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508 thoughts on “Using Male Psychology To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

  1. Rashi

    February 17, 2015 at 5:19 pm

    I’m confused:( so we have to reassure them all the time that we belong to them but at the same time make them feel they can lose us at any moment?!
    🙁

    1. admin

      February 18, 2015 at 9:25 pm

      No, you have to find a balance between both.

  2. Sarah

    February 13, 2015 at 6:46 pm

    Why do guys just say ”love” and not ”i love you’?
    And do they ever say ”I love you” if they don’t mean it?

    1. admin

      February 16, 2015 at 10:50 pm

      Are these guys british?

      Also, some can lie to you if they think its what you want to hear.

  3. KendaLea

    February 8, 2015 at 6:27 am

    I have been reading your information and I have to admit, it soothed my emotions and helped me gain control of that panicked feeling that I was struggling with. One thing I have noticed is you (Chris) seem to question the length of a couple’s separation. Does that make a big difference in the chances of getting back together? My ex-boyfriend and I have been broke up for a year and a half. I didnt talk to him for months, at times, but, one of us would always end up texting each other sooner or later. In the last year and a half, I had blocked all his social media and that sort of thing just because I couldnt deal with the heartache everyday even though if he texted me, I always answered and vice versa. He is a retired Senior Chief in the Navy so you can probably guess, he is a controller and a highly committed man that got really possessive and jealous, hacking my computer, put a GPS on my phone, etc. On the other end of the spectrum, this man spoiled me like I have never been. He would literally do anything for me and normally, way too much. I didnt work, went back to school full time, damn, he worked full time and cleaned the house, even my laundry! (360 degree opposite from my ex husband, he was just another one of my children who required sex, lol) so I think it freaked me out that he was SO committed to me and after one too many jealous outbursts from him like screaming at me for a comment some stupid guy made on fb on my posts (just an example), I couldnt take it anymore and left him in July 2013. ANYWAY, recently, December 2014, I had a situation where I really needed some emotional and financial help, (my mother went to him which I didnt have a clue she was gonna do that) and, as usual, he came to my rescue. Since December, we have been texting regularly and I have allowed myself to start having feelings for him again. I went to his house (the house he bought for me!) last week and we ended up all over each other, just short of actually having sex and he told me he hasnt been with anyone else since me and he loves me but, we cant be together as lovers again. It’s a really long complicated story, but, we are both in different emotions and circumstances than when we first met so Im praying we can start again, and even though for the last year and a half, I had literally moved on in my head and it never entered my mind that we would be together again. I have not been with anyone else physically either but, I was ok by myself, just raising my last son at home (one is 24 and a physical education teacher and one is in 3rd grade) LOL What was I thinking, right? 🙂 So, do you think it can work out for a couple who has been apart for that long?

    1. admin

      February 9, 2015 at 4:21 pm

      So glad you are enjoying the site.

      I have seen it first hand work out for a couple that has been apart.

      However, I will say that this is one of the harder situations to navigate.

  4. KL

    January 27, 2015 at 1:58 am

    Hey! Ive been reading all of your “How to: ex…” stuff for a few days now. I recently have fallen in love with my ex. He knows and loved everything about me! literally! We were together for 4 months. We had gotten into some little arguments, nothing major, just about school stuff and future colleges that we wanted to transfer to. We literally saw each other every single day for that 4 months. We had just let out of school for christmas break, After one weekend of me going down to see him, we both decided we needed to take a week or so to not see eachother. we both decided we wanted to continue to DATE, just not see each other! Later on that week, we ended up meeting up realizing we had everything and we didn’t wanna let go of that. So we were full on dating again. Then i had a gut feeling to ask to check some of his social media.. that whole time he had been cheating on me. Like you said being the “unwanted” girl. IM NEVER THAT GIRL! I called him and we talked for 5 hours on the phone debating on what I was going to do and I left him. I regret it every single day. A few weeks ago I saw him out at a night scene. I could feel him starring at me the whole night. The second I got alone he asked if we could be friends and I said I couldnt be friends with someone I fell in love with. BUT i want him back!!! HELP.

    1. admin

      January 27, 2015 at 2:59 pm

      Ah, so you never left him hanging in a conversation ever?

  5. Olivia

    January 19, 2015 at 4:35 am

    Hello! So it’s been a long while since me and my ex broke up. I gotta say that the longer I’m apart from him the more I realize I really love him. I still don’t know the reason why he would break up with me. We tried to be friends after the break up but it didn’t work out. Now if I messaged him, he would be really mean or say something like “I’m done talking.” I barely ever message him anyway. So what I did is I started treating my acne and skin, put lots of time on my teeth and started going to the gym. I was wondering if it would be okay if I went to the gym he goes to? I’ll live really close to it and I’m not too sure if it’s a good idea. I need some help! Is there any chance I could get him back anyway?

  6. Sarah

    December 30, 2014 at 1:17 am

    Hello Chris,
    So, my ex recently broke up with me.. We were perfect together! We never argued of got into a fight, we would get along really well and we had a lot of fun with each other.. Just to make it more clear he is 15 years older than me.
    So one day he started getting distant and didn’t really told me what was going on until I questioned him. And then he told me that his ex girlfriend was coming after him and he realized he still had feelings for her.. And he thought it would be right to fix his past before making a serious commitment to anyone.. Since he had unresolved feelings I had no other choice than to accept it and let it go. The problem is that I love him deeply and I have no idea how I can have him back!
    He told me that maybe in the future after he deals with his past, we could make it work even though he knows he could lose me forever..
    He even left it ok for me to contact him at any time and that he would always be there for me..
    But I don’t know how to act upon that.. I stopped talking to him, I’m giving him his space!
    And it’s wierd that now everything that I post on Facebook or IG he goes and likes it, but doesn’t say a word to me!
    I would really like to know what I can do!!!!
    Please, please help me!!
    I need a direction!

  7. ri

    November 25, 2014 at 3:48 am

    Chris, i was seeing this dude for almost 2 months, never put an official label on the relationship. I unfriended him, he blocked me, i freaked out, he unblocked me a few weeks later etcetc and now im here. I’ve done NC for a month and then texted him about a week ago. He texted me out of the blue a few days ago asking why i unfriended him which was about 2 months ago, the reason why i did was i wanted to tell him i needed space but he was always too “busy” to meet up with me and talk about it. my emotions got to the best of me and i had to do for my own sanity and deleted him. I replied to his text saying it was personal matters and everything was good now, nothing personal. He responded “like dating someone..thats cool.” i replied with a “hmm?” and haven’t gotten a reply back. I dont know what to do, i never would’ve thought he would think of me like that, i would never do such a thing. Also, how do i end the conversation, ive only talked to him those 2 times but he has either not said anything and then initiated a week later or right now just not say anything at all. Its hard when we really havent had any real conversations.

    1. admin

      November 25, 2014 at 3:08 pm

      The problem I see is that the two of you never put an official label on the relationship.

    2. ri

      November 28, 2014 at 11:33 pm

      I know, but i still think i can still use the tactics in your ebook and the guides on here. I know you say neutral replies are not the best when it comes to texting but what if hes always been a neutral replier? Back when we were seeing each other most of our communication was face to face. Texting was only our way of making plans or checking in on each other, and he pretty much responds the same as back then. Also, he’s never been that emotional of a person and its hard to tell if im getting to him emotionally.

  8. alicia

    October 18, 2014 at 10:14 pm

    Hello thought id send this message again incase u didnt see the first on i sent an email to subject: hmmm. [email protected] on the 16th please respond im really stuck. 🙁 xx

  9. Sarah

    October 14, 2014 at 6:20 pm

    I broke up with my about a week ago. I was pushed to do it after a small disagreement that blew up. we had been fighting over petty things for two months before and we were on a thin line. Then we got over it a month later and were fine then come sunday we get in argument to where i found out he had been wanting to break up but the whole time but he didn’t want to because he loved and cared about me. he kept trying to hold my hand and told me he didn’t want to leave and he just wanted to be happy and that i should just drop it and be happy. But since I was hurt i pushed him away and because of how he was saying all that I was pushed to dump him. Then after he cried and got out the car I tried to reach out and drove up next to him and apologized before driving off and he said no we’re done and he cried and walked away and it hit me. The next morning I was stupid for texting him and saying that i was sorry and taking responsibility for what happened. and though in his messages i can see he was hurt he was agreeing with the break up and said we can never fix our issues (i had some insecurities, and he would get angry and was fed up with the fights). he was short with his answers. we talked for a bit then he stopped responding after i asked for a second opportunity. I responded hours later again asking if he seriously wasn’t going to consider that. SO that test I stopped texting him. I tried. However I feel like complete crap. A part of me thinks its over because of those texts. Even tho I did the break up and he then agreed, I didn’t want to and i completely regret it. I started no contact after that text and I’ve been doing it for a week. i noticed he’s been really quiet, he hasn’t been on anything. We were together for a year and a half but we talked about a future etc. aside from the fights we had a really great relationship This month is also his birthday.

    What do I do now? Is there hope of us fixing it.

    1. admin

      October 27, 2014 at 2:26 pm

      Would you be comfortable telling me what the small disagreement was about?

  10. Anonymous

    October 7, 2014 at 1:35 am

    Hey Chris,

    I sent you an email but I left out some important things. Sorry!

    My ex and I broke up about 3.5 weeks ago. We had casually dated before with everything except the label but he broke it off after about 6 months because of his personal issues (basically an “it’s not you, it’s me” deal, as genuine as those can get). I was so upset and angry that I didn’t contact him for about 3 or 4 months and usually just ignored his texts, which came every 2 or 3 weeks. Eventually I gave in and we started hanging out as friends. It didn’t take long before I got too drunk and slept with him. I’m not sure why I thought it would be ok, but we started a FWB situation (he initiated with a simple kiss). We eventually started going out about 1 or 2 months later. We then dated for about 8 months until he broke up with me again (the current break up). We had been fighting over small things due to the stress from me temporarily living in another place and then moving back to where he lives.

    After this current break up, I started NC after a couple days. I keep trying to maintain NC but it’s either me or him that always ruins it. It’s hard. Last week, I felt OK with everything and I actually hung out with him and his roommates for a little while. Again, we were under the influence and eventually moved to his room and started watching a movie, cuddled, and had sex. It was amazing and I don’t really regret it that much. But I did not want to keep up with it because I’m scared he’ll feel satisfied with the sex and intimacy without really committing to me. A few days later, he invited me over but I said I didn’t feel like driving so he ended up driving to my apartment (which never happens). We ended up innocently hanging out for a little while. We got on the topic of FWB/sex and I told him that that instance was a one-time thing and that we should either be dating or just friends. I could tell he seemed a little disappointed but told me he was happy we could still be friends, that it was nice to see me, and that he missed me. Then he went home.

    I was going to not contact him for as long as I can (hopefully much longer than a week) and see what happens. I’m scared he’s not going to contact me and move on. I have been doing pretty well. I’ve been doing things for myself, like changing my style, doing new things, and I even gave my number to a guy I met. I know I’ll be OK with or without him. Despite this, I would really like to date him again. I know I’m doing some things incorrectly but I need some help. Can you please tell me what I should be doing right now?

    Thank you.

    1. admin

      October 7, 2014 at 1:55 pm

      REally wish you hadn’t gotten into FWB territory.

    2. Anonymous

      October 8, 2014 at 7:48 am

      I know. That was stupid of me. But that’s also why I’m a little confused. I did it before and he came back. I know he’s a guy but I think he also really missed the intimacy behind our sex. I just don’t get why FWB led to reunion after the first break up.

      But yeah, it was stupid, I know.

      But during this current break up, I had sex with him once but haven’t done anything since. I made it clear that it wasn’t going to happen again and I really don’t want to have that FWB situation this time.

      Actually, I’m getting to the point where I don’t really care what happens. It would be nice to watch him chase me again, but if he doesn’t, I’m fine with that. I was just gonna focus on myself, then be friends with him, and (if I still want to) mildly flirt and see if he’s still interested.

      But do you have any idea what could’ve led him to pursue me again after FWB the first break up? Just trying to understand his mind.

  11. Sheila

    October 7, 2014 at 1:04 am

    Believe me, what Chris says is true. You DON’T, I repeat DON’T want a Bad Boy!!! I spent almost 40 years trying to “help” a bad boy. Turns out, he was a sociopath… Lesson learned: bad boys will want you until you’re not providing something of value to them and then a couple of kids later, youth gone, career chances diminished, he’ll toss you out like yesterdays’ trash.

    1. admin

      October 7, 2014 at 1:25 pm

      I am assuming this happened to you Sheila? 🙁

  12. prettywengzz

    September 7, 2014 at 1:11 am

    Hi,
    I have a bf we are almost 5 years already.We are not good terms with my bf for a month now.for a small reason.And he is not talking to me for almost 2 weeks.And then he contact me and all about his birthday and he he told me he wants to regain his freedom.Damn I am so hurt that moment.Until time that his going on a training and he contact me so rare.Then there i saw a pic with friends and a girl so i try to open his fb and i read it there that girl is something likes a friend or something fishy.So i cried and then i message him about it who is that girl and i ask him if he don’t want me to be part of his life anymore.Then he don’t even reply me instead he just read my messages.Until when he come back after training he talk to his workmate who is good friend of mine.He was so problematic about what happen to us and he to he want to fix everything as he can.Until he called me up and we talk all about his birthday(Actually i am the one organize the celebration in everything about his birthday)and then he ask me can we be casual for now”friends’.So i didn’t react I just go with the flow.Well he still keep calling me asking how am I.Yet he told me we gonna talk everything when we meet on his birthday.But now his rarely send me message me on fb.But still our status in fb is in complicated with my name and still all our memories still there he didn’t even delete it 🙂
    You think we can still make things work out…Thanks for your advice…Hope i can received reply soon

    1. admin

      September 15, 2014 at 3:08 pm

      I am confused. He posted a pic with another girl?

  13. Tiffany

    September 1, 2014 at 9:55 pm

    Hi Chris,
    First off thank you for posting something like this and taking the time to read this, any advice definitely appreciated.
    My boyfriend of about 5 1/2 years broke up with me. He said he didn’t think we were meant to be together and that “it was just our time”. About a week ago, he had stopped answering my calls, I didn’t call him that often when he wasn’t answering but I tried each day, and when he did answer it was always some excuse that be was asleep and tired and couldn’t talk, or that he was with his friend and couldn’t talk, or he was busy and couldn’t talk. Finally we spoke and he invited me over and it was back to normal as usual. Then about a week after that, I had texted him asking him if he loved me (this was mostly in good fun, I was going to ask him let’s go to dinner at a place that wasn’t his favorite) but his reply was “why are you asking?” And he just wouldn’t tell me, that’s when I called asking what the problem was abd we broke up…. I didn’t call him for about two days, when I did I just wanted more details on what had happened, and he gave me the reasons above. I apologized about being hard on him about getting his hs diploma (he’s 28) and I told him it wasn’t that I didn’t think he was good enough, but that he just needed a push, I told him if that wasn’t what he wanted to do, I would support him in any way. I figured it might have something to do with me being upset about not going to college this semester due to unforeseen circumstances, so last week I bought him a gift and didn’t tell him, during this last conversation I had mentioned the gift and that he would be receiving something later this week. I also mentioned that I was sorry for anything I had done and that I would be giving him his space, and that I hoped, that eventually it would lead him back to me. I also told him I would learn to accept it if he didn’t. But I hope to God that it does, he was the brightest part of my day and I truly enjoyed being around him, I thought we were great for each other and I even told him I thought he was the one, and he agreed. I don’t know what went wrong. I’m so confused??? What can I do? I just started my no contact, and I’ve read everything on your site, I’m just extremely terrified of him moving on… Do you think I have a good chance? This is the longest relationship he had ever been in……

    1. admin

      September 2, 2014 at 1:49 pm

      Everything? Seriously? That’s incredible.

      If you live in fear of him moving on then you aren’t going to get anything productive done trust me. Just do what you need to do.

    2. Tiffany

      October 5, 2014 at 7:56 am

      Seriously, everything. Thank you so much, this site is incredible.
      I’ve started working out and I’ve lost about 20 lbs. It’s been over a month since the breakup and we havent spoken idk 20 something days? He hasnt at all tried to contact me either:( and he’s got a new girlfriend who’s ten years younger than he is. He got with her the same week we broke up… I still want him back though:( every single one of my friends and my parents swear he’s going to try to come back and I hope it’s true. But idk if this girl is a rebound or what? Should I even give it a shot?

    3. admin

      October 6, 2014 at 12:01 pm

      She seems like a rebound who wont last most likely.

    4. Tiffany

      October 6, 2014 at 7:04 pm

      Thanks. And his girlfriend called me at 2 am this weekend and I happen to work with her ex boyfriend who screen shot me a facebook post of hers saying I called her!? The only reason I know her number was because I entered it in Facebook and she popped up! I didn’t answer the first time and the second time I did and she didn’t say anything. I don’t even know this girl! And I haven’t even called my ex or her. 🙁

    5. Tiffany

      October 9, 2014 at 7:14 pm

      So I still love this idiot and everyone swears that he’s gonna come back to me even if I don’t initiate anything(no onehas any evidence to support this) but should I implement the texting after nc. Or should I see if he’ll come to me. Or leave it be…?

  14. Maria

    August 27, 2014 at 11:13 pm

    First of all, thank you very much for your time and your advices. My story is long, but it is summarized in 3 years of a wonderful relationship even with their ups and downs. I think that the things that deteriorated our relationship was the distance since I was studying away from home and also the routine in which we got caught . Five months ago I decided to break up with my ex. I made the decision because he did something that was very disrespect to another lady, his classmate and I was very ashamed and surprise of how immature he was behaving at that time. Even thou I was frustrated and disappointed I was positive that we were perfect for each other and that we were going to be able to overcome everything by having some time apart. Unfortunately in that moment I was again leaving the country to go to a review course for my boards and spent 2 months there. In all those months we kept separated without communication because during that time I thought we were having the time to think and reflect on us and then give us a new opportunity to begin a new and healthy relationship. About 6 weeks ago or so, I found out that he is in a relationship with a girl he met a year ago while doing his Masters. It has been extremely painful to find out that only a few days after our breakup he was already in a new relationship. Also I think that he was with her while having the relationship with me. He denies ir…off course! It is the hardest thing I’ve had to face in my entire life. In these weeks I’ve been trying to move on. I have to admit that I did the typical mistakes when dealing with a break up. I insulted him and it got ugly because he ended up blocking me from all the social media except instagram. For some reason he still wants to see my pictures. Then I sent an email apologizing and he answered me. He says that if he had known about my feelings sooner this would not be happening. So this is all my fault according to him. He says that he kept me in his mind, even his subconscious brings special memories and that I will always have a special place in his heart. All these words just confused me and destroy me at once. After I found out about his new relationship I did the 30 days no contact rule and after that I started to send him a few texts. I wrote 3 texts and he answer the third one. His response was neutral but positive. He even sent his greetings to my nephew who was very special to him. All this happened last week and I was very happy for his reply. But also that same week he makes public his relationship with her on facebook and he upload photos where he looks very happy. Now I don’t know what to do. He answer me but he seems to be happy. Should I continue texting or should I move on? Do you thing I have any chance? He has 5 months with her and Im afraid to do something that will hurt me even more. It has been so hard for me to move on because we had the most amazing three years together and still love him. We were engaged and also we were planing our future weeding and family. I don’t want to lose him but I feel I did. I want to know if his answer to my text means something or not…..I am so hurt and I want him in my life but I don’t want to keep hurting myself while he is happy with her. What should I do? Thanks for your help.

  15. msnikki

    August 24, 2014 at 4:25 am

    update: after 1wk of NC , i texted him what i feel, realize the things im doing wrong in the relationship, how can i do about it. explained why i acted like that in our petty fight. how much i love him but i told him im getting tired of him always tries to break up with me and im willing to let go.. them he agreed to talk in person. we gonna talk to the place where we first met, we talkes there too on our first break up.. i dont know about this time.. hope everything be in my favor

  16. Disinterested Overnight

    August 7, 2014 at 7:57 pm

    Hi Chris,

    I wrote to you a while ago regarding a guy that I had been talking to for about 4 months. We met at a ballroom dancing event, and we had been texting, conversing on the phone and hanging out since we met. I recently moved to a new city for med school, very close to his home, and we talked about how we could see each other this summer since we were so close. He was texting me every day and we exchanged very flirty, fun conversations. About a month ago he began texting less frequently and it lessened to not at all. I tried on a few instances to initiate a texting conversation, and he answered very briefly, 1-2 words, and most recently not at all. My most recent message was intended to be flirty, “So Ive been in Philly all summer and a certain someone hasnt visited once…” I received no reply. I am SO CONFUSED, boys are more confusing than med school haha!! I have decided to not reach out to him anymore, as to not look desperate, but I am so frustrated/confused/mad about his complete lack of reply. In my opinion, it is immature. Is there anything I should say at this point to at the very least have him acknowledge that it is indecent to not even reply to someone you were going out with for a few months?

    Thanks so much!!!!!

    1. admin

      August 11, 2014 at 11:26 am

      Hmm… maybe not the best way to flirt. Sometimes you have to be more direct with men.

    2. Disinterested Overnight

      August 15, 2014 at 4:17 am

      You’re probably right…is there anything I can say to get him to answer me? He didn’t acknowledge my birthday, which isnt a big deal, but I am so confused as to how his feelings changed seemingly overnight. Should I ask if I did something? (Or does that make me look desperate) I guess I could just cut my losses with this one.
      As always, thanks for your insightful opinion Chris

  17. MMVV

    July 25, 2014 at 8:23 pm

    Hi I was wondering if you could give me some word of advice.

    I was going out with an older guy for 2,5 years, we had some problems due to the fact that I had a habit of going out with my friends every night until late. Six months ago we broke up because of that and he wouldn’t talk to me for 3 weeks but he finally agreed to see me and we made up. Since then I have stopped going out too much because I resent it now and I am trying slowly to cut the friends I was going out with, out of my life because they are a bad influence in every way. They urged me to talk to others and undermined my bf and our relationship every time and fought with me if I didn’t want to go out with them. He resented them and tried to tell me that they are bad for me. Lately I moved in to his house for the summer but I was sad and very emotional due to some other problems and I ended up crying and screaming for every little thing. At first he was caring but as my outbursts continued he became more distant and I became more sad. He kept trying but I was really hysterical, at that time I began to think he talked to smn else and I talked about my concerns to my “friends” and they told me he does talk to his exes. I searched his phone and told him about it and we got into a big fight but we didn’t broke up. His exes did indeed sent him messages but he didn’t answer. All this fighting and yelling affected his work too and he was very distant the last week we were together. I saw that and instead of being nicer I snapped out every time I thought he was ignoring me. Finally one night I was so mad that I went out with some guys he knows while he went to sleep. The next day he told me that obviously we want different things and that I am too young and want to go out and come back in the morning and that obviously he is not enough for me and told me that he has work and I should go back home and that he doesn’t want to lose anymore time, he wants to be calm. I know I fucked up big time but I really love him and he did too. I have stopped going out until late, I hate alcohol and how it made me act, I have stopped hanging out with these “friends” and I really feel calmer, healthier and like i got my life back on track. It’s been a month since we broke up and we still talk, when I call him or send him texts, he only texted me twice by himself. I have also sent him 2 emails explaining my behavior and my intention to be a better person for me and that I know I hurt him but I want him to be there with me to see the change.
    I think it would be really hard for him to trust me again and see me as the person he met and fell in love with. Do you think I have any chances? Do I falsely get my hopes up by the fact that he answers my calls and talks to me happily and tells me everything about his day and takes interest on my day too? However he tells me that he doesn’t want to see me yet and that some things can change. I tell him that it’s nice talking to him and that I miss him and he continuous to talk to me for like half an hour at a time.
    Please help! much appreciated.

    1. admin

      July 28, 2014 at 2:25 pm

      He has every right to resent them.

      They were essentially trying to break you up with him and he did nothing to provoke it.

  18. Naomi

    July 24, 2014 at 2:19 pm

    About 1.5 year ago my ex boyfriend and I moved to the Philippines.
    About 6 months ago he started taking drugs. Since that day he is a total different person.
    He was a very caring guy. Truely the perfect boyfriend.
    That’s the reson why I keep on fightibg for him. Because I know the person inside him.

    We had a very good relationship at first. But at the end of our relationship he did not seem to care about me anymore. He never wanted to go out with me. He told me awfull things. He went out with his friends all the time.

    And I kept on helping him with everything. Even after all the pain.

    3 weeks ago he went out at night and did not came home untill noon the next day. Later on a girl texted me that he cheated on me with her.

    I asked him about it and even untill today he keeps on telling nothing happend. That he does not know her.

    After our break up I ignored him for 1 week. I had fun with friends an went out with them to do fun things.

    Because we have mutual friends he knew what I was doing. And he told me that Its not okay to pretend that I am happy. He said I know your in pain because of our break up.

    Its been 2 weeks since we broke up. And he already had sex with 3 girls.
    Its so painfull to know that he can move on so fast..

    Yesterday he asked me to talk. He said that he is so sorry for all the pain he hs caused me and that I do not deserve this. He asked me to not go back to the Netherlands. He wants me to stay here.
    He also told me he still loves me. I slept at a hotel for 3 nights because we still live together. And I don’t want to see him all the time.

    Yesterday he asked me that he wants to find an other appartment with me. And he wants me to go with him.
    But just as friends…

    I really love him. And I really want to get our reltionship back. But I don’t want to give in so fast.

    Its so hard because we still see eachother every day because of work and friends.
    What should I do?

    1. admin

      July 25, 2014 at 1:37 pm

      Wow, he actually slept with three girls in 2 weeks after your breakup.

      Thats kind of disgusting.

  19. julia

    July 22, 2014 at 5:37 pm

    Hi Chris,

    My ex and I broke up 2 and a half months ago. We were together for 2 and a half years. I am 29 he is 28. Unfortunately I didn’t handle the situation that well and made some of the mistakes you mention on your website. We broke up basically due to my erratic behaviour but also cause he got so stressed about work. Nevertheless we had a really special bond and our feelings were strong till the last minute. The first 2 months I was contacting him basically every two weeks. But now I have decided to follow the NC plan for at least two months. Btw I found out he is seeing someone only after 2 months we broke up. I am pretty sure it’s a rebound relationship. Still hurts though so much. I met him a week ago at the airport (we had booked the same tickets when we were still together) and we had a small talk. I was trying to be pleasant and told him about some new things are happening in my life. He seemed ok as well. Too ok if you ask me. I didn’t get any emotional and I left the converastion first.
    Do you think 2 months of NC is too long? I really want to fight for this relatiosnhip. I just feel sometimes I am doing the wrong things.
    Please help….

    1. admin

      July 24, 2014 at 2:13 pm

      Explain your “erratic behavior” to me.

    2. julia

      July 24, 2014 at 3:14 pm

      Well I can be quite moody and that affected my relationship. I mean I have a problem of communication with people and especially when it comes to feelings. It’s something I am working on it by seeing a therapist as well. The fact that he was under a lot of pressure didn’t help the situation cause he had some outbursts and my behaviour didn’t help. That doesn’t mean that the whole relationship was like this and I am confident that it’s something we can work on it. What do you think?

    3. admin

      July 25, 2014 at 1:40 pm

      I think everyone gets a little bit moody here and there but if you were moody all the time that might have been a problem.

    4. Julia

      July 25, 2014 at 6:31 pm

      It was definitely not all the time. And believe me he can be the same as well. Do you think it’s something that it can ruin a relationship for good? We had something really special going on no matter how typical that sounds. Do you think 2 months are enough or should I keep it for longer?

    5. admin

      July 28, 2014 at 2:18 pm

      I don’t think it helps a relationship but I certianly don’t think it ruins it. No one is going to have a good day every day, you know?

  20. Em

    July 20, 2014 at 3:52 am

    Hey Chris!
    I have somewhat good news somewhat bad news..

    Good news: My ex today followed me back on twitter and added me on snapchat. one question i have is why would an ex keep unfollowing you adding you, unfollowing, adding ect. ?

    Bad News: Well I would say its bad news I would just say ” Not news I want to hear. So my ex and this girl are friends as I know of. This girl has the same name as i do. Im pretty sure they hung out today because they are both up north for vacation and she said ” might invade the camp next to me” he says ” badass” with a sunglass emoji she says ” it was a good time” with a smirking emoji and laughing emoji. This happened all in one day, Im really confused about him sometimes i feel like he is going to contact me and other times i feel hopeless I don’t know what to do.

    1. admin

      July 21, 2014 at 4:08 pm

      He went on a date with the same exact name as you??

      That’s weird…

    2. Em

      July 21, 2014 at 10:01 pm

      No they aren’t dating ( at least as i know) but they were previous friends but what can you tell about my situation? do you think its to late.. so you think its about her or me… why would follow me unfollow me follow me i still don’t understand. also why is he so hot and cold all the time?

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