Understanding Why Your Ex Boyfriend Is Ignoring You- And How To Get Him To Stop

1,957 thoughts on “Why Is My Ex Boyfriend Always Ignoring Me?”

Lola

January 8, 2014 at 10:40 pm

I’m trying to figure out why my boyfriend just up and stopped talking to me.

Saturday we had plans where I was making dinner and we were going to see a late show.

He shows up, asks if we can reschedule the movie, he had some catch up things to do. It was a believable reason.

So we had dinner, and talked, fooled around, and he left, saying we’d go to the early show Sunday and then he’d spend the night.

That was 5 days ago, I have not heard anything from him since he left Saturday night.

Why?

admin

January 10, 2014 at 1:15 am

Did you end up sleeping with him? I hope not..
Lola

January 13, 2014 at 5:58 pm

We did Saturday yes.
Abi Jaiy

January 29, 2014 at 7:21 am

*smh* close your legs, gosh. Making love is the LAST step.
Lola

January 30, 2014 at 10:30 pm

These are great vague non responses.
admin

January 31, 2014 at 6:24 pm

Sorry… but please understand my position. I am not always able to give everyone the time they deserve. I have a lot of people asking for advice and I can’t always get to them.

sarah

January 8, 2014 at 3:29 pm

Three years ago I met this man, I have been by his side through many of his lifes obstacles. At first we were labeled friends with benefits because he wasn’t ready for a relationship. Than a year ago he said he wanted to try a relationship with me I agreed to it because I am in love with him and wanted nothing more than to be with him. The break up occurred 6 mths ago when I found out he was talking sexually to other females on fb, I was so hurt , he stated he is sick and needs that attention, that it makes him feel better about himself ,the attention he gets from woman, he admitted needing to work on his issues still and didn’t want to hurt me so he ended it saying as of right now he needs to work on himself he wasn’t ready for a relationship like he had thought. So we broke up and a few days after I realized maybe the breakup wasn’t needed but he didn’t agree he said he can’t predict future and doesn’t know if we will ever be anything again of course I started the whole psycho text thing I would text he wouldn’t respond I was so angry because I have been there for him through a lot and he said he loved me he use to say he wasn’t good enough for me didn’t want to hurt me which I disagree and have told him that but it just pushes him away. So I found out a few weeks after our breakup he started dating someone it tore me apart I called him yelling he really didn’t give explanation. So since than it has been 4mths since we’ve talked. Of course I still love him and would love to be with him. Out of the blue about 2 mths ago I sent him a text declaring I still love him he didn’t respond so it hurt I left it at that. Than recently I text him asking for advice with a family situation a day later he responded with helpful ideas how to handle situation, since than we have talked a few times in the past month he is very short with answers at first he was open to talk it seemed than he shut down. I am so confused I try to stay away from topics including us getting back together and try to stay like a friend not to scare him but than he still answers with short responses and most times doesn’t answer at all, he states he is no longer dating anyone and isn’t currently seeking a relationship . I just don’t know if we have a shot with each other again. I am so In love but yet so lost. I read a lot of your page here and it is wonderful. I’m unsure if the 30 day no contact would apply in this situation? Please help I’m so lost.
Anonymous

January 6, 2014 at 9:59 am

This may be a complicated one.
My ex left me two days after Christmas, so I guess you could say we’ve been apart for just over a week. When he left me he said that it was because I was “too much drama.”. Apparently i would not open up to him about my problems and his worrying about me put too much stress on his life. The reason I didn’t open up to him, however, was because I felt that he already had too much to worry about. He was living with a friend as he had nowhere else to stay, he was on the verge of being fired from his job and his parents had disowned him.
When he left me I thought he was being hasty because although we’d been in an argument for a few days this was the first I was hearing of it, so as he was breaking up with me (over facebook) I asked him to give me another chance and told him i’d try to do better. he did not reply. On new years eve he messaged me when he was drunk and said he’d talk to me at a good time, but said nothing else. I read about the 30 day no contact rule and I was trying to stick to that until about two days ago when a friend of mine told me that he’d had a fight with the friend he was staying with and was now living in someone’s caravan and not showing up to work. I was worried about him, so I ignored the rule and I sent him a message asking how he was doing and I explained what I had heard. his response was that he didn’t know where the caravan came from and that “his ass is practically on the streets.” he did not reply to my message after that, though he has seen it so it is clear he ignored it. I have not messaged him since then.
Im wondering if I can get him back, or with everything that is going on, its best to just leave it.
I am concerned that if I do back off, he’ll simply move on to someone else.
Advice would be greatly appreciated…
Sillyhead

January 6, 2014 at 9:20 am

My boyfriend of 1.5 years (we lived together for a year) broke up with me after moving oversea for a month. He said he can’t take the LDR. However, he was telling me that he loves me few days before the break up. And telling me how much I spoiled him. We never argue and everyone says we are a loving couple. I accepted the break up calmly, thank him for what he has brought into my life and wished him the best. Then i refused to talk further. I am in NC with him for 3 weeks and I received a letter from him which is post dated our breakup. The letter just carries general greeting. What does that mean? And what should I do?
Tomar

January 6, 2014 at 5:41 am

What if we were broken up 6 months ago? What if the NC lasted 4 months then met at a house party where I took care of him that night. ( nothing sexual! ) next morning he was verjy confusing.. Scratched my head like when we were together but very quickly withdrew his hand. Told me he has been busy with school… Made a comment whtdoesnt the sweater he gave me doesn’t smell like him. ( jokingly). then few texts back and forth then he disappeared again? Then NC for another month until went to drop off something for his sister. He opened the door but that was about it. Brief short “how’s life” with brief replies then no more contact after that again.

I’m not sure what is going on…
Hannah

January 3, 2014 at 4:40 pm

Broke up 8mths ago with him saying the timing wasn’t right. We eere together 6 months and had a great time together. He always said he’d never leave and that I was amazing. Now he ignores me when he sees me and will do anything he can to avoid talking to me. I’ve done NOTHING to make him act like this. What the hell?
Joanna

January 3, 2014 at 1:50 pm

Hi. I finished with my ex on Sunday. We had a super huge argument and he finished me because he said “he doesn’t believe anything will change in our relationship”. He won’t speak to me. I have been very desperate and needy. Less the past 2 days. I’m friends with all his friends and they keep saying to me ignore him and he’ll come running back. I just find it so hard and I’m so scared he’ll get used to life without me. He isn’t really too close to many people, but he’s especially close you this one girl. Not like that at all, but they went out with a group of friends for NYE & on the way home my ex said to her “I do love her and I do want to be with her. I love spending my nights with her on the sofa watching movies, but I just don’t think anything will change”. He also text me the other day saying that I haven’t lost him forever but he needs space to get over me. My birthday is coming up in 2 weeks and so is my driving test. Do you think he will contact me then if I don’t contact him?
Kericka

January 2, 2014 at 2:59 pm

I was with my babysdaddy for 8 years on and off and we got a son together hell be 5 months jan 8th I havent really kept in touch with my ex but I called him once or twice but never call me back what does thus mean

admin

January 2, 2014 at 6:44 pm

Most likely he doesn’t want to talk at that moment.

Heartbroken

January 2, 2014 at 12:53 pm

Hi there, wonder if you can shed some light on my situation.
My boyfriend and I were together close to 2 years when he broke up with me. He told me he loved me but he felt he couldn’t breathe after he had a night to himself on a work trip. (I lived with him and his mum)
After the initial shock (came out of the blue) we were texting and hanging out again. We had been friendly the whole way through the break up. Then one day he said he wanted to see if we could get back to where we were but that we weren’t actually together again. I continued to meet him but found it too difficult as felt as though I was at his Beck and call and had no control over my emotions. It’s as if he was living his life with me on the side for backup. So I got the rest of my things from him and told him to contact me when he knew what he wanted (again this was a friendly conversation) the next day he did text me a simple “nice seeing you” kind of message but I did not reply. Christmas came 2.5 weeks later and I sent him a card, heard nothing from him over the holidays. New year arrived, I text him just to say happy new year (almost 4 weeks since I had last seen him) and I received nothing. So why is it he is completely ignoring me now? I really don’t understand we have been nothing but friendly, we are both each others first relationship and it was him who kept he contact up after breaking it off with me.
Any advice would me much appreciated.

admin

January 2, 2014 at 6:41 pm

Maybe he was just busy on New Year?

Heidi

January 1, 2014 at 4:10 pm

My ex has been up and down when it comes to contacting me. Him and I were rarely talking to each other since the break up. We would mainly talk about the bills we share and items we share. Well, I just had surgery two weeks ago and he contact my housemate to let him know how my surgery went and what the doctor has to say. Afterwards, he’s been checking in with my housemate to see how I am doing. I ended up sending him a text stating thank you, it means a lot, but did not receive a response.

On Christmas, I sent him a text “Merry Christmas” and responded back saying the same thing and was hoping I was feeling better. I told him I was just taking it one day at a time, then no response.

The following day he calls me asking if I wouldn’t mind taking care of something for him and asked how I was feeling. I told him good and that I was going to the doctors that morning. He wanted me to let him know what the doctors said. I texted him after the appointment and told him I hope he has a decent day at work. No response. I had another doctor appointment yesterday. I told texted him what the doctor has said and hope that everything is going well. Again, no response.

I have no idea what is going on in his head or how I should be taking this. We broke up at the beginning of Oct. and still, all I want is for this man to be back in my life. Any advice and perspective would be nice.

admin

January 1, 2014 at 11:14 pm

Well, the merry christmas text was nice. Have you been in NC during that time at all?
Heidi

January 2, 2014 at 7:48 am

Oh yes, very rare did we speak.

help!

January 1, 2014 at 1:12 pm

i wrote recently about my ex who has been ignoring me but then texting me at silly times in the morning (even though hes got a new gf). I decided that enough was enough, text him wishing him all the best for the new year and pretty much said it was over. he didnt reply to this text, then last night (new years) he turns up at our mutual friends house (he knew i was going to be there) without his girlfriend. stays for a little bit, then leaves without saying bye, meets us again later, then disapears again. then i get a text from him later on in the night wishing me a happy new year. i havent replied to the text, i dont know what to do. should i reply or ignore it?
query

January 1, 2014 at 12:31 pm

With recent contact with an ex, I thought it is probably not wise to keep an ongoing conversation in case you become a little too intense and he reaches a point where he thinks ‘woah, we’ve been talking for a few days straight, its too much, too soon.’ And it scares him off.
So sometimes I have just gone to bed without replying and haven’t picked up the conversation the next morning. Either waited for something from him or later in the afternoon sent a funny pic as an icebreaker.

However, talking two nights ago I was quite comfortable with how talking to him is nice and comforting when I couldn’t sleep and he seemed quite warm and talkative and open to keeping me company while I was up quite late, but I left and went to sleep mid conversation (deliberately). In the morning I found he texted twice. The last saying he’d love to cuddle me to make me feel better and that he hopes I sleep well.

I didn’t reply the next day or speak to him all day or night after… But he didn’t reach out again either.

I’m wondering whether it can be damaging to maybe ignore or not reply to certain things they say?

On this site, keeping them wanting more is promoted so some times that comes with leaving them hanging when the conversation is good…
But are there some things you shouldn’t leave a guy hanging on after they say? When is it OK to stop implementing the tactic of leaving them wanting more? Am I being more hurtful than beneficial for this ex-relationship?
Becki

December 31, 2013 at 5:51 pm

Chris I’ve been a text gnat or however you put it!! I’ve not spoke to my ex everyday since we broke up but pretty much! I still had things at his house to collect so that was half the reason the other was that I desperately want him back. I have started the no contact thing yesterday after finding your page… Maybe too late! I commented on your post how to get my ex to love me again, so if you read that you’ll understand my story. A lot of people told me not to text him or contact him but I didn’t listen, at most I lasted 6 days which is terrible then sent him loads of winey needy messages. Then some very harsh ones when I don’t get a reply or if things don’t go my way. What should I do have I waited too long to start the no contact it’s been 6 weeks today until we broke up, but I only got the rest of my things on the 8th of December. Please tell me I can get him back! We’re made for each other.
delyth james

December 28, 2013 at 11:00 am

My ex bf text me Christmas eve saying. Ihope u have had a good Christmas del:) x . I didnt respond as he didnt ask anything. Is that gd I ignored him .
sky

December 26, 2013 at 11:26 pm

I broke up with my boyfriend (after breaking up multiple times and argueing). I regret it and tried to get him back by calling and texting but hes been ignoring me for 9 days . is he rally over me?

holly

December 29, 2013 at 3:40 am

honestly im the same way you are wondering why when i know hwy what hes doing every sec every min every hour everyday and night etc. respond telling him that when ever ready he has you number than try not anymore for awhile than if he does text you back i hope he actually wants a shot. i know its hard im going through this at the exact moment and im torn but im hoping it owuld work and kida trying to do it and survive.
admin

December 27, 2013 at 7:11 pm

After just 9 days?

Jesica

December 26, 2013 at 11:50 am

My boyfriend of three years has split with me. This came about after I brought up that I didn’t feel like a priority in his future plans, and wondered if we would at some stage live together as we lived in different cities so sometimes we didn’t get to see each other enough as I’d liked. We were very in love and for his part he said he couldn’t be happier on any level in our relationship, however, he didn’t want our situation to change and didn’t know when he might so thought it was best we parted. We did not argue, it was incredibly sad, I have been floored by it as he continued to say how much he loved me, we met a few times after and it was like it was, to the outsider we looked liked the most in love couple but still he said that he thought it best we broke up as he didn’t want the same things as me.
It’d been so hard, he has behaved confused on occasions, when he sees me he tries to resist me but grabbed hold of me cuddling me and kissing my face saying how pretty I was, or how he missed hanging out with me. But still felt it best we split, it was really cruel ( although I do not believe he meant it cruel). He said he was selfish he realised but he liked his life how it was and didn’t know if he ever want to live together and he didn’t know why.
He has since said during our very emotional contact ( mainly emotional from me as I’m so confused) that he wanted to come and cuddle me but didn’t want to make me sad, or said he wanted to see me but thought it best not to. This has driven me mad. He I know has gone out and got smashed since, I think men do this.
Anyway, I’m bewildered by this and am finding it impossible to reconcile why we have split, as in how can someone say they loved me more then anyone they ever had and was incredibly happy but want nothing more? How is this true? In fact truth is, it was only me who wasn’t completely satisfied with a few things,
He text me happy Xmas and said hoped I was having a good day! This infuriate me as he knew how I’d be suffering, I replied, for the first time after constantly being in touch being needy, and desperate it is true, saying “please don’t contact me , I will let you know when I wish to be in contact again, I wish you well”
Is there perhaps a chance I’ve regained some dignity after being so needy but saying to him to stop? ( we broke up once before for the same reason)
s.l

December 26, 2013 at 9:14 am

im really confused about my ex, we broke up a few months ago and we have kept in touch, met up a few times. hes really confusing me as he will just randomly start to ignore me, for no reason. we will be talking fine, and then thats it, he will stop replying to my texts. we fell out last month, and didnt talk for a few weeks, but i had to get something back from him so i text him and he was texting me back fine, making conversation with me and being friendly. then he text me at 3 in the morning asking me a question about the break up (it was me who broke up with him), i thought we were on talking terms so i text him a few days after that, making conversation, and he text me back a few times then again just stopped replying, for no reason. im so confused, why is he talking to me and then ignoring me??? (p.s he has also got a new gf, but he still texts me asking about the break up…what is going on?)

admin

December 26, 2013 at 6:28 pm

Does the new girl have any rebound qualities.
s.l

December 27, 2013 at 4:58 pm

Well I don’t really know, he text me one night (drunk) saying he wanted to see me, then a few days after this he took her to a mutual friend of ours house and introduced her to them. They have just started working together and lived in the same shared house. She also recently broke up with her boyfriend, just prior to moving into the shared house. To me it seems like they are rebounding with each other

HELP!

December 23, 2013 at 3:59 pm

I met him in my vacation, we kissed and went out 2 times (no sex). I liked him so much so when i went back to my country i started to text him, desperate coz he never answered me

i added him on Facebook- he never accept me
i texted his mom, his friends, his brother- no answer
i texted him everyday, sent voice mail, called him- no answer

i stopped after 3-4 month of trying to contact him, and i forgot to remove my friend request. After 3 month without texting him, he finally accepted me on fb. Started to talk, made his apologyze.

i moved to his country to study (erasmus) 6 month. We met, we had sex after 1-2 month (he is my first).

he told me he liked me- i said i liked you too
he wanted a relation- i told him no
and he started to ignore me again, i didn’t text him, he came back, asked for a relation again, i said ok

after 1 month of our relation he said he is in love with me.. but
i had to move back to my country coz i finished my study and i wanted to broke up- he cried, begging me for not

i was in vacation 3 month with my family but we talked everyday 24/7. i traveled to his country after and stayed 1 month, we had good time and bad times, and we fight a lot, but trust me we ARE IN LOVE. i traveled back to my country again, we still have good and bad times, and when i broke up he is always crying!

i traveled again to his country, he told me his parents wants to meet me, i met them, they liked me so much, we was kidding and having fun all the night with them. after i had to leave again.. He told me i am everything for him, the one he wants in all his life, i am his future wife and mother off his kids…

But i had a lot of exams, so i couldn’t travel in this time, we fight a lot because of the distance, he told me he wants me but he doesn’t want to wait. i told him we boke up, better.. he agree, but came back again, saying that he loves me and can’t live without me. i told him i will TRY to come right after christmas, coz i have to be with my family.. when i came here my family said i have to be here in the new year.. i told him i can’t come now i have to wait after the new year (it means 2 more weeks for him to wait). HE BECAME TOTALLY CRAZY! he told me i am not your dog, i will not be waiting for you like a stupid dog! i am tired off running after you ! i will live my life, i will block ur number and delete you! i will never cry for u anymore, YOU WILL CRY, YOU WILL REGRET, YOU LOST ME, I WILL BE BASTARD WITH YOU…. i told him OK tell your parents merry christmas from me, bye! and now he hasn’t talked with me in 3 days! it never happened! and i didn’t talk after that too!

do you think he is woundring why im not texting? MAYBE he is waiting for me to beg him and cry and regret like he said? i don’t know what to do! I LOVE HIM an he loves me too…

admin

December 23, 2013 at 8:31 pm

I think he is and that is ok. It is kind of what we want.

Emily

December 21, 2013 at 5:50 pm

I was with a guy for over a year and every time he screwed up and came back I forgave him. Well in july he started with his ignoring and bs again and I just. Blocked his number and fb and started talking to someone else bc I was sick of his bs. And then in September I got crazy texting him and calling him out on the hurtful things hes done to me like the fake promises coming back for the night then leaving etc.(he was my first). He never would answer between sept. And now Dec I would occasionally hit him up with drunk texts or just prob being a b**** . It wasnt an everyday thing. So recently I just got tired of being mean and trying to cut him out of my life because its not what I wanted so earlier this week I told him I wanted him in my life and if I didnt hear from him that night id assume we werent in each others life well he called and I missed the call and he didnt hit me back. Up when I told him to hit me up later. So I texted him saying I understood we were over since he never called etc … idk what to do I feel like he still wants me around because he did call but now idk . If I stop texting him will he eventually miss me?
K

December 19, 2013 at 6:48 pm

Hi, I just wanted your input. My ex broke up with me a little over a week ago. We work together and we dated for 7 months and it was always intense. he tried to break up with me about two months into a relationship because of all the arguing, but I insisted we gave it another chance. We took a week off from us and then 2 months later I tried to break up with him, he begged me to give him another chance, I agreed, but only if I could take a break. So we had a 1 month break, then things were great. Then a few days later something bad happened at work and I was extremely stressed and depressed, so I ended it with him. He was crying, saying that he would find another job, that he loved me so much and didn’t want to break up. So I took him back the next day. For over a month everything was just perfect, I met his sister, then for Xmas he was going to take me to his hometown to meet his family etc. Then, over a week ago we spent 4 days at my house and had a huge fight and the next day he broke up with me. I was shocked, since a month before that he was begging me to take him back. Anyway, I asked if he really wanted that and he said he felt that was the right thing to do. So I wished him the best and didn’t contact him for a week. But we have to see each other at work every day and he’s been looking depressed, wouldn’t even look at me or talk to me. I have been acting very normal and cordial. I started going on dates with others and yesterday he saw that I got a text from a guy, since I had my phone on the table during our corporate Xmas dinner. He’s gotten very quiet. Today he’s been super quiet and kept staring at me during the meeting. Also, I found out that he told one of our co-workers that we dated and broke up last week. So, why is he trying to make me look bad and is being vindictive? He was the one who broke up with me and I’ve been trying to move on asap. And, do I have a chance to get him back? I still love him regardless of what he’s doing now and want to play my cards right. Please help!

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1,957 thoughts on “Why Is My Ex Boyfriend Always Ignoring Me?”