) get into a fight. And the other day was a formal we had. And when one of my friends saw and screenshotted and then sent me the pics she (my ex’s girlfriend) posted of them from last night. He looks very sad. The pictures that they’ve taken together look very awkward and posed. Most of the time my ex isn’t even smiling. Anyways I’m just wondering if there’s a possible chance he wants me back??
Nicole

January 27, 2014 at 5:44 pm

Hey Chris! This website is great! You give great advice for how to get your ex boyfriend back, do you have any advice for mending a relationship that is failing but not yet broken up?

admin

January 27, 2014 at 7:22 pm

Yes!

COMMUNICATION!

Hahaha simple but super effective.

Elin

January 27, 2014 at 9:14 am

Hey, I’ve recently just broke up with my boyfriend of 3 months (which was totally out of the blue). He has told me the reason that he broke up with me was because he wants to be single for a while, as he has spent a lot of his time in relationships & he wants to try being single for a while, but he says there is a high chance of us getting back together, which I don’t understand why he broke up with me in the first place? He tells me he still loves me & he still wants to be intimate with me, what does this mean? And as we both are in the same university, he gets angry when he sees me even talking to a guy & starts talking to them as well? Please help me understand what he is thinking and do you think we will ever get back together? Thank you
nanabelle

January 27, 2014 at 7:56 am

My ex is acting out his emotion. He pushed me away, ignored me twice and I stopped talking to him. After 2weeks he whatsapped me asking me for his book that i had. we met to give it to him, he was all friendly and even made jokes. i was a bit distant and didn’t allow him to get closer. the next day i told him i wanna give him his tshirt back (that he had gave me). he was sad and couldn’t understand y i was returning it. i told him bcoz he has moved on i wanna do the same, that i’m only respecting his wishes. i tried confirming that by asking if i had things totally wrong in my mind or what…he never replied. We haven’t spoken for 3 days…what does that mean?

admin

January 27, 2014 at 7:20 pm

3 days.. are you planning on doing a NC?
nanabelle

January 27, 2014 at 8:05 am

now he has a stressed out looking cartoon as his profile pic on whatsapp and a very sad and hurt emoticon as his status. help me out here quickly please

Marissa

January 27, 2014 at 1:46 am

My ex and i were friends in high school then started dating. We were together for 4 years and broke up a few times because i was unsure of my feelings towards him. I knew i loved him but wanted to know what else is out there. We always got back together and worked things out. I thought everything was going great between us until he told me two months ago that he knows he loves me but dont know if hes in love with me anymore. I broke up with him right away because i was very upset. I texted him and he spoke to me but never contacted me again. I texted him for new years and he responded. Then we had a big snow storm and he texted me saying becaureful out there. Tonight i texted him telling him that i understand how he felt and we are young and we need to grow on out own. And i dont want to be enemies and i wish him all the best. He responded saying he he feels the same way. It has been two months since we broke up. I love him and i want him back. But i dont know if there is a chance in the future for us. Did anyone ever experience something like this? Thanks for uour advice.
Jenny

January 26, 2014 at 5:51 am

My ex initiated contact after a week NC – sent me a FB message “hope you are well”. Liked a bunch of stuff on my page. Sudden flurry of activity after weeks of nothing.

I didn’t reply. A couple of hours later, I saw he deleted me as a friend on FB and my friends. But he still has my pictures up (he deleted the pictures of the two of us together over 2 weeks ago when we broke up).

At the end of the day I finally sent a message “If you want to talk to me, call me. Not FB. Thank you.”

Was that a mistake? Is this all good and he wants me back? Feels a bit weird to be good progress…
sarcs

January 25, 2014 at 3:56 am

Hey Chris,
My story is slightly sick and twisted..
We met a a year and a half ago and it was .. somewhat love at first sight. He’s on his middle 30’s, Im on my late 20’s, but it was the first time I felt like that.
Not even two weeks after he was telling me he loved me, that I was the one.
He was making songs about me, the whole thing.
.. but even then he said he wasnt ready for a “girlfriend” because he was looking for a “wife”, and had to be sure about it. (even tho he told me he loved me and I was the one, he wasnt sure he wanted a “gf/bf” thing).

I’m a good looking woman, so when I exchanged jobs (only 2 months after we started to date) he got mad I was working with so many people around me (it’s a big office). I’d meet many men, etc (he was and is the incredibly jealous type, explained why on the PS part). I told him I just couldnt not go, so we kind of split. Thing is.. we always kept contact.. at least every other week we’d text eachother, short texts, the sort of “how are you” etc. Everytime I’d mention anything emotional, he would say “Not this conversation again please”.
A few months later I met another guy and we dated for 6 months. He was amazing, but I just.. couldnt get myself to feel any passion for him. All the while me and the ex still texted eachother, either small casual texts, or emotional raging ones (Cant do this anymore / I miss you / Not this again, on and off).
The day I broke up with the amazing guy, like a telepath my ex asked to meet me.

We talked (small talk), watched a movie, slept together. But it was.. mechanical. I was trying not to feel it and I guess he was doing the same.

Anyway, thing is.. for the past.. 6 or 7 months we’ve been together at least once or twice a month. Always with that somewhat mechanical feelings to it.
I’d be too scared to say anything to screw it up and he would put a hardened face on and barely talk.
We’d barely even touch eachother.
Still, we met once or twice a month, usually by my insistence (and no, it cant be a sexual thing since half the times we just did casual things together and actual sleep together, at this point, always in separate sides of the bed, not touching).

I’ve spoken to him hundreds of times about it, I’ve cried saying I cant do this anymore, that it’s killing me. I told him a hundred times I was done.. And then I’d text him or he’d text me, and there we’d go back to the same thing.

I had my birthday on December 1st and he texted me happy birthday days after, with a lot of apologies.
I was mad, I was pissed, I was .. so angry I told him “thanks” two days later and that was it for me.
So he texted me again couple of days later, and I gave in. We spoke like nothing happened, back to the same thing.

So here’s when it starts to get a little different..
(after almost a year of our “breakup”)

We spent christmas night together, all our chemistry was somewhat back, for the first time after all these months, even tho we still didnt talk much and he kept his hardened expression on, he hugged me while we slept.
And by new years eve I asked him if he could come pick me up.
He couldnt, ofc.

So this time with full confidence I told him I had only one new years resolution. To get this horror story done. I couldnt take it anymore, I lost 8kg (not sure how many pounds, around 20 I think), I was sleeping horribly, I wasnt eating, I was crying every other night, and after so many months of this, I was done.
He texted me something along the lines:
“I’m sorry about all of this. I meant and felt all I ever said to you. I wish you’re happy.”

I took the NC rule for 11 days.
I was actually feeling better. Wasnt praying for a text or a call anymore and I wasnt happy, but I wasnt extremely sad either.

And by day 12 I texted him “My will power when it comes to you is ridiculously low. I like you what can I say” and he replied “Im done. Thats it. This is going on for way too long. Enough is enough.”
I told him “You’re right. I’ll work on my will power from now on.”

… And on the 8th day after that, he texted me “How are you?”.
… and I replied, casually. And we exchanged texts, small talk, funny texts, for over two hours back and forth.
He came to pick me up, kissed me as soon as I got in the car (he didnt do this since the beginning of it all) and even held my hand whenever he didnt need it to drive (THIS didnt happen since we first met).
We actually made love, not sex, love.
We laughed and talked the whole time like nothing happened.
He drove me to my parents home the next day (we both have sunday lunches with respective family), still holding hands like teenagers, and we said goodbye with several kisses.
.. And I promised myself this time I wouldnt be the first to text.

So he texted me the same day, about his lunch with his parents, small talk.

I texted him the next day, he replied, short texts.
I texted him again the day after, he replied, again short texts, small talk, couple of jokes as well.

I didnt text him last wednesday, he didnt text me
either. (He works 16h a day on week days, so I use that as an excuse for it to myself)..

Texted him again today, small talk, friendly, short messages.

But now I find myself in the same crossroad as usual.
If I stop talking to him, remember I did that before, I know he will just get mad at the whole thing repeating itself yet again and this time I think we would both be done with it for good.
So I’m trying to keep the casual friendly talk, on a daily basis, to prove that we can keep a somewhat decent pattern without any of us freaking out and screwing it up.
But the casual friendly thing makes me afraid he will eventually turn me into another of his friends..

Tomorrow is saturday, it’s our “day”, since we usually meet on saturdays..
And I’m scared to text him to do something and be turned down, but I know if I don’t he wont either.

PS – For you to understand a bit of his background and why I’ve been putting up with so much, he dated the same woman for 10 years, who then married his best friend after a month of their break up.
Later he dated another woman for four years, and when she moved out she moved in with another guy the same day.
He has his issues.. with some reason.
I told him once I’d always stick by his side, and those are the words I remember when I try to break apart..

But then again.. Always a week or so after I dont contact him, he contacts me.

I don’t know what he wants.. I don’t know what I should do.. I’m just so freaking lost for so long.. I can’t understand his mixed signals anymore, so please, for the love of god, buddah, cats and everything else, give me a second opinion.

PSS – My god I just noticed how big this post is, I’m sorry ;s

admin

January 27, 2014 at 6:45 pm

Forget him for a while.

I think in order to get him back YOU have to get in the right frame of mind before anything and you are obviously not there yet.
sarcs

January 25, 2014 at 4:24 am

Oh crap, believe it or not I forgot to mention another “symptom”.

Whenever we fight/are apart/mad at eachother, he instantly blocks me on facebook so he “doesn’t see all the men commenting on my things” (.. any small comment will instantly piss him off btw.)

He unblocked me tuesday, still is.

Natalie

January 23, 2014 at 7:40 pm

Hi I’m in a very hard situation 🙁 nearly 2 years ago my ex left me and our son to get back with his ex (who was his first love and ripped his heart out) and I was really gracious about the break up and didn’t get inbetween them I just let him get on with things, only contacted him wen absolutely needed to cus of our son! Well while with her they get into trouble and he is now in prison till July for something daft, she’s dumped him a year ago and pooped all over him basically. But the last few months he’s been getting in contact with me (he barely seen his son since he left cus she hated the fact he had a child so we have had no contact) and wants to reconnect with his son, which I’ll allow slowly for my sons sake as he’s only 3! I do still love him and I think he knows that, but I’m not sure how he feels, wen he calls it writes he’s asks once about our son but will have a half hour convo asking about me and stuff : yet he says he doesn’t want anything to do with woman anymore! What do I do? I think I’m being too nice and forth coming to him. I really want him back but I don’t think I’m much if a challenge as iv basically been alone since he left xxxxx
Kaylee

January 23, 2014 at 4:00 pm

Hi chris,
I am doing no contact for the 2nd time. I broke it the first time and now I started over and am on day 6. My ex and I have a mutual friend. This friend was at his house he other day and said my ex was talking crap about me to our friend. Why would he being saying thins like that and how is he feelin? Do I have a chance at getting himback even though he’s doing this? It hurts so bad

admin

January 24, 2014 at 5:12 am

How long did you last the first time?
Kaylee

January 24, 2014 at 3:47 pm

12 days

Mich

January 23, 2014 at 7:00 am

Hi Chris,

I came across your website and it’s awesome. So anyways my fiance broke up with me last week and he said it was too late for me to beg because he can’t force himself to love me. He said i didn’t appreciate whatever i’ve done to him and blames me for every single mistake i made. Few days later he made friends with a girl on twitter and started a rebound relationship. They were flirting like crazy in the timeline,and people noticed something odd. I’m just gonna keep quiet and lay low and i wanna try the NC rule. Wish me luck.

admin

January 24, 2014 at 5:00 am

Are you going to do NC? I think you should.
Mich

January 24, 2014 at 7:23 am

I started yesterday after i came across your website. Hope this works. I really don’t know what is his motive showing ppl that he is flirting with his rebound in public because my friends follow both of us on twitter. I guess he just wants to provoke me. I hope i don’t break the NC *fingers crossed*
Mich

January 24, 2014 at 7:27 am

And i wanna know what should i do if he comes to my house or my office during NC? Should i hide or just ignore him?

Nhi Le

January 22, 2014 at 3:12 pm

Hi Chris,
Me and my ex was in a long distance relationship,We have date for 6 months and since he said he ‘need sometimes away from me’,because i do to much of my part in the relationship and kind scare him off and he start to withdraw and because of that i begin to call too much and make a fuss out of everything so he said he fed up with me, he can’t take it anymore, he sound a bit angry and a bit hateful , since then i have applied the no-contact on him and it nearly 3 weeks now, but there is no text or any sign from him, even his facebook. Does it mean that he have totally forget me, like he don’t care if i disappear? Are all the memories mean nothing to him? Is there any chance that he miss me Chris?
sarah

January 22, 2014 at 12:39 pm

I could really use some advice. My boyfriend and I were together nearly 10 yrs. Just before he broke up with me my brother had died a few months beforehand. After we broke up he knew I still wanted to be with him and we carried on sleeping together. However, I felt he had met someone else. He said he hadnt. One day at my house I saw a small lovebite on his neck (he denied it) so I looked in his fone when he went to the toilet and saw a message from his boss talking about how she knows she needs to sort herself out and how he is her soulmate.

I did not say anything. A few weeks later he came with me and my family to the grave as it was the yr anniversary of his death. Afterwards I confronted him and he only aknowledged anything after I said I had read the message. He said he thinks he can love her and that she is the opposite to me. He wants to be friends and cannot say whether we will get bk together but loves me very much. He started telling me about her life (mother who was a drug addict, etc) He then got me a tablet for christmas. Between christmas and new year we then had a major row where I was crying and was just so upset. He got mad and was shouting at me saying i’m pushing him away and I knew the deal when we slept together (which I really didnt!)

I then had NC for just over 3 weeks and my phone contract had ended so he had no means of contacting me. I then emailed him:

Hey,

Just wanted to see how your doing.. howz the job,etc

Hope all is well

He replied:

Hi,

i’m good thanks, hope you’re ok, was thinking about your driving test couldn’t remember the date? wanted to send out a good luck if you haven’t done it yet, and if you have i really hope you passed!!

Have you sorted your mobile yet? feels a bit weird doing email.

Anyway, really hope both you and dana are ok (my mum), send me your no if you do have a phone sorted.

I then replied just keeping it light, not mentioning anythink to do with us. The only reference I made was that I think it best to communicate through email as Its better for me at the min. He hasnt replied.

From here i dont know what to do. I believe he started to see her before the end of our relationship (as apparently she said to him ‘did you break up with her bcause of me) and then strung both of us along for a yr before choosing her. However he still wants to be friends.

I dont know whether hes helping his guilt, he still has feelings, etc??? but I know how long we were together and how close we were for so long I dont understand how he can already be in a committed relationship talking about love.

Any advice would be appreciated.

admin

January 22, 2014 at 6:16 pm

He strung two girls along at once… I don’t know he seems like a bit of a jerk to me.

flowerbed

January 20, 2014 at 10:20 am

Hi,

Thank you so much for your website. I just found it today and have been spending some time reading it.

I did NC with my ex boyfriend.. This has gone since the beginning of the year. In between about a week ago I broke the NC rule. It is because he was violent with me throughout our 3 year relationship and I had to go to the hospital as well as counselling. I broke the NC rule to diss at him and also to curse him. It was the normal curse of profanities but 2 hours later he broke his leg from a basketball match and is off work for almost a month from it. I know maybe it is Karma but I feel bad that he is in pain.

I have been tempted to msg him to ask him how he is doing. But i did not. He inflicted pain on me from slapping, kicking, throwing me and striking at the back of my neck.

I want to move on but it is really hard after all that has been happening. I hope you can advise me.

Many thanks.

admin

January 20, 2014 at 7:44 pm

Question.

Do you want to move on or do you want him back.

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