Popular posts
The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
Recent posts
Traits Avoidants Find Attractive
What Happens When A Narcissist Collapses?
How Do Avoidants Sabotage A Relationship?
Dismissive Avoidants And The No Contact Rule
The Power Of Silence After Rejection
Why Are Dismissive Avoidants Cruel?
The #1 Reason A Man Suddenly Commits
How Long Does Avoidant Deactivation Last?
How To Let Go Of An Avoidant Partner
How Do Avoidants Create Distance?
Post categories
Cindy
July 2, 2014 at 9:40 pm
What if we have kids? Will the NC rule even work?
admin
July 3, 2014 at 1:07 am
Yes, but you may need to communicate about the kids.
choas
June 17, 2014 at 2:10 pm
Hi Chris please i need to get my ex back. ive never loved anyone the way i love him and hes the only thing that makes me happy. we broke up bout 2 weeks ago, and i started the no contact rule but yesterday he sent me text saying hes leaving country for good in four days and he regrets we lasted long together. i hvnt replied but hes leaving please i need to get him to reconsider i need him to please reconsider our r.ship to reconsider me :(. but how do i reply that text or shud i reply?
please can sum one help this is day 2 if hes leaving shud i end the no contact its only been a week of none contact. wat shud i do
please reply asap
regards Choas
Taryn
June 18, 2014 at 4:41 am
Hey girl :]
Stay calm and don’t panic. That’s the first step.
And you know the rules. If you’re I’m NC, then don’t write back.
Unless he says something crazy that absolutely needs a response. Like if he threatens to never speak to you again. Other than that, you’re good. Say nothing. Do your full on 30 days of NC. There is nothing you can say to change his mind.
Time heals wounds. Take time away for 30 days. That’s your best medicine. And during that time you need to discover what makes you happy. Spend time with friends and family.
Realise that he is not the only thing that makes you happy. Boyfriends can’t “make” us anything. You should be a happy person even before having a boyfriend. Learn to be happy with yourself first.
And realise that you don’t “Need” him. You just “want” him. We need air. We need food. Those are things we can’t live without. Learn the difference between what you Need verses what you Want.
Take time to yourself. Find what makes you happy. Calm down. And then go from there, because currently you won’t be able to talk to him without making it worse.
I believe there is hope for you, if you follow what Chris suggests in his articles and ebook.
His tips literally help. At least they are helping me. And they can help you too.
You can so it!!
admin
June 18, 2014 at 1:58 pm
Taryn is on FIRE!!!!
Taryn email me here: [email protected]
I have a present to give you for my thanks for you helping answer some of these comments.
Taryn
June 18, 2014 at 3:55 pm
Okay Chris! I will email you. Thank you!
:]
Erin
June 13, 2014 at 7:05 pm
Okay Chris, I have a question regarding the NC rule. My ex and I dated for over 2 years and have been broken up for about 6 months. When we first broke up, we went about a month without talking before he initiated contact. Since then we talk every now and then, a couple of times a week or so. Would you suggest ANOTHER NC period now that I want to try and get him back? I’m not sure how to approach the situation really.
admin
June 15, 2014 at 4:11 pm
Ya I would… If you really want him back.
Samantha
June 3, 2014 at 7:29 am
My boyfriend broke up with me 3 weeks ago but we still keep on seeing each other. We met yesterday and went to the mall. I tried the NC on him but after 3 days of NC he kept on sending messages on me and PM-ing me in facebook. That time he asked me, “why aren’t you responding to my messages? Are we not friends anymore?”. I ignore that message. After 5 hours he kept calling me. Because of that, I responded to his messages and broke the NC rule. Do I still have a chance to get him back as my boyfriend? Or am I friendzoned already?
admin
June 5, 2014 at 5:23 pm
Of course you do but just don’t break NC anymore.
Samantha
June 5, 2014 at 10:48 pm
Then suddenly, last Monday when I woke up, there’s a text from him that he was on his way here at our house. That was the last time we met. And since that day, we haven’t had any contact with each other. I really want to send him messages though. I am really worried now because he’s not texting me. Maybe he is moving on already 🙁
Zlata
May 30, 2014 at 8:19 pm
I don’t understand my ex. I did everything just like you said. No contact, completely ignore etc. I haven’t got any messages from him during NC. So, day 31 and I texted him.
*Friday.
Me: “Was packing in my fur jacket, it reminded me of this time when you tried it. Started to laugh. Haha”
He: “Haha. Was kind of funny. Hahah”
Me: “Looking fabulous!”
He: “Always!”
Then I took time to cool off a bit.
*Monday.
16:27. Me: “Wanna join out to take a cigarette?” (we live at boarding school, so.. Pretty close to each other.)
17:35. Him: “Ups. Saw message now”
Me: “Oh. Okay”
He didn’t answered. So about 3 mins I said…
Me: “It’s not too late yet. You join?”
He: “Eeeh. Got some homework to do now. But can join a bit later.”
Me: “Good boy”
He: “Became a good boy yeah”
Me: “Well, than we are two! Got 4 for math test. Go me”
He: “Yeeeaaah, right. Like you didn’t cheated on this test. Haha”
Me: “Nop. Promise. Got 5 for science too. I’m good. Shh”
He: “How did that happened? Like.. You are good now..Haha”
Me: “Idk. Random much. But, catch you up later. Gotta go work out now”
He: “Yesyes, go work out”
I was like.. What.. I hope you remember comments I wrote before. About me and him. You probably don’t. But I’ll remind you. We are from Norway. (I am really sorry about my english btw). He is 19, I’m 17. We broke up in April, and I was damn desperate about him. Texting, calling, etc. He said that he likes me like a friend, and don’t want any relationship now. As you see.. We are not friends. More like.. I don’t even know. We both are boarders, so we see each other every day. And he is staring. Complitely. What.
So, after he sent last message I was pretty sad. He is so care. So I was working out from 18:00 to 19:45.
Time- 20:00. All boarders go to eat dinner. I was done, and left out to take a cigarette. And guess what? I got a message from him! God damn message!
He: “You got lighter?” (Weird. Cause most of his friends got lighter….)
Me: “No shit”
He: “Yeah? I need one! Haha”
Me: “I’m sitting outside on the bench”
He: “This bench all the way down the road?” (It’s like 200m to walk)
Me: “Yepp”
He: “Oh. Im too lazy to go” (wtf)
Me: “Okay haha”
Then I sent him another message hour later. After I moved up the road to the bench that is a bit closer to school.
Me: “You gonna have lighter or? Moved up. Was kind of cold down the road” (true. I was cold haha)
He: “Pimp! Coming now”
Oh my God! I was so happy. But no, wait.. What do I see!? He is coming with his friend. And it was pretty awkward because his friend king of like me, but he never dare to show it face2face. Just on snapchat. So one of those guys I sat with was my ex, and another one likes me. Jesus.
So they came and sat down.
My ex: “So, wassup?”
Me: “Well.. I’m sitting here”
Ex: “And being awkward? Haha”
Me: “Nop” (hell yeah!!!!)
And then he just sat there and was talking to his friend, while I just sat and stared out to nowhere.
He and his friend started to talk about my fur jackets (haha).
His friend: “So, what are they made of? Dogs? Birds?”
Me: “Dogs. For sure”
Friend: “They look fancy”
Ex: “I like those fur jackets!” (aaaww)
So he asked me a couple of questions, like what I am going to do when I’m done with this school year etc. (whaaaat)
Then they were about to go.
Ex: “You join?”
Me: “Okay”
While we were going I wasn’t actually listening what they were talking about. Some guy stuff.. But I was glad.. Because he was there.. “with me” haha. First, he was in front of me. Then he moved and was going beside me. He poked me with some tree sticks while we were going up. (and again: WHAT…)
And then, before I said bye and was on the way to my door one of them slapped my ass with a tree stick. I am not sure who was that, but I was like: “wow.. really..”
Then I got a message from him. Again.
He: “Shit. I am horny”
Me: “What”
He: “Duh”
Me: “I had my clothes on haha”
He: “Remember those times when you din’t”
Me: “Sweet” (I knew it wasn’t him that wrote it)
He: “Yeah? So when I saw you now I was horny”
Me: “Wow.. Really.. Ask Haakon (this guy that was with us) to get erotic massage”
He: “Hell no!”
Me: “Why not. I’m sure he is good..”
He: “So you don’t want to do anything? Good old times?”
Me: “So now you are like fuckfriends lover or?”
He: “Nono! Long time since last I had sex, and porn at school is blocked”
Me: “True. So sad”
He: “Sad to lay, jerk off and think about how we had it”
Me: “Pretty sure this is not Sondre (my ex’s name) who is writing this. Lame”
He: “Promise! Can come over and we can do it!”
I didn’t answered.
He: “No?”
He: “You don’t want back those memories?”
He: “Mhm.. I see”
He: “Okay. Great….”
Me: “Pretty sure that this is someone/you with someone just having fun. So childish and stupid”
He: “I can come over and prove that this is me!”
Me: “No thanks. Lame”
He: “Whoops! Facerape…..”
Me: “Lame”
He: “Yeah..”
Me: “God damn childish”
He: “Hahahah sorry”
I didnt answered.
He: “Okay, really. Sorry”
Me: “:)”
He: “Haha…….”
*Thursday.
I texted him again. Because he don’t take any contact at all.. What is his problem!!?
Me: “Hei. What’s name of this episodes we used to watch together? About this one guy who was damn smart but was also throwed out of college?” (I remember name of episodes haha)
He: “Suits”
Me: “Thanks!”
He: ” (y) ”
I waited 10 min. Got no more messages. So:
Me: “You don’t get my hints”
He: “Haha what? 🙂 ”
He: “Don’t get it now….”
Me: “I am trying to talk to you, cause it annoys me that everything is the way it is now. Everything is just awkward and you playing so care hah”
He: “Haha okay? Well, sorry…”
I didn’t answered. Cause I’m tired of trying.. In 2 mins I got another message.
He: “So what are we going to do about it?”
Me: “Could at least say hello to each other sometimes. Because I don’t want to have it so awkward in three more weeks 🙂 ” (there is just 3 weeks of school.. And then we are done. This is last year 🙁 I got to fix it in 3 weeks!!! 🙁 )
He: “Kay”
And WHAT!? I dont get it. He is care and not at the same time. So I just didnt answered.
So I got another message in 3 mins.
He: “But. Why did you deleted me from your snapchat actually?” (like.. Welcome.. I deleted him for like 6 weeks ago)
Me: “Think I was still sad about break up. Can add you now 🙂 ”
He: “I get it”
So I didn’t answered.. This was our last conversation. It was yesterday.. Feels longer.
All those weeks after break up, he wasnt liking any of my pics. Maybe one.. And yesterday I posted 2 new pics. He liked them both.. What..
But then suddenly.. He unfollowed me..? Why?
Chris, please. Help me.. I dont understand his logic. Nobody of my friends do either? Tell me what to do. I really need your help. In details. I am so confused! 🙁
admin
May 31, 2014 at 3:52 pm
Hmm… he is a strange one.
Don’t look so much into the unfollowing stuff. Maybe he is just hurt to think about you which meant he has feelings for you still kind of.
Zlata
June 1, 2014 at 10:37 am
Yesterday I followed him again. Just to see what is he going to do.. And guess what? He followed me back, like one minute later. I really don’t get it. He is so confusing. He is care, and not at the same time.
Can you please try to think about this whole situation and tell me what should I do. Because I really need your help here.
admin
June 2, 2014 at 2:43 pm
Hes keeping an eye on you.
Zlata
June 2, 2014 at 9:22 pm
And what does that means? Do you think he have some feelings? Or is it just because he is curious? Today at school I was talking with his friend. His friend likes me.. He sat and turned around to look at me/us. I don’t get his logic. There is no logic at all.. Sometimes it looks like he cares, but another times it doesn’t looks like that at all.. Should I text him again? I want to, but I feel like it will be too much. I don’t want to look desperate..
admin
June 5, 2014 at 5:07 pm
Two things…
1. Your still in school? Isn’t it summer?
2. I would only text him if you think you can sustain a long conversation with him.
Zlata
June 7, 2014 at 11:35 am
Jepp. We still at school. Summer vacation start Juny 16th.
Well.. If things are really just like he said- that he really don’t care.. Is there a point to continue to try to get him back. I am bot sure if he is worth it now….. Because he knew it would hurt me, and still, he said it….. But this guy I was talking with wasn’t my ex.. It wasn’t this guy I knew and was together with. Guy I was talking with was mean stonehearted b*tch.
Zlata
June 4, 2014 at 7:56 pm
Now I am really done.
I went to his room and said:
“why you ignore me? Its annoying that everything is the way it is now”
he: “eh..”
me: “we can be friends..”
he: “yesyes”
me: “yesyes doesnt tell me anything”
he: “but I really dont care” and then he half smiled….
WHY WOULD HE SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT!? WHY!? WHY IS HE SUCH ASSHOLE!? I havent done anything to him! Only reason to our break up was that he lost his feelings. Thats it.
I talked to him for 5 minutes ago. Now im sitting in my bed nd crying……. WHY would he say something like that!? why!?
Gracie
May 30, 2014 at 4:01 am
My situation is as follows. My ex and I originally dated 4 yrs ago, but it was more like friends with benefits and I stopped it after I got with the now father of my 2 yr old son (whom I left a yr ago) My ex and I ran in to each other a few months ago and he instantly asked me to be his gf. We dated for 3 months, spending pretty much every day together. My son got really attached to him. Well a few weeks ago I met with my son’s father to discuss custody and what not and things got so heated that I stormed out of there (we were at a restaurant) I was so upset and didnt want to burden my bf with my “baby daddy drama” so I stopped at a bar to get a drink. I used to date the bar manager and he happened to be there. Well to make a long story short, my bf seen it as I met up with my ex boo (the manager) for drinks. I tried to explain the situation but he said he cant trust me, this was last Thurs. He said he needed to weigh things out and he would let me know where we stand on Mon. So come Mon, after we spent the weekend together, he broke things off because he cant trust me. I low key begged him to reconcider, but I didnt cry. As he was leaving he told me to call him if I needed help with anything (around my apt, fixing wise). He text me Tues night asking if I wanted my things back that I left at his house. I said sure. He is dropping them off tonight. Idk how to act with him. I dont want to break down and cry but thats all I’ve been doing since the break up. I plan on initiating NC after tonight. Do you think I have a chance at getting him back? I really miss him and I love how he was towards my son. Please help!
admin
May 31, 2014 at 3:43 pm
I do… Do you think you can complete NC without any slip ups?
Rea
May 27, 2014 at 1:18 pm
Hi I am new here. Hope you’re going to help me. Its been 4-5 months since my ex-boyfriend for 2 years broke up with me.He said that he was tired of being in a long distance relationship and he said he wanted to be with someone who can be with him physically. He also said that because of missing me so much he did to his friend things that is for me but not that so sweet things but like being gentleman and buying foods for that girl. And he felt sorry for what he did. I was so angry that time and confronted the girl (just texting her)and told that she’s a flirt knowing that my boyfriend has a girlfriend. The day after that I apologized to the girl because im not that kind of war freak. During our final day of breakup he asked me if I am going to give him second
chance in the future, because during our relationship he said he wanted to live his future with me. And I just said yes because im deeply in love with him. I also beg for him to come back. He decided us to be M.U. after our breakup and 25 days later he said that we have to moved on and end all that we had. After that we can rarely talk to each other I guess once a week for a month. And I was the one who initiated talk. But all of that is through text. Sometimes he send me message like “hi” “hello”. In this March- May. I noticed that if i will not initiate to talk to him he will not find his way to talk to me. And if we talk it looks like that he doesn’t interested but when i message him he will respond. sometimes during our talk we had some arguments because he got angry when he i bring up the past either its bad or good memories. That talk thingy i said is just texting and fb messaging. And our talk i guess from March-May is 2-3 times a month unlike
during jan and feb. My questions are, It is possible to get my ex back? Is NC rule can be still apply ? Help me please. thank you
Linda
May 21, 2014 at 4:55 am
For about 3 months i was friends with benefits with a guy im my class, and everything was amazing. The sex was so good! But just this weekend, everything changed. I was pretty drunk at a party, and decided to go over to his house. He had been acting kind of weird for about 5 days then. When i got there he told me that he did not want to be friends with benefits anymore. When i aksed him why, he just said something about that he had been thinking about how weird it would be if he fell in love with somebode else. I asked him if there was somebody else, and he told me no. Im pretty sure thats true, cause just a week ago he was super into our thing. I recated by crying and telling him that i loved him, cause i was so drunk. He told me that he did not feel the same. When i woke up the next morning i got super stressed. I do absolutly not have any feelings for this guy, im just super emotional when im drunk. I texted him that it was the alcohol takling, and he answerd that he thought so, and that he was gonna miss our good sex. He actually told me that it was the best sex ever. Every now and then, ha has been snapchating me, almost like he’s trying to start a conversation. Im fucking confused to why he dose not want to have sex anymore, he was always the one who called and made deals. We go to the same class, but still have not seen eatcother after this, because we are both home sick. I can’t ignore him when he goes to my class, and i really want our friends with benefits realtionship back, what should i do? My best idea so far is to always look amazing and act like i dont give a shit..
admin
May 21, 2014 at 3:56 pm
How old are you two. Are you in college or high school?
Lucy
May 14, 2014 at 4:32 pm
I knew his password, he told me whe we werw together and forgot to cange it, I don’t think Im gonna do it anymore, it just hurts me. But, about the relationship waht do you think?
Your site is amazing!
admin
May 15, 2014 at 2:01 pm
Well, what do you think? Do you think you can get over what you found on Facebook?
Lucy
May 15, 2014 at 10:57 pm
Well, i think it is going to be super hard, but not impossible… I know it sounds very naif, but, we had a very intense an very serious relationship and I still thinking that he loves me and someday he will come back to me…
Lucy
May 14, 2014 at 3:05 pm
Oh and I kinda “hacked” his fb account last night and found that his sleeping with several girls already and I think that hes kinda falling in love with one of them.
admin
May 14, 2014 at 3:49 pm
Ok, there is no such thing as “kinda” hacking into a Facebook account.
Violet
May 14, 2014 at 4:54 am
Hey Chris,
My ex boyfriend acted like a pickup artist and that is mostly why I broke up with him. No he actually couldn’t get all the girls he wanted but I feel like if he could then he would want to be with every girl. He always talked to me about how beautiful he thought certain girls where, and was very into girls beauty but he insisted that he loved me and only wanted to be with me. It fell I’m love with him though. I was left feeling very confused… Did he actually love me or was he using me. I felt like he was making these comments to hurt me. I got very jealous and was tired of feeling like he would cheat on me. I felt like if a girl tempted him he wouldn’t say no. Do you think I should avoid getting back together with him? Can he change? Help!
Lucy
May 14, 2014 at 1:46 am
My boyfriend broke up with me twice, the first time like a month and a half ago and the second, a week ago afer just one week together again(he was the one who called me to get back together).
He said in both oportunities that he loves me but he doesn’t can or want to be with anyone for a long time. Idk, what to do, I made a mistake today and talked to him on FB and said that I feel really sad and empty without him… I know, pathetic, but I felt like I was about to explode if i did not tell him.
Tina
May 7, 2014 at 6:12 am
Hi ..
We broke up years ago but haven’t gone more than 3 months without talking. 5 months ago I saw him out and he told me he loved me for the FIRST time nearly 3 years after our break up. He was dating someone but said he’d fix it. I heard nothing from him for a month. I started dating someone then he and I got together for a coffee. I told him of my casual dating life and he got mad and drove me straight home. We ended up seeing each other once more and he kissed me which caught me off guard and I sort of pulled away and acted casual. Then, he ignored my repeated texts. So, I went no contact. Then sent a casual text which he responded to right away.
My problem is that he told me that over the years he’s always felt like he was trying to get me to like him and chasing me. I feel bad being too casual but I’ve tried the other way of pouring my heart out and that didn’t work either. What can I do to show him interested but to take it slow? I think I was always too casual while we were dating and I never made him feel complimented so I’m trying to find a balance.
admin
May 7, 2014 at 3:44 pm
Tell him those exact words. Be blunt with him. Your interested but want to take it slow.
SML
May 6, 2014 at 9:16 pm
Hey Chris,
Did the conversation get boring? Well…I don’t know. Everything was written with an uplifted tone, speaking of things that we like and have in common (for example; have you seen the last episode of…? favorite series), question about how new job was going. I don’t know… I always tried to keep the message open, but this time got no reply…until now. What should I do? I already wrote the “memory-triggering” messages, and it seemed like things were on track, but all of a sudden he disappeared. Really sux and hurts.
admin
May 7, 2014 at 3:30 pm
I know it totally sucks.
Hmm…. hes not responding well to the TV epsiode stuff or general stuff so you might want to talk about more relationship type things.
Melody
May 6, 2014 at 8:56 pm
Hello,
So my ex and I have broken up rather recently. We both are young so we are both focused on our futures and things of that nature. We were together for around 10 months and the last couple of months started to get a little rough. He broke up with me because he said that he needed to focus and exams are coming up. At first he said it was just a hiatus, but then the next day he said that he was moving on. Recently a mutual friend of ours asked him if this was a permanent thing or just a temporary thing. He said that he didn’t know.. I really love him and well he makes my life a lot better. How do I fix things and get him back in my life? I think he needs space, although he has reached out and tried to talk to me. Is he just confused? Is it just permanent or is it temporary? Do I have any chance?
admin
May 7, 2014 at 3:29 pm
Temporary… I think.
Melody
May 7, 2014 at 7:52 pm
You think so? Thank you so much. I just have no clue what to do. He still cares. He has just had a lot of pressure from his parents to do well lately and I can understand how I might just be another thing to add to his stress right now. Just out of curiosity do you think this might last a long time? I think that our relationship will be better if I get another chance because I will know now all of the things that I have taken for granted. Also, I am only his first girlfriend. I just really hope this is temporary. It is so hard to tell…
admin
May 8, 2014 at 4:25 pm
The fact that you were his first girlfriend probably means he is inexperienced in relationships. Did you find him to be a bit immature at times?
Melody
May 9, 2014 at 8:36 pm
He does.. I mean I never exactly blamed him considering I was his only girlfriend, and I am trying not to let this get to me. It was just very unexpected, today I saw him and I was sitting down with my head down and he came by and he touched my hand gently and just kind of looked at me. I am not sure if that is a bad thing. Aside from this and a few times that he has texted me, he has avoided me like crazy. Which is okay. The other day he sent me a text message and said that he doesn’t think that we are going to get back together. Aside from that I have been trying to sort of avoid him too. I am trying to be a little open minded about this. I guess it is kind of like that saying, if you love something let it go and if it comes back to you then it was meant to be and if it don’t then it’s not. I am not sure if him touching my hand today was a good sign. Is it?
admin
May 12, 2014 at 5:07 pm
I think thats more of a good thing than a bad thing.
Melody
May 12, 2014 at 8:21 pm
Thank you. I mean I have read all through, your website and it has truly helped me. 🙂 I am trying to stay optimistic and well logical about this all. I also was very emotional at times during our relationship so I think that if I remain in control of my emotions and feeling that can prove that things will be better if or when we get back together. I think this honestly could be beneficial to our relationship too. I just need to give him his space and time now. Do you think he was just trying to be supportive (as if he saw my head down and assumed I was sad) or do you think that maybe he was trying to show that he might still have feelings? It gave me this sense of hope. 🙂
Melody
May 9, 2014 at 10:52 pm
By the way, thank you.. You are one of the only people that I can truly talk to about this, you are making this so much easier for me. I will not give up. Thank you 🙂
admin
May 12, 2014 at 5:12 pm
Your more than welcome!
Melody
May 7, 2014 at 8:11 pm
By the way, at first he said that during our little break (which he is currently not sure if it is a break.) we could be friends but now he doesn’t talk to me. I am so confused and scared. Very scared.
Melody
May 7, 2014 at 9:54 pm
He says that he doesn’t think that we are going to get back together.. What do I do? I know that our relationship was strong. He respected me and treated me right. He is the One. I know it. I cannot lose him, what do I do?
admin
May 8, 2014 at 4:29 pm
He says it yes… but sometimes things have a different way of working out. Right now just try not to let it bug you so much and focus on rebuilding your life. Worry about you first and him second right now.
SML
May 1, 2014 at 4:36 pm
Hey Chris…Thanks for your feedback. Yes, this will only work if eventually, one day, we are in the same geographic location 🙂 It’s impossible to get back without that…My question though is why did he suddenly disappear when we had been texting on a regular basis? He hasn’t replied to my text or email for 2 weeks now… What does it mean when a guy does this?! At this stage we were talking O.K., “fun” topics, a memory here and there, putting on my best “face” (no depressing, showing him i’m sad or waiting here for him attitude)…Why hasn’t he replied? I can’t believe I would scare him off with this approach…does it mean he has someone else? Even if he does, all this just doesn’t seem right…I don’t think this approach matches his character, this disappearing thing..it’s really weird. Not worried, just curious. What will be will be. However, wondering how a guy interprets this… Oh, and never did I get a “back off” signal or vibe from him.
admin
May 6, 2014 at 6:38 pm
Hmmm… did the conversation get boring?
PNL
April 30, 2014 at 5:59 am
Chris,
I am in need of your assistance. Very confused. My boyfriend broke up with me two weeks ago. He was very confused on what he wanted and said he needed space. We were together for 8 months. Anyways, he has a lot of emotional issues and fear of opening up and being vulnerable and all that jazz. So I read your site and immediately went no contact. We have class together twice a week, so I kept it as minimal as possible. On the 7th day he reached out to me. I didn’t respond. So he started acting friendlier in class, I still kept it minimal. He reached out to be again on day 10, no response. And again on day 11 and 12. Finally on day 13 I caved because I felt bad and wanted to see what he wanted. So we hung out casually and had a nice time. He reached out to me again the next day and we hung out again. Casual and only for an hour or two and again it was a really nice time. So the next day he texts me again and we hang out only this time things escalated and we ended up having sex. He bought me dinner afterwards and it was not awkward at all and again had a great day. But now after that I haven’t heard from him. Its been two days. His roommate said he’s been sick and he’s never been good at texting but still I’m sitting here wondering if I made a huge mistake. And can I recover from this? Should I go back no contact?
admin
April 30, 2014 at 1:55 pm
Do you think its possible that he used you?
Monica
April 29, 2014 at 3:26 pm
Hi Chris, you have a lot of great information on your site. I was hoping to get some direct advice from you. my ex boyfriend of 2 years recently broke up with me. we got into a fight and it was dragged out for a week and we both had bad attitudes towards each other and it never got resolved. It wasn’t anything like cheating or lying, it could of been resolved with communication. he left a week ago. he texted me at night time the day after he left and said that he misses me and my children so bad, and said that the fight got out of control and that our relationship wasn’t good for the kids and that he has never looked at another woman like he looks at me and never will and it will take him a long time to let another woman in his life. he closed by saying he hopes I find relaxation. I took this as another goodbye on top of him leaving so I didn’t text back because I was sad. and just thought why should I text back? he left important items at my house. he texted me a couple days later and said he needed to get those items. that was last Wednesday. I just texted back ok. he hasn’t set up a time to come and get the things he left. he then texted me this past Sunday and asked if he left another item at my house. I just said yes. he still hasn’t gotten his things. I haven’t nagged him or called or initiated texting. I want my boyfriend back and don’t understand why this happened. I am unsure if he feels the same. I feel that since I didn’t text back he thinks I’m not interested in talking to him. I was really hurt because he said a lot of hurtful things to me the day he left. I don’t know what to do from this point. I feel that the next text message will be that he’s coming to get his things and that will be the end. please help, your advice is much appreciated.
Natalie
April 28, 2014 at 5:41 pm
I messed up and don’t know what to do. I moved out of my exboyfriends apartment about 2 months ago after he broke up with me. Though it sucked I agreed with it and left immediatley. I did no contact for 30 days then called him about some money things. He seemed pretty upset and seemed to miss me and wanted to see me. I gave in after a couple weeks and went to see him. He flirted with me and everything but I stayed strong and didn’t let him know how i was really feeling. We talked a little as friends for the next couple weeks. He was nice and told me all kinds of things about missing me but not being ready for a relationship. This is where i kinda got mean and blew months of progress. We ended up arguing. I had made it seem like i was fine and happy without him then i kinda just blew my cover. Any advice on redeeming myself?
admin
April 30, 2014 at 12:58 am
Take a deep breath and work on a way that you aren’t so emotionally hurt when hearing news that don’t go your way. This isn’t a sprint.
Anonymous
April 28, 2014 at 12:45 am
Me again lol. So my ex tried to add me on snap chat the other day along with a pending snap chat. Thoughts?
admin
April 28, 2014 at 4:23 pm
Good sign.