The Rules For Going On A Date With Your Ex Boyfriend- The Complete Guide

285 thoughts on “The Rules For Going On A Date With Your Ex Boyfriend”

Heartbroken

April 4, 2016 at 3:10 am

I went NC and my ex messaged me and sent me an apology. I replied and he was eager to talk to me but he told me that he doesn’t want a relationship and we’ve been talking since. We’ve met up once and ended up having sex. That night was magical and I told him how I felt and he said to me “It’s clear as day that I have feelings for you.” But, he said he doesn’t want a relationship. What do I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 4, 2016 at 2:18 pm

Try to take it slow from that and don’t have sex again or you’ll end up being friends with benefits

Luisa

April 3, 2016 at 10:14 am

Hello, so my ex and I have been broken up for 9 months now, and I truly miss him and have wanted him back all this time. We were together for over 6 years. He wished me well in Feb on our would have been 7 year anniversary, he sent me a picture message of his cat a few days ago – which I ignored, and today he has wished me happy birthday.

During the time apart, I’ve mostly been in NC, to guard my feelings basically, he has always been the one to initiate contact with me. He also said back in October last year that we wouldn’t get back together, but in December he said he missed me a lot and was sorry, I ignored this message, because I didn’t know what to say. It’s been such a weird and painful situation for me, where I’ve been so guarded of my feelings as I don’t want to get hurt again. I’m getting counselling for anxiety and depression – which is why I’m being guarded. I feel like I’m reading too much into his messages, but I don’t know if this is the case? His messages are quite meaningful and thoughtful, where he sends pictures of things he knows I would like or find funny, not very often now, but early on in the break up he would.

Please help out, I have already improved myself a lot, I didn’t act desperate or needy after he ended things, even though I was devastated. What can I do? It’s been mostly a prolonged NC and I’m worried that I’ve lost all my chances if he thinks I’ve moved on.

Luisa

April 4, 2016 at 9:53 am

Hi Amor,
What would I say? Do you think he could still be interested even after all this time apart?
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 4, 2016 at 2:56 pm

I think so but take it slow.. think of interesting topics for him and then try to use this texting tactics here in Chris blog post.
Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 4, 2016 at 9:23 am

Hi Luisa,

I think you should initiate a text with him

Some Feedback & Need Advice

April 3, 2016 at 1:00 am

so my partner & I are together again.
When I actually really wanted him back a lot of the stuff on this page didn’t work really, but I really do enjoy reading it and it helped me personally, there’s some really good ideas here and I like being able to understand men a little bit. but anyway. I think what helped was NC & 6 months apart, but everyone’s different, it all seemed to have come naturally. anyway we were dating for like 2 weeks and he already said he loves me, I tried to ignore it a few times because I thought it was habit for him but then he deliberatley said it while he had my attention and I said it back. i think I do love him – but I didn’t want to tell him that!! Lol. My question – is this too fast?? (We’ve been dating for one month now)
we’ve actually been very honest with eachother, he’s been spending a lot of his free time with me, he started the texting everyday..words meet actions, ect. So maybe he does love me? we rarely talk about our breakup though, is that something we should do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 4, 2016 at 8:08 am

Yes it’s too fast..either it’s infatuation or the honeymoon stage

Sad Anon

April 2, 2016 at 9:31 pm

Hey Chris/Amor!

I had completed a 45 day NCR that ended by mid February, and my ex actually started responding (before he wouldn’t reply no matter what) but his response doesn’t seem positive or enthusiastic.
Now it’s pretty much that he responds with just single words no matter what I say..sometimes he just reads my messages and doesn’t say anything.
I’ve sent the kind of messages as advised by Chris, but I’m not getting anywhere. The maximum I get from him is “okay.” Or “yeah”

Now the thing is, he was possibly the sweetest guy I’ve known..but post break up, he has gained such a big ego, that I’ve never seen before..so I don’t really know what to expect from him. I have this hunch that he’s just doing that as a defense mechanism of some sort..because I’m sure that if I somehow break that ego of his, I’ll be able to proceed with the value chain without much problems(I’m sure he’s aware too, hence putting up the ego strongly)

(I haven’t messaged him in over 3 days, and I’ve managed to stop thinking about him all the time and focussing on myself instead. I feel better, but I don’t want to lose him by taking too long or by doing anything wrong)

So my question is..how do I deal with someone with this type of an ego? How do I break that wall?

Sad anon

April 5, 2016 at 10:28 am

I send messages that are always something that has to do with his interests, so I guess he knows that I’m trying to get him back..so maybe i should do another NCR? so how long do I do NC this time?
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 5, 2016 at 11:28 am

sometimes it depends kn how you deliver it.. you can try a mini nc again, 1 or 2 weeks and then send here your text befote you send it to him
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 4, 2016 at 7:51 am

Sorry for the late reply.. it may mean your messages are not that compelling, or he still thinks you’re getting him back and not just being friendly so he doesn’t want to engage…

I’m afraid our only form of payment is credit card…

Kelia Fields

April 2, 2016 at 7:28 pm

Hi,
I’m trying with everything I have to make the no contact rule work. SO, when the no contact period is over, should I wait for my ex to ask me to hang out or is it appropriate for me to ask him to hang out?

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 4, 2016 at 7:11 am

Hi Keila,

nope..it’s step by step you should text first, then calls then after that is meet ups.. Check this post out so you have more idea in what to do
The No Contact Rule (Version 2.0)

Lily

April 2, 2016 at 5:17 pm

Hi,

I recently went on the first coffee date with my ex. There was some light teasing, laughing and overall catching up, with such a tight hug from him I swear it was going to leave bruises. He vaguely suggested that I should visit his new place sometime in the future, and that I feel like home to him. All of which were without definite dates so I’m not looking too much into it.

However, I noticed that he was swearing a lot, complaining so much about his life, his weight, and he just seemed really bitter, arrogant and entitled on the date. There were moments where he was sweet and gentle but he seems to have changed in a negative way, due to stress. He’s just not the guy I first fell in love with anymore, and if he’d been a stranger I would never seen him again. The only reason I want to see him again is because of the history we have together, and I still care about him.

But it’s getting to the point where I’ve been feeling frustrated because he doesn’t seem bothered when I don’t contact him. When I do reply he leaves it days before replying to the message I sent. It’s also impossible for me to get him to talk on the phone. He says he cares but his actions tell me he isn’t bothered.

How do I get him to chase me? Should I go back into NC? I’m a bit lost right now on how to get him to chase me :/

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 4, 2016 at 6:57 am

Hi Lily,

It’s actually when he sees you as an ungettable girl.. you have to have your own life and be willing to walk away when you know you don’t deserve what you’re getting

Sarah

April 2, 2016 at 9:06 am

Hey!
I went to the movies with my ex a few days ago (we were only together a few months and split up last summer) – but we still work together so I still see him a few times a week.
He sometimes texts me but hasn’t for around a week, and text me a few weeks ago to ask me to go to the movies which we did. He text me twice the next day saying how he had a really good time. As we’re just friends I casually asked him if he wants to see a different movie with me and he agreed. But he went out with his friends the one day we were gonna go and the other day we just didn’t end up going. I wanna go and he said he did but seeing as I asked him already, and text him to ask when we’re going, I don’t wanna ask him again about it in case I look too clingy.
Do I just leave it and wait for him to text me again/ask me when he sees me? I really don’t want to seem full on or desperate etc?!

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 3, 2016 at 10:54 am

Hi Sarah,

sorry for the late reply.. Yeah, just continue texting and calling for now until he asks again.

Amber

April 1, 2016 at 8:46 pm

Hi,

I left a comment on the thread about what to wear on a date, but it has not been accepted yet and I thought this page might have some more activity!

I was advised to do another shorter no contact period of 2 weeks. This was because my ex and I went out with some friends and have been texting since then but we were starting to run out of interesting things to discuss. Also, I am planning on asking him on a mini date in the next month.Now that I have started no contact again, what should I say if my ex (1) questions why I am not texting him/asks if I am upset with him or (2) he doesn’t contact me at all during this time.

Also, for the *date* I’m not sure what to suggest… I am thinking dinner or coffee may be too intimate, so I’m not really sure.

Thanks!

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 3, 2016 at 11:45 am

Hi,

sorry for the late reply.. Tell him you’ve been busy..if he sends 10 consecutive positive texts that day you can break nc, if he didn’t contact, just keep your cool.. that doesn’t mean you can’t text him again after nc

Confused

March 31, 2016 at 2:22 pm

Hi

In this article you explain a lot of things but can you give some advice about how to manage physical contact during the dates? I know sex is off the table until he commits again, but what about kissing, hugging etc?
My case is my ex and I had a long distance relationship. He broke up with me after only one month together. After that, we didnt talk in a week, but then we met and talk and he said he needed to think about things. But at the end of that meet up we ended up kissing and hugging as if we were together. A week after that, he told me again he wants to be alone and he went on a trip overseas with his family so I thought this was the perfect time for me to start NC. We didnt talk for 4 days and he went crazy sending me messages and emails from overseas. So I broke the NC after receiving more that 10 positive messages a day (as the NC exceptions said). So we started talking again, flirting by messages he says he misses me. Now he came back from his trip and the first thing he did is to book a trip for us to go away together….Now I am really confused about all these mixed signals from him, although I guess is a good signal that he wants to see me this much to book a trip. Although I am a bit nervous about how to handle this trip, if I let him kiss me or not as last time? I dont want to seem aggressive and kind of ruining the moment, but I don´t want him to think I could be his friend with benefits either. Any advice please? the trip is coming this weekend. Thanks!

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 3, 2016 at 11:22 am

HI confused,

Kissing and hugging is okay but not at the first date again. So, in your trip try not to do it on the first date but if you can’t that’s fine… As long as you don’t have sex

Felicia

March 31, 2016 at 2:09 pm

Hi! I had asked a question before but I still have some confusion and need some more help. My boyfriend of 5 months broke up with me two weeks ago out of nowhere because he feels he got into a relationship too quickly after his last one. He said he felt like he needed to be single for a bit and reset before he’d be able to fully commit to another relationship. Everything had been going great up until then. He introduced me to his parents and whole family two weeks before that and they loved me. Even the week before he was talking about planning a cruise to the Bahamas with me in the summer. This also coincides with a lot of big and stressful changes in his life. He was starting a new job two days after we broke up and he had just learned that he has hours that will make it difficult for us to see each other during the week. There is some unrelated family drama that’s stressing him. A lot is going on.

He texted me the next day to say how important I am to him and about how he just wants to do right by me and how he misses me already. He thinks that the best thing to do is to take 30 days of radio silence and then meet on April 9th to reassess. The second part of this is that I had already spent a good bit of money planning a nonrefundable birthday day trip for him that is scheduled for mid-April (the week after he plans to meet with me to reassess after a month of no contact). I had told him about it last week when we broke up and told him he should still go by himself since it couldn’t be cancelled and I had already payed for it. Before we started the no contact period, he asked me a couple times to still go with him and seems to really want me to go with him, which is also why I think he scheduled the date of us meeting for the week before this event.

From the advice I received before, I was planning to see him on the 9th to talk like he wanted and to still go with him the next week to this birthday event with him, to build attraction. Since then though, I caved and texted him 9 days into the No Contact period last Tuesday. He didn’t respond. Restarting from Tuesday would put the 30 day No Contact period ending after the 9th when he originally said he wants to speak and after the birthday event. I’m so confused about what to do now. Do I wait longer now if he contacts me to speak on April 9th? And it almost seems like the meeting for lunch to talk and the birthday event are already the 1st and 2nd dates scheduled out. I’m really confused how to proceed in order to be successful.

Help! I don’t know what to do if/when he texts me next week to confirm that we’re meeting on April 9th. Should I meet with him on April 9th and go to the birthday event the next week and then go into another 30 day No Contact that is initiated by me? It seems like No Contact is most effective when it’s not explicitly agreed on; should I go see him these two times and then start another one?

Felicia

April 6, 2016 at 12:33 pm

What should I do if he doesn’t text me this week to get together on Saturday like he said we would at the beginning of the No Contact period? Should I initiate texting with him next week to clarify what’s happening with the birthday thing?
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 8, 2016 at 12:42 pm

Try to clarify it at that day or before it.. but make it like, more on you know it’s still on.. like, ask that it’s not a themed party right? something like that
Felicia

April 3, 2016 at 2:19 pm

Should I go into another mini No Contact after the birthday event? Or should I just not initiate anything after that and wait for him to contact me? I have good texts I can send following the rules for initially texting and remembering good times, etc, but should I wait a week or so after the birthday event before doing anything like that? I don’t want to seem like I’m chasing him.
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 4, 2016 at 10:11 am

You can text again a day after the birthday.. better if you have something relating to that so, it’s more natural
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 3, 2016 at 3:18 am

HI Felicia,

You should meet and go because it would be more awkward if you suddenly backed out. Just act right. Don’t be clingy and take it as it is.. Be calm and enjoy.. Don’t overthink things.

YD

March 31, 2016 at 11:59 am

Hi, I left a comment on this thread in the 28th. And it’s still waiting for approval. Can someone please reply? I’m getting my things from my ex in Saturday so I would really like to hear your advice. Thanks.

YD

May 24, 2016 at 3:22 pm

I’m trying to think of one that won’t be “boring” per say. I’m struggling with mentioning anything related to our relationship, even if it is a memory. I don’t want to make it seem like I want us to be together, even though that is what I want. So this is making it harder for me to come up with something “exciting” to text him about. Any suggestions?
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 27, 2016 at 6:58 am

a current event, or something about friends, around your country, or a hobby. If he loves games, or movies,–the latest about that, or a trivia or ask about that.
YD

May 17, 2016 at 9:33 pm

Hi Amor, I texted my ex on Sunday. I decided to keep it simple and just send a Hey how are you? text to see what response I got. He responded like two hours later saying I’m good how are you? I responded less than an hour later saying I’m good, how’s work going? He texted me back in less than an hour telling me what he did at work, so I replied back with a follow up question to what he told me he did at work and I did not get a response back. I texted him again yesterday on a different topic and he did not respond either. I don’t know what to do. I feel like he is giving more than just neutral responses, but he is not engaging as much in conversation as I would like him to. I’m feeling stuck. Please help. Thanks
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 24, 2016 at 1:50 pm

it means it’s getting boring for him.. have you tried a new topic?
YD

May 10, 2016 at 12:03 pm

Hi Amor, should I reach out again or should I wait a couple of days? What should I say when I reach out?
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 14, 2016 at 11:41 am

You can reach out now.. just like always, work on a topic that is current that is interesting for him.. try to do the tide theory because the longer you delay building up rapport if you’re not in nc, the more likely you will be friendzoned..
YD

May 8, 2016 at 3:26 am

Hi Amor, no I did not go. Do you think I should have gone? I didn’t hear back from him when I said that I was there for him if he needed anything. Should I not have said that? Thanks
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 9, 2016 at 2:10 am

No, it’s okay even if you didn’t come…
YD

May 4, 2016 at 4:20 pm

Hi Amor, I learned that my ex had a death on the family on Monday. Could be the reason why he was not as responsive as I would have liked for him to be. I sent him a text say, I just learned that so and so passed away. I’m so sorry for you loss. He replied relatively quickly by saying, Yeah on Monday. Thank you. I then sent another text saying You know I’m here for you if you need anything. Just let me know. Was it ok for me to send him that last text? Also, I know the viewing is going to be today since his mom told me (i reached out to her as well). Would it be bad for me not to go? I have mixed feelings about whether to go or not. I really hope you can get back to me today.

Thanks
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 8, 2016 at 2:03 am

did you go?
YD

May 4, 2016 at 4:28 am

Hi Amor, I texted my ex today with a different subject and got a response (4 texts total 2 from me and two from him). I then asked him how his studying was going (it was kind of related to my texts today) and he did not respond at all? I don’t know what to do, I feel like I’m getting stuck.
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 4, 2016 at 7:42 am

I think that’s just normal because you already had an exchange..maybe the school topic is boring for him
YD

May 2, 2016 at 3:16 pm

Hi Amor,

My plan was to move away from the topic, but last night my ex texted me a link of a video clip of Game of Thrones which shows what happened to John Snow. It was almost midnight when he texted so I did not respond until this morning (hopefully that was ok for me to wait until this morning to text back). I’m waiting for him to respond, so hopefully I can try and keep the convo going this time. I may change the topic if we get to exchange text throughout the day. If not, should I send him a text tomorrow talking about something else or wait a couple of days? Thanks
YD

April 27, 2016 at 1:54 pm

Hi Amor, my first text was, so how was game of thrones? He responded by saying there were a lot of setups for the rest of the season and a cliffhanger at the end. I then said, they almost always have cliffhangers. So is it still on the air whether John Snow is dead or alive? He did not respond to that last text. What should I do next?
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 1, 2016 at 5:14 am

move on from that topic.. and initiate a another current one next time.. pick a more intriguing one, one that will gear more on discussion.
YD

April 26, 2016 at 3:07 am

Hi Amor, I texted my ex today and he responded in less than an hour. I sent him a follow up text and he did not respond. I feel like I’m good at getting him to respond to my initial text, but I am having difficulty in making the conversation last more than just one response. What should I do differently? Thanks
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 27, 2016 at 6:41 am

what was the text you sent first? Is it just answerable by one response?
YD

April 23, 2016 at 6:12 pm

Yeah, I guess I need to relax a little. Should I text him at all this weekend or should I wait until after Monday to see if he lets me know what happens to John Snow from game of thrones like he said he will?
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 25, 2016 at 10:55 am

it’s better if it’s Sunday after the shoe or Monday morning so it’s bit timely
YD

April 23, 2016 at 2:23 am

My ex actually texted back shortly after my comment above. I probably should have waited a little bit more. He texted there text one really long one and the other were shorter but they were a couple of lines. I replied like 3hrs later telling him my opinions on the topic that we were texting about. I basically agreed with what he had to say and I kind of left the conversation open ended, not sure if he will continue the convo. What should I do next?
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 23, 2016 at 2:14 pm

chill, think of him as a person you’re just getting to know and not as your ex you’re trying to get back to.. because in that way, you would notice what his interests are and you won’t be bothered much if he doesn’t reply right away because you’re just starting… like if he was your crush and you want to get him to like you, you wouldn’t force it right? You’ll take it slow and build up the rapport first
YD

April 22, 2016 at 9:26 pm

Hi Amor, I texted my ex today around 4 hours ago. I have not gotten a response 🙁 I texted him about a news article related to the work he does. What he does for work is often in the news and we normally talked about news that came out related to his work when we were together. Might not be the most exciting topics (nothing like what Game of Throne is to him), so not sure if I just chose the wrong thing to talk about or what. I asked him what he thought about the article. What should I do next? I am hoping he does reaches out to tell me what happens with John Snow like he said he would. So should I wait until Sunday night after Game of Thrones airs to text him or wait until Monday or even Tuesday. PLEASE HELP. I don’t know what to do next. Thanks
YD

April 20, 2016 at 12:24 am

So I texted my ex today in response to his last text from yesterday. I said yeah right. It’s practically impossible for you to stop watching your favorite show. Lol. I sent that over 6 hrs ago and I have not receive a response. Do you think I shouldn’t have sent this text. What should I do next? I’m thinking of not texting tomorrow unless he texts first. How long should I wait to text him again if he does not text me first?
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 21, 2016 at 8:16 am

No, you’re doing good..maybe because it’s just a text that doesn’t need reply, that’s why he didn’t.. tey a text again tomorrow if you haven’t by now and then make the convo longer than the last
YD

April 19, 2016 at 12:06 am

Hi Amor, so I went ahead and texted my ex. I got positive responses. Here is how the conversation went. I texted “I just realized game of thrones starts next sunday. You must be excited that the wait is almost over.” 16 minutes later her replied with “u have no idea. I can’t wait.” I texted back like 40 something minutes later with two text back to back like this “oh I have an idea, like a kid waiting for Christmas Day to open their gifts. Lol. I don’t have HBO, so I doubt I’ll be able to watch it. You should let me know what happens to John Snow.” He texted back almost two hours later saying “I will and if he dies I’ll stop watching the show”. So I decided to “end the conversation” by not responding. Do you think this was a good point to end the conversation. Should I text him back tomorrow? If so, should I continue with the convo by saying something like “yeah right I don’t believe you’ll stop watching the show” or do I have to start a completely new topic? I’m happy with the responses I got and I hope I didn’t mess up by not replying to his last message. Thanks for your help.
YD

April 18, 2016 at 2:48 pm

HI Amor, Thanks for the quick reply. So you don’t think its too soon to text him? I won’ come off as needy or desperate? What should I text him,? I have no idea what to text. I’ve been concentrating more on what to do or say regarding getting my things back. Now I want work on the getting him back part. I have read various posts and also the book so I do have a general idea of what to do. Just want to get your thoughts on what would be appropriate to send him given what happened yesterday. I would really appreciate your help. I really feel he is the love of my life and I don’t want to mess anything up. I know nothing is guaranteed, but I do want to do the best I can to increase the possibility of us getting back together. Thanks
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 18, 2016 at 5:48 pm

you had a good interaction so just send him a light text..a friendly one.. start with the topics he loves.. if anything is current go with that.
YD

April 18, 2016 at 2:24 am

Hi Amor, so I texted my ex today. I texted him exactly what I said I was thinking of texting him. He replied right away that he still has my things in his car and that he promised he would stop by after work if it was ok with me. I said yes. Soooo he actually stopped by. He just came gave me my things and said that if there is anything missing to let him know. We did kiss each other hi and bye on the cheeks. I feel like I should have asked him to come in. I kind of froze. Did I mess up by not asking him to come in? What should I do next? How long should I wait to text him again? I really want us to be able to get back together. Thanks
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 18, 2016 at 2:22 pm

nope you didn’t mess up.. you can try to text him the next day
YD

April 5, 2016 at 7:50 pm

Hi Amor, so just to make sure, I should wait two weeks to text him again instead of one as you had previously suggested? Also I’m trying to brainstorm the wording of my text should I say something along the lines as “Hey, I was wondering if I could meet up with you to get my things back next weekend? I know the last thing you want to do is see me right now and I get it. I know my things may not seem important, but there is no point for them to sit around at your place”

Would that be a good text to send? I want to be really careful on what I say to him as I do not want him to get annoyed again., even through I don’t think there is any reason why he should have gotten annoyed to begin with. I would really appreciate your help with this as I do not want this to hurt my chances of getting him back.
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 8, 2016 at 9:56 am

yeah, because it look like he’s annoyed now.. Yep that’s a good message 🙂
YD

April 4, 2016 at 9:18 pm

Thanks Amor. I’ll text him again next Sunday. What should I say in the text? I don’t want to seem annoying or anything. His mom did tell me that he had told her that I had texted him to get my things and that he doesn’t think any of those things are really important, etc. He was kind of complaining about it to her. So I don’t know if he is annoyed with me already or not. So frustrating because the way he is acting is so not him. The break up was not a bad one since there was no fighting. I did cry a little bit but so did he. After the breakup I never even tried reaching out to him until now. This is so confusing.
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 5, 2016 at 8:08 am

It looks like he is annoyed.. you cab ty to tell him that you understand that he’s and that the things may not seem important but you beed them now I think you should do 2 weeks
YD

April 4, 2016 at 11:58 am

Hi Amor, so yesterday, a few hours after I received my ex text saying he couldn’t drop of my things, I told him, ok, when do you think you’ll be able to meet up so I can get my things? I haven’t heard since. How long should I wait until I try texting him again?
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 4, 2016 at 2:58 pm

hmmm, try a week this time..
YD

April 3, 2016 at 5:25 pm

Hi, so my ex texted that he was not going to be able to drop my things off today because his class went longer than expected so he would not have enough time to stop by since he has to go to work. I feel like he is trying to avoid meeting me. Why would he do this especially if I didn’t do anything that would warrant him being mad at me or things like that? What should I do? Do you think it was a bad idea me reaching out to get my things back?
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 4, 2016 at 6:30 am

Nope it’s not..either he’s busy or he’s really not ready to see you yet.. Ask him when the best day and time would be for him
YD

April 2, 2016 at 5:02 pm

Hi, so I was supposed to get my things from my ex today, but that’s not hapoening. I had texted him yesterday asking if today was still a good day for me to get my things. I did not hear back from him. To I texted him today to let him know I will be at his place around 3pm. He texted back telling me not to come that he is not home and that he will drop off my stuff before he goes to work tomorrow. I don’t get why he is doing this. Why agreed that is was ok for me to go to his place to get my stuff to then cancel on me? Is he with someone else? He’s almost acting as if I was the one to hurt him, but that is not the case. He was the one who hurt me when we broke up. What should I do? I feel like he’s trying to avoid me.
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 2, 2016 at 11:47 am

HI Yd,

SOrry for the late reply. If you’re going to get emotional, that means you’re not ready to meet him. It won’t help if you cry.. he would either get annoyed or pity you and that’s not good. DOn’t overthink because the more you worry, the more you will get emotional.

Moonie

March 30, 2016 at 7:43 pm

Hi
I’m in a stressful situation. I and my ex boyfriend broke up in August, last year. Before that, we were in an on off long distance relationship. Since August last year, I have tried many times to get him back but I’m no succeed. Last week, after about 3 months in silence, I asked him to hang out with me and the date was nice. However when I asked him about our chance to get back together, he said that he just want to be alone and enjoy life by himself. He isn’t ready for a serious relationship. But I begged him so he said that he needs time to think about it. After the meeting, I send him some messages just to show that I care about him but he didn’t seen or reply. I even call him 1 time but he didn’t pick up his phone. His birthday is coming next week. What should I do now? I don’t know whether he is thinking about us or not.

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 3, 2016 at 9:01 am

Hi Moonie,

Don’t greet him.. It looks like you’re chasing him and he knows it.. You can try nc again and be active and make it seem you’re moving but you have to establish that before trying again and then don’t ask him again or mention it. Take it slow. Rebuild attraction and instead of asking, make him feel that he would want you back.

Olga

March 30, 2016 at 6:58 pm

Hey there! 🙂 I used to comment on here a lot and ask for advice but today I only want to tell you good news- I got my bf back! It actually happened right before Christmas but only a minute ago did it occur to me that I never thanked you for the help. I didn’t really follow the original guide, had to adjust it (a lot) to my situation and my personality, but I made use of the general tips- letting him miss me, having a new, exciting life and being a positive person. We’re now happier than ever, rocking the LDR. Thank you so much for the amazing work you’re doing here! Love you!

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 3, 2016 at 8:52 am

Congrats Olga! Thanks for letting us know!

T

March 30, 2016 at 8:53 am

Hi I left a comment on another thread but it’s still waiting.. So thought I’d comment here. I’m almost at my thirty days no contact now and would like to say I’m happy with this site. I am thinking a lot more about myself and haven’t found it hard no contact as I’ve felt it is for me as much as the other person. When he broke up with me over text I made it clear it wasn’t what I wanted, begged a little and we got back together for around a week but things weren’t the same and we kept arguing so he ended it over text again. I told him I found it draining to which he replied he didn’t think it was working. As he’d already said this and ended it I didn’t reply and went in to no contact. Around a week later it was his birthday and he deleted me off everything in the eve of his birthday. He then text me a couple of days later a bit of a nasty message about me getting with someone else, I hadn’t and I think if he knew me he would know it wasn’t true but I didn’t reply to that either. Another week passed and he followed me on Twitter which he must of done by accident whilst trying to block me. He then blocked me off of social media (I have an app that tells me this unfortunately) I have avoided looking at his as I didn’t want to hurt myself but my friend told me he had removed pictures of me which is hurtful considering he never removed his other exs pictures and I haven’t removed him off of any of my social media. I’ve not contacted, blocked, deleted anything or looked at his media. I’m not even sure I want him back after the nasty message and the blocking and unblocking. I feel I haven’t done anything to warrant it and I’m not a huge fan of social media anyway. Just find it confusing behaviour.. Do you think he hates me or regrets knowing me? I am quite hurt over this.

T

March 31, 2016 at 12:43 pm

Hi Amor, I’ve broken my no contact now. Unfortunately he contacted me again saying that I need to stop talking to people about him and that I’ve slept with this person and that person and I was an escort. None of this is true. I’ve been looking after myself and being respectful to the break up. I sent a long message saying his sources were not the best and that I hadn’t been with anyone. I was focusing on work and then I called him disgusting and blocked him. I’m so hurt. I truly feel I don’t want to hear from him again now. How can he think those things of me? The people he is listening too don’t like me because they are both his ex’s which again is ridiculous. I think I’m better than this. I was on day 28 as well… Anyone that knows me has said I keep myself to myself…
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 3, 2016 at 11:14 am

Yeah you should, he should know better about you than listen to his exes.
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 31, 2016 at 6:03 am

Hi T,

sorry for the late reply. He might doing that to get your attention because he’s not used to being ignored.

Anahi

March 30, 2016 at 5:54 am

Hi, team!

I passed the NC, but i think that i need more time to recover cause i’m having a difficult time with depression, but working on it.
I have such a wonderful relationship, until my depression came and my ex had a break down about his fears of commitment and many problems more…then we broke up after a “time” when i act desesperate and then one day we break up…
I went into NC, and travel out of the country, then i arrive and he put a like on my photo, after one month of no talking.
Then…two weeks after, i put a like on his photo…and then he started liking more photos (i didnt put any more likes on his).
Now is been almost two months, and i don’t feel ready to talk to him…cause i wanna so badly recover our relantionship and i’m struggling with this fears and feelings…
Is a good signal that he puts likes on my fb? Back then, when we have problems, i always was who initiates the contact first…and i know how he waits a lot to do something that is difficult to manage….
He was posting sad songs, like some that says things like he is a bad lover or things the “goodbye” was meant to be and stuff…
I’m afraid…

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 3, 2016 at 7:24 am

HI Anahi,

If you’re still not ready don’t contact him yet..

En

March 29, 2016 at 12:45 am

So my ex and i have been no more for almost two years already. I am at the “walk away, move on while not really moving on/still leaving the door open” so i’m pretty chill and stable. We had a plan for a certain event where we were supposed to be a pair/couple. i was supposed to be Alice and he was supposed to be Mad hatter for it. Thing is, the plan didn’t go through last year cuz breakup. (fyi he said we can still be friends, but he is not giving me attention. he also has a new gf.) This year, the event is happening again (happens every year or every other year) and I simply wanna dress up as Alice even without a mad hatter. I was wondering if it is a good idea for me to go as Alice on my own to the event we were supposed to attend together? Even if we had a “plan” or “agreement” that it’s our thing? I was worried it might be rude? Second, in case another guy wanted to escort me as mad hatter, is it rude if i would allow him? Because there’s technically no call-off of the wonderland plan and we both were halfway through preparing it back then anyway. I also dont want to communicate with him at the moment because i did the chasing before. And third question to this since i have read the recent entry posted… will my casual inviting him again to this event as wonderland characters as a pair…. as -friends- … be good? as much as possible i dont want to be a tramp by tugging on while he has a gf… but the new entry talks about presence. What is your advice? 🙂

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 3, 2016 at 5:20 am

HI En,

inviting him is too forward.. You can still dress up as Alice because that’s what you want. It’s his problem whatever he thinks about it but it’s better if you find another date.

Katrina

March 28, 2016 at 9:58 pm

Great article and perfect timing!

i just had a third romantic date with my ex. It was great but he did not bring up getting back together. After our date, He commented that he thought we could do better next time and I couldn’t help myself from agreeing with him and saying some things deserve a second chance, then ended the conversation. I texted him him once today to ask him a question but no other contact.

Would you recommend doing the 3day nc “pause”? And do I just go into it even though we’ve talked already today?

Katrina

March 28, 2016 at 9:59 pm

Just to clarify, his comment was in regards to our cooking experiment.
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 3, 2016 at 5:06 am

HI Katrina,

Sorry for the late reply.. Did you do the 3 day pause?

Unsure

March 28, 2016 at 8:57 pm

Hi,
I have got all the material you offer however am still now stumped with my situation? Me and my ex broke up 4 months ago, after being together 4 years, because we moved in together and it turned out he had never wanted it, but was worried about losing me, so after 2 months we got rid of the house and he needed space because he felt pressured but still said he loved me and may want to be with me in the future, in 2 months, 6 months or 2 years etc. My get your ex back campaign has gone pretty perfectly dare I say it, followed all the rules and have been doing girlfriend messages for a while, however I have been initiating majority of the contact. He sent me a message saying how he had missed me and then asked me out that week. We went for a coffee and he seemed very nervous and spoke about being friends a lot, but said how he misses me and wants to keep talking to me, how much he cares about me and how he can’t listen to music at the moment because it is all about love and he can’t handle it, it was mixed signals, however he asked to see me for a coffee again the next week. Over the last week I have sent a deeper miss you text, which I got a very in depth positive reply saying how much he misses me and all my family, but asked if I was okay and whether talking to me was getting too hard? I assured him it was not and I just wanted to say how I felt. Today I sent him a sex text and I got a very positive response saying ‘how could he ever forget that night and we have so many great experiences etc’ but he said I was worrying him and that he wanted to call me tonight. However he has not called and he has just messaged me saying it has got too late and that he is too busy with work to have another coffee now this week but would like to call me this week instead. Should I reply? What should I do now? I feel I may have come on too strong and I need to do some NC? Please help, I desperately need some advice. Thanks so much for all the work you do, it has helped me so much to get to this point!

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 31, 2016 at 6:00 am

Hi Emily,

Sorry for the late reply. Just continue with the talk, try more flirty texts or try the tide theory. When your number of responses that day are the highest, rest texting the next day.

YD

March 28, 2016 at 4:35 pm

I’m going to see my ex at his place this Saturday to pick up my things. I was in NC for two months (i found this site a little over a month after our break up) and I felt like I needed to do this first before attempting to re-establish connection with him. I know this is not a date, but I would like some guidance as to what should I do, say when I see him at his place. What if I get a bit emotional when I’m gathering my things. I know I won’t argue or anything like that as I can control this aspect of myself (and my ex is very similar to me in that sense), but I cry very easily. Any tips for me if I’m not able to stop myself from crying at the moment? Do you think the fact that I’m getting my things would have a negative impact on being able to get back with my ex? Thank you

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 2, 2016 at 11:47 am

HI Yd,

SOrry for the late reply. If you’re going to get emotional, that means you’re not ready to meet him. It won’t help if you cry.. he would either get annoyed or pity you and that’s not good. DOn’t overthink because the more you worry, the more you will get emotional.

Beth

March 28, 2016 at 1:09 am

Not my first time to ask a question, but i will give you a quick recap.

My Ex and I have been in contact for the last 3 months. We talk once or twice a week (maybe more) and try to see each other at least once a week/ week and half. We had a good relationship and good break up. We reconnected after a year. We’ve talked about getting back together and how we want to take things slow but with the intentions of being in a relationship again. We don’t want to rush anything and mess things up. So as of now we’re learning about each other again and being friends. The both of us aren’t talking to anyone else and we’ve deleted our dating apps.

Around a month ago we had a falling out and some miscommunication led him to believe that I was done with him. Even when he thought that he would still talk me but he wasn’t making the effort to hangout anymore. We eventually cleared things up 2 weeks ago. He had mentioned how he got back on a dating app but he deleted it after two days, I just ignored it. I thought we picked up from where left but I’m not sure anymore.

I did commit the mistake of sleeping with him a week and half ago (first time since the breakup). I decided I’d do a few days of no contact but he’s been messaging me more (nothing related to what we did) and liking my tweets. I follow your rules on conversations keeping them short and always ending it first. I know he likes talking to me because he still keeps the conversation going even when it starts getting boring and in the past he would just stop. We haven’t hung out since that night and every time we’ve talked I’ve mentioned hanging out and he’s says yes but we never plan anything.

Should I be the one makes the plans? Should I just wait? Do you think he still wants try or he’s done? Have I ruined my chances?

sorry for the questions, i have the book but i still need help haha

Beth

April 6, 2016 at 8:56 pm

So last Thursday he mentioned seeing another movie for this upcoming Sunday. He hadn’t messaged me yet and I decided to message him today to ask him if he wanted some tickets to this concert I can’t go to anymore. Since we were already texting I mentioned seeing the movie. He said yes and gave me two days to choose from. It worked out because I have things going on almost every night except for one of the days he suggested.

Was it wrong of me to ask about seeing the movie? I know I need to be the ungettable girl and have the guy do the work, but I should try too. Have I been trying too hard? I was the one that messed up and ended our process of getting back together but it’s been like a month and half since that. Before that happened he was the one that was making plans with me and texting me first. Do you think he’s over it and just trying to be nice?

He’s an introvert and has anxiety. He’s recently been busy being more social, going out and making new friends. Could that be a factor?
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 8, 2016 at 8:23 pm

well once is ok… if he’s being social that means he’s straying away from being an intorovert
Beth

April 3, 2016 at 3:51 pm

So, i asked him to see a movie this past week and we went. After the movie we talked at his place and i made sure to put some space between us and nothing happened. He walked me to my car and we talked more. We said bye like 4 times before i actually left.
He asked me to see another movie next week and he keeps reminding/asking me to go to concerts in the future. Recently, he made a new group of friends and old friends have been coming to visit so he really hasn tried to see me. I won tickets to a game a few months ago and he was really excited and the game is this week and i asked him if he still wanted to go and he said no. Should i be worried? Should i just stop trying? I havent spoken to him since that night and i’ve made it a point to not reach out until he does. Is that bad?
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 4, 2016 at 11:37 am

if he wanted to go to the movies with you, then there must be other reasons why he doesn’t want to go to the game
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 3, 2016 at 4:10 am

Hi Beth,

First the sex shouldn’t repeat. You can try to invite him if you want. But take it slow, if you’re not into calls yet, even if you met a week ago, try that first now.

« Previous 1 2 3 4 Next »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

285 thoughts on “The Rules For Going On A Date With Your Ex Boyfriend”