Exactly How To Use Text Messages To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

2,742 thoughts on “How To Use Text Messages To Get Your Ex Back”

Melissa

March 19, 2015 at 2:19 am

Also, i am going to try the nc, but my birthday is in a week. If he texts or calls, do i answer or ignore?

admin

March 21, 2015 at 3:41 pm

Ignore.

Trista

March 19, 2015 at 1:46 am

My boyfriend and i broke up on the 15th of this month and it’s really hard he started doing drugs and now I don’t know what to do so far we talked like everyday, but nothing changes all he says that it’s not gonna work out he is sorry.. I know I hurt him really bad and i realize it now, but I honestly think it’s to late. He tells me everyday that I hurt him really bad and it makes me feel completely horrible. I just don’t know what to do anymore how do I help him with his drug problem now. I want to get back with him and i know i messed up and i told him sorry a hundred times i really want it to work with him. He texts me first and than he wont text me for awhile? what does that mean does he still love and care about me? Im so confused.

admin

March 21, 2015 at 3:40 pm

I would try to get him professional help.

Melissa

March 19, 2015 at 1:38 am

Hi admin,

My boyfriend and I were together for 4 1/2 years. Unfortunately things ended when our lease ended, he was not very faithful and was always speaking to other females. He completely broke my heart because we were best friends, and as dumb as it sounds, i still love him. We left on good terms, hugged and kissed. He told me he doesnt think its the end..but ive been the one who has been texting the last 3 days. He tells me i assume too much & I’m immature for that. But i have every reason to assume the worst! He has done the worst! Do you have any advice on how i should realize this is for the best and if he didn’t change for the better in 4 yeats, he probably never will?

admin

March 21, 2015 at 3:34 pm

Please call me Chris!

Well, do you want him back or do you want to get ove rhim?
Melissa

March 23, 2015 at 1:50 am

A little of both, i would want him back if he’d change. I love him very much!

Melissa

March 18, 2015 at 2:19 pm

My boyfriend of a yeah broke up with me Sunday as he was having problems in our relationship. He told me he would call me in a week. Is there any chance I can convince him we should try again and face our problems head on
Aura

March 18, 2015 at 4:47 am

I hope someone can help me heal!
I am in so much pain right now…. I am sorry for this long story. 3 nights ago I sat down and cried my soul out and wrote all this.

She met him when she was so weak…
She saw him often but never really noticed him. Too afraid to look at him, too hurt to hope that he will understand her, see the woman inside her.
She was unhappy, lonely and perhaps without even knowing, looking for love to fill her with life again.

A note was posted on the buletin board and hesitant, she made the phone call….
He was looking for a roommate, she was looking for a place to call home, where she could put her weary head to rest in peace, a place to call home for a while…

He came into the office and they talked a little. His smile, filled up a room with light. She could barely contain herself, she finally could talk to the guy with a beautiful smile.
He promised he’d show her the place. She was scared, and since she didn’t knew this man, she asked him if she’ll be safe if she comes with him. He smiled and said yes.

She worked long hours and rode the bus, sometimes waiting for endless minutes in the freezing cold.
She was strong, she had a purpose. To rebuild herself, her family, her home, and be happy…

She’d come to work and often hoping she’d see the guy with the beautiful smile… He wouldn’t show for days. All she could think off was… the guy with the beautiful smile…

One night as she was waiting for the bus, she’s sees him driving by and her heart skipped a beat, it was him! She prayed that he will see her.
He saw her too and stopped and asked if she needs a ride… She (secretly had a crush on him) said yes.

A Saturday night…. Cold freezing night and she was happy she could be closer to him, maybe talk a little, find out who he is… Get to know the guy that made her heart feel warm again…
They talked for a bit and she was scared, soon they will arrive at her house and she might not see him again for a long time.
She clenched her purse to her chest and asked: “Would you come out with us? I am going out with my friends tonight”….
He replied: “no, I cant, I have to work but maybe in two weeks I can take you out”.

A little disappointed but happy that she saw him, she agreed and they exchangd phone numbers. He told her: “Call me if you need me to pick you up later”

She didn’t really wanted to go out, she wanted to be with the guy with the beautiful smile.

Later that night, she had a little bit too much “fun” and texted the guy with the beautiful smile.
He came and picked her up, and like a gentlemen he dropped her off at her house.
He kissed her lightly on the lips and said good night.

She went upstairs and couldn’t stop thinking: “oh my god, he kissed me. Why? Did I say something, what just happened?”
Cold, a little bit too cold to be alone in here tonight, she thought.
She texted the guy with the beautiful smile and asked if he’d want to spend some time together. Maybe go grab some food….

He came and she was happy to see him again.
She felt alive and full of hope. She liked him so.
She longed to touch his lips again, to hold him close.

He asked if she’d like to go to his place. She said yes thinking, “I could use some company tonight, I want to be kissed all night, I want you to hold me close and never let go” she thought.

The guy with the beautiful smile, he was skilled, he knew that she was fragile, vulnerable and lonely and made her feel at ease, hugged her, kissed her, made love to her and held her aching body the entire night.
He kissed her body, inch by inch, and touched her in ways that no one had ever touched her. She screamed in agony, from pleasure, in pain… The man had touched her soul. He was so soft, he was incredible. She felt happy, loved again. Her night was filled with hope, a new beginning, maybe.

Cold rays of sunshine came through the blinds, a freezing Sunday morning…
She quietly looked around the room. The guy with the beautiful smile was sleeping peacefully next to her… She watched him sleep and careful not to wake him up…
Ashamed she dressed in a hurry, locked the door behind her and left the warm embrace of the guy with the beautiful smile.

She made a mistake, she’d gone home with the guy with the beautiful smile and now she needs to run. Run and hide. Hopefully he won’t find her. She won’t have to admit she’d crossed a line. He won’t think she’s a slut.

He texted her later that afternoon and asked: “why did you fuck me?”
She had no reply… She felt ashamed and lonely again. “Why did I fuck you?” she wondered.
“Because I wanted to have some fun, she wanted to say”… She just wasn’t the type to have this kind of fun.

They met later for diner, Chinese, he picked.
They talked and he made her feel weak again.
He said to her: “couldn’t you have left a note?”
She cried, she was ashamed, humble and she felt pain again. “Why would he talk to me like this, she wondered? He has no right to judge me like this”
It was to late already or too soon for her to judge the guy with a beautiful smile? She didn’t knew.

They often meet and go for diner, talk and trying to discover each other… He seemed difficult, she was simple and yet, so complicated.
She needed nothing more than someone to tell her she is going to be fine, someone to hold her to feel safe and loved.

One night, he brought up the question “what are we doing, what kind of relationship is this, are we fuck buddies, are we dating, what is this, let’s put a name on it, he says”

Secretly, she was happy, he wasn’t looking for a one night stand. “Could this be one of the good guys, she thought to herself?”
They agreed to call it “date”.
They’d date for 3 months to see how things go and at the end of these 3 months, they would meet somewhere, have diner and see if the relationship should be renewed.

“Stupid, stupid idea she thought”
“Why can’t we just be, no plan, no tomorrow, just us, in our own world”
“I don’t do plans, I can’t keep up with a plan”!
But she liked him a lot and she was willing to try.

She hadn’t dated in a longtime and as far as she knew, he was a player. He knew how to play the “field”. He knew what he was doing. She felt special, she was his, he was hers. Something changed inside her.
She had a purpose. She wanted to take care of him, love him, spoil him and never let go of his hand.

He worked a lot, she worked a lot.
One night he told her: “I wish we were teenagers, no worries no nothing”
She told him, this is better, for we are adults and it should be easier to make things work and the adults know better. They know how to make a relationship work.

Sleepless nights between work hours, they’d meet and drive around, talking, laughing and making plans.
She enjoyed him, his mind, his company, she wanted to change herself, to better herself and let the past go, never look back, keep moving forward. She was damaged, maybe too damaged, for the guy with a beautiful smile. Too damaged for him to be patient with her.

They’d meet on Saturdays without fail and spend the entire night together making love, talking, drinking wine… She was happy, satisfied, at peace. She liked the guy with a beautiful smile and he liked her too.
She had a purpose, she felt whole again. She cared.

He was strong willed, very stubborn with a beautiful mind. He loved politics, economics and had an insatiable thirst for learning, becoming rich and powerful. He wanted to do great things, great things for his country. She admired him a lot. She loved his passion.
She needed no money for she had him on her side.
As long as she could hold his hand, she knew she was strong. Strong enough to go on. Strong enough to take on anything that might stand in her way.

They often had misunderstandings.
Two different cultures, two different personalities. Not much in common, she thought, sometimes.
The language barrier often created issues and situations that left both of them in a terrible state of mind.
She didn’t share his political views nor liked to talk about politics. “(He called her ignorant)”
She was willing to learn and loved to listen to him talk so passionately about what he loved.
He mesmerized her with his words, the passion that he had for helping people back home.

He often held her, sang to her or told her beautiful stories. She loved every second spent with him, cherished every heart beat and slowly let her guard down.
She became stronger and as her affection for the guy with a beautiful smile grew into love.
She loved him unconditionally and wanted to give him the best in her. She needed to be strong. For her, for him. Be better, be nicer and pay more attention to the guy with a beautiful smile.
She loved cooking for him, and doing his laundry made her happy, she did things with love and care for her man. It made her smile when she looked around and thinking he would love to see I did this for him, it would make him happy.
She became part of his world and shared a space together.
It wasn’t just her anymore, it was the two of them. They became us.
A bit scared still hesitant she stepped into this new relationship.
Open heart, lots to give and stronger than ever she felt next to her man.

She was happy to see him, to hear his voice echoing even after he was not around. She often told him, “I miss you” and the guy with a beautiful smile would say: “I miss you already as he walked out the door”

She was hungry for him, thirsted for his lips, aching for his touch.
She missed him terribly when he was gone. She missed his kisses, his smile. She needed the guy with the big heart and a beautiful smile.
He’d given her lots of amazing nights. Lots of laughter and strength.
He’d shown her she’s a woman, made her feel alive and powerful.

They’d often have misunderstandings and she felt insulted, hurt and pushed away. He felt the same and told her she is selfish and she only thinks of her.
He blamed her for not being supportive, for not listening. She panicked and didn’t knew what to do or say. It was hard for her to admit she failed to notice that it’s not just her, it’s the two of them now.
Her past had once again, snuck up on her and got ahold of her emotions, her fears.
“That’s not what I meant”
“Never had the courage to stand by my mistakes and admit I am wrong” She wanted to say, but she was afraid that would make her man think she is all flawed.
An apology would have been fine.
They never talked things through.
Both hurt, not acting like adults.
She would run away then run back to him, giving him space and time.
He would completely stop texting or calling…
She was hurt and waited for him to come back to her. She spent her nights in agony, blaming herself for all the wrong she did to him… He was hurt and awaiting for an apology. She didn’t knew her man was hurt. Her man didn’t express his feeling much.

As nights went by she felt lonely, she needed him to sleep beside her, to hold her in his arms to make her feel loved, to make her feel strong again. Has the guy with the beautiful smile forgotten her, can he forgive her for being weak? Can he still miss her?

Time passed, they’d patch things up and for her, it was all forgotten. For him, the negativity, the doubt, was still floating around. He wasn’t able to move on as quick as she did. She’d unintentionally hurt the guy with the beautiful smile. She knew.
She never understood why he’d hold on to the bad things and he wouldn’t see the beautiful moments they had.
With every disagreement they had, she understood him more. And with every disagreement they had, he kept stepping back. Away from her. Stepping back slowly from her life. It was too late for her. She now understands and he’s nowhere in her sight. She can’t tell him how much she cares for him. She can’t make things right.

In her mind he was wrong for her, she saw no future for them.
She blamed him for not being there, she blamed him for not being affectionate, she blamed him and never once thinking how he felt. In anger, in frustration, she was blinded and thought the guy with a beautiful smile is just like the others.
She was lonely and tired of waiting for him. She was unsure on how he felt for her. She wanted to know that she is wanted, needed and cared for.
She knew she was wrong, and yet, she did not see things from his perspective. She was blinded by her past and thought to herself: “I will be ok without you”
She hit rock bottom and ran away. Again.
She left his house where she was whole, happy and her man slept next to her. She handed him the keys and she told herself “I am no longer waiting for you to come back to me, I am no longer here for you when you need me” God knows she was wrong.

She spends her days and nights wondering how the guy with the beautiful smile is, is he is ok, does he miss her…

The guy with a beautiful smile, is out there somewhere, perhaps not even thinking of her, perhaps he is. Perhaps he is hurt just as the girl with the long black hair. She wouldn’t know, she pushed him away. He stopped texting her again and never picks up the phone.
She misses him madly and she’s so in love with him.
Has she lost him forever?! … The guy with a beautiful smile and a big heart is out there and I’ll find him again someday!

admin

March 21, 2015 at 2:58 pm

The only problem that I have with this is it seems a little weepy and sad… We need to be upbeat and positive.

Also, I am not a fan of sending these types of long messages to an ex.

Dan

March 16, 2015 at 11:44 am

Hi I’m meeting up with an ex later to give him back his things that he left at mine. We broke up nearly three weeks ago and it’s been a really horrible break up with . He says that he’s done and doesn’t want to be in a relationship anymore but I think that it’s because he’s hurting, I still want to be with him more than anything but he seems pretty adamant. What do I do? I don’t really feel ready to see him yet and I’m worried he’s going to see my giving his stuff back as me moving on.

admin

March 18, 2015 at 7:14 pm

No giving stuff back is a common breakup protocol.

Your thinking too much about where you are and not enough about where your going to be (back in his arms down the road.)

Gabi S

March 16, 2015 at 6:55 am

Me and my boyfriend broke up 5 days ago i have messaged him everyday but yesterday is it to late to start the no contact rule. would he still come back if he said he was unhappy, because a week before we broke up he told me he was happy no matter what we went through and he really wanted this relationship to work. but now hes saying he realizes its not going to.

admin

March 18, 2015 at 7:03 pm

Its not too late but if you are going to do NC you can’t message him anymore.

Eve

March 15, 2015 at 7:34 pm

Hey Chris! How are you? Hope everything’s fine.
Can you please help me with something:

How long should i wait to contact my ex boyfriend to send him the second message of the “getting my ex boyfriend back”?

I sent him the first one… of the confession. And i got a positive answer from him

Please tell me how long should i wait now until i send the second one.

Thank you.

admin

March 18, 2015 at 6:39 pm

1 to 2 days is ideal I would say.

So so sorry for the late response.

Louise

March 14, 2015 at 4:40 pm

my boyfriend and I broke up last February because I gave him an ultimatum when he said he wanted “more” space. Sooner or later, I calmed down from our argument and said I still liked him. I wanted to not talk for 2 weeks then see each other then to figure things out. I reached out after two weeks to propose a date. He would say yes then would keep on postponing or not texting. The last time I sent him a text, it was a week after he postponed, I asked if we could talk in person, I’d like to know where we’re at, I hope things are going well with him, and I’d like to apologize about what I did. He said he’ll try to meet that weekend and I said let me know. And he never texted me that weekend. I just gave up. but i did send him a text 3 days after my last text telling him that i hope his fine and that his favorite dj was in town. I wasn’t hoping for a response or anything.

What should I do after? Just nothing and sit back? Wait for him to text? I haven’t texted him since then. Will he ever want to meet me at some point? Or is it already a loss cause?

admin

March 15, 2015 at 4:52 pm

No, after the nc rule you go on the attack and text.

I want you to control things as much as possible.

Angel

March 12, 2015 at 2:47 am

Hey? My ex bf broke up w/ me after about a month because i askd him if he actually wanted2 be with me and he said no!’:( BUMMER!! I asked him that question because he started ignoring me and whatnot. Anyways we go 2 the same school and i see him everyday! Sometimes he tries and make eye contact but i dont bother! He messaged me on social media on Monday but i barely responded like today! It was awkward! I didnt know that we had 2 make NC until awhile ago!!?? So if i miss him then what shuld i do??

admin

March 13, 2015 at 7:56 pm

If you are in NC then you stick to it. Simple as that.

rachel

March 11, 2015 at 9:20 pm

Hi, it’s me again. Today I sent a little text to the aforementioned ex in regards to a game we both enjoyed playing. I mentioned that I played it last night and that the time we played was too funny! He replied immediately and positively saying he enjoyed playing that a lot. After a bit I just politely said “Yeah, me too!” and he sent a smiley. I feel better about the situation than I did before, but hopefully I won’t be just a friend forever in his book. I’m dubious about any further contact, just because I wasn’t the one to do the breaking up and I want to seem as happy as possible. Opinions?

admin

March 13, 2015 at 7:40 pm

I think I am going to redo the text messages post.
rachel

March 13, 2015 at 7:48 pm

I can’t really pull on his heartstrings because most of the things we did were at his house on his terms. We were seeing each other for three months and he called me his but only on one occasion. Rehashing the past, even if it was a positive memory, may lead him to think I’m obsessed or just lonesome. I feel comfortable enough, knowing this person for three years to ask him to hang out and catch up. I don’t know what else to do. I’m hanging in there and haven’t texted him since I sent that message two days ago.

Zaria

March 10, 2015 at 9:47 pm

Uhmm hi nice people, I’m here because I share the same problem as you guys. Well something like that.. I’m a high school student and so is my EX boyfriend.. He’s my “God brother” nothing major, besides we’ve know each other for all our lives.. We were talkin for 6 months before the question was asked(he asked)… Well time passes and we where like in the 2nd month and I found out that he had asked another girl for nudes.. And it hurt my self- esteem cause the girl was fairly bigger than me and she wasn’t cute.. But I stayed with him I forgave but it took me about two months to get over it.. So more time went to on we were doing really good until I realized he doesn’t appreciate me.. I went all out to learn about his favorite sport so I could be the best supporter he could ever ask for.. He didn’t notice.. And when I wanted him to support me he always found an excuse.. But out of everything we been through he was everything I wanted I guess I didn’t notice until it happend.. But feb.26 he pulled the plug on us.. And we had only 3 more days till our 7 month aniversy (it’s the 29th but February doesn’t have a 29th) we’ve never done oral, or even sex.. We where good kids I knew his whole family like no other girl could.. I loved him so much that I had to go the doctor because the break up made me feel so bad.. They said that stress had caused ulcers to build up in my stomach.. After we broke up I didn’t cry much.. I only cried about 2 mins.. (It’s only been a week & 5 days) two days after we broke up.. He texted me and he said “he just can’t stand not talking to me can we be friends” and I said yes and it’s like we’ve gotten so much closer,but on here you guys are telling me not to talk to him if I want him back.. And it’s really confusing I’ve prayed and prayed… I just need to know whether I should keep talking to him or should I stop please help.. Thanks for reading
Anonymous

March 9, 2015 at 3:18 am

Hey Chris —

Hope you are well! I just sent you an email updating that the NC rule worked! There are lots of details in there but yah, this is a LDR and I was blocked out of anger. Double whammy.

Today is Day 20 and he broke! He msged me something simple “It’s been a while, just wanted to say hi.. how are things?” I am going to assume that you’d want me to wait out the remaining 10 days.

Plus, I’m not prepared to answer. I don’t exactly have a plan (because I’ve been reading up on NC and trying to stay strong all this time) but I bought your e-book, listened to your podcasts, and am re-reading all your articles!

Any additional help or encouragement is greatly appreciated — thanks!!

admin

March 13, 2015 at 3:52 pm

Yes, wait out the remaining days.

I think the perfect idea for you is to prepare a smart icebreaker via text.
Anonymous

March 10, 2015 at 1:08 am

Day 21: He sent an email saying hi. Here’s the meat: “You’ve been popping up a lot in my head the past few days. I hope you were well and have been able to move on with someone else”.

Not answering. Interested to see if he will reach out again with something more meaningful.

Vanessa gallego

March 9, 2015 at 12:43 am

Hi chirs !!I want your oppinion on something in Augest 7 a day before me leaving to Colombia for my vacation I got a message from this guy name Leonardo Gallego and he has the same last name as me in facebook.So we started talking and I started liking him then some after he asked me out .I felt in love with him meanwhile my mom called me and she started telling me what is this guy name Leonardo it shows that you in him are in a relashipship I lied to her telling her that he camed to my elementary school which is not even true he lives in Venezulea.After coming back from Colombia I broke up with him all because of my mom she told me that he was a bad influence which is not true .I want him back but there is one problem he is dating this girl.He messged me telling me that he had a dream about me and he wants to be friends .I want to go back with him I don’t know want to do .

admin

March 13, 2015 at 3:48 pm

I recommend reading this,

https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/how-to-get-your-ex-boyfriend-back-if-he-has-a-girlfriend-version-2-0/

rachel

March 6, 2015 at 12:58 am

Hi Chris. I apologize for the length of this situation, but it’s a long story. I’ve known this guy for several years. He was my first love and we saw each other when I was younger for about six months and then quit seeing each other because he met someone older. In between then and now we’ve exchanged sentimental texts with one another but it always left me feeling sad because we never really reunited. Obviously, as time wore on, I met and went out with many nice people and had a long term relationship of nearly two years that didn’t end up working out, and I sort of forgot about him! However, last fall, we bumped into one another unexpectedly and it was really nice. We smiled and chatted but I didn’t jump in his arms, though he was staring at me like he wanted us to be alone in the room. After I left the event, he contacted me and invited me over. I didn’t go because I just wasn’t sure it was in my best interest, but I agreed to hang out with him and do something simple like watch a movie. Pretty soon, he came over to my house for the first time in three years to catch up and talk about things. He explained that he wanted to be good to me and make up for lost time while maybe building a new relationship. We moved things forward a little bit and I went to visit him at his place. We slowly bonded and became intimate over a period of several months, however, he made it clear he did not want anything too serious. After a while though, I felt like I was his girlfriend. And he treated me as such. Three weeks ago, he sent me a text saying that we shouldn’t be seeing each other. I was sort of shocked because we had been seeing each other about every other day, and he had been doing most of the inviting. Perhaps feelings weren’t strong enough between us. I replied to his breakup text honestly and let him know that I was disappointed but that everything we did together made me happy and I wasn’t doing it just to please him. A week later I said that I was sorry for some of the dramatic statements I had made and he said it was okay. I told him it bothered me that we weren’t in contact and he told me that he was doing fine and that he never meant to cause me harm. It ended politely. I haven’t said a word since and don’t intend to because I have been confused about my feelings. I never thought it was a great idea to get back in with him because he’s a guy who doesn’t easily commit. But I miss him, and think about him everyday. This was not a normal relationship or circumstance. I’m prepared to let him go for good but I hope deep down there’s something to salvage. Do you suggest no contact? I feel like there’s nothing left to lose..

admin

March 7, 2015 at 5:45 pm

Yes I do suggest it in this case!
Zaria

March 10, 2015 at 10:00 pm

I suggest you talk to him, like if he texts, calls etc.. Respond so he want think that there’s any feelings left.. Since you do say you don’t think there’s anything left.. Maybe you should try for you not him.. To respond to let him know that you’ve gotten over it, boys/men tend to have the mindset of “they can’t forget me” “they want be able to get over me”and we as women tend to think “I can’t get over him” “I can’t forget about him”. And it leaves us heart broken. Well Rachel now it’s time for us to switch the roles.. Act like you good with out him and that will catch his attention trust me.. Post pictures, videos etc to let them know your fine without them and then it will be them in the boat that they put us girls/women in and next time he asks to meet up say” remember the last time it didn’t go so well, so you can find another girl to meet with”.. Hope I helped
rachel

March 15, 2015 at 4:16 am

Thank you Zaria!

Well, I reached out minimally last week and told him I played a game that the two of us both like, perhaps it was with a new fellow… 🙂 But, it was mainly to reinforce some positive memory in him, that I am a fun person to be around, with or without him.

However, I’m not really considering texting him or trying to be anywhere he is, because he’ll feel safe knowing I’m “still around”.

It’s sad to cut off ties with someone you’ve known for a long time and really care about, but I think we both have some growing to do on our own. I still have had no explanation as to why he wanted to quit seeing me, he pulled the disappearing act on me :/

I’m about to take a nice vacation and will put up lots of nice photos. I really like your advice.

Hannah

March 5, 2015 at 10:01 pm

Hi Chris. Sorry about the length of this post. It’s a long story. I’ve known this guy for several years. He was my first love and we saw each other when I was younger for about six months and then quit seeing each other because he met someone older. In between then and now we’ve exchanged sentimental texts with one another but it always left me feeling sad because we never really reunited. Obviously, as time wore on, I met and went out with many nice people and had a long term relationship of nearly two years that didn’t end up working out. However, last fall, we bumped into one another unexpectedly and it was really exciting. We smiled and chatted but nothing crazy happened, though he was staring at me like he wanted us to be alone in the room. After I left the event, he contacted me and invited me over. I didn’t go because I felt like it wasn’t in my best interest quite yet. I agreed to hang out with him though and do something simple like watch a movie. Soon, he came over to my house to catch up and talk about things. It was nice. We moved things forward a little bit and I went to visit him at his place. We were very affectionate and it was nice because we were both older and had experienced several years of growth without one another. We bonded and became intimate over a period of several months, however, he made it clear he did not want anything serious. After a while though, I felt like I was his girlfriend. And he treated me as such. Three weeks ago, he sent me a text saying that we shouldn’t be seeing each other. I was sort of shocked because we had been seeing each other about every other day, and he had been doing most of the inviting. I’m sure he had become interested in other women but I felt I had held his attention for awhile. Perhaps feelings weren’t strong enough between us. I replied to his breakup text honestly and let him know that I was disappointed but that everything we did together made me happy and I wasn’t doing it just for HIM. A week later I said that I was sorry for some of the dramatic statements I had made and he said it was okay. I told him it bothered me that we weren’t in contact and he told me that he was doing fine and that he never meant to cause me harm. It ended politely. I haven’t said a word since and don’t intend to because I have been confused about my feelings. I never thought it was a great idea to get back in with him because he’s a guy who doesn’t easily commit. But I miss him, and think about him everyday. This was not a normal relationship or circumstance. I’m prepared to let him go for good but I hope deep down there’s something to salvage. Do you suggest no contact? I haven’t texted him in about 20 days.

admin

March 7, 2015 at 5:42 pm

I deifnitely suggest NC (which you already seem like you have done for 20 days.)

That means ten days to go.

Of course, have you been calling him?
rachel

March 7, 2015 at 6:31 pm

No contact at all, but I was out with a girlfriend three days ago at a popular place and he was there. I had liked something silly he posted on social media earlier that day, just to show that I thought it was funny. We made eye contact and nonchalantly waved and said “Hey” but I did not seek him out any further or look around for him.
rachel

March 7, 2015 at 7:01 pm

He shared his phone number online yesterday because he was on a long drive and wanted people to talk to. I obviously didn’t think he had me in mind, but I mulled over sending a nice subtle text regarding something fun we shared together to inspire some nostalgia. I feel like it could be good timing because he’s sort of on a trip right now and is probably in a more laid back mindset than usual.

rocio

March 5, 2015 at 12:09 am

hi, my bf broke up with me about 5 months ago…he said he lost feeling for me in a relationship that was only for like..3 and half weeks!! (my question its been always .. HOW CAN U LOST FEELINGS IN A RELATIONSHIP OF 3 WEEKS1!! WTF!) that is confusing…but yea…anyways..i remember i text him 2 days after the break up(how idiot i was) he answered but it was really awkward …
After seeing him every single day(cuz we are in high school and my locker is in front of his..sadly..) i realize that i couldn’t take it anymore…I NEED TO TALK TO HIM!! we did some eye contact and maybe a hi and bye but we never got to talk about the break up or if he stills feels something for me…now we just ignore completely but sometimes he will talk really loud or try to catch my attention…
Ill be really honest…i CANT GET OVER HIM!! he is always on my mind, and whenever i see him my mood changes ..like i mad and when i see him he makes me feel good like there is nothing to worry about..our relationship was short, but i got really into him and i wanna try again..i need help!!! idk what to say to him..i dont wanna go up to him cuz is going to be super awkward; i was thinking of texting him after a long time ..but idk how to start!!! what should i say to him!! (and btw im really close to his friends and we hang out sometimes but when im around talking to his friends.. i feel like he feels unconformable or shy..IDK!! ) can u help me!! should i text him and confess that i still liked and cared about him??
Kenzie

March 4, 2015 at 1:59 am

What should I do to get my ex back if the non texting thing doesn’t work?

admin

March 5, 2015 at 8:30 pm

Texts to phone calls and phone calls to person encounters.

That is what I would recommend.

CM

March 3, 2015 at 7:29 pm

Hi Chris — I just “told a story” (but it was more like explaining a funny situation that occurred so it was shorter than a story/more like an inside joke.. But still a few different texts. ) I started it at night (silly) and then realized he probably wouldn’t be actively engaged but since it wasn’t extremely long I just told it all at once (broken into sections) but he never said anything during it. He didn’t read it until the next day (what’sapp!) He didn’t RESPOND until the day after he read it. But he responded very engaged and asking a lot lf questions like “haha wait who is that?!” and making jokes about it. I easily could answer bc he asked so many silly questions but I know I’m supposed to stop here!
My question to you is: since he was so engaged should I re-pick up from there in 2 days or start fresh? (My only hesitation with picking up from there is that it took him a day to respond to me, so I want him to pick up on the fact that I ENDED the convo and not just mirroring his behavior.) haha

Thanks!

CM

March 3, 2015 at 7:34 pm

(Oh but his questions weren’t “I’m interested in how you are” questions… They were more like joking comments or asking who someone is.. So I can’t jump to any conclusion yet! Idk if that’ll change your answer for me)
CM

March 4, 2015 at 6:19 pm

Oh I said earlier ^ about my hesitation for continuing it (on in 2 days) like block texting i guess (It doesn’t give the I ENDED th convo vibe, especially since it took him a day to respond to my story). BUT at the same
time since he did reply to my story with several texts (pretty much addressing/making jokes or Q’s about each part)… Won’t he be less likely to respond to my next (brand new) text in 2 days if I don’t even say a word about his big response? Or it seem a little odd on my end? (Or Should I Quickly make a joke about his response and then proceed into my next text?) — oh and what’s the rule if it takes them a day to respond? Ie 2 days nc starts after THEIR response?

Marisa

March 3, 2015 at 2:26 pm

I have a huge dilemma and it’s all my fault. I cheated on my boyfriend with my ex multiple times. I was basically playing 2 men. My ex had a crazy hold on me and would manipulate me into staying with him after breaking up with him several times. I kept trying to let him go but I live in a place where these two men are literally all I know. I am incredibly scared of being alone, have never been single, and I was keeping my ex on the back burner incase things didn’t workout with my boyfriend. It was so wrong and I feel so terrible. My boyfriend treated me to well and he really was the one for me. I wanted to spend my life with him and he wanted the same. My ex messaged him and told him everything but I’m sure he embellished. He told him we had still been dating the whole time. My boyfriend freaked out so bad he wouldn’t even let my try to explain myself over the phone or in person. He blocked my number, my Facebook and my email. And this Saturday we were supposed to be leaving for the British Islands. I made the biggest mistake of my life and lost the best thing I ever had and it’s all my fault. The problem is, I handled it very badly. I kept messaging him, I even messaged him from my ex’s email pretending to be him. I have never acted like this before. I feel like a crazy persona and I feel like the way I handled the breakup by being a crazy person made the situation so much worse. I am just losing my mind over how I could have possibly allowed myself to jeopardize the best thing I ever had. My boyfriend was perfect. He checked all the boxes and was all I ever wanted. He treating me amazing and wanted to give me the world. He was looking for a house to buy for us. Is there any chance at all I can get him back at all after the awful things I’ve done and given how I handled the breakup so badly? Help!

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