For the past day and a half I’ve been scouring the internet, running polls and doing research into bipolar disorder (of all places) to pinpoint the exact time of day to text your ex.
I’m happy to announce that I’ve come to a conclusion.
Based on my research the very best time of day to text your ex is going to fall between the afternoon and late afternoon hours (Approximately 12PM – 7PM) with a special emphasis on 3PM-4PM.
How did I determine this?
- Thinking Outside The Box By Looking At Text Message Marketing
- Running A Poll In Our Community To Hear The Results Of Real People
- Finding A Potential Link With Bipolar Research
You ready to dive in?
What Statistics In General Say About Text Messaging (And Why You Need To Be Wary)
First things first, let’s establish a general overview regarding what the statistics say about texting.
- Surprisingly, around 98% of people who receive a text will open it. (Source)
- Of those, 95% will read and respond to the message within five minutes. (Source)
However, there’s a catch.
The dynamics change slightly when dealing with exes.
Based on my experience, roughly half of the people who text their exes get a response within this five-minute window. Far lower than the 95% number the research will have you believe.
But it’s not all bad, I’ve actually notice that overall there hasn’t been a case where someone has texted an ex without receiving a response at least in sometime in the future.
And yes, this even holds true even when our clients have been blocked.
One look at this success story is enough to prove that,
Often, when an ex blocks you, the initial assumption is that they’ve exited your life forever.
However, in most blocked situations, your ex may still find a way to reconnect.
So, the probability of having some form of conversation in the future is relatively high.
But I feel like we’re getting WAAAYYY off topic.
The question we’re trying to answer here revolves around the optimal time of day to text your ex.
To address this, I incorporated several resources.
- I studied marketing trends
- Surveyed our audience for real-life results
- Considered research related to bipolar disorder.
Let’s start from the top.
What We Can Learn From Text Message Marketing
I’m a big advocate for thinking outside the box when dealing with questions like this, which is why I turned to text message marketing.
If you’re unfamiliar, there are various marketing approaches one can use to make a sale in the digital world.
Emails are often used by internet marketers, myself included, but one form of marketing that has been getting more and more popular revolves around utilizing text messages.
Text message marketers, despite often being viewed as annoying or even deceitful, have conducted substantial research on optimal response times. I believe we can extrapolate this research and apply it to communication with exes.
So, what does marketing suggest?
Well, these marketers agree on several factors.
- They’ve found that people generally dislike receiving text messages on Mondays.
- They’ve also learned to avoid texting during rush hours, typically in the morning and evening, around 8:30am, 6:30am, or 4pm, 7pm. When people are commuting to and from work, responses are less likely.
- There is, however, an interesting exception: breaking news.
Those old enough to remember 9/11, for instance, probably can recall where they were when they heard the news—it left such a lasting impression.
But breaking news doesn’t always have to be a global, 9/11 type event.
It can be something immediately relevant to your situation.
For example, I cycle every day with a handy phone holder on my bike. With my phone secured, I can enjoy music via my Bluetooth headphones, which is a delightful escape while remaining contactable in case of emergencies.
However, it’s incredibly frustrating when an urgent matter forces me to interrupt my ride. That’s a prime example of how breaking news can command attention. Even if it is a bit annoying, I stop the bike and immediately respond.
What Our Internal Poll Says About The Best Time Of Day To Text An Ex
So, what do our actual statistics reveal?
Well, I conducted this poll within our private community,
I basically asked members who had texted an ex and received a response, at what time of day they sent their text.
I divided the 24-hour day into six distinct categories:
- Early morning (1am to 8am)
- Morning (8am to 11am)
- Afternoon (12pm to 3pm)
- Late afternoon (3pm to 7pm)
- Night (7pm to 9pm)
- Late night (9pm to 12am)
Interestingly, a clear pattern emerged regarding the timing of the most responsive text messages.
- Only 1% of respondents chose early morning hours—clearly not the optimal time.
- 11% voted for the morning hours (8am-11am)
- While 22% preferred the afternoon hours (12pm-3pm)
- Late afternoon was the most popular with 42% of the votes (3pm-7pm)
- 20% opted for night (7pm-9pm)
- And a mere 4% chose late night (9pm-12am).
What can we infer from these statistics?
The most responsive texts from exes tend to be sent during the late afternoon or afternoon hours.
In fact, 84% of text message responses from our clients occurred between 12pm and 9pm.
There’s a particular emphasis on late afternoon hours, which garnered 42% of the vote—nearly half. It seems the period between 3pm and 7pm yields the best results.
Interestingly, this somewhat contradicts the findings of text message marketers, as rush hour usually falls between 5pm and 7pm.
Our poll didn’t specify exact times, just ranges, but I firmly believe the optimal time to text an ex is likely around 3pm to 4pm.
My reasoning stems from research I conducted on bipolar disorder which seems like a weird thing to look at (as most exes we are dealing with aren’t bipolar) but check this out.
What We Can Learn From Research On Bipolar Disorder
Lately, my team and I have been striving to better cater to individuals who have ex-partners with bipolar disorder.
This is a topic that doesn’t receive enough attention but definitely merits more discussion.
A couple of weeks ago, my wife and I began researching bipolar disorder to understand it better, particularly its impact on communication. Interestingly, I discovered two key factors that are relevant to the question of text messaging we’re examining in this article.
Firstly, bipolar disorder often correlates with severe depression in the morning.
An article from choosingtherapy.com discussed the frequent association between morning depression and bipolar disorder.
Secondly, symptoms of bipolar disorder can intensify at night.
A Healthline article stated that the condition affects everyone differently and symptoms could potentially worsen during the evening hours. They went on to explain various reasons for this (which I don’t have time to get into.)
This research on bipolar disorder is particularly intriguing because our poll showed that the morning and late-night hours didn’t receive high scores.
It’s as if people naturally discern that the optimal time to text their exes is in the afternoon or late afternoon, specifically between the hours of 12pm and 7pm.
Intriguingly, I believe that members of our community intuitively understand this timing without explicit guidance.
The “UG Hours” Component
So, for the past few years I’ve noticed this weird phenomenon popping up in our community.
One that was completely spearheaded by community members called “UG Hours.”
‘UG’ typically refers to the ‘Ungettable Girl’ or the ‘Ungettable Guy’, a term that I coined and even wrote a book about.
However, it’s fascinating when the community evolves and develops its own discourse. Like I said above, one topic they started discussing was this idea of UG hours.
These are specific times of the day when someone who is ‘ungettable’ is likely unavailable due to their focus on personal goals, success, and self-improvement.
A few months ago, someone asked for an explanation of the UG hour concept and where they could find resources on it.
My wife responded to this person, summarizing UG hours in a superbly concise manner.
According to her, UG hours are any time that you could potentially be out on a date—typically on weekends, though there are no strict guidelines as each situation is unique.
The community naturally understood, without explicit instructions, that being busy, having a purpose beyond your ex, avoiding codependency on your ex, and prioritizing yourself are essential.
All these actions require your time and energy.
Generally, someone who’s incredibly busy doesn’t have time to constantly text back and forth.
Thus, the early morning, morning, late night, and even night hours are dedicated to “UG time,” and people tend not to text their exes during these periods.
But Timing Shouldn’t Be The Most Important Factor
While the timing of texting your ex can be important, I believe the most crucial element is the mentality you have before you send a text.
One of the most common mistakes I see is when people text their exes without outgrowing them first.
I often discuss this in relation to the ‘no contact’ rule, arguing that its purpose shouldn’t be to make your ex miss you, but to help you reach an emotional state where you’ve moved on from them.
Usually, this strategy is effective because your ex can sense that you’re not as dependent on them and that they’re no longer your top priority.
This isn’t just conjecture; it’s a pattern I’ve observed through interviewing successful clients.
Consistently, people say that it was only when they outgrew their ex that they began to see real progress.
So, while it’s useful to know the best time to text your ex—likely in the afternoon to late afternoon, with a particular emphasis on between 3 p.m. and 4 p.m.—it’s the mentality you have when you text them that truly matters.
Getting a response doesn’t necessarily mean it will be positive; it could be negative or neutral.
What’s paramount is your mentality, your ability to outgrow them. If you maintain this mindset, you’re unlikely to be disturbed by anything they say or do.
More importantly, they’re likely to sense this and be attracted to it.